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- Okay, the goal for the Kickstarter will be to upgrade the forums and fix everything and make thing go work good make repair and I don't know how much that will take but whatever, the important thing in any Kickstarter are the STRETCH GOALS so here are the ones other people have requested so far:
- $20,000 - All banned/permabanned users can post for one hour a week on a forum just for them. Any posts they make there will get them banned
- $20,001 - Abe is banished to a sub-forum called "The Abe-borhood" where posters can post about anything except anime & how bad he is at kissing. He cannot post or do anything anywhere else
- $20,002 - "Like" button on posts. Also "gently caress You" button
- $20,140 - Update the copyright year at the bottom of the forum pages
- $22,500 - Blast Processing enabled across the forums
- $25,000 - You and your future wife will receive forum accounts, a wedding, and a wedding ring. You must pay for the wedding and wedding ring
- $34,000 - Forums css is done by a professional and supports responsive design (same css for mobile, tablets, and good gamin' rigs)
- $35,000 - All backers will be sent a copy of the swap.avi HD remake
- $41,152 - I perform a live action version of PAK CHOOIE UNF and push Shmorky down the stairs
- $47,000 - I tearfully admit on a livefeed that I am deeply ashamed of all of you and then proceed to read out every username of all GBS posters
- $48,000 - Forums staff get a 10% pay bump
- $50,000 - Forums plant (you guys can choose the plant and where it should be on the forums)
- $50,004 - Every thread in Debate Disco has Spiegel im Spiegel by Arvo Pärt playing in the background
- $50,010 - For one day every user renamed to 'gobbledick'
- $66,000 - Ball pit built at SA headquarters
- $69,420 - Hire actor to recreate goatse
- $70,000 - shmorky must chose a gender
- $75,001 - Some users will be able to remove another users' spoiler tags
- $75,002 - Some users may sabotage other users' avatars for a week
- $75,009 - Shmorky goes back to making good flash tubs like Awesomedome
- $78,000 - SA Gold is added to the forums
- $80,000 - I will establish a virtual Something Awful office in Second Life and inhabit it for at least a week
- $80,001 - I will make a video game using the Unity engine. Voice acting by Shmorky
- $99,999 - Fragmaster and I recreate "Doom House" on stage
- $100,000 - Procedurally generated forums
- $100,001 - All donors are invited to a special Something Awful carnival. There are no rides, just me sitting under a sign that says "kissing booth"
- $100,002 - SA mobile app for phones
- $100,003 - Create a meme! Describe your idea to me and I'll bring it to life with the help of my loyal slaveshelpers. I'll then dedicate a Front Page article to it!
- $150,000 - Bring back Helldump
- $150,001 - free therapy for an E/N poster of FYAD's choosing
- $150,025 - Pizza party at SA HQ with a Gaming Garbage recording of everyone yelling about how poo poo some game is
- $175,000 - All instances of that pig replaced with dontrel the dolphin
- $200,000 - A documentary will be filmed about the forums upgrade and entered in a local art house movie festival
- $300,000 - I will hire Pewdiepie to provide guest commentary on one of my Let's Play videos
- $300,001 - I will drink nothing but Mangosteen for 3 months
- $410,000 - SA accepts bitcoin for forum accounts; bitcoin users only allowed to post in FYAD; all bitcoins transferred to a black hole address
- $420,000- Will smoke an e-cigarette with "weed" flavor vapor juice to impress friends and piss off my mom
- $470,000 - Forum colour scheme is chosen through public vote. Each element is voted for seperately
- $500,000 - A personal apology letter from radium
- $550,000 - Stuffed Ralp toys for use as prizes in the Reverse Gas Chamber challenge
- $600,000 - An apology letter to Radium, but filled with sarcasm
- $600,001 - Unlocks the ability to reach the $650,000 stretch goal
- $648,000 - Permadead accounts are unbanned and puppeted by mods to trick users into thinking they're still alive, weekend at bernies style
- $666,000 - All the banned mods will come back themed as the seven deadly sins in a special hell forum only bad posters and Kill la Kill avatars are allowed in
- $666,666 - Every user in GBS has the power to probate other users on GBS for 10 minutes
- $700,000 - Shmorky makes a commercial game
- $750,000 - Dan Lirette becomes mod of Debate & Discussion
- $750,001 - Give the forums a cool 3d hollywood posting interface based on the hit movie Johnny Mnemonic
- $911,911 - Gas Chamber will have tribute.wmv as the background
- $1,000,000 - Bring back LF
- $1,000,001 - LF is removed again
- $1,000,002 - Hire David Attenborough to produce and narrate a documentary about Something Awful. Will not inform him of nature of the project
- $1,500,000 - We will work with the Zen Pinball 2 people to release an official digital Something Awful pinball table
- $1,776,000 - An internet controlled drone with a paintball gun attached to it will fly around the SA office. ten bucks for five minutes of use
- $1,969,000 - All typefaces on the forums are replaced with psychedelic hippie letters
- $2,000,000 - Will keep a list of people who use the report button, invite the most frequent abusers to the office, and have Garbage Day punch them in the face
- $2,000,001 - All posts by one user are emailed to their parents in a disapproving font
- $3,000,000 - Cliff Yablonski: Freedom Fighter MMOMOBA
- $3,141,592 - Me/Uwe Boll rematch a la tag-team wrestlemania. I get Shmorky, Uwe Boll gets a tax-write off. Folding chairs are mandatory for all participants
- $4,000,000 - Randomly assign a few banned users a month to order food at Doobie's Dog House, eating there is the only way to unban the account
- $4,000,001 - Meme keychains
- $5,000,000 - The Duke Nukem voice actor narrates all of my posts
- $9,112,001 - Mods get planes flown into them
- $10,000,000 - Ron Paul made Moderator of Debate Disco
- $50,000,000 - GBS Anime Produced
- $69,000,000 - I will personally recreate goatse
- $777,777,777 - One lucky user has every post they've ever made engraved into a gigantic stone block and erected outside the Something Awful office
- $1,000,000,000 - Ban every single user on the forums.
- It is very important we start defining these stretch goals ASAP. I will add any good suggestions to the list.
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