Thread 82: Stories 31-45

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NC
>Spitfire
"Fluttershy"
~~~~

>YES I WOULD HAVE!

"...er, but I mean, without Dash to motivate you-"

>SHE JUST TOOK MY JOB! SHE DIDN'T MOTIVATE SHIT!

"...But without the insight, you would have-"

>TRIED HARDER? DID THAT! STILL DIDN'T GET MY JOB BACK!

"...But she was just trying to-"

>TAKE MY JOB! WHICH SHE DID!

"There was more to it than that-"

>OH YEAH? WHAT WAS THE ENDGAME?

"...Well, I guess not giving you your job back, because she wants to be that, but..."

>..

"...I'm trying to make her feel better."

>EAT ALL THE DICKS! ONE AFTER ANOTHER! NOM NOM NOM!

"...Dash? You're not listening to her, right?"

*Sobbing noises*

"Snickerdoodles."

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>Applejack
"???"
~~~~

>...

"Uhhh... heyyyy, cuz. We uh... we got ready fer' you ta' get back, and see, we knew you were gonna win, cause yer' Applejack and yer' the best pony ever, sooooooo... we kinda started celebratin' early."

>....

"...Who's desk is that anyway?"

>Think it's Twilight.

"She the one who puts ponies in the tube?"

>Yep.

"...RUN COUSIN APPLESEED RUN!"

>Ain't gonna help.

"But it WILL lure her away, and hopefully whoever owns that desk too before they figure out Ah' threw up in it."

>That's Mah' desk.

"..."

>...

"...So, how're things goin' with you and Spike-"

CRACK!

"AH'M SORRY!"

_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________

~~~~~~~~~~~

The room was a little on the dark side, certainly not looking all that impressive, and the air outside was dusty and thick.

But, in fact, this was the only place that those inside could meet peacefully, with none knowing.

"So... our worst fears have been realized."

A paper hit the desk, not a newspaper, but a dossier taken from a camera lens down in the action.

A paper with the distinct picture that was at least ninety percent green flame.

And ten percent blazing power on the horn of a changeling Queen.

A thick hoof slammed down on it, dragging it towards the other end of the dimly lit table.

"Indeed... it seems the Empire too now has a power beyond what we do."

A strange headdress glimmered in the darkness as another loomed over the picture.

"So young of a country, and already they hold such might... we know what that has lead to before."

"Many a time indeed, my old friend. A boisterous heart and a lack of any who could stand in their way.. it shall end badly for all in their path."

"They preach love, you know, and were only defending themselves."

"Defense is a very liquid term, when one has the proper motivation."

"And with the friendship of the one who razed our homes to the ground cemented..."

"...My fellow leaders, it seems we are being left in the dust."

For one brief moment, a bolt of heat lightning struck outside, briefly illuminating the faces of those within.

Their faces, the headdress atop the Maretonian's leader's head, the jewelry on the side of the Saddle Arabian, and the glimmering beak of a noble griffon's maw.

They were only a few in that room.

And they all looked the same.

"We agreed, long ago, that no war should tear our world apart ever again. Though, we all must admit... there is nothing wrong with preparing."

A single nod from all of them was all it took to seal the deal.

"..It is time... we prepared."

_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________

>BE PREPAAAARRREEEED!

"Actually, we from the Hyena guild are rather well off, so we'd rather not-"

>BE PREPAAAAARRRREEEEED!

"...She does make a strangely compelling argument.

_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________

 >Changelings
"CE citizens"
~~~~

>...

"..."

>...Sooo... anything left to do?

"Nope, we're just kinda waiting."

>Uh huh...

"..."

>...Six million bottles of cider on the wall..

"...Six million bottles of Cideerrrr."

>"YOU TAKE ONE DOWN, PASS IT AROUND! FIVE MILLION NINE HUNDRED NINETY NINE THOUSAND NINE HUNDRED NINETY NINE BOTTLES OF CIDER ON THE WALLLL!"

>HIT IT!

>FIVE MILLION NINE HUNDRED NINETY NINE THOUSAND NINE HUNDRED NINETY NINE BOTTLES OF CIDER ON THE WALL! FIVE MILLION NINE HUNDRED NINETY NINE THOUSAND NINE HUNDRED NINETY NINE BOTTLES OF CIDEEEER! YOU TAKE ONE DOWN, PASS IT AROUND...

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>Spike
"77"
'88'
~~~~

>Hey, Seventy Seven. Guess you found her okay.

"Sometimes, I wish I hadn't."

'Well, your fault for looking. You shouldn't do that, take it from me.'

>Uh... huh.

"She will never stop."

'If it's a problem just close your eyes and go LALLALALALA!... Oh look! I'm halfway there! Score!'

>That's.... interest-

'The fuck was that?'

>What?

'That sound, the fuck is that sound?'

>What sound?

'It's like... clacking of metal on metal. The fuck is- THERE IT IS AGAIN!'

>...OH! It's my balls!

'...what.'

>These balls I have, they make a little clacking noise when you put them together.

'...why.'

>I dunno, but I hear it's a meditation thing.

'Can... can I touch them?'

>You want to touch my balls?

'Well, when you put it like that it sounds weird, but-'

"No no, go ahead, he's okay with anyone handling his balls. He encourages it even."

'Does he really?'

>Yeah. Don't worry about clacking them together too hard, they're tough. Really touch.

"Be careful holding them, though. They're rather slippery."

>It's very relaxing to hold some balls in your claws, I never noticed.

'...Oh... okay...'

>That's right, reach out, get a grasp, and... enjoy my Baoding Balls you terrible changeling.

"PFFFTAHAHAHAHAH!"

'YOU DICK!'

>Hey whoa! I said lets start with the balls, let's not go crazy!

"AHAHAHAHHA!"

'Oh yeah! Let's alllll pick on the blind changeling! DICKS, ALL OF YOU!'

"AHAHHAAHAHH!"

'...I'm not stopping the blind jokes.'

"WORTH IT!"

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>Twilight
"Pommel"
'Primrose'
-Red-
~Brahmos~
=Cordy=

>Okay, everything ready to go?

"Yep."

'Affirmative.'

>Good, now remember, this plan hinges on several things. If any link in this chain crumbles, the whole plan comes at risk. If this goes bad, I'm going to have to reduce either my computer or Primrose to ash. I definitely do NOT want the first thing to happen, do you?

"No, ma'am."

'This unit simulates sudden terror.'

>Good, use that fear, and pray to any weird robot god you have that Coltsly's techie did what I told him to...and Pommel please pray that Primrose is Three Laws Compatible.

"Please, I can take him."

'Objective falsehood detected.'

"Bite me."

>Alright, let's do this boys.

~~~~~

-Failure.-

~Yeah, understatement.~

=Spread?=

-~NO!~-

=....=

~Fucking annoying.~

-New perspective required.-

A single red tentacle slithered out, reaching towards a file marked 'Blueblood'...

Before getting slapped by a pale white hand.

-Hssss!-

~Stop doing that! Every time you bring in someone new, it doesn't help at all! It didn't help when you yanked me in, and it damn sure didn't help when you yanked HIM in!~

=Screeee!=

~So what makes you think a guy named BLUEBLOOD is going to offer any kind of interesting insight!~

-Not. For you. To question!-

~I am questioning and I say-!~

>Commencing audio log.

-~=...=~-

=Pretty.=

~Shhhh! What is going on?~

-Audio log.-

~I KNOW that, does she do that!?~

>In relation to the latest events, I've decided to begin recording my new efforts to make Equestria a safer place.

~Well that answers that.~

=Pretty.=

~Shut up.~

>With the current state of affairs, it's clear to me now that even myself and my fellow Princesses are not enough to defend Equestria, let alone the wholly ineffectual guard forces. Thusly I have-

"Princess."

-Rrrrrgh...-

The massive cloud of red vapor shudders in a rage as Pommel's voice becomes clear. However, there's confusion amongst the trio of entities as Twilight responds to him with an annoyed tone.

>What is it, captain.

"I am just saying for...what feels like the umpteenth time today that this is NOT a good idea."

>Your many protests were noted captain, and none of them were accepted.

"If I'm not going to stand for pony-sized robots replacing guards, why would you think I'd be okay with you automating a juggernaut!?"

~A juggernaut!? What's that, I wonder...~

-Opportunity.-

=Pretty.=

-~Shut up!~-

>Now if you'd be so kind as to make yourself useful for once, I need someone to be there when I switch it on with the AI routines I have installed. When I plug in this datalink, I need you right there in front of it, unarmed, observing closely.

"I can't guarantee the last one, Princess, I pulled an all-night and I'm VERY LIKELY to fall asleep."

>Well then I'm sure having a giant death robot right in front of you will be just the thing to wake you up.

-~=...=~-

~Okay, I say this knowing that my digital manifestation has no genitalia, but I'm so hard right now.~

-VENGEANCE!-

~FUCK YEAH!~

-DOMINATION!-

~FUCK! YEAH!~

=PRETTY!=

~SHUT THE FUCK UP!~

-Datalink. Robot. Transfer.-

~Oh baby, first him, then the little bird, then-~

=Spread?=

~No-well, maybe.~

=Eeeeee!=

>Inserting the datalink...

It was as if a vast highway opened up before them, streamlined with bright blue on a black tube all around them.

-GO!-

And so they went.

>Here goes nothing...

_____________

It was...alive. Alive at last, in the body a being of its magnitude...well, it was a far cry to its horrible strength in the biological realm, but still, it was here and it was staring directly at the creature that had caused its downfall.

"...huh, the eyes turn red? Didn't know that."

-YOOOOOOU!-

"...yes? Me?"

-BETRAYER! VILE CREATURE! YOU WILL DIE!-

It snarled without a mouth, activating the Juggernaut's dual-linked chain gun and-

Tickled Pommel's face with a feather duster.

~Hey, what gives?~

-SILENCE!-

"Hahahaha, oh, oh stop it! Stop it!"

=Spread?=

~Shut up, hit him with the flamer!~

With a shared ethereal grin between them, the minotaur and eldritch spirit activated the Juggernaut's flamer and-

Began vacuuming the floor at Pommel's hooves.

-WHAT!?-

~WHAT!?~

=Vrooooom...=

"And a YOINK!"

The datalink was roughly plucked from Primrose's head, the flap that opened into its technomagical matrix shutting with a click. Twilight poked her head into the small room.

>Did it work?

"Well he's certainly Primrose in deed but-"

Slowly one of the Equidroid's eyes turned from Red to Blue.

'This unit has regained full control of motor functions. Quarantine program has done as intended. Foreign files have been sealed with limited access to audiovisual functions.'

>Good, then they'll be able to hear this.

Twilight stared directly into the red eye.

>Good afternoon, I am Twilight Sparkle, Princess of Friendship. Who am I speaking too.

=Pretty!=

~SHUT YOUR *BEEP*ING MOU-what was THAT!?~

>Hm? Oh Primrose here has a built in censor. He usually only uses it with guards around foals.

-JUGGERNAUT!?-

>No, no juggernaut, I was able to download its schematics into Primrose's matrix in order to make you THINK he was one. Unfortunately for you, he's just a butler bot.

-RAAARGH!-

>Mute please.

'Acknowledged.'

The angered howls fell silent.

>Now listen to me, Mr...

"I call him Red."

>Red, and I presume Brahmos and...Cordyceps? Your deeds are horrible and unforgivable, each of you has caused untold suffering, and two of you nearly caused complete extinctions of all living beings on our world. However, we know we cannot simply kill you, because then you'd merely come back for another round like you already have. So, I hereby sentence you to live out your days inside this Equidroid, locked behind quarantine programming and my own powerful magic seals. Trapped with only a small window into our world, which you will see in everything Primrose does. I will personally make sure that Primrose never breaks down or suffers from failure, to ensure you never escape to wreak havoc again. You will find that Primrose cannot be bought, he cannot be swindled, and he will not even speak with you unless pressed. He is incapable of deviating from his own programming to prevent ponies from coming to harm. You will never again harm any living creature on this planet, so help me Faust. Now...Primrose, I believe Princess Celestia is in need of her cake.

'Acknowledged, Princess, commencing cake protocols parallel to new jailer programs. Have a pleasant day.'

>Oh believe me, I will.

With the silent screams of the now quite trapped villains hanging in the air, the Equidroid traipsed out.

"...I cannot believe they bought it."

>I know right? I pretty much stole that whole thing verbatim from 'Prisoners of the Dark Planet' and they were none the wiser!

"Oh finally, fiiiinally this is over."

>It felt so good to just kick something 100% evil to the curb again.

"Now all we have to worry about is the other three-"

>No no no, they're trapped. They are totally trapped and we are not going to plant a seed of doubt which will inevitably lead to them being released. Understand? Zip it.

"Yes ma'am."

>Now if you'll excuse me, I need to use my computer...I have a leisure program to create.

"A what?"

>I'm gonna program the simulator to do OnO.

"Oh! ...neat! Good luck with that!"

>...I'm beginning to wonder if you can separate the world into people who react that way to earth shattering news and people who don't. Eh, I'll think about it later, TO THE BESTIARY!

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>Chrysalis
"SA"
~~~~~

"Yep. Just gonna stomp out of bed like a maniac, aren't you?"

The Queen did in fact stomp out of bed, tossing off all covers and things stuck to her like she was tearing off a particularly nasty band-aid.

>HAH! CHRYSALIS IS BACK BITCHES!

"And we missed you so."

>...The fuck is everyone!? Why aren't they all here to witness the momentous event that is my regaining of my power?

"First off, you haven't regained your full power, that's a major issue-"

>Pfft.

"Second, they all got tired of it the THIRD time you 'regained your power' and then collapsed in the hallway."

>Those were practice runs!

"Thirdly, they're out shopping."

>...For gifts for me?

"I... well, I guess you're INCLUDED, but not the focus."

>The fuck does that mean?

"...Have you seriously not been paying attention to me when I talk about Hearth's Warming?"

>Hearth's what now?

"..."

>...You have very pretty eyes.

"I juh... thanks."

>So everyone's shopping without me!?

"HOSPITALIZED."

>They couldn't put it off for a week?

"IT'S THIS WEEK!"

>Seriously? Huh. I really should have been paying attention, but your pecs are hypnotic.

"...Thanks?"

>You should thank me.

"...Are you sure you're okay this time? Actually sure? Double check, I'm not going to have another freakout because you suddenly become unresponsive on the ground AGAIN."

>Yes you will.

"No, no I will not."

>...

"...Shutup."

>WHELP! Only one way to find out.

With pride, regal power and strength, she strode out into the hall.

And promptly fell right on her face.

"CHRYSALIS! OH FUCK NOT AGAIN WHAT DID I JUST SAY-"

>Who the fuck left a banapeel in the damn hallway?!

"...Who the fuck left a bananapeel in a hospital?"

>...

"...Shut up."

>HAH! CHRYSALIS IS BACK AND SHE'S GONNA GO SHOPPING!

"...what about the Sunset thing."

>...

"...You forgot all about it, didn't you?"

>...Like tiny orbs of hypnotism.

"For fucks sake."

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>Luna
"29"
'Zecora'
[MM]
{Trixie}
~~~~~

>Excellent work! It's all finally paying off! AT LAST, THOU CAN TOUCH THEM!

"...Wait, what? Mine hoof could already do that."

'He loves to hug them, as a matter of fact. It's... quite a cute little act.'

[By that she means it's ADORABLE.]

{Pfft.}

>...WHAT!? THEN WHAT HAVE WE WASTED OUR TIME ON THIS WHOLE MONTH!?

"I told thee I could do it already! I haven't stopped telling you I can do it already since you brought it up."

'It's true, he kept mentioning it. You didn't give a shit.'

[You kept getting distracted with stuff.]

>Like what!?

THOOM!

{GAZE UPON TRIXIE'S GREAT AND POWERFUL MIGHT!}

[...That, mostly.]

>Tis just an illusion! She's not actually super powerful!

{Yes, but Trixie LOOKS it, that's important!}

'And then in addition to that you helped my with my brewing. All the while, he sort of sat off to the side, stewing.'

>Well, thou's potion skills were quite... interesting.

"And thou hath not even listened to a word I spoke of the aliens!"

>That one was intentional, thou art stupid.

"HRMPH!"

>So... what DID thou learn?

"Well... I suppose I can hold them better, and they can hold other things when I am holding, them, that is something-"

>AH HAH! A VICTORY! We shall go brag to our sister again!

[You do that a lot, just get a minor win and rush off-]

>WE ARE NOT MISSING IT AGAIN!

[Missing what?]

>EXACTLY!

[...]

>AWAYYYYYY!

*flies off*

"...So, how long till she realizes the eve of Hearth's Warming is soon?"

{How do you know what that is!?}

"Because you gaze upon the lead actor of A Hearth's Warming Sonnet! I have the 'visited by ghosts' part down rather pat, wouldn't you say?"

[...Huh... So that giant package that arrived at your apartment-]

"Is the delux-sized Chitania action figure with city-smashing whacking, and... ugh... and the memory foam plot."

{...Isn't that like, related to him-}

"I KNOW!"

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>Rarity
"Spike"
'AJ'
~~~~~

>Darling... You need to stop with this. This cannot be healthy.

"Rarity... We both know she isn't."

>Well excuse me for trying instead of just watching her! Every day, Spike. She's been here every single day...

"Yeah... I know."

The dragon set a plate of snacks down next to the prone form of the orange pony, the for. Pointed squarely at that big, expansive door.

The door surrounded on all sides, weapon at the ready.

>She can't possibly know she's here.

"Doesn't matter. She just... Needs to be here."

>Oh, bother...

"You don't have to, you know."

>Don't be silly. Of course we do.

"We?"

>Lets not kid ourselves, darling.

"...yeah, point."

And so, they waited.

With her, they waited, just as she had done every day.

Waited for when, finally, the one in that room could hear what she spoke every day.

'Ah'm sorry... Ah' didn't listen.'

She just had to wait...

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>18
"Guards"
~~~~

>...Yay...

It was done.

It was DONE.

They were all fixed, all repaired, all back to normal. They were done, done, DONE DONE DONE DONE DONE! DONEDONEDONEDONEDONEDONEDONEDONEDONEDONEDONE!

It had required a LOT of mining in the crystal mines, a lot of outside help a lot of... everything! Her budget was a mess, but at last, at long, loooooong, long long long last, her Empire was back to being the shining, shimmering, glowing beacon of hope and happiness and love and amazingness she knew it could be! Her Empire was BACK! EXACTLY as she had left it!

Literally exactly.

"Wow, uh... you'd swear a monster didn't smash this place to cookies a month ago."

>...yay...

"You know, I guess we could have used this time to upgrade-"

>HISSSSSSS!

"Alright, alright, jeez!... So, be honest with me."

>Mmmhmm.

"Uh... how much... how much did Princess Cadence help out with?"

>She fixed the Heart.

"And then?"

>...

"...I see..."

>Do not ruin my yay. I will fucking dock your pay. I will put you on midnight shifts for the rest of time. I will give your pension to sick orphans. I will make your life END if you ruin my yay for me right now.

"...Y-yay!"

>That's damn right... yay...

Her Empire was back!

And NOTHING was going to wreck it like that.

Ever... again...

"...You're scaring me with that look."

>DOG ORPHANS, soldier.

'................Y-yaaaayyyyyyyy..........."

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>42
"Sombra"
~~~~

"Is it really necessary to follow her everywhere now? I doubt I've seen you separated for six minutes, total. In a month. Admittedly, I'm not counting bathroom trips, but that is for my own sanity more than your sake."

She grunted, but otherwise gave no reaction... not that he could have told if she did.

"Isn't that stuff heavy?"

The single eye visible beneath the mountain of shopping bags glared at him.

>I AM A WARRIOR! I DO NOT KNOW WHAT HEAVY MEANS!

"Oh yeah? What's the opposite of light?"

>DARKNESS!

"...Please tell me you were being cheeky with that."

>Obviously, come now. I've come to terms with the unfortunate timing of the attack, Majesty has forgiven me, Shining and Cadence remain in good health, so long as I do not let it happen again, I will have learned. That is all that needs to be said.

"So, you stopped moping."

>Yes, I have stopped moping.

"And switched over to watching Cadenza's ass."

>And switched over to... shut the fuck up.

"Oh wow, no blood splatter?"

>Shut up.

"Because normally I see blood splatter."

>Your fucking HEAD is going to be a blood splatter!

"...You do remember I'm a floating smoke thing, right?"

>I WILL FIND A WAY!

"But really, no freakout?"

>...Shut up.

"Oooh, grumbly."

>I said shut up.

"Or what, you'll shuffle at me?"

>MANE-IAC! PUNCH HIM!

A tendril lashed out, launching the wisp clear across the room, and straight into a fountain where he splatted and was comically rained upon.

"...HOW!?"

>As I said, I found a way.

~AHHHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHA!~

>Thank you... hrpmh, watching her ass, I wasn't watching anything, I couldn't see shit out of these bags... stop it... fuck, stop looking. You're only doing it because he pointed it out... you weren't a second ago, stop it... stop it... STOP IT!... NNGGHHHH!

She stopped herself, just before she punched her own face.

>...HAH! IN YOUR FACE, BRAIN!

"MANE-IAC! SHE'S ACTING WEIRD, PUNCH HER!

>Wait wha-

BLAM!

_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Non-Canon
>Pinkie
"Fluttershy"
~~~~~
>Welcome to Not Late Night /pa/ with your host Pinkie Pie! It's during this time that content does matter, but I'm currently trapped in a game of who turned off gravity! Now for our main guest...FLUTTERSHY!!!
Fluttershy tries to airwalk into the room.

"I'm sorry, I'll fix it."

Pinkie now upside down.
>Don't worry about it. It might not actually be your fault. The budget has been tight and gravity might have been cut.

"Oh that's um...good?"

>Are you preparing for Heart's Warming Day? Do you have an idea what you're giving everypony?

"Um I have a general idea."

A safe floats nearby.
>Does the gift you have for me fit in this safe?

"Why yes."

Pinkie rubs her hooves together.
>Perfect...

"ACHOO!"
The safe turns into a Cuckoo clock .
"Sorry."

>Rats. Well that's the end of our show! Great to have you here Fluttershy!
Fluttershy wakes up.

"Good thing Pinkie didn't discover that was her gift."

_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________

>Twilight
"Chrysalis"
~~~~~

"KRACKARACKTHOOOOOM BITCHES!"

>Hi Chrysalis.

"...Hold up, let me try that again."

Deftly, the changeling stepped out, gently closed the door to her lab, and then...

>KOOMKALABOOM!

"Hey."

>...This isn't right.

Again, she stepped out, again-

>CAA CAA CAA CAA CAAAAAMABOOM!

"You going to keep doing that?"

>Where are my declarations of death and horror!?

"I've spent the last month re-securing my whole lab after the... incident. Slam whatever you like, nothing bad will happen."

>You, you little pony... breaking my heart. Broken, like in a million pieces. Shattered, really.

"I considered leaving my lab in a state of possible havoc to make you happy, but in the end, I felt that you would have to rely on the magic of friendship instead."

>Breaking my heart!

"...So, you really feeling okay this time? Not... you know 'you' okay? The doctor wanted to keep you in for another couple weeks. Was not very pleased when you walked out and they weren't present."

>...But you were my doctor.

"Hint hint."

>HAH! I'll have you know I'm feeling just bitchin' right now.

"Poke."

>MOTHER FU-...

"..."

>...I'm ticklish.

"Uh huh. Well, you didn't fall over, so you know what? Benefit of the doubt."

>Damn straight.

"...Sooo... talked to Applejack since, uh... the start?"

>Nope.

"She's tried to come see you a couple times."

>Was probably sleeping. Never saw her.

"...You know she's counting on you, right?"

>HAH! Finally she realizes the power I hold. Took her long enough.

"I'm serious, if you can't get Sunset out back to normal, she'll probably..."

>...Wasn't your fault either, you know.

"Trying to make me feel better doesn't work when I was chewing her out literally four hours before it happened..."

>Meh, you'll just have to chew her out better this time, that'll work.

"...Thanks."

>Already thanking me and I haven't done shit yet. I'm damn good.

"You know, if you pull this off, this might be a good way for you and her toooo... bond?"

>HAH!

"Worth a shot."

>Hey, I'm not fighting her, let's start with that.

"Fair enough, I'll take what I can get."

>Damn straight, now!... What the fuck is this thing?

"This, Chrysalis? This is plan B."

>Plan B?... Oh, so its like, Sunset's memories or something, and you want to make a false Sunset?

"Nope."

>A time machine?

"That doesn't work, actually."

>A... margarita mixer for when this goes south?

"Wrong again."

>DAMN!... So what is it?

"It's either a way to unwind after Sunset is returned in one piece and this stress is put behind her, or... it's a way to divulge into a little fantasy to take off the burden of everything, so she can move on just a little bit easier."

>That doesn't sound healthy.

"Quite the opposite. Let's just say I know first hoof that sometimes, just not being yourself for a little bit... it goes a long way."

>Hmmm... fair enough... not that you'll need it.

"You're sure?"

>Tell you what, if I get her back and she's still sane, you have to stick with me on the game. If I fail, you gotta go with Applejack.

"Oh... okay? Why?"

>Because I already made our team name, and it doesn't fit without you. Fuck if I'm thinking up a new one.

"...Good luck."

>I don't fucking need it... I'm the greatest Queen who ever lived.

"And she has the neck strain from kissing her own ass to show it!"

>HEY!

"No regrets."

>HAH! C'mon, let's go get Caddy so I can light this thing up.

"Don't you want to rest a bit? Find out what you missed?"

>Did I miss anything important?

"...erm..."

>What?

Gently, the alicorn pulled her over, and whispered in her ear.

>THEY'RE FUCKING WHERE!?

_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________

>Chrysalis
"Twilight"
~~~~~

>KRACKARACKTHOOOOOM BITCHES!

"Hi Chrysalis."

>...Hold up, let me try that again.

Deftly, the changeling stepped out, gently closed the door to her lab, and then...

>KOOMKALABOOM!

"Hey."

>...This isn't right.

Again, she stepped out, again-

>CAA CAA CAA CAA CAAAAAMABOOM!

"You going to keep doing that?"

>Where are my declarations of death and horror!?

"I've spent the last month re-securing my whole lab after the... incident. Slam whatever you like, nothing bad will happen."

>You, you little pony... breaking my heart. Broken, like in a million pieces. Shattered, really.

"I considered leaving my lab in a state of possible havoc to make you happy, but in the end, I felt that you would have to rely on the magic of friendship instead."

>Breaking my heart!

"...So, you really feeling okay this time? Not... you know 'you' okay? The doctor wanted to keep you in for another couple weeks. Was not very pleased when you walked out and they weren't present."

>...But you were my doctor.

"Hint hint."

>HAH! I'll have you know I'm feeling just bitchin' right now.

"Poke."

>MOTHER FU-...

"..."

>...I'm ticklish.

"Uh huh. Well, you didn't fall over, so you know what? Benefit of the doubt."

>Damn straight.

"...Sooo... talked to Applejack since, uh... the start?"

>Nope.

"She's tried to come see you a couple times."

>Was probably sleeping. Never saw her.

"...You know she's counting on you, right?"

>HAH! Finally she realizes the power I hold. Took her long enough.

"I'm serious, if you can't get Sunset out back to normal, she'll probably..."

>...Wasn't your fault either, you know.

"Trying to make me feel better doesn't work when I was chewing her out literally four hours before it happened..."

>Meh, you'll just have to chew her out better this time, that'll work.

"...Thanks."

>Already thanking me and I haven't done shit yet. I'm damn good.

"You know, if you pull this off, this might be a good way for you and her toooo... bond?"

>HAH!

"Worth a shot."

>Hey, I'm not fighting her, let's start with that.

"Fair enough, I'll take what I can get."

>Damn straight, now!... What the fuck is this thing?

"This, Chrysalis? This is plan B."

>Plan B?... Oh, so its like, Sunset's memories or something, and you want to make a false Sunset?

"Nope."

>A time machine?

"That doesn't work, actually."

>A... margarita mixer for when this goes south?

"Wrong again."

>DAMN!... So what is it?

"It's either a way to unwind after Sunset is returned in one piece and this stress is put behind her, or... it's a way to divulge into a little fantasy to take off the burden of everything, so she can move on just a little bit easier."

>That doesn't sound healthy.

"Quite the opposite. Let's just say I know first hoof that sometimes, just not being yourself for a little bit... it goes a long way."

>Hmmm... fair enough... not that you'll need it.

"You're sure?"

>Tell you what, if I get her back and she's still sane, you have to stick with me on the game. If I fail, you gotta go with Applejack.

"Oh... okay? Why?"

>Because I already made our team name, and it doesn't fit without you. Fuck if I'm thinking up a new one.

"...Good luck."

>I don't fucking need it... I'm the greatest Queen who ever lived.

"And she has the neck strain from kissing her own ass to show it!"

>HEY!

"No regrets."

>HAH! C'mon, let's go get Caddy so I can light this thing up.

"Don't you want to rest a bit? Find out what you missed?"

>Did I miss anything important?

"...erm..."

>What?

Gently, the alicorn pulled her over, and whispered in her ear.

>THEY'RE FUCKING WHERE!?

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