WORLD SHOULD BE, PART 5

[ https://soundcloud.com/splitsuns/world-should-be ]
[WORLD SHOULD BE — PART 5]
[x]
[The recent past is recalled for the benefit of the myriad...]
[Your name is JEFF MASON. You, along with your nine fellow ADVANCED SUPERIORS, are currently holed up in your top-secret headquarters, PROJECTION, huddling around a TALL GRAY DOOR. By drawing SYMBOLS onto this DOOR, you can look at ONE OF AN ASSORTMENT OF YOUR OWN MEMORIES. Such memories include trying to input the Konami Code, a pie quest, and that time you pissed off an alternate god.]
[You seem to have some ability to manipulate these MEMORIES through YOUR OWN POWERS, and you ALSO have the ability to interfere with ONE EVENT PER MEMORY as your PRESENT SELF. At the same time, you are on the hunt for SOUL GEMS to fill out your INFINITY GAUNTLET.]
[But right now, as it stands... You are looking through the SPLIT SUNS DOOR.]
[. . .]
[Your name is JEFF MASON, and you have just parked your CAR. The sky is infinite and formless, and the ground is rotten and spoiled. There is an OMINOUS YET LIVELY BUILDING in front of you, and MANY OTHER CARS surrounding you, since you're in a PARKING LOT.]
[What will you do?]
<0>
DAGOTH: > Piss on someones car
SPLIT: >examine building
GRACIE: > what is this place?
ETERNITIES: > Look at the building. Does it have a prominently displayed logo?
BOMBER: >Enter the building in a LIVELY yet OMINOUS fashion.
GENERIC: > Examıne buıldıng
IRE: > Put out a skateboard, and ollie on over to the building.
TAZZ: ((what's the CP count again? 1012 CP?))
SERPENT: > Get back in the car and drive it into the building, miraculously avoiding all pedestrians.
TAZZ: > JEFF MASON 1015 CP
GENERIC: > Caramelldansen
PIONO: >JEFF MASON 1018 CP
[x]
[> JEFF MASON 1018 CP]
[JEFF MASON 1018 CP]
[> Piss on someone's car.]
[Sounds like a plan to you! You look around for the biggest, toughest, cruelest car you can find. Off in the distance, you spot it. A HYPER-PRIUS 3000X. The perfect target for your unbridled torment. You saunter up to the car, acting all cool, like it's none of your business.]
[You unzip your pants.]
[An ENDLESS CACOPHONY OF FRACTURED, SPASMING LIGHT pours out from the hole, SUBLIMATING the CAR, the GROUND underneath it, and all the AIR surrounding it.]
[You un-unzip your pants.]
[The resulting crater in the ground immediately fills with FLAMING STARDUST.]
[> Examine building.]
[You glance up and look at the BUILDING in front of you. It is labelled, in big, bright, blocky lettering, 'THE BAR.' On second glance, the establishment itself resembles a long, metal bar that happens to have a DOOR and WINDOWS.]
[The nominative determinism sickens, yet arouses you. Arouses your curiosity, you mean.]
[> Enter the building in a lively yet ominous fashion.]
[You steel yourself. Entering THE BAR won't be as simple as walking through the door and acting like you OWN the place. There's a very specific reason for your visit. One that makes it rather hard to steel your nerve.]
[Truth be told, you're here to see someone.]
[> Get back in the car and drive it into the building, miraculously avoiding all pedestrians.]
[You promptly ignore this melancholy line of thinking, walk backwards into your car, re-start the car, un-park, and drive at full throttle towards THE BAR. You make no attempt to avoid PEDESTRIANS because there are none for you to hit.]
[You immediately start your night the right way by incurring an additional bout of PROPERTY DAMAGE, barreling through the front door of THE BAR. Your CAR explodes, and you melt into sludge inside of it.]
["Ouch," you say.]
[Then you just snap your fingers. The CAR disappears. THE BAR returns to normal. But you're inside.]
<0>
DAGOTH: > Drink the sludge you melted into
SPLIT: >meet who you're here to see. who is that agian?
PIONO: >Change your name to reflect your new state of being
GRACIE: > hear your guy yell at the bartender about snapple... for some reason?
SPLASH: > Check if this is the setup for a joke
IRE: > Order a glass... of milk.
CONSUMER: >lay down the law
GENERIC: > Prepare some GUSIC, just ın case.
BOMBER: >
LEAH: > Look around and think about the venezuelen dollar.
[x]
[> Check if this is the setup for a joke.]
[When you acquired these RED GLASSES (you tap them knowingly), you gained cognizance of EVERY UNIVERSE, EVERY TIMELINE, EVERY POCKET DIMENSION, and EVERY SECTOR OF THE VOID, along with ALL ELSE THAT SUCH A STATUS ENTAILS.]
[EVERYTHING is the setup for a JOKE.]
[> Change your name to reflect your new state of being.]
[> You realize that you fixed the CAR and the BAR, but not... yourself. You now resemble a SALVADOR DALI painting — which is to say, you look VERY COOL. But considering that the people immediately surrounding you have fainted and choked on their own spit, you should probably do something about this.]
[The something that you do is changing your name to CAN'THELPBEINGAGEMINTERROBANG.]
[> Meet who you're here to see. Who is that again?]
[Oh, right. The actual reason for your esteemed incursion into this wreck. You look around. Sure enough, sitting at the front of THE BAR with their head down, is your guy. They're dressed in a cloak, and as such, betray no distinguishable features. But you know it's them.]
[> Order a glass... of milk.]
[There's not much else to do. You shamble across THE BAR in your CRONENBERG-ESQUE FORM, ignoring the panicked shrieks and dropped glasses of those around you, and sit in the BARSTOOL next to the CLOAKED FIGURE.]
[You attempt to order a glass of MILK, but your VOCAL CORDS fell out a while ago.]
[You attempt to theatrically sigh, but you run into the same problem. So you just snap your fingers and return to ACTUAL NORMAL.]
["Can I get a glass... of milk?" you ask. The CLOAKED FIGURE beside you perks up, but says nothing. The BARTENDER nods imperceptibly and runs to the BACK ROOM to right-click a COW with a BUCKET.]
[You turn to the CLOAKED FIGURE.]
<0>
DAGOTH: > remove the cloak
GRACIE: > compliment his cloak
SERPENT: > "So... come here often?"
PIONO: > put your hand on his shoulder with a smoulder in your eyes. "Hey"
IRE: > Dab towards him in understanding.
TAZZ: > JEFF MASON 1021 CP
SPLIT: > "Gusic."
GENERIC: > Say "I'm cuckıng you out of your brother status."
BOMBER: >"What's your favorite Gorillaz song?"
ETERNITIES: > "I've been expecting you."
LEAH: > "Gusic."
[x]
[> JEFF MASON 1021 CP]
["JEFF MASON 1021 CP," you tell the CLOAKED FIGURE.]
[He nods. "So you do," he says. "So you do."]
["You have the report ready?" you ask. He nods.]
[> Compliment his cloak.]
["Gotta say, digging the new cloak. Helps a lot to blend in, doesn't it?"]
[He shrugs. "Not like people would know who I was anyways. Or care."]
[> Remove the cloak.]
[That seems... a bit too forward. You decide to pass on that.]
[The BARTENDER comes back with your MILK. You take a sip. Fucking delicious.]
<0>
PIONO: >JEFF MASON 1024 CP
IRE: > CHUG CHUG CHUG
ETERNITIES: > Chug the whole glass.
SERPENT: > Compliment his eyes.
DAGOTH: > pay the bartender for his services by giving him your eye
GENERIC: > Look around for somethıng to play gusıc on
GRACIE: > red glasses to figure out who he is
TAZZ: > JEFF MASON 1027 CP
GENERIC: > also don't gıve anyone your eye
BOMBER: >Eat the milk, including the glass.
NET: >no giving people your eyes you kinda need them to see
[x]
[> JEFF MASON 1027 CP]
[JEFF MASON 1027 CP]
[> CHUG CHUG CHUG]
[You down the entire MILK GLASS in one long chug. Look at you, slugger! Way to go!]
[> Eat the milk, including the glass.]
[The BARTENDER blinks. Your GLASS is gone. There are GLASS SHARDS sticking to your lips.]
[> Compliment his eyes.]
["Did you change your eye color?" you ask. The CLOAKED FIGURE shrugs non-comittally. "Could you tell the peanut gallery to stay quiet or something?" he asks.]
["No, I need them," you say. "I understand the sentiment, though." He nods.]
[> Red glasses to figure out who he is.]
[You don't need any GLASSES to know who he is. You've known him for quite some time.]
["Anyway, the report," the CLOAKED FIGURE says. "Moniker is starting a new game outside of Fictional influence. He's trying to keep it a secret, but it won't stay hidden for long."]
[You tense, and slowly nod. "Any chance I can interfere?" you ask. The CLOAKED FIGURE turns to you. You can see his RED EYES leering from within. "What part of 'outside of Fictional influence' do you not get?" You shrug. "Well, I mean, you know how I work." The CLOAKED FIGURE dismisses you with a shrug.]
[There's silence for a little while.]
["Will Twin be involved?" you ask.]
["There's a chance," he says.]
[You nod and grin. "Good enough for me."]
<0>
SERPENT: > Ask if he's seen Split.
TAZZ: > JEFF MASON 1030 CP
PIONO: > JEFF MASON 1033 CP
GRACIE: > ask how twin's doing nowadays
DAGOTH: > JEFF MASON 1036 CP
IRE: > Order another glass of milk: one for you, and one for the figure.
[x]
[> Order another glass of milk: one for you, and one for the figure.]
["Hey, sorry to bother you," you say as you bother the BARTENDER. "Could I get another drink for me and this guy over here? Milk, if you could."]
[The BARTENDER huffs at you, walking away. You smirk. "Man, why the long face on her, huh? Inherits this place from her Mother and she thinks she's all that."]
[The CLOAKED FIGURE shrugs. "Family is a tricky thing. Some people will do anything to uphold it, won't they?"]
[The CLOAKED FIGURE takes off their hood. His robotic eyes blink.]
[You gulp. "Y... yeah. I guess."]
[The BARTENDER comes back with two tall glasses of MILK, stops, and stares at the two of you. "Say!" she says. "Are you two twins?"]
[ROBO-ADAM laughs. "We get that a lot."]
[You shoot a sly grin. "Don't ask, please."]
[The BARTENDER shrugs.]
[The two of you grab your glasses. "On the count of three," you say. "One. Two."]
[The two of you spin around and throw your MILK behind you, undoing the INVISIBILITY of the TWENTY-SEVEN HIRED ASSASSINS that had their knives positioned over you the entire time.]
[> JEFF MASON 1036 CP]
["JEFF MASON 1036 CP," you say.]
[ROBO-ADAM grins as the two of you crackle with kaleidoscopic energy. "So you do," he says.]
[The BEATDOWN begins.]
[. . .]
[You walk out of THE BAR feeling content with yourself. The INTEL was appreciated, and the MILK was delicious.]
[Even if there's some turbulence outside of FICTION, you can rest assured knowing it will resolve itself.]
[You stop and smile. Nothing could squander this moment.]
<0>
PIONO: > moment: squander
SPLIT: >something: squander the moment
GENERIC: > Get attacked by Splıt I guess
NET: > absquand
ETERNITIES: > Squander the moment yourself.
SERPENT: > Determine who sent the assassins after you.
IRE: > Loot the bodies of the assassins. Also, loot the bodies themselves.
DAGOTH: > Nothing: Squander the moment
GRACIE: > whistle massive attack - teardrop in celebration of the serenity of this perfect moment
BOMBER: >Squander: appear.
SPLASH: Determining who sent the assassins is probably useful
CPC: > Present Interrobang: what the fuck
TAZZ: > JEFF MASON 1039 CP
SPLASH: > Remember how you know Robo-Adam, because WHAT
[x]
[> JEFF MASON 1039 CP]
[It turns out that during THE FIGHT WHICH NONE OF YOU SAW, you spent all 1,039 of your CHARGE POINTS.]
[...]
[Nah.]
[JEFF MASON 1039 CP]
[> Remember how you know Robo-Adam, because WHAT.]
[How could you NOT know ROBO-ADAM? You built him.]
[The retcon that brought TWINBUILDER into FICTION erased the counterpart of his that was SUPPOSED to exist. In lieu of that, you... had a new one made. He doesn't have ALL of your powers, but he's formidable in his own right. And, as a bonus, he KNOWS things. LOTS OF THINGS.]
[Things that even YOU don't know.]
[You basically give him free reign to do what he wishes, and when he finds something of UTMOST IMPORTANCE, he calls upon you. Like then.]
[You view this as a VERY HEALTHY WAY to get over the EXISTENTIAL OBLITERATION of your ACTUAL BROTHER.]
[> Determine who sent the assassins after you.]
[Not really a question about it. THE CHURCH OF THE KILL SCREEN. They despise you for maining PAC-MAN in SUPER SMASH BROTHERS, and have sworn revenge.]
[It's a shame that their GHOST-RELATED THEMING means that their primary method of "KILLING YOU" is by doing things that they think scare you. You're almost certain they weren't going to STAB you with those knives. Just make you THINK they were.]
[> Loot the bodies of the assassins. Also, loot the bodies themselves.]
[Already on it. You acquired THIRTEEN SPECTRAL KNIVES, a PENDANT OF INVISIBILITY, and a COIN.]
[All of this feels vaguely useless seeing as you can simulate their effects very easily, but you're not one to squander loot.]
[> Squander: appear.]
[No, no. You just said you're NOT one to squander loot.]
[Why would you be so idioti////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////
//////////////////////////////////////kid across the asphalt, landing at the PRECIPICE of the VOID upon which this BAR-ISLAND rests. Another inch, and you'll be sailing through nothingness.]
[You stand. You see no one around. But you DEFINITELY see the JAGGED GASH on your arm.]
<0>
TAZZ: > JEFF MASON 1042 CP
PIONO: >Set up a trap for the next ZA WARUDO to activate
DAGOTH: > Stick your finger in the gash and wiggle it around a little bit
ETERNITIES: > Fight the squander. Whatever it is.
GRACIE: > do that battle command thing where you see your enemy's stats
IRE: > Throw the 27 Assassin Corpses you picked up at your attacker!
PARADOX: > JEFF MASON 1045 CP
BOMBER: >PULL UP YOUR ALLITERATIVE BATTLE MENU
LEAH: > Find a soul gem to throw at your attacker.
SPLASH: > Shoot rainbow fire at everywhere that seems empty in case of invisibles.
GRACIE: DO NOT THROW SOULS
[x]
NET: >do not throw soul gems
[> Find a soul gem to throw at your attacker.]
[You sigh, VERY theatrically, and begin looking around for a—]
[> DO NOT THROW SOULS]
[OKAY OKAY JESUS YOU DON'T. You WON'T. Whoa.]
[> JEFF MASON 1045 CP]
[JEFF MASON 1045 CP]
[> Do that battle command thing where you see your enemy's stats.]
[That nifty mechanic is predicated on you actually, you know, SEEING your ENEMY. And you don't.]
[> Set up a trap for the next ZA WARUDO to activate.]
[A TIME STOP, huh? That would sure as hell make sense. Felt like that thing came from NOWHERE.]
[> Shoot rainbow fire at everywhere that seems empty in case of invisibles.]
[> You tense up, CHARGING until your entire body starts GLOWING. Then, you let out a SPIN ATTACK, whirling around as you spray MOLTEN KALEIDOSCOPIC ENERGY everywhere. It forms a glowing sphere around you. You chuckle as you walk away from the edge of the platform.]
[*teleports behind you*]
["Pshh. Nothin' personnel," the voice says.]
[Your eyes go wide as///////////////////////////////////////////////////]
////////////////////////////////ERY PERSONAL, ACTUALLY," you hear as your ragdoll of a body causes five different CARS to explode.]
[You get up amidst the maelstrom, snapping your fingers. The fires dim, and you point out into the distance.]
[БЛИНДИНГ ЛИГЧТ ОФ РЕЛЕВАТИОН, you say.]
[Everything in your field of vision becomes lit up by the LIGHT OF GOD, up to the NINTH-DIMENSIONAL LEVEL.]
[You see a figure in the middle of it.]
<0>
DAGOTH: > "Hi dad"
GENERIC: > use KING CRIMSON
CAC: > NOW check those stats
TAZZ: > JEFF MASON 1048 CP
SPLASH: > Prevent anyone from teleporting behind you by growing a second front on your back.
PIONO: >Set a trigger for the next time frickery to activate. If it triggers, they get blasted with kaleidoscopic fire
IRE: > Go "yare yare daze"
LEAH: > throw a soul gem
PARADOX: > DO NOT THROW SOULS
BOMBER: >I think now is a good time to call for help, and you know just the relative: UNCLE GRANDPA.
GENERIC: > look for a soul gem anyways
DAGOTH: > throw MANY souls
CURRENT universallyCognizant[CUC] RIGHT NOW responded to memo.
CRYSTAL: > DO NOT THROW SOULS
SPLASH: > Alternatively, tattoo "I Prepared Explosive Runes This Morning" on your back
NET: > look for soul gems though
[x]
[> JEFF MASON 1048 CP]
[JEFF MASON 1048 CP]
[> Set a trigger for the next time frickery to activate. If it triggers, they get blasted with kaleidoscopic fire.]
[You grimace, holding out your HAND. FIRE envelops it, and when the SMOKE clears, you hold a TIME BOMB. It TICKS. And TOCKS.]
[> I think now is a good time to call for help, and you know just the relative: UNCLE GRANDPA.]
[You consider summoning THE RELATIVE, but your SKIN crawls as you contemplate just how much REALITY would be MANGLED, MAIMED, and DISTURBED by his antics.]
[Thankfully, this is more of a METAPHORICAL SKIN-CRAWL than anything else. If you were any of the OTHER SUPERIORS, it would be literal. VERY literal.]
[> Alternatively, tattoo "I Prepared Explosive Runes This Morning" on your back.]
[You have a hunch. And so, you HUNCH over and SLAP your HAND against your BACK. You sear your FLESH as you TATTOO a very specific phrase onto your skin.]
[You then question why so many words in that previous line were capitalized. Maybe you should cut down on that. Ration your emphasis, so to speak.]
[You blink. A force kicks the TIME BOMB out of your hand, and it does not explode. It skitters across the landscape. You see a shape blinking in and out of existence, teleporting every which way. Then you feel something on the back of your neck.]
["I prepared... Huh? What the fuck d—"]
[Your SUIT EXPLODES.]
[On the periphery of your awareness, you know the figure has been knocked back towards THE BAR, and has dropped his weapon. You calmly stroll out out of the raging fireball.]
[Your bare chest is exposed, revealing a gnarled, pulsing SCAR in the shape of an INTERROBANG lacerated across your entire body.]
["No more games," you say. "What's going on here."]
[The figure stands. You can only see two piercing lights from his approximate location.]
["I ONLY HAVE ONE QUESTION FOR YOU, JEFF," he says with an ear-splitting laugh.]
[You blink. The TIME BOMB is hovering in front of you. This time, you catch the exact instant the FOURTH DIMENSION solidifies and freezes over. The BOMB beeps and envelops you in a metaphysical fireball, searing your flesh and knocking you to the gr////////////////////////////////////////////////
//////////////////////////////////////////////our name is JEFF MASON, and you are about to die.]
[A RED SWORD hovers ominously over your neck. Two GREEN LIGHTS take up your entire field of vision.]
["Tell me," the voice says. "What is your favorite album of all time?"]

. . .

[We now return to your irregularly scheduled program, already in progress.]
[. . .]
["Tell me," the voice says. "What is your favorite album of all time?"]
<0>
DAGOTH: > "World Should Be" by SplitSuns
GENERIC: > "TO BREACH THE INDIGO DIVIDE BEHOLD THE TUNES THIS CAT HAS EYED"
LEAH: > "The Sound of Gusic" by Ampersand.
PIONO: >JEFF MASON 1051 CP
GENERIC: ((honestly theres no justification for the indigo divide summoning gusic but god imagine))
SERPENT: > "uhhh death grips"
SPLIT: >"Mezzanine, by Massive Attack."
BOMBER: >"Gorillaz - Plastic Beach. Obviously."
[x]
[> JEFF MASON 1051 CP]
[JEFF MASON 1051 CP]
[> "Mezzanine, by Massive Attack."]
["M-Mezzanine," you say. "By Massive Attack."]
[The GREEN LIGHTS flicker. The SWORD drops slightly closer to your neck.]
["Name your top ten," the voice says.]
["In order. Ten to one."]
<0>
GENERIC: > JEFF MASON 1054 CP
DAGOTH: > "Top 10 in order ten to one"
PIONO: >JEFF MASON 1057 CP
TAZZ: > JEFF MASON 1057 CP
TAZZ: > JEFF MASON 1059 CP*
GENERIC: doubt we're gettıng anythıng ın that'd be better than splıt's choıce
GENERIC: 60
LEAH: > "The Sound of Gusic" by Ampersand.
TAZZ: > JEFF MASON 1060 CP**
SPLIT: >"10: Oneohtrix Point Never, R Plus Seven. 9: Godspeed You! Black Emperor, Skinny Fists. 8: C418: 148. 7: Kero Kero Bonito, Time 'n' Place. 6: death's dynamic shroud, I'll Try Living Like This. *cont*
IRE: > "the DK Rap by Grant Kirkhope"
GENERIC: > "honestly ı just really love gusıc"
SPLIT: 5: Car Seat Headrest, Twin Fantasy, but the 2018 remake. 4: Pink Floyd, Dark Side of the Moon. 3: 2814, Japanese title I don't know how to pronounce except I do. 2: Sweet Trip, velocity : design : comfort. 1: Massive Attack, Mezzanine."
[x]
[> JEFF MASON 1060 CP]
[JEFF MASON 1060 CP]
[> Recite the list.]
["10: Oneohtrix Point Never, R Plus Seven," you say. "And," the voice says.]
["9: Godspeed You! Black Emperor, Lift Your Skinny Fists," you say. "Like interrobangs to heaven," the voice says.]
["8. C418, 148," you say. "Four one eight two," the voice says.]
["7. Kero Kero Bonito, Time 'n' Place," you say. "—Alone," the voice says.]
["6. death's dynamic shroud, I'll Try Living Like This," you say. "No hard feelings," the voice says.]
["5. Car Seat Headrest, Twin Fantasy, but—" "The 2018 remake?" the voice finishes. You nod.]
["4. Pink Floyd, Dark Side of the Moon," you say. "I'll see you," the voice says.]
["3. 2814, 新しい日の誕生," you say. "It's a new day," the voice says.]
["2. Sweet Trip, velocity : design : comfort," you say. "Based 'based 'International makes me cry' poster' poster," the voice says.]
["And... I already said number one," you say.]
[The RED SWORD inches closer. It begins to draw blood.]
["Alright then. Now say it without them force-feeding it to you," the voice says.]
[The RED SWORD is flung across the VOID, impaling me in the chest.]
[> Command terminal locked! <]
["..."]
["Go on," the voice says. "You're telling me that that is literally YOUR top ten albums, in order? From ten to one? Or did you just steal that list from something? From someone?"]
[Your breathing intensifies. You don't know, fully, how to respond. He... knows how your powers work. He must. And you know how he does.]
["I got it from someone," you say. The GREEN LIGHTS spark and throb. "But I didn't need to. Because... it's the truth. Regardless of what they say... those are my favorite albums."]
["You're fucking kidding me," the voice says.]
["No. I'm not," you say.]
[You hear teeth grit in irritation. The figure extends his hand, and the SWORD flies back into it.]
[> Command terminal unlocked! <]
["That's it. That's fucking IT," the voice says. "The kiddie gloves are OFF NOW."]
[There is a SIGNIFICANT amount of SCARLET energy blazing to life in front of you. The figure that has been tormenting you is illuminated. You backflip onto your feet.]
[You are accosted, of course, by SPLIT.]
[POCKET | PURVIEW | PUNCH | PROTECT | PACE]
<0>
GENERIC: > "Hey how the fuck do you stıll have a sword"
CRYSTAL: > PURVIEW
BOMBER: >OH PHUCK
SERPENT: > PROTECT
GENERIC: > TAG Splıt to TOTALLY BEAN hım
BOMBER: > PROTECT
DAGOTH: > PUNCH-Take those glasses off his face and wear 'em!
LEAH: > ATTACK: g u s i c by lozenge
GRACIE: > offer him a hug
TAZZ: > JEFF MASON UH SOME AMOUNT OF CP
GENERIC: (1063)
PIONO: >JEFF MASON 1066 CP
CRYSTAL: > PUNCH: Play gusic.
LEAH: LEAH: > PUNCH: g u s i c by lozenge
GENERIC: > JEFF MASON 1069 CP (eyyyy 69)
[x]
TAZZ: > PUNCH: Play Gusic. At maximum volume. Specifically, g u s i c by lozenge.
TAZZ: damnit
[> JEFF MASON 1069 CP]
["Oh my god SHUT UP. STOP. STOP IT," SPLIT says.]
[Without warning, the RED SWORD lunges at you, jabbing itself into your CP COUNTER.]
[It freezes.]
[> PURVIEW]
[SPLIT: 200,000 HP. The most significant person to ever exist. Powered by the Red Sun, he is only capable of seeing scarlet. Ask him about vaporwave.]
[INTERROBANG: HP‽]
[> PROTECT]
[You snap your fingers. Your SUIT reforms. "Awww, and I was getting used to your chiseled physique!" SPLIT says, cackling. "Kidding, of course. Hit the gym. You can do anything you want and you can't even make yourself look cooler?"]
[Your eyebrow twitches.]
[> PUNCH: Take those glasses off his face and wear 'em!]
[As IF you would do something that would leave you so open to counterattack. No. That sounds like a nice goal, but you have to think more incrementally than that.]
[> PUNCH: Play gusic.]
[You flashstep away. SPLIT takes a step back, and you reform with a PHONOGRAPH set onto the asphalt. Outstretched in your hands is a very particular RECORD.]
["If you value your life, you won't play that track," SPLIT says.]
[You begin playing GUSIC: GREATEST SHITS, VOL. 1.]
[The noise issuing from the PHONOGRAPH is purely undescribable. It isn't a SONG by any stretch of the imagination. It isn't even NOISE, HARSH or OTHERWISE. It offends your very soul by thinking it has a right to exist at all. With every fiber of your will, you remain resolute.]
[SPLIT, however, crumples to the ground, writhing in pain.]
<0>
SERPENT: > Call in Robo-Adam for backup.
PIONO: >The fool has frozen our CP counter at the fortuitous number. Expend 69 CP. The counter, currently frozen, will remain in place. This gives us 2 69. Summon the RULES OF THE INTERNET in all their might, and obliterate the crimson miscreant before you with them.
GENERIC: > Turn the RPM down and say "Thıs counts as vaporwave, rıght? Rıght."
DAGOTH: > PUNCH-Summon a series of Miniature Green Suns and fuse them into a MEGA MINI GREEN SUN. Then throw it at Split like a softball
LEAH: > play more gusic
GRACIE: > turn the gusic off and ask split if he still wants to try throwing hands with you
LEAH: > g u s i c by lozenge
KARP: > Take his pants and wear them on your head.
TAZZ: > Remove sword from CP counter, after that other command. Then, JEFF MASON 1072 CP.
BOMBER: >Summon the HOLY CAT from the sky. Its voice echoes in the area: "Hello."
CRYSTAL: > Throw literal hands at Split.
TAZZ: > Remove Split's glasses and wear them.
ETERNITIES: > Remove Split's pants and wear them.
[x]
[> Turn the RPM down.]
[You adjust the PHONOGRAPH, the pitch and tempo of the GUSIC unmistakably slowing down to a SHADOW of its former self. And yet, its horror is AMPLIFIED. ENRICHED. "This counts as vaporwave, right?" you say. "Right."]
[You blink. SPLIT is standing fully straight, SCARLET ENERGY encircling him. His COAT has turned into a full-fledged CLOAK. You quickly realize the error of your ways and stop the RECORD.]
["YOU REALLY THOUGHT VAPORWAVE WOULD *STOP* ME?" he booms, the voice knocking you back slightly.]
[Split leers at #DTG, extending a hand outwards.]
[> Take his pants and wear them on your head.]
[SPLIT flashsteps faster than you can even blink. You are assaulted by the strongest wind you have ever experienced, and you tumble backwards.]
[You look down. Your PANTS are gone.]
[You look up.]
["LET'S FUCKING GO," SPLIT yells. "I was born for this. I was MOLDED in this. You think YOU can stop me?!"]
[> Throw literal hands at Split.]
["Take a look at these hands," you yell as you clap your HANDS together. A ring of TEN HANDS with CURSES burned into them encircle you, and you fire them at SPLIT.]
[He cleaves through some with his BLADE, and outright dodges the rest. He grabs the ASTERISM-HAND and takes a bite out of it.]
["You don't have to mention it," SPLIT says, summoning the power of ASTERISM to alter MUSIC ITSELF.]
[And he's right. You DON'T have to mention it. You can't say anything.]
[You see your MOUTH fall from your face and land onto the ground. SPLIT extends a hand and crushes it in his fist.]
[POCKET | PURVIEW | PUNCH | PROTECT | PACE]
<0>
SERPENT: > Continue waiting for Robo-Adam to show up. Come on, man. We need you.
DAGOTH: > Punch-Attack Split using Split to attack Split while you attack Split with Split
CRYSTAL: > Perform a Sunslammer maneuver on Split. By which I mean, slam a Miniature Green Sun into Split.
PIONO: >The fool has frozen our CP counter at the fortuitous number. Expend 69 CP. The counter, currently frozen, will remain in place. This gives us 2 69. Summon the RULES OF THE INTERNET in all their might, and obliterate the crimson miscreant before you with them.
PARADOX: >look at the top 10 cards of the Deck and then smack Split with them
KARP: > Whack Split in the face so hard that Split turns into a Splizza
GRACIE: > just fucking tackle your fifteen year old timebrother for being a dick
TAZZ: Punch: Remove the sword from the frozen CP counter to unfreeze it. JEFF MASON 1072 CP.
GENERIC: > TAG Splıt to TOTALLY BEAN hım.
BOMBER: >You know what to do. Backwards long jump.
ETERNITIES: > Announce to Split that recent breakthroughs by Split will be highly useful for Split's latest prank on Split.
[x]
TAZZ: Then, use the sword to slash split's torso.
[> Continue waiting for Robo-Adam to show up. Come on, man. We need you.]
[You have a sinking sensation that if SPLIT saw you created a ROBOT CLONE OF HIS TECHNICAL ACTUAL FICTIONAL SELF, his rage would be enough to block out the SUN. You think about it as a last resort, however.]
[> The fool has frozen our CP counter at the fortuitous number. Expend 69 CP. The counter, currently frozen, will remain in place. This gives us 2 69. Summon the RULES OF THE INTERNET in all their might, and obliterate the crimson miscreant before you with them.]
[You attempt to use 69 CP that you've stored, but you struggle. It feels as though METATEXTUAL CHAINS wrap around you when you try to do so. You look up and see the SWORD embedded in the count. SPLIT chuckles.]
["Won't go up, won't go down. Can't touch it, can't do SHIT with it. You're STUCK here, 'JEFF,'" SPLIT says.]
[You really don't like the way he said your name.]
[> Just fucking tackle your fifteen year old time-brother for being a dick.]
[If he wants to fight you head-on, then goddamnit, you'll DO IT. You tense up and charge at SPLIT, a KALEIDOSCOPIC TRAIL eroding the ground in your wake. With all your might, you TACKLE SPLIT, the two of you skidding across the ASPHALT, clean off the ISLAND, and into THE VOID.]
[You think of something to say to SPLIT. Something to break through to him. Something about how you haven't seen him in years. About how you haven't seen him ever. About how you didn't know he existed until you got the glasses, and how by that point he was in LIMBO.]
[But you can't say anything, beacuse you have no MOUTH. And you must scream.]
[> Whack Split in the face so hard that Split turns into a Splizza.]
[So you SLAP him in the face.]
[Surprisingly, the hit connects. SPLIT tumbles away from you, his light fading. You look at your hand, smoke trailing from it, and shrug.]
[Then you hear cackling. You glance at SPLIT'S general direction.]
[His FACE has been horrifically, undisputably SMUSHED. It now sits PERPENDICULAR to the THREE SPATIAL DIMENSIONS.]
["How can it be that EVERYTHING you do to hurt me makes me STRONGER?" SPLIT yells. His HEAD begins spinning, revolving, duplicating itself.]
["NOW I AM BECOME SPLIZZA," SPLIT screams. "HASTA LA PASTA, ITALIANO."]
[SPLIT lurches across the narrative.]
[> You know what to do. Backwards long jump.]
[SPLIT flies across THE VOID, BACKWARDS. He slams into THE BAR, his body vibrating against its surface as he builds up an unbearable amount of speed. You flashstep over to him, but—]
[He's gone.]
[...]
[You hear something, at the edge of your awareness.]
["yaayyayyyyyyyayyayayyayayyyyyyyyyayyayaaayyyyayYAYAYYYYAYAYAYAYYAAYAYYAYAYYAYAYAHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO"]
[THE SPLIZZERIA, an assortment of HUNDREDS OF PARALLEL SPLITZAS, rushes at you from ALL POINTS IN SPACE AND TIME.]
[> Punch: Remove the sword from the frozen CP counter to unfreeze it. JEFF MASON 1072 CP.]
TAZZ: ((there were two parts to that and i kinda got cut off))
TAZZ: ((the other was 'cut him with it'))
TAZZ: ((apologies))
[You grab at the sword, but it BURNS your hand. You yell and pull your hand away. How could it possibly DO that?]
[You look at your fist, and see that your skin has been SEARED OFF. And not even in the FUN WAY that you did earlier.]
[THE SPLIZZERIA still looms.]
[POCKET | PURVIEW | PUNCH | PROTECT | PACE]
<0>
DAGOTH: > Present Interrobang: Interfere with the past and attack the Splizzeria so you can erase your ass-kicking from history
IRE: > POCKET: Take a mouth off one of the dead assassins from earlier, then equip it.
SERPENT: > If sound can't reach him, then light will have to do. Draw the words in the air. "I'm sorry."
PARADOX: >protect, heal thself with an infusion of Fairy Warthog tears
PIONO: >If the SPLIZZERIA is looming from all points in times and space, be in NO points in time and space. Cause all the SPLIZZAs to crash into each other when you're gone.
LEAH: > unleash the SPLIZZA GIF to make Split sick
GRACIE: > if split's here, oddventure has yet to happen. cover all of your scar but the single point at the bottom. enlist HIS help.
BOMBER: >I think the antics meter is high enough, now. Grab a phone book and call your UNCLE GRANDPA.
TAZZ: > PROTECT: Summon up the power of the INDIGO DIVIDE to create TONS OF HUNGRY TEMPORALLY-SPICED PIZZA EATERS to DEVOUR THE SPLIZZERIA.
GENERIC: > POCKET the entıre fuckıng Splızzerıa. Fuck you.
TAZZ: ((and have them defend you of course))
[x]
KARP: > Eat the Splizzeria, then digest it in Jeff's cast-iron stomach
NET: >Stop feeding Split attacks with the prompt
[> PROTECT: Summon up the power of the INDIGO DIVIDE to create TONS OF HUNGRY TEMPORALLY-SPICED PIZZA EATERS to DEVOUR THE SPLIZZERIA.]
[You're PRETTY SURE that that isn't how the INDIGO DIVIDE works. HUNGRY TEMPORALLY-SPICED PIZZA EATERS could reasonably actually exist in FICTION, after all. The INDIGO DIVIDE is for... EDGE CASES.]
[> POCKET the entire fucking SPLIZZERIA. Fuck you.]
[> You jump off the ISLAND and grow a dozen additional arms, GRABBING SPLIZZAS at random. You POCKET SIX SPLIZZAS, but the rest keep coming.]
[> POCKET: Take a mouth off one of the dead assassins from earlier, then equip it.]
[You rip off a DEAD CHURCH OF THE KILL SCREEN ASSASSIN MOUTH and pass it off as your own. You smack your lips. You feel your tongue.]
["Finally! A mouth!" you yell in the voice of a child.]
[...You sigh. Seems as though its VOICE carried over.]
[> Eat the Splizzeria, then digest it in Jeff's cast-iron stomach]
[You cannot believe that you're entertaining CANNIBALISM, but you take the SPLIZZAS out of your POCKETS and EAT THEM. You DEVOUR their SMUSHED SLICES, their bodies contorting and writhing in the VOID as they blink out of existence, their PARALLEL UNIVERSE INSTANCES collapsing.]
[That's six down, and a BAZILLION to go.]
[> If the SPLIZZERIA is looming from all points in times and space, be in NO points in time and space. Cause all the SPLIZZAs to crash into each other when you're gone.]
[You concentrate intensely as horde after horde of SPLIZZAS rush at you. Then you close both eyes and your KALEIDOSCOPIC AURA blinks off.]
[You are shunted into the SECOND DIMENSION.]
[All the SPLIZZAS bounce off of each other, colliding and cascading in midair. Some even kill each other with their own SWORDS. They look around frantically, flash-stepping, time-stopping, and leaving no stone unturned. But they don't find you.]
[> If sound can't reach him, then light will have to do. Draw the words in the air. "I'm sorry."]
[You... you concede that this might be worth a shot. Though you still exist in the SECOND DIMENSION, you let loose a tendril of your power and inscribe KALEIDOSCOPIC CHARACTERS onto the reality one dimension away.]
["I'm sorry," you write.]
[The attention of every single SPLIZZA snaps to your approximate position as they zero in on the words. You hear a raucous HOWLING sound, as though the MOON has swallowed the SUN.]
["Sorry? SORRY?? SORRY ISN'T GOOD ENOUGH AT THIS POINT!" the SPLIZZERIA yells.]
[> unleash the SPLIZZA GIF to make Split sick]
[Though you aren't fully aware from your SECOND-DIMENSIONAL CONTINUUM, the SPLIZZERIA begins to merge into one, unholy conglomerate. All their heads begin to spin. They rotate, they quiver, they shake. They pull FICTION'S axis. DAY turns to NIGHT turns to DAY.]
[The SPLIZZERIA GIF turns THE SUN AND THE MOON, and the entire SECOND DIMENSION begins spinning on its axis. You tumble every which way, up, down, left, right, until the force of your convulsions is so strong it reveals a NEW PERSPECTIVE.]
[You shudder and corruption leaks from the resulting gash as you are shunted into the THIRD DIMENSION.]
[THE SPLIZZERIA grabs you and pulls you closer to it.]
[The SPLIZZERIA throws up all over you.]
["...Oh, so you actually got sick???" you yell as VOMIT drips off of your SUIT.]
[The SPLIZZERIA chucks you kilometers below onto the asphalt of the parking lot. About two dozen more CARS blow up.]
[POCKET | PURVIEW | PUNCH | PROTECT | PACE]
<0>
CRYSTAL: > PURVIEW
DAGOTH: > PUNCH- Present Interrobang: Grab the Splizzeria and pull it through the door, then have all the other Advanced Superiots gang up on it
SERPENT: > "Then what will be enough? Will killing me really make you happy?"
CRYSTAL: > PUNCH: Use your new voice to your advantage. Yell "MOM GET THE CAMERA" with a massively amplified voice, blasting the SPLIZZERIA away with a sonic burst.
PIONO: >If Split's health is still the same, draw upon the powers of Carmen Sandiego and steal the 2 of the top of it, reducing his health to 00,000
GRACIE: > dont fight back. if you want him to accept that youre sorry you should just... surrender.
BOMBER: >Give up.
IRE: > PUNCH: Assert dominance. Vomit back onto the Splizzeria.
PARADOX: >pace
KARP: > Be the Splizzeria
ETERNITIES: > Don't steal the Splizzeria, as funny as it would be.
[x]
[> PURVIEW]
[SPLIT: 190,000 HP. Comprised of an army of hundreds of time-clones, though there is still only one prime Split. The most significant person in existence.]
[INTERROBANG: HP‽]
[The loss of 10,000 HP seems to indicate the death of some SPLIZZAS.]
[> "Then what will be enough? Will killing me really make you happy?"]
[You grimace, choking yourself. KALEIDOSCOPIC FLAME courses through your FIST and readjusts your VOCAL CORDS.]
["Then what WILL be enough?" you yell, back to normal. "Will killing me REALLY make you happy?"]
[The SPLIZZERIA falters. Multiple SPLIZZAS blink out of existence, yet the hivemind still gnashes and wails. "Of COURSE it will! You weren't there for me when it counted, so why should you get to be here NOW?!"]
["You had your chance," THE SPLIZZERIA ominously declares as it rushes towards you once more.]
[> Don't fight back. If you want him to accept that you're sorry, you should just... surrender.]
[An armada of incognizable THINGS that barely resemble SPLIT are all rushing towards you, KNIVES OUT and STARS IN THEIR EYES. You feel an innate sense of tranquility at this, as though you know what you have to do.]
[You do NOTHING.]
[The wind is howling. The SPLIZZAS continue their stampede. Sweat beads down your face.]
[A KALEIDOSCOPIC AURA charges y
[You are impaled around 327 times.]
[You stumble to your knees, faltering.]
[The INTERROBANG in your chest flickers and sputters.]
[You feel actual, genuine fear.]
["Whew! That was fun." SPLIT says. The hundreds of other SPLIZZAS blink out of existence, and SPLIT's head looks like it's all back to normal. He re-adjusts it himself, molding it like putty.]
["This is gonna sound really cliche, and, heh, it is. But... you got anything you'd like to say, 'Jeff?'"]
[...]
<0>
DAGOTH: > "suck my ass"
GENERIC: (hey whats ın our ınventory agaın)
CRYSTAL: > Say what you need to say, Jeff.
KARP: > give Split a hug
BOMBER: >You know what you have to say, Jeff.
GRACIE: > "you don't have to do this. a part of you knows that."
PIONO: > Say what you need to, Jeff. Your words are better than ours.
TAZZ: > Say it as you would.
PIONO: Wouldn't be honest if we said it for you
PARADOX: >you know what to do
TAZZ: > (also charge 3 CP when he inevitably pulls the sword out of your CP count.)
[x]
[> "Suck my ass."]
["Suck... my... ass," you say.]
[SPLIT blinks once.]
[Then twice.]
[Then he starts laughing. He starts laughing and he doesn't stop, like it's the funniest thing he's ever heard.]
[Tears are streaming from his eyes.]
["Holy SHIT," SPLIT says as he wipes out another tear. "I haven't laughed like that in GOD knows how long. That... maybe that was what I needed. Heheh. Thank you."]
[You shrug. "Of course. I always know what to say," you say.]
[SPLIT shakes his head. "I'm not talkin' to you. I'm talking to Dagoth," he says.]
["Oh," you say. "Yeah. Yeah, I guess that makes more sense."]
["But, at the same time," SPLIT says, advancing towards you. "It still *is* you, isn't it? Jeff Mason isn't your only name. You've got a bunch of others."]
["Like what?" you say.]
["Crystalcat," he says. "Pionoplayer. Bomber57. Serpent. The_Nonexistent_Tazz. igu. Some others I've never really heard before, but you know what, I can vibe."]
[Now it's your turn to laugh. "You sound just like Him," you say.]
[SPLIT chuckles. "...I wonder why," he says darkly.]
[You have not stopped noticing that you still have hundreds of SWORDS in your chest.]
<0>
PIONO: >Cool, if you know we're here, can we have INTERROBANG back? We've still got three SOUL GEMS left to collect.
DAGOTH: > Present Interrobang: Pull those swords out of past you's chest
CRYSTAL: > Actual Jeff: Apologize.
GRACIE: > ask him if he could remove these swords. the feeling of splits brother asking him to remove the swords he impaled them with feels familiar, for some reason.
BOMBER: > Apologize for real, Jeff. Don't make us do the work for you this time.
PARADOX: > Hello...also Jeff, you might need to see a doctor after this
IRE: > ...Wanna get a drink?
TAZZ: > Jeff, you know what to do, you're stalling. Better than we do, at that.
[x]
[> Jeff, you know what to do, you're stalling. Better than we do, at that.]
[You chuckle. "Doesn't mean I can't get reassurance. This is a two-way street, you know. The thought of you all leaving me is... Ugh. Don't want to think about it."]
[> Cool, if you know we're here, can we have INTERROBANG back? We've still got three SOUL GEMS left to collect.]
[SPLIT looks genuinely surprised at that. "Whoa! You're collecting Soul Gems? No way! Madoka's, like, my favorite show, you know. One of my favorites. Who cares, really. It's just..." SPLIT seems embarrassed. "I just think it's neat."]
[SPLIT rummages around in his cloak. "Anyway. You might want this, then." He tosses something through the air, and you catch it.]
[It is a trinket resembling a FABERGE EGG, and it dims with a low, red light.]
[SOUL GEMS COLLECTED: 4/6.]
["And before you ask, no, it isn't mine," SPLIT says. "As in, not MINE mine. I got it from another me."]
[> Actual Jeff: Apologize.]
["I... Split, I'm..."]
[You find the words very, very hard to say, for some reason. You can't quite form them.]
["I'm sorry. I really am. But I couldn't see you. For... a number of reasons."]
[SPLIT grimaces. "Uh-huh. What a great excuse."]
[He stalks towards you, leering at the SWORDS in your chest.]
["I was trapped in a plot hole!" you blurt out. SPLIT stops, cold.]
[It... it looks like he's shaking. He smiles, but without any warmth. "I *know* that," he says.]
["You... you do?"]
["Of COURSE I do!" SPLIT shouts. "Greenie's mind-erasing off-brand bullshit fell apart after the Shatter! When I died, when I was trapped in Limbo, I started remembering things." Split's grin intensifies into a wicked smile. "LOTS of things."]
["I know about all the people I killed on Earth," SPLIT says. "About all the times I went looking for you. About what I SAW, every single time. And I hate thinking about it and looking at it and even beginning to unravel what it all means, because it's JUST. VERY. PAINFUL."]
[SPLIT was working himself up into a state as he spoke, electricity arcing around him. Then he breathes, and he stops.]
["I know the Truth about Masonic Fiction," SPLIT says, quiet enough that if anyone else were eavesdropping, they wouldn't be able to hear.]
[You have no response to that.]
["That I'm not wholly from Nonfiction. That I'm being written, same as everyone else. And I know who's writing me."]
["But now?" SPLIT says. "Now? I think I know something that's even worse."]
<0>
LEAH: > And what's that?
BOMBER: >Get that <0> shit outta here and tell us. Please.
TAZZ: > Go on, say it.
PIONO: > Don't leave us hanging here dude.
[x]
[...]
["You asked me what my favorite albums were," you say. SPLIT nods, grinning smugly to himself. "And you figured out why, right?" he asks you.]
[You think about it to yourself. You... you have figured it out.]
["They're mine. You knew they'd be my favorites, didn't you?" you ask. SPLIT nods again. "Good guess."]
["You're a First Guardian," you say. "You know who I am. You know who I'm meant to be. And that means you..." You trail off. "What's my real name?" you ask SPLIT. He seems genuinely taken aback by the question. "What?"]
["What's my real name. If we were in NONFICTION, what would my real name be," you say.]
[He says it.]
["And what would yours be?" you say.]
["Adam..." SPLIT begins to say, but he trails off. "I... it's Adam... A..."]
[He struggles.]
[He says your real name.]
[SPLIT seems shell-shocked. He drops to the floor. "I knew it. I fucking knew it. I... I was supposed to be a split of TwinBuilder. Of Adam! The REAL Adam! But I... I'm not him! Not JUST him."]
["I'm YOU," SPLIT says. He looks at you, almost pleadingly.]
["How... how is that even possible?" SPLIT says. You're at a loss yourself.]
[SPLIT cackles. "I don't know when I figured it out. It just seemed natural to go along this path that I have. Vaporwave, after all, DOES slap. Even more than using people's heads as dinner bowls. But for so long, ever since I left the Second Godmodding War..."]
["I've felt like I was always supposed to be another person. Like I was in the wrong body, or something." SPLIT says.]
["I told Greenie... Build... that I was off to do some soul-searching. I... I guess I did."]
[You don't know what you're supposed to say. You don't know what you CAN say.]
[SPLIT looks at you, confidently. "Jeff. I don't know what to do. I don't think there's just a Great Enemy called 'I.'"]
["I think there's a Great Enemy called 'Us.'"]
["And their names are Adam and—"]
["—█████," █████ says.]
["████? ██! ██, ████ ██ █████ ███!!"]
["█████████████████████████████████"]
[████████████████████████████████████████]
[███████████████]
[████████]
█████████████████
██████
████u awaken.]
[You rub your eyes uncertainly, looking around at the wreckage of THE BAR'S little island in the VOID.]
[SPLIT is gone.]
[Someone walks up to you. "Hey, Jeff," the voice says. "Heard you needed me?"]
[You turn to ROBO-ADAM.]
["...No," you say. "It was nothing. Don't worry about a thing."]
[There is a single shard of green glass on the ground.]
<0>
PIONO: >Present Jeff: Retrieve SOUL GEM
GENERIC: > Pıck ıt up
LEAH: > Consider the ramifications of WHAT THE FUCK.
GENERIC: we have ıt ın our ınventory ıt's fıne
CRYSTAL: > ...Take the Shard.
PIONO: Oh alright
PIONO: >Take the Shard
GRACIE: > PURVIEW shard
PARADOX: >take Shard
[x]
[> Take the Shard.]
[You POCKET the GREEN GLASSES SHARD.]
[You sigh to yourself. "It's like my Father always used to say," Robo-Adam says. He lights a cigar.]
["When an unstoppable force meets an immovable object, you gotta split your infinities and run."]
[You nod.]
["Amen, brother."]
["Amen."]
[. . .]
[IN THE PRESENT DAY, you slam the door shut with as much force as you can possibly muster and spin away from the COUNCIL TABLE.]
[The eyes of the other nine SUPERIORS are upon you, burning through your soul.]
["ИНТЕРРОБАНГ," LOZENGE commands. "ЕХПЛАИН."]
<0>
KARP: > Tell them everything they need to know. But leave out the really personal soul-searching stuff.
LEAH: > "So.. What about that gusic, huh?"
GENERIC: > What's there to explaın? They have eyes and ears. Screw them ıf they thınk they're gettıng anythıng more out of you.
GRACE: > say "no talk me im angy", while slotting the fourth soul gem into the gauntlet
PIONO: > what karp said. Also Jeff Mason 1072 CP
SERPENT: > Afterward, draw a Lozenge. Time to see this smug motherfucker's secrets for a change.
BOMBER: > Assert dominance by drawing a Lozenge on the door ^
[x]
LEAH: > ^^
[> What's there to explain? They have eyes and ears. Screw them if they think they're getting anything more out of you.]
["You saw what happened, didn't you?" you say, venemously. Stars leak from your eyes. "And you heard it."]
["I had a talk with Split, after not bothering to connect with him for years. We had a heart-to-heart. That's all."]
["ТЧЕ ПРЕСЕНЦЕ ОФ А ГРЕАТ ЕНЕМЫ ЦАЛЛЕД "УС" ИС ТАНТАМОУНТ ТО БЛАСПЧЕМЫ. ТЧЕ ФАЦТ ТЧАТ ЧЕ ШАС ЕХПУНГЕД ФРОМ ТЧЕ РЕЦОРД ИС А ЦРИМЕ АГАИНСТ ГОД," LOZENGE says.]
[His anger subsides enough for him to coalesce from a COLUMN OF SMOKE, FIRE, AND FURY into a SKINBAG. "We will FIND his name, we will TRACK HIM DOWN, and—"]
["HIS NAME IS SPLIT SUNS, SHUT THE FUCK UP," you yell with seething ire.]
[Silence rings across the halls.]
["You're not getting his real name. No fucking way in hell. You don't deserve it," you spit out.]
[The ADVANCED SUPERIORS' eyes narrow.]
["...Very well," LOZENGE says. He recomposes himself. "This will be remembered."]
[> Also Jeff Mason 1072 CP]
[Oh, of course. JEFF MASON 1072 CP]
[> Afterward, draw a Lozenge. Time to see this smug motherfucker's secrets for a change.]
[You ERASE the SYMBOL on the DOOR and grin. "Hey, Lozenge. You feeling lucky tonight?"]
[LOZENGE blinks sideways. "What are you talking about," he says. His voice sounds perfectly even. You know, from experience, that this means his rage is threatening to engulf the entire room.]
[In the time it took him to say that, you already drew a LOZENGE on the DOOR.]
[The DOOR lights up with KALEIDOSCOPIC FLAME and it ACTIVATES.]
[You OPEN it.]
[. . .]
[Your name is JEFF MASON, at some point in THE RECENT PAST. Everyone around you is INCREDIBLY DRUNK.]
["So I turned to the guy, you know? I turned to him and I said, 'Listen, if you can't pay rent, that is on YOU, and you should have thought twice about getting this universe!'" LOZENGE slurs. "'N then I stabbed him."]
["How many times how many times how many times," OCTOTHORPE says. "Let me guess. Fifty."]
["Nine hundred," PILCROW says.]
["Don't be idiots, you fucking idiots," OBELUS says. "Only nine."]
[LOZENGE gasps in mock anguish. "Just the once! Why stab three times when only one will do?? Granted, I stabbed him AFTER I skewered him into the fortieth spatial dimension, so. His screams of anguish echoed to the annals of Limbo with THAT one."]
[Laughter erupts in the DRINKING CHAMBER.]
[You have never felt more uncomfortable in your life.]
<0>
PIONO: > What's in this stuff anyways?
TAZZ: > JEFF MASON 1075 CP
BOMBER: >Demand a glass of milk. It's tradition.
PARADOX: >look if anyone else is as uncomfortable as you are
LEAH: > What the fuck are you drinking? Some of black sperm
LEAH: FU8VUHHBUG4TYFPSDH
[x]
[> JEFF MASON 1075 CP]
LEAH: > What the fuck are you drinking? Some of black sperm's special charhge
[JEFF MASON 1075 CP]
[> What's in this stuff anyways?]
[They refuse to partake in anything but BLACK SPERM-BRAND ESSENCE. Gets them all charged up and raring to go, so they say. Excites them on ALL ideal dimensions. What a bunch of bullshit.]
[Even if you WERE a ninth-dimensional serpentine supercell powered by a typographical stain on the canvas of reality, you wouldn't TOUCH the fucking stuff.]
[> Look if anyone else is as uncomfortable as you are.]
[Of course not. THEY'RE all having one HELL of a time. The nine ADVANCED SUPERIORS are hooting and hollering and sharing whatever fucked-up stories they care to imagine.]
[> Demand a glass of milk. It's tradition.]
[Who the hell do you think you're talking to? You're on your tenth glass.]
<0>
LEAH: > Hunt down DOT. Is she serving the drinks?
TAZZ: > JEFF MASON 1078 CP
IRE: > CHUG CHUG CHUG- also, see if there's a way out of this place? Gotta get some fresh air.
GRACE: > tell your OWN fucked up and oddly funny story. recount to them the plot of[7x7].
PARADOX: >go see Ampersand i guess
GENERIC: > Present Interrobang: Facepalm, but lıke ın a way that doesn't constıtute a use of your ınterference opportunıty
[x]
[> JEFF MASON 1078 CP]
[JEFF MASON 1078 CP]
[> CHUG CHUG CHUG — also, see if there's a way out of this place? Gotta get some fresh air.]
[Of course there isn't. You're not leaving without them, as mandated by the official ADVANCED SUPERIOR CODE OF CONDUCT, which is absolutely a thing that totally exists.]
[You do continue to CHUG CHUG CHUG, though. That's the good stuff.]
[> Hunt down DOT. Is she serving the drinks?]
[DOT? You mean the TESSERACT that helped out THE OVERSEER himself? She isn't here, but you COULD summon her here, if you felt so inclined.]
[The other SUPERIORS are still up to their hellish antics, though. Who knows what their PEANUT GALLERY might entail? They'd just say dumb bullshit and leave open a plethora of avenues for them to EMBARRASS THEMSELVES.]
[...Wait.]
[Of course.]
[SCHADENFREUDE could make this night INFINITELY more interesting.]
[> Go see Ampersand I guess.]
[You get up from your seat next to LOZENGE and begin walking over to INTERROBANG. LOZENGE, fuzzily, notices you. "Whoa, what, Interrobang? Where you going?"]
["To sit next to my very best friend Ampersand, obviously," you say. AMPERSAND gasps. "No way! ME? I'M your best friend???"]
[You nod and shoot LOZENGE a wink. He's practically seething with anger. You can see the SPADES in his head turning.]
[You sit next to AMPERSAND, satisfied.]
<0>
NET: >Deduplicate self, there's two of you somehow?
NET: >SCHADENFREUDE! SCHADENFREUDE! SCHADENFREUDE!
LEAH: > Grab some METATEXTUAL SPLIZZA LIQUOR to sober AMPERSAND up. Leave everyone else drunk.
GRACE: > repress a soft "eep" when ampersand inevitably leans on your shoulder in a drunken stupor
PARADOX: > consdier metaphysics with AMPERSAND
CRYSTAL: > repress a soft "eep" when ampersand inevitably leans on your shoulder in a drunken stupor
SPLASH: > Briefly turn your pupils spade-shaped and shoot Lozenge another wink
BOMBER: > repress a soft "eep" when ampersand inevitably leans on your shoulder in a drunken stupor
[x]
[> Deduplicate yourself, there's two of you somehow?]
[You look at the other INTERROBANG that is flickering where you once stood. You blink, and he's gone. BLACK SPERM-BRAND ESSENCE has the uncanny ability to do such weird things to people's... ESSENCE, sometimes. Even secondhand exposure can do it. YOU'RE NEVER SAFE.]
[> Repress a soft "eep" when Ampersand inevitably leans on your shoulder in a drunken stupor.]
[Not five seconds pass and AMPERSAND inevitably leans on your shoulder in a drunken stupor. ASTERISM smirks and flickers with gold energy. The resulting sound you make is amplified to ear-splitting levels.]
["******EEP******"]
[All eyes turn to the sight of AMPERSAND resting contentedly on your shoulder.]
[Then they turn to the sight of LOZENGE, staring at you, mouth agog.]
[Everyone begins cackling with laughter.]
["CUCKED. CUCKED. CUCKED. CUCKED," they all shout at LOZENGE, pointing at him.]
[> Briefly turn your pupils spade-shaped and shoot Lozenge another wink.]
[You do exactly that.]
[LOZENGE'S face briefly unglues itself as a plume of SMOKE and GEOMETRY shoots out from the holes in his facade, but he quickly corrects his mistake. He breathes deeply.]
["Okay, everyone!" he booms, and everyone quiets down. "I propose a toast! To Interrobang, the Head of God himself! You know, without his power and awesomeness and charisma and fucking insufferable attitude, we wouldn't BE here!"]
[LOZENGE leers at you. "What say we all donate our lovely drinks to HIM, hmm? See if he can take it?"]
[You gulp.]
<0>
KARP: > Challenge Lozenge to a good old-fashioned devil-style drinking contest. Complete with singing.
GENERIC: > Are these chumps even goıng to notıce ıf we fake ıt?
GRACE: > your iron stomach will not do. you need an ANTIMATTER STOMACH right now.
IRE: > CHUG. CHUG. CHUG.
LEAH: > Get that METATEXTUAL SPLIZZA LIQUOR ready. Wink suavely at AMPERSAND and ignore what a HORRIBLE IDEA this is.
CRYSTAL: > Devil-style drinking contest. With singing. Go.
PIONO: > Challenge Lozenge to a drinking contest
[x]
CAU: >cheat this drinking contest by creating a miniature portal in your stomach
[> Challenge Lozenge to a good old-fashioned devil-style drinking contest. Complete with singing.]
[You quiet down the crowd of SUPERIORS, who have begun "ooooh"ing like SCHOOLCHILDREN. "I accept your offer, Lozenge!" you say. "But... with a catch!"]
[LOZENGE's eyebrow raises, along with something else. His curiosity. "Oh?"]
[You adjust your GLASSES like GENDO IKARI. "We drink like devils, the old-fashioned way, complete with singing."]
[LOZENGE pretends to ponder this for like four seconds and then bursts out laughing. "IT'S A DEAL, 'BANG!"]
[The other SUPERIORS begin pounding their fists against the table, providing a low, resounding, DRUM BEAT. Pink sparks fill the air.]
["ALL COPS ARE BASTARDS BUT YOU'LL FIND THERE'S NONE AS BAD AS WE, WE SERVE THE LAW FROM HIGH ABOVE, THE GODLY NAME OF 'ME.' OUR BODIES STRONG, OUR SOULS, DIVINE, YET WE CAN BARELY THINK: UNLESS WE CURSE THE PATH WE WALK AND TAKE A FUCKING *DRINK!*"]
[The cheers resound across the table. LOZENGE stares you down.]
[He starts to sing.]
["MY NAME IS LOZENGE, AT THE MIDDLE OF THIS PACK OF SNAKES. I PROVE THE OLD ADAGE, THAT I'M AS REAL AS YOU ARE FAKE. YOU MIGHT DISMISS MY TALENT AS I'M NOT AS PLAIN AS WAR OR SONG, BUT I'M THE SHAPER OF THE SHAPES, AND SHAPES ARE NEVER *WRONG.*"]
<0>
KARP: > Let Jeff take this one.
SPLASH: > You might have the shapes, but you don't have my flow. I'm Interrobang, the Head of God, him of the rainbow glow.
GRACIE: > warp the phonetics of your language so that whatever you say rhymes
BOMBER: >"SURE WE KNOW YOUR NAME, BUT WHO CARES WHO YOU ARE? MY NAME'S INTERROBANG AND I'M THE REAL STAR. THEY'RE IN MY EYES, ON MY MIND, ALL OF ME, ALL MINE. YOU COULD NEVER HOPE TO SURPASS MY SKILLS SO FINE."
PIONO: My name is the symbol that marks "Head of God" I've lives both of aperture and Masons most Odd
[x]
[> SING.]
[> "SURE WE KNOW YOUR NAME, BUT WHY SHOULD I CARE WHO YOU ARE? MY NAME'S INTERROBANG, AND THEY ALL KNOW I'M THE REAL STAR. I MARK THE HEAD OF GOD, CONTROLLING ALL THE RAINBOWS' GLOW. I'VE LIVED TWO LIVES: IN APERTURE, AND IN THE MASON'S SHOW."]
[The two of you DRINK. And DRINK. And DRINK. BLACK SPERM flies every which way. The afterimages of the greatest DEVILS flood the room.]
[LOZENGE sings.]
["I HAVE IT ON AUTHORITY THAT WE ARE NUMBER ONE. BY 'WE,' I MEAN ALL THESE DIMENSIONS, ALL UNDER THE SUN. I'VE TIME AND SPACE AND LIFE AND SOUL AND I CAN CHANGE THEIR TUNES. GEOMETRY DIMENSIONAL, HID UNDERNEATH THE MOON."]
<0>
PIONO: >Of all the Superiors symbols, one by one they rang. But best's saved for last, spell my name with a bang!
LEAH: > TAKE THE MOON AND SHOVE IT HI, LEST YOU CALL UPON THE KALADEOSCOPIC EYE
CRYSTAL: > Piono's, but "Of all the cursèd symbols"
KARP: > You say you're number one, and I find that at that I must scoff! To everyone your name just sounds a cure for a real nasty cough!
PARADOX: > Serpent tails and age old tales, I'm the master that Superior Pales
GRACE: Sleight of God-head-lights in ancient fire pyrrhic, ten colours blended like acryllics, texts cyrillic,
SPLIT: > i close my eyes and seize it, i clench my fists and beat it, refine my fire and burn it, . is the beast we worship
NET: > You might be important but you cannot even rhyme, and you'd best watch out buddy because I'm above spacetime - I know every word of Fiction and it's all in my control, do you really think you've got the best when I can read your soul?
GRACE: vehicle of miracles implicitly exhibited, inhibited by destiny - the ninth serpent's not besting me!
[x]
[> SING.]
["THE MOON WAS SHOT IN TRIAL SIX, SO TAKE YOUR OWN AND SHOVE IT. YOU'LL FIND THAT MY ELECTRIC EYE WAS LURKING JUST ABOVE IT. THE SLEIGHT OF GOD-HEAD-LIGHTS MY WORDS, CEMENTING MY OWN DESTINY. TEN COLORS BURNING BRIGHTER THAN FIRE, THE NINTH SERPENT'S NOT BESTING ME!"]
[You DRINK, and you DRINK, and you DRINK, and you DRINK. The room is rent into a whirlpool. All the other SUPERIORS blend together, but they egg you on.]
["ENOUGH OF ALL THESE GAMES, WE ALL KNOW THAT'S ALL THAT YOU ARE. A GAME INSIDE A SNAKE INSIDE A MASON FROM AFAR. THE PRIDE OF YOUR OWN SPECTRUM IS MISPLACED, BESTOWED UPON YOU BY ANOTHER. HOW DOES IT FEEL TO BE UPSTAGED BY YOUR OWN KINDA-BROTHER?!"]
[> SING AGAIN.]
["YOU'VE GOT NO LEG TO STAND ON, LOZENGE, YOU'RE ALREADY EXTINGUISHED. I GNAWED IT OFF LIKE CALIBORN, CALL ME THE LORD OF ENGLISH. I KNOW EVERY WORD OF FICTION AND IT'S ALL IN MY CONTROL. DO YOU REALLY THINK YOU'VE GOT THE BEST WHEN I CAN READ YOUR SOUL?!"]
["DRINK. DRINK. DRINK. DRINK."]
[LOZENGE'S face doesn't even resemble a person's anymore. The fire he's spitting is LITERAL.]
["YOU FUCKING CHILD, CURSING WITH BRAVADO UNBEFITTING. YOU AREN'T ON YOUR LEVEL, AS WE STAND HERE YOU'RE JUST SHITTING. AND SITTING, TOO! — WE STAND AS ONE, BEHOLDING OUR TRUE KING. THE SIXTY-FOUR BIT NAME OF GOD, THE NAME THAT WE ALL *SING.*"]
[> OH, HE THINKS HE CAN SING? DOES HE? DOES HE REALLY???]
["YOU THINK YOU'RE NUMBER ONE? YOU'RE NUMBER FORTY-NINE AT BEST. YOUR SERPENT TAILS ARE AGE OLD TALES, I'LL INTER YOU TO REST. YOUR NAME SOUNDS LIKE A COUGH, AND SO DOES ALL THAT STUFF YOU 'SANG.' BUT I'M NOT GOING WITH A WHIMPER, SPELL MY NAME WITH A *BANG!*"]
["DRINK. DRINK. DRINK. DRINK. DRINK. DRINK. DRINK. DRINK. DRINK. DRINK. DRINK. DRINK. DRINK."]
[LOZENGE resembles THE OVERSEER in all but name.]
["WHAT'S THE USE OF FEELING? WHY DO YOU HAVE TO BE MAD? YOUR IRE SEETHES JUST LIKE A FIRE, IT'S PATHETIC AND IT'S SAD. BE LIKE US ALL, CLOSE OFF YOUR MIND, DON'T CARE AND YOU WILL SEE — THAT ENDING ALL YOUR SUFFERING IS *HOW THE WORLD SHOULD BE.*"]
[The fire dies.]
[You suddenly don't really care about the contest anymore.]
[Or about anything.]
[A crushing apathy pervades your spirit.]
[The music falters. The Superiors' chants fade.]
[...]
<0>
PIONO: Round my head run brilliant rings, kaleidoscopic fire. From Indigo Uncertainty down to Refiner's Ire. Though I may have been mortal once, I'll show for once and all What once was man can rise above, and answer heaven's call.
SPLASH: > I'll tell you what you're hearing now: The explicit name of me. I'm something that you can't control. It's
LEAH: > DRINK WHILE YOU CAN, DRINK WHILE YOU LAST, ONCE THIS IS DONE YOU'LL BE BUT GOD'S TRASH.
SPLASH: How the World Should Be.
PARADOX: >I am Armaggedon's Wish, the Secret of Hiss. The message in the Bottle from the past t the future, I've seen it all and it I'll say it again. I'm the Head of God, the World as it Should Be
GRACIE: Behold the rhymes almighty, and how they flow so free...
SERPENT: Then perish.
GRACIE: ...my name is JEFF MASON, and I charge three more CP
KARP: > The WORLD SHOULD BE's a mighty thing, but how it *IS* is better. I'll take this tune right to the end, unbound by any fetter!
NET: > Your apathy's atrocious and your sabotage is weak - I burn with rainbow's light in my glorious metaphysique - Your rhythm is atrocious and you have failed to rhyme / this challenge, friend, is over, and the victory's all mine / your last verse was atonal and you're going way off-key / put a 'bang on the victory cup, for the victor here is me!
KARP: > The drinking game's gone long enough; meanwhile, in the future, Jeff stands up, hits Lozenge so hard he'll need a massive suture!
GENERIC: We're gonna cut you down so hard and pıle on the sutures You're gonna feel ıt even now: MEANWHILE, IN THE FUTURE
BOMBER: > You think you have me schooled, I say you've barely even read. All that confidence you got is merely ALL IN YOUR HEAD.
PARADOX: > Here's is the Question and here is my Answer, I'm the Godhead, the Future's Past. Thus i can say, to your dismay; I've already won; meanwhile, in the future
SPLIT: > and in case you were searching for some frantic last recourse / i can only laugh and say to you "my peanus weanus, of course!"
[x]
["THE WORLD SHOULD BE'S A MIGHTY THING, BUT THAT'S ALL JUST PRETEND. I'LL UNBIND THIS TUNE AND ROUND THE INEVITABLE END. YOU THINK YOU HAVE ME SCHOOLED, I SAY YOU'VE BARELY EVEN READ. YOUR CONFIDENCE'S FICTITIOUS, AND IT'S ALL IN YOUR HEAD. BEHOLD MY RHYMES ALMIGHTY, AND HOW THEY FLOW SO FREE! MY NAME IS JEFFREY MASON, AND I CHARGE THREE MORE CP."]
["YOU ASKED A QUESTION, IN YOUR HASTE, YOU DIDN'T LET ME GUESS. SO LET ME SAY THAT I'M THE ANSWER, AND MY ANSWER IS 'YES.' YOUR APATHY'S ATROCIOUS AND YOUR SABOTAGE IS WEAK — KALEIDOSCOPIC POWER LIGHTS MY OWN METAPHYSIQUE. I'VE CUT YOU DOWN SO HARD THAT YOU'LL NEED 7x7 SUTURES — YOU'RE GONNA FEEL IT EVEN NOW, MEANWHILE, IN THE FUTURE."]
["ROUND MY HEAD RUN BRILLIANT RINGS, MY WORD IS LIKE A FIRE. FROM INDIGO UNCERTAINTY DOWN TO REFINER'S IRE. THOUGH I WAS MORTAL ONCE, I ROSE ABOVE WHAT I COULD BE. I'LL TELL YOU WHAT YOU'RE HEARING NOW: THE EXPLICIT NAME OF *ME.*"]
["...And in case you thought that you could find some frantic last recourse..."]
["...I can only laugh and say to you,"]
["MY"]
["PEANUS"]
["WEANUS"]
["OF"]
["COURSE!!!!!!!!!"]
[...]
[...]
[...]
[JEFF MASON 1081 CP]
[1 + 0 + 8 + 1 = 10]
[Checkmate.]
<0>
IRE: OOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
PIONO: > Lozenge: explode
CRYSTAL: OHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
GENERIC: EYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY
KARP: OHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
BOMBER: OHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
SPLASH: > Slow clap.
PIONO: OHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
POPE: OHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
PARADOX: >OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
LEAH: /--GhtyjuhrhrjykjHghNMKJUHgbnmrjhG
NET: Ohh.
SPLIT: OOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
GRACIE: YOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
[x]
[UNEARTHLY, POWERFUL SCREAMS fill the DRINKING CHAMBER. They come not from the SUPERIORS, but from YOU. They pour out of your mouth, never-ending, unceasing, all-powerful. They are the shouts made when someone...]
[...Has just been FUCKING OWNED.]
[OCTOTHORPE, PILCROW, AMPERSAND, ASTERISM, BACKSLASH, OBELUS, CARET, and DAGGER all stand, applaud, and cheer. There is no doubt about who won the contest.]
[Though you are so DRUNK that you can barely stand, you can see ghostly afterimages in front of you.]
[A CRYSTALLINE CAT... A POPE... SPLIT... THE DESTROYER... THE FACE OF CAPITALISM... SOMEONE SITTING UPSIDE-DOWN ON A CHAIR... And many more. They are all cheering for you.]
[AMPERSAND and ASTERISM look at you, enraptured, with total awe.]
[They hug you.]
[You have never been so happy in your entire life.]
[LOZENGE sits back down in his chair, blushing intensely. He is at a loss for words.]
[And for now, so are you.]
[. . .]
[You are now INTERROBANG, in THE PRESENT DAY.]
[You have absolutely zero recollection of the events that took place behind that DOOR.]
[And yet, you have no doubt that they happened. You are completely certain of it.]
[BLACK SPERM is one hell of a drink.]
[You glance at LOZENGE. He's... blushing.]
[You smirk.]
 <0>
SERPENT: Carve a twisted horn into the door. A selfish request, I know, but I'm curious.
CRYSTAL: > Bask in that pure and absolute glory.
IRE: > Dab. Real deep.
NET: > Hexagon?
SPLASH: > Glance at Ampersand. See how he reacts.
GRACIE: > declare that you could easily pull something up like that again if any other superior fucked with you
BOMBER: >With the wind in your sails, draw a little boat.
PIONO: >Twisted Horn, why not
PIONO: We got to see Ire after all
PARADOX: >twisted horn
GENERIC: > draw some shades lmao
SPLASH: > Then draw red glasses
CRYSTAL: > Twisted Horn
[x]
[> Bask in that pure and absolute glory.]
[Oh, you are. Trust you. You have the smuggest shit-eating grin on your fucking face.]
[> Dab. Real deep.]
[Nah. You're not THAT self-abso—oh who are you kidding. You pull the DEEPEST, DARKEST DAB in RECORDED HISTORY.]
[> Declare that you could easily pull something up like that again if any other superior fucked with you.]
[At the zenith of your DAB, you glance at the other nine SUPERIORS.]
[The message is implicit, tacit, and clear.]
[They all nod.]
[> Glance at Ampersand. See how he reacts.]
[He is smirking as well. You quickly look away.]
[> Twisted Horn.]
[You ERASE the prior SYMBOL and draw a TWISTED HORN onto the DOOR.]
[ORCHID LIGHT floods the doorframe and—]
[...Huh. That hasn't happened before.]
[You cautiously turn the knob and OPEN the DOOR.]
[. . .]
["Y0UR NAME 1S JEFF MAS0N," PROJECT BINARY says. "1S 1T N0T?"]
[> END OF PART 5 <]

[WORLD SHOULD BE will continue at an indeterminate date.]
[I'm Interrobang.]
[Stay tuned.]