label main_menu:
    return

label start:
    #$ _game_menu_screen = None
# ================================================================================
# Somewhere in some random studio where a game
# show is about to go ON-AIR in about 3 hours
# ================================================================================

    p "SAY WHAT!?..."

    p "What? What's going on?"

    c "Sir, the one we hired as assistant to the host won't make it to today's show." #changed this line

    p"Wha!... Why!?... What happened?" #changed

    c "She suffered a heart attack and is currently being rushed to the hospital as we speak."

    c "Sir, we only have about 4 hours before the show starts."

    p "Damn... and on our pilot episode too..." #??? Don't quite understand this sentence.

    c "Sir, what are we gonna do?! Please give us some advice." #changed

    p "Hmm... this is troublesome... what to do...?" #changed

    p "Ramirez...!" #changed

    c "What is it, sir?" #changed

    p "Tell everyone to proceed on schedule. I'll see what I can do..."

    p "You two, come with me..."

    c "Where are we heading, sir?" #changed

    p "...Next door neighbor's." #changed


# ================================================================================
# In a studion on the oposite side of the street
# ================================================================================

    p "Oho! This is perfect... so many pretty girls... too bad they're auditioning for a crappy show..." #changed

    p "Let's see now..."

    p "This one's too fat... no good..."

    p "That one's too old... still no good..."

    p "This one's young and tender... BUENO- err... I mean no good..." #changed

    p "Too young might get me in trouble..."

    p "Ah!" #changed

    p "What we have here...?"

    p "Now this is just right..."

    p "You two... GRAB HER!!!"

    c "YES SIR!!!"

    g "WHAT THE FUCK!?..." #changed

    c "Girl secured Sir!"

    p "Good! Put her inside van and bring her to the Studio ASAP!" #changed

    p "Handle her with care, OK..." #changed

    p "Oh boy!... This should solve problem..."

# ================================================================================
# Back to thes random studio where a game
# show is about to go ON-AIR in about 3 hours
# ================================================================================

    g "FUCK YOU! LET ME GO!"

    p "Now... now... calm down... we no bad guys..."

    p "OK, release her..."

    p "Hello Pretty Girl... welcome to random studios."

    g "Uh, what's going on?"

    g "And why did you bring me here?"

    g "If you guys are after some ransom money then I'm sorry to dissapoint you."

    g "I'm just a poor immigrant from a poor family."

    g "You won't get a single peso from me."

    g "...wait"

    g "You're not going to... sexually abuse me are you?..."

    p "Hmm... why didn't I think of that..."

    p "FUCK! LET'S DO IT!!!"

    p "NO! NO! NO!... We not here to FUCK!..."

    p "Relax OK... I not after your money nor we want to fuck you or anything like that..."

    p "Instead... I am here to give you money..."

    p "Rather... I am here to give you Job Offer..."

    p "I want you... to appear in our show as an assistant to the host."

    g "Really?"

    p "Yes... Pay is not that good but at least you get to be on TV..."

    p "I saw you auditioning for that crap show next door."

    p "I suggest you take my offer... this might be your lucky break..."

    p "Not many people get this chance you know..."

    g "W...what can I say."

    g "This is... too sudden..."

    p "I take that as a yes."

    p "Hmm... you are pretty but you look like country bumpkin from Kansas."

    p "Or someone that illegally crossed the border from Mexico working for the cartel."

    p "Whatever... we will fix that."

    p "MAKEUP! WARDROBE! STYLIST!"

    p "I summon thee!"

    m "Makeup Artist Reporting for duty Sir!"

    w"So this is the girl that needs to be dressed up eh?"

    s "U-HU-HU-HU-HU-HU-HU, bad hair bad! Must fix."

    p "You know what to do."

# ================================================================================
# Dressing Room
# ================================================================================

    g "H...HEY! WATCH WHERE YOU'RE TOUCHING!"

    m "Stay still Mam, I can't properly apply the makeup if you were trashing around like this."

    g "BUT THE WAY YOU TOUCH ME IS GIVING ME GOOSEBUMPS!"

    m "Resistance is futile Mam."

    m "I shall have my way with you one way or another."

    g "DON'T SAY IT IN A WAY THAT WILL BE MISUNDERSTOOD BY EVERYONE!"

    m "What are you implying?"

    g "Eh!...Err... nothing..."

    g "Excuse me.... WHAT THE FUCK YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING!?"

    g "STOP! DON'T TAKE OFF MY CLOTHES! DAMMIT!"

    g "AND GIVE ME BACK MY BRA!!!"

    w "With a flat chest like that?"

    w "You won't be needing this."

    g "FUCK YOU!"

    g "AWW!!! CAREFUL WITH THE HAIR YOU..."

    s "U-HU-HU-HU-HU-HU-HU, bad hair is bad... it is not good... must fix..."

    g "BUT THE WAY YOU'RE PULLING IT IS JUST... OWCH!"

    s "U-HU-HU-HU-HU-HU-HU, do not worry, I are professional..."

    g "....fuck everything"

    g "Do what you want people, I give up."

    p "I hope she turns out OK after this traumatizing incident."

    p "Please be strong... this is one of the many things you need to endure in Showbiz."

# ================================================================================
# 1 hour later
# ================================================================================

    p "OK I know this is sudden and unrehersed but we really can't help it due to the urgency of the need."

    p "But I am confident you can do this... You already skimmed the basics earlier."

    p "I mean... It's so easy, a monkey could do it... to bad Monkey is not pretty enough to qualify."

    p "For now, we just update you from the earpiece in case we needed you to do additional work OK."

    l "Here's the earpiece."

    g "Thanks."

    p "Now just Relax, Smile and look into the audience most of the time OK."

    p "If you are feeling jittery, just imagine the audience not being there... whatever..."

    p "You'll get used to it."

    p "Oh and one more thing..."

    p "What's your name?"

    g "My name?..."

    g "Lucilla Domingo..."

    p "Ugh!... Screw that!... Reminds me of Taco Bell!"

    p "You obviously need a good screen name."

    p "Any suggestions?"

    l "...Lucy"

    p "Excuse me?... Could you repeat what you just said?"

    l "Lucy."

    p "Lucy, sounds great! Short, easy to remember and catchy."

    p "OK LUCY!... You know what to do!... "

    p "This is your first appearance and your first lucky break, don't screw this up OK!"

    g "...OK"

    p "Director!... Please take over."

    d "Everyone in positions. Lights, Camera, Sounds, Crowd Control... all set?"

    d "The show will start in 3... 2... 1..."

    return