Checkmating

-- tallOrder [TO] appears in a green flash a few feet off the ground --
-- tallOrder [TO] THUD --
TO: whoawhoat?
-- gallantHidalgo [GH] is in a his tent with a tent in his pants. --
-- gallantHidalgo [GH] gets out his tent --
-- gallantHidalgo*out [GH*OUT] of his tent --
-- tallOrder [TO] is looking around groggily --
TO: whereizzis?
-- tallOrder [TO] sits up --
GH: ---- Halt!
GH: ---- Who goes there?
TO: i'm kaie.
TO: where am i?
GH: ---- Thy art before Sir Calhad The Glorious, that's where
TO: a real live kinght? o3o
TO: hey are you a dremora?
GH: ---- ----Verily, unless by some strange fates I died and stand now before a goddess
TO: hehe
TO: no goddess here, just a giant.
GH: ---- My second guess was windmill
TO: wha
-- tallOrder [TO] :U --
TO: no uh
TO: definitely not a windmill.
GH: ---- Aha, long story there
GH: ---- full of heroism and bravery on my part of course~
TO: i bet!
TO: so uh
TO: are you a dremora or something?
GH: ---- Nay, I am a noble blueblooded troll
TO: wow
TO: never seen a troll like you before!
GH: ---- I know, I hath that effect a lot
TO: i mean trolls where i'm from are big and furry
TO: not...
TO: cute
GH: ---- Sounds like savages, I assure thee I am an utmost proper gentletroll
TO: well you certainly seem like one!
-- tallOrder [TO] :3 --
GH: ---- I know, I can be very gentle~
TO: oh?
TO: whatever do you mean?
-- tallOrder [TO] ;3 --
GH: ---- Well, we art a xenophobic race
GH: ---- As a knight of the realm tis my duty to impale thee with my lance
TO: yikes
TO: i'm really not feeling the whole dying thing right now.
GH: ---- Oh, la petit mort can very enjoyable
GH: ---- It means little death
TO: little death? :U
TO: i'm not following.
-- tallOrder [TO] :? --
GH: ---- Ah, well then My Lady, I would be happy to teach thee all about it
TO: go ahead!
GH: ---- With haste then!
-- gallantHidalgo [GH] goes back into the tent, and returns with a bucket --
-- tallOrder [TO] sits forward, paying close attention --
TO: what's the bucket for?
-- gallantHidalgo [GH] charms have been put to a hald and he falters for a moment --
GH: ---- Thy, don't hold up the pail to the same signifance as we do?
TO: maybe not.
TO: unless the little death is like about cleaning or fire brigades.
GH: ---- Nay...
TO: so what's it for?
GH: ---- Well, let me explain this troll thing we hath called love
TO: oh we have love too!
-- tallOrder [TO] beams, blushing slightly --
GH: ---- No doubt, but I speak now about the tender act of making it~
TO: ooooooooh i see.
TO: what's the bucket got to do with it?
GH: ---- Well now..
-- gallantHidalgo [GH] goes on to explain troll reproduction in intimate detail --
-- tallOrder [TO] listens curiously --
TO: huh
TO: we don't really use buckets where i'm from
-- tallOrder [TO] goes on to explain humanoid reproduction in detail --
-- gallantHidalgo [GH] stands up straight, linefacing --
GH: ---- Well now...
TO: yeah...
TO: though like you look sorta similar to people where i'm from.
GH: ---- I'm sure they're not quite as handsome
TO: well not quite
TO: but general shape and stuff
GH: ---- Well now I would call that a morsel of divine provendence handed out by the fates
TO: you may be right!
-- tallOrder [TO] winks, blushing --
TO: so what's the plan?
GH: ---- Well I figured twould be an adventure in exploration
TO: sounds like a thrilling quest!
GH: ---- Onwards then
-- gallantHidalgo [GH] pulls off his tunic... --
-- tallOrder [TO] one bodice-ripping scene later --
TO: wow
TO: i think we're gonna get along just fine, sir knight@
TO: *!
-- gallantHidalgo [GH] rolls over --
GH: ---- Doth thee wish to do that again?
TO: i'm up for it if you are!
-- tallOrder [TO] ;3 --
-- gallantHidalgo [GH] one more scene later, bodice pre-ripped --
-- tallOrder [TO] pulls le knight into a cuddle --
-- gallantHidalgo [GH] reaches up and taps her on the nose --
TO: hehehe
GH: ---- Quite the adventure, was it not so?
TO: yeah
TO: can't wait for the next one
GH: ---- Oh I feel the next one wilt be the hardest by far
TO: ohoho will it? >:3
GH: ---- Verily
GH: ---- Just lay in wait here a moment longer while I fetch something
TO: sure thing!
-- tallOrder [TO] lets him go and watches him walk to retrieve --
GH: ---- The things we do for love...
-- gallantHidalgo [GH] retrieves his actual lance and suddenly swings it around to point it at her --
TO: whoa whoa whoa!
-- tallOrder [TO] scrambles to her feet --
TO: what's that for?
GH: ---- Tis for thy end, vile alien temptress
TO: hey you seduced me dude!
-- gallantHidalgo [GH] grins and wiggles an eyebrow --
GH: ---- Tis true mayhaps
GH: ---- But thou see, twoud be a stain on my honour if our little trist became known
TO: oh NOW you worry about stains!
TO: listen i'll keep it a secret okay?
GH: ---- Verily for the dead hold all their secrets!
-- tallOrder [TO] grabs up the bucket --
TO: back off!
-- tallOrder [TO] crumples it in her fist --
-- gallantHidalgo [GH] can't help wince at the lewd gesture --
GH: ---- Bind thee tongue wench!
-- tallOrder [TO] throws it at him full-force --
-- gallantHidalgo [GH] gahh! He was not prepared for this. The sinbucket hits him in the face --
-- tallOrder [TO] uses the opening to punt him with full giant strength --
-- gallantHidalgo [GH] blast off! --
-- tallOrder [TO] gets dressed and goes to find a friendlier troll --