D&D campaign 2 session 11

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Nirrti is disconnected.

Neogi:
Please assume the Party Escort Submission Position

Neogi:
Or you will miss the party.

Lemure 1:
mrrhmmmrm

Lemure 2:
I have no mouth, yet I must scream
Hjortkayre:
No, they have mouths.
Darth GW7:
It's "And I must scream" anyway
Hjortkayre:
true
Hjortkayre:
Darth, is Nirrti still connected at all?
Canuhearmenow:
It looks like it
Canuhearmenow:
Doesn't say disconnected
Darth GW7:
Nope
Hjortkayre:
Yeah, he did dc, it seems. :\
You have disconnected.
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Nirrti has connected.
Hjortkayre has connected.
Lampshade has connected.
Jekko has connected.
Canuhearmenow has connected.
Lampshade:
Shit working now for everyone?
Canuhearmenow:
Gonna get a bit laggy now, downloading a game
Canuhearmenow:
Working
Lampshade:
So...
Lampshade:
Roll for init?
Hjortkayre:
Grim can't make it, and said someone should control his character. Anyone want to miss everything?
Lampshade:
I could
Lampshade:
Since done it before
Canuhearmenow:
Or
Canuhearmenow:
We could sell Ehthos to the Naogti as a slave
Canuhearmenow:
And get safe passage
Lampshade:
I like that idea
Lampshade:
Ahwassa, however, does not
Hjortkayre:
It's a zombie. I don't think it has any real interest in what it used to.
Darth GW7:
hahaha oh wow
Darth GW7:
I love the names guys
Lampshade:
Haha
Hjortkayre:
D'aw
Lampshade:
Who named them?
Darth GW7:
I dunno
Darth GW7:
someone with good taste
Nirrti:
you missed Barnaby
Canuhearmenow:
Where's AM
Lampshade:
AM?
Hjortkayre:
Hello, Canu.
Darth GW7:
heh
Darth GW7:
That works, yeah
Darth GW7:
HJORT
Canuhearmenow:
AM is the main antagonist
Canuhearmenow:
AND HE SPOKE IN ALL CAPS LAMP
Darth GW7:
THAT THING YOU WERE TALKING TO ME ABOUT YESTERDAY
Darth GW7:
THE THING WHAT YOU WANT TO DO
Darth GW7:
I THINK WE HAVE OUR CHARACTER NAMES
Hjortkayre:
Hang on a sec
Hjortkayre is disconnected.
DM has connected.
Darth GW7:
You spelled AM wrong
DM:
I know
DM:
Other things
DM:
Canu was complaining about the length of my name
DM:
Hypocrite.
Darth GW7:
shall I make a thread about that deus ex video
Darth GW7:
:v
Darth GW7:
And where
DM:
Right
DM:
Are we rolling for init?
Lampshade:
Are we in combat?
Canuhearmenow:
I believe so, negotiations broke down
Lampshade:
Are they hostile?
Canuhearmenow:
They want MONEY
* Nirrti rolls: d20+2 => 3 + 2 = 5
Lampshade:
I'm not giving them any of my money >
Nirrti:
i am the INITMASTER
* Lampshade rolls: d20-2 => 8 - 2 = 6
* Canuhearmenow rolls: 1d20 + 2 => 10 + 2 = 12
Lampshade:
I am the init QUEEN!
Canuhearmenow:
I AM THE INIT EMPEROR
* Lampshade rolls: d20+4 => 5 + 4 = 9
Nirrti:
you're the init peasant
Lampshade:
Grim got 9
Lampshade:
What is this
* Jekko rolls: 1d20+3 => 16 + 3 = 19
Lampshade:
Oh yay, Jekko goes first
Lampshade:
We're saved
Nirrti:
the init worm
DM:
Darth?
Nirrti:
darth thinks rolling init is too mainstream
Lampshade:
He's making that thread me thinks
DM:
Bloody hell
Nirrti:
i can roll for him
Darth GW7:
hi
* Darth GW7 rolls: d20+1 => 18 + 1 = 19
Darth GW7:
woo
Lampshade:
Darth is second then?
* DM rolls: d20 + 3 => 4 + 3 = 7
Canuhearmenow:
Darth is the Great Sandworm of Arrakis
Nirrti:
Darth is the initmaggot
DM:
Why all these old literature references?
Lampshade:
No idea
Canuhearmenow:
Because we're getting to a major plot event
* DM rolls: d20 => 13
Lampshade:
Jekko, go stab them with your dagger
Lampshade:
That'll show 'em
Jekko:
undead
* DM rolls: d20 + 2 => 7 + 2 = 9
Nirrti:
you mean toothpick
Lampshade:
It's barely even that
Jekko:
nirrti is closer
Lampshade:
But you go first I think
Jekko:
banzai!!
Darth GW7:
why is hjort rolling all these numbers
Nirrti:
enemy init
Nirrti:
duh
Lampshade:
He wants to know how horribly we will die
* DM rolls: d20 + 12 => 10 + 12 = 22
Lampshade:
Dat mod
* DM rolls: d8 + 4 => 1 + 4 = 5
Canuhearmenow:
That's now it's AC
Darth GW7:
critical fail
DM:
Right, Jekko's turn.
Darth GW7:
how many of us got fucked up the ass
Nirrti:
you
* DM rolls: 2d8 => 12
Jekko:
enemy is 5 feet too far
Nirrti:
charge
DM:
Yeah, up to 2 times your speed.
Darth GW7:
Why are you only 20ft speed?
Jekko:
will do
DM:
Small sie
Jekko:
banzai!!
Darth GW7:
ah
Nirrti:
because racecar
Darth GW7:
holy shit
Darth GW7:
jekko
Jekko:
charge gives?
Darth GW7:
how do you have 1k
Darth GW7:
._.
DM:
NO REASON
Nirrti:
i have 1k too
Darth GW7:
what
Lampshade:
They didn't spend their money I guess
Canuhearmenow:
NO RAISIN
Lampshade:
or something
Darth GW7:
but we didn't spend much either
Lampshade:
Charge gives +2 to attack
DM:
NO RAISINS PLEASE.
Darth GW7:
:v
Canuhearmenow:
I am the greetest
Nirrti:
no cement
* Jekko rolls: d20+4 => 14 + 4 = 18
Jekko:
stab
Darth GW7:
*le stab*
Canuhearmenow:
He is the spy
DM:
That is a hit.
* Jekko rolls: 1d3 => 3
Nirrti:
look at that massive damage
Lampshade:
How can we top that?
Canuhearmenow:
We can't
Nirrti:
i'm going to charge and grapple one of them
Canuhearmenow:
Maybe if Nirrti sneezes, but even then
Canuhearmenow:
Not too sure
Canuhearmenow:
GRAPPLE?
Canuhearmenow:
NO
Nirrti:
CHARGPPLE
Jekko:
just laydown your weapons and walk a way
DM:
If Jekko's finished, its Darth's turn.
Jekko:
yea
Lampshade:
Go get 'em
Lampshade:
Oh wait, you can't
Nirrti:
man when i get my prestige class
Darth GW7:
well
Nirrti:
i will spontaneously combust all of the things
Darth GW7:
er
Darth GW7:
can I charge through people
Lampshade:
Including yourself
DM:
No, Darth
DM:
You have to have a direct path.
Nirrti:
chargekick Xannan
Darth GW7:
can I move then charge?
Lampshade:
no
DM:
No
Darth GW7:
sigh
DM:
Full Round Action
Nirrti:
which in turn pushes Ahwassa
Nirrti:
it's like that, what was it called
Nirrti:
peasant cannon?
Nirrti:
except with people
DM:
heh
Darth GW7:
welp
Darth GW7:
I can't do much can I
Lampshade:
Nope
DM:
Finished?
Darth GW7:
wait
Lampshade:
You can yell at them
Darth GW7:
I'm thinking
Nirrti:
jump
Lampshade:
Throw your sword!
Canuhearmenow:
Say something menacing!
DM:
That's a surprise.
Lampshade:
Taunt!
Lampshade:
Demoralize!
Nirrti:
dance
Canuhearmenow:
Use intimidate!
Darth GW7:
Does anyone have fire?
Nirrti:
oh but you can't
Nirrti:
you can only dance in designated dance zones
Darth GW7:
wait
Darth GW7:
I have fire
Lampshade:
haha
Darth GW7:
wtf is wrong with me
Darth GW7:
OKAY
DM:
Darth you BREATHE fire.
Darth GW7:
I HAVE IDEA GUYS
Nirrti:
throw your shoes at them
Lampshade:
Let's hear it
Canuhearmenow:
Do the dance outlined in the Steam chat
Nirrti:
like that guy in austin powers
* Z'ar Kor gets out a container of oil
Darth GW7:
DO YOU LIKE WHERE THIS IS GOING
Darth GW7:
BECAUSE I SURE DO
Canuhearmenow:
Gettin' greased up eh
Canuhearmenow:
Kinky
* Z'ar Kor throws the container at Gorrister
Nirrti:
http://26.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lhfngnii4t1qbjlqlo1_500.jpg
Lampshade:
You need to roll for that methinks
Nirrti:
yeah
Darth GW7:
Roll what
Darth GW7:
Ranged?
Canuhearmenow:
-4
Nirrti:
throw
DM:
Ranged improv attack
Canuhearmenow:
Since it's improvised
DM:
I guess.
Darth GW7:
+4
DM:
...no.
Darth GW7:
no I mean
Canuhearmenow:
0
Darth GW7:
yeah
Darth GW7:
in total
DM:
Right, right.
* Darth GW7 rolls: d20 => 15
Lampshade:
Totally gonna work
Darth GW7:
IS FIFTEEN ENOUGH?!
Canuhearmenow:
Then it's immune to fire
Darth GW7:
FIFTEEEEEEEEN
Lampshade:
Ye
Darth GW7:
what the fuck is it anyway
Darth GW7:
holy shit
Darth GW7:
I just zoomed in on it
DM:
Yes.
DM:
It's a Neogi.
DM:
:D
DM:
You should see how they reproduce. It's horrible.
Lampshade:
Neogi?
DM:
Yeah
Darth GW7:
Are those in the 4e campaign too?
Lampshade:
...what
DM:
Yes
Lampshade:
I shall knowledge roll on that
* Lampshade rolls: d20+7 => 5 + 7 = 12
DM:
Dungeoneering
Lampshade:
aww
Jekko:
grim?
DM:
That's a hit, Darth.
DM:
Grim has it, yes.
Lampshade:
What happened to planar knowledge to everything
Lampshade:
ooh
Canuhearmenow:
WELCOME TO THE REAL WORLD, LAMP
* Lampshade rolls: d20+6 => 19 + 6 = 25
Lampshade:
25 good enough?
Nirrti:
no
Lampshade:
Dungeoneering by Xannan
Nirrti:
you need 25.5
DM:
Yup.
Darth GW7:
So
Darth GW7:
What happened
Darth GW7:
c:
DM:
You have oiled up the Neogi.
Canuhearmenow:
Gonna get that Neogi a gem, Neogi's love gems
Lampshade:
It's now oiled up
Darth GW7:
woo
DM:
Have fun
Nirrti:
that oil is fire retardant

Gorrister:
AAAH what the HELL man these were clean on this morning
DM:
Btw
DM:
I'll give you this for free
DM:
The Lemures are devils
DM:
And are immune
DM:
to fire

Gorrister:
god DAMN what is wrong with you aaaa
DM:
:D
* Lampshade rolls: d20+7 => 1 + 7 = 8
Darth GW7:
good thing I didn't aim at them
DM:
...
Darth GW7:
c:
Lampshade:
yeah, my roll wouldn't have told that
DM:
...Lamp.
Lampshade:
So...
Lampshade:
Who's next?
DM:
Hang on, knowledge stuff
DM:
Neogi's are a race of spiderlike creatures who originate in the Far Realm. They act as planar slavers - they have the ability to control the minds of creatures. As a society, they are cruel, and rutheless - Neogi owning other Neogi is common. However, despite this, they are highly lawful, and willing to engage in contracts with those who present agreeable offers. Some scholars claim that they used to be slaves to the Mind Flayers, in the Far Realm.
Lampshade:
So...
Lampshade:
We gonna get mind controlled
Lampshade:
...yay
Nirrti:
combat music http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2VwPZjb9S8Q
DM:
Darth, for the oil?
DM:
Roll 1d3.
Nirrti:
darth is going in commando
Nirrti:
and grapple
DM:
The oily spider thing
Canuhearmenow:
So he can breath fire on it
Canuhearmenow:
Yeah
Jekko:
we new that from last weak
* Darth GW7 rolls: d3 => 2
Darth GW7:
well
Darth GW7:
that was a 1/3 chance
Canuhearmenow:
Oh, oh
Canuhearmenow:
Speaking of Oil
Canuhearmenow:
Roll reflex or else fall prone?
Darth GW7:
also
Jekko:
so i can backstab these?
Darth GW7:
how would I grapple with it
Jekko:
yay
Darth GW7:
it's covered in OIL
Nirrti:
with your arms
Darth GW7:
oil is SLIPPERY
Canuhearmenow:
Kinky
Darth GW7:
or is it sticky
Canuhearmenow:
You gotta "anchor" yourself to it
Canuhearmenow:
Clearly
Darth GW7:
what kind of oil is this
Nirrti:
yes
Darth GW7:
sticky or slippery
Nirrti:
stickery
DM:
As one, the lemures surge forward.
Darth GW7:
well then I'm DEFINITELY not grappling with it
Canuhearmenow:
And then, in the next room
Canuhearmenow:
400 Mind Flayers
Nirrti:
no worries
Darth GW7:
sup
Nirrti:
i'll use my retcon and become cthulhu
Nirrti:
i mean uh
DM:
:P
Darth GW7:
GUYS
Darth GW7:
SET THE MAIN GUY ON FIRE
Darth GW7:
KK?
* DM rolls: d20 + 2 => 17 + 2 = 19
Nirrti:
set yourself on fire
Nirrti:
then grapple it
* DM rolls: d4 => 1
Nirrti:
it can't catch you
DM:
1 DAMAGE
Darth GW7:
to who
DM:
you
Nirrti:
jekk
Nirrti:
oh
Darth GW7:
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOooooooooooooooooooooo
Nirrti:
'
* DM rolls: d20 + 2 => 1 + 2 = 3
Lampshade:
How will you survive?
Darth GW7:
LOL
Lampshade:
Also, hahahaha
DM:
The lemure collapses in a pile of goop and love.
Canuhearmenow:
Wouldn't that be it attacks it's friend?
Darth GW7:
oh wow
* DM rolls: d20 + 2 => 8 + 2 = 10
DM:
No, Canu
* DM rolls: d20 + 2 => 7 + 2 = 9
* DM rolls: d20 + 2 => 18 + 2 = 20
* DM rolls: d4 => 1
DM:
Jekko, take 1 damage.
Darth GW7:
wow
DM:
Canu's turn.
Darth GW7:
I'm loving the damage rolls so far
Canuhearmenow:
Is it in doubt what I'll use? I gotta get more spells
Canuhearmenow:
After this, one more spell
Canuhearmenow:
I attack Noagi
* Canuhearmenow rolls: 2d4 + 2 => 5 + 2 = 7
Darth GW7:
GORRISTER*
DM:
Right.
DM:
Anything else?

Halfred:
some support would be nice?
Lampshade:
Then Xannan?
DM:
Mhm

Elias:
It's a shame we couldn't negotiate a deal

Ahwassa:
Working on it!

Halfred:
tis but a scratch
Lampshade:
Xannan...
Lampshade:
Rapid shoots the neogi
Darth GW7:
with fire?

OMG'ahr:
Fuck. Negotiating.
DM:
Roll to attack then.
* Lampshade rolls: d20+6 => 17 + 6 = 23
* Lampshade rolls: d20+6 => 2 + 6 = 8
Darth GW7:
er
* Lampshade rolls: d8 => 7
DM:
Right
Darth GW7:
I do believe that first one hit
Lampshade:
7 damage
Lampshade:
No point blank bonus
Darth GW7:
Don't you get a DEX bonus or anything?
DM:
Not for damage
Lampshade:
Rapid shooting is -2 on attack
Darth GW7:
oh
Jekko:
and the second hited ahwassas back
Darth GW7:
Melee attacks get a damage bonus
Darth GW7:
no it wasn't a crit fail
Darth GW7:
just a very bad miss
Lampshade:
Who's next?
DM:
Me
DM:
Hang on.
* DM rolls: d20 + 4 => 12 + 4 = 16
DM:
vs 11 Touch, I think.
DM:
Darth.
Lampshade:
?
Lampshade:
What was that
Darth GW7:
hallo
DM:
MAGIC
Darth GW7:
what of it
Lampshade:
What happened?
Canuhearmenow:
We are NOW getting attacked by MAGIC!
Darth GW7:
also how can it be touching me
Darth GW7:
I'm not at touch distance
Canuhearmenow:
ranged
Darth GW7:
STOP TOUCHING MEEEEEEE
Canuhearmenow:
ranged touch
DM:
Darth, make a will save.
* Darth GW7 rolls: d20 => 10
Lampshade:
This gonna be good...
Darth GW7:
oh boy
DM:
Ahahaha
Jekko:
brb food
DM:
Ooh boy
Lampshade:
Your will save is 0?
Darth GW7:
MAKE GOOD USE OF THE OIL I GAVE YOU
Lampshade:
Haha
Darth GW7:
I have -1 wisdom
Darth GW7:
er
Lampshade:
You're not very smart
Darth GW7:
wisdom MOD
DM whispers: And now you are Dominated. Congratulations!
DM:
Shanto runs in and hits things, I assume?
Jekko:
int is for smartnes
Lampshade:
Probably
Canuhearmenow:
Yes
Lampshade:
Fine, Darth doesn't know anything
Lampshade:
Z'ar*
Darth GW7:
I know things
Canuhearmenow:
IT'S PRONE
Canuhearmenow:
Coup it
DM:
Okay
Darth GW7:
I just lack... application?
Lampshade:
Why is it prone?
DM:
It's basically going to die anyway.
Canuhearmenow:
crit 1
Lampshade:
Oh right
DM:
Lamp's turn
Lampshade:
You didn't hit it?
Lampshade:
ah
You whisper to DM: Tell me if you want me to do anything superficial
DM whispers: Not now.
You whisper to DM: That is, talking or whatever
* Lampshade rolls: d20+3 => 12 + 3 = 15
DM:
Stop
DM:
Darth
Lampshade:
?
DM:
Make an AoO.
Darth GW7:
uh, okay
Lampshade:
oh....
Lampshade:
shit
Lampshade:
You bastard!
DM whispers: FIGHT.
Canuhearmenow:
Oh god
* Darth GW7 rolls: d20+6 => 6 + 6 = 12
Canuhearmenow:
Ohhhhhhhhh god
Lampshade:
HAHA!
Canuhearmenow:
Nice
Lampshade:
Is Ellen going to die now?
Canuhearmenow:
Why does Ahwassa only have 13 AC
Lampshade:
Shit dex
DM:
Shit Dex
DM:
heh
DM:
RIght, continue
* Lampshade rolls: 2d6+1 => 7 + 1 = 8
Canuhearmenow:
Wait
Canuhearmenow:
Lamp rolled previously
Canuhearmenow:
oh nvm
DM:
Hm?
Canuhearmenow:
Nvm
Canuhearmenow:
Thought that was a to hit roll
Lampshade:
Did Ellen now die?
DM:
Yeap
* DM rolls: d20 + 5 => 1 + 5 = 6
Darth GW7:
derp
DM:
Like to point out
DM:
Coup is a full round action

Elias:
WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT FOR YOU DAMN LIZARD?
* DM rolls: d20 + 3 => 19 + 3 = 22

Elias:
We. Don't. Hit. Allies
* DM rolls: d6 + 3 => 4 + 3 = 7
DM:
Jekko, take 7 damage.
Darth GW7:
what do you mean full round action :v
DM:
An action
DM:
That takes a full round.
DM:
Duh
Lampshade:
So you can't move and do it
Darth GW7:
oh
DM:
Right
DM:
Nirrti's turn
Nirrti:
finally
Jekko:
where did my turn go?
Canuhearmenow:
Can only make on AoO per round
Canuhearmenow:
And yeah for Jekko
DM:
You... went first.
DM:
Yes, Canu.
* Nirrti rolls: d20+9 => 12 + 9 = 21
Canuhearmenow:
Cleave time?
DM:
Not in range
DM:
Cough
Nirrti:
no position to cleave
Canuhearmenow:
5 ft step
Nirrti:
nope
Canuhearmenow:
Is allowed under Cleave
Canuhearmenow:
Oh
Lampshade:
Why didn't you hit the big dude?
DM:
Technically small sized.
Nirrti:
because racecar
DM:
That's a hit, obviously.
* Nirrti rolls: d12+7+1 => 7 + 7 + 1 = 15
Canuhearmenow:
That can't be a kill
DM:
Jekko.
Jekko:
any way to flank whit out getting aoo
Darth GW7:
Five foot step
Lampshade:
There are no allies near it, so you can't flank it
Darth GW7:
I suggest that way
Darth GW7:
not.. right into gorrister
Canuhearmenow:
But you can hit Gorrister then!
Lampshade:
Yeah!
Darth GW7:
Someone set him on fire already
Darth GW7:
don't waste my oil
Lampshade:
With what?
Darth GW7:
...flint and steel?
Canuhearmenow:
Torch
Lampshade:
We haven't lit any
Darth GW7:
yes you did
* Jekko rolls: d20+2 => 19 + 2 = 21
DM:
What was that?
Jekko:
crit
Canuhearmenow:
niiiiice
Lampshade:
Is it a crit?
Darth GW7:
how else have you been walking around a dark cathedral
Lampshade:
confirm
Jekko:
crit
* Jekko rolls: d20+2 => 15 + 2 = 17
Lampshade:
Hmm, true
DM:
Confirmed.
Canuhearmenow:
Crit confirmed
Canuhearmenow:
2d3, oh no
Lampshade:
Now, witness the massive damage of 2d3!
DM:
Shanto was carrying torches.
Lampshade:
Are any lit?
Darth GW7:
no more throwing torches guys
Canuhearmenow:
Shanto goes Tibetan monk
Darth GW7:
goddman
* Jekko rolls: 2d3 => 4
Darth GW7:
WOW
Darth GW7:
HOLY SHIT
Canuhearmenow:
Aka he lights himself on fire
Darth GW7:
FOUR DAMAGE
DM:
Sigh
Darth GW7:
THAT'S AMAZING
DM:
Jekko, are you done?
Jekko:
yea
Jekko:
sorry eating horse
Darth GW7:
That sounded contemptuous
DM:
When did that one die?
Darth GW7:
"...wow, you did four damage. are you done?"
Canuhearmenow:
It fell prone
Lampshade:
You said it died
Canuhearmenow:
Shanto hit it
Lampshade:
To shanto
DM:
Shanto didn't
DM:
He crit failed.
Lampshade:
Oh....
DM:
He couldn't coup.
Nirrti:
gj lamp
Lampshade:
??
Lampshade:
Watdidido
Nirrti:
everything wrong
Gorrister whispers: Now... fight. Kill the mageling for me.
Lampshade:
:
Lampshade:

* Z'ar Kor turns to Elias
* Darth GW7 rolls: d20+8 => 3 + 8 = 11
Lampshade:
Nope
Canuhearmenow:
Narrowly missed
Lampshade:
Again
DM:
ffs Darth
Lampshade:
Haha
DM:
You make the worst Enslaved warrior.
Darth GW7:
For being bad at killing my allies?
Darth GW7:
Sorry!
Lampshade:
I should buff Darth with something to make it challenging
Canuhearmenow:
Darth
* DM rolls: d20 + 2 => 14 + 2 = 16
Nirrti:
should've enslaved me
Canuhearmenow:
You had a +8
* DM rolls: d20 + 2 => 4 + 2 = 6
* DM rolls: d20 + 2 => 8 + 2 = 10
Nirrti:
everyone would be dead
* DM rolls: d20 + 2 => 8 + 2 = 10
Lampshade:
Should I enlarge Darth?
Nirrti:
in the name of khorne
Darth GW7:
I get bad rolls WHEN IT COUNTS!
* DM rolls: d4 => 2
DM:
Jekko, 2 more damage.
Darth GW7:
why four attack rolls?
Jekko:
9 hp
DM:
Two attacks each
Darth GW7:
oh
Lampshade:
I guess they have two
DM:
Canu.
* Canuhearmenow rolls: 2d4 + 2 => 5 + 2 = 7
Nirrti:
they have two arms you know
Canuhearmenow:
Naogti
Canuhearmenow:
Now out of spells
Darth GW7:
so do I but I can't attack twice in a turn
Lampshade:
You have shield on the other
Nirrti:
yes but you're a silly dragonborn
Darth GW7:
you can't attack twice in a turn either
Lampshade:
If you used fists, you could attack twice
Nirrti:
i can if i get good rolls
Nirrti:
cleave
Canuhearmenow:
What if you cast fist?
Nirrti:
hah
DM:
Grim's turn.
DM:
...Lamp?
Lampshade:
oh right
Lampshade:
sorry
Lampshade:
spaced out
Jekko:
heal?
Lampshade:
rapid shooting the mind controlling freak
* Lampshade rolls: d20+6 => 16 + 6 = 22
* Lampshade rolls: d20+6 => 2 + 6 = 8
DM:
Not moving first?
Lampshade:
Rapid shooting is a full round I think
DM:
True
DM:
One hit
* Lampshade rolls: d8 => 7
Lampshade:
Dea vu
Lampshade:
Deja vu*
Canuhearmenow:
Every hit
Canuhearmenow:
We did on that Naogi
Canuhearmenow:
Was 7
Lampshade:
Haha
Darth GW7:
Btw are we going to look for someone to replace shanto?
Lampshade:
What is this shit
Darth GW7:
Or are we continuing normally
Lampshade:
Normally imo
Canuhearmenow:
We're cannibalizing him Darth
DM:
Probably not. 6 is as good number as any.
Lampshade:
We're pretty full
Darth GW7:
that's if you count grim
Lampshade:
we have 5.5 members
Darth GW7:
he doesn't show up enough to count
Darth GW7:
:|
DM:
Lamp
Canuhearmenow:
And when he does he forgets to post
* DM rolls: d20 + 7 => 3 + 7 = 10
DM:
Aw
Lampshade:
Hah
Darth GW7:
wow it's running away scared
Lampshade:
lemme try a will save for the lulz
Darth GW7:
bless
Jekko:
hey
Darth GW7:
wait
Jekko:
5.5?
Lampshade:
or what was that attack
DM:
It wasn't magic
DM:
That was a crossbow bolt.
Lampshade:
What?
Canuhearmenow:
How is that thing still alive
Lampshade:
Who shot me?
Canuhearmenow:
Skullington
Lampshade:
That traitorous bastard....
DM:
Shanto attacks again, I guess.
* DM rolls: d20 + 1 => 15 + 1 = 16
* DM rolls: d20 + 1 => 7 + 1 = 8
* DM rolls: d6 + 3 => 2 + 3 = 5
DM:
Right
DM:
Lamp's turn.
Lampshade:
CHAAARGE!
Lampshade:
Can I?
DM:
Sure
DM:
Darth
DM:
Make an AoO
Lampshade:
oh shit
Darth GW7:
When do I get to save
Darth GW7:
:v
Lampshade:
This better not hit, lizardboy!
DM:
Tomorrow.
* Darth GW7 rolls: d20+8 => 13 + 8 = 21
Darth GW7:
...
Darth GW7:
hue
DM:
That's a hit.
Lampshade:
You asshole
DM:
roll for damage.
* Darth GW7 rolls: d8+5 => 4 + 5 = 9
DM:
Right Lamp, roll to attack.
* Lampshade rolls: d20+3 => 4 + 3 = 7
Lampshade:
wait, it's a 9
Lampshade:
still nothing I guess
DM:
Right.
DM:
Nirrti's turn.
Canuhearmenow:
Ahwassa gon die
Nirrti:
hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm
Lampshade:
Bullshit, I never die
Nirrti:
can i kill z'ar
Darth GW7:
Not from there you can't
Nirrti:
oh how i want to kill z'ar
Nirrti:
i'm going to 5ft step all over your ugly face
Darth GW7:
also someone set it on fire already god damn
Lampshade:
We can't!
* Nirrti rolls: d20+9 => 2 + 9 = 11
Nirrti:
gj
Darth GW7:
YOU HAVE A TORCH LAMP
Darth GW7:
A TORCH
DM:
That's a miss.
Nirrti:
gotta love my rolls when they matter
Darth GW7:
AND A FLINT AND STEEL
DM:
Jekko's turn.
Lampshade:
Hey, can I light my torch and throw it as full round action?
Darth GW7:
throw it?
Darth GW7:
You're RIGHT NEXT TO IT
Lampshade:
Or hit with it
Lampshade:
Whateveer
DM:
Yeah
Lampshade:
I'll do that then
DM:
Except
DM:
Oil lasts for 2 rounds
DM:
:P
Darth GW7:
GOD GUYS YOU SUCK
Lampshade:
...
Lampshade:
Shut up
DM:
Jekko's turn.
Darth GW7:
YOU TOOK SO LONG IT FAILED
Darth GW7:
wait
Darth GW7:
it's only been one round so far?
Lampshade:
Mister "I got mind controlled"
DM:
By the time Lamp's next turn comes round.
Darth GW7:
THERE'S STILL TIME
Darth GW7:
SOMEONE
Darth GW7:
wait
Darth GW7:
No there should be more time than that
Darth GW7:
I did it on my turn
DM:
Which is next.
Darth GW7:
Next time it's my turn that'll be one round
Darth GW7:
Yeah
DM:
Darth
DM:
No
DM:
It'll be two.
Darth GW7:
Why
Lampshade:
Yeah
Darth GW7:
I've only had one turn
Darth GW7:
:v
DM:
YOU ATTACKED CANU
Darth GW7:
I didn't get to save
Darth GW7:
wtf
DM:
:D
Canuhearmenow:
Wait what
Lampshade:
That's a feat or talent or something
Darth GW7:
I should get to save
Lampshade:
You don't have it naturally
DM whispers: A save every 24 hours. :D
You whisper to DM: fffff
DM:
Anyway
DM:
Jekko.
You whisper to DM: that's bullshit and OP and I hate this game and I'm leaving
DM whispers: Bye bye.
* Jekko rolls: d20+2 => 1 + 2 = 3
Lampshade:
lol
DM:
...roll for damage.
DM:
and then roll a d100.
Nirrti:
i think that's gonna hit me
* Jekko rolls: 1d3 => 2
Nirrti:
how will i live with such damage
* Jekko rolls: d100 => 81
Nirrti:
maybe i'll pay it back
DM:
Right, yeah, Nirrti, take 2 damage.
DM:
Darth's turn
Darth GW7:
Okay I think I'll-
Darth GW7:
oh.
DM whispers: Save me, you fool!
Lampshade:
Nope
Darth GW7:
Ooh.
Darth GW7:
This could be interesting
DM whispers: Kill the priestess!
Lampshade:
Attack Shanto!
Lampshade:
He is our most valuable member!
Darth GW7:
anything happen?
DM whispers: Just a note, you don't actually have free will at this point
DM:
Yeah, Canu and Shanto can make an AoO
Canuhearmenow:
With what
Darth GW7:
If they choose
Darth GW7:
:v
DM:
FIST
Nirrti:
grapple
Nirrti:
GRAPPLE
* Canuhearmenow rolls: 1d20 - 1 => 6 - 1 = 5
Darth GW7:
would you guys attack me?
Canuhearmenow:
Hurr hurr
* DM rolls: d20 + 3 => 4 + 3 = 7
Nirrti:
GRAPPLEEEEEEEEE
Darth GW7:
well
Darth GW7:
that was successful
Darth GW7:
sup lamp
* Darth GW7 rolls: d20+8 => 18 + 8 = 26
DM:
:D
Darth GW7:
SUP LAMP
* Darth GW7 rolls: d8+5 => 6 + 5 = 11
Darth GW7:
SUP LAMP
Lampshade:
Well hello that
Lampshade:
Fuck you
Jekko:
lamp is dead
DM:
Dying
DM:
Gawd
Canuhearmenow:
Dying
DM:
There's a difference
* Z'ar Kor thinks "Bahamut forgive me"
DM:
You can't
Nirrti:
i'll forgive you
DM:
:D
Lampshade:
Hey Darth
Nirrti:
with my AXEEeeeeeeeeeee
* Z'ar Kor or maybe not
Lampshade:
Do you like getting healed?
* Z'ar Kor sup bahamut
Darth GW7:
guys
Darth GW7:
gorrister must speak common
Darth GW7:
NEGOTIATE!
* DM rolls: d20 + 2 => 7 + 2 = 9
Nirrti:
fuck.
Nirrti:
negotiating.
Canuhearmenow:
I TRIED
Lampshade:
The time for words is over!
* DM rolls: d20 + 2 => 8 + 2 = 10
Darth GW7:
The time for dying has come!
* DM rolls: d20 + 2 => 14 + 2 = 16
* DM rolls: d20 + 2 => 9 + 2 = 11
* DM rolls: d4 => 3
DM:
Nirrti, take 3 damage.
DM whispers: Make a will save, +2 bonus.
DM whispers: ...
* Darth GW7 rolls: d20+2 => 7 + 2 = 9
Darth GW7:
nope
Lampshade:
Who next?
DM:
Canu

Halfred:
the lizzard has gone mad!

Elias:
Gods damn you Z'ar!
* Canuhearmenow rolls: 1d20 + 3 => 19 + 3 = 22
Lampshade:
I'd like to answer "No shit" but I'm uncoscious
DM:
What... was that?
Canuhearmenow:
Crossbow
DM:
Right
Canuhearmenow:
Naogi
Lampshade:
confirm
Lampshade:
crit
Darth GW7:
that wasn't actually an attack roll
Darth GW7:
just so you know
* Canuhearmenow rolls: 1d20 + 3 => 20 + 3 = 23
Lampshade:
ahaha
Darth GW7:
oh my
DM:
Well
DM:
Roll for Crit
Canuhearmenow:
Is that another crit
Canuhearmenow:
?
DM:
No
* Canuhearmenow rolls: 1d20 + 3 => 4 + 3 = 7
Canuhearmenow:
Wait wait
DM:
What
Lampshade:
roll the damage
Canuhearmenow:
I got the 19 last time
Canuhearmenow:
Oooh
* Canuhearmenow rolls: 2d8 => 9
DM:
Right
Canuhearmenow:
...
* Elias reloads
DM:
Grim's turn.
Darth GW7:
Reload doctor freeman
Darth GW7:
GUYS
Darth GW7:
SET HIM ON FIRE
Darth GW7:
SET HIM ON FIREEEEE
Lampshade:
We fucking can't!
Canuhearmenow:
You're gonna coup Ahwassa aren't you
Darth GW7:
god you guys are shit at this game
* Lampshade rolls: d20+8 => 1 + 8 = 9
Darth GW7:
you have torches use them
Darth GW7:
GOD
DM:
...
Lampshade:
Fuck you Grim
DM:
Grim might.
DM:
Lamp, roll a d100.
* Lampshade rolls: d100 => 60
DM:
Roll for damage.
* Lampshade rolls: d8 => 4
Lampshade:
So what should I reroll as?
DM:
Something competent.
Darth GW7:
unlike grim?
DM:
Shanto takes 4 damage
Lampshade:
Phew
Jekko:
shanto is human shield
Canuhearmenow:
The front of Shanto's head erupts in brain matter and skull fragment as the arrow bursts forth
* Gorrister Old People's Naked Bodies Fishing Secrets With Their Manly Beards
DM:
Haha, what
* DM rolls: d20 + 7 => 9 + 7 = 16
Darth GW7:
AoO from lamp!
DM:
vs Canu
Darth GW7:
oh wait
Canuhearmenow:
Dead
Darth GW7:
Dying*
Canuhearmenow:
nvm
Canuhearmenow:
It's a hit DM
* DM rolls: d8 => 4
Canuhearmenow:
Done
DM:
Make a fortitude save.
Canuhearmenow:
4 HP left
* Canuhearmenow rolls: 1d20 + 2 => 13 + 2 = 15
DM:
Shanto's turn
Lampshade:
Hey Canu
Canuhearmenow:
What
* DM rolls: d20 + 3 => 12 + 3 = 15
Lampshade:
Remember when I said we should erest and you opened that door?
Lampshade:
That was fun
DM:
Lamp's turn.
* Lampshade rolls: d20 => 7
Lampshade:
I bleed
Darth GW7:
well bled
DM:
OH GOD THE BLOOD
Nirrti:
for your panini
DM:
:D
Lampshade:
Can I ask for a divine intervention from Kord?
DM:
Yes
Canuhearmenow:
How
Canuhearmenow:
Oh
Lampshade:
Cool
Nirrti:
ask divine intervention from khorne
Lampshade:
He'd kill me

more blod:
Hey blood!
Nirrti:
not necessarily

blod:
Hey blood!
Nirrti:
if you offered enough blood
Lampshade:
Blod
Lampshade:
Anyways
Lampshade:
Continue onwards
Lampshade:
I hope someone has healing potions
Jekko:
nope
DM:
Nirrti's turn
Nirrti:
can i hit jekko
Jekko:
nope
Canuhearmenow:
Kill the Naogi
Canuhearmenow:
And the mind control ends
Nirrti:
kill both?
Lampshade:
Kill the Naogi
Nirrti:
aoo
DM:
Yea
DM:
4 damage
DM:
OH GOD
Darth GW7:
SO MUCH BLOD
Nirrti:
no, but i'd lose the turn without doing anything
Nirrti:
well i guess i'll try
Canuhearmenow:
Nirrti
Nirrti:
because you guys are failing
Canuhearmenow:
You have 31 HP
DM:
Beat it to death with Lamp's dying body.
* DM rolls: d0 + 2 => Invalid expression: d0 + 2.
Nirrti:
can i?
* DM rolls: d20 + 2 => 10 + 2 = 12
Darth GW7:
DM failed
Darth GW7:
insta win
DM:
Continue
* Nirrti rolls: d20+9 => 11 + 9 = 20
DM:
That's a hit
* Nirrti rolls: d12+7+1 => 6 + 7 + 1 = 14
Lampshade:
It better be fucking dead now
Nirrti:
damn
DM:
Nope
Nirrti:
i could've hit z'ar
Nirrti:
and then he'd gone down aswell
DM whispers: I will end your life if you keep this up
Nirrti:
you guys suck
Canuhearmenow:
How much HP does this thing have
You whisper to DM: ^.^
DM:
Jekko's turn
Canuhearmenow:
We've done like....
* Jekko rolls: d20+2 => 3 + 2 = 5
Canuhearmenow:
37 + 14

Dragon:
rrerr
Jekko:
why!!
DM:
You've done 54 damage.
DM:
Darth
Darth GW7:
Yeeeessss?
Nirrti:
kill urself
Darth GW7:
okay
DM whispers: Will save, then attack Nirrti.
* Darth GW7 rolls: d20+2 => 2 + 2 = 4
Lampshade:
Hah
Darth GW7:
wh... why do you hate me
DM:
Continue the killing
Nirrti:
because khorne
* Darth GW7 rolls: d20+8 => 14 + 8 = 22
Darth GW7:
sup nirrti
Nirrti:
sup
DM:
Roll for damage.
* Darth GW7 rolls: d20+5 => 16 + 5 = 21
Darth GW7:
wait
Nirrti:
i'm going to cleave your ass into oblivion next round FYI
Lampshade:
Who made this blod?
Darth GW7:
never-
* Darth GW7 rolls: d8+5 => 6 + 5 = 11
DM:
Nirrti, take 11 damage.
Canuhearmenow:
Nirrti
Canuhearmenow:
Doubtful
Darth GW7:
You did lamp
Canuhearmenow:
That assumes you kill the Naogi
Darth GW7:
you're bleding
Nirrti:
no
Nirrti:
i'm going to actually cleave the naogi
DM:
Neogi.
Nirrti:
whatever
Darth GW7:
prince abubu
Darth GW7:
BuBWAH
Darth GW7:
whatever
* DM rolls: d20 + 2 => 1 + 2 = 3
DM:
Jekko, make an AoO
Nirrti:
see, i'm going to put z'ar down
* Jekko rolls: d20+2 => 19 + 2 = 21
Jekko:
crit
Darth GW7:
nice
* Jekko rolls: d20+2 => 6 + 2 = 8
DM:
Roll for damage.
Darth GW7:
we keep doing this
DM:
No crit.
Darth GW7:
critting then getting shit crit rolls
Nirrti:
hey i haven't gotten even one crit so
Nirrti:
no wait i have
Nirrti:
one crit
Nirrti:
exactly one crit
DM:
How many crits are there?
Lampshade:
That's what you get for using a greataxe
Nirrti:
billions and billions
Jekko:
aoo count as sneak attack?
DM:
No
Nirrti:
yeah well make me a sandwich and bleed on it
* Jekko rolls: 1d3 => 3
Jekko:
dead?
Darth GW7:
nice
Darth GW7:
full damage
DM:
The lemure explodes into a pile of giblets and lost memories.
Nirrti:
must've been one hell of a hit
DM:
Canu's turn./
Nirrti:
considering the weapon is like the size of a fucking toothpick
* Canuhearmenow rolls: 1d20 + 3 => 3 + 3 = 6
* Elias reloads
Canuhearmenow:
NOPE
DM:
Grim's turn
DM:
Lamp
Lampshade:
Rapid shot!
* Lampshade rolls: d20+6 => 4 + 6 = 10
* Lampshade rolls: d20+6 => 13 + 6 = 19
* Lampshade rolls: d8 => 3
DM:
1 hit
DM:
ok
Lampshade:
Neogi
* DM rolls: d20 + 7 => 3 + 7 = 10
DM:
Right
* DM rolls: d20 +1 => 15 + 1 = 16
* DM rolls: d20 + 1 => 14 + 1 = 15
Nirrti:
i hope it doesn't die yet
Nirrti:
i really want to land a successful hit on z'ar
Nirrti:
might do it even if it dies
* DM rolls: d6 + 3 => 2 + 3 = 5
DM:
Lamp's turn
* Lampshade rolls: d20 => 15
Lampshade:
I bleed
DM:
:P
Lampshade:
Guys, four more round and I'm dead for realz
Canuhearmenow:
I think we'll still be going at this for 4 rounds
Lampshade:
Nirrti, you got any rage left?
Nirrti:
all of it
DM:
Roll a d100 lamp
* Lampshade rolls: d100 => 16
Lampshade:
That can't be good
DM:
Roll another
* Lampshade rolls: d100 => 55
DM:
Right
DM:
Nirrti's turn.
Nirrti:
guys, i hope you won't hate me for this, but i'm seriously going to hit z'ar
* Nirrti rolls: d20+9 => 1 + 9 = 10
Nirrti:
well
Darth GW7:
...
Nirrti:
apparently not
Canuhearmenow:
...
Darth GW7:
good one
Lampshade:
Nope
Canuhearmenow:
Accidentally hit Neogi
DM:
Roll for damage.
* Nirrti rolls: d12+7+1 => 5 + 7 + 1 = 13
Nirrti:
figures the one thing i actually want to do fails
DM:
...
DM:
Um.
DM:
This is...
Darth GW7:
he killed the neogi?
DM:
yeah.
Darth GW7:
OH WOW
Lampshade:
haha
DM:
Oh dear.
Nirrti:
damnit
DM:
Well done... I. I think?
DM:
Do... do you get xp for that?
Nirrti:
i get all of the XP
DM whispers: You come back to reason.
Nirrti:
it was a clever ruse
DM:
AH OF COURSE

Z'ar Kor:
Er.

Elias:
You there Ahwassa? Say something!

OMG'ahr:
I uh... I meant to do that

Z'ar Kor:
What just happened?

Ahwassa:
...

Elias:
You idiot just killed our Cleric!
* Ahwassa bleeds.

Z'ar Kor:
I, uh, what?
Lampshade:
Do I roll?
* blod goes everywhere.
Lampshade:
For bleeding?
* Canuhearmenow rolls: 1d20 + 1 => 13 + 1 = 14
Canuhearmenow:
Heal?
* Darth GW7 rolls: d20 => 4
Nirrti:
can i roll to punch z'ar
Jekko:
fail
DM:
Urm
* Z'ar Kor faints
Jekko:
need 15
Nirrti:
yes
Nirrti:
oh
* Lampshade rolls: d20+3 => 3 + 3 = 6
Nirrti:
i can kick z'ar
* Nirrti rolls: d20+5 => 3 + 5 = 8
Lampshade:
Shanto, save me

Elias:
Skin 'em alive, Omg, I'm sure we could use the leather for boots
* Jekko rolls: d20+1 => 4 + 1 = 5

OMG'ahr:
What me? who do you think I am, a hunter?
DM:
Canu stops Ahwassa from dying of blood loss.

Elias:
So it'll be messy
Lampshade:
He does?
* Elias finishes bandaging up Ahwassa
DM:
Heal check
DM:
Sure
DM:
Right
DM:
She still isn't conscious.
Nirrti:
so how much xp
Jekko:
i thought you need 15
Lampshade:
shhh
DM:
Hm?
DM:
Oh, 14.
DM:
Right
Lampshade:
Gee thanks
DM:
Lamp is still dying.
Nirrti:
how about i roll to heal instead
Canuhearmenow:
Great job Jekko
* Nirrti rolls: d20+1 => 4 + 1 = 5
DM:
You can roll to assist.
Nirrti:
see
Nirrti:
that's how a barbarian heals
Nirrti:
by hitting with an axe
Lampshade:
Shanto?
Jekko:
ill assis the sorere
Jekko:
*sorcerer
Jekko:
so it makes it 15
Lampshade:
Hey, DM
Lampshade:
Make shanto roll
Jekko:
16
DM:
Make a heal check Jekko
Jekko:
it gives 2
* Jekko rolls: d20+1 => 14 + 1 = 15
Jekko:
well that did it
DM:
That works.
DM:
No more blood everywhere oh god you can never wash it away oh god.
Lampshade:
Hey, this might sound crazy
Lampshade:
But I think we should rest
Nirrti:
fuck rest
Nirrti:
i'm going to go kick open the next door

Halfred:
i think she will make it elias

Elias:
You need to work on your damnable ability to resist mind control, Z'ar

Elias:
Next time this happens? I don't care how much pleading you do
* Z'ar Kor is still blacked out
* Z'ar Kor for dramatic effect

OMG'ahr:
Hey the lizard can't do anything about it, he's just such a weak mind
DM:
I would like to point out

Elias:
Let's just rest here
DM:
You don't go back up to full health after a rest.
Lampshade:
To what hp then?
DM:
You're level 3 right?
Lampshade:
Ye
* Halfred shuts the door
Nirrti:
i will eat all of my rations
Nirrti:
eating food always restores HP
Darth GW7:
ALL OF THE RATIONS
DM:
You get 3 health.
Darth GW7:
what
Lampshade:
O yay...
Lampshade:
Right, so we double rest
DM:
I'd be willing to homerule it if you guys want.
Nirrti:
maybe i should eat the other axe too
Lampshade:
With me healing everyone in between
DM:
Because that
DM:
seems kinda
DM:
y'know.
Lampshade:
Yeah
Lampshade:
All that would do
DM:
Will we have a vote?
Lampshade:
Is making us double rest
Lampshade:
And I heal everyone to full

more blod:
Nooooo! my brothers!
Lampshade:
I say full hp from rest
* Darth GW7 snif
Darth GW7:
they will be missed
* Canuhearmenow rolls: 1d20 + 4 => 20 + 4 = 24
Nirrti:
we just rest a really long time
Nirrti:
like
Nirrti:
a week
Canuhearmenow:
That was search
Nirrti:
without waking up
Canuhearmenow:
Neogi and the others
Canuhearmenow:
And around generally
Canuhearmenow:
Also shouldn't have been a +4
Canuhearmenow:
Just a +1
DM:
Well, the huge orbs on the wall are humming along quite nicely.
Canuhearmenow:
Wait no, +3
Darth GW7:
wait what
Lampshade:
Take them!
Darth GW7:
also
Darth GW7:
canu

Halfred:
greedy sorcerer
Darth GW7:
it was a critical success
Darth GW7:
you nub
Canuhearmenow:
I know
Canuhearmenow:
Waiting for results
Lampshade:
Not for skills
Darth GW7:
also
Darth GW7:
what orbs
DM:
The huge orbs in the wall
Darth GW7:
orbs?
Darth GW7:
GUYS
DM:
I mentioned them when you first entered the room.
Darth GW7:
THEY MIGHT BE IMPORTANT
Darth GW7:
LET'S SMASH THEM
DM:
Shall we just have full heal after a rest, then?
Lampshade:
haha
Lampshade:
Yes
Lampshade:
Please
Darth GW7:
After a long rest I suppose
Jekko:
half heal?
Darth GW7:
or a decent rest
Canuhearmenow:
Also how much XP?
Lampshade:
Ye
DM:
500 xp

Elias:
Hey guys
Nirrti:
do i get any extra for my clever ruse

Elias:
This Neogi has some gold on him

Halfred:
gold music to my ears

Elias:
2k gold!
Lampshade:
ooh
Canuhearmenow:
Split between five people
DM:
You see Canu put the orb he took from the previous room into one of the empty sockets.
DM:
The Cathedral begins to shake.
Canuhearmenow:
GRiM, Nirrti, Lamp, Jekko
Canuhearmenow:
And me
Darth GW7:
...
Lampshade:
haha
Darth GW7:
Hey, uh
Darth GW7:
I think you missed someone
Nirrti:
excellent idea
Canuhearmenow:
You were a detriment to the team
Jekko:
yes it is
Darth GW7:
I threw oil!
Darth GW7:
You just didn't utilise it
Lampshade:
lol
Canuhearmenow:
And almost killed our Cleric
Canuhearmenow:
And me
Darth GW7:
not my fault
Canuhearmenow:
And Nirrti
Nirrti:
me?
Canuhearmenow:
Elias is a cold bastard
Nirrti:
that wasn't even close
Nirrti:
i was closer to killing him than he was me
Canuhearmenow:
400 gp for errbody
Lampshade:
Not Z'ar tho
Canuhearmenow:
Yeah
Canuhearmenow:
not Z'ar
Canuhearmenow:
Luckily he's unconscious
Darth GW7:
fuck this I'm leaving
Jekko:
dont make the host angry
Nirrti:
not our fault he's got a weak mind
Canuhearmenow:
If anyone wants to give up some of their gold
Canuhearmenow:
Then be my guest then
Nirrti:
nope
Lampshade:
Over my dead body
Nirrti:
well you're close enough for that
Nirrti:
i'll take your gold too
Lampshade:

Nirrti:

DM:
So, what's going on?
Canuhearmenow:
Sorry Darth, just sorta a throwback to when you guys almost beat me up for that Draconic tablet
Darth GW7:
Uh
Lampshade:
We divided up the gold in a fair way
Darth GW7:
Wasn't I the one who negotiated with you then?
Darth GW7:
And actually helped you figure out what it was?
Canuhearmenow:
Yup!
Nirrti:
wasn't it me who didn't give fucks about it
Darth GW7:
By, y'know, reading draconic?
Darth GW7:
Wasn't that the tablet that got us more loot?
Darth GW7:
Wasn't that the tablet that got you scrolls and a potion?
Nirrti:
wasn't it you who put the cleric in critical condition
Darth GW7:
I have a bad memory for these things clearly

Halfred:
hey elias give me the orb

Elias:
Too late, already inserted it

Halfred:
you did?
* Elias looks at Z'ar, and grumply walks over to him

Halfred:
that was fast
* Elias gives Z'ar 200 gp

Z'ar Kor:
What is this for?
Darth GW7:
hue

Elias:
Part of your share, even though you were trying to kill us

Elias:
Just remember if this happens again, we're going to try and kill you

Z'ar Kor:
Er... What actually happened?
Darth GW7:
Do I actually remember it at all
Jekko:
so are we rested?

Elias:
Your simple mind couldn't take the Neogi's mind control, and proceeded to assault your own friends

Elias:
You almost killed Ahwassa

Z'ar Kor:
Ah. Oh dear. Is she alright?

Elias:
No thanks to you, but yes
DM whispers: It's hazy, but you remember surges of anger and hate towards someone who looks familiar.
DM:
I assume so, Jekko.

Z'ar Kor:
You can't honestly blame me for that, can you? I had no choice in the matter.
Lampshade:
New spells!

Elias:
You lacked the will to resist, which is enough blame
Darth GW7:
magic
Darth GW7:
*snort snort*

Z'ar Kor:
Hrm. If you say so.

Halfred:
lets move on guys ill cheack the door

Elias:
Wait!
DM:
As you walk up to the door, it opens before you. There is a corridor lined with statues of armoured figures. The pair closest to you begin to emit light from their helmets.
* Elias moves to the orbs
* Elias unscrews a few of them and gently places them next to their pedestals

Halfred:
sorcere come here
DM:
The humming noise quietens.
Darth GW7:
Can we make it play a tune?
* Elias keeps one of the orbs in his pack
Nirrti:
SONG OF STORMS
Darth GW7:
Just take out orbs and put them back in a random order
Darth GW7:
X A Y X A Y
Canuhearmenow:
I CAST MAGE ARMOR
Canuhearmenow:
It lasts for 3 hours
Darth GW7:
You played zelda's lullaby!
DM:
Only the volume changes. Not the actual noise.
DM:
Sure, sure.
* Halfred cheaks fo traps
Nirrti:
song of time
Darth GW7:
NO YOU FOOOOOL
* Jekko rolls: d20 +6 => 6 + 6 = 12
DM:
You find no traps.
Darth GW7:
oh boy
* Elias looks at the armored figures, then holds out the orb
DM:
Bugger all happens
* DM rolls: d20 => 8

Ahwassa:
Hey, Z'ar

Ahwassa:
Fuck you

Z'ar Kor:
Er. Yes. I guess I deserve that.

OMG'ahr:
Cat's got a tongue
Darth GW7:
wait
Darth GW7:
let me-
Darth GW7:
let me rephrase that
Darth GW7:
nice formation
Lampshade:
Ye

Halfred:
well ho gose first?
Darth GW7:
except the wizard is at the front
Canuhearmenow:
There we go
Darth GW7:
beautiful
DM:
Hang on a sec
DM:
I'll be back in a minute
Darth GW7:
er
Darth GW7:
no nirrti
Darth GW7:
ranger in the middle
Darth GW7:
Lamp is a combat cleric
Nirrti:
notice the word
Nirrti:
"cleric"
Darth GW7:
notice the word
Darth GW7:
"combat"
Canuhearmenow:
GRiM needs clear line of sight to shoot
Nirrti:
cleric cancels it out
Nirrti:
and does more
Canuhearmenow:
That's why GRiM is there
Darth GW7:
halfred needs to check for traps
DM:
You see no traps, remember?
Jekko:
no re rolls
Darth GW7:
he needs to check further along the corridor
Nirrti:
so z'ar goes first
Nirrti:
incase there are traps
Darth GW7:
No, you go first
Darth GW7:
You're expendable
Darth GW7:
I actually hit things
Jekko:
fine i go
Nirrti:
you're expendable
Nirrti:
i'm not
Darth GW7:
when I'm aiming for them
Nirrti:
i can rage
Nirrti:
and i have killed much more than you
Darth GW7:
I can hit things
DM:
As you walk along the corridor, the statues light up in a similar way to the original pair.
Darth GW7:
I've done much more damage than you have
DM:
Btw
* Elias runs off to pick up the rest of the orbs on the ground
Darth GW7:
Due to the fact that you miss 99% of the time
Nirrti:
actually you haven't
DM:
There are a lot more pipes going into this room.
Darth GW7:
And I've only missed like once or twice
DM:
Continuing on?
Jekko:
that can't be good
Darth GW7:
tap on the pipes
Darth GW7:
what could possible go wrong
Canuhearmenow:
SINGING PIPES
Canuhearmenow:
ARTYOM
Canuhearmenow:
WHERE CABBAGE
DM:
Do you, Darth?
Darth GW7:
Of course
Darth GW7:
not
DM:
Aw, ok.

Ahwassa:
Well this looks interesting...
DM:
Do you open the door, Jekko?
Darth GW7:
Of course
Darth GW7:
not
Jekko:
hide and peek
Darth GW7:
DON'T DO IT JEKKO
Darth GW7:
HE'S LEADING YOU ON
Nirrti:
let me kick it open
Nirrti:
KICK
Nirrti:
THE DOOR IN
Jekko:
peek!!
Darth GW7:
Kick!
Nirrti:
kick halfred THROUGH THE DOOR
Darth GW7:
Punch!
Darth GW7:
Chop!
Darth GW7:
Block!
* Jekko rolls: d20 +10 => 5 + 10 = 15
Darth GW7:
Again!
Jekko:
hide
DM:
As you reach out to touch the door, it swings open.
Jekko:
ah
Nirrti:
CHAAAAAAARGE

Halfred:
well intresting
DM:
You enter a huge room. Skeletal soldiers line the walls at the sides, leading up to a large throne towards the back of the room. There are two creatures here, standing out from the army of skeletons. The first is a tall, frail, mage of some sort – while humanoid, it is distinctly inhuman. Below the waist, it wears black robes, above the waist, where parts of its body are visible, it almost wholly lacks skin – its muscles and organs are on display for all to see, with only slight scraps of flesh binding it together. The other creature is even less pleasant to look upon – a mass of flesh and eyes, crafted into a vaguely humanoid form. Eyes cover its form, disappearing and re-emerging, seemingly travelling with wills of their own. It sits atop its shattered throne, and seems to smile when it sees you. Only, it lacks a proper mouth – a couple of toothless scars rapture the flesh around its “head,” the teeth having migrated to embed themselves elsewhere in the beast. Some horrid amalgamation of flesh and metal, it appears to be physically bonded with the throne on which it sits, as well as the huge machines and tubes stuck into its body. Words echo in your head – “We meet face to face at last. It took you long enough. Too long, yes, much too long. Far too long, even for something that even time cannot kill. But. But. But, my, my, my, my, mmmy, where ARE my manners? Come, travelers, regale me with the tale of why you have come to invade my home! Tell me your reasons for killing my servants! And, and and, and, and most importantly, YES, most importantly, MOST IMPERATIVELY, tell me how you will PAY FOR THESE TRANSGRESSIONS.” Silence falls.
Lampshade:
whoa
Darth GW7:
tl;dr
Darth GW7:
brb dinner
Darth GW7:
feesh and cheeps
DM:
heh

Halfred:
well... elias your turn
Lampshade:
Planar check!
* Lampshade rolls: d20+7 => 6 + 7 = 13
Lampshade:
also religion

Elias:
I...
* Lampshade rolls: d20+7 => 16 + 7 = 23

Elias:
I... Uhh
Nirrti:
that is not dead which can eternal lie
Nirrti:
and with strange aeons even death may die
Lampshade:
What are you quoting?

Elias:
You must be the lord of this cathedral, are you not?
Nirrti:
necronomicon
Lampshade:
Dungeoneerign check by Grim!
* Lampshade rolls: d20+6 => 14 + 6 = 20
Canuhearmenow:
First gotta roll Diplomacy to see how eloquent I should be

Ahwassa:
Hey Elias
* Canuhearmenow rolls: 1d20 + 8 => 13 + 8 = 21

Ahwassa:
That thing is a Secret of Vecna

Ahwassa:
Just by the way

Skullington:
hi frends!
DM:
The skeletons stare into the air in silence.

Elias:
Honored servant of the Keeper of Secrets! We were taken to this Cathedral blind and ignorant. We thought it was abandoned, it was not. We thought this would be easy! It was not. These untruths are but many we've endured in our ignorant march to our objective

???:
Ignorance of... the law, my law, yes. No excuse.

Elias:
We stand before you now, because it is the last place we thought to look for a way out of here

Elias:
Ignorance does not breed contempt, Secret of Secrets!

Elias:
We did not understand your laws!
DM:
What
Canuhearmenow:
You said ignorance of our laws
Canuhearmenow:
And I'm saying we didn't know the laws and didn't maliciously break them
DM:
You uh
DM:
murdered everyone you met

Ahwassa:
They attacked first!
Canuhearmenow:
Technicalities
Lampshade:
not in character
Canuhearmenow:
Self defense
Lampshade:
Yeah

Secret of Vecna:
What barbaric lands one must come from, to think slaughter is innocence.
* Secret of Vecna whispers to the thing on the throne.

Elias:
It is not like we had a decision in the matter, Keeper!

Elias:
In fact I spoke to those within the first chambers for peace, they did not listen

OMG'ahr:
Slaughter is not innocence, it is to satisfy the thirst of my GOD!
DM:
Oh well

Elias:
When we were attacked by one of our four legged pets, I even then tried to find a peaceful way out
Lampshade:
We should go closer to Elias

Elias:
Every encounter we tried peace!

Ahwassa:
It's true!

???:
Silence.
* DM rolls: d20 + 8 => 14 + 8 = 22
Jekko:
well combat time
DM:
Not yet
Lampshade:
I have a plan
Lampshade:
For combat
Jekko:
if that happens
* Elias looks at the thing upon it's throne, then back at the party, almost mournfully
Nirrti is disconnected.
Lampshade is disconnected.
Jekko is disconnected.
DM is disconnected.
Canuhearmenow is disconnected.
Lampshade has connected.
DM has connected.
Nirrti has connected.
DM:
Aaaand, we're back?
Lampshade:
Yep
Lampshade:
Roll init?
Lampshade:
Or....
Canuhearmenow has connected.
Jekko has connected.

???:
Then it shall be war.
DM:
Roll init.
Canuhearmenow:
Why can't I click Elias for impersonation
Darth GW7:
Did I miss something?
* Lampshade rolls: d20-2 => 1 - 2 = -1
Darth GW7:
LOL
DM:
...
Lampshade:
hah
Lampshade:
a
Jekko:
right click
Jekko:
on him
Darth GW7:
Is that the first negative roll we've had
Lampshade:
Yes
* Canuhearmenow rolls: 1d20 + 2 => 14 + 2 = 16
Darth GW7:
Good job.
* Darth GW7 rolls: d20+1 => 17 + 1 = 18
Lampshade:
Now for Grim
* Lampshade rolls: d20+4 => 6 + 4 = 10
Darth GW7:
less bad
Darth GW7:
but only a little
* Jekko rolls: d20 +3 => 20 + 3 = 23

Elias:
No! Not now, not here with them watching!
* Nirrti rolls: d20+2 => 11 + 2 = 13
* DM rolls: d20 + 3 => 7 + 3 = 10
Canuhearmenow:
(in response to something I say out loud during the private convo)

Ahwassa:
Elias! What kind of trouble did you get us into?
Jekko:
monster elias monster elias
DM:
My init now.

Elias:
More like what trouble I KEPT you out of Ahwassa
* DM rolls: d20 + 2 => 19 + 2 = 21
* Elias looks troubled
Darth GW7:
oh my
* DM rolls: d20 + 2 => 15 + 2 = 17
* DM rolls: d20 + 2 => 6 + 2 = 8
* DM rolls: d20 + 2 => 8 + 2 = 10
Darth GW7:
wait
Darth GW7:
FOUR init rolls?
Darth GW7:
something isn't right here
* DM rolls: d20 + 2 => 19 + 2 = 21
Canuhearmenow:
For each column of Skellies
Darth GW7:
oh
* DM rolls: d20 + 11 => 4 + 11 = 15
Darth GW7:
I...
Darth GW7:
oh my
Darth GW7:
+11 init
Darth GW7:
that can't be good
Darth GW7:
I dread to think what sort of AC it has
Nirrti:
i think it's time to rage
Nirrti:
rage, charge, fuck shit up, die
Lampshade:
Ya think?
Lampshade:
Wait
Nirrti:
such is the way of khorne
Lampshade:
I need to buff you into shape first
Lampshade:
So can you do your turn after me?
Nirrti:
dunno
Nirrti:
can i
Lampshade:
Rules say you can
Nirrti:
init says i can't
Nirrti:
khorne waits for no cleric
DM:
Prepare an action
Darth GW7:
according to DA RULEZ
Lampshade:
Cmon, I have a enlarge person with your name on it
Darth GW7:
eew
Darth GW7:
TMI
Lampshade:
Shut up
Nirrti:
darth wishes it was aimed at him
Lampshade:
Or I could do a turn undead the first turn
Lampshade:
and kill loads of skellies
Darth GW7:
My dragon dong is big enough
Canuhearmenow:
But you're asexual
Darth GW7:
That's what made me faint earlier
Nirrti:
how long range does enlarge person have
Darth GW7:
I got an erection
Nirrti:
it was because you remembered you're a dragonborn
Jekko:
10ft
Darth GW7:
Wasn't enough blood
Nirrti:
a silly and stupid race
Lampshade:
30ft
Nirrti:
well BETTER KEEP UP TO MY CHARGE THEN LAMP
Lampshade:
I can move 20ft
Darth GW7:
Half orc is a silly and stupid race
Darth GW7:
it implies a human had sex with an orc
Lampshade:
Well fuck that then
Nirrti:
atleast half-orc is a proper race
Darth GW7:
that's just... eew
Lampshade:
I kill skellies
Darth GW7:
dragonborn is most proper race
* Jekko rolls: d20 +10 => 6 + 10 = 16
Nirrti:
dragonborn is most peon race
Darth GW7:
dragonborn is the most "I WILL FUCK YOU UP WITH FIRE BREATH" race
* DM rolls: d20 + 9 => 18 + 9 = 27
DM:
Surprise round for Nat 20 on init.
DM:
Go Jekko
* Jekko rolls: d20 +2 => 3 + 2 = 5
* Jekko rolls: d20 +2 => 10 + 2 = 12
DM:
Miss
DM:
Wait
DM:
second hits
Lampshade:
Two attacks?
DM:
Surprise round, from nat 20 init.
Lampshade:
oh right
* Jekko rolls: 1d3 => 3
DM:
Right
* Canuhearmenow rolls: 1d20 + 4 => 10 + 4 = 14
DM:
Yes
DM:
Right, Canu, you survive the Mind Rape.
Canuhearmenow:
Mind Rape?
Canuhearmenow:
Oh dear god
DM:
Darth's turn.
Halfred:
oh hi skeliis
Darth GW7:
what does charging do, other than being awesome and doubling movement?
DM whispers: nothing else
Jekko:
+ 2 hit
Lampshade:
and -2 to ac for one round
* Z'ar Kor readies his longsword and charges, roaring as he goes, small flames flickering briefly in his mouth

Z'ar Kor:
FOR BAHAMUUUUUUUUUUUUUT!
* Darth GW7 rolls: d20+8 => 16 + 8 = 24
Nirrti:
can you charge and breath weapon?
DM:
It's a hit.
Darth GW7:
I wasn't
Darth GW7:
I was just charging
Nirrti:
yeah but can you actually do that
Nirrti:
would it benefit on the breath weapon
DM:
I don't think so.
Nirrti:
just curious
* Darth GW7 rolls: d8+5 => 8 + 5 = 13
Darth GW7:
Full damage fuck yeha
DM:
It has to be a simple attack, I think.
DM:
The skeleton shatters.
Nirrti:
well yeah, it wouldn't make much sense
Darth GW7:
one down.
Darth GW7:
15 more to go
Nirrti:
since you know, flames or such don't have much of physical force
DM:
mhm
Darth GW7:
yeah so doing it would essentially result in me running into my own fire
Darth GW7:
which is a bad idea
Lampshade:
Hey Darth, remember the first skeletons here?
* DM rolls: d20 + 1 => 17 + 1 = 18
* DM rolls: d20 + 1 => 12 + 1 = 13
Nirrti:
you're fireproof, aren't you
* DM rolls: d20 + 1 => 16 + 1 = 17
Darth GW7:
Er.
Darth GW7:
I don't think so
* DM rolls: d6 => 4
* DM rolls: d6 => 3
DM:
Jekko, 4 damage
Darth GW7:
I don't recall anything like that
DM:
Canu, 3 damage.
DM:
Canu's turn.

Elias:
Face us one on one, you coward!
Canuhearmenow:
I attack uh
Lampshade:
I meant the whole dungeon
Canuhearmenow:
Skeleton 8 with, you guessed it
Darth GW7:
no, not immune to fire at all
* Canuhearmenow rolls: 2d4 + 2 => 4 + 2 = 6

???:
Very well. Step forward, if you must.
* DM rolls: d20 + 1 => 5 + 1 = 6
DM:
Alright
DM:
THe missiles strike the skeleton, and it shatters. Bones go flying around the room.

Z'ar Kor:
Elias! What are you doing?!
Lampshade:
Do the other skeletons get hit and take damage?

Elias:
I'm saving your damn hides!
Nirrti:
if that smaller thing would move next to elias i could charge it

Ahwassa:
I really hope you know what you're doing

Halfred:
some thing stupid!
Nirrti:
well, close to elias
Nirrti:
damnit
* DM rolls: d20 + 6 => 14 + 6 = 20
Canuhearmenow:
On who?
DM:
You
* DM rolls: 2d4 => 6
Canuhearmenow:
Oh yay
DM:
6 force damage.
DM:
Nirrti's turn
Lampshade:
What spell was it?
Canuhearmenow:
I think it's not magic
Lampshade:
Do spellcraft?
Nirrti:
hmm
Nirrti:
charge two skeletons, hope to hit one, cleave second
* Canuhearmenow rolls: 1d20 + 11 => 8 + 11 = 19
Nirrti:
or kill elias
DM:
It wasn't a spell.
Darth GW7:
"Force damage"
Darth GW7:
Fus ro da?
Canuhearmenow:
Which leaves divine or psionics
DM:
...no.
Darth GW7:
Jedi powers?
Lampshade:
Are there psionics in this campaign?
Jekko:
sith?
DM:
Yes
Lampshade:
okay
DM:
That big guy
DM:
He has psionics.
Lampshade:
Oh
Darth GW7:
oh my
Darth GW7:
but it's okay guys
DM:
Continue, Nirrti.
Darth GW7:
I HAVE THE POWER OF HEART
Darth GW7:
THE POOOOWER OF LOVE
Darth GW7:
DON'T TAKE MONEY
Darth GW7:
DON'T TAKE FAME
Nirrti:
i guess i'll charge those skeletons next to jekko
Darth GW7:
DON'T NEED NO CREDIT CARD TO RIDE THIS TRAAAAIN

OMG'ahr:
SKULLS FOR THE SKULL THRONE!
Lampshade:
But you have 40 move right?
Darth GW7:
THAT'S THE POWER OF LOVE
Nirrti:
lamp
Darth GW7:
Shut up lamp
Nirrti:
charge
Darth GW7:
people are being awesome here
Nirrti:
more attack roll
* Nirrti rolls: d20+11 => 5 + 11 = 16
DM:
That's a hit
Lampshade:
I mean, the secret of vecna is at 75 distance
Nirrti:
thank god for that +2 on charge
Nirrti:
i have 30 move
Nirrti:
not 40
Nirrti:
medium armor
Nirrti:
remember
Lampshade:
ah
Lampshade:
Right
Lampshade:
Nevermind then
Nirrti:
would be 40 in light
* Nirrti rolls: d12+7+1 => 5 + 7 + 1 = 13
Nirrti:
is that enough for kill
Nirrti:
i can never remember the amount of HP for the skeletons
Canuhearmenow:
A 6 killed one
DM:
The skeleton is cleaved in twain.
Lampshade:
There are so many that it better be
Nirrti:
CLEAVE
* Nirrti rolls: d20+11 => 19 + 11 = 30
Darth GW7:
nice
Canuhearmenow:
Oh my god
Darth GW7:
nice round number
* Nirrti rolls: d12+7+1 => 2 + 7 + 1 = 10
Jekko:
crit
Nirrti:
nope
Darth GW7:
this is when he keeps cleaving and kills me and jekko
Jekko:
oh yea
DM:
Cleave only works once
Nirrti:
i would if i had great cleave
Nirrti:
i mean uh
DM:
Great Cleave, however...
DM:
:D
Lampshade:
Who next?
Nirrti:
well lamp, there's your chance to cast spells
DM:
Grim
Lampshade:
He shoots at Secret of Vecna
* Lampshade rolls: d20+8 => 9 + 8 = 17
* Lampshade rolls: d8 => 5
Lampshade:
if hit
DM:
How far away is he?
Canuhearmenow:
90
Lampshade:
90
DM:
Right
Canuhearmenow:
longbow has 120
DM:
Hit
Lampshade:
Says 100 in his sheet
Canuhearmenow:
He lies
Lampshade:
it did 5 damage
DM:
The arrow strikes the creature in the shoulder.
* DM rolls: d20 + 7 => 15 + 7 = 22
* DM rolls: d6 + 3 => 6 + 3 = 9
Darth GW7:
we are killing quite a few skeletons
Darth GW7:
by the way
Lampshade:
Yep
Darth GW7:
what has skullington been doing this whole time
Canuhearmenow:
Skellies are the least of our worries
Nirrti:
if i only had greatcleave
Darth GW7:
and his friends
Lampshade:
Skulking
DM:
Lamp
Lampshade:
My turn?

Z'ar Kor:
Hey, skull! Would you mind giving us a hand?
DM:
His friends died, Darth
DM:
Yeah, Lamo
DM:
Lamp
DM:
:(
Darth GW7:
oh...
Darth GW7:
oh dear
Lampshade:
I cast
Lampshade:
Turn undead!
Darth GW7:
"all of our friends are dead 8("

Skullington:
ALL MY FRIENDS ARE DEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAD

Z'ar Kor:
...
Lampshade:
I forgot what to roll

Z'ar Kor:
Never mind.
DM:
...for?
* Lampshade rolls: d20+4 => 2 + 4 = 6
Lampshade:
I reroll
* Lampshade rolls: d20+4 => 16 + 4 = 20
Lampshade:
Better
Lampshade:
Used my luck now
DM:
6 hd
* Lampshade rolls: 2d6+3+2 => 11 + 3 + 2 = 16
DM:
...well.
Lampshade:
so
Lampshade:
I kill them all?
Lampshade:
Bye Skull
Lampshade:
The range is 60 feet
Lampshade:
So some survive
Darth GW7:
http://gunshowcomic.com/comics/20111019-schooloffish.png
Lampshade:
Jekko
Darth GW7:
this is skull
Darth GW7:
what the hell just-
Lampshade:
Use the range thing
Darth GW7:
you... you MONSTER
Lampshade:
One skeleton more
Darth GW7:
LAMP
Darth GW7:
YOU KILLED SKULLINGTON
DM:
The room fills with bright light. When your eyes re-adjust, half the skeletons lie in piles of rubble.
Lampshade:
You forgot one

Elias:
That was very impressive

Skullington:
WHYYYYY OH GOD WHYYYYYYYY
DM:
Jekko's turn

Ahwassa:
How about we even the odds a bit

Skullington:
I THOUGHT YOU GUYS LOVED MEEEEEEEEEEEE

Skullington:
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
* Skullington disintegrates into a pile of ash
Jekko:
done
DM:
Nirrti, make a will save.
DM:
Lamp, make a will save.
* Nirrti rolls: d20+2 => 9 + 2 = 11
* Lampshade rolls: d20+6 => 6 + 6 = 12
DM:
Oh ho.
DM:
Who wants to go first?
Lampshade:
This sounds fun
* DM rolls: 2d10 => 6
* DM rolls: 2d10 => 12

???:
I CAST FIST!
DM:
Lamp, 6 damage, Nirrti, 12.
* DM rolls: d20 + 1 => 13 + 1 = 14
Jekko:
miss
DM:
Darth's turn

Elias:
Missss
Darth GW7:
MY TURN
Darth GW7:
might as well kill this last skelly
Nirrti:
lamp, where's my enlarge person

Skeleton 13:
You forgot me
* Darth GW7 rolls: d20+8 => 6 + 8 = 14
Darth GW7:
shut up you don't count
Lampshade:
I thought killing all the skeletons was more important
DM:
That's a hit

Skully Skellinski:
Skellinksi at your service!
* Darth GW7 rolls: d8+5 => 3 + 5 = 8
DM:
You stab the skeleton.
DM:
Somehow, this manages to kill it.
Darth GW7:
no i don't
Nirrti:
canu, FYI, if you move away from there, i'll be able to charge the fucker
Darth GW7:
longswords are slashing weapons
DM:
Point still stands.
Canuhearmenow:
60 feet?
Nirrti:
55
Darth GW7:
If I slash at bones
Darth GW7:
they break
Darth GW7:
I sweep them aside with my blows
DM:
Uh... Well, the skeletons are dead, so Canu's turn.
Nirrti:
well, not the best choice of action
Canuhearmenow:
I cast MM on the Secret
Nirrti:
because it's targeting you
* Canuhearmenow rolls: 2d4 + 2 => 5 + 2 = 7
DM:
Right
Lampshade:
Nirrti
Lampshade:
This tie
Lampshade:
time
Lampshade:
Wait
Nirrti:
i cannot
Lampshade:
Yes you can
Nirrti:
I ACHE FOR THE THIRST OF BLOOD
Canuhearmenow:
OH GOD
* DM rolls: d20 + 4 => 4 + 4 = 8
Canuhearmenow:
GUYS GUYS
Nirrti:
told you canu
* DM rolls: d20 + 4 => 6 + 4 = 10
Nirrti:
i fucking told you
Lampshade:
Oh, nevermind
DM:
Welp
Canuhearmenow:
I'm now
DM:
Nirrti.
Canuhearmenow:
Oh missed
Lampshade:
Go into his corner
Lampshade:
Otherwise no bigger Nirrti
Nirrti:
i will run closer
Lampshade:
Wait, damnit halfred
Nirrti:
yep
Lampshade:
Can you jump over him?
Jekko:
what
Lampshade:
You're in the way!
Jekko:
just jump
Nirrti:
that's the closest i can get
Nirrti:
can't jump in charge
Lampshade:
Hmm, true
Nirrti:
it's charge, not run
Darth GW7:
you can only jump your speed anyway
DM:
Done?
Nirrti:
well, i can't do anything else, unless you guys want me to charge the skeleton
Darth GW7:
er
Darth GW7:
if you like
Lampshade:
Do it
Lampshade:
You can attack Vecna dude anyways next turn
* Nirrti rolls: d20+11 => 7 + 11 = 18
DM:
Hit
Jekko:
hit
* Nirrti rolls: d12+7+1 => 3 + 7 + 1 = 11
Lampshade:
And ded
Darth GW7:
pow
DM:
The skeleton breaks.

Z'ar Kor:
No more skeletons.
DM:
Grim

Z'ar Kor:
I still miss skullington though -sniff-
Lampshade:
and shoot
* Lampshade rolls: d20+8 => 12 + 8 = 20
DM:
Hit

Z'ar Kor:
He lost his friends and his life.. all in just a few short hours.
Lampshade:
at vecna thing
* Lampshade rolls: d8 => 6
* Z'ar Kor wipes a tear from his eye
Canuhearmenow:
$20 monopoly dollars says this thing has triple digit HP
DM:
heh
Lampshade:
Deal
DM:
Lamp's turn
Lampshade:
You shall mail it to me
Canuhearmenow:
Speaking of which Lamp
Lampshade:
Because it will have 99 hp
Nirrti:
well hey, maybe i can actually score a crit and see what the fuck this thing does
Darth GW7:
monopoly money is more valuable than zimbabwe dollars
Darth GW7:
true story
Lampshade:
haha
Lampshade:
hmm
Lampshade:
Can I charge with touch attack?
Darth GW7:
if he crits and instakills it
Darth GW7:
that would be
Darth GW7:
amazing
Lampshade:
nevermind
Darth GW7:
stop touching things that don't belong to you
Lampshade:
I cast
Lampshade:
Spiritual Weapon
Nirrti:
ENLARGE
Nirrti:
PERSON
Nirrti:
bitch
Darth GW7:
spiritual weapon?
Lampshade:
No range
Nirrti:
fu
Darth GW7:
Wouldn't that pass through people?
Darth GW7:
also enlarge me
Darth GW7:
I could be BIGGER
Nirrti:
you'd be smaller
Lampshade:
284 players handbook Hjort
Nirrti:
remember, you're a shorty
Darth GW7:
ENLARGE MEEEEE
Nirrti:
TINY LIL' OL' MAN
Darth GW7:
ENLARGEEEE MEEEEEEEEEE
Nirrti:
MORE BLOOD FOR KHORNE
Lampshade:
So
Lampshade:
DM, got the spell?
Nirrti:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V0lYv-UsPRw
DM:
mhm
Nirrti:
this is how OMG'ahr sounds like
Lampshade:
The weapon attacks Vecna thing
* Lampshade rolls: d20+2 => 7 + 2 = 9
Lampshade:
and misses
Darth GW7:
so badass and edgey
Nirrti:
aka Darth is jealous
Darth GW7:
never played warhammer so not really
Lampshade:
I guess it's Jekko
Darth GW7:
;v
Nirrti:
so even more so then, hah
Canuhearmenow:
Who is enlarged?
Lampshade:
No one
Darth GW7:
can't be jealous of something if I don't even know what the fuck it is
DM:
Jekko
Canuhearmenow:
aww
Lampshade:
I cast spiritual weapon
Canuhearmenow:
NO
Canuhearmenow:
NO
Canuhearmenow:
DON'T
Canuhearmenow:
NOT THERE
Canuhearmenow:
Z'ar can't charge now
Nirrti:
jekko
Nirrti:
chargeblocker 2012
DM:
Up one.
Canuhearmenow:
Jekko, just don't attack it
DM:
You flank and Nirrt can still charge
Darth GW7:
You can go one more square up without being AoO#d
Nirrti:
i'm going to charge the big fuck on the throne
Nirrti:
and rage
Nirrti:
i mean
Nirrti:
rage
Nirrti:
charge
Nirrti:
fuck shit up
Jekko:
flank
DM:
Right
Jekko:
so what flank gives?
Canuhearmenow:
+2
* Jekko rolls: d20 +4 => 15 + 4 = 19
Nirrti:
can you chargeflank?
Darth GW7:
nice
Nirrti:
POWERFLANKING
DM:
That's a hit
Canuhearmenow:
BACKSTAB?
Darth GW7:
nirrti
Darth GW7:
that's called
Darth GW7:
anal sex
DM:
Not on undead.
* Jekko rolls: 1d3 => 2
Nirrti:
it's called powerflanking
Darth GW7:
TWO DAMAGE
Darth GW7:
OH YEAH
Nirrti:
because i named it so
Lampshade:
That thing is undead?
Canuhearmenow:
Better then 0 Darth
Darth GW7:
It was already called anal sex
Lampshade:
Awesome!
Nirrti:
hold on
Nirrti:
backstab + flanking + charge
DM:
...oh.
Darth GW7:
How do you backstab?
DM:
...oh my.
DM:
heh
Darth GW7:
As in
Nirrti:
i don't
Darth GW7:
what are the conditions
Nirrti:
you stab
Nirrti:
at someone's back
Darth GW7:
helpful
Nirrti:
obvious
Darth GW7:
and what are the effects
Nirrti:
you stab
Lampshade:
it's more damage
Darth GW7:
ah
Lampshade:
1d6 at that level
Darth GW7:
that's neat.
Canuhearmenow:
Did ??? just move
* Jekko rolls: 2d6 => 10
DM:
Yes
Darth GW7:
yes
Darth GW7:
yes it did
Canuhearmenow:
But isn't it
Canuhearmenow:
Isn't it attached to a throne
Darth GW7:
clearly the throne moved too
Nirrti:
throne moves on rails
Lampshade:
The throne has tiny wheels under it
Canuhearmenow:
Oh god
DM:
It can teleport
Darth GW7:
another skeleton?
Lampshade:
Oh come on
Canuhearmenow:
Nirrti, the Bloodletter quoted Sega
Nirrti:
it's got tiny little barleys under it
Lampshade:
And it shits skeletons?
Canuhearmenow:
"Terrible, terrible damage"
Lampshade:
Who's turn?
DM:
That was a spell, Canu
Jekko:
done
Lampshade:
Canu
Lampshade:
Hint hint
Darth GW7:
Canu
Canuhearmenow:
What
Darth GW7:
spellcraft
Canuhearmenow:
Oh
Darth GW7:
hint
Canuhearmenow:
Lemme do so
* Canuhearmenow rolls: 1d20 + 11 => 16 + 11 = 27
DM:
Darth, make a will save.
* Darth GW7 rolls: d20 => 17
Darth GW7:
WOO
DM:
Right
Darth GW7:
NO DOMINATING TODAY
Darth GW7:
NO SIR!
Nirrti:
rage's a free action, right
Lampshade:
It somehow succeeded
Lampshade:
Yes
Canuhearmenow:
Ok I'm dead
Darth GW7:
owlbear skeleton?
Darth GW7:
It looks like a human skeleton to me
* DM rolls: d20 + 6 => 11 + 6 = 17
DM:
Hit?
Canuhearmenow:
yes
* DM rolls: d6 + 5 => 4 + 5 = 9
DM:
9 damage.
Canuhearmenow:
Dying
Darth GW7:
oh wow
Lampshade:
How do you have so little hp??
Darth GW7:
wizard
Nirrti:
i think elias should try to
Canuhearmenow:
Had 17 initially
DM:
hd 4
Nirrti:
put himself back together
Lampshade:
What happened to the rest of your hp?
Canuhearmenow:
I have been kinda attacked a lot by the Secret
Darth GW7:
he lost it
Canuhearmenow:
And the ??
Darth GW7:
clearly
Nirrti:
they scurried off
Canuhearmenow:
???&
Lampshade:
Oh right
Lampshade:
forgot
Lampshade:
sorry
DM:
The newly summoned skeleton tears open your skin, trying to defend it's master.
DM:
Darth's turn.

Elias:
I... It hurts....

Z'ar Kor:
ELIAS!
* Z'ar Kor charge
Nirrti:
THE CHOSEN ONE
Darth GW7:
kind of
DM:
...
DM:
no
Darth GW7:
no not really
DM:
That's not a charge
Darth GW7:
whatever
Darth GW7:
It's 30 movement anyway
* DM rolls: 5d12 => 39
Darth GW7:
so I walked quick-
Darth GW7:
wait what
DM:
Nothin
DM:
continue
Darth GW7:
THAT BETTER NOT BE A DAMAGE ROLL
DM:
God no
Canuhearmenow:
Health probs
Canuhearmenow:
It regained health
* Z'ar Kor attacks the owlbear skeleton
* Darth GW7 rolls: d20+8 => 17 + 8 = 25
DM:
...hit.
* Darth GW7 rolls: d8+5 => 3 + 5 = 8
Lampshade:
Owlbears are like moonkins right?
Darth GW7:
...what
DM:
oops, forgot that
DM:
Sorry
Lampshade:
You hit it and it grew
DM:
...
Darth GW7:
oh god what have I DONE
Darth GW7:
I KILLED US ALL
DM:
Roll for damage
Darth GW7:
I did
Darth GW7:
:v
Darth GW7:
do you want me to roll again
DM:
no
Darth GW7:
then why would you ask
Darth GW7:
nub
Canuhearmenow:
This is probably what Elias sounds like, without the etherealeness
Canuhearmenow:
(in Steam chat)
DM:
Canu
Canuhearmenow:
Yes?
Canuhearmenow:
I'm rolling concentration to stabilize
* Canuhearmenow rolls: 1d20 + 7 => 12 + 7 = 19
DM:
what
Canuhearmenow:
How do I stabilize
Lampshade:
You roll d20
DM:
Roll a d100
Lampshade:
and hope for a 20
Lampshade:
oh
* Canuhearmenow rolls: 1d100 => 36
DM:
Aw well
Lampshade:
I thought it was somehow else
Canuhearmenow:
-2
DM:
Jekko, make an AoO.
* Jekko rolls: d20 +2 => 9 + 2 = 11
* Secret of Vecna reaches down towards Elias.
Canuhearmenow:
What
Canuhearmenow:
What what what
* Secret of Vecna snatches the book from his pockets.

Z'ar Kor:
No!
Canuhearmenow:
Is there anything Elias can do?
Canuhearmenow:
Even if it's not effective?
Lampshade:
He can bleed

Secret of Vecna:
...this is not the end, child.
Lampshade:
Bleed on him, that'll show him
Canuhearmenow:
Child?
DM:
And, with a flash of light, it disappears.
Lampshade:
The book?
Canuhearmenow:
Gone
DM:
Goes with it.
Lampshade:
oh, the whole thing
Darth GW7:
wonderful
DM:
Nirrti
Jekko:
there go the evidence
Nirrti:
RAGE
Nirrti:
RAGE AGAINST THE DYING OF THE LIGHT
Lampshade:
Position yourself on right under him on the map
Lampshade:
That way I can enlarge
Nirrti:
also charge
DM:
Roll to hit
* Nirrti rolls: d20+13 => 19 + 13 = 32
Lampshade:
Ouch
Lampshade:
I really wish you had a greatsword now
DM:
Still not a crit?
Lampshade:
Nope
Nirrti:
nope
Nirrti:
since no 20
DM:
Damn
Nirrti:
:|
DM:
Roll to damage.
Nirrti:
i wish i had used power attack
Nirrti:
would've done way more damage
Lampshade:
Same
DM:
Roll to murder.
* Nirrti rolls: d12+10+1 => 2 + 10 + 1 = 13
Nirrti:
or not
Lampshade:
2
Nirrti:
maybe next turn
Nirrti:
when large
Lampshade:
Maybe
Nirrti:
what did enlarge person give
Lampshade:
2 str -2 dex
Lampshade:
against large enemies like this
Lampshade:
and better weapon damage
Nirrti:
so then my STR is +8
DM:
You slice at the wires and tubes connecting it to the cathedral. Some are chopped in half. The whole place begins to shake, and parts of the ceiling begin to crumble.
Lampshade:
The weapon damage is the big thing
DM:
Grim's turn.
Lampshade:
Oh
Nirrti:
so enlarge + rage + power attack = ?
* Lampshade rolls: d20+8 => 5 + 8 = 13
Lampshade:
I shoot the skellie
DM:
Hit
* Lampshade rolls: d8 => 6
Lampshade:
+2
Lampshade:
+1
Lampshade:
*
Lampshade:
for point blank
Canuhearmenow:
+1
* DM rolls: d20 + 3 => 10 + 3 = 13
* DM rolls: d6 + 3 => 3 + 3 = 6
DM:
Lamp's turn
Nirrti:
so if you do enlarge me, i can roll d20+9 and then i can add +6 to dmg
Lampshade:
I cast enlarge person
Lampshade:
on Nirrti
Nirrti:
and then we just better fucking hope i hit
Lampshade:
and my spiritual wapon hits the skeleton
* Lampshade rolls: d20+2 => 11 + 2 = 13
* Lampshade rolls: d8+1 => 4 + 1 = 5
Lampshade:
for 5 damage
DM:
Alright.
Nirrti:
EXTRA LARGE
DM:
Jekko's turn.
Lampshade:
You get hit if you do that
Lampshade:
Twice
DM:
indeed
* Jekko rolls: d20 +2 => 19 + 2 = 21
DM:
Hit
Lampshade:
crit
* Jekko rolls: d20 +2 => 15 + 2 = 17
Lampshade:
I think
DM:
Right
DM:
Crit.
Canuhearmenow:
2d3 oh boy
* Jekko rolls: 2d3 => 5
Lampshade:
I like how it's JEKKO who crits
Lampshade:
and deals 5 damage
DM:
Nirrti, make an AoO
Lampshade:
Why?
DM:
Because
DM:
Reasons
Nirrti:
so wait what
Lampshade:
No idea
Nirrti:
hold on
* Nirrti rolls: d20+12 => 17 + 12 = 29
DM:
Roll for damage.
* Nirrti rolls: d12+12+1 => 1 + 12 + 1 = 14
Nirrti:
really
Nirrti:
1
Nirrti:
really
Nirrti:
fucking
Nirrti:
really
Lampshade:
wait
Lampshade:
You're large now
Lampshade:
you do 3d6 damage
Nirrti:
oh
Lampshade:
instead of d12
Nirrti:
well i forgot that already
Canuhearmenow:
Just roll a 1d6
Canuhearmenow:
And add that
Lampshade:
woudln't be the same
DM:
and add 1
DM:
because
Lampshade:
But it still is different
DM:
you couldn't get a 1
Nirrti:
how about i roll 2d3?
DM:
sure
Lampshade:
Like with 2d6 the most likely result is 7
Nirrti:
well fuck if i know
Nirrti:
what do i roll
Lampshade:
3d6
Canuhearmenow:
2d3 + 1
DM:
no
DM:
just 2d3
* Nirrti rolls: 2d3 => 5
DM:
Now, make a reflex save.
Nirrti:
do i get minus for being large
Nirrti:
on reflex
DM:
Um
Lampshade:
it's the dex
Lampshade:
I think
Jekko:
-1
* Nirrti rolls: d20+2 => 15 + 2 = 17
DM:
Good save. You only take half damage from this.
* DM rolls: 5d8 => 21
Lampshade:
........what
Nirrti:
so 10?
Lampshade:
the
Canuhearmenow:
Was that
Canuhearmenow:
Uhh
Canuhearmenow:
What
Nirrti:
dunno
Nirrti:
but i sure as hell hope i'm going to crit
Nirrti:
because i want to know what the weapon does
Nirrti:
plus
DM:
Fire explodes around the creature. Your skin is now charred.
Nirrti:
DAMAGEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
DM:
Plus
DM:
Lamp
Lampshade:
?
DM:
Will save
* Lampshade rolls: d20+6 => 18 + 6 = 24
Lampshade:
Nope
DM:
Right
DM:
Darth's turn
Nirrti:
hold on
Nirrti:
since my damage is now 3d6
Nirrti:
do i roll 3d6x3 if i crit
Canuhearmenow:
9d6
Darth GW7:
Okay
Darth GW7:
I attack the skeleton some more
* Darth GW7 rolls: d20+8 => 19 + 8 = 27
Darth GW7:
CRIT
* Darth GW7 rolls: d20+8 => 19 + 8 = 27
Darth GW7:
...CRIT
* Darth GW7 rolls: d20+8 => 17 + 8 = 25
Darth GW7:
not crit
DM:
Darth
DM:
you only roll for threats
DM:
not crits on threats
Canuhearmenow:
I wish we had exploding dice
Darth GW7:
What do you mean
Nirrti:
i wish i had good dice
DM:
Roll for damage.
DM:
...
Darth GW7:
Waht do you mean hjort
Darth GW7:
About critting on thread
Darth GW7:
*threat
Lampshade:
You can't do infinite damage
Darth GW7:
Only if you keep rolling crits?
Lampshade:
So you can't keep critting on one hit
Darth GW7:
oh
Darth GW7:
that sucks
DM:
The fact that the second it a crit, is not relevant.
Darth GW7:
fine
DM:
Roll for damage.
Darth GW7:
Is it just twice the weapon damage
Darth GW7:
Or twice the weapon damage plus mods
Canuhearmenow:
2d8 + mod
* Darth GW7 rolls: 2d8+5 => 7 + 5 = 12
DM:
Right
DM:
The skeleton collapses in a pile of bones and ash, before disappearing into thin air.
Darth GW7:
Sorry, am trying to make a new deus ex thread D:
DM:
Canu
DM:
Roll to not die.
Canuhearmenow:
Stabilize or just not die
DM:
the former
* Canuhearmenow rolls: 1d100 => 52
DM:
Nope
Nirrti:
so canu not not dies
DM:
Nirrti's turn.
Nirrti:
well
Nirrti:
power attack is go
Nirrti:
taking 3 from attack roll, so i'll be adding 6 to damage if i hit
* Nirrti rolls: d20+9 => 13 + 9 = 22
DM:
It's a hit
Nirrti:
where are my crits
Nirrti:
seriously
* Nirrti rolls: 3d6+12+1+6 => 11 + 12 + 1 + 6 = 30
Lampshade:
ouch
Nirrti:
that will be adequate
Nirrti:
RUSTY METAL SKULLGUN
DM:
In a frenzy, you hack through the throne itself. The creature is now free to fly through the cathedral. Parts of its flesh slough off as the wiring falls from its body. As it rises into the air, the cathedral begins to collapse. The part you are in is now falling.
DM:
Grim's turn.

Ahwassa:
This is working just GREAT!

OMG'ahr:
BLOOD AGAINST BLOOD
Lampshade:
He rapid shoots
* Elias groans
* Lampshade rolls: d20+6 => 20 + 6 = 26
* Lampshade rolls: d20+6 => 12 + 6 = 18
DM:
...
* Lampshade rolls: d20+6 => 9 + 6 = 15
DM:
Well
Lampshade:
How many hit?
DM:
All of them
* Lampshade rolls: 3d8 => 8
Lampshade:
I am mad
DM:
...oh well.
Canuhearmenow:
GRiM wins the day again
DM:
The arrows pierce the fleshy strips hanging from the creature's body. It moans in agony from a thousand hellish mouths.
* DM rolls: d20 + 5 => 11 + 5 = 16
Lampshade:
Was that shooting three arrows?
Jekko:
so its ac is smaler then 15
* DM rolls: d6 + 3 => 3 + 3 = 6
DM:
Lamp's turn.
Lampshade:
first
* Lampshade rolls: d20+2 => 4 + 2 = 6
DM:
wait
Lampshade:
the spiritual weapon misses and vanishes
DM:
was that the weapon?
Lampshade:
Yes
DM:
Hang on
DM:
What page, again?
Lampshade:
284
Lampshade:
Hey Nirrti
Nirrti:
canu
Nirrti:
the skeletons dance to http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=K2rwxs1gH9w
DM:
Make a caster check
Lampshade:
Wanna get +4 to strength?
DM:
d20 + 3
Nirrti:
sure
Nirrti:
why not
* Lampshade rolls: d20+3 => 20 + 3 = 23
Lampshade:
huehue
Nirrti:
it's fucking through the roof already
DM:
:D
Lampshade:
so
Nirrti:
+4 str?
DM:
It disappears
Lampshade:
I cast Bull's Strength on Nirrti
DM:
continue
DM:
Right
Lampshade:
Get 4 str
Nirrti:
what disappears?
DM:
Jekko's turn
Lampshade:
My spiritual weapon
Nirrti:
oh
DM:
The spiritual weapon Lamp summoned
Nirrti:
str is meagre 30
Lampshade:
haha
* Jekko rolls: d20 +2 => 20 + 2 = 22
Jekko:
crit
Lampshade:
OH COME ON!
Nirrti:
jekko
* Jekko rolls: d20 +2 => 10 + 2 = 12
Nirrti:
why you steal my crit rolls
DM:
Not a crit
Lampshade:
How copme he gets all the fucking crits
Nirrti:
because halfling
Lampshade:
I want to see Nirrti crit now
Lampshade:
It'll be awesome
* Jekko rolls: 1d3 => 2
Nirrti:
indeed
Canuhearmenow:
Uhh
Canuhearmenow:
The place is collapsing all around us guys
DM:
Shuddup
DM:
You're dying
Canuhearmenow:
Sorry, I mean
Lampshade:
We're taking this thing down!
Nirrti:
fuck that i have huge guts and muscles to break through dimensions
Canuhearmenow:
Mhhhmrrmrmhmhhhmmmrmrrr
Lampshade:
Yes?
DM:
heh
DM:
Uh
Nirrti:
whose turn
DM:
Nirrti, Lamp, Will saves please
* Lampshade rolls: d20+6 => 5 + 6 = 11
Lampshade:
ohshit
DM:
Nirrti
* Nirrti rolls: d20+4 => 1 + 4 = 5
Nirrti:
gj
Lampshade:
OH SHIT
* DM rolls: 2d10 => 13
Nirrti:
sure feels good to have GOOD FUCKING ROLLS
Lampshade:
The steroid giant is loose!
* DM rolls: 2d10 => 8
DM:
Lamp, 13 damage, Nirrti, 8.
DM:
Ethereal tendrils of madness touch your minds. It is becoming painful to think.
Nirrti:
i need not to think
Nirrti:
KHORNE WILL GUIDE MY BLADE
Darth GW7:
I've seen enough hentai to-
DM:
Darth's turn.
Darth GW7:
We've done this joke already
DM:
Yeah
Darth GW7:
CHAAAAAAAAAAAAARGE ONCE MORE
Nirrti:
i bet he crits too
* Darth GW7 rolls: d20+8 => 18 + 8 = 26
Darth GW7:
not quite
Nirrti:
and then i roll 1 again
Lampshade:
Almost
* Darth GW7 rolls: d8+5 => 7 + 5 = 12
Darth GW7:
almost full damage
Nirrti:
well then i'll roll 2
Darth GW7:
1 off in each case
DM:
Canu
DM:
Roll to stop dying
* Canuhearmenow rolls: 1d100 => 3
Canuhearmenow:
Wow
DM:
...nope.
Canuhearmenow:
-1 again?
DM:
Yup
Lampshade:
Sorry, I need to keep Nirrti alive for now
* Elias leaks precious bodily fluids
DM:
Nirrti's turn.
Nirrti:
i still have 8hp
Lampshade:
I have 2d8 heal up my sleeve
Nirrti:
i shall do the same i did before, power attack with -3 on attack and +6 on dmg if hit
Lampshade:
ok
Lampshade:
Crit!
Lampshade:
CRIT!
* Nirrti rolls: d20+11 => 1 + 11 = 12
Nirrti:
told you
Lampshade:
.............
Nirrti:
that i'd roll 1
DM:
...
Nirrti:
that's just my luck isn't it
Nirrti:
it's going to hit ahwassa
Nirrti:
and she'll splatter like a bug
DM:
Roll a d100
* Nirrti rolls: d100 => 45
DM:
Roll for damage.
Lampshade:
Well
Lampshade:
Nice knowing you guys
* Nirrti rolls: 3d6+15+1+6 => 14 + 15 + 1 + 6 = 36
DM:
Darth, take 36 damage.
Darth GW7:
I...
Darth GW7:
what
DM:
Yeah
Nirrti:
must be divine retribution
Canuhearmenow:
2 HP left
DM:
Grim's turn

Z'ar Kor:
Ye gods... ouch...
Lampshade:
Buffing Nirrti was a great idea!
Nirrti:
sure was
* DM rolls: d20 => 3

Z'ar Kor:
Does this... make us even?
Lampshade:
You know
Lampshade:
He ran out of arrows
Canuhearmenow:
He's like a big steroid ape!
DM:
...
Canuhearmenow:
he's firing air
Lampshade:
Charge!
* Lampshade rolls: d20+4 => 7 + 4 = 11
Lampshade:
And miss
DM:
Ayup
Nirrti:
you should've healed z'ar
Canuhearmenow:
Heal someone Lamp
* DM rolls: d20 + 5 => 10 + 5 = 15
Lampshade:
Dude, it was Grim
* DM rolls: d6 + 3 => 6 + 3 = 9
Nirrti:
oh
DM:
Lamp's turn
Nirrti:
how long does enlarge person last
Nirrti:
3 rounds?
Lampshade:
Long enough
Lampshade:
3 min I think
* Lampshade rolls: 2d8+3 => 12 + 3 = 15
Lampshade:
Nirrti, get 15 hp
Lampshade:
And I move there
Nirrti:
my rage's still got what, 3 or 4 rounds left
Jekko:
whos turn?
DM:
Eh
DM:
Yours
DM:
Everyone
DM:
Make balance checks
* Lampshade rolls: d20-2 => 12 - 2 = 10
Canuhearmenow:
What about me
DM:
...not you.
Canuhearmenow:
I just roll around like a log then
* Jekko rolls: d20 +5 => 16 + 5 = 21
Nirrti:
did enlarge person give minus to dex
Nirrti:
i already forgot
Lampshade:
yes
Lampshade:
-2
Canuhearmenow:
yes
Nirrti:
so -1 mod
Lampshade:
Yes
* Nirrti rolls: d20+1 => 11 + 1 = 12
* Elias collides with the wall and explodes in a shower of gore
Lampshade:
Wait, does balance get minus from armor?
DM:
probably
Lampshade:
shit
Lampshade:
I got 6 then
DM:
Yeah, Armour Check penalty
Nirrti:
well i got 9
DM:
Darth?
Lampshade:
Yeah, I get a 6
Nirrti:
TIMBERRRRRRRRRRRR
DM:
Lamp and Nirrti are now prone
Darth GW7:
er
DM:
roll for grim
Darth GW7:
Yes?
DM:
Balance check
* Lampshade rolls: d20+2 => 17 + 2 = 19
* Darth GW7 rolls: d20+1 => 11 + 1 = 12
Lampshade:
He stays up!
Darth GW7:
I possibly don't

???:
I shall tear you down, and the skies along with you.
DM:
Apply Armour penalty, Darth
Darth GW7:
What penalty
Lampshade:
-4
Darth GW7:
k
Lampshade:
for you
DM:
Darth is prone
Lampshade:
wait, -2
Lampshade:
sorry
DM:
-2?
Lampshade:
Thought you had breast plate
Darth GW7:
Wait
DM:
Darth is not prone
Lampshade:
yeah
Darth GW7:
Why do I have a penalty
Darth GW7:
I'm wearing light armour
Lampshade:
Armor check penalty
Darth GW7:
Oh
Darth GW7:
shield
Lampshade:
It still has it
Lampshade:
oh right, I forgot tha
Lampshade:
that
* DM rolls: d20 + 6 => 8 + 6 = 14
Lampshade:
yeah, it's -4
DM:
Darth is prone, then.
DM:
DC to beat is 10
DM:
Jekko's turn
Darth GW7:
wait
DM:
You're flanking
Darth GW7:
I dropped my shield
* Jekko rolls: d20 +2 => 3 + 2 = 5
Darth GW7:
AAAGES ago
Darth GW7:
weren't you listening?
Jekko:
why now
Lampshade:
wat
DM:
Is this your retcon Darth?
Darth GW7:
...no
DM:
Then, no, you didn't.
DM:
Grim makes a will save.
DM:
Jekko, make one too.
Nirrti:
how long does it take to get up
* Lampshade rolls: d20 => 13
* Jekko rolls: d20 +3 => 5 + 3 = 8
DM:
Oh, so so so close, Lamp.
* DM rolls: 2d10 => 8
* DM rolls: 2d10 => 13
Jekko:
au
Lampshade:
was it 14?
DM:
Yeah
DM:
Jekko takes 13 damage, Grim takes 8
Jekko:
we are going to die
DM:
It takes a move action to get up
DM:
Which provokes an AoO
Lampshade:
oh phew
Lampshade:
oh damn
Lampshade:
Who wants to take one for the team
Lampshade:
Nirrti?
DM:
But you can still attack while prone
DM:
Darth's turn
Nirrti:
doesn't it give minus though
Nirrti:
if attacking when prone
DM:
-4
Nirrti:
so yes, fuck that
Nirrti:
i'm getting up yo
DM:
Darth...?
Darth GW7:
er
Jekko:
kill
Darth GW7:
What's its attack mod again?
DM:
Is this a good point to bring up the fact that, uh, it doesn't have a melee attack?
Darth GW7:
I may risk standing up
Darth GW7:
so...
Darth GW7:
How can it have an AoO?
Canuhearmenow:
No AoO
DM:
It's basic attack is psionic. The 2d10 thing.
DM:
It doesn't.
DM:
:D
Darth GW7:
I stand up
Lampshade:
Ah
DM:
Balance check
* Z'ar Kor is the real slim shady
* Darth GW7 rolls: d20-3 => 12 - 3 = 9
Darth GW7:
...
DM:
You fall back down again
DM:
Canu
Darth GW7:
wait what
* Canuhearmenow rolls: 1d100 => 83
DM:
Well
Darth GW7:
Did that use up a turn?
DM:
Nah
DM:
You can attack
DM:
Good point
Darth GW7:
Yeah bitch
* Darth GW7 rolls: d20+4 => 13 + 4 = 17
DM:
-4, yes?
Darth GW7:
+8-4
DM:
right, right
DM:
roll for damage.
* Darth GW7 rolls: d8+5 => 3 + 5 = 8
DM:
Right
DM:
Nirrti
Nirrti:
get the fuck up
Nirrti:
what do i roll
Nirrti:
TO FUCK SHIT UP
Jekko:
balance
Lampshade:
Balance
Lampshade:
then attack
Canuhearmenow:
Try not to fall on your face again
* Nirrti rolls: d20+1 => 6 + 1 = 7
Nirrti:
yeah no
Lampshade:
Attack with -4
DM:
Roll to hit it
Nirrti:
i guess i'll just take a swing at the ankles there
Canuhearmenow:
It doens't have ankles
DM:
Hush
* Nirrti rolls: d20+10 => 14 + 10 = 24
DM:
Hack at the dregs of skin
DM:
That's a hit.
Lampshade:
Incoming MASSIVE DAMAGE
* Nirrti rolls: 3d6+15+1 => 8 + 15 + 1 = 24
DM:
You reach up, grab hold of one of the ropier strands of flesh. With one hand, you yank the beast down. With your axe in the other, you split it open, causing blood and ichor to spill out into the falling room.
Lampshade:
Is it ded?

OMG'ahr:
THE GLORIOUS BLOODSHED
DM:
Yeah

Ahwassa:
I think we should get out of here...
Lampshade:
Is combat over?

Halfred:
when this is over ahwassa get elias ill cheack the corpse then we nee to get out of here
DM:
The room, btw, has been hitting off of other pieces of the cathedral. It isn't going as fast as it would on a full, clear descent.
DM:
Combat's over.
Lampshade:
Right
* Jekko rolls: d20 +6 => 2 + 6 = 8
* Lampshade rolls: d20-6 => 16 - 6 = 10
Lampshade:
Balance check
Lampshade:
Do I pass?
Jekko:
serch
* Nirrti rolls: d20+1 => 14 + 1 = 15
Nirrti:
balance aswell

???:
You... bastards... It was all so perfect, so, so, so, so glorious. And now it's...
Nirrti:
still -1 mod due to fatigue
DM:
Lamp and Nirrti pass
Lampshade:
I cast
Canuhearmenow:
DEATH
* Lampshade rolls: 2d8+3 => 14 + 3 = 17
Nirrti:
FIST
Lampshade:
17 heal

Ahwassa:
Get up Elias, we need to move
Canuhearmenow:
5 HP away from full health!
DM:
Canu, balance check
* OMG'ahr sits down, tired and weary

Elias:
Bwah, what happened
Lampshade:
We killed the thing
* Canuhearmenow rolls: 1d20 + 2 => 20 + 2 = 22

Ahwassa:
We killed that... thing
Canuhearmenow:
I am completely unfazed by the falling room
Lampshade:
I cast Lesser Vigor on Z'ar
DM:
Canu attains flight.

OMG'ahr:
Yeah, sorry about that Z'ar, kinda missed that one swing. Badly.

Ahwassa:
This should ease the pain Z'ar
* Elias flutters away like a butterfly
* Z'ar Kor coughs

Z'ar Kor:
yeah... you could say that.
Lampshade:
You get 1 hp per 6 seconds up to 15
Darth GW7:
So, basically I have 17hp?

Ahwassa:
I'd like to say you deserved it...

Ahwassa:
But I forgive you over that mind control incident

Z'ar Kor:
Thanks.
* Z'ar Kor gets up slowly
Darth GW7:
Do I have to do a balance check?
DM:
Yeah
* Darth GW7 rolls: d20-3 => 15 - 3 = 12
Darth GW7:
phew
DM:
mhm
* Canuhearmenow rolls: 1d20 + 3 => 8 + 3 = 11
Lampshade:
So is this part of the cathedral going to crash or something?
DM:
Yeah
* Canuhearmenow rolls: 1d20 + 9 => 19 + 9 = 28
DM:
everything up to the fog back there
Canuhearmenow:
Arcana Check
DM:
On...?
Canuhearmenow:
Creature

Halfred:
there is nothing in here time to leave
Lampshade:
What fog?
Lampshade:
Ah, the in the hallway after the next hall?
DM:
mhm

Ahwassa:
Come on, we need to get out of here NOW
DM:
Hang on
DM:
Arcana check to sort out
Lampshade:
ok

OMG'ahr:
Not exactly in best shape right now...
* Jekko rolls: d20 +9 => 5 + 9 = 14

Ahwassa:
Do you want to end up among the rubble when this thing collapses?

Z'ar Kor:
You'd better get in the best shape for running, or you won't be in shape for anything.

Z'ar Kor:
Now come ON, let's MOVE!

OMG'ahr:
Do I look like I want to?

OMG'ahr:
But the rage, it drains me so

Z'ar Kor:
I will carry you myself so help me I will
Darth GW7:
How much do you weigh
Darth GW7:
just.,.. for reference
Nirrti:
too much for you
Canuhearmenow:
He's a lard ass
Darth GW7:
fat bastard
Jekko:
some one spot cheack for secret door
Nirrti:
330lbs

Ahwassa:
And equipment
Lampshade:
that was ooc
Lampshade:
So about 370 or something
Nirrti:
yeah, around
Nirrti:
actually more
Nirrti:
400 closer
Nirrti:
armor is 25lbs, both weapons 12lbs
Lampshade:
Oh right, you had two
Darth GW7:
okay
Darth GW7:
so
Lampshade:
We're running out
Darth GW7:
carrying not an option at least
Nirrti:
draw me like one of your french girls
Nirrti:
i mean
Nirrti:
drag me

Z'ar Kor:
What are we falling into, anyway?
DM:
Wasteland
Lampshade:
Just what kind of French girls do you know?
Nirrti:
ugly ones
Jekko:
100feet down

Ahwassa:
Does it really matter?
Lampshade:
So what's the black part?
DM:
Where it cut off
DM:
There is nothing beyond that, essentially.
Lampshade:
We need to jump?
Lampshade:
oh
* Elias begins removing the orbs as quickly as he can
Darth GW7:
Well guys
Darth GW7:
Sucks to be you
Darth GW7:
but this is where we part ways
Lampshade:
...
Nirrti:
my jump IS 9
* Darth GW7 FLYYYYYY

Ahwassa:
Coward!

Halfred:
there must be secret door out of here

Z'ar Kor:
Anyone know how to fly?

Halfred:
no
DM:
Jekko

Ahwassa:
Tha secret door better have seven featherfall potions in it
DM:
Wouldn't the area beyond the door ALSO be falling?

Ahwassa:
Otherwise it's going to be somewhat useless
* Elias begins unscrewing the three large Spelljammer cores
Nirrti:
bob dylans i see
Jekko:
yea

Ahwassa:
Elias, I hope to the gods that you know what you're doing

Z'ar Kor:
As far as I can see I can only see me and halfred getting out of here.

Z'ar Kor:
Am I missing something?
DM:
Yes

Halfred:
any ideas?
Lampshade:
So does fiddling with the cores do anything?
DM:
Hush for a second
* OMG'ahr sits down again
DM:
Arcana and religion checks.
* Elias begins frantically looking around the room
* Lampshade rolls: d20+7 => 12 + 7 = 19
* Canuhearmenow rolls: 1d20 + 11 => 8 + 11 = 19
DM:
right
Lampshade:
Happy?
DM:
Sure, sure.
DM:
Hang on
* Elias begins screwing in orbs rapidly
Darth GW7:
personally I want to just jump out with halfred
Darth GW7:
I can carry him
Nirrti:
do it and i'll jump on you
Lampshade:
Go ahead
Nirrti:
and WE'LL ALL DIE

Elias:
Guys
Lampshade:
We'll meet you at the bottom

Ahwassa:
Please tell me you got something
Nirrti:
it's not the fall that gets you
Nirrti:
it's the sudden stop at the bottom

Elias:
I'm gonna have to.... Do something
DM:
It's the half-orc coming after you
Nirrti:
that too
Lampshade:
Hey, can I go take a look at the armors in the hallway?

Elias:
Just... Tell my master Elias died in the line of duty, ok?

Halfred:
litless conversation litle more action please

Z'ar Kor:
Elias...
DM:
Sure, Lamp.

Ahwassa:
What?
* Elias looks at the throne
* Elias he begins to touch it
Lampshade:
Are they valuable in any way?
Jekko:
nope
* Z'ar Kor looks at the floor, sighing
Nirrti:
elias is getting consensual with some furniture

Z'ar Kor:
I... I really hope he can do this.

Z'ar Kor:
Because... I'm the one who will have to leave if he can't.

Z'ar Kor:
And I don't want to have to do that.
* Darth GW7 awkward silence
DM:
hang on a sec
* Nirrti crickets
Nirrti:
A BAT
* Elias shoves the wires of the throne into his arms

OMG'ahr:
You sure that's a good idea Elias?
Lampshade:
Seeing as I had a 19 for religion, do I know what's going on?
Darth GW7:
canu I don't think booting up the hyron project is a good idea

OMG'ahr:
I mean, you did see the thing that previously inhabited the throne, didn't you
* Elias falls unconscious as a large series of tubes plug into his head and back
Darth GW7:
Yup, he's booting the hyron project

Ahwassa:
That....

OMG'ahr:
Right, so, I guess we'll have to kill him now, too
DM:
The cathedral begins to slow.
* DM rolls: 20d6 => 69

Ahwassa:
He's just controlling the cathedral
DM:
Everyone take 69 non lethal damage.
Lampshade:
oh
Darth GW7:
er
Lampshade:
So fall uncoscious
Lampshade:
right?
Darth GW7:
oh my
DM:
yes
Darth GW7:
I should have jumped already
Jekko:
and that ends the game to be continued
DM:
And now, there is blackness.
Nirrti:
DARKVISIOOOOOOOOOOOOOOON
DM:
Not while you're unconscious.
* Z'ar Kor thinks "Well so much for that life insurance"

Elias:
I have control
Nirrti:
maybe i'm sleepwalking eh
Canuhearmenow:
Hue
Nirrti:
with my eyes open eh
Darth GW7:
maybe we're canadian eh
Nirrti:
maybe give me some money eh
* Z'ar Kor thinks "How long is this darkness going to last"
DM whispers: How long can you stay on for?
* Z'ar Kor thinks "Damn I could really go for a cheeseburger right now. Oh, wait, unconcious. Never mind."
You whisper to DM: Bit longer tonight I think
DM:
Right
* Lampshade dreams of sheep
* Z'ar Kor thinks lamp is welsh
Jekko:
so how much xp?
Darth GW7:
none
Lampshade:
True
Darth GW7:
we're dead
Lampshade:
That is very important
Canuhearmenow:
Well you guys are unconscious
Darth GW7:
"You guys"
Darth GW7:
wait..
Lampshade:
Elias is special
Canuhearmenow:
lol
Darth GW7:
is he coming back as a risen martyr
DM:
Don't you need to be divine for that?
Darth GW7:
I hope that canu knew that
* Nirrti rolls: d100 => 89
Darth GW7:
Wait what
Darth GW7:
Ooh me too me too
* Darth GW7 rolls: d100 => 71
Darth GW7:
aw
Nirrti:
no
DM:
no
Nirrti:
that was FOR QUEST
Nirrti:
secret stuff
Darth GW7:
I feel left out
Nirrti:
ssshh
Darth GW7:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0GIBIuLBCbo
Canuhearmenow:
Is that for whatever happens next?
Darth GW7:
I guess so
Nirrti:
yes
Nirrti:
it decided your fate
Darth GW7:
oh, the roll?
Nirrti:
yes
Darth GW7:
I thought you were talking about the music
* Nirrti rolls: d100 => 57
Canuhearmenow:
I was talking about the music
* Nirrti rolls: d20+1 => 15 + 1 = 16
Jekko:
ds
Lampshade:
Can we see the map?
Jekko:
nope
DM:
Not yet, I guess.

OMG'ahr:
So do those tubeholes heal up normally then?

Elias:
Err

Elias:
I guess a lick of magic couldn't hurt
Lampshade:
I cast cure minor wounds on you
Lampshade:
You heal one hp
DM:
WOW
Canuhearmenow:
Why are we still blindddd
DM:
Because shut up, gawd
Darth GW7:
Well
Darth GW7:
I need to go soon
DM:
let's end here then, I guess. I can get a decent map done for next week.
Darth GW7:
okay
Lampshade:
All right
Lampshade:
Works for me
Darth GW7:
hey
Jekko:
xp?
Darth GW7:
hey hjort
Lampshade:
XP!
Darth GW7:
you still have saturday
Darth GW7:
c:
DM:
Yeah, Darth
DM:
1000 xp
Canuhearmenow:
Didn't Hjort say something about us going to level 4 upon finishing the Cathedral?
Lampshade:
300 xp to level
Lampshade:
Yes he did
Darth GW7:
Did we finish the cathedral though???
Darth GW7:
That is the question
Lampshade:
Although, technically we aren't out yet
DM:
:D
Darth GW7:
don't jump to con-
Darth GW7:
oh shit he smiled
Darth GW7:
shit shit shit
Lampshade:
I guess we could do the same with the levels as last time
Darth GW7:
reach for the lazers
DM:
Yeah, sure.
Lampshade:
Since leveling up between sessions goes easier
DM:
You guys level up
Lampshade:
Yay
DM:
Ooh, yeah, level 4, right?
Nirrti:
well fuckinghell
Darth GW7:
ooh
Lampshade:
Yep
Darth GW7:
extra abilities
Nirrti:
now i got to look up the rolls and shit
Darth GW7:
scores
Nirrti:
whatnot
Nirrti:
*whatnow
DM:
I'll help Nirrti, if you need it.
Darth GW7:
anyway
Darth GW7:
I must leave
Nirrti:
none of my characters before have reached level 4
Nirrti:
the highest one was 3
DM:
Just, uh, ask if you need help
Nirrti:
and it died
DM:
Oh?
DM:
Oh.
DM:
:(
Nirrti:
barbarians
DM whispers: Bye
Lampshade:
Can I roll for my hp?
Darth GW7:
guys
Darth GW7:
I...
DM:
Not right now
Darth GW7:
I still haven't used my wings
Nirrti:
life expectancy in my hands not so great
Darth GW7:
;-;
Lampshade:
heh
DM:
Aaaw
Nirrti:
what was the barbarian HP roll again
Darth GW7:
are you guys trolling me
DM:
d12
Lampshade:
12
Darth GW7:
I could have used my wings
Nirrti:
plus what
Darth GW7:
but
DM:
+ con mod
Nirrti:
yeah, thought so
Darth GW7:
I would have left you behind
Darth GW7:
so I couldn't do it
DM:
We'll sort this out later, I guess.
Canuhearmenow:
Aww yea
Canuhearmenow:
Scorching Ray
DM:
We can use online rollers for the HP.
Darth GW7:
anyhow
Darth GW7:
toodle-oo