1
00:00:00,120 --> 00:00:03,400
BEN: You're a stupid, slow
waddling duck.

2
00:00:03,480 --> 00:00:05,920
KIDS ALL TALK AT ONCE

3
00:00:06,000 --> 00:00:09,440
ALL SHOUTING AT ONCE

4
00:00:09,520 --> 00:00:11,440
Oh, you cheeky beasts.

5
00:00:11,520 --> 00:00:13,560
BEN: ...slimy oven glove.

6
00:00:13,640 --> 00:00:16,280
You're germs from a fly.

7
00:00:16,360 --> 00:00:18,880
-I've never been so insulted.
-You're hair!

8
00:00:18,960 --> 00:00:22,880
You're stinky brain juice
from a diseased cave troll.

9
00:00:22,960 --> 00:00:26,640
You are a dead warthog's burp.

10
00:00:26,800 --> 00:00:30,040
You're elephant poo that's
stinky and yucky.

11
00:00:30,120 --> 00:00:31,720
All right, enough with
the poo stuff.

12
00:00:31,800 --> 00:00:33,920
You're a dead
elephant's diarrhoea.

13
00:00:34,000 --> 00:00:35,280
Thank you.

14
00:00:35,360 --> 00:00:36,640
ALL SHOUTING AT ONCE

15
00:00:36,720 --> 00:00:38,640
All right, enough of that.

16
00:00:38,720 --> 00:00:40,720
ALL SHOUTING AT ONCE

17
00:00:40,800 --> 00:00:42,800
Thank you, enough of
the poo jokes.

18
00:00:42,880 --> 00:00:44,680
-Horrible...
-Stop it.

19
00:00:44,960 --> 00:00:49,280
I know, let's play
Fortunately, Unfortunately.

20
00:00:49,360 --> 00:00:50,800
I'll start.

21
00:00:50,960 --> 00:00:54,080
Fortunately, the sun
was shining.

22
00:00:54,160 --> 00:00:56,040
Unfortunately, I don't like burgers.

23
00:00:56,120 --> 00:00:59,120
-You said you liked burgers.
-When did I say that?

24
00:00:59,200 --> 00:01:01,120
When you wouldn't eat your fish.

25
00:01:01,200 --> 00:01:03,720
-I mean, what do you like?
-Pudding.

26
00:01:03,800 --> 00:01:08,040
-SUE: You can't just eat puddings.
-You can if you're a vegetarian.

27
00:01:08,120 --> 00:01:12,360
Vegetarians eat up all their vegetables.
The clue is in the word.

28
00:01:12,440 --> 00:01:15,600
-This isn't my bowl.
-SUE: It is your bowl!

29
00:01:15,760 --> 00:01:18,280
Special bowl, special spoon,
special cup.

30
00:01:18,360 --> 00:01:20,720
-Nice burgers.
-Thank you, Deion.

31
00:01:20,800 --> 00:01:22,760
Now, why can't I have
children like you?

32
00:01:22,840 --> 00:01:25,640
Can I have some lager?

33
00:01:25,720 --> 00:01:28,720
-Red Stripe if you have it.
-Red Stripe?

34
00:01:28,800 --> 00:01:31,000
My dad gives it to me.

35
00:01:32,320 --> 00:01:34,200
BEN: Can I have some too?

36
00:01:34,760 --> 00:01:39,880
Now, weren't we playing
Fortunately, Unfortunately?

37
00:01:40,000 --> 00:01:41,560
SUE: Hm? Yeah, I think we were.

38
00:01:41,640 --> 00:01:43,880
-Can I start?
-No, I'll start.

39
00:01:43,960 --> 00:01:48,680
Fortunately, the dragon
who came to stay was friendly.

40
00:01:48,760 --> 00:01:54,360
-Unfortunately the dragon who
came to stay had diarrhoea.
-EXASPERATED Uh!

41
00:01:54,440 --> 00:01:55,640
PHONE RINGS

42
00:01:55,720 --> 00:01:58,360
Fortunately he rushed to the toilet
before he pooed his pants.

43
00:01:58,440 --> 00:02:01,320
KAREN: Unfortunately,

44
00:02:01,400 --> 00:02:05,480
he left with all the food...

45
00:02:06,640 --> 00:02:09,640
-JAKE: Mum!
-SUE: Ah, thank you.

46
00:02:10,640 --> 00:02:12,680
Hello?

47
00:02:12,760 --> 00:02:15,520
Hm, just put it down.

48
00:02:15,600 --> 00:02:20,160
Otto's dad had that, when he
picked the phone, they always hung up.

49
00:02:20,240 --> 00:02:24,000
Turns out his wife
was cheating on him.

50
00:02:25,040 --> 00:02:26,760
Could you not do that
at the table, please?

51
00:02:26,840 --> 00:02:27,840
I'm revising.

52
00:02:27,920 --> 00:02:30,320
-You're MSNing!
-JAKE: About homework.

53
00:02:30,400 --> 00:02:32,880
"Hello, Barney,
I'm not doing my homework".

54
00:02:32,960 --> 00:02:35,440
-"No, hi, Jake, neither am I."
-Sarcasm.

55
00:02:35,520 --> 00:02:36,560
SUE: No, it's not.

56
00:02:36,640 --> 00:02:37,560
MOBILE PHONE RINGS

57
00:02:37,640 --> 00:02:40,920
-It's your mobile.
-I know it's my mobile.

58
00:02:41,200 --> 00:02:44,320
-ALL: Ring, ring, ring!
-Very funny! Shush.

59
00:02:45,080 --> 00:02:47,600
Stop it, guys, that
is really annoying.

60
00:02:47,680 --> 00:02:50,840
ALL: Ring, ring, ring, ring.

61
00:02:51,520 --> 00:02:53,200
Ah! Oh, Jesus!

62
00:02:54,000 --> 00:02:54,880
Hi, Veronica.

63
00:02:54,960 --> 00:02:55,800
PHONE RINGS

64
00:02:55,880 --> 00:02:57,280
Hang on a minute.

65
00:03:00,040 --> 00:03:02,040
Hello. Oh, hi, Dad.

66
00:03:02,120 --> 00:03:04,680
Jake, can you talk to your
granddad for a minute, please.

67
00:03:05,360 --> 00:03:06,720
Sorry, Veronica.

68
00:03:06,800 --> 00:03:08,960
-JAKE: Hi, Granddad.
-SUE: Yeah.

69
00:03:09,040 --> 00:03:12,280
No, you only have
to say I live with you,

70
00:03:12,360 --> 00:03:14,520
if anyone from my
school comes round.

71
00:03:15,080 --> 00:03:18,640
-SUE: Yeah.
-JAKE: Yeah, no, I'm at big school now.

72
00:03:18,720 --> 00:03:20,240
SUE: Well, good for you.

73
00:03:20,320 --> 00:03:22,080
Mm, yeah.

74
00:03:23,600 --> 00:03:25,720
-No, it's Jake.
-SUE: Yeah.

75
00:03:25,800 --> 00:03:26,800
KAREN: You kicked me.

76
00:03:26,880 --> 00:03:30,000
I'll email it later.
Yes, this evening.

77
00:03:31,040 --> 00:03:33,840
Yes, I'm sure you
will still be there.

78
00:03:33,920 --> 00:03:36,360
Yeah. Okay, bye.

79
00:03:37,520 --> 00:03:40,360
Wouldn't need to stay in the office,
till ten o'clock, if you had any friends,

80
00:03:40,440 --> 00:03:43,440
or a life or a chin.

81
00:03:43,520 --> 00:03:46,040
He wants to know
when Auntie Angela's back.

82
00:03:46,120 --> 00:03:47,600
Don't we all?

83
00:03:47,680 --> 00:03:49,520
KAREN: I don't like
being prodded so...

84
00:03:49,600 --> 00:03:53,800
Hi, Dad. No, no she hasn't seen fit
to tell us when she'll be dropping by.

85
00:03:54,000 --> 00:03:56,240
KAREN: You kicked me.
BEN: No, I didn't.

86
00:03:56,320 --> 00:03:59,520
No, I don't know when she's coming back.
KIDS CONTINUE TALKING

87
00:03:59,600 --> 00:04:00,560
KAREN: You started it.

88
00:04:00,680 --> 00:04:03,880
I'm sorry, Dad, I'll have
to ring you back later.

89
00:04:03,960 --> 00:04:07,320
Okay. Right. Karen and Ben,
now just stop it!

90
00:04:07,840 --> 00:04:09,640
SUE: Ben, stop, both of you.

91
00:04:09,720 --> 00:04:11,920
MOBILE PHONE BEEPING
SUE: Karen, stop!

92
00:04:17,640 --> 00:04:21,240
Ben, you did like it, well done,
and well done to you too, Deion.

93
00:04:21,320 --> 00:04:23,920
-KAREN: It was disgusting.
-You've done very well. Karen, eat up.

94
00:04:24,000 --> 00:04:26,440
-Don't like it.
-Who's Angela?

95
00:04:26,520 --> 00:04:28,320
Angela's our aunty.

96
00:04:28,400 --> 00:04:31,000
Mum's older sister,
she lives in America.

97
00:04:31,080 --> 00:04:35,600
Comes round every now and then,
then Mum turns all creepy and weird.

98
00:04:35,680 --> 00:04:37,600
I do not go creepy and weird.

99
00:04:37,680 --> 00:04:41,760
Every time she comes she has a different
colour hat, and a different boyfriend.

100
00:04:41,840 --> 00:04:43,360
This one's called Trent.

101
00:04:43,440 --> 00:04:45,360
I'm really looking
forward to meeting him.

102
00:04:45,440 --> 00:04:46,440
Sarcasm.

103
00:04:47,080 --> 00:04:47,960
SUE: What?

104
00:04:48,040 --> 00:04:50,480
Sarcasm, saying the opposite
of what you mean.

105
00:04:50,560 --> 00:04:51,880
-Just...
-PETE: Sorry I'm late.

106
00:04:51,960 --> 00:04:54,160
-What happened?
-Oh, meeting.

107
00:04:54,240 --> 00:04:57,360
-What about?
-Boring curriculum stuff.

108
00:04:57,440 --> 00:04:58,920
Oh, right.

109
00:05:00,120 --> 00:05:01,280
There you go.

110
00:05:02,600 --> 00:05:03,840
Thanks.

111
00:05:05,320 --> 00:05:06,480
No.

112
00:05:07,280 --> 00:05:08,800
SUE: Family dinner, remember.

113
00:05:09,600 --> 00:05:11,960
Oh, yeah. Of course.

114
00:05:12,040 --> 00:05:13,000
How was school?

115
00:05:13,080 --> 00:05:15,400
Five arrested, two pregnant, one shot.

116
00:05:15,480 --> 00:05:16,640
Not too bad.

117
00:05:16,720 --> 00:05:17,840
Hey?

118
00:05:17,920 --> 00:05:20,200
Not just today, in the summer holidays.

119
00:05:20,280 --> 00:05:21,200
Shot?

120
00:05:21,280 --> 00:05:22,680
It was only an air-rifle.

121
00:05:22,760 --> 00:05:24,560
And it was Thompson,
so he had it coming.

122
00:05:24,640 --> 00:05:27,880
He's limping around school
like he's Scarface, signing autographs.

123
00:05:28,680 --> 00:05:32,640
Oh, and a girl in 5J posted some bits
of a dead badger to the Prime Minister.

124
00:05:33,360 --> 00:05:36,160
What, to protest
against the badger cull?

125
00:05:36,240 --> 00:05:37,920
Probably 'cause she was bored.

126
00:05:38,480 --> 00:05:40,760
Still, I'm sure our new
Head will now introduce,

127
00:05:40,840 --> 00:05:44,040
saying not posting bits of dead badger
to Prime Minister's target.

128
00:05:44,120 --> 00:05:50,440
My dad put a dead rat in my bed
and said I wet it, but I hadn't.

129
00:05:51,080 --> 00:05:53,760
-This is Deion.
-Hi, Deion.

130
00:05:53,840 --> 00:05:56,920
He didn't put a dead
rat into your bed!

131
00:05:57,000 --> 00:05:59,160
DEION: He does things
when he's drunk.

132
00:05:59,240 --> 00:06:04,080
He throws bricks at me
and he fights policemen.

133
00:06:05,440 --> 00:06:10,080
-Nice tea, Ben's mum.
-That's... That's okay.

134
00:06:10,160 --> 00:06:11,840
We've finished, Mum.
Can we get down?

135
00:06:11,920 --> 00:06:13,600
-All right.
-Not till everyone's...

136
00:06:13,680 --> 00:06:15,320
-Okay.
-Not until...

137
00:06:15,400 --> 00:06:16,520
Go on then.

138
00:06:18,160 --> 00:06:19,960
SUE: Karen, I want you
to finish that.

139
00:06:20,040 --> 00:06:25,080
I don't like it and also it's
not in my special bowl.

140
00:06:25,160 --> 00:06:28,080
I'm not eating out of a thing
that's not my bowl.

141
00:06:28,160 --> 00:06:30,120
So, how was school?

142
00:06:31,280 --> 00:06:34,360
-Make any friends?
-It's the second day, Dad.

143
00:06:35,760 --> 00:06:37,280
Make any enemies?

144
00:06:37,920 --> 00:06:41,080
Try not to worry
about this bullying thing.

145
00:06:41,160 --> 00:06:42,840
There's no reason
he should be bullied.

146
00:06:42,920 --> 00:06:44,800
PETE: There's no reason
why I was bullied.

147
00:06:44,880 --> 00:06:47,080
You're dad said it was because
you were effeminate.

148
00:06:47,160 --> 00:06:50,160
Not effeminate, sensitive.

149
00:06:50,440 --> 00:06:53,960
And Jake's sensitive. They'd have him for
breakfast at my school.

150
00:06:54,040 --> 00:06:56,960
They'd have Mike Tyson
for breakfast at your school.

151
00:06:57,040 --> 00:07:03,400
Do I have to go to the school
that you go to, when I'm older?

152
00:07:03,640 --> 00:07:05,600
No, no, sweetheart.

153
00:07:05,680 --> 00:07:08,440
We'll commit fraud and say
you live at Granddad's.

154
00:07:08,520 --> 00:07:11,440
Why do you have to go
to the school that you go to?

155
00:07:11,520 --> 00:07:14,000
-What, to teach?
-Yeah.

156
00:07:14,400 --> 00:07:16,080
Mm, well...

157
00:07:16,280 --> 00:07:18,240
Is it 'cause you've been naughty?

158
00:07:18,320 --> 00:07:21,200
-No, I chose to do it.
-Why?

159
00:07:21,280 --> 00:07:24,360
Well, it was a long time ago
when Daddy was young,

160
00:07:24,960 --> 00:07:29,920
and he thought he could get quite rough
children to learn to love history.

161
00:07:31,240 --> 00:07:33,960
Daddy was wrong.
Now, go on, eat your peas.

162
00:07:34,040 --> 00:07:36,920
I'm not eating out of it,
if it's not my bowl.

163
00:07:37,000 --> 00:07:38,760
-What's that?
-What's what?

164
00:07:38,840 --> 00:07:40,560
What's that down there?

165
00:07:43,120 --> 00:07:45,120
SIGHS
Ben's dinner.

166
00:07:46,680 --> 00:07:48,280
Oh, he's good.

167
00:07:59,080 --> 00:08:00,520
Okay, here's the deal. Right?

168
00:08:00,600 --> 00:08:05,160
You eat half the burger, okay,
and all these vegetables.

169
00:08:05,680 --> 00:08:10,240
I'm only eating two
things of one like,

170
00:08:10,320 --> 00:08:12,960
one piece of broccoli
and another piece of broccoli.

171
00:08:13,040 --> 00:08:14,680
I'm not eating any
more than two.

172
00:08:14,760 --> 00:08:16,560
No, you've gotta
eat all these peas.

173
00:08:16,640 --> 00:08:21,240
I'm just eating like one
corn and another corn.

174
00:08:21,320 --> 00:08:24,720
No negotiation, right,
you're gonna eat all that food.

175
00:08:24,800 --> 00:08:26,320
Okay, that's it.

176
00:08:26,400 --> 00:08:28,400
No deal, you're eating everything.

177
00:08:29,160 --> 00:08:31,440
IN DEEP VOICE
Glory to Sparta!

178
00:08:38,640 --> 00:08:39,760
RINGING

179
00:08:39,840 --> 00:08:41,360
BOTH SCREAMING

180
00:08:44,160 --> 00:08:47,120
Okay, five spoonfuls.
Five spoonfuls.

181
00:08:47,200 --> 00:08:48,480
N-O, no.

182
00:08:48,560 --> 00:08:52,360
I'm not eating any
more than two.

183
00:08:52,640 --> 00:08:55,320
-Four, four mouthfuls.
-Nope, I'm not...

184
00:08:55,400 --> 00:08:57,080
That's two times two.
Come on, four.

185
00:08:57,160 --> 00:08:59,600
No, I'm just eating two things.

186
00:08:59,680 --> 00:09:02,160
-Three?
-One and a half.

187
00:09:02,240 --> 00:09:05,080
There are children
in Africa who are starving.

188
00:09:05,160 --> 00:09:07,080
They'd love to eat all this stuff,
wouldn't they?

189
00:09:07,160 --> 00:09:10,400
SIGHS Why don't you
just send it to them?

190
00:09:10,480 --> 00:09:13,360
Go buy an envelope and send it to them.

191
00:09:13,440 --> 00:09:15,920
You can't put it in an
envelope! It'll get crushed.

192
00:09:16,000 --> 00:09:17,560
You'd get sort of soup.

193
00:09:17,640 --> 00:09:23,120
Well, you could put each thing in some...
in some, like plastic bag,

194
00:09:23,200 --> 00:09:26,800
and put it in the thing,
and then send it.

195
00:09:26,880 --> 00:09:29,280
I'm not gonna put a burger in bubble wrap.

196
00:09:29,360 --> 00:09:31,120
Just eat this.

197
00:09:31,200 --> 00:09:32,880
THUMPING SOUNDS

198
00:09:32,960 --> 00:09:36,520
-What are they doing up there?
-Deion's mum should be here soon.

199
00:09:37,320 --> 00:09:39,280
Is she eating up?

200
00:09:39,360 --> 00:09:41,960
She's banging on about
how that's not her bowl.

201
00:09:42,040 --> 00:09:45,080
Well, it isn't her bowl, because
I dropped hers this morning,

202
00:09:45,160 --> 00:09:47,080
and I had to drive
all the way to Ikea,

203
00:09:47,160 --> 00:09:49,880
to get her one that was
identical, but it is identical.

204
00:09:49,960 --> 00:09:51,880
Then how does she know?

205
00:09:52,240 --> 00:09:55,520
I don't know.
She must have powers.

206
00:09:59,320 --> 00:10:01,960
-ls that Ben's bag?
-SUE: No, it's Deion's.

207
00:10:02,400 --> 00:10:03,480
Right.

208
00:10:03,560 --> 00:10:07,080
God, his writing's much better
than Ben's, and his pictures.

209
00:10:10,200 --> 00:10:13,360
And his maths! God, what is
wrong with that school?

210
00:10:14,800 --> 00:10:16,760
What do you make of him though?
He's a bit odd, isn't he?

211
00:10:16,840 --> 00:10:19,400
I mean, all that stuff about
the dead rat and the bricks.

212
00:10:19,480 --> 00:10:21,200
Just don't get involved.

213
00:10:21,280 --> 00:10:24,160
Kids take the tiniest thing
and blow it out of proportion.

214
00:10:24,240 --> 00:10:28,360
Daddy, I've had one spoonful,
can I get down?

215
00:10:28,440 --> 00:10:29,800
Yeah, all right.

216
00:10:29,880 --> 00:10:32,720
KAREN: Can someone get
Pusscat from the car?

217
00:10:32,800 --> 00:10:35,000
-Okay.
-MOBILE PHONE RINGS

218
00:10:35,400 --> 00:10:38,040
Oh, Veronica, you...

219
00:10:38,120 --> 00:10:39,560
Hello.

220
00:10:41,200 --> 00:10:42,640
Mm-hmm.

221
00:10:42,720 --> 00:10:44,200
MOOING

222
00:10:44,280 --> 00:10:46,720
Hey, no, you're not
having a biscuit.

223
00:10:46,800 --> 00:10:48,760
Why not? Mum said
I could have one.

224
00:10:48,840 --> 00:10:51,320
That was before you hid all your
tea over there, wasn't it?

225
00:10:51,400 --> 00:10:53,520
I didn't hide all
my tea over there.

226
00:10:53,600 --> 00:10:55,800
-So who did hide your tea over there?
-Deion.

227
00:10:55,880 --> 00:10:59,200
You're not exactly famous
for telling the truth, are you, Ben?

228
00:10:59,480 --> 00:11:03,840
Look at this.
No fibs for a whole week.

229
00:11:03,920 --> 00:11:06,080
One whole week.

230
00:11:06,160 --> 00:11:07,760
SUE: Bloody Veronica!

231
00:11:08,160 --> 00:11:10,400
She hates anyone
who's had children.

232
00:11:10,480 --> 00:11:12,240
She looks on it as slacking.

233
00:11:12,320 --> 00:11:14,840
Ben's been showing me his chart,
he's very proud of it.

234
00:11:19,280 --> 00:11:21,640
He's been putting his own
stars on again, hasn't he?

235
00:11:22,440 --> 00:11:24,000
I put them up there.

236
00:11:24,080 --> 00:11:29,680
I saw him make a tower to get the stickers
and put them on the chart,

237
00:11:29,760 --> 00:11:35,920
and, um, also I saw him cut
a centipede in two with scissors.

238
00:11:36,000 --> 00:11:38,520
It's really not nice to tell
tales on your brother.

239
00:11:40,960 --> 00:11:44,760
Was it Ben who threw quiche
on Tim and Suki's conservatory roof?

240
00:11:44,840 --> 00:11:46,160
Yes.

241
00:11:46,240 --> 00:11:48,480
-And was it Ben who buried...
-Pete!

242
00:11:48,560 --> 00:11:50,000
Can I have a biscuit?

243
00:11:51,640 --> 00:11:55,760
Yes, but it's not a reward,
it's, erm...

244
00:11:55,840 --> 00:11:58,480
-It's a biscuit.
-Thank you.

245
00:11:58,680 --> 00:12:02,080
He swore blind
the quiche thing wasn't him.

246
00:12:02,160 --> 00:12:05,080
This is getting even
more out of control.

247
00:12:05,160 --> 00:12:07,000
What does Dr Internet say?

248
00:12:07,560 --> 00:12:10,320
Why do you always assume
that I've been on the...

249
00:12:11,520 --> 00:12:15,880
Okay, well, there's this woman
in New Zealand and she's doing this blog,

250
00:12:15,960 --> 00:12:18,360
and she's got a son
who's a bit like Ben.

251
00:12:18,440 --> 00:12:20,680
It's fairly reassuring.

252
00:12:20,960 --> 00:12:23,800
-Because?
-Because he's slightly worse than Ben.

253
00:12:25,000 --> 00:12:26,000
Oh, well, that's all right then.

254
00:12:26,080 --> 00:12:29,200
So, of the five billion people on earth,
we know one lies more than Ben.

255
00:12:29,280 --> 00:12:32,480
Do you know, in some ways,
l would rather my child was best.

256
00:12:42,520 --> 00:12:44,920
-Another one from Angela?
-Yeah, a postcard.

257
00:12:45,000 --> 00:12:47,000
Her favourite method
of communication.

258
00:12:47,080 --> 00:12:49,200
It says she'll be passing
through in a couple of days,

259
00:12:49,280 --> 00:12:51,680
with the emphasis
on passing through.

260
00:12:51,760 --> 00:12:53,760
It'll be the usual
one-day royal visit

261
00:12:53,840 --> 00:12:56,280
where she shows off
her sun tan,

262
00:12:56,480 --> 00:12:59,000
and tells me that what I'm
cooking is full of poison.

263
00:12:59,080 --> 00:13:01,880
And then she'll piss off
and Dad won't even get a...

264
00:13:01,960 --> 00:13:04,360
Oh. Bin night.

265
00:13:12,760 --> 00:13:15,080
BEN: I'm in big trouble
when you leave.

266
00:13:15,160 --> 00:13:17,560
This toilet roll's gonna
go in a minute.

267
00:13:17,640 --> 00:13:19,640
What have you been doing?

268
00:13:19,720 --> 00:13:21,720
Look, Mummy, it's a mummy.

269
00:13:23,200 --> 00:13:24,520
Deion, your mummy's gonna...

270
00:13:24,600 --> 00:13:26,600
Your real mummy's
gonna be here in a minute.

271
00:13:26,680 --> 00:13:28,280
Look, take your loo roll and go

272
00:13:28,360 --> 00:13:31,320
and try and get some of that
off before she comes.

273
00:13:31,400 --> 00:13:33,600
SUE: Ben, I need to have
a chat with you.

274
00:13:34,080 --> 00:13:36,080
Ben, listen to me.

275
00:13:37,560 --> 00:13:39,560
-I didn't do it.
-What?

276
00:13:39,640 --> 00:13:42,880
The, um, broken
toilet roll holder.

277
00:13:44,000 --> 00:13:45,440
-Ben?
-Yeah?

278
00:13:45,520 --> 00:13:50,320
Have you ever heard of the story
called The Boy Who Cried Wolf?

279
00:13:50,400 --> 00:13:55,440
Yes, it's about a boy
who has some sheep

280
00:13:55,520 --> 00:13:58,520
-and he says that a wolf
is attacking his sheep.
-Yes.

281
00:13:58,600 --> 00:14:00,720
Nobody believes him
and he gets munched up.

282
00:14:00,800 --> 00:14:03,960
-Yeah, and it's a story all about...
-About what?

283
00:14:04,040 --> 00:14:08,040
If you're gonna speak to me about lying,
there are no wolves around here.

284
00:14:08,800 --> 00:14:10,800
We're in London, don't forget.

285
00:14:11,960 --> 00:14:13,560
Yeah, the reason
I'm talking about...

286
00:14:13,640 --> 00:14:17,520
-You get wolves in Scotland.
-Yeah, thanks, Deion.

287
00:14:18,520 --> 00:14:22,640
Ben, no one will like you
if you lie, 'cause you tell...

288
00:14:22,720 --> 00:14:24,040
GUN BLEEPS

289
00:14:24,120 --> 00:14:27,320
Stop doing that while I'm talking.
In fact, give it to me.

290
00:14:27,400 --> 00:14:31,960
Look, listen to me.
Listen, you must not lie.

291
00:14:32,040 --> 00:14:33,400
What I do is sarcasm.

292
00:14:33,480 --> 00:14:35,680
Sarcasm is saying
the opposite of what you mean.

293
00:14:35,760 --> 00:14:38,560
-That's what Dad said.
-No, what you do...

294
00:14:38,640 --> 00:14:40,480
GUN BLEEPS

295
00:14:40,720 --> 00:14:43,600
What you do is, you tell lies.

296
00:14:43,680 --> 00:14:44,640
No, I don't.

297
00:14:44,720 --> 00:14:47,040
The upshot is, you tell lies,

298
00:14:47,480 --> 00:14:51,000
and what you're saying is,
is if you do something like you say,

299
00:14:51,080 --> 00:14:53,760
no, I didn't throw quiche
onto the conservatory roof,

300
00:14:53,840 --> 00:14:56,160
and really, you did throw quiche
onto the conservatory roof.

301
00:14:56,240 --> 00:14:58,200
You're saying that's
sarcasm, are you?

302
00:14:58,600 --> 00:15:00,800
-Yep.
-Oh, brilliant!

303
00:15:01,120 --> 00:15:03,520
-Sarcasm.
-Yeah, that's sarcasm.

304
00:15:04,400 --> 00:15:06,240
BEN: Deion, where are you?

305
00:15:06,320 --> 00:15:09,320
SUE: Ben, I haven't finished yet.
Can you come back here, please?

306
00:15:09,400 --> 00:15:12,680
Deion, I have to speak
to Ben for a little bit longer.

307
00:15:12,760 --> 00:15:15,320
Ben, can you please come back here?

308
00:15:17,760 --> 00:15:21,040
It's tough starting
secondary school, eh, Jake?

309
00:15:21,120 --> 00:15:22,720
I was, erm...

310
00:15:23,920 --> 00:15:26,200
I was thinking about when
I started secondary school.

311
00:15:26,920 --> 00:15:29,680
There were a couple of boys
who picked on me.

312
00:15:29,760 --> 00:15:33,000
-Yeah, 'cause you were effeminate.
-No, not because I was...

313
00:15:34,120 --> 00:15:38,080
Dad, what's all this
about you being a racist?

314
00:15:38,520 --> 00:15:40,960
What?
Where did you hear that?

315
00:15:41,840 --> 00:15:46,640
Well, Susan Bentley's brother
goes to your school,

316
00:15:46,720 --> 00:15:50,320
and he reckons you're in trouble
for being a racist or something.

317
00:15:50,400 --> 00:15:54,800
Look, some stupid parent
has made some stupid complaint,

318
00:15:54,880 --> 00:15:58,880
but that absolutely does not
make me a racist, okay, Jake?

319
00:15:59,200 --> 00:16:05,360
Okay. I mean, you do shout
at Ainsley Harriott a lot

320
00:16:05,440 --> 00:16:06,680
when he's on the TV.

321
00:16:06,760 --> 00:16:10,400
Everyone does that.
I shout at Vanessa Feltz,

322
00:16:10,480 --> 00:16:12,520
Trinny and Susannah,

323
00:16:13,320 --> 00:16:15,400
Davina McCall,

324
00:16:16,240 --> 00:16:17,640
Huw Edwards.

325
00:16:17,720 --> 00:16:19,280
It does not make me a racist.

326
00:16:19,360 --> 00:16:22,960
If anyone is a racist, it is the parent
who is bringing this stupid complaint.

327
00:16:23,040 --> 00:16:25,160
Jake, do you think you ought to go
and finish your homework.

328
00:16:25,280 --> 00:16:27,120
-Do I have to?
-SUE: Mm-hmm.

329
00:16:31,520 --> 00:16:33,280
What racist complaint?

330
00:16:35,120 --> 00:16:38,080
-It was that kid, Kamal again.
-The fat Turkish kid?

331
00:16:38,160 --> 00:16:41,640
Yeah. He was stuffing his face,
as per usual, in lessons,

332
00:16:41,720 --> 00:16:46,400
munching his way through a bag of crisps,
and I said to him, purely frivolously,

333
00:16:46,840 --> 00:16:50,160
"You could do with Ramadan lasting
all year round, couldn't you Kamal"?

334
00:16:50,840 --> 00:16:51,920
It was quite witty, really.

335
00:16:52,000 --> 00:16:56,680
And now his dad has said that
I singled him out because of his religion,

336
00:16:56,760 --> 00:16:59,680
and apparently I've traumatised
him about his weight,

337
00:16:59,760 --> 00:17:04,480
which is down to a glandular
disorder, it seems,

338
00:17:04,560 --> 00:17:08,120
which presumably compels him
to thrust pies down his throat,

339
00:17:08,440 --> 00:17:10,200
and that was it.

340
00:17:12,000 --> 00:17:14,520
The governors won't take it seriously.

341
00:17:15,040 --> 00:17:16,400
The governors?

342
00:17:16,520 --> 00:17:18,560
He wrote to the LEA
so it has to go to the governors,

343
00:17:18,640 --> 00:17:20,560
but they'll just kick it
into the long grass.

344
00:17:20,640 --> 00:17:23,200
I can't believe that you were
tying to keep this quiet.

345
00:17:24,040 --> 00:17:25,680
I was gonna tell you
when it was over.

346
00:17:25,760 --> 00:17:29,880
Brilliant! So now I've got two
members of my family lying to me!

347
00:17:29,960 --> 00:17:31,120
I didn't want to worry you.

348
00:17:31,200 --> 00:17:32,320
THUDDING NOISE

349
00:17:32,400 --> 00:17:34,440
BEN SCREAMS

350
00:17:35,000 --> 00:17:37,120
We should be sharing these
things, Pete.

351
00:17:37,200 --> 00:17:38,840
I know. I know, you're right.

352
00:17:41,720 --> 00:17:42,800
Um...

353
00:17:44,920 --> 00:17:46,000
What?

354
00:17:46,200 --> 00:17:52,000
There was an incident that was
vaguely similar last year.

355
00:17:52,560 --> 00:17:53,720
How similar?

356
00:17:53,800 --> 00:17:57,440
Well, similar in that it was
another baseless complaint,

357
00:17:59,120 --> 00:18:00,360
and, er, it went to the governors.

358
00:18:00,480 --> 00:18:01,520
SIGHS

359
00:18:01,600 --> 00:18:04,720
I mean, you just can't
make jokes these days.

360
00:18:04,800 --> 00:18:07,400
I mean, that joke
had no racial aspect.

361
00:18:07,480 --> 00:18:10,080
It was just
an unfortunate coincidence

362
00:18:10,160 --> 00:18:11,720
that she was pregnant.

363
00:18:13,320 --> 00:18:15,000
Now let me get this straight.

364
00:18:15,680 --> 00:18:18,480
The school is investigating
whether you are racist.

365
00:18:18,560 --> 00:18:20,200
But I am not a racist!

366
00:18:20,280 --> 00:18:23,440
I am not racially prejudiced
in any shape or form.

367
00:18:24,840 --> 00:18:26,320
Would you like
some juice, Deion?

368
00:18:27,760 --> 00:18:29,760
WHIRRING

369
00:18:33,560 --> 00:18:36,520
KAREN: Do you want to play?
Do you want a toy?

370
00:18:37,560 --> 00:18:38,920
Okay, I'll have that one.

371
00:18:39,840 --> 00:18:42,400
I'm worried about bullying.

372
00:18:42,480 --> 00:18:44,160
Why are you worried
about bullying?

373
00:18:44,240 --> 00:18:45,840
I pushed Macy.

374
00:18:46,200 --> 00:18:47,680
Oh, you're worried you're a bully?

375
00:18:48,120 --> 00:18:50,200
How many times
did you push Macy?

376
00:18:50,280 --> 00:18:52,600
-Once.
-Then what happened?

377
00:18:52,680 --> 00:18:57,160
She pushed me back, then we
played a game called Spy Dudes.

378
00:18:57,240 --> 00:18:58,480
What's Spy Dudes?

379
00:18:58,560 --> 00:19:04,600
It's where you have to follow a teacher
around, and without them noticing,

380
00:19:04,680 --> 00:19:09,920
and, erm, find out
things about their life.

381
00:19:11,240 --> 00:19:12,880
Did you find anything out?

382
00:19:12,960 --> 00:19:18,160
Mm. I found out that one
of the teacher's husband had ga...

383
00:19:19,960 --> 00:19:21,000
gout.

384
00:19:21,080 --> 00:19:22,360
What's gout?

385
00:19:22,640 --> 00:19:24,680
I'm not that sure.

386
00:19:25,160 --> 00:19:29,560
Look, when the last complaint flared
up, it was when your mum had died

387
00:19:29,640 --> 00:19:31,160
and I thought you had
enough on your plate.

388
00:19:31,240 --> 00:19:33,000
But after that,
you could've told me then.

389
00:19:33,080 --> 00:19:36,000
Yeah, but after that you got involved
in that argument with Angela.

390
00:19:36,080 --> 00:19:38,480
TOY WHIRRING

391
00:19:38,720 --> 00:19:41,680
Ben! We're tying to have a...

392
00:19:43,200 --> 00:19:44,560
BEN: Sorry.

393
00:19:44,640 --> 00:19:47,520
Hey, Deion, I found
something really cool.

394
00:19:47,600 --> 00:19:49,320
You know, she left you
to sort out the will,

395
00:19:49,400 --> 00:19:51,920
and she wanted that
second funeral.

396
00:19:52,000 --> 00:19:54,520
God, yeah, when she was going
through her Druid phase.

397
00:19:54,600 --> 00:19:56,920
I'm surprised she didn't just
wanna dig Mum up,

398
00:19:57,000 --> 00:19:59,920
and leave her on the mountain tops
for the vultures to eat.

399
00:20:02,160 --> 00:20:06,640
But this whole Kamal racist
complaint thing is absurd.

400
00:20:06,720 --> 00:20:08,120
Yeah, nothing'll come of it.

401
00:20:08,200 --> 00:20:10,120
-No, it'll just...
-Fizzle out.

402
00:20:10,200 --> 00:20:12,840
-It will just blow over.
-Of course it will.

403
00:20:13,840 --> 00:20:18,800
JAKE: Karen, look what I found
in the bin. It's your bowl.

404
00:20:18,880 --> 00:20:20,600
-No, it's not!
-PETE: Ben!

405
00:20:20,680 --> 00:20:22,200
KAREN: What is it?
SUE: Nothing.

406
00:20:22,280 --> 00:20:24,800
Jake, can you try not
to leave the lights on?

407
00:20:24,880 --> 00:20:26,880
You're the one that's worried
by global warming.

408
00:20:26,960 --> 00:20:30,200
It's not global warming
you want to worry about.

409
00:20:30,280 --> 00:20:32,200
It's the carbon bloom.

410
00:20:32,280 --> 00:20:33,600
Carbon bloom?

411
00:20:33,680 --> 00:20:37,560
When the Tundra melts and all the peat
releases carbon dioxide trapped in it,

412
00:20:37,640 --> 00:20:39,560
then it goes into
the earth's atmosphere,

413
00:20:39,640 --> 00:20:44,160
and the temperature shoots up
by about ten degrees in a couple of days.

414
00:20:44,240 --> 00:20:46,800
Right. And then what happens?

415
00:20:46,880 --> 00:20:48,240
JAKE: Everyone dies.

416
00:20:49,200 --> 00:20:50,360
Excellent!

417
00:20:50,920 --> 00:20:54,040
And in the meantime,
I'll turn the bloody lights out.

418
00:20:57,600 --> 00:21:00,680
-What's this?
-Um, Karen's birthday list.

419
00:21:00,760 --> 00:21:03,760
Hama beads, Blu-tack, donkey.

420
00:21:03,840 --> 00:21:05,160
MOOING

421
00:21:05,480 --> 00:21:07,960
Oh, hi, Deion.
Your mum'll be here soon.

422
00:21:08,040 --> 00:21:10,000
It won't be Mum,
she's in prison.

423
00:21:10,080 --> 00:21:11,440
SUE: She's in prison?

424
00:21:11,800 --> 00:21:14,040
I saw her
in the playground last week.

425
00:21:14,120 --> 00:21:17,400
She's in prison
for tying to kill the headmaster.

426
00:21:17,480 --> 00:21:19,080
Oh, right, okay.

427
00:21:19,160 --> 00:21:21,160
And how did she do that exactly?

428
00:21:21,240 --> 00:21:23,560
With a deadly ray gun.

429
00:21:23,640 --> 00:21:26,840
Well, let's hope that she'll escape
from prison and pick you up really soon.

430
00:21:26,920 --> 00:21:28,760
BEN: Deion, where are you?

431
00:21:28,840 --> 00:21:31,200
Ah, well, that all
makes sense, doesn't it?

432
00:21:31,280 --> 00:21:32,240
What?

433
00:21:32,320 --> 00:21:35,040
It's where it's all coming from,
the lying.

434
00:21:35,120 --> 00:21:37,280
Because Ben really
looks up to Deion.

435
00:21:37,360 --> 00:21:39,000
Well, there are classes I suppose,

436
00:21:39,080 --> 00:21:41,440
where there's a culture of lying,
especially amongst boys.

437
00:21:41,520 --> 00:21:43,520
At least we haven't
raised a sociopath.

438
00:21:43,600 --> 00:21:46,080
I thought when we had a third
child it'd get easier.

439
00:21:46,160 --> 00:21:48,200
I thought I'd get better
at the Dad thing.

440
00:21:48,600 --> 00:21:50,280
I think that we worry too much.

441
00:21:50,840 --> 00:21:53,800
It's important not to fall
into the trap of over-parenting.

442
00:21:54,520 --> 00:21:57,600
-More Internet?
-No, this book.

443
00:21:57,680 --> 00:21:58,840
A book?

444
00:21:58,920 --> 00:22:01,240
Do you think we over-parent
or do we under-parent?

445
00:22:02,400 --> 00:22:03,880
Both, I think.

446
00:22:04,560 --> 00:22:05,560
Often at the same time.

447
00:22:05,640 --> 00:22:06,560
DOORBELL RINGS

448
00:22:06,640 --> 00:22:08,840
Ah, good, Deion's mum.

449
00:22:09,640 --> 00:22:13,880
I can't wait to get them all
into bed and then just collapse.

450
00:22:17,280 --> 00:22:18,640
Trick or treat?

451
00:22:19,120 --> 00:22:20,560
-What?
-Trick or treat?

452
00:22:21,520 --> 00:22:23,240
But it's September!

453
00:22:23,520 --> 00:22:26,040
Halloween isn't till
the end of October.

454
00:22:26,120 --> 00:22:28,120
Yeah, but we're away
then, so, you know...

455
00:22:28,200 --> 00:22:30,320
Okay, Deion, did you bring
anything with you?

456
00:22:30,400 --> 00:22:32,840
-SUE: How old are you two?
-Coat, book, bag? Shoes?

457
00:22:33,080 --> 00:22:35,120
DEION: Are those my shoes?
PETE: No, those are my shoes.

458
00:22:35,200 --> 00:22:37,240
Let's pop you up on here.

459
00:22:37,320 --> 00:22:38,880
Where's the other shoe?

460
00:22:38,960 --> 00:22:40,800
-Dad?
-PETE: Yes, Ben?

461
00:22:40,880 --> 00:22:44,640
How many buckets of water
could fill an elephant?

462
00:22:44,720 --> 00:22:46,200
I don't really know, Ben.

463
00:22:46,280 --> 00:22:50,640
If it was like one that you could
open the back and pour water in,

464
00:22:50,720 --> 00:22:52,320
how long would it take?

465
00:22:52,400 --> 00:22:56,440
Would it take longer
with custard?

466
00:22:56,520 --> 00:22:59,480
Okay, that's it, off we go.
Are you okay, Deion?

467
00:22:59,560 --> 00:23:01,200
But you haven't
answered my question.

468
00:23:01,280 --> 00:23:03,320
-What was your question?
-How many buckets of water

469
00:23:03,400 --> 00:23:05,640
would it take to fill an elephant?

470
00:23:06,800 --> 00:23:09,960
-4,615.
-How long would that take?

471
00:23:10,600 --> 00:23:12,880
-Seven hours, 22 minutes.
-Are you sure?

472
00:23:12,960 --> 00:23:14,680
Could be quicker if
you use a hose.

473
00:23:14,760 --> 00:23:15,960
SUE: False alarm.

474
00:23:16,400 --> 00:23:18,200
Trick or treaters.

475
00:23:18,280 --> 00:23:19,800
PETE: What, in September?

476
00:23:20,080 --> 00:23:22,280
God, I hate all that
American stuff.

477
00:23:22,360 --> 00:23:24,880
God, so do l.
It's like when Angela comes back

478
00:23:24,960 --> 00:23:27,320
with all that sidewalk and cookie crap.

479
00:23:27,400 --> 00:23:29,080
I mean, she's English!

480
00:23:29,160 --> 00:23:32,080
No, no, sorry, she's
a citizen of the world.

481
00:23:32,160 --> 00:23:34,120
-Yeah, but that's only...
-I know what's gonna happen.

482
00:23:34,200 --> 00:23:37,800
She's gonna drop by, she's gonna give Dad
half an hour of her precious time,

483
00:23:37,880 --> 00:23:41,000
and then she's gonna bugger off
to find herself. Again.

484
00:23:41,880 --> 00:23:42,840
I've been...

485
00:23:42,960 --> 00:23:44,880
Can you stop going on
about bloody Angela?

486
00:23:47,000 --> 00:23:50,120
Look, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to snap,
it's just when you go on Angela,

487
00:23:50,200 --> 00:23:52,440
that's quite a lot of the day gone.

488
00:23:52,640 --> 00:23:54,400
PHONE RINGS

489
00:23:59,440 --> 00:24:00,720
Hello?

490
00:24:00,800 --> 00:24:02,680
Oh, hi. Oh, no, okay.

491
00:24:02,760 --> 00:24:04,240
I'll bring him out.

492
00:24:04,720 --> 00:24:06,200
No, no, that's fine.

493
00:24:07,120 --> 00:24:08,920
It's your mum, she can't park.

494
00:24:09,000 --> 00:24:10,840
She's probably
on the run from the police.

495
00:24:10,920 --> 00:24:13,720
-The police thing isn't true.
-Really?

496
00:24:13,800 --> 00:24:17,600
And my dad throwing
the brick thing isn't true.

497
00:24:18,160 --> 00:24:19,080
Isn't it?

498
00:24:19,160 --> 00:24:21,600
Ben told me to say that stuff.

499
00:24:21,680 --> 00:24:23,360
SIGHS

500
00:24:23,440 --> 00:24:27,560
Bye-bye, Ben's mum.
Thank you for having me.

501
00:24:27,640 --> 00:24:29,480
SUE: Have you got everything?

502
00:24:31,120 --> 00:24:34,400
Mum, can you get Pusscat
from the car?

503
00:24:37,440 --> 00:24:40,160
Did Mummy put you
on the naughty step?

504
00:24:40,240 --> 00:24:42,760
-Yes, that's right.
-What did you do?

505
00:24:42,840 --> 00:24:45,160
I told her not to
go on about something.

506
00:24:45,680 --> 00:24:47,120
Mm.

507
00:24:47,200 --> 00:24:51,960
You're not allowed to leave
the naughty step until Mummy says.

508
00:24:52,040 --> 00:24:54,320
I have clearance
from the parole board.

509
00:24:56,920 --> 00:25:00,160
"Ben told me to say that stuff."

510
00:25:00,840 --> 00:25:02,120
I know.

511
00:25:02,760 --> 00:25:04,600
I'll tell you something else,

512
00:25:05,200 --> 00:25:07,160
Pusscat isn't in the car.

513
00:25:07,600 --> 00:25:09,360
Oh, God!

514
00:25:09,440 --> 00:25:12,720
I had to nip out to Boots
and Karen had Pusscat,

515
00:25:12,800 --> 00:25:14,320
but I think she must've
dropped her...

516
00:25:14,400 --> 00:25:17,440
Then, go to Boots, go,
Boots, now!

517
00:25:17,520 --> 00:25:20,320
But it's closed. We're just
gonna have to bluff like mad.

518
00:25:21,000 --> 00:25:22,400
She's in the car

519
00:25:23,280 --> 00:25:24,240
and we've lost the car keys.

520
00:25:24,360 --> 00:25:25,880
-That's good.
-DOORBELL RINGS

521
00:25:25,960 --> 00:25:28,320
Oh, Deion must've left
something behind.

522
00:25:32,160 --> 00:25:33,280
Surprise!

523
00:25:34,320 --> 00:25:36,760
Too right it's a surprise.
Why didn't you ring?

524
00:25:36,840 --> 00:25:39,520
Oh God, here we go, 'cause then
it wouldn't be a surprise, would it?

525
00:25:40,160 --> 00:25:43,480
Hey, honey!
Oh, how are you?

526
00:25:44,680 --> 00:25:46,880
Guys, where are you,
it's Auntie Angela!

527
00:25:46,960 --> 00:25:49,080
It's their bedtime,
try not to get them...

528
00:25:49,160 --> 00:25:50,240
She's got presents!

529
00:25:50,320 --> 00:25:51,640
Excited.

530
00:25:51,720 --> 00:25:54,920
Where are you all?
Who loves Auntie Angela?

531
00:25:55,000 --> 00:25:58,160
KAREN: Me, me, me,
me, me, me me!

532
00:25:58,520 --> 00:25:59,840
Have you got a bad back?

533
00:25:59,920 --> 00:26:02,840
I know this wonderful Reiki guy.
He's a friend of Trent.

534
00:26:02,920 --> 00:26:05,320
I'll give you his number.
There you go.

535
00:26:05,400 --> 00:26:09,160
-Oh.
-And this is for Ben.

536
00:26:09,760 --> 00:26:13,120
They're seeds and you can make
pictures with them.

537
00:26:14,480 --> 00:26:16,080
They're from Bulgaria.

538
00:26:17,400 --> 00:26:18,600
Say thank you, Ben.

539
00:26:18,720 --> 00:26:20,960
Oh, no, that's cool. You don't have
to bother with all that stuff with me.

540
00:26:21,040 --> 00:26:25,360
Well, in this house, you do have to bother
with all that stuff though.

541
00:26:25,560 --> 00:26:28,120
-Ben?
-They're seeds!

542
00:26:28,200 --> 00:26:31,760
Yes, you have to say thank you
for presents, even if they're seeds.

543
00:26:31,840 --> 00:26:34,200
-Don't you?
-Yeah, for all presents.

544
00:26:34,760 --> 00:26:35,880
Say thank you.

545
00:26:35,960 --> 00:26:37,120
Thank you.

546
00:26:37,200 --> 00:26:40,280
Now, Jake, this is for you.

547
00:26:40,360 --> 00:26:41,800
Thank you.

548
00:26:41,880 --> 00:26:44,480
And, erm, Karen,
what've I got for you?

549
00:26:44,560 --> 00:26:49,200
Look, it's a dream catcher.
Isn't it beautiful?

550
00:26:49,280 --> 00:26:51,520
It's made
by the Native Americans,

551
00:26:51,600 --> 00:26:54,360
and it catches your dreams
and keeps them safe forever.

552
00:26:54,440 --> 00:26:57,880
I had a dream about weasels
eating me last night,

553
00:26:57,960 --> 00:26:59,960
and I don't
want that one again.

554
00:27:00,040 --> 00:27:03,400
Well, no, it wouldn't keep a dream
like that, it only keeps the nice ones.

555
00:27:04,320 --> 00:27:06,920
How does it know which ones
are the good dreams

556
00:27:07,000 --> 00:27:08,680
and which ones
are the bad dreams?

557
00:27:08,760 --> 00:27:10,640
That's a very, very good question.

558
00:27:10,720 --> 00:27:12,680
It knows which are the good dreams

559
00:27:12,760 --> 00:27:15,000
'cause it can see you
smiling in your sleep.

560
00:27:15,080 --> 00:27:19,120
What if you're smiling,
but it's a bad dream?

561
00:27:20,280 --> 00:27:21,600
Erm...

562
00:27:22,400 --> 00:27:24,880
And it catches that one
and you have it again?

563
00:27:26,080 --> 00:27:27,520
It's more magical than that.

564
00:27:27,600 --> 00:27:29,200
-How does it...
-Say thank you, Karen.

565
00:27:29,280 --> 00:27:30,720
Thank you.

566
00:27:32,080 --> 00:27:33,520
So, nice to see you.

567
00:27:33,600 --> 00:27:36,760
Yeah, right, well,
I'll go and make you a bed up.

568
00:27:36,840 --> 00:27:38,160
Oh, I'm not staying.

569
00:27:39,960 --> 00:27:41,840
No, of course you're not staying.

570
00:27:42,560 --> 00:27:47,000
Dad has been ringing every day for a week
to find out when you're coming,

571
00:27:47,080 --> 00:27:49,800
and you know how anxious
he gets now with his...

572
00:27:50,440 --> 00:27:52,360
And you're just
gonna drop in,

573
00:27:52,440 --> 00:27:56,600
say hello, goodbye and run away again
as per usual, it's just not...

574
00:27:56,680 --> 00:27:58,640
I'm staying with Dad.

575
00:28:00,280 --> 00:28:02,880
-Pardon?
-I'm gonna stay with Dad.

576
00:28:03,680 --> 00:28:06,040
I've left the States
for good to stay with him.

577
00:28:06,120 --> 00:28:09,840
I did a lot of thinking, while I was on
holiday, and you're right, it's my turn.

578
00:28:09,920 --> 00:28:11,720
And Dad's not gonna live forever.

579
00:28:12,120 --> 00:28:13,880
I want to spend some
time with him.

580
00:28:14,640 --> 00:28:16,040
Well, that's great.

581
00:28:16,720 --> 00:28:17,920
Thank you.

582
00:28:18,400 --> 00:28:19,560
Isn't it?

583
00:28:20,160 --> 00:28:22,160
Yeah, it, that...

584
00:28:22,720 --> 00:28:23,840
That really is great.

585
00:28:24,240 --> 00:28:25,600
To Angela.

586
00:28:26,800 --> 00:28:28,240
To Angela.

587
00:28:33,680 --> 00:28:35,520
With me staying there,
I can help him beat this thing.

588
00:28:35,600 --> 00:28:37,880
First time you look after him
and you lose him?

589
00:28:37,960 --> 00:28:38,880
BEN: Stranger!

590
00:28:38,960 --> 00:28:40,440
-I'm not a stranger. I'm his dad.
-Stranger!

591
00:28:40,520 --> 00:28:43,600
Don't talk to any journalists,
under any circumstances.