Thread 87: Stories 61-73

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>Applejack
"SA"
'2'
~~~~

>Ya'll leavin'?

The prince gave an easy, relaxed nod, rolling one of his shoulders none too subtly. Beside him, Two remained bouncing with an ever endless energy.

'Sorry Applejack Prime, but we gotta get back before Not-Mom does somethin' ta' make ya' mad at her, we're onna roll!'

"...Not the real reason, but yeeeep. Think it's time I got all of them home. Gonna say our goodbyes and head out."

'SHOTGUN!'

He didn't so much as flinch as she shot out the door, so quickly Applejack swore she saw a little after image in her wake.

>...Shotgunnin' what?

"That'll hit her in a minute or two."

>Ah... well, Ah' guess whenever ya' go, be sure ta'... you know. Tell Chrysalis Ah' said thanks. Feel a mite bad now Ah' didn't get her nothin'.

"She understands, trust me. She wasn't planning to either until Two convinced her."

>Heh, little thing could convince the rain ta' go back up ta' the clouds.

"That she could."

He paused, oddly enough, as if he had suddenly thought of something but could not yet put it into words.

"...Thanks, by the way."

>Told ya'll, yer' welcome over here anytime.

"Not that, it's..."

He sighed, causally glancing back, and only relaxing when he ensured that Chrysalis was well out of earshot.

"...It's about that gift."

>Ah... well, like Ah' said, tell her thanks...

She joined him in that feeling, of being unable to put into words exactly what she wished to say.

>...It meant a lot that Ah' could finally just... show her. She's seen pictures, o' course, but ta' see 'em like they were, hear 'em like Ah' did... that was somethin' Ah' couldn't give ta' her before today.

"Yeah... it meant a lot to Chrysalis too."

She didn't bother hiding her looks as her eyes fluttered rapidly, unsure and utterly confused.

>...Come again?

"Look, I know she's never going to say it out loud, but... meant a lot to her that you trusted her enough to use that thing. I know she can be... scary with her mind powers sometimes, and she knows it's scary sometimes too, especially after what she did to me and Sunset, so... meant a lot that you would still give her a shot with it, and take her gift as it was. She wouldn't have blamed you if you didn't use it, nobody would have. So, when you did anyway... meant something, you know?"

He shrugged, deciding that was plenty enough. Nothing more to be said, really. As much as his words shocked her, Applejack had to agree.

>Heh... don't let the youngin' stay up too late. They get real rowdy in the mornin' if they don't get some down time after a big thing.

"Oh, my parents are going to get to deal with that this year. "

>Oh?

"Yeeeep..."

He looked back giving her an absolutely wicked smirk.

"I still have to give the others their present."

Without waiting for any sort of reaction on her part, he continued on, out the door were his daughter was frantically running back and forth, having gotten distracted from her earlier mission quite easily in favor of chasing Winona around the yard.

The moment the door closed, Applejack let her brow come together in confusion.

>...Now what the hay did he mean by that.. and do Ah' wanna know?

....

>....Nope. Nope Ah' do not.

_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________

~~~~~~

They were leaving.

One by one by one by one, they were leaving.

Well wishing and happy waving, but all the same they were leaving. It was time, at last. Time to send off, time to be on their way, time to rest from the excitement and time to get ready for what was to come again tomorrow.

She saw every one of them off, and of course they all thanked her for the wonderful time, even if some of those thanks came in the form of a slightly raised look from the Queen of the changelings herself. They filed out in their own special ways, from Rarity's subtle exit to Pinkie's bombastic cheers as she was pulled off into the night by her entourage or changeling sled-dogs, they all made their way on where they were going until only a select few were left.

There was her, of course, she was going to be spending at least till the morning with her family before she headed off. There was the ones who lived here, obviously, though it seemed Applebloom was not long for the waking world and Mac was walking her off to bed, and Granny was almost certainly seconds away from snoring herself. Them aside, there was only one more individual left in the room...

"Why're ya' waitin' around?"

The other occupant gave her a simple look, the unsaid words of 'you know why' remaining just that, unsaid.

"Figures."

Still, even with that bit of grumpiness to her tone she sat down next to the only other one in the now empty room that had once been filled to the brim, and they waited.

And waited.

And waited.

"Is he gonna' show up or what?"

The other remained silent, still as silent as the falling snow outside. They remained that way for as long as they could.

But, eventually, there came a point where even that ran out.

"Discord, please come here."

At the behest of her pink manes, yellow coated companion, at last something changed. Her floorboards seemed to come to life, curling inwards until they took on a serpent like shape.

A serpent like shape with a wide, snide little grin.

"Why, Fluttershy! How nice to see you on this Heath's Warming Day... or night, rather. Hold up."

With a snap of his fingers, the dim lights outside turned bright and sunny.

"There we go! Heath's Warming D-"

With a stamp of her hoof, that light became dim once more.

"Oh, must you poop on my party so?"

Everyone in the room was at least a little thankful he didn't visualize that phrase as he so often did.

That aside, Applejack was less than happy.

"Why, whatever is the matter oh princess of farming, paperwork and giving dragons the occasional awkward stiffy? Didn't you enjoy my little Hearth's Warming gift?"

He curled around her, shifting and changing until he was the size of a teacup and nestled softly in her hat.

"Why, without me, this whole thing would have been so boring, no? I really think I outdid myself here. Step aside, Rarity! The real king of the gifts has taken his place!"

He poofed, suddenly in regal attire and being carried around by tiny little similes of her and her friends.

Through it all, Applejack frowned, silent.

"Well? Nothing? No thanks for all the work I did? HMPH! And you try to be nice to someone! Really, Fluttershy, I think you need to stop hanging out...."

It was rare, if ever, that one saw the lord of all chaos so utterly lost, frozen and speechless as he was.

But, if there was ever an event to make this happen, Fluttershy shuffling back away from his outstretched claw and staring at him with nothing but disappointment was certainly it.

"...Oh, I see how this is, the silent treatment! Well, far be it from me to be outshone!"

He snapped his fingers, and it was as if the world had become a vacuum, empty and voided. It was silent, nothingness all around.

For the brief second it lasted, it was maddening. The stamp of the hoof that dispelled it was nothing short of a relief.

"...Fluttershy, dear? You really shouldn't be overdoing your little trick, otherwise you might-"

"I'm fine, thank you."

The first words she had spoken, and from the look on his face you would swear she had just insulted his mother.

"You're fine? Really now?"

Back to silence, and it was just as bad this go round.

"Well! If you all have merely called me here to stare at me awkwardly but say no more, than I shall take my leave-"

"Applejack left your Apple Fritter in the corner."

His words died on his tongue. Literally, if one looked close enough they could see tiny words falling down dead as if struck by a plague within his mouth.

"...Apple Fritter?"

"It's next to your presents."

He shrank.

Without meaning to, thinking of it or even questioning it, he began to shrink, and shrivel up as he weightlessly floated over to the end of the room.

There it was, sure enough. A long cold, slightly dry apple fritter, and a tiny little bundle of presents, all with his name adorned on them. Still there, untouched.

The first one floated into his grasp, moving up slowly as if pulled by a string. He didn't open the gift, content to merely stare at the box.

"...Oh, I see how this is, you've decided to tug at my heartstrings? Make me feel bad for all I've done so far? Well, I-"

"Usually when someone give ya' a gift, it's cause they want ya' ta' feel happy. Sounds ta' me like the problem ain't us."

He couldn't argue that, no matter how many sprockets and wheels came out of his head and spun away. Eventually, they overheated and broke, and like a machine who's innards had snapped he slumped in his posture, the unopened gift now limp in his claws.

"...Nobody's around anymore."

He didn't bother hiding how bitter he sounded, or looked for that matter. Same texture as sandpaper, they would have sworn.

"Guess ya' should'a came earlier."

"Well, you didn't call me earlier!"

"Last Ah' checked, Ah' invited ya'. Didn't need more than that ta's how up, Ah' reckon."

Again, he was left without arguments, or rebuttals.

"...Why'd you do it?"

It was a simple question, only matched in it's simplicity by the sad tone that accompanied it.

"...It's what I do..."

It was his answer, and to him it made all the sense in the world.

But to them, it, all it meant was that they gave each other a sad, pained glance, and couldn't look at him anymore.

"Oh, come now! I'm the lord of chaos!"

The room changed, becoming a literal world of insanity as reality warped into a terrifying facsimile of an amusement park."

"I am the master of chaos, the unpredictable prince of it's power! You can't expect me to not have a little fun every now and again!"

At last, Applejack made a move, floating in the crazed abyss until she poked him right in the chest.

"Ya' call that fun!? Ya' dang near beat mah' family cross!"

"Ah ah ah! No no! I made sure those Wendigos never once touched a single hair on Applebloom's or dear Granny's head!... Excepting the start, of course."

"YA' RAN HER OVER!"

"Well, nothing less was going to get her moving, was it? Quite the stubborn old mule... pardon the phrase."

He snapped his fingers again, bringing reality back to as it was before.

She growled, shoving off from him and crossing her forelegs as she turned her back to the chaos being.

"...Just take yer' dang Apple Fritter and get outta mah' house. Ain't nothin' left ta' say."

"Really? Come now, you surely want to take me to task again! Really rage at me, tear me a new one? I believe you even mentioned choking the life out of me? Well..."

He vanished, reappearing betwixt her front hooves.

"Here you are! Have at thee, as the moon-loving one would say!"

Instead, she just let him go, and continued on. When he looked to Fluttershy for any sort of support on this, all he gained was a shrug, and her looking away.

"...I think you should go, Discord."

And he had enough.

"What does it take to get noticed by you ponies!?"

SNAP!

The room was suddenly fire, a blazing inferno of rage and horror. Twisted monsters snapped from every corner, horrifying things crawling out of the crevasses and cracks in the world. Screeching, roaring an snarling as they loomed over the two ponies.

They were gone just as suddenly as they had come.

"Stop that!"

SNAP!

Again and again he brought them back, bigger, meaner every time.

Again and again they were sent away, gone without a trace or a care.

"I said stop it!"

SNAPSNAPSNAPSNAPSNAPSNAPSNAPSNAPSNAPSNAPSNAP

Gone.

"Ahhh!"

He reeled back in horror a bit as the yellow former pegasus cried out, curling her head into her hooves to stifle the sparks of tye-dye colors that bled off her horn. He backed away as far as he could manage, so much so he literally flattened to the wall until he looked like he had been painted onto it.

Both he, and the equally terrified orange alicorn, looked on with bated breath as she thrashed for a bit, horn sparking and hair seeming to come alive and snapping every which way... until, with time, it calmed, and she could breath again.

"...Was that just ya'll 'havin' some fun' too?"

Shame.

It was a rare, almost never felt feeling for the being who could be and do anything he wanted, but it was something that was crushing him, right at this very moment. Every second he watched her eyes flutter a bit to clear the daze from her head, as she slowly controlled that which should not be controllable, it was as if a weight pressed down on his head.

"Whelp, ya' missed the party, ya' didn't get ta' spend any time with anyone and now ya' gave Fluttershy a headache... This was fun ta' you?"

Then came the rage.

Then came Applejack's turn to be poked in the chest.

"At least I pay attention to my friends! Hrmph! Friends, yet not a one of you was even worried about me all day today!'

"Ya' sicced some dang ice horses on us."

"Or any day, for that matter!"

"...What?"

"Don't give me that! How long has it been since you've even cared to ask how I was doing, hmm? How long have I just been forced to float about, completely unable to do much of anything, all because I can't stick around my REAL friend for too long because she might drain too much of my power again and go crazy! HMM!? You ponies always talk about friendship and togetherness and blah blah blah, but I've certainly seen none of that!"

"Really."

"Yes, really!"

"Then what're these?"

With that, she held up one of the still unopened presents.

And once more, the world was gifted with the rare sight of Discord, speechless.

"...They don't necessarily mean anything!"

"Then why ain't they in the fire right now?"

And again once more.

"...I just don't want to-"

"I know..."

Her voice, soft and angelic as it was, was enough to break him from the locked gaze he shared with the orange alicorn. As was the soft touch of her hoof on his multi-textured body.

He tried to shy away.

She didn't let him.

"I know... it can be hard when you're in the background, not really being the big star that everyone sees, not being the most important thing with undivided attention, I know what that's like... even if I like it better. But Discord, we would've seen you plenty... if you had just been here."

He winced, finally managing to shy away from her.

"But then what about tomorrow? Or the tomorrow after tomorrow after tomorrow and so on?"

"Discord, it's not a one way street. I get why you can't be around me too much... but what about them?"

She gestured to an empty room, but the moment her hoof waved ever so slightly a strange sight emerged. An almost holographic photo of the party that had been, frozen in time, emerged and hung there as a reminder to him, and to all.

"There are so many others who you could see as well..."

He let out a scoff, snapping his fingers and adorning them with fake mustaches and googly eyes.

"...But they're not like YOU."

"No, they're not like me... and they never will be. If you can't accept that... how can they accept you?"

He huffed, he snapped, he frowned.

But he didn't answer.

"Discord..."

"I'm not someone who can get forgotten, I'm not. I'm the lord of all chaos, the most powerful thing in the world! You can't just forget about me!"

A tin, filled with dry, crumbling, cold treats were placed in his claws before he knew it.

"...we never did."

And he was done.

"Well, ya' missed the party, sad ta' say. So iffin' ya' want ta-"

"Happy Hearth Warming, Fluttershy."

Gone.

With a puft of smoke, he was gone. Gone before she could lecture or criticize him. Gone without a trace, and without a tell-tale buzz in Fluttershy's wings to tell her he was there.

"...friggen jerk."

"He was so sad."

Her voice broke Applejack's heart, but there was nothing to do about it.

"Well, he missed this party... let's hope he catches the next one so Ah' can chew him out right."

"..."

"Ya' gonna be okay?"

She didn't look to the orange pony. Her eyes, and gaze, were too strongly locked where he had been.

Locked onto the boxes that became clear as his smoke wafted away, each one cleanly wrapped and elegantly made.

One with each of their names on it.

"...Yeah, I think I will..."

Away, on the very moon itself, he laid back in a chair, letting the gifts that had been given to him by the others float around him, all unopened. He looked down on the planet below, with a frown on his face, and an odd twitch to his claws.

Slowly, one claw reached up, and popped a tiny chunk of apple fritter into his mouth.

It tasted bitter as he though about what he had done, both what they knew... and all they didn't.

So much, they didn't.

"Happy Hearth Warming, Discord."

If it had been a foot or a million billion miles, he would have heard her.

And if he had been a foot or a trillion zillion miles, it would have made him feel all the same.

"...I think I might have gone overboard, just a bit..."

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>Chrysalis
"Celestia"
'???'
[18]
{42}
~???~
-???-
~~~~~

>I'm not the only one who's a little worried, am I?

The others sitting around the not-too-large, not-too-small circular table all shared a glance with one another, silently agreeing to the changeling Queen's words. The assorted group of Celestia, Eighteen and Forty Two all felt no shortage of unease as they sipped on the beverages that had been waiting for them in their marked chairs.

"I'm... not sure what's going to happen, but from the look on her face..."

[You think she's just going to drop slime on us or something?]

{Don't be silly, Cadence would never do that... Majesty, stop trying to shift your chair, they're bolted to the floor.}

>...

{I know that because of reasons. Unrelated reasons.}

>I just feel like the hammer's about to drop, you know?

"Yes.... Eighteen? Any chance you want to swap?"

[Ye- wait no we're dating so they woul-but then again you're Celestia and they like you so- but then again you're not da-....]

"Oh dear, she's gone crosseyed."

>I'm getting ready to teleport bolt, fair warning.

{...}

>What?

{NOTHING!}

'It's ttiiiiiime!'

The sing-songy voice of Cadence made every one of them jump as she entered the room with a flourish, another round of drinks hovering beside her as she trotted along.

>...Time for what?

Happily she took her place between Chrysalis and Celestia, leaning back in one of only two empty chairs remaining.

'For Shiny's gift, obviously!'

>...Uh huh...

Every single one of them noticed her drink looked much less alcoholic than theirs.

"So, uh... what brought this on?"

'Wellllll, I was thinking about that thing we did, how we all did it and he got to judge, and I thought, that's not fair at all! What kind of system are we in where we all do it for him, but he doesn't have to do it for us? Injustice, I say! An injustice that has gone on for faaaar too long! And we are correcting it, today!'

[...Is anyone else lost?]

{Absolutely.}

>Duh.

"Yes."

'Oh, I don't blame you all it had been a long time. A looong time... but no more!'

>...Wait a minute... him judging... all of us but not him... long time ago...

"Chrysalis?"

>...There's no way...

The lights went out, leaving them in darkness.

From beneath the table, spotlights lit up, all aimed towards the circles center.

Then, from said center, it began to rise.

>...yes....

A single, long, metal pole that went all the way to the top, and connected, bracing itself.

Then came the song.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZvzLGlaCoRM

Then came the light.

Then came the stallion.

Other things may have came later, none would remember by then.

~Llllaadies.~

With a winning, if slightly embarrassed smirk, Shining Armor waved his thong covered rear to the crowd, and grabbed hold of the pole.

>THANK YOU FAUST!

"I thought you only believed in-"

>MAKING AN EXCEPTION!

"Well, I'm not going to thank my mother for this, so WOOOOOO! THANK YOU UNDEFINED HIGHER BEING!"

[TAKE IT OFF! TAKE IT OFFFFFF!]

{...y-yaay...}

'Told you so! We all did it, now it's your turn honey!'

~Oh, no worries, I've been working on... my moves!~

[WHOA!]

>THIS IS THE BEST THING EVER!

"GIVE ME SOME BITS TO STUFF IN THERE!"

[ME FIRST ME FIRST!]

~Ladies, please, you'll all get attention.~

>"[{WOOOOOOOO!]}"

So caught up in it, they never heard the door subtly open.

-Hey, Shiny? Mom wanted to know when to bring... back....-

>SHAKE IT SHAKE IT SHAKE IT WOOO!

"DAMN! You have been working on your moves!"

'...I'm hitting that...'

[THIS IS THE BEST PRESENT!]

{...B-brain, sit this one out.. I've got this..}

-...Is... is he...-

~And WHOOP!~

>NO FUCKING WAY!

"Holy SHIT Shiny! *I* couldn't pull that off!"

-...why is he... why am I still watching this?-

~And here coooomes, the SWING!~

>THIS! IS! THE! BEST!

-...why can't I stop...-

>"'[{WOOOOOOOOO!}]'"

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Non-Canon
>Pinkie
"Fluttershy"
~~~~~
>Welcome to Late Night /pa/ with your host Pinkie Pie! It's during this time that content does matter but sometimes you've just gotta dance like everyone isn't staring! Tonight's guest, FLUTTERSHY!

"Um... Hi."

>Now, Fluttershy, I'm noticing that you're not spending so much time with Discord anymore!

"Oh... yes, and well... I think it's all because I-"

>Fluttershy?

"..."

>...You do not need to be afraid or ashamed, of your powers. Give it time, and you'll be using it with the best of them.

"...Thanks. But um, how did you know-"

>That's our show! See you on our next adventure!

Fluttershy wakes up.

"...Wait, what adventure is she talking about?"

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NC
>Guard
"Guard 2"
~~~~

>...You hear that, right?

"I FEEL that."

>...Land of love and all that.

"Guess so."

>....Sigh.

"Sigh."

>"Siiiigh."

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>Spike
"Twilight"
~~~

Spike, even now, even with all his 'extra' activities, considered himself Twilight's "Number 1 assistant". He wore that title proudly, and hoped if not was sure that he would forever hold that title.

As such, he probably should have been more worried when she stumbled in, a stupefied look on her face, a look he did not recognize, and silently prayed he would never decipher. For he felt that some part of him, and he didn't know which, would die if ever it came to light just what it was Twilight was feeling in that moment.

Knowing this, he cursed his own betrayed lips when, despite wishing not to, he spoke.

>Twilight? You okay?

She shook her head so fast it became a smear in his vision, he could even hear the rattle of her brain bouncing around inside of her skull.

Then, abruptly, she stopped, tilted her head to the side, tapped her hoof to her chin, and....

"It's gone."

>...It's gone?

"It's gone. Totally gone."

>What is?

"Dunno! I have either wiped it from my mind or suppressed it so deeply it will only arise back up when my mentality is so shattered I am but a shell of the mare you see before you, unable to understand or question the complexities of life."

>...Uh...

"But it's probably the first one."

>...Okay.

Wisdom, at last, returned and he no longer questioned it.

"...Spike?"

>Yes, Twilight?

"........................It's time."

His broom dropped to the ground with a clatter, and his jaw as well.

>It's time?

"It's time."

>Twilight, are you sure? You hadn't gotten all of the bugs out last time we talked!

"It's time."

>Twilight, you don't know what you're messing with, the powers that be are beyond any that could ever be known!

"It's. Time."

>No Twilight No!

"IT'S..... TIME!"

>...Well, just double checking! AH HAH!

Knowing just where to go, he reached up, and he pulled the lever.

Into the sky, a spotlight pierced the heavens like a lance of pure light. And with it's glow, Twilight Sparkle laughed.

"...Mwahahah... mwhaahhaahah.... MWAHAHAHAH! AHHHHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHHHHHHHH!"

>...Twilight?

"AHAHAHAH-Yes, Spike?"

>They're not in Canterlot, how are they going to see it?

"...Oh, right... well, crap... Spike! Go deliver the letters!"

>DELIVERING THE- wait, can't I just tell them?

"...Oh, right, I guess that would cut down on time. SPIKE! Go out and tell everyone of the news! Tell them of what is to come!"

He bent over, a mockery of a hump appearing on his back.

>Yessss, Mistrisss, yessss! The Spike shall tell-

"SPIKE!"

>What!?"

"That's horribly offensive to disfigured ponies!"

>But it's part of the book! You tell me what's more important, offensiveness or accuracy?

"...Proceed."

>Yesss, Mistrisss! YESSSSS!

"MWHHHHAHHAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!"

>It comes Mistress, it comes!

"Yeeessss, my puppet! Go tell them! Go tell them all! TELL THEM ALL!"

Dramatically, she threw open her windows, cackling out into the cold air before her.

"IT IS TIIIIME! IT IS TIIIIIIIIME FOR... OBLIQUES AND OGREEEEESSSS!"

She pumped her hooves to the sky, and she laughed, and laughed, and laughed.

"AHHHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!"

'FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOME OF US ARE TRYING TO SLEEP!'

"Whoops! Sorry!"

Meekly, she shut the windows, and resumed.

"As I was saying... MWAHHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!"

And all around, from Canterlot to Ponyville to the very depths of the Empire, they knew.

They felt it, in their very souls.

It had, at last, come.

None of them were ready for what was to come next.

...And that's what made it so fun.

_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________

NCOMAKES!
>Celestia
"???"
'???'
[???]
~~~~

>Oh my, what a day... still though, it was quite fun to-

SLAM!

"OUR PRINCESS!"

'HO HA! WE WISH TO-'

>Sorry, guys. Thread's over.

[...But... but we want to be your guards!]

>Sorry, fellas!

"...Well, this is some bullshit!"

>But you guys did the last Pinkie Prediction! So... that's something!

'I guess that is something...'

[Just reallllly hoped we would get in, you know?]

>Sorry, fellas, arc time! Time for us to kick back, have fun and break loose with some Gala 2.0 era silliness!

"...Could've said Partyla-"

>NO!

"..."

>ABSOLUTELY NOT!

"...Okay."

>...So, since we're non-canon... wanna?

"'[YES!]"'

>Great! Nobody wants to play Monopony with me anymore.

*BLAM!*

>...It's not that bad a game...

_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________

ncomake!
>Discord
"Pinkie"
~~~~

>Really!? REALLY!? I just get some screentime and you start an arc NOW!?

"Well, we have kinda been delaying this for too long..."

>But still!

"But still nothing! Pinkie is on a roll with her time and SHE'S SHINING!"

>...Awwww...

"Don't worry, we'll get back to you eventually. Or you can go interact with others!"

>Yeah OCS!... Ugh...

"...Could interact with Cheesy-"

>HE GOT HIS PITY APPEARANCE!

_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________

NCOMAKE!
~~~~~

"D-don't get ridda meeee..."

[Don't spoil it!... Anyway, so I was looking in there, and I found a living little-]

"P-pleeease! I'll do that thing we did at the academy!"

[Spitfire, you don't haaaaaa....]

{...Shiny? What's the matter?}

[...she uh... she wasn't lying...]

{...What is she doing down there?}

"Ah tole hue! Ah'll do ih!"

{OH MY GOSH!}

[...]

"...PBPBPBPBPB!"

[HEE HEE HEE!]

{NO FAAIIR! I want belly raspberrys too!}

[Nope, all for Shiny!]

"PBPLBPLBPLB!"

[HEE HEEEE!]

{Awww! Well, I'm going to find my own raspberrier! I bet Spike will be happy to! HRMPH!}

STOMP STOMP STOMP STOMP!

[HEE HE! HOOO!]

"PLBPLBPLB!"

[...]
"Sheh gohn?"
[Yep.]
"Wan me ta' keep shuckin' yer' dick?"
[.............................................................Yes.]


_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________

OMAKE!
>Fleetfoot
"Soarin'
'???'
~~~~

>...Huh, I can slip a lot past Dash nowadays... I wonder what else I can get past her.....

~~~~

>Soarin! Look at this!

"What is it?"

>It seems that Dash herself has decided you have to sleep with me.

"...what."

>Yep! Signed and everything!

"..."

>And you also have to make out with Thunderlane.

"..."

>....I get to watch...

"..."

>...maybe more if you're into it...

"...No?"

>It's the law, soldier!

"Okay, so then you try to arrest me, aaaand..."

>...Did not think this through.

"I'm going to Dash about this."

>NO WAIT! I'M SORRY!

~~~~~~

>I'M SORRY!

"So, Dash, what are we going to do about this?"

'...Eehhhhh... you're right, I'm not allowed to force a trainee like Thunderlane into the same training regime as a veteran soldier. Total breach of authority, Fleetfoot.'

>Wait, what?

'Yep, totally putting a mark on your record for trying to over-extend a rookie... whelp! Good on you, Soarin! See ya'.'

"WAIT WHAT!?"

>Wait, what about the...

'What about it? It was filed under training regimes, and it qualifies!'

"WHAT WHAT WHAT!?

'What? Oh, that... you're right! You didn't list how many positions or duration, another mark on you soldier! No worries, though, you put it in the advanced marks, so we're going to put it on the lowest setting. Don't want you pulling anything!'

"WHATWHATWHATWHATWHAT!?"

>...This cannot be legal.

'Show me where it's not.

"Oh, it's not, and when I find that law, I am going to SO-

~~~~~

"I CAN'T BELIEVE THERE'S NO LAW AGAINST THIS!"

'Enough talk, soldier! Focus on your work!'

>D-do you have to supervise?

'Yes.'

>...Do you have to be this close?

'...Yes...'

"SUCH BULLSHIT!"

'Shut up and roll your hips!'


_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________

NCOMAKE!
>29
"32"
~~~~~

>Oh dear, it looks like another arc is starting up... one that will involve mine teacher.

"You know what that means..."

>NO SCREENTIME!

"Oh, but what fun we can do when the lights are off-"

*POW!*

"...Little much."

>I'M IN NO MOOD!

_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________

>SA
"Cadence"
~~

>So... my wife kissing a mare... that's going to be weird.

"Well, it won't be THAT weird, I'll just be sober this time!"

>...WHAT!?

"Oh, yeah, didn't I tell you? Funny story!..."

~This was never the way I planned~
~Not my intention~
~I got so silly, drink in hand~
~I didn't even drink it!~
~It's not what, I'm used to~
~Just got confused for fun~
~If there's a curious you~
~Caught my attention~

~...I kissed a ling and I liked it, The taste of chitty's chap stick~
>WAIT FUCKING WHAT NOW!?
~I kissed a Ling just to try it~
>I thought you said you were drunk!
~I hope my husband don't mind it~
>I DO!
~It felt so wrong~
>I SHOULD HOPE SO!
~It felt so right~
>THAT'S NOT LIKE THE FIRST THING!
~Don't mean I'm in love tonight
>I SHOULD FUCKING HOPE SO!
~I kissed a Ling and I liked it~
>WHAT!?
~I liked it!~
>STOP STOP STOP IT WAS RHETORICAL!

~...Well, if you want, you can get back at me by making out with a stallion-~

>NO!

~Awww.~

_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________

OMAKE!
>AJ
"Dash"
'???'
~~~~

>Hey, Dash? Ah'm noticin' a lotta problems with ya'll and the Wonderbolts.

"Nah, everything's going smoothly!"

>Well, it seems like that, but Ah'm also noticin' most of the paperwork gets done by someone else.

"Meh, so long as it gets done!"

>But what about when it comes out?

"Burn that bridge when we get there!"

>Are ya' sure?

"It'll be fiiiiine."

>...Wait a minute!

*Pulls off face*
*IT'S CADENCE!*

>GASP!

"It'll be fiiiiiine~!"

>OH NO! IT'S SPREADIN'! CELLY! HELP!... Celestia?

'It'll be fiiiiine!'

>NO! NO NO NO!

'Fiiiiine!'

"Fiiiiiine!"

'"FIIIIINNNNEEEE!"'

>NOOOOOOOOOOO

~~~~~~~

>GASP!.....

{Welcome to Late Night with Pinkie Pie! I'm your host-}

>Oh thank goodness, that was a dream.

{Er, no... this is the dream part.}

>...so... so then when I wake up...

{Back to them, yeah.}

>...Is this Nightmare on Elm Street Rules?

{NO AJ NO!}

>AH'M DOIN' IT!

_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________