Kid Anon and Fluttermom part 13

>As you and Fluttershy leave the castle, you begin to think about the lesson you had learned. You thought it to most likely be true that you are too sensitive on the subject of you being a "new species". It would be natural, you thought, simply because every new thing you saw was just a "new thing". You thought about how you internally reacted to Sweetie Belle, she'd probably find it insulting if you treated her like a pet.....You still wanted to nuzzle up against her though.......nopony else could know this.
>You look towards Fluttershy and asked where they were headed next. She smiled and said Applejack's stand.........oh right.....the actual scary violent pony.
>You try to subtly suggest going to the Sugarcube corner again instead. But Fluttershy tells you that she wanted to meet up with Applejack, and Sugarcube Corner could wait another day. Fluttershy was serious about this, she didn't want you developing any unhealthy eating habits.
>Darn...You then suggested the Carousel Boutique. In which she just stated you needed to be patient about the clothes Rarity was making for you.
>Double Darn.....You took a moment to compose yourself. Aslong as she didn't recognize you. Or aslong as Fluttershy didn't spill the beans. Things should go ok.
>As you both walk past shops and stands, You can see a stand over yonder under a tree filled with various apple products, from fresh steamy pies to drinks to the basic apple....it had everything.....apple related. Including the cowgirl pony behind the stall.
>"Howdy ya'll" came from the murder pony as you both approached her stall. She seemed much more calm than she was earlier.
>Fluttershy greeted her, however you slowed your approach and hid behind Fluttershy. ducking and hiding under her tail.
>Applejack looked over, She was curious as to why you were hiding behind her. "He shy or somethin'? heh, Ah don't bite"
>Yet....You whisper to Fluttershy that you're afraid of her, afraid of what she would do if she found out the truth of what happened at the barn.
>Fluttershy asked Applejack to give you and her a moment as she turns and leads you a few steps back.
>Fluttershy tells you that you might be blowing things out of proportion, that Applejack was very nice, and you had nothing to worry about because you really didn't do anything wrong. She gave you a big grin....but you weren't too sure.
>You still raise a concern about how she was earlier. Fluttershy does her best to explain to you that Applejack was angry at Discord. She tried to urge you to not be so worried over it.
>You took a moment to think. You had jumped the gun so many times that it was starting to become repetitious. She was probably right, definitely right. Just because something seems bad doesn't make it bad.
>"Alright Mom" you nodded "Check this out, I'm gonna make you proud"
>You took a step forward as you walk towards Applejack, Fluttershy just looked on as you stepped forward in confidence, put your hands on her stall, and stared into her eyes.
>There was an awkward pause
>"You alright little fella?"
>...........you just stared with a confident smile, but inside you just realised that you were still scared to tell her.....this wasn't the best of moves.
>Applejack asked again if you were ok, then looked towards Fluttershy, asking if she knew what was wrong with you. Fluttershy just shrugged, Applejack looked back at you "Ya know, if ya can't decide what ya want. ah can let ya sample a few things, on the house"
>you start to sweat, your smile breaking. You were starting to freak Applejack out.
>Fluttershy noticed Applejack looking at you as if you were going to do something distasteful.
>She hurried up to you and stood by your side as she looked to Applejack "I think Anon wants to tell you something Applejack, ummmm...that I'm sure you won't be angry about...."
>Applejack narrowed her eyes "Whaddya mean by that?"
>You started to feel a heavy amount of anxiety, dammit. This wasn't supposed to happen, you were sure you could have done this on your own. Fluttershy started to hint about you and Discord, giving bigger hints you did nothing wrong. Applejack didn't quite get it, and you were at wits end.
>"IWASWITHDISCORDONTHEBARNANDIWASTHEREWHENHETHREWTHEBUCKETONYOURHEADBUTIDIDN'TKNOWHEWASREALLYGOINGTODOITANDI'MSORRYFORNOTSAYINGANYTHINGPLEASEDON'TBUCKMEANEWONE!"
>Fluttershy was astonished at your sudden outburst, as was Applejack. She told you to calm down, she didn't understand anything you had said.
>You were gasping for abit of air, Fluttershy tried to get you to calm down. But you told her you could handle it. Applejack just stared and looked around. You were acting as if it was the end of the world in her eyes. She's never seen anypony act so scared of her before. "Ya sure he's ok Fluttershy? ah think he needs ah doctor"
>You could do this, you had to. You had to get over these stupid fears and pet peeves. It wasn't that bad. You convinced yourse'f as hard as you could it wasn't.
>Fluttershy just thought of excusing herself and taking you back home. She started to feel guilty that this reaction may have been her fault.
>You slowly look towards Applejack again, and slowly force your words out. And ask her to please not kill you.
>To your surprise, she started laughing.
>She almost fell over laughing. Why was she laughing? Your nerves were shot and she was just giggling.
>"Is he serious Fluttershy? I ain't upset and I ain't goin to kill you. Ah was just mad at the time is all. Discord got me angrier than a bull in ah red room. Ah long since calmed down since that little spur of trouble, plus ya said you didn't do anything wrong, that is the truth ain't it?"
>You quickly nod. Boy, do you nod. You felt like a boulder lifted off your shoulders.
>Applejack smiled at you and handed you an apple, on the house. She told you she admired your honesty, and to try not to stress over telling the truth. She told you that she was the one who felt like she was going to be attacked. Not like she couldn't have stomped you into next week.
>You hold your forehead and laugh, you felt silly after you took the apple. If you had just stayed your confidence, You wouldn't have made yourself look like a wierdo. You start eating the apple, it...tasted pretty good. The sweet taste of good conclusions.
>Fluttershy however started to stare at you silently. She looked kind of stern, you had a hard time telling.
>Awkward silence. What did you do wrong this time?
>"Anon, did you thank Applejack for the apple?"
>NOOOOOOOO, again you had failed at basic etiquette. You scrambled immediatly and bowed before Applejack. "Thank you for the Apple, Miss Applejack Ma'am"
>For Fluttershy, she was just glad this all ended well. But she wasn't going to let you leave without thanking Applejack atleast.
>"Sure thing Pardner, but ya don't haveta be so proper 'round me, Ah ain't a princess or nothin."
>You smiled, but you were wondering if Rarity was going to end up being the only pony you actually call "Miss".
>You say your goodbyes as you follow Fluttershy back home. You munch on the apple with almost reckless abandon. You started to reflect on how paranoid you acted all day. You must of looked like an idiot. You turn towards Fluttershy. "Mom...did....I embarass you today?"
>Fluttershy was thinking on Twilight's words, she was starting to blame herself on your actions, she never made full assertions for you to handle your anxiety, she had always hoped her love and care would do the trick.
>"Mom?" You shook her side abit.
>Fluttershy snapped back to reality as she looked at you, it seems she hadn't heard you, so you ask your question again.
>"What? oh nononono, you didn't embarass me......not one little bit" this was truth, she felt no embarassment for anything you did, but she felt responsible for it. But she didn't want to tell you that.
>You apologised to her for being stupid, she quickly snapped that you weren't stupid. That you just didn't understand at the time. Her voice sounded strained. You tried giving her a hug, and although she hugged you back, it wasn't the usual warming hug she'd normally give you.
>"Mom....are you mad at me?"
>Fluttershy fought back a tear, that question was painful. She didn't turn towards you. She felt like she was suddenly a bad mother. Everyother pony was teaching you lessons to better yourself while she just putting band-aids on every emotional booboo. "N-no....I'm not mad at you Anon." Her voice sounded heavy and sad.
>You could sense something was wrong, but you didn't know what. She wasn't being her usual self, it made you feel ill.
>as you both approach the front gate door,You again hug onto her, as tightly as possible and let out a cheerful giggle "I love you Mom! No matter what!". You had hoped this would work. It always made her smile before.
>Fluttershy stopped as tears fell down her face. She quickly nuzzled into you as warmly as she could, hoping to hide her tears. But you could feel them. "I love you too Anon, with all my heart"
>You started to feel nervous, you asked her why she was crying. She couldn't answer, she was filled with doubt.
>For the rest of the day, she was like this. She wasn't cheerful, and the animals themselves were getting worried. Angel himself was trying to do silly things to get her to smile. You even joined in, but no such luck.
>Fluttershy had never been so sad before, atleast. You'd never seen her so sad.
>She was in despair, she was wondering if she was even a good parent in the slightest. She could take care of animals fine. But She couldn't raise a child. Wether it be a pony or human. Her love and kindness didn't equate to a mother if she couldn't help her child grow.
>Fluttershy hadn't made any dinner for herself that night. You hadn't noticed if she had or not, as she had quickly excused herself to bed shortly after making dinner.
>You knew something was wrong, you started to think that maybe it was your fault. Or maybe it was something worse. But you didn't know what.
>Fluttershy rested on her bed. She kept trying to convince herself of all the good she had done. She feeds you, takes care of you, makes sure you're always healthy, Protects you...These are things mothers do....but...these are things she's always done. And perhaps some of it was wrong.
>She couldn't fall asleep. She started to have thoughts of you being alone and making a mistake. Of ponies seeing you as a monster because you couldn't control your emotions. She silently cried. She couldn't even help you confess without you having a relapse. And she thought leaving would have been better than trying to let you confess properly. She...just didn't want you to get hurt...
>Suddenly, she notices a light coming from her door. She quickly closes her eyes and pretends to sleep.
>She can hear footsteps, she can tell it was you. She didn't want to face you right now. She wanted to be alone in her thoughts.
>You gently rest next to her and spoon her, as Angel hops from your hands and rests above her pillow, nuzzling onyop of her head. Fluttershy clenches her eyes tight, she doesn't want you to see she's awake.
>You hug onto Fluttershy "Mom...I don't know if you could hear me....but we're all worried about you. I'm sorry....if I embarrassed you. I...know you say your always proud of me....but I always mess up....Mom....I promise to do better next time. I want to be the best son ever...I want you to always be proud. I promise I'll get better....Just please...don't be sad anymore. If...if your sad because I told Twilight I didn't want to be here...I..I was just angry...I always want to be here, I always want to be here with you Mom."
>You nuzzle into her tenderly "I will love you forever Mommy.....so please don't cry"
>You continue nuzzling sleepily into her. You didn't want to wait to tell her how you felt. And you hoped your words travelled through to her dreams. You hug on tight to let her know your there as you fall asleep.
>Fluttershy stays silent, tears flowing through her eyes. She starts to whimper "An..Anon?"
>You have already fallen asleep.
>Fluttershy nuzzles into you, She felt Angel above her. Who had also fallen asleep, turned to a position of hugging onto her head during your heartfelt speech.
>Fluttershy cried silently. If she truly was a bad mother, then she would have a bad son. You weren't a bad son. But she still knew that just like you. She had to improve. She slowly turned to look at your sleeping form.
>"I love you too, my little Anon....with all my heart, And i'll always be here....whenever you need me"