Acylone has joined the chat
Acylone: Oh, it works like this also.
Acylone: Didn't partook in IMVU in years, so..
Acylone: Please have a seat, I won't ramble you with ten lines of text.
Acylone: I wanted to apologize to you personally. I'm not who I was before, I literally take benzodiazepines which inhibit any drama or rash reaction, there are no possibilities of getting visceral, or ...even able to masturbate or even think in a sexual manner anymore. I can't due to the pills, and I do take more than I should.
Acylone: Why apologize here in PC? Because I saw a lack of empathy from Sir and instead of creating a scene, I thought it's wiser to call you here and apologize for everything I did, for the drama I've created, for almost completely ruining The Den.
Acylone: If by your desire you wish me to repeat the apology in Degradation, I shall do so.
Sadisticat: Sir/Jay is a good friend of mine, I'm sure you understand he and others are going to be a little defensive.
Sadisticat: He advised me not to PC you, after a brief explanation of what happened between us and Sam all those years ago.
Acylone: About...my...death?
Acylone: Sam....
Sadisticat: Not your death.
Sadisticat: Sam, the boy you took as a boyfriend.
Sadisticat: I had him as a teaboy for the Den, when I was under your trial.
Acylone: Yes. but, this is not an excuse, merely an explanation. I saw this behaviour thinned my friends down to 0. Yes, 0.
Acylone: So I can prove to you in photos, and hospital psychiatrical checks that I have fought to change, which might be difficult past the formative years.
Acylone: But I've done it.
Sadisticat: I don't say these things to be harsh, I hope you understand me. I'm just trying to explain why I'm anxious around you. Why I don't know if we should be friends. That, that is going to take time. I accept your apology nonetheless, but I need you to understand that what went on between us and Sam tore apart a friendship and caused me harm for a good while.
Acylone: At least hate me, at least anything. You've meant so much to me. Your mind, brain, kindness and patience, and the way I treated you...
Sadisticat: I'm not capable of hate, Acy. You should know that.
Acylone: I lost Sam too, because of that toxic behaviour. Took longer than with you, but it happened.
Sadisticat: Saw that one coming.
Acylone: Fen...
Acylone: I'd show you somehow if I could recording myself right now, sober, that I'm crying. We went from this pixelated fakery onto Skype and we...you meant so much to me. I haven't touched alcohol in years, my father had 2 vascular accidents and one subarachnoid hemorrage, that prompted me to not ever drink again, because he fell while drunk. Years passed and not even a sip of beer.
Acylone: And the drug addiction I have has only one bad side effect, I fall asleep.
Acylone: I didn't took any today.
Acylone: But just know that if you could see me sober now, clear, recorded with this chat also, I'm crying of regret, hope that satiates your sadistic side, but you meant so bloody much to me.
Acylone: Don't let a dying man you forgave...without the chance to prove he changed.
Sadisticat: My still standing here shows I'm at least willing, anxious as I am.
Acylone: I'll do anything, but one thing. Time. Time is something that suddenly I don't have anymore.
Sadisticat  Exhales, gaze over at him.
Acylone: I'll go in that room and apologize to everyone. but...somehow I get a feeling nobody will be as understanding as you.
Sadisticat: I'm sure you understand they're only looking out for me.
Acylone: I am so so sorry I am giving you anxiety.
Sadisticat: There's not much to be done about it. You're the last person I've had a D/s relationship with where I haven't been the Domme, and with the way things ended I'm very uneasy about how to go about things.
Acylone: Right now, Fen, you're talking to a mess of a man that also takes pills for anxiety, valium, alprazolam(xanax), that there's a very high chance he will die, but his organs and tissues will live in others. If that doesn't show that...I have given up melevolence, egocentrism, I don't know what does. You were and I'm sure, so intelligent and we had such gorgeous conversations.
Acylone: My last resort...