President Bush Stuns Television Audience

Crawford, Texas -- The White House is in spin mode this evening. White House aides are trying to explain President Bush's unusual display of public anger witnessed by millions of viewers on CNN's "Larry King Live" program yesterday evening.

Seconds before the end of an announced commercial break, President Bush was informed his PayPal account had been "limited" because it was linked to another user account that was used to fund the purchase of online pornography. The suspect PayPal account was opened in 1998 using the same White House IP address that President Bush was using.

The President then reportedly said, "Those fuckin' bastards! Ya'll mean my payment didn't go through for that Hank Williams thing?" Continuing his angry soloquy, the President prominently displayed his middle finger to the cameras just as the next live segment began. President Bush punctuated his obscene gesture with a loud, "Fuck you, PayPal. I got almost four grand in that account!"

President Bush immediately realized his faux paw and apologized to a stunned and speechless Larry King. At the program's end, Mr. King promised to invite President Bush back for another discussion on America's declining morals and what politicians can do about it.

The White House released a statement this morning saying "...Bush had every right to loose his temper. It's what any American would have done upon finding out a company froze your account based on the actions of others." PayPal would not provide any information to the White House or President Bush about the account limitation citing "3rd party privacy concerns." White House officials however claim to have traced the linked account to former President Clinton.

Reached at his Harlem, NY office, former President Clinton denied any link to the PayPal account used to buy online pornography. "I did not have business relations with that company -- PayPal," Clinton explained.

President Bush remains angry, and White House officials are mum on their next course of action. White House Press Secretary, Tony Snow, vowed to "file an immediate appeal" with PayPal once they are able to contact a customer service representative.