The Crypt of Calamity

        You are Gregor, a high wizard from a country to the north. The only spells he knows are rock and fist. You are adventuring in the kingdom of VRGinia. You and your party are hunting the evil lich Belphomet who has been terrorizing the kingdom with his army of undead. Belphomet has kidnapped the elf princess Cdubb and intends to sacrifice her in a dark ritual. Belphomet's lair is a large tomb called the Crypt of Calamity that extends deep underground like a maze and is filled with all manner of horrible monsters. The Crypt of Calamity is hidden somewhere in Ogre Swamp. As you enter the swamp a pungent stench overpowers your nostrils and you see a sign post that says "Cypt of Calamity: this way".

        You and your party follow the signs and walk deeper into the swamp.

        > Yawnsu is an alcoholic alchemist in Gregor's party. He fights with molotov cocktails.
        Yawnsu first joined your party four years ago when he saved your life. You were gravely wounded in battle with an evil necromancer and would have died had Yawnsu not been there to tend to your wounds.

        > Dayquan is from the inner cities of Detroit. He is a Rogue that is able to hotwire a horse. He is also adept at breaking open doors and shanking other niggas. The darker the skin color, the higher the damage.
        You were once a high ranking military official for the kingdom of VRGinia during its war with the Empire of Kishak twenty years ago.

        > Arc is a sword mage. He can cast the spell Sword. He is an alcoholic and speaks in a very high-pitched effeminate voice.
        You grew up on a farm and always wanted to be a farmer. Your favorite color is green.

        > Xenaghost Corrupted has a dark and brooding past. His family was killed by demons and his tiny Elf lover left him for a monkey.
        You were raised by an emotionally distant father who was a soldier in the army of the Kingdom of VRGinia. You've always felt like you never lived up to his standards. Your favorite color is purple.

        > Gregor looks for a drink in the swamp.
        You find a dead body.
        You give the dead body a drink and take it with you.
        The game was made for the "Awww, hell"

        > Yawnsu pulls out a bottle of booze, cheers and drinks.

        At that moment a group of skeletons appear.
        The skeletons are very angry about this desecration of their graveyard and attack.
        A massive battle ensues.
        You retreat to a nearby cranny to avoid being attacked.

        > Dayquan search the corpse for its penis.
        You find the corpse's flaccid member and hold it in your hands.
        You gain a level in Necromancer. You now have 4 body parts.
        You think about what you can create with these parts.

        > Arc throws a few swords at the oncomig skeleton horde.
        You throw all your swords at the oncoming skeleton horde.
        The skeletons are hit by the swords, fall to the ground and then get back up again (with missing limbs).
        Everything is quiet again.

        > Xenaghost Corrupted casts prestidigitation on the skeletons and fools them into falling into a nearby pit.
        The skeletons fall into the pit.
        The quiet is broken by the sound of bones breaking and the sounds of bones being slung around in the air.

        > Gregor charges headfirst into the Crypt of Calamity armed with nothing but a rock.
        You charge headfirst into the Crypt of Calamity armed with nothing but a rock.
        You are hit in the head by several bones and lose sight in one eye.
        A demon appears in front of you.
        Yawnsu drops to his knees, reaches for the demon's enormous penis and begins to suck it.
        The demon's member begins to increase in size and Yawnsu struggles to contain it within his mouth.
        Somehow, Yawnsu manages to contain the demon's massive member.

        > Dayquan slices the demon's member off while it is distracted.
        You slice the demon's member off while it is distracted.
        The demon's member falls to the ground and begins to mutate into a horrible tentacle creature.

        > Arc casts Power Word: Kill on both the demon and tentacle creature.
        A ball of light appears above the demon's head and begins to utter the worlds, "kill, kill, kill."
        The demon and the tentacle creature fall down dead.
        You gain a level in Necromancer.

        > Xenaghost Corrupted reaches into a nearby chest, grabs the enchanted obsidian dagger within and slices it across his wrist while brooding about his deep dark past.
        You slice your wrist open while brooding about your deep dark past.
        Several shadows appear and begin to consume your soul.
        You have died!

        > Gregor screams in agony over the loss of Xenaghost.

        Gregor rushes into the Crypt to find Belphomet and avenge his lost comrade.
        He finds Belphomet, cuts off his head and avenges Xenaghost.
        Gregor gains a level in Soldier.
        Yawnsu travels back in time to right before Xenaghost died.
        Yawnsu kills Xenaghost before he dies.
        Yawnsu gains a level in Necromancer.
        You have all been awarded an extra life.
        Belphomet the lich attacks Yawnsu.
        Yawnsu has died!

        > Dayquan cowardly abandons Gregor and goes off to search for treasure.

        You search the treasure room for the most loot.
        An iron maiden spins to life and crushes you to death.
        You have died!
        You have reached the "Game Over" screen.

        > Arc summons an unlimited amount of swords out of the ether and sends all of them flying at Belphomet.
        You send all the swords flying at Belphomet.
        Belphomet is impaled by hundreds of swords.
        Amadeus appears in front of you and crushes your body with a powerful punch.

        > Gregor taps into his inner potential and powers up to maximum. He then begin to wrestle Belphomet to the ground.
        Gregor breaks every bone in his body falling off a table.
        You have died!
        You have reached the "Game Over" screen.

        > Arc hops to his feet and attempts to escape. He searches for Princess Cdubb in the tomb.
        You search for the princess in the tomb.
        You find a secret passageway.
        You open the secret passage and get sucked into a whirlpool and drown to death.
        You have died!