Fucked Up Like Me

>Of all the bullshit possible people to be trapped in a cave with, it had to be Flamel.
>You were actually /working/ on a case, and Flamel decided to be a massive cunt like usual and follow you.
>That in itself was horrible enough, but the fact that you're both stuck is /her/ fault too!
>She just had to "investigate a suspicious rock pile".
>For a genius, she can be a fucking dumbass sometimes.
>So now you're sitting in a cave, only small bits of light filtering in from outside.
>With possibly your least favorite individual in the whole world.
>"You know, the more I think about it, the less I even think there was an actual lead here to begin with!" she says with a huff.
"I was told that suspicious activity was seen around this cave, so I came to investigate."
>"Blind leading the blind, it's so sad..." she muttters, lying down on the floor of the cave.
"Could you just be quiet Flamel? Please? I'm sure help is going to be here soon when they realize I'm missing."
>"When they realize /you're/ missing? I see you aren't factoring me into this equation!"
"Because nobody knows you're here with me, they'd be looking for me!"
>"And you complain about /my/ ego! The hypocrisy is rampant!"
>You want to fucking kill her.
>Help better get here fucking soon.

>But it doesn't get here soon.
>It's been two hours and not even a remote sign of anybody coming to rescue you.
>Your stomach is grumbling a bit, you had a light lunch and it's coming back to bite you.
>"Could you /please/ keep quiet?"
"I can't control my stomach Flamel."
>"Then maybe you should properly feed yourself! I know I had a hearty meal beforehand."
"Yeah, you bum it off Jazz or annoy Tonic into feeding you?"
>Flamel's face twists into anger.
>"Are you implying something English Major?"
>Oh, "English Major", to her that's an unforgivable insult.
>You're /so/ offended.
"You know damn well what I'm implying."
>"Gah!"
>She likes doing that.
>Whenever she doesn't have an easy retort she'll just huff.
>It's like she's literally full of hot air.
>Hot air...
>Hot breath...
>That gives you an idea!

>Getting up off the floor you head to the collapsed entrance.
>Finding a decent sized opening, you stick you mouth out.
>The fire isn't meant to actually burn anything, but more cause smoke.
>Might just make for a decent smoke signal.
>"What the hell are you doing?"
>Ignoring her, you keep trying to maintain a stream of smoke.
>It's easy to let a fire rage, controlling it and keeping it low is far more difficult.
>"Have you gone stir crazy already?"
>Every time she opens her damn mouth it makes you shudder.
>Which, of course, does not do anything good for that concentration you're trying to maintain.
>After a while of trying, you stop.
>If it's not going to work as is, you don't have the patience to keep trying.
>Sitting back down, you notice Flamel giving you the evil eye.
>Or, as you've come to know it, Flamel looking at you at any time.
>"Did you acomplish whatever asinine thing you were trying to do?"
"With any luck, hopefully."
>"Oh /great/, relying on luck now are we? Great! Shall I start praying for guidance while we're at it?"

"For once in your life could you not be a massive bitch? Like, save it for when I'm free to walk away from you?"
>Flamel crosses her arms.
>"What, can't take criticism well? Never pegged you as someone so sensitive!"
>The sneer on her face is the straw that breaks the camel's back.
>You are officially done with her bullshit.
"Oh, are we doing critiques now? Well allow me to give you a few /observations/ I've had!"
>Flamel goes to say something, but you're already spewing out words as fast as you can think of them.
"You are by far the most worthless living being I have ever seen. You talk up your skills and knowledge so much, yet never fucking amount to anything. What do you even /do/ for a living? Or do you just leech off of those in town who still somehow inconcievably give a shit about you? And how do you thank them? By complaining! My god you are the most entitled brat I have ever had the displeasure of meeting. Someone could hand you a fucking mound of gold and you'd bitch about the low value of gold on market today! And you know, you know deep down that you have absolutely thrown away any chances of forming real relationships all because every little detail needs to be picked apart to oblivion! Whatever jammed a stick this far up your ass has got to be fucking world ending to have made you the bitter cunt you are now."
>You take a deep breath.
>There's a lot more you could say, but there's no point in saying it.
>This is /Flamel/.
>She's probably going to come up with some shitty comeback in a few minutes and feel like she's won.
>Because it's Flamel, that's what she does.

>But she doesn't say anything.
>She just kind of sits there.
>For a bit she stared at you, but now she's just looking off into the distance.
"Oh what, no good comebacks saved for this occasion? Your genius brain didn't come up with any?"
>"Nope."
>It's a hollow response, cold and empty.
>No amount of indignation she has ever shown in the past came out like that.
>It's strange, it's almost like something has taken her voice and used it.
>Sounds like her, but the inflection is all wrong.
>Silence.
>Nothing but silence for some time.
>You'd almost feel a little worried if it was anybody else who got so quiet.
>But with Flamel you appreciate the quiet.
>Although, you seemingly jinxed yourself, because Flamel begins talking again.
>"Back in grade school I watched my friend kill herself."
>The sentence makes your gaze instantly snap over towards her.
"What?"
>"You asked what's 'jammed up my ass'. That's what."
>How do you respond to that?
>"I assume you want details. I've got nothing to hide."
>Sighing deeply, she starts recounting her tale.
>It's so detailed and eloquent, you're practically there, living it.

>You're in Eighth Grade.
>A young bright girl with all the opportunity in the world.
>Despite how smart you are, or perhaps because of it, your friend group is small.
>You've got a core group of five close friends.
>As far as you're concerned, it's all you need.
>And of them all, one was closer than all others.
>You two are thick as thieves, your weekends marked with sleepovers and the like.
>It's as perfect as a friendship can be.
>But, aparently not so perfect as that you'd have perfect insight into their troubles.
>One day she walks up to you, misty eyed.
>It's after school, you're both in the bathroom.
>And... you still aren't comfortable with describing what comes next.
>A sad goodbye and an image that will be burned in your mind forever.
>Now, a suicide is an awful thing, it's a horrible thing.
>That's nowhere near the end for you though.

>Countless questions from countless adults.
>"What exactly happened?"
>"Did you notice any signs?"
>"Why didn't you tell anyone they felt like this?"
>Your answers never feel adequate.
>You /don't/ know!
>She never even hinted at anything like that.
>Doesn't stop the accusations.
>While the adults at the very least keep things discrete, fellow students are nowhere near as tactful.
>"Why did you let her die?"
>"Some friend you are!"
>"You're worthless!"
>Things get so bad you ask to be homeschooled.
>You just want everything to stop, to go away.
>Your friend group shrinks to nothingness, but you don't care.
>After all, there's one thing that this has taught you.
>Distance is good.

>"That's the abridged version I suppose." Flamel says dryly, abruptly ending her story.
>You're stunned speechless by what you've just heard.
"You kind of just stopped caring about others, huh?"
>"Turns out focusing solely on academics helps drown out the world around you. I just kept going until I knew I was better than them."
"Why are you telling me this now?"
>"You called me worthless..." her voice cracks a bit.
>You raise an eyebrow.
>"All I've got to show for myself is... is the work I've done. I've spent every moment trying to prove that I'm the best that I'm... I'm not..."
"You know, I never thought I'd say this to you of all people. But... I understand where you're coming from."
>Flamel looks over, sniveling a bit.
>"I honestly fucking doubt that."
>The anger in her voice is overpowered by a tone you can only think of as curious.
"It's some fucking irony that you of all the dragons here are probably the most relatable. I've got my own story for you, one about a man and a woman named Vanessa..."

>Once you finish recounting the situation you've played in your mind over and over again, silence overwhelms the cavern.
>"Fuck..."
>That's an appropriate response.
"Death is horrible. Even more so when you're directly involved somehow. Accusations can start flying to the point where-"
>"Even you start to believe it yourself..."
"Yeah... exactly..."
>Neither of you seem to know where to go from here.
>Never in your fucking life did you expect to find a common ground with Flamel.
>But now you're both realizing how your fucked up pasts are similar.
>Death changed both of you.
>It took Flamel and made her a bitter, solitary bitch.
>It took you and destroyed your self worth.
>She took self betterment to an unhealthly extreme, you dropped it all together.
>And you honestly aren't sure which is worse.
"You ever go to therapy?"
>"No, it never felt right to go to, you know? Like, it was admitting there was a problem."
"I know exactly what you mean."

>"The closest thing I had to friends back on earth were a few fuck buddies at college. And now I've been hanging out with Jazz, but I think it's because he's more desperate than me for companionship."
"Did you just call yourself desperate?"
>"Fuck off, forget you ever heard that!" she snaps.
>You can't help but chuckle softly.
"You're a bitch Flamel. A fucking bitch."
>"Fuck you too..."
"But, and I mean this, you aren't worthless. You just act like it."
>"Hmm?"
"The walls you have up are so high that you're almost having the opposite effect with them. They're keeping you down. Nobody wants to work or be with you if you treat them like garbage. If you had just asked for a job, I could have probably found you a nice one and avoided all the bullshit we had on that train."
>She laughs, probably thinking back to /that/ fiasco.
"I don't think I like you yet, but... I understand you now Flamel. And, from a fellow fucked up former human, I hope you'll try to make a change."
>"And then what?"
"Be happy? Let that weight off your shoulders for once?"
>"I-I can't just drop trauma, that's fucking retarded."
"Nobody's asking for you to forget it, just... learn to live despite it, not with it."

>As Flamel ponders that, rocks begin to levitate away.
>"There you two are! Tonic, you were right!" calls Twilight.
>Within moments the cave's blockage has been cleared.
>"What happened here?" Tonic asks, walking in, staring at Flamel with an accusatory look in her eyes.
"Just a landslide, freak accident really."
>Flamel shoots you a glance before walking out.
>"Well, now that I'm /finally/ free, I'll go be productive. Something Khoa seems to have forgotten to do!"
>As she huffs off, Tonic leans in.
>"I cannot imagine the hell you've gone through Khoa."
>You sigh a little, watching Flamel walk off.
"Honestly? I'm not sure what happened these past hours, but I'm glad it happened."
>"You've probably got cabin fever or something, c'mon, let's get you laid down." Tonic says, a little confused.
>You don't argue, Tonic leads you home and you head to bed.
>The sleep is dreamless and peaceful, thankfully uneventful.
>When you wake up, you wonder if Flamel appreciates dreamless nights as much as you do.

>Later in the day, a little past noon, you see Flamel storm in.
>"Khoa! I need to discuss something with you!"
>You flinch as she bursts in.
>Between her and Daze you'll probably need a new door soon.
"Yes?"
>Flamel looks down, shuffling her feet.
>"Your incompetence in the cave last night has proven something to me! You need an assistant! Someone to make sure you don't... uh..."
>Looks like she hadn't fully finished her bullshit story when she stormed in here.
>Not that you mind, you know what she wants.
"That'd mean I'd be your boss you know, you'd have to listen to me."
>"A small price to pay to ensure the justice system here doesn't crumble to dust!"
"I'll... consider it."
>"FUCK YOU! You make me sit up all goddamn night last night pondering how I function and if that should change only to give a wishy washy answer like that? Were you just spewing bullshit back in that cave about you understanding where I-"
"May I remind you that you didn't actually /ask/ for the job? You demanded it~"
>"You are a cruel, cruel madame. May I /please/ work with you?" she asks, her tone a mixture of annoyance and enjoyment.
"Sure, we can give it a test run."
>"A test run?!" she roars.

>It's been a week of working with Flamel.
>You still don't like her as a friend.
>When comparing her to just about anybody else in town, she falls flat and falls hard.
>She's rude, she's volitile, she questions you at every turn.
>But she's making an effort.
>For the first time in a long time she's trying for somebody other than herself.
>And you know from experience how much making that initial effort helps.
>Maybe in time she won't be a massive cunt.
>She's already a little less of a cunt as is.
>It's not a very large change, but it's a start.
>You can stomach her behavior a bit more now.
>You don't have dark thoughts of muder whenever she speaks to you anymore.
>In part because you understand why she is like she is.
>But mostly because you know that if you overcame your mental minefield, she can too.
>If only to prove to you that she did it better than you.
>And, being honest, you're more than eager to lose this competition.