Improve Something Awful Kickstarter

Okay, the goal for the Kickstarter will be to upgrade the forums and fix everything and make thing go work good make repair and I don't know how much that will take but whatever, the important thing in any Kickstarter are the STRETCH GOALS so here are the ones other people have requested so far:
$20,000 - All banned/permabanned users can post for one hour a week on a forum just for them. Any posts they make there will get them banned
$20,001 - Abe is banished to a sub-forum called "The Abe-borhood" where posters can post about anything except anime & how bad he is at kissing. He cannot post or do anything anywhere else
$20,002 - "Like" button on posts. Also "gently caress You" button
$20,140 - Update the copyright year at the bottom of the forum pages
$22,500 - Blast Processing enabled across the forums
$25,000 - You and your future wife will receive forum accounts, a wedding, and a wedding ring. You must pay for the wedding and wedding ring
$34,000 - Forums css is done by a professional and supports responsive design (same css for mobile, tablets, and good gamin' rigs)
$35,000 - All backers will be sent a copy of the swap.avi HD remake
$41,152 - I perform a live action version of PAK CHOOIE UNF and push Shmorky down the stairs
$47,000 - I tearfully admit on a livefeed that I am deeply ashamed of all of you and then proceed to read out every username of all GBS posters
$48,000 - Forums staff get a 10% pay bump
$50,000 - Forums plant (you guys can choose the plant and where it should be on the forums)
$50,004 - Every thread in Debate Disco has Spiegel im Spiegel by Arvo Pärt playing in the background
$50,010 - For one day every user renamed to 'gobbledick'
$66,000 - Ball pit built at SA headquarters
$69,420 - Hire actor to recreate goatse
$70,000 - shmorky must chose a gender
$75,001 - Some users will be able to remove another users' spoiler tags
$75,002 - Some users may sabotage other users' avatars for a week
$75,009 - Shmorky goes back to making good flash tubs like Awesomedome
$78,000 - SA Gold is added to the forums
$80,000 - I will establish a virtual Something Awful office in Second Life and inhabit it for at least a week
$80,001 - I will make a video game using the Unity engine. Voice acting by Shmorky
$99,999 - Fragmaster and I recreate "Doom House" on stage
$100,000 - Procedurally generated forums
$100,001 - All donors are invited to a special Something Awful carnival. There are no rides, just me sitting under a sign that says "kissing booth"
$100,002 - SA mobile app for phones
$100,003 - Create a meme! Describe your idea to me and I'll bring it to life with the help of my loyal slaveshelpers. I'll then dedicate a Front Page article to it!
$150,000 - Bring back Helldump
$150,001 - free therapy for an E/N poster of FYAD's choosing
$150,025 - Pizza party at SA HQ with a Gaming Garbage recording of everyone yelling about how poo poo some game is
$175,000 - All instances of that pig replaced with dontrel the dolphin
$200,000 - A documentary will be filmed about the forums upgrade and entered in a local art house movie festival
$300,000 - I will hire Pewdiepie to provide guest commentary on one of my Let's Play videos
$300,001 - I will drink nothing but Mangosteen for 3 months
$410,000 - SA accepts bitcoin for forum accounts; bitcoin users only allowed to post in FYAD; all bitcoins transferred to a black hole address
$420,000- Will smoke an e-cigarette with "weed" flavor vapor juice to impress friends and piss off my mom
$470,000 - Forum colour scheme is chosen through public vote. Each element is voted for seperately
$500,000 - A personal apology letter from radium
$550,000 - Stuffed Ralp toys for use as prizes in the Reverse Gas Chamber challenge
$600,000 - An apology letter to Radium, but filled with sarcasm
$600,001 - Unlocks the ability to reach the $650,000 stretch goal
$648,000 - Permadead accounts are unbanned and puppeted by mods to trick users into thinking they're still alive, weekend at bernies style
$666,000 - All the banned mods will come back themed as the seven deadly sins in a special hell forum only bad posters and Kill la Kill avatars are allowed in
$666,666 - Every user in GBS has the power to probate other users on GBS for 10 minutes
$700,000 - Shmorky makes a commercial game
$750,000 - Dan Lirette becomes mod of Debate & Discussion
$750,001 - Give the forums a cool 3d hollywood posting interface based on the hit movie Johnny Mnemonic
$911,911 - Gas Chamber will have tribute.wmv as the background
$1,000,000 - Bring back LF
$1,000,001 - LF is removed again
$1,000,002 - Hire David Attenborough to produce and narrate a documentary about Something Awful. Will not inform him of nature of the project
$1,500,000 - We will work with the Zen Pinball 2 people to release an official digital Something Awful pinball table
$1,776,000 - An internet controlled drone with a paintball gun attached to it will fly around the SA office. ten bucks for five minutes of use
$1,969,000 - All typefaces on the forums are replaced with psychedelic hippie letters
$2,000,000 - Will keep a list of people who use the report button, invite the most frequent abusers to the office, and have Garbage Day punch them in the face
$2,000,001 - All posts by one user are emailed to their parents in a disapproving font
$3,000,000 - Cliff Yablonski: Freedom Fighter MMOMOBA
$3,141,592 - Me/Uwe Boll rematch a la tag-team wrestlemania. I get Shmorky, Uwe Boll gets a tax-write off. Folding chairs are mandatory for all participants
$4,000,000 - Randomly assign a few banned users a month to order food at Doobie's Dog House, eating there is the only way to unban the account
$4,000,001 - Meme keychains
$5,000,000 - The Duke Nukem voice actor narrates all of my posts
$9,112,001 - Mods get planes flown into them
$10,000,000 - Ron Paul made Moderator of Debate Disco
$50,000,000 - GBS Anime Produced
$69,000,000 - I will personally recreate goatse
$777,777,777 - One lucky user has every post they've ever made engraved into a gigantic stone block and erected outside the Something Awful office
$1,000,000,000 - Ban every single user on the forums.
It is very important we start defining these stretch goals ASAP. I will add any good suggestions to the list.