Unsuperpowers

being able to go back in time, but only 5 seconds

Can read anyone's mind.
But forget what you heard, though still get the emotions.

Lactokanesis

The ability to pass through walls sometimes. Going faster raises the chance but the highest chance you can have is 25%

the power to turn black whenever police (or bad guys) are within 800 ft
also a .38, and a  slice of watermelon will materialize in your air jordans inside your nike backpack

The ability to freeze time for 10 seconds, but you get frozen also

Ability to absorb information, i.e. touching a textbook and instantly knowing everything it has to offer.
All the information is translated into wingdings

taste everything you hear OR hear everything you taste

The ability to see 15 seconds into the past

Super Smoothing Hands

The ability to sit in a chair and instantly bolt across the room to sit in another chair seamlessly.

you have the strongest punch in the world
granted you're punching yourself

You can see through clothes, but it only works when your eyes are closed.

Ability to change your appearence completely, but only by getting beat up.

The ability to perfectly time when you will wake up after falling asleep.

The ability to turn a fork into a spoon and vise versa for 5 seconds

Being able to shit through your clothes, but not wipe through them.

Being able to turn invisible but only when no one is watching you.

The ability to eat rocks

Your tounge is coated in acid and can burn other people.

Smell into the future

the ability to talk to domesticated cats

the ability to talk to domesticated dogs

The ability to completely cover your surroundings in shit at any time or shoot shit missles from your anus, but only with a key word. the word changes every day and you'll never know what it is till it happens.

I can touch a piece of paper, and it explodes into confetti

The power to drink solid objects, but they have to be in a glass.

being able to fly but only for an inch or so high

The ability to fart at will and in any color and/or smell you desire

extend the lenght of any portion of your body, by shortening all the others.

ability to sweat from your hair

Bottomless stomach
Can't eat any food

The ability to fall really really really really fast

The ability to sneeze at will

The ability to fail at will.

super strength while asleep

Every person of the gender you are attracted to will fall madly in love with you while they're in your presence, and will act accordingly...but only while you have your back to them.

You always have a paper clip in your pocket, except when one could come in handy.

to be able to freestyle rap in a pitch only dogs can hear

super vibrating dick

Bullet Attraction

Super strength for only 1 second, twice a day, with a minute cooldown