How The Ponises Would Ask You Out

Howdy!
These are a collection of hypothetical scenarios of how YOUR favorite poner might ask YOU out!

Made in response to this thread, cause the answers people had were lame (sorry, not sorry):      https://desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/37688499/

These are more like monologues aimed at you more than actual stories. But they'll make you feel better, I hope. They have a little poetic seasoning to what little prose there is.

Enjoy.




		Twilight Sparkle:

>"Hey, Anon!"
>"So, um, here’s the thing."
>"I...I finally think I know how to do this."
>"You see, I, uh, had some filing to do this weekend up in Canterlot at Princess Celestia’s School for Gifted Unicorns, and, weeeell…
>"I kind of wanted you to go with me?"
>"To the, uh, reunion dance they’re having there too, that is."
>"You know, to keep me company!"
>"...Is that weird? That’s weird, isn’t it?"
>"Ugh...I’m sorry."
>"I’m no good at this."
>"I’ve spent the entire day around Ponyville, talking to each and every one of my friends, asking for help on how to do this!"
>"I thought that maybe if I had their advice, I could, you know...figure how to ask you out..."
>"Because, I...I like you."
>"And I think you're silly, too!"
>"But...liten, Anonymous:"
>"If this is something that has weirded you out...I understand."
> "No, really. I do."
>"But if not?
>"Well, what do ya say?"
>. . .
>"You...you would?"
>"Omigosh, really!?"
>"Wow! Um, great!"
>"Yeah, I’m leaving the day after tomorrow at seven; you wanna come?"
>"Great! Um, I-I’ll see you later, Anonymous! Take care!"
>.
>.
>.
>"Wow. I did it! I really did it…"
She looks around to see if anypony is watching.
Poofs a scroll and inked-quill pen out of nowhere. Writes.
>"Dear Princess Celestia..."
She giggles.
Giggles in a way her friends had probably never heard from her before.
Giggles like Cadance did when she first met her BBBFF.
Giggles like Mom and Dad did when they'd talk about some trip they took once at the dinner table.
She giggles like a mare in luck— a pony in love.
Spike would not send this letter to Princess Celestia.
She'd deliver it herself with her first date in a long, long time.



		Applejack:

>"So, uh...I’ve never been one for...gettin’ real nervous doin’ this sorta thing here."
>"I, uh...usually just do a bit of the ol’ wink-and-tease bit with some conversatin’, ya know?"
>"Specially when it comes to most ponies."
>"...But you ain’t most other ponies now, are you, partner?"
>"So..."
>"Here’s the sitch— I like ya."
>"Heck, I like ya a lot!"
>"And if I’m to be honest, I think you’re about the darndest thing I’ve set eyes on in a long time."
>"So I wantcha to come dancin’ with me."
>"And trust me, I ain’t talkin’ ‘bout your cheesy old silly fru-fru dances in the ballroom or nothin’, I’m talkin’ square-dancin’ and apple-bobbin’ and bull-ridin’ cowpony-style at Sweet Apple Acres!"
>"We’re havin’ a big ol’ hootennany in the next comin’ weekend and the whole town’s gonna be there!"
>"And there’ll be lot of Apple family cider there too, ya know..."
>"Now, I ain’t sayin’ ya have to go as my date...but I’m sure askin' if you would like ta."
>"And if ya just wanna...hold my hoof somewhere too, maybe and...and look up at the stars somewhere when your tuckered out?"
>"Why…I think that’d do quite nicely."
>.
>.
>.
>"Oh, now wipe that grin offa your face."
>"I could just ask any other mare or stallion to go with me."
>"Maybe find me somepony who can handle a—"
>. . .
>"...Ya will?"
She laughs. Smiles like the sun.
>"Eeyup! Next Friday night!"
>"And, uh, if you wanna hang out anytime until then, you just gimme a holler now!"
>"Oh, also, uh..."
She chuckles.
>"...Expect to get your clothes a little dirty."
>"Hay bales can get a might bit dusty, cow-boy."
She winks. The old wink-and-tease.
But this, with a kiss on the cheek before she leaves, and her face hidden beneath her hat to cover a bashful, warm-faced smile.
The girliest she felt in years...



		Pinkie Pie:

>"Oh! Oh, oh, oh!"
>"Over here!"
>"Hi, Anonymous!"
>"How's it goin’?"
>"Did you hear about my super awesome mega-terrific party I’ve been planning for, like, two whole weeks!?"
>"It’s gonna be so fun!"
>"It’s right after the Iron Pony Competition at the end of the Running of the Leaves race."
>"There’s gonna be cakes and pies and games and music and a whole boat-load of things to do!"
>"Oh! But that’s not it!"
>"Here, I got you a present, see?"
A pink box. Blue curly ribbon. Half a laundry basket's size.
>"Huh?"
>"Whaddya mean what’s inside?"
>"It’s a surprise, silly!"
>"C’mon, open it! It’s just for you!"
>.
>.
>.
>"Surprise!"
She leaps out from *inside* the present. A pink pony jack-in-the-box.
But who hugs.
>"It’s me! I'm gonna be your luckiest, number-one date at the party!"
>"You like? I can bake you something instead if ya want! Or I can make you have the bestest, most-funnest, crazy-most-excitingest date of your whole LIFE!"
>"I’ll make sure you have so much fun!"
>"Oh, and we can also hang out with the rest of the girls, too!"
>"Or we can just hold hooves!"
>"What about riding my hot air balloon?"
>"Oh! Oh! I know! We can watch the Running of the Leaves from my balloon, just like I did with Spike!"
>"You can even commentate with me too! I like it when you talk, you know!"
>"So, what do ya say, huh, Nonny?"
>"Wanna take me out for a party?"
>.
>.
>.
>"Huh?"
>"Oh, no no no no no!"
>"We don’t *have* to go on a date!"
>"I can be your wingpony if you want! I can put in a good word for you with—"
>.
>.
>.
>"Huh?"
>"Really?
>"Really-really, really?"
>*Gasp!*
>"OH MY GOSH!"
>"YOU SAID YES! YOU SAID YES!"
>"WOO-HOOOOOOOO!"
>"WE’RE GONNA HAVE SO MUCH FUN I’LL GO CRAZZZYYY!"
>"AAAAAHHH!"
And the town square erupted with confetti and balloons. And there were lots of happy little kisses.
Pink kisses.


		Fluttershy:

>"Um, thanks again for coming to help feed the racoons with me, Anonymous; they really like it when you come over to visit."
>"And, um, I-I do, too."
  			https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=88vkDp6vI0I
> "...So, now that we’re all done feeding the animals, I’m sure you’ve worked up quite an appetite."
>"If you want, I could cook some dinner for us."
>"Or, you know, we could…"
>"W-we could, um…"
>"Go out."
>"I-if you don't mind, that is."
>"Eh-heh..."
>*ahem*
>"Um,..."
>"A-actually, Anon?"
>"Would you...maybe like to eat dinner out?"
>"And, um, with me, I mean..."
>"If you don’t have any plans."
>"And m-maybe it could be like..."
>"L-like a…"
>"...date?"
>.
>.
>.
>"Anon?"
>"A-anon, what are you—?"
>"eep!"
>.
>.
>.
>"Oh..."
>"Oh my..."
>"Anonymous..."
>"C-could you maybe...do that again, please?"
>"Um, but only if you don't mind, that is..."
>"I...I..."
>"I love you, too..."
And they stayed in for dinner. They stayed close for the evening.
Happily ever after.

		Rainbow Dash:

>"Hey."
>"What’s up?"
>"So, uh, couldn’t help but notice you were staring at me earlier. You know, when we were all swimming at the reservoir?"
>"And I mean, like, *really* staring at me."
>"There something you wanna talk about?"
>"See somethin' you like?"
>. . .
>"Heh. Thought so."
>"Well, you're not so bad yourself, you know."
>"Look, I don’t really do this for just anypony now, but, uh, I was wondering if maybe you’d wanna come see the Wonderbolts with me."
>"Yeah, I actually sorta know some of them, so I'm pretty sure we can get in for cheap."
>"Yeah. Pretty neat, huh?"
>"But you know, that’s me, Rainbow Dash: coolest and most fastest flyer in all of Equestria."
>"Hey, I guess we could treat this sort of like a date, right?"
>"Two good-looking friends going out to chill..."
>"I mean, if you're in, of course. You *are* in, aren't you?"
>.
>.
>.
>"Ha ha, alright! Awesome!"
>"I mean, uh, cool! "
>"Yeah, I’ll meet ya over at my place tomorrow morning, alright?"
>"Heh. See ya around, Anonymous. Stay cool!"
She blasts off, far away. A few loops to show off along with it.
She retreats to a cloud. Her house. Gushes. Ecstatic. Excited.
>“Omigoshomigoshomigosh!”
>“I can’t believe that just worked!”
>“Tank! You’ll never believe it! He said yes!”
There would be kisses to be had later.
But tonight, a cuddle with a turtle — no, a tortoise — would suffice...


		Rarity:

>"Why, hello, Anonymous!"
>"How good it is to see you."
>"Come! Please, do sit with me!"
>"Ah. It truly is a most *gorgeous* a day today, is it not?"
>"I was just on my way to see if you were home, you know, but I simply just had to take a moment to sit here and admire the clouds."
>"But seeing as you’re here anyhow, I suppose I might as well speak of what I had to tell you."
>"You see, this evening, my parents were to stop in town by in Ponyville on the midst of their cross-country vacation!"
>"I was going to meet them at one of our town's finest restaurants too and everything, even taking the trouble to place a reservation for us and such...
>"Alas, it would seem I shan’t be seeing them anytime soon."
>"They’ve fallen under this silly notion that there’s still more to see in FIllydelphia!"
>"And so, here I am, alone, all without anypony but myself to bring to dinner with me."
>"Unless...*you* would happen to be interested? Hm?"
>"I...I do admit, I have been thinking about you as of late."
>"About you and the politic of the heart."
>"I...I had always imagined I would be married by now."
>"I dreamed at this age, I would surely be wed to my one and only true Prince Charming."
>"Ever since I was a filly."
>"But princes, it would seem, are not as royal as I had previously believed."
>"And don't even get me started on Trenderhoof."
>"But you?"
>"You, darling, are what we refer to in the industry...as a catch!"
She titters. Flawless nose crinkles with her smile. Eyes twinkle like jewels.
>"You ask about my day so often. You always think of my feelings. I think it’s time I get to know yours a bit more."
>"And I *do* have two reservations after all."
>"I think it best I use them with you tonight."
>"So? What will it be, Anonymous?"
>"Would you like to accompany me for a romantic evening?"
>.
>.
>.
>"...Anonymous?"
>"Oh, no.
>"Anonymous, i-it's okay! I understand!"
>"You don't have to—"
>.
>.
>.
>"...You do?"
>"Oh, wonderful!"
>"How I hoped you would want to!"
>"I promise you, Anonymous, that this evening will be a night like no other!"
>"I guarantee it!"
>"You will not regret this!"
>"And, by the way..."
>"Sweetie Belle is staying over at the Apples' for the night."
>"In case you might like some wine."
>"Or some 'company', as it were..."
And company was had. Later on, so were wedding bells.
And in her smile, and for years to come, and in the twinkle within her eyes, would those bells always ring— for there's was a love that every pony should know.


		Princess Celestia:

>"Ah, my faithful human!"
>"I do hope you forgive my unexpected arrival, but I had a message I wished to give you."
>"Personally."
>"Hm?"
>"Oh, no, silly!"
>"I assure you, there isn’t anything the matter. You needn’t worry now."
>"However, it would be nice if you could welcome me inside?"
>"I'd rather we chat in private as opposed to speaking in the company of the royal guard and a plethora of on-lookers."
>"Not that I dislike standing at your doorway, of course."
She laughs. Smiles like the sun.
She *is* the sun.
>"Ah, here we go."
>"Thank you for allowing me into your home."
>"So, now that we’re in the clear, let me begin."
>"This matter I wish to speak with you is a little..."
>"Personal."
>"Though I’m a very old pony, Anonymous, it is rare that my long life succumbs me to malaise."
>"I love providing for my ponies, difficult and repetitive though it may be, but it is not this which arouses an unhappiness within my heart."
>"In fact, it is not even the suppression of normalcy which miss."
>"Anonymous, would you like to know the secret of an immortal?"
>"It’s time."
>"Time flies, my little human. Just like that."
>"There was an old friend of mine, a guard I was very close to during the 900th year of my sister’s banishment."
>"Sometimes, we’d be too busy to speak, perhaps a year may go by— you know how it goes."
> "But sometimes, it isn’t just a year."
>"Sometimes, it’s five."
>"Then, fifteen."
>"And then, finally..."
>". . ."
>"Anonymous."
>"I feel so very out of place."
>"I know I am not in a situation as isolating as yours must feel, but..."
>"I don’t want to lose you, too."
>"You deserve better."
>"I think we could greatly help each other out."
>"Would you...like to come with me for a royal dinner this evening?"
>"I don’t think I want to sleep alone on this night."
>"And you shouldn't, either."
And she didn't. She didn't and neither did her bed fellow, and such was this how they slept, happily ever after>"Ah, my faithful human!"
>"I do hope you forgive my unexpected arrival, but I had a message I wished to give you."
>"Personally."
>"Hm?"
>"Oh, no, silly!"
>"I assure you, there isn’t anything the matter. You needn’t worry now."
>"However, it would be nice if you could welcome me inside?"
>"I'd rather we chat in private as opposed to speaking in the company of the royal guard and a plethora of on-lookers."
>"Not that I dislike standing at your doorway, of course."
She laughs. Smiles like the sun.
She *is* the sun.
>"Ah, here we go."
>"Thank you for allowing me into your home."
>"So, now that we’re in the clear, let me begin."
>"This matter I wish to speak with you is a little..."
>"Personal."
>"Though I’m a very old pony, Anonymous, it is rare that my long life succumbs me to malaise."
>"I love providing for my ponies, difficult and repetitive though it may be, but it is not this which arouses an unhappiness within my heart."
>"In fact, it is not even the suppression of normalcy which miss."
>"Anonymous, would you like to know the secret of an immortal?"
>"It’s time."
>"Time flies, my little human. Just like that."
>"There was an old friend of mine, a guard I was very close to during the 900th year of my sister’s banishment."
>"Sometimes, we’d be too busy to speak, perhaps a year may go by— you know how it goes."
> "But sometimes, it isn’t just a year."
>"Sometimes, it’s five."
>"Then, fifteen."
>"And then, finally..."
>". . ."
>"Anonymous."
>"I feel so very out of place."
>"I know I am not in a situation as isolating as yours must feel, but..."
>"I don’t want to lose you, too."
>"You deserve better."
>"I think we could greatly help each other out."
>"Would you...like to come with me for a royal dinner this evening?"
>"I don’t think I want to sleep alone on this night."
>"And you shouldn't, either."
And she didn't. She didn't and neither did her bed fellow, and such as this was it that they slept, happily ever after— and forever after.


		Princess Luna

>"Ah, greetings, Anonymous."
>"It has been far too long since we have last spoken, would you not agree?"
>"Alas, the night, quiet though she may be, has held busy her princess; the dreams of ponies who keep in their sleep, the bright of the waxing and waning of moons, the stars which must twinkle and the stars which must fall…"
>"Oh, there is much about the night, Anonymous, to make one ponder."
>"Much often do they ponder alone."
>"Would you...mind if I come inside?"
>"I would not want unwanted eyes to happen upon my visage outside your bedroom window."
>"Or, if you would rather, I could speak to thee in a dream?"
>"I wish not to encroach upon your sleep."
>". . ."
>"Ah. You do not mind being awake. I thank you."
She enters with a quick nod and a smile. It's as elegant as the bowing of angels.
>"Now, Anonymous, I assure you this is nothing so important. I merely wish to vent."
>"I... have been gone for a thousand years."
>"The elements of harmony have been paramount in my reintegration of this...new Equestria."
>"So too have their wielders aided me to partake in the present's social discourse with my beloved subjects."
>"And yet..."
>"Oh, Anonymous..."
> "Life is a strange thing."
>"To be immortal as I am is vexing enough."
>"To be immortal and removed a thousand years from time, even more so!"
>"I happen to know a great deal about Nightmares, my little human."
>"But to seek courtship in this new world?"
>"Now *that*, dear Anonymous, is a *true* nightmare, a different beast I face altogether."
>"And so..."
Her night-blue gaze. It softens, thaws over with a playful warmth.
>"...I figured I would *ask* a different beast altogether, for surely they may know things which I know not."
Personal space becomes more personal. Her mirth adds to it.
>"Anonymous, what would you do if I said I were to fancy you?"
>"Your peculiarities amuse me. Your dreams entertain. Your humor goes from bold to crass, and brass to gold. And you look quite virile to a pony as I."
>"Were I to say, 'Oh, Anonymous, dearest friend, taketh me tp dinner,' what would you to say?"
>"Hm."
>"Indeed, I wonder..."
>"But then again, tis not like I have actually asked."
>"Have I?"
>.
>.
>.
>"Why, asking a princess out for a date?"
>"Anonymous, how bold of you. I think six tomorrow will do nicely."
>"Alas, I must tend to this night once more. There is much to do, I have."
>". . ."
>"Sleep well."
The next night began at six p.m.
It was the thing that dreams are made of, a night so magical they wished it would last forever.
And in their dreams?
Their fun would be doubled...


		Tom, the rock

>"Anon, I..."
>"I love you, but..."
>"You have to let go."
>.
>.
>.
Rocks can't ask people out.




		Maud Pie:

>“Anon.”
>“I’d like to take you out for a date.”
>.
>.
>.
>“I’m sorry.”
>"I came on too strongly.
>“Pinkie always said I’m a very passionate pony.”
>“I am also a passionate lover.”
>.
>.
>.
>“I’m sorry.”
>.
>.
>.
>“I wrote you a poem.”
>“It’s about you.”
>“And rocks.”
>.
>.
>.
>“I’m going to read it now.”
>.
>.
>.
>“‘Anon.’”
>“‘I think you are…’”
>“‘...nice.’”
>“. . .”
>“Like a rock.”
>“. . .”
>“I also think you are different.”
>“. . .”
>“Like a different rock.”
>“You are composed of different minerals.”
>“And your smile makes my heart melt.”
>“Like magma.”
>“. . .”
>“You are as interesting as the metamorphic formations that mottle the horizon."
> “You are the molten core of my igneous desire.”
>“. . .”
>“Like a rock.”
>“That is the poem.”
>.
>.
>.
>“I want you.”
>.
>.
>.
>“Oh.”
>“Oh.”
>“Oh.”
>“Anon.”
>“I’m so happy.”
>“Keep going.”
>“Oh.”
>“Yes.”
>“Right there.”
>“Oh.”
>“. . .”
>“. . .”
>“. . .”
>“Ah.”
>“. . .”
>“I’ve ejaculated. I have never ejaculated like this.”
>“Anon. You’re so soft.”
>“Like a rock.”
And they were each other's rock, and they always would be.