Poor Man's Skettiland

FoxHoarder, February 20, 2020; 15:19 / FB 55735
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Poor Man's Skettiland

You are not a wealthy man. You're just an average student, and as such can't afford many luxuries beyond rent and basic survival. Lucky for you fluffies are cheap to keep, and your green earthie friend Nestor is always there to cheer you up.

Nestor has been more than content playing with the old ball and blocks you got him from flea market, but lately he's been getting obsessed with Skettiland, the new theme park constantly advertised on Flufftv. Nestor understands money in the sense it's something preventing you from having as many things as other people, but he keeps begging for tickets to Skettiland, promising to save you money in increasingly impossible things.

"Daddeh? Wat if Nestow nu num kibbwe anymowe?"

"No Nestor, if you don't eat you'll get sickies, and that would cost much more than kibble."

"If nestow nevah go to wawkies, wiww dat save monies?"

"No Nestor, walkies are free. In fact, pooping outside saves us money in fluffylitter."

"Wat if nestow neva make poopies again? Save monies dat way?"

You sigh and pull out your wallet. He's going to end up killing himself if this keeps up.

"Look Nestor, this is how much money we have." you say, placing all the money in your wallet to the floor in front of him. You have more in the bank but Nestor doesn't need to know that.

"And this is how much money we'd need to go to Skettiland!" you say, using your hands to depict what would actually be quite a huge large pile of cash. "There's just no way we can save that much even if we never bought anything again."

Nestor's ears flop and he lowers his head in dejection. "Otay daddeh. Nestow undastand."

You feel bad for him, but unfortunately there's nothing you can do about it. You love him a lot, but if you had that kind of money you'd rather spend it on something like upgrading your computer instead.

Three days later, Nestor is still down about not getting to see his fabled Skettiland. However, today you finally found what you needed to fulfill his wish.

"Helloo, I'm home!" you yell as you enter your apartment.

"Hewwo daddeh." Nestor says, waddling to you and giving you a melancholic hug.

You lift him in your arms to look at him in the eyes. "Guess what? I figured how we can get to Skettiland!"

Nestor's eyes widen, his expression going from sad to disbelieving to overflowing with happiness. "Skettiwand! Nestow go to skettiwand! Wuw daddeh!" he yells with joy, wiggling his forelegs as he tries to hug you. You quickly close him in your embrace and you two share a warm hug.

"Now Nestor, here's daddy's plan: We still don't have money for the tickets, but we're gonna sneak in with you hidden in a suitcase!" you tell him, setting him down so you can talk face to face.

"Nestow wuv pwan!" Nestor says happily. "Nestow do anyfing!"

"Good. I got the suitcase right here-" you say, pulling up a beaten old suitcase from behind your back. "and now we just have to modify it so you can hide inside it!"

Nestor is overjoyed as you two set to work turning the suitcase into a stealthy fluffy carrier. You drill some airholes on the case so he can breathe, while Nestor helps by decorating the inside of the case with pretty pictures. You tape a little flashlight inside the box so he won't have to be afraid of the dark, and finally drill in a slightly larger peeking hole which you cover with a plug until the right moment. After an hour of having fun crafting together you two have made one stealthy fluffycarrier.

"Go to skettiwand nao?" Nestor asks excitedly.

"We sure can!" you say, opening the case as your excited fluffy climbs in without hesitation. "Now let's go!"

You walk out the door, carrying the happily giggling case with you. You walk around the block a few times, stopping once in a while to ask Nestor if he's doing fine. He always assures that he is, and by his voice you can tell he's as excited as the day you adopted him.

After three laps around the block, you lift the suitcase to your face to whisper with Nestor. "Okay Nestor, we're almost at the gate, you must be really, really quiet now, understand?"

The giggling and babbling from the suitcase die down as Nestor answers you. "Otay daddeh! Nestow be quiet!"

You walk the rest of the way to your house, and put on a low, authoritative voice. "I am the guardian of Skettiland. Do you have a ticket?"

"No sir, I'm just passing by." you say in your normal voice.

"You don't have any fluffies with you, do you? You know you'll have to pay a lot of money if you do!" you say sternly in your guardian-voice.

"No sir! I'm just an ordinary traveler, heading right past Skettiland with no fluffies whatsoever!"

"Hmm... Alright. Welcome to Skettiland! Don't let me catch you causing any trouble, you hear!"

You step through your door and speedwalk all the way to the other side of your apartment before whispering to your suitcase again. "We did it Nestor, we're in Skettiland now!"

Nestor had stayed almost entirely quiet through your dialogue, aside from one surprised gasp and a muttered "scary" as the guardian-character threatened you. You can hear him squeeing with barely contained joy as you slowly turn up the volume on the playlist of carnival music you prepared for this day.

"Nestow wuv you daddeh! Daddeh am da best!" he whispers through the suitcase.

"What should we do first?" you ask. "Ooh, there's the rollercoaster right there!" you say, turning the case towards a random direction.

"Wowwewcoastew! Nestow wan in wowwewcoastew!" he yells, momentarily forgetting that he's supposed to be hiding. You don't call him out for it though - this is his day and you're going to let him enjoy it to the fullest.

"Okay, we're getting in the car now." you say, walking to the other side of your living room and lifting the case into an imaginary car. "It's starting to move now... Whee!" you scream, flying the suitcase up and down in your hands.

"Wee!" Nestor yells in excitement. You keep moving and tilting the box around, making sure to slow down every time his yells are about to go from excited to terrified and probably keeping the pace much gentler than even the original fluffycoaster. You highly doubt your earthie fluffy would have enjoyed the real thing nearly as much as this.

After a few solid minutes you bring the case to a stop and pretend to lift it out of the car again. "Wow, that was fun, wasn't it?" you ask, panting from the exercise your arms just received.

"Yes daddeh! Nestow was soo excited!" he exclaims, panting from sheer excitement.

"Me too Nestor. That was a wild ride!" you agree. "Oh! There's Uni the Unicorn!" you say in mock surprise.

"Uni! Uni! Nestow wuv Uni!" Nestor yells, his suitcase shaking with excited little hoofsteps as he shuffles inside it.

"Let's go! Looks like there's still one more seat left for us!" you say as you sit down at your computer, putting the suitcase down right in front of the monitor. You start a video of one of Uni's live performances and carefully remove the plug from Nestor's peeking hole.

"Uni! Nestow am hewe! Nestow wuv yu!" he screams with excitement, his hooves tapping at the inside of the suitcase. The girls inside the big unicorn costume waddle out to the stage and ask the audience if they've been good fluffies, eliciting a chorus of confirmations from the video and your suitcase. Uni does her usual dance and song, finishing her show with another reminder to always listen to your mummahs and daddehs, bowing down as the curtains close to the whole audience singing along to her theme song.

You smiled throughout the whole episode, drinking water and relaxing from running the rollercoaster. FluffTV may not be riveting, but Nestor's happiness is contagious and you found yourself enjoying the silly show right along him. You make sure to plug up the peeping hole before the video ends, and pick up the suitcase to walk around the room again.

"Nestow saw Uni! Daddeh! Did you see Uni too?"

"Yes I did, Nestor. That was a very good show of her!" you confirm with a smile. "I don't know about you, but I'm feeling hungry. I wonder what there is to eat here..." you ponder aloud, giving Nestor time to put the pieces together.

"Sketties!" he yells. "Skettiwand haf aww da sketties in da wowd!"

"You're right!" you gasp. "The sketti mountain is right there, with all the sketti we can eat!"

"YAAY!" Nestor yells with excitement, his happy bumbling carrying to your hand through the suitcase's handle. You carry the case to the kitchen where your kettle of spaghetti has just finished cooling.

"Hello sir, what can I get you?" you ask in a fake girly voice.

"Hello miss! I would like a big plate of your best spaghetti!"

"Sure thing mister! Coming right up!"

You set the case down with the peeping hole facing towards a free Skettiland poster you got from Fluffymart. Nestor almost pushes himself through the peephole at the alluring scent of fresh spaghetti.

"Sketties! Giv sketties daddeh! Nestow want sketties!" he yells excitedly, his hooves scraping at the inside of the case.

"Sure thing Nestor, here you go!" you say, pushing the ends of some spaghetti through the hole. The spaghetti quickly starts getting drawn in, along with some very pleased smacking noises as your fluffy gorges himself with it. You take a plate of spaghetti for yourself too, eating it as you occasionally feed new strands through the hole.

You finish your plate before Nestor can fill his stomach, but eventually the spaghetti starts disappearing through the hole slower and slower.

"Uuh, Nestow so fuww!" he groans, unable to take another bite.

"Me too. That was some really good spaghetti!" you confirm, trying to sound like you too stuffed yourself full. "Okay then, what should we do next?"

"Uh... daddeh?" Nestor says awkwardly. "Nestow need make poopies."

"Okay, but we have to get outside Skettiland first. Try to hold it in!" you say as you grab the case and hurry for the door, careful not to shake it around too much.

"Huwwy daddeh! Poopies awmost hewe!" Nestor pleads, his voice strained with struggle. You speedwalk as far from your house as you think you have time for and let the occupant of the suitcase outside. Nestor's face is scrunched with effort as he quickly waddles under the nearest bush, groaning in relief as he finally gets to relieve himself after along day of hiding.

"Nestow make good poopies!" he declares, exhausted but relieved.

"Yes you did. Good work Nestor!" you congratulate him, petting his mane as he slowly gets back into the suitcase.

"Daddeh?"

"Yes?"

"Tanks fow take Nestow to Skettiwand. Dat was da bestest time evah!" he says, looking up at you with tears of joy in his eyes.

"I'm glad you enjoyed it." you say, giving him a few more pets. "Now let's get home."

The trip to Skettiland made wonders to Nestor's mood. He was right back to his happy self, and instead of watching the Skettiland commercials with dejected sorrow now excitedly pointed it's landmarks to you with happy stories of your time there. The suitcase-fluffycarrier became his favorite mode of transportation as he loved to pretend you were going to skettiland whenever you traveled. And best of all, you now could pass off any old spaghetti as genuine souvenirs straight from the sketti mountain. All in all, it was a trip well worth it!