Crapshot Script

SHADOWY FIGURE #1
It is good that we meet again my brethren. How goes our plan to stop people’s favourite bands from achieving mainstream recognition?

SHADOWY FIGURE #2
Everything is going according to plan, my lord. Autotune will sweep the music awards again this year.
(BEAT)
But, there is *one* small problem.

SHADOWY FIGURE #1
Problem?

SHADOWY FIGURE #3
Yes. The online community of a talented but underplayed artist banded together to protest them being left of a ‘best of 2018 list’ and it got surprisingly popular.

SHADOWY FIGURE #1
They must not be allowed to thwart our plans!

SHADOWY FIGURE #2
Well, once they realised how powerful they could be, they decided to do some actual good.

SHADOWY FIGURE #3
So they banded together and started a fundraiser to get clean drinking water for rural towns with old lead pipelines.

SHADOWY FIGURE #1
Oh, that’s okay I guess. So what exactly is the problem here?

SHADOWY FIGURE #2
Now the Council for putting mind control drugs in the country’s water supplies is angry at us.

SHADOWY FIGURE #3
Apparently we’ve ruined a plan that they’ve been working towards for like, 200 years or something.

(FROM OS)
Fuck you guys!

SHADOWY FIGURE #1
Get out of here Warren, we have this room booked until 3!

~HONK