The Curious Case of Nox

>be nox
>you're walking down your street and taking a walk as always
>you can't get much exercise, so you decided a couple weeks back to walk as much as you could
>this isn't no gym workout, but in your opinion this still works
>while taking your walks, you've seen some wacky shit
>you always thought your street was full of normalfags, but in reality it was quite the opposite
>you had a horsefucker living across the street, you had some weeaboos spread about the street, and you always pass by a group of cosplaying homestuck fans sitting indian-style on some guy's lawn
>every once in a while they ask if you want to join them
>you prompt them with your middle finger and tell them to blow it
>works everytime.
>this day was different, however
>walking past the house, you noticed that no faggots were sitting on the lawn this time around
>in fact, thinking about it now, you can't see anyone out and about
>thinking nothing of it, you continue to walk past the house
>that is, until a hand grabs you from a nearby bush
>"What are you doing, man!?"
"WHAT THE FUCK? GET YOUR HANDS OFF ME!"
>"No, man!"
"LAY OFF!"
>you start to push and pull, but what was now seen as the cosplaying homestuck fan retains his grip on your arms as you pull him out of the bush
>"It's not safe!"
"YES IT IS! YOU'RE JUST A NERD WHO DRESSES UP ALL DAY, WHAT DO YOU KNOW?"
>"He's here."
>the faggot instantly becomes deadpan and looks around the vicinity, incase anyone heard him
"He? Kid, stop pretending for like, two seconds, and let me fucking walk."
>"No, you don't understand."
"Oh yeah, how? Enlighten me, you fucking genius."
>"This guy, you see, his house recently burned down. He moved into the house right over here a couple days ago."
>the kid points to a house that was further down the block
"Uh, cool? Can I finish my walk please?"
>"No, you don't get it. He's horrible. He does horrible things."
"If it's anything like what you guys do, I'm sure it's just awful."
>"No, no. Man, why can't you listen for two seconds without being a smartass? He might hear us and come out!"
>being a noxxy smartass like you are, you prepare your vocal chords for the best wailing this side of the planet has ever seen
"RAAAAPPPPEE!"
>the echo sounds throughout the entire city, and some confused folk peer out of their windows to see who was getting rut this time
>to their dissapointment no one was getting fucked
>it was only nox
>being a smartass
>"DUDE! WHAT THE FUCK?-"
>suddenly some rumbling of the earth is felt
>the ground below you starts shaking
>"L-Look what you've done, Nox..."
"Wait how do you even know my name?"
>"Shh. Get in the house. Now."
"With you faggots? N-"
>"NOW."
>woah, this nerd got really angry
>the earth continues to rumble and shake
"Fine. I'll play with you and your gaylord friends."
>he lets go of your arm and motions for you to follow him into the house
>the shaking intensifies as you make a spot by his front window to look outside
>"There he is. Look."
>the nerd points at the house he referred to earlier
>what do you know? the door was opening
>shingles started falling off roofs and car alarms started going off as loud thuds starting to become deafening
>smoke arose outside the door as a figure stepped outside
"What the fu-"
>suddenly, you came to a realization
>you knew who this was
>taking a few steps outside of the door now, it was all but clear
>it was Chris-Chan.
>"THERE HE IS! GET OUT FROM THE WINDOW!"
"Dude, stop touching me! Are you gay? Let me watch, holy fuck."
>the chrischan took off what looked like a medallion off his neck and used it to scratch his asshole
"Gross."
"Wait, who would use their gold medal to scrat-"
>"That's not a gold medal."
"What is it then?"
>"It's his Sonichu medallion."
"AHAHA, What? You're fucking with me now."
>"I swear to Homestuck I'm not."
"And you're retarded, too. Double whammy."
>"Fuck you."
>your attention swerves back to the window, only to be greeted with chris' face right at the window
>he's looking right at you
>"Hello there, friend. Do you want to play with me?"
"AH HOLY SHIT!"
>you jump up and immediatley grab the nerd and throw him up to the window
"PLAY WITH THIS THING, NOT ME!"
"THIS GUY'S A FRIEND! I PROMISE!"
>"No you silly goose, I want to play with you."
>you drop the nerd and start to sweat
>of course this happens the one day you don't decide to take your rape whistle
>chris makes his way away from the window as the nerd grabs his head in agony
>"Did you really have to face-wash me into my window?"
"He said he wanted a friend. I figured you two were a perfect match."
>"Funny shit."
>your dialogue was interupted by what sounded like explosions outside of the door
"Dear god, what's happening?"
>"Don't you know? He's about to ram the door open."
"Oh hell no."
>CC: "I'm coming for you, friend!"
>explosive thuds get closer and closer until the door slams open with the velocity, of, well, a really fat guy hitting it
>CC "Howdy there, friend! Have you met Sonichu?"
>chris holds up the medallion and a poorly made plush of what looks like pikachu
"Oh my god you weren't fucking with me."
>N: "Nope."
>the two of you dash across the room into the kitchen and attempt to barricade it all from chris-chan
>CC "You can't hide from me that easily, you silly goose!"
"FUCKING HELL I CAN!"
>you push a couple of tables up against the now closed door, and you move the fridge over for 'just-incase'
>a couple of sockets are pulled due to your wrecklessness, and the lights start flickering
>N: "Aw man. Really, nox?"
"Look on the brightside, I just made your erotic roleplay bullshit more kinky,"
>the kid blushes at the thought as you continue to pull the fridge over
>what the fuck
>you hear some more footsteps outside the door and some banging starts aswell
>CC: "Would you like to read a Sonichu comic, friend?"
"NO, GET THE FUCK OUT OF THE HOUSE!"
>CC: "Aw, don't be such a party pooper. I know you'll like it~"
>you look over at the nerd
"This guy would be a perfect fit for your group, you know."
>N: "Sorry, we actually have standards."
"No fucking way? I never thought."
>the door starts to slam
>chris is now trying to break into the kitchen
>occasionally the lights are going completley dark
>thankfully they come back on
>but now you noticed that all the windows besides the front one are boarded up
"Hey, any reason why you nailed your windows shut?"
>N: "Oh, it's because we need atmosphere for when we play Dungeons an-"
>the door explodes open
>you fall over because of the might of the impact
>chris chan is standing right in front of you
>CC: "C'mon friend. We can play LEGO's."
"FUCK!"
>the nerd grabs you by the arms and continues his way into the adjacent room
>you bump into a couple peices of furniture, all the while chris glares you down from his position in front of the door
>CC: "You're going to regret that, friend."
>you tremble at his final words as the nerd closes and begins to barricade yet another door
>N: "Listen Nox, if he breaks down this door, shoot him with this."
>the nerd hands you a fully loaded shotgun
"My god, what the fuck dude? I hate faggots as much as the next guy, but shooting him?"
>N: "Trust me, the world would be better off without this guy."
"Okay then, I guess. Why do you have a shotgun in house, anyways?"
>N: "It's for our ERP sessions."
"Why did I even ask.."
>once more, the thudding of the door rescues you from yet another awkward conservation with the nerd
>CC: "Come out, friend. I just want to PLAY with you.."
>you back up further in the room on your knees and ready the shotgun
>the nerd is in the corner with an egg
"Hah. Why do you have an egg, idiot?"
>N: "It's a hand grenade, jackass."
"How did you even..?"
>attention turns back to the door and CWC rambling on about something
>CC: "Please open this door, mr friend. I don't want to hurt you."
"N-no... sorry... no one's... home..?"
>CC: "Oh. I'm sorry to disturb you like that then. I'll just be on my way now."
"Wow, really? What a fa-"
>all the lights turn off
>there was a loud thud
>you swear you heard a fire start in the other room
>N: "Wow. My house..."
"Pfft. Suck it up, pussy."
>you always loved getting in another chirp at the nerd
>he deserved it
>loud bangs were heard at the door
>think knocking, but with the obvious intent of blowing a hole in the door with your fist
>CC: "I'm going to come in, friend."
>you ready your shotgun
>you think you see the nerd ready to pull the ring off of the grenade
>CC: "Here I come, friend"
>the banging intensifies
>the entire house is shaking
>and just to top off the shit platter, the lights are out
>beautiful
>you hear the door start to crack
>more and more clashes are heard against the door
>the poor thing
>finally you hear the sound of wood giving in, and the door swings open
>it nearly flies off it's hinges
>taking a steady aim at where you heard the sound, you ready your finger on the trigger
>but you were greeted with nothing but silence
>...
>N: "OH, FUCK! HELP ME!"
"WHAT? NO!"
>you glance over at where the nerd was, and you see him on CWC's back heading up stairs
>what a faggot, haha
>but being nice, you decide to fire a couple shots at CWC
>out of about 3 shots you took, only one of them hit
>it caught chris right on his closest shoulder to you
>you heard a scream, and CWC only hauled ass from there up the stairs
"Well, fuck."
"I should probably help the kid out. I mean.. fuck."
>you hear sounds of muffled screaming
>N: "OH GOD SOMEONE HELP ME!"
"Ehhhhh...."
"Fine."
>you run up the stairs and are met with a hallway with an abundance of doors
>thankfully, the screaming leads you to the room that CWC is in
>leading with your shotgun, you run into the room only to be horrified by what's happening
>CWC has the nerd tied on the bed, and he's ripped open the nerd's stomach, and is currently in the process of excavating every single organ in the kid's body
"HOLY SHIT!"
>you fire a couple of shots at CWC, and every one of them hits
>unfortunatley none of them hit his head
>more screaming from CWC as he removes the final organs from the nerd's now limp body
"LOOK AT ME, FAGGOT!"
>you fire more shots at CWC as he readies to take off his pants
>this thing is un-killable
>holy god
>he finally turns around to you, with his pants off
>thank god he wears underwear
"W-what do you think you're doing?"
>CC: "I'm just playing with a friend, see?"
>he points over to your former nerd dead on the bed
"You kind of killed him, buddy. Now watch the fuck out, I'm about to blow your brains out!"
>CC: "You didn't even let me get to the best part, friend. Now it's your turn. And I even have a special surprise for you too, friend."
>he continues to do the unthinkable, and starts to reveal the dingleberries
>being an asshole, you decide to shoot them right off of him
>target: hit!
>CWC bellows in pain as his nuts scatter across the room
>blood is dripping from inbetween his legs, and he looks up at you with anger in his eyes
>CC: "Why did you do that friend? We were only going to play.."
>you ready up your shotgun as CWC walks over to you
"SAY GOODNIGHT!"
>you fire a final shot
>oh shit
>no you didn't
>out of rounds
>FUCK FUCK FUCK
>CC: "Oh, you don't have anymore bullets, do you, friend?"
>CWC takes this chance to charge at you, but being a fit motherfucker you're able to bolt out of his torture room
>you pull some cool parkour shit and are able to run into a room in the corner of the hallway
>you hear the panting of CWC as he tries to relocate you
>suddenly, you have an idea
>the nerd said he had erotic roleplay shit go on in here
>some of the toys must be whips and knifes and shit
>maybe you could find one of the sharp ones and use that
>thank you, based faggot
>you peer out of the doorway,and thankfully CWC's back si faced towards you as he scampers to doors across the hallway
>CC: "Where are you, friend? The fun was only about to begin."
>you survey what you can from all the other doorways, but none of them look like any ERP-esque rooms
>you'll have to venture out into the hallway
>dropping the now-useless shotgun, you slowly start to creep out of the doorway
>you make haste and try and take a look at every room as you can
>CWC has now entered one room in search of you, giving you more time to look around
>you find some bedrooms, a bathroom, pretty much any normal rooms you'd find anywhere
>but one room catches your eye
>it has a medieval setup, and is clearly odd with the rest of the rooms
>hmm, i wonder what this could be
>you start to walk up to it until you see CWC's shadow in the adjoining room
>immediatley you back pedal and dive into the closest room
>CWC goes deeper into that room, apparently conviced that all of this noise you were making was just somethign else
>it's now or never, fuck
>should i do it?
>you YOLO it and decide to run into the room
>fuck making noise, in a minute here you'll have an army of shit to kill CWC with
>you make it into the room and are greeted with what i hope anyone would usually have in a sex-dungeon, things including but not limited to strap-ons and whips
>yeah, totally
>you're totally gonna strap one on and whip CWC to death
>yeah, no
>you keep looking, knocking over boxes and investiagting any collections you find
>so far the best you could find was a blunt knife, much like you predicted
>however you find a sillhouetee of what looks like another shotgun
>there is a god afterall
>you run towards the shadow and grab it
>it's not a gun
>it's a fucking dildo
>dammit
>you drop the dick and continue your search
>you turn around to keep searching, this time near the doorway where you had neglected
>but guess who was there?
>and guess who just closed the fucking door?
>with the sound of a lock, CWC gleams at you
>CC: "I didn't know you liked this kind of fun, Nox."
"How do YOU know my name, too? What is this?"
>CC: "Don't worry friend. I'll make sure we have a good time."
>in anger you grab the closest thing to you and throw it at CWC
>if it wasn't for these circumstances, watching a dildo clap CWC in the face would have been hilarious
>you take another look around the room and see some torture devices
>maybe if i could lure him over there?
>fuck, he's not that dumb
>CWC starts to run after you
>he caught you off guard, but nonetheless you, sir Nox, are an athlete
>you easily run away, and eventually you're found speedwalking around the room as CWC blasts at 200% trying only to keep up with you
>you see what looks like stairs going down into a basement
>eh, couldn't get any worse, could it?
>you dive into the sex basement as CWC goes after you
>ah, here's where all the good stuff was
>you find more shit in here than ever, and you're pretty sure not only are some of these things weapons, but they's considered illegal
>you grab a knife
>stick that shit in your pocket
>you grab a handgun
>stick that shit on your hand
>you duck behind one of those torture-strecthing-machine things as you prepare for CWC
>once again the room goes completley silent
>the only light is that of the torches on the black brick walls
>your breathing gets heavier as the silence confuses you
"WHERE THE FUCK ARE YOU?"
>probably not the smartest thing to do
>CC: "I'm right here, friend."
>immediatley you're attacked from behind and you feel the blood from CWC's testes running down your back
"GET THE FUCK OFF!"
>you attempt to push the fat lard off, but he's too much
>he takes a bite out of your shoulder as you roll him over so you can escape
>he had a strong grip, but luckily you got away this time
>you take a couple shot, but they miss
>you glance your hand over to where your pocket knife was, but it wasn't there as you had thought
>fuck
>you see CWC getting up with a knife if his hand, ready to charge at you
>you ready yourself for the charge, but are caught by surprise when he throws the knife directly into your chest
"FUCKING FAGGOT!"
>you yell in pain as you see blood start to drip
>thankfully his aim was that of a stromtrooper, so no important organs were damaged
>he starts to charge at you, and this is when you finally land a shot at his legs
>instantly he falls down, and you take this time to try and rip the knife out of your body
>you succeed, but not without this hurting like a mother fucker
>you drop the knife, and start to make your way over to CWC and his pool of blood
>he belts in pain and looks up at you
>you aim your handgun right onto his skull
>you try and think of a really cool catchphrase to say
>yeah, you don't have anything
>you pull the trigger, and CWC's screaming stops
>you allow for yourself to recollect your thoughts, and you don't move for a solid couple of minutes
>you have to regorganize your thoughts
>are you going to prison? i mean, you shot a guy, but he killed someone
>confusion was swirling around you, and you decide that enough's enough
>you make your way out of the dungeon and start to go out of the house
>but before you can, you grab a bedsheet from one of the rooms
>you go searching for where the nerd had died, and you place the bedsheet over him
"You were a faggot, but you were my faggot. Goodnight, buddy."
>you do some sort of salute as you drop the handgun and go downstairs
>like some shitty horror movie, the lights flicker back on now, and you can hear the sounds of birds chirping outside
>after hopping over some furniture used as barricades, you finally open the door and step outside
"Man, who could of thought being outside was so fantastic?"
>you close the door and walk back over to the sidewalk
>at this point you have so much shit going on in your head you just need to finish you walk
>and this is exactly what you do
>on your walk, you wave to your neighbors and they wave back, only to look at you with horror
>your shirt is ripped in all sorts of places, and blood covers you like a suit
>all you can do is shrug at them and laugh as you continue your walk
>finally, hours later when you round the corner again, you see police and some firetrucks at the nerd's house
>you run over to the nearest police officer and asked what was going on
>before that though, you had managed to clean yourself up
"Officer, what happened here?"
>"We had reports of some noise coming from this house a few hours ago. We cam and checked, and it seemed like someone's sexy time went a little too far. Are you a neighbor?"
"Yeah, I am."
>"I'm sorry about your loss."
"Oh, it's ok. Take care."
>"Have a nice day sir."
>you walk away and step into your house
>holy fuck
>this is hilarious
>even in death the nerd still doesn't get any repsect, they think he was having kinky sex
>thankfully you could rest easy, as you killed CWC and avenged the poor fucker
>you walk over to you couch and turn on the television, and your cat jumps onto the couch to join you.
"You know what, Dusty? That's the last time I ever go outside."