a tale about a friend

>be me, first grade
>make a new friend at school
>invited to spend the night out his house
>fast forward to weekend, at his house
>big fucking house, 2 stories, giant trampoline in the giant backyard
>get bored of browsing shitty websites like crappy.com
>go outside
>trampoline
>jumping around and shit, hitting each other with toy lightsabers because star wars
>says he has to piss
>whips it out
>pisses all over trampoline
>wut.jpg
>pisses for like 20 god damn years
>laughing like a maniac and jumping around as he pisses
>turns out he does it all the time, and it's perfectly normal
>oh that makes sense
>eventually eat dinner, he chews louder than an elephant eating pussy
>go to bedroom, notice he has one of those "potty training shit box" things
>the kind that babies use once they know to not shit in they're drawers, but can't get onto a toilet
>ask him why the fuck he has a potty training shit box
>exact words
>"so i don't have to go downstairs to the bathroom if i have to shit or pee when i'm in bed"
>oh that makes sense
>eventually fall asleep
>wake up the following morning
>holy shit on a giraffe's cunt i'm hungry
>leap out of bed because first grader sleep habits
>see friend
>on the potty training shit box
>he's giggling like a maniac
>taking a shit
>i just watched my friend shit into a box laughing like a hyena
>brush it off as nothing
>go eat breakfast, still chews louder than paula deen's ass-ripping farts
>go to trampoline again
>says he has to shit again
>assume he'll just go inside to shit like a normal person
>nope.avi
>goes to this little alley thing between his house and a wood fence
>strips
>bends over and begins shitting
>laughing like a maniac again
>his dad sees from his office window upstairs
>leans out the window
>ANON! WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING
>I'M TAKING A SHIT LOL
>YOU BETTER PICK THAT SHIT UP, GODDAMNIT
>OKAY DAD LOL
>wtf is this family
>he picks up the shit
>into the compost bin
>doesn't wash his hands
>mfw i just watched a tall-fuck first grader piss all over his trampoline, shit in a box, shit outside, then pick it up and compost it
>never been to his house since