Valentine Dazzlings

>"Annnonnn, let us in." Sonata whinned from behind your door.
"No."
>"Come on Annooon. It's cold out here!"
"It's July Sonata."
>You hear more shuffling from outside. Guess all three are outside.
>"Anon, It's Aria."
>Oh this should be good.
>"Remember that time when I shrink-wrapped your dog?"
"Yeah. Part of the reason why I'm not letting you in."
>"Well I wanted to say that, Im, reallly sorry."
"That sounded fake as hell."
>"Come onn Annooon!" Sonata started up again.
>"I'll make you a ta-co."
"Just had lunch. But thanks for the offer though. Taco Bell sucks these days after they went full tofu."
>"Anon, sweetie? It's Adagio. Why won't you let us in dear?"
"You know damn well why."
>"I know we scared you away with our, differences, but we can still have a good time Anon."
>"All we want is you." They said unanimously.
"Not gonna happen."
>You hear a scratching sound at the bottom of your door followed by a Sonata-like whimper.
>"Do you hear that Anon?" Aria, how could I not. "It's a puppy. I think it want's to see you."
"Not gonna work girls."
>"Anon please."Aria started up again.
>"I know we said some things, and did some stuff, but I think we can work out all our differences and have a fresh start."
>"Let us have that fresh start Anon. We need to see you."
"You can hear me just fine. That will have to do."
>"Hey look Anon! I found a quarter! It even has your birthday on it!"
"Tell me when my birthday is Sonata, and I'll let you in."
>Silence.
>But not for long.
>"Anon quit being a little faggot and open this FUCKING DOOR!"
>lol Aria mad.
"Sounds like someones upset."
>"YES! VERY MAD! I'M SO MAD I COULD TIE YOU DOWN AND RAPE YOU ALL NIGHT LONG UNTILL YOU LIKE IT!"
"Kinky. Still not gonna let you in though."
>"Hey Anon, have you even cleaned your house since the last time we broke in?" Adagio asked.
>"We could dress up like sexy maids and you could watch us clean your house."
"I live in an apartment complex. Bother someone else."
>"But we already ate their brains!"



>Valentines Day.
>Any other year you would look at past loves on your laptop with a bottle of scotch.
>Now you get to spend the day with three zombified teenagers.
>"Annnoooooonnnnn!"
>You keep silent.
>"Annnnooooooooooooon!"
>Ignore them and they'll go away.
>"Annnooon! I know your awaaaake!"
>They've been at this for five hours.
>It would be kind of funny if they wanted your dick instead of your brains.
>"Anon just open the door. We promise to kill you slowly."
"What was that Aria?"
>"I mean quicky! Damn it Anon just let us in! You'll starve to death in there anyway."
"I have enough ramen and water to last me a thousand seasons. Plus enough tuna and beef to last a thousand more."
>Damn sloppy joes sound real good right about now. I should cook some.
>"Oh anon. Look what I found."
"Not happening Adagio."
>"Tell me Anon, do you have enough smokes to last a thousand seasons?"
"Why yes, yes I-"
>A quick glance in your pack reveals you only have three left.
>Cigarettes. My only weakness.
>"What's wrong Anon? Running a bit dry?"
"Theres no way in hell you have any smokes."
>"Why don't you open up and find out?"
>No, but you could use the peep hole.



>Three blood-soaked Dazzlings with Adagio holding two cartons of your favorite brand.
>"Anoon. We're waaitiiiing."
"Fuck you Adagio."
>"That can be arranged." Adagio cooed under a quite blood stricken smile.
>Fuck my short life.
>Why did I move to a gun-free county?
>Wait. You have an idea.
"Ok girls your on. But you have to do exactly as I say. Then we both get what we want."
>"Your brains?"
"Sort of. Take a shower next door, your fucking filthy."

-One hour later-

>You hear a knock on the door.
"Who is it?"
>"P-P-Pizza D-Delivery!"
"I don't remember ordering a pizza."
>"B-But isn't t-th-is number 4-47?"
"Oh you probably got it mixed up. My neighbor to your right orders pizza all the time."
>"Oh! U-Uhokay!"
>A few seconds later you hear him knock on the Dazzlings door.
>"P-Pizza Deliver- Uh..."
>"Oh look girls" you hear Adagio from next door. "He's just what we ordered."
>You hear a struggle from the hallway followed by a door slaming.
>"No, No! No Please!" were the pizza guys last intelligible words.
>You should feel bad about it, but his company specializes in overpriced vegan pizza.
>As the Dazzlings enjoy their meal next door, you crack your door open and retrieve the placed cartons.
>You put in a Dethklok CD in your stereo to drown out the noise and light up a fresh smoke.
>Nothing like getting mauled to a soundtrack.
>All things considered, this Valentines Day isn't so bad after all.