R11:CO2_04.txt

何もすることがないときの時間の流れは、なぜこれほど遅く感じるのだろう。%K%P
Why is it that the flow of time feels so slow when there's nothing to do?

結局のところ、時間というのは主観的なもので、いくらでも変動する曖昧なものなのかもしれない。%K%P
In the end, what we call "time" is a subjective thing, vague and prone to frequent fluctuations.

食事の後、永遠とも思える長い時間が過ぎた。%K%P
It felt like an eternity had passed since that meal.

ようやく、外が闇に包まれてきたところだ。%K%P
At long last, the outside had become wrapped in darkness.

私達４人の間には、ポツポツと断片的な会話はあったものの、ほとんどの時間は沈黙が続いていた。%K%P
The four of us occasionally had fragmented conversations with frequent pauses in between, but most of the time was spent in a continuing silence.

黄泉木は火の番をするようにドラム缶製のストーブの前に陣取って、ジッと目を閉じている。%K%P
As if starting the night watch, Yomogi had quietly camped himself in front of the drum stove with his eyes shut.

極力体力を温存しておくためだろう。%K%P
It was probably to preserve his strength.

黛も、自分のテリトリーに引きこもり、身動き一つしない。%K%P
Mayuzumi, too, had shut herself up in her own territory, having not moved even once.

ご飯抜きの私のお腹は、しきりとうなり声をあげた。%K%P
My stomach, which had gone without dinner, continued to make groaning sounds.

体力を残しておくべきだと考え、私も２人にならって毛布をかぶり、ずっと目を閉じていた。%K%P
Wanting to conserve my energy, I pulled my blanket over my head like the other two had and kept my eyes shut.

空腹のため、お腹が熱を持ったようだ。%K%P
Due to the hunger, it felt as if my stomach had a fever.

拳をお腹に当てて、空腹をこらえる。%K%P
I struck my stomach with my fist and endured the hunger.

こころ「……そうだ」%K%P
...That's right.

この空腹感が事実を推測する手がかりとなりうるような気がした。%K%P
I thought that this sensation of hunger was a clue as to the true nature of this situation.

人格交換が起こって、私は空腹を覚えた。%K%P
The personality exchange occurred, and I remembered getting hungry.

スフィアにいるときには満腹だったのに。%K%P
Even though I had eaten my fill at SPHIA...

ということは、肉体ごとそっくりそのまま転移したのではないことを示している。%K%P
In that case, it showed that the entirety of our bodies didn't change as well.

妙な仮説だが、私の身体が『優希堂悟』の形に変形してスフィアに飛ばされているという可能性は否定されるわけだ。%K%P
It was a strange hypothesis, but with this, I could reject the possibility that my body had transformed into that of "Yukidoh Satoru" and jumped over there.

私は、やかんの湯気を見つめながら、思索を進める。%K%P
I advanced my speculation while watching the steam rise from the kettle.

空腹を感じているのは、私の脳だ。%K%N
It was my brain that felt hunger.

消化器系にある神経から食事の必要性を感じ取り、『空腹』を信号として発信している。%K%N
The feeling of the need to eat comes from a signal, sent out by nerves in the digestive system, that is felt as "hunger."

では、脳が転移した、とは考えられないだろうか？%K%P
Then, it would be wrong to think that our brains were switching back and forth, wouldn't it?

その可能性について、しばらく検証してみたが……あり得ないと結論付けた。%K%N
As to the likelihood of that, I tried to find some way to verify it... however, I concluded that it was impossible to do so.

私が空腹を感じたのは転移の直後――『冬川こころ』の身体になった途端のことだ。%K%N
I felt hungry immediately after transfer――as soon as my body became that of "Fuyukawa Kokoro."

脳が転移したとすれば、脳内の血液中にはエネルギーとなる糖分がある程度蓄積されていたはずだ。%K%N
If our brains themselves had switched, the blood inside the brain should have accumulated sugar to be used for energy to some extent.

つまり、すぐには空腹感を覚えることはないだろうということになる。%K%N
In other words, I shouldn't have remembered that I was hungry immediately.

私の脳は、私の肉体とともにこの世界にとどまっており、ずっと空腹の信号を出し続けていたと考えるのが妥当だろう。%K%P
It would be appropriate to think that my mind never separated from my body in this world, and that the hunger signal was continuously being sent out.

こころ「っていうか、脳が飛ぶって考え自体……バカみたいよね」%K%P
In the first place, seriously thinking that my brain could have jumped... is pretty stupid, huh?

私は小さな声で呟いた。%K%P
I murmured in a small voice.

悟の頭蓋骨に私の脳が飛ばされ、脊髄の神経組織がパチッと完璧に融合されたとしても……%K%N
Even if my brain jumped into Satoru's skull and perfectly united with the nerve tissue of his spinal cord with a "pop"...

その後は想像を絶する%TS016拒絶反応%TEが襲うだろう。%K%N
What awaits after that would be a %TS016rejection response%TE attack beyond all imagination.

脳の転移なんて、ナンセンスだ。%K%N
Something like swapping brains is nonsense.

やはり、私の人格が――意識だけが交換されたと解釈する以外に説明がつけられなかった。%K%P
As expected, this can only be interpreted by my personality――my consciousness being exchanged. There's no other explanation.

だけど、そもそも意識ってなんだろう？%K%N
But, what IS consciousness in the first place?

スフィアにいた私は、確かに『冬川こころの人格』だった。%K%N
The me at SPHIA was definitely "Fuyukawa Kokoro's personality."

優希堂悟の中に入っていたけれど、『私』だったのだ。%K%N
It had entered Yukidoh Satoru, but it was "me."

悟のメモにあったクルマの例えを借りるなら、『優希堂悟』というクルマを操作していた運転手は、間違いなく『冬川こころ』であったと思う。%K%N
If I borrow the figurative comparison from Satoru's note, the driver operating the car known as "Yukidoh Satoru" is unmistakably "Fuyukawa Kokoro."

あの世界にいた私とこの世界にいる私が同一人物だと思うのは、なぜ？%K%N
The reason I think the me in that world and the me in this world are the same is... what?

%N

――『私』って何だろう？%K%P
――What is "me" to begin with?

しばらく考えて、私は一つの結論を出す。%K%P
While thinking this, I came to a single conclusion.

こころ「それは……記憶が連鎖しているから」%K%P
It's because... our memories were connected.

こころ「でも……ちょっと待って？」%K%P
But... wait a second.

こころ「記憶って、脳に蓄積されるものじゃなかったっけ？」%K%P
Weren't memories located in the brain?

テレビのドキュメンタリー番組で見たことがある。%K%N
I saw this documentary on TV.

記憶のメカニズムというのは、簡単に言うと『神経回路の繋がり』のことを指すのだという。%K%N
As it pointed out, the mechanism called memory is, simply put, a "network of neural circuits."

例えば、『りんご』という単語を覚えるとする。%K%N
For example, say you wanted to memorize the word "apple."

そうすると、『りんご』を覚えるために必要な、脳細胞同士が樹状突起という枝を伸ばし、%TS018シナプス%TEによって繋がりあう。%K%N
When memorizing the word "apple," it is necessary for your brain cells to branch into dendrites and lengthen into each other, connected at the %TS018synapse%TE.

具体的には『赤い』『丸い』『果物』など、多種多様の要素を複合させて覚えるらしい。%K%N
Physically, it is "red," "circular," and "a fruit"; a variety of different elements must be remembered in combination for you to be able to recall it.

『りんご』の記憶に必要な回路ができあがっていれば、『りんご』という語を『記憶』することができたことになるらしい。%K%P
The circuit necessary for remembering "apple" requires the "recollection" of the word "apple" to be completed.

つまり記憶とは、『どういうパターンで脳細胞が繋がっているか？』と換言できる。%K%N
In other words, memory is asking, "in what pattern are your brain cells connected?"

当然のことだけど、悟の脳と私の脳は違う。%K%N
It goes without saying, but Satoru's brain and my brain are different.

なのに、私の脳だけに刻まれていたはずの記憶を、悟の脳でも思い出すことができた。%K%N
Even so, the memories that were supposed to have been engraved in my brain only were recalled by Satoru's brain.

悟の脳に私の意識が飛んだ瞬間、%N悟の脳内%TS017ニューロン%TEネットワークが、冬川こころの記憶の形に繋ぎ変わったということなのだろうか？%K%P
Does this mean that the moment my consciousness flew into Satoru's brain, the %TS017neural%TE network inside his brain changed and connected in the shape of Fuyukawa Kokoro's memories?

こころ「……そんなことって、可能なわけ？」%K%P
...Is something like that even possible?

それとも、%TS019ホストコンピューター%TEはこの避難小屋の私の頭蓋骨の中にあって、%TS020クライアント%TEの端末だけが悟の方にあるってことなのかな？%K%N
Or is it that the %TS019host computer%TE is in my skull in this shelter cabin, and only the %TS020client%TE terminal is where Satoru is?

まるで遠隔操作のロボットみたいに。%K%N
Like a remote-control robot.

脳の神経回路があっという間に切り替わるなんてことより、実現可能性は高い気はするけれど……%K%P
Rather than the neural circuitry of the brain changing in the blink of an eye, the possibility of this being the case feels much higher.

こころ「う～ん……」%K%P
M～mm...

私は毛布にくるまって、そのままパタンと横たわった。%K%P
I wrapped myself up in my blanket and lay down with a soft thud.

知恵熱が出そうだ。%K%P
My head was starting to hurt from all this thinking.

黄泉木「う～ん……」%K%P
M～mm....

ゆに「う～ん……」%K%P
M～mm...

ふと、気づくと黄泉木とゆにも、私と同じようにうなり声をあげていた。%K%P
Suddenly, I noticed both Yomogi and Yuni letting out a groan similar to mine.

ゆに「やっぱり、濡れたのが原因なのかな？」%K%P
Is it because it got wet, after all?

ゆに「この小屋に来る時、雪まみれになっちゃったから」%K%P
Because it got covered in snow when we reached this cabin.

黄泉木「だろうな。ラジオがあれば、情報収集できると思ったんだが」%K%P
I'd think so. If we had a radio, we'd at least have a source of information.

２人は携帯用のラジオを、ためつすがめつしながら見ていた。%K%P
The two of them were looking at a portable radio they were holding, scrutinizing it carefully.

私は身体を起こし、尋ねた。%K%P
Feeling revitalized, I inquired,

こころ「そのラジオ……どうしたの？」%K%P
That radio... what's wrong with it?

ゆに「ぼくのコートのポケットに入ってたんだよ。今、気づいたんだ」%K%P
It was inside my coat pocket. I noticed it just now.

ゆに「でも、うまく聞けないんだよ……」%K%P
But I can't hear anything very well...

ゆに「乾けばなんとかなるかもしれないけどさ」%K%P
If we dry it we might be able to use it, though.

黄泉木「よし、ものは試しだ。分解してみるか」%K%P
All right, time to test it. Want to try taking it apart?

どうして男の人って、やたらめったら分解したがるのかしら？%K%P
Why do men always recklessly try to take things apart?

ゆに「え～？　ねじ回しがないよ？」%K%P
Eh～? Don't we have a screwdriver?

黄泉木「ナイフで代用しよう」%K%P
Let's use a knife instead.

黄泉木はなぜかウキウキした様子で、懐からサバイバルナイフを取り出した。%K%P
Yomogi seemed somehow cheerful, and took a survival knife from his breast pocket.

その刃先を使ってラジオのネジを取ろうとするが、そもそもナイフが大きすぎるのか、悪戦苦闘していた。%K%P
He tried to unscrew the radio using the knife's edge, but the knife was too large in the first place, so it was a fierce battle.

黄泉木「う～ん、ダメだ。分解は無理だな」%K%P
Ha～ah, it's no good. Disassembly is impossible.

ゆに「がっかり……」%K%P
How disappointing...

黄泉木「仕方ないさ」%K%P
It's no surprise.

ゆには悔しそうにそう言うと、ラジオをポケットに戻した。%K%P
Having expressed his disappointment, Yuni returned the radio to his pocket.

と、ポケットに手を入れたまま、彼はイタズラっぽい笑顔になる。%K%P
And, with his hand in his pocket, he put on a smile as if he were playing a trick.

ゆに「ねえ、こころん」%K%P
Hey, Kokoron.

ゆにが駆け寄ってきて、私の顔をのぞき込んだ。%K%P
Yuni rushed over and brought his face close to mine.

こころ「ん？　なに？」%K%P
Hm? What?

ゆに「ちょっと来て」%K%P
Come here for a second.

声を潜めてそう言うと、ウィンクひとつ。%K%P
He said, lowering his voice and winking.

ゆには私の手を引っ張って、地下倉庫へと連れて行った。%K%P
Pulling at my hand, Yuni led me toward the basement storeroom.