Thread 27: Stories 61-75

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>42
"56"
~~~~

>Do try to keep that thing on a leash, will you?

"Not-mom says I'm not allowed near the leash until I grow up."

>...Throwing up slightly in my mouth...

"By the way, what's been up with you recently?"

>'Up with me'? Child, do not expect me to understand your youthful 'lingo'.

"Just saying, you've been shaking more than sunsplot's plot after and sunny little shot, you wot?"

>...

"...You're shaking a lot."

>I do not "Shake", I have muscle spasms. When you are older, you will hopefully be more courteous to those who have seen the effects of battle.

"Ohhhh, like when 77 bro was all like 'STABSTABSTAB!'?"

>Please do not make light of his troubles like that. I may have seen more combat than he has, but his severity likely is greater than my own.

"Just saying, you need to stop with the jiggling. Don't be like Moon's plot, be like Caddy's! Caddy's ass is-"

>THERE IS NOTHING WRONG WITH HER ASS!

"..."

>...A-a-hem... as I was saying, there is nothing wrong with her... 'plot. It is a perfectly nice plot. Besides that, her face is a far better feature... not that I care about that, as her facial features are only of concern to her husband, Shining Armor, who loves her, and she loves HIM, and that is the end of that.

"...Wha-"

>Exactly. Now, if you don't mind...

*SLAM!*

"...42? That's a closet.... 42?"

*SMASHSMASHSMASHSMASHSMASH*

"...Did... did you just punch through the wall?"

{EEP! 42! I'M ON THE TOILET!

>SORRYSORRYSORRY!

*SMASHSMASHSMASHSMASHSMASHSMASHSMASHSMASHSMASHSMASH!*

"...You know, I might have been over-reacting, she seems fine."

*SMASHSMASHSMASHSMASHSMASHSMASHSMASHSMASHSMASHSMASHSMASHSMASHSMASHSMASHSMASHSMASHSMASHSMASHSMASHSMASHSMASHSMASHSMASHSMASH*


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>42
“Brain”
‘???’
_______

A thunderous roar shook the stadium. But not 42. She might as well have been crafted of rock as a manticore stampeded towards her from across the expansive landscape.

“Ummmm, why are we here again?”

>…

“Hello? This is an urgent question I am asking, one that needs to be answered. Quickly, to sustain our life. Why are we here?”

>Well. It’s Friday, and since you’ve been so... vocal lately, it got me thinking. Got me thinking long and hard-

“So that’s where the headaches came from. Actual effort towards thought instead of just punching.”

>…Anyway, continuing on, I wondered if what I was thinking could be applied to my love of hitting things.

“Knew it’d circle back to there eventually.”

>I’m calling on you to release the inhibitors on my reflexes.

“What?”

Cracks severed the ground around 42 as the manticore neared.

“You’re insane. That’s… releasing your inhibitors means acting involuntarily, cutting off the thought process. Cutting yourself off from me.”

>I know.

“You NEED me to live. You know this, right? Or did you punch yourself a mite too hard last time?”

>I might’ve, not going to lie there. Doesn’t change the fact that I am far too curious not to test this out. If I don’t have to waste time thinking then my actions should flow seamlessly without thought to bog it down. I’ll be… free.

“...I’m somewhat insulted.”

>Don’t be.

“Why would you choose to do this now? With this gigantic, foaming beast bearing down on us?”

>Because what can be gained of practice if not utilized in a life-or-death situation?

“Surprisingly, that in no way made me feel better.”

Fifty feet.

>Trust me.

Forty feet.

“…Fine.”

Thirty feet.

“Just… protect me, won't you?”

Twenty feet.

Grinning, 42 reached up to give her Helmet of Helmets a reassuring metallic tap.

>Don’t I always?

Ten feet.

“Good luck.”

Spike wasted no time in leaping up when 42 walked back through the stadium entrance, having been asked to stay behind.

'42! You look… I… huh, you actually look okay. Uh, are you okay? Did everything go well? Doesn’t look like you got seriously injured. Or… injured at all really.’

>Because I’m not. It didn’t land one hit on me. Fighting without inhibitors to the brain really allows you to perform some incredible feats. For me, a changeling who thrives in the fires of combat, it’ll make a perfect addition to my arsenal.

‘You don’t say. And, just a simple question here, but why’re your legs beginning to wobble?’

>Hm? Oh, after-effect. Apparently, all of my muscles are about to cramp up to nightmarish levels of agony rendering me less mobile than a slug in molasses for a little while.

‘…’

>Yeah.

*THUD*

>AAAAAAAAAAAAHMYWORLDISPAIN!

‘Yuuuup, looks like it. I was going to ask you to show me how you did the whole ‘release’ thing but never mind, I’m good.’

>AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

‘So. Applebutt and I have been looking for a little cool down spot we could all go to. You know, to rest and relax, just goof around. Any thoughts?’

>AAAAAAAAAAAAA

‘Not bad, not bad, I’ll make mention later.’

>AAAAAAAAAAAAHHH

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>29
"MM"
'Trixie'
[Zecora]
~~~

>AGGGRRHHH! MINE BACK SO PURE AND STRAIGHT! Oh horrors untold, oh rapturous pain that brings me unto hell in a dark mockery of the light. OH THE AGONY!

"..."
'...'
[...]

>...F-fine, go ahead, call me whiny.

"No no, go on."

'Yeah, uh, you kind of earned this one.'

[By all means, continue to cry. We will be here, on standby.]

>...It really hurt.

"Yeah, I'll say."

'Trixie may be Great and Powerful, but even she thinks that was pretty brutal.'

[Although you do seem quite aloof, I have to admit you surprised in that hoof to hoof.]

>Really?

'No. You got your ass kicked.'

"You did."

>...My spiiiiine.

"Yeah, that was kind of a dick move. She's your sister or something, right?"

>...Why do I even do it, Maney? You know? There's no end to them! I send one away, I wake up to four more! OH FORGOTTEN SOULS! HOW MANY OF YOU STILL WALK THIS RE-OWOWOWOWOW!

'Just say screw it.'

"TRIXIE!"

'What? Look, they're not going to stop, you know, what are you waiting for? What are you hoping to accomplish here? You're up to, what, three hundred?'

>...More than that...

'So who's going to blame you? Oh, you only helped THREE HUNDRED orphans find peace? Just three hundred insane, painful tasks? You selfish monster.'

>...

[Do not deride her, she is right. Nobody would blame you if you removed from your life this blight.]

>THEY'RE NOT A-...

"...Oh, Niney, she didn't mean it like that."

'I dunnol, they're pretty blighty-HEY!'

In a flash, he had her up against the wall.

>...They're NOT. Do my words reach thine ears!? Just because they are alone and forgotten does not make them a burden unto my back! They chose not the woes they carry! IT'S NOT THEIR FAULT!

'JEEZ, ALRIGHT! Okay!? It's fine... we'll... we'll you know, get back and do some more stuff later, okay?'

Twitching and breathing heavy from the pain, he reluctantly let her go.

>...It's not...

"Oh, Niney..."

Not just one, but two different hooves found their way to his shoulder.

[Do not fret, nor let her words sink to your core. If she did not speak as she did, everyone would think her a bore.]

'HEY!'

"Niney, we know it's hard but... but they came to you, right?"

[For souls to seek out you, of all of those in this place... what is inside must matter, more than your chitinous face.]

"And we see it, so... so come on, buck up. You'll get through this. I mean, really, how many orphans who are bitter can there be? Some of them have to be happy, right? I mean, probably."

[At least one or two. Do not look so blue.]

Nonetheless, his ears started to droop.

"...You know what we need? A vacation."

'...Are you serious?'

"No! Really! With all the town maintenance and crazy antics, when's the last time we had honest to Celestia FUN, you know? When's the last time we just, you know, hung out? Did normal pony stuff- no offense."

>[None taken.]

"What we need is a breather, some time to go, collect our heads and then get back to helping everyone out. We need a break sometimes, and boy, we've earned it."

>...Well...

"Come on, what's going to happen? Are they going to get deader on you?"

>...When you put it that way, I suppose a brief respite might be in order.

"Great! Zecora, pack your things, we're going on a trip!"

Confused, the zebra tilted her head.

[You seek to bring me? Your reason, I do not see.]

"Oh come ooon, you're my girl by this point! Like a sister, no question. You've gotta come! What are you going to do instead, go sit in your shack some more?"

[...You have a point, I will concede to be clear. It does sound good to spend time with those I have come to hold dear.]

"ATTAGIRL!"

'...'

"..."

'...A-hem.'

"Promise to stop eating Niney's good chocolates.'

'THEY'RE SO DELICIOUS!'

"..."

'...FIIIINE!'

"Awesome!"

Scooping up the changeling by the neck, and ignoring his screams of pain, she raced out the door.

Then immediately turned around and came back in.

"Uh... any ideas where to go?"

>...
'...'
[...]
"...Hrm."
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Non-canon.

~~~~

Canterlot Garden had been completely renovated. The trees, the bushes, all the potted plants and shrubbery were gone, and in its place, nothing but the smoothest of grassy plains tickled by a rolling breeze.

A soccer ball fell to the ground with a hoof planted firmly over it. A hoof riddled with holes. A hoof belonging to 56.

He glanced across the field at the other team, a challenging smirk curling his lips. “You know you’re goin’ down, right?” he shouted across the way.

“I wouldn’t bet on it, squirt,” Rainbow replied, just as aloof. “But… how did you make captain again?”

Standing just behind 56 with the others and dressed in custom-made uniforms, Applejack rolled her eyes. “Thas’ what Ah’d like to know mahself,” she said, nodding once at Spike who still looked just as confused. “Ah thought it’d be him but 56 jus’ bum rushed our group meetin’ and then… this happened.”

“Don’t worry, don’t worry, we got this,” 56 reassured as he bounced the ball up, displaying a rare scene of concentration when he balanced it on his head, mindful of his horn. “Flatflank, hold onto this for me.”

“While you do what, idiot?”

“Customary hoofshake between captains!” he explained with laugh, and he pumped the ball at her, satisfied when she hip-bumped it towards Cheerilee and the two began simple passing maneuvers. “Awesome. And now….”

His march across the field towards the middle was mimicked by Dash. Behind him stood Spike, Applejack, Tiara, Cadance and Cheerilee- his squad, the Plot Plunderers. Dash’s team consisted of Rarity, Shining, Twilight, 77 and 42. No name, which surprised many as they figured Dash would want to come up with something extravagant.

“There’s really no need for a name,” she had told AJ10, who was both broadcasting and documenting the event. “When we thrash the, ugh… Plot Plunderers, it’ll be a swift beating. Merciless and precise, almost like a whisper from the wind."

The two captains stood within spitting distance of one another, the rainbow mare and her team dressed in a striking blue and red attire while 56 and his crew donned yellow and green.

He offered a hoof first. “No hard feelin’s when me and my team grind y’all into the dust, yeah?”

Dash crafted a mental picture of that perverted Changelings arrogant smile, making sure to frame it for reference when she wiped it clean. “When you get interviewed about your crushing defeat be sure to smile just like that,” she smirked, taking his hoof in hers.

They shook.

Then broke apart, spinning about and marching back to their respective sides.

As 56 rejoined his team, he whistled for the ball and Spike gave it a soft kick in his direction. “Alright, team, here’s the deal. I know across the field those people look like your friends… but they ain’t. Not today they ain’t. They’re the enemy, and what do we do to our enemies?”

Applejack lifted a hoof. “Give ‘em the benefit of the doubt?”

Spike lifted a claw. “Show them the error of their ways?”

Twilight lifted a wing. “Realize that everyone makes mistakes and offer them a second chance?”

Tiara smirked. “Put them in the Gun Club?”

The way 56 pulled on his face was downright comical, especially the way it stretched like putty and then snapped back into place.

“No!” 56 shouted over Cheerilee’s giggling. “This ain’t some after school dinner party- we’re about to jump into war here!”

“Sweetie, calm down,” Cheerilee prompted with an idle wave of her hoof. “This is adorable, really, but it’s just a friendly game of soccer.”

Something settled into 56’s eye that was hardly ever seen: a look of thoughtfulness. “Not the way she looked at me. Dash is comin’ to win so we’d best bring everything we got, ya get me?”

“You’re overreacting,” said Cadance. “Just take a deep breath and count to fuchsia. Relaaaax.”

“Yeah,” Applejack agreed. “This is prob’ly the last thing ol’ Rainbow cares ‘bout winnin’ anyway.”

~~~~~

“Decimate them,” Dash ordered, giving each of her teammates a stern once over.

Shining nodded. “Because that’s obviously called for, right? That’s my wife over there in case you’ve forgotten.”

It wasn’t that she’d forgotten, it was that she didn’t care. “Then now’s the time to earn cookie points for the rest of the year by giving her a beating the likes of which surpass even your dirtiest fantasies.”

“Wow.”

“Double wow,” Twilight said with a wing-rustling shudder.

It took a moment for certain scenes to quit playing out over 42’s minds cape but after she sent a mental ‘fuck you’ to her brain, she stepped up. “I agree with Dash. The only way to beat the opposition is to crush them. They’re not going to go easy on us and we’d be doing them a disservice to pull our punches as well.”

“But, darling, all you DO is punch.”

“Bite me, marshmallow ass.”

“That’s hardly an insult, dear.”

“And besides,” continued Shining before 42 could part her maw, “they have 56 as a team captain. Really, their first game plan is probably going to center around sexually harassing every plot here.”

While the others, even Dash, snorted at that plausible outcome, only 42 and 77 grew stoic, meeting each others eye almost fearfully. They knew… but they were forbade to say….

“But really, all games aside, let’s get ready to get out there and score some goals. I got a bet with Sptifire riding on this,” Dash said, clopping her hooves together and flaring her wings out to either side. “Let’s go team!”

“RAAAH!”

~~~~~

“…Holy shit.”

The swear fell from Tiara’s muzzle before she could stop it, but she wasn't reprimanded. Mostly because the others were just as flummoxed as she was.

Using a hoof, 56 erased the strategy he’d etched out in the dirt. “We all clear on the plan, right?”

“How did y’all-” Applejack paused, switching questions mid-sentence “-do ya think it’ll work?”

56 nodded. “Course it will. They probably think I’ll come up with some second-grade openin’ plan. This’ll catch ‘em guard, no doubt.”

“Annnnnd you’re failing my class because why again?” Cheerilee wondered, genuinely confused.

“Never mind that. Ya got the plan memorized, Flowerplot?”

“Well, yes I do, but-”

“Good.” 56 hoofbumped the soccer ball to Spike and started towards the center of the field again just as Dash’s side echoed a loud “Raaah!” “Let’s go show ‘em how we ball.”

No matter their bafflement, the others quickly fell in step with their captain, yelling as one, “Game on!”

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>Suckerpunch
"Spike"
'High Roller'

>You're certain there was nothing.

"Nope, this guy's paperwork checks out just fine. Not so much as a typo."

>So you mean to tell me he's a damn colt scout?

"Oh no, this guy has a disciplinary record a mild wide, but it's mostly just petty theft and going AWOL to visit a strip club."

>Then why's he here?!

"You're getting a tad excited about this..."

>I-sorry, this guy just rubs me the wrong way...

"He is a total dickhead, but you think that's why he hangs out down there with 32 like he does? Sure it's opposites that attract but misery loves company."

>Just...humor me, why's he here?

"His captain recommended he be sent here after hearing about the 'killer changeling' -I guess he meant 77- teaching you. I guess he wanted this Roller guy to shape up, shame he didn't know about that leave of absence."

>This can't be all, it just can't.

"Look, Punch, I don't know you all that well, but I think you're barking up the wrong tree here. As much as the guard needs to step up, and has stepped up-"

>The last guy who tried to be a hero ended up a pile of changeling shit.

"One, ew. Two, I'm only trying to say you're seeing things that probably aren't there, and they are, he's on the opposite side of the Princesses AND the A-Team. Short of him being Chitania in disguise, I don't think he'd be a threat even if he was what you said he was."

>So are you advising me to stop?

Spike sighs.

"No, I'm not, I'm telling you to that everyone is innocent until proven guilty. So until you get evidence, try not to do anything rash."

>Got it.

Punch sighs, leaving the room, his investigation once again hitting a dead end.

'Well hello there, my bro in forelegs.'

Punch's head jerked as he came face to face with High Roller, the chartreuse pegasus wearing his usual cocky and laid back smirk.

>You, what are you doing here?

'Simple, compadre, I'm here to speak to ya.'

>So you've learned about what I'm doing?

'Wasn't all that hard, what with ya running around, bucking down doors and shoutin' 'High Roller's a traitor, I just gotta figure out how!' Johnny Subtle you ain't.'

>So...what now?

'Now? I show you I'm on the level.'

>How?

High Roller grins and holds up two tickets in his wing.

'By giving you and your fine piece of bug butt-'

>We're just friends, Faust damn it!

'-an all expenses paid trip to Partyland! ...okay you'll have to pay for the train ticket and the food and...make that more one expense paid trip, but still, Partyland!'

>...how'd you get those?

'Buddy of mine works one of the rides, managed to get Sandwich to comp him a couple tickets for me. I was gonna surprise Tree-Tree with 'em but I figure I'd give 'em to you to show I'm not some kinda crazy infiltrator dude.'

>...what's the catch?

'Catch? No catch. Just wanted to give you a gift so you'd lose that edge.'

>...how do I know you don't want me out of the way to go for whatever you're planning?

'The bug, my mane -spelled m-a-n-e haha- man. Down in the dungeon. I'll hang with him all day long and he'll be my proof.'

>I'm...not entirely sold here.

'Look-'

Roller puts a hoof on Punch's shoulder.

'-I'mma piece of shit, okay? Daddy wasn't around and momma liked her some bourbon, and I got me a lovin' for the fillies. I've been in and out of disciplinary duties since I was a rookie, and every drill sergeant I've ever met has tried to force me outta the guard. But I didn't go, because as much as I love me some mares, I love this country just as much, and I'm not gonna quit on her...or the large amounts of tail this job gets me. So go take your bestie out to Partyland and have a helluva time, and maybe you'll get those benefits you've been hungerin' for since headbutt number one, eh?'

>I...alright, yeah. Hang out with 32, if he vouches for you, I'll quit digging in to you.

'Sounds good, pal...oh and be careful finding your boo, one of those weirdo cave ponies has taken a likin' to stallion ass.'

>I'll keep that in mind.

Suckerpunch takes the tickets, walking away, the beginnings of a smile on his face. Maybe he was wrong about the weird bastard from Las Pegasus.

Roller, for his part, was smiling too. The sweet smile of someone who just got someone else to swallow a line of bullshit hook, line, and sinker.
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>Rekulk
"Twilight"
'Vekir'
-42-

>-and so it is thus, Twience Princess! We wish for you to give us this gracious gift that will surely help bring peoples together!

"It does sound like an interesting project, I admit, though I have some qualms."

>Such as?

"For one, can you give me your word that you won't use these to harm anyone?"

Rekulk gasps.

>Twience Princess, that statement shocks and applause!

"I think you mean appalls."

>I have already eaten! We would never turn our weapons upon the ponies! Less so the family of Zhetri Tuuhl! Besides, how could mere suits do such things? They are glorified umbrellas, yes?

Twilight casually erases chalk schematics for something that was most certainly not powered armor.

"Yes, exactly."

>A Morlock's fighting is done with his skin bare, it allows for fleetness of hoof and clearness of mind. A suit would just get in the way, and besides, what would we fight on the surface where we'd need such things?

"Point, I'll start drawing something up, you said you brought two others?"

>Yes, my youthful sister and my elder friend. It was decrees by the head of metal!

"Sounds like you've got a some different body types I can work with...could you bring them down here."

>Of course! I shall find little Vekir first!

-Don't bother.-

42 enters, looking annoyed.

-She's been following around for almost a damn hour.-

Vekir wanders in, her head completely hidden under an oversized helmet.

'Your wisdom shall become apparent to me soon, oh Helmeted One!'

Rekulk shakes his head.

-I can't tell if this is better or worse than her trying to nuzzle my ass.-

CLONK!

'...hurraaaah...the shwimmy vishun of knowledge~!'

-The word you're looking for is 'concussion'.-
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>Cheerilee
"Applebloom"
'Sweetie Belle'
[Scootaloo]
~~~~

>You know, to be honest someone in detention is actually a little refreshing.

"FER YOU MAYBE!"

'Cheerilee? Walls?... WALLSWALLSWALLS!'

Causally rolling her eyes, Cheerilee unloaded a shotgun blast right into the claw starting to push it's way out.

>Sweetie, no yelling in detention.

[THIS IS ALL YOUR FAULT!]

>What did I just say?

[Seriously, Sweetie Belle, were you dropped!?]

'Hey!'

"Answer the question, Sweetie."

'No!... I don't think... how would I know?'

>No discussing infantile brain damage in detention.

"Then what can we- BEHIND YA'!"

Without even looking, she unloaded another round.

>Applebloom, one more outburst like that and you'll be coming back tomorrow.

"AH'LL BE GOOD!"

'How do you put up with this!?'

>What? Being a teacher? Oh, don't be silly! I love my job, really. Getting to teach little fillies and colts and help them grow is something that gives me joy on a level nothing else can touch... well, almost nothing involving 'touch'...

"..."
'...'
[...]

>...You'll understand when you're older.

[Sadly I understand it now...]

>I locked the closet door, nobody to blame but... my point is, while my job is stressful, yes, I still love it and wouldn't trade it for the world. Someday, you three are going to find jobs that will make you every bit as happy!

"Huh, Ah' guess that does sound ni- NNNNGGGH!"

>No, words, so I won't count that-

Another round into a worn slithering on the floor.

>-but good catch.

"So, ya'll ain't never gonna exorcise these things? Ya' like 'em as they are?"

>Oh lord no.

Seven rounds this time, each reloaded with perfect precision.

>Minute I figure out how to fix this, these fuckers are going back to hell permanently... don't tell anyone I said that.

[Let us go home and we won't!]

>...You know what? Sure, you look like you learned your lesson.

That's when goo started to seep though the floor.

>Now learn it very quickly out that doormoveMOVEMOVEVMOVE!
_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________

>Batmom
“Fleur”
‘???’
[???]
_________

>…and this one time he dropped a dish? Let me tell you, the face he pulled on me, that glassy-eyed, sad puppy-dog look? I couldn’t do anything but scratch him behind the ears.

“Oh yes, despite his regal demeanor, my Fancy is well adept at the art of manipulation through facial contortions. I swear, sometimes I think I give him too much freedom on the leash because it almost always works on me.”

>Tell me about it. And when he whines?

“Don’t even get me started on that, Glim’. I’ll have you know that I was only five minutes late with supper last night, and guess what he had the nerve to do?”

>Sit and wait like a good little colt?

“Ha! He sauntered right into the kitchen and started rubbing up against my hind leg!”

>No!

“Yes! He was just rubbing and whining… and kissing… and blowing gusts of warm breath up my haunches… and….”

>…and I guess dinner didn’t get made that night?

“Well, you know, when you’re faced with such insurmountable distractions, things have to be set aside for other… lucrative suggestions.”

>Of course. So how did the other, ah… suggestion work out?

“It worked itself out quite nicely on the kitchen counter. And then against the fridge. And then down to the cold, hard floor.”

>Damn.

“Yes, when my Fancy starts panting and whining, I’m really powerless to deny such a display.”

>I can relate. This one time, right? I was minding my own business, modeling some newly bought undergarments because, you know, a mare has to make sure that even through a pregnancy she has her shape.

“Certainly, certainly, go on.”

>So I slip into this frilled, hot pink thong and before I know it, I hear this rabid panting right behind me.

“A wild beast appears!”

>Might as well have been for the way he attacked me. And without warning, too! Why, I had half a mind to hoof him one.

“But you didn’t. Right?”

>What can I say, I’m a sucker for the wibble lip thing he does.

“Aren’t we all?”

The two mares shared a laugh together before continuing on, completely ignoring the two males seated in the room with them as they sipped from their glasses of wine and chatted.

The same two males who could do nothing but listen with some slight chagrin as tales of their more lewd exploits were thinly shared.

‘You know, seein’ them talk about us like that, like we’re their pets or something… it’s kinda hot.’

[’Tis a tad stimulating, I’ll agree.]

‘…’

[…]

‘So you whine too, eh?’

[Whatever gets her going gets me going as well.]

‘Well said, Fancy my man, well said.’

_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________

>Chrysalis
"Twilight"
~~~~~~

>'So then I found that Saturnia had been trying to ascend for a solid four years now, and she asked me how I made MY mother love me. When I pointed out my mother was, in fact, still alive, she kind of just stared blankly at me... I think she might be less intelligent than she looks, and she looks as intelligent as a plank of wood with a smiley face on it.'... Oh, Saturnia, I remember you... yeah, she's accurate, Saturnia was as dumb as a sack of bricks, no question. Bricks made of other, dumber bricks. She was nice, though, little flighty, but nice. Never tried to kill mom.

"...Yay?"

>Hey, that was really fucking rare. You know how many DIDN'T at one point try to kill her? I could count them all on my limbs.

"So... four?"

>I'm counting my wings, so six.

"Out of..."

>...a LOT.

"Point taken..."

>Something wrong?

"Just weird, isn't it? Everyone's convinced she's just some form made real of monster and death, but so far I've heard her grousing about sand getting in her holes, her mother cooking dragon hide wrong, hopes and dreams..."

>Nobody just starts out trying to wreck shit. Well, okay, except for Sciderella.

"Was she really that bad?"

>The fucking WORST. Even today, I'm glad she suffered before she died. That was a monster.

"Would you think that if she had a diary like this too?"

>All it would be filled with is recipes for how to boil stuff in acid properly.

"Just saying."

>...Oh! Shit, here's a good one. 'That annoying bitch Titania threw another rock at me today. I have no idea what her problem is, I don't even know her or her mother. She just randomly pops up and chucks shit at me. Is this normal? Is this how Changelings are supposed to react and I'm just defective? Every day, I wonder.'....Oohhhh, bad form.

"Why?"

>...Oh, shit, right, never told you that one. Uh... let's just say 'defective' is a bad phrasing right here.

"Because?"

>...Welll...
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>OH SWEET ANCESTORS HEART'S SO SPITEFUL IT ITCHES!
>It fucking itches it fucking itches oh fuck make it stop I CAN'T GET IT OUT AND IT ITCHES SO BAD!
>WHY DO WE HAVE THESE!? WHAT THE FUCK IS THE POINT OF HOLES IN OUR LEGS!? THAT'S JUST NOT STRUCTURALLY SOUND!
>FUCK YOU, MOTHER! STOP LAUGHING!
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>2
"Teacher"
'Students'
[???]
~~~~~~~

>HIIII! Okay, for my show and tell I-

'AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!'

>...Teacher? Everyone's screamin', could ya' tell 'em to stop-

"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"

>Oh, okay, problem. Thissin' is a problem.

"AHHHHHHHHHH!"

'AHHHHHHHHHH!'

"'AHHHHHHHHHHH!"'

>...

[...Should I come back later?]

>Ya' know, Arana, let's put a raincheck on this one.

[Oh... I made hats. NONEXPLOSIVE HATS, to be clear.]

"'AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"'

>...Think adding in that last bit made it worse.

[I see that now, yes.]

"'AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH"'
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>You want me to use my horns to dislodge something at the back of your throat?

"Yes, you have no idea how much this hurts or how difficult it is to get a hoof down there."

>You couldn't just use, a stick or something?

"I'll pay you, suck your dick, kill your most hated enemy or whatever else you may want as long as you stop asking questions and get this damn thing out of my throat."

>Deal, i'll show you the guy after we're done here, clumsy bastard ripped three of my teepee's this week.

"THANK you."

*Jaw unhinge*

>Oh-kay, was wondering how this would work and now i wish i didnt know.

"Juth urry uh ahrerry!"

>Alright, you're the boss lady with the smelly breath.

*Eye roll*

-HI MOM!-

*Jaw snap*

-Wow, his legs a twitchy twitching all over the place! Did you just break his neck?-

>MMMPH MMH MHPH

-Dibs on the rump!-
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>42
"Twilight"
~~~~~

>...

"..."

>...

"...Absolutely not."

>PLEEEEEEEEASE!

"..."

>...A-hem, I mean, Twilight, I implore you to reconsider. With such an ability, I would be far better capable of protecting my current residence.

"I am not building you a 'supersize' ray."

>COME ON!

"..."

>...I mean, I understand your concern, but I would ensure it was kept only to be used on my person so that any untoward individuals could not obtain it for themselves. Such an ability would prove most useful in your future search for the Titan Queen as well. In a battle against her, having another who could match her size would prove most useful.

"You'd be surprised, actually. Size is really not the biggest issue with her."

>I implore you to reconsider.

"Okay, 42? Even if I could make this, AND had total faith it wouldn't fall into the wrong hooves AND thought it would be perfectly safe to use on you AND had some way to make it portable enough you could strap it to yourself, I still wouldn't because I do not want you trying to fight her mono-e-mono, it did not end well for the last Giant Changeling who tried it."

>...what?

"No."

>PLEEEEEEEEASE!

"No!"

>FINE! WHATEVER! I DIDN'T WANT IT ANY-....

"..."

>...I mean, I am sorry to hear that, and it is most upsetting, but I will concede your right to choose your own creations, and I wish you well in all future endeavors of scientific nature or otherwise. Have a good day.

"...You're going to punch something, aren't you?"

>NO!

"..."

>...yes...
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Nc addition
>42
"SA"
~~~~

>HRMPH!

"...Are you sulking?"

>Shut up and focus!

"Focus on what? The hug? You're hugging me."

>THIS IS A GRAPPLE!

"A grapple. You are 'grappling' my chest."

>YES, NOW COUNTER IT!

"You mean hug you back?"

>NO! THIS IS A TRAINING SESSION!

"Ah. So, you mean 'Grapple' you back."

>EXACTLY!

"M'kay, just gonna totally not hug you, okay?"

>...Good work.

"Mmmhmm..."

>...Your form needs work, it needs to be lower and a tighter grip, I could easily escape.'

"Gotcha. Just gonna try and outlast your 'grapple', by the way, need to work on my stamina."

>Good work, glad to see you are staying in shape.

"..."

>...Thank you for grappling with me, Shiny.

"Anytime, punchbug."
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NON-CANON!
>Chitania
"???"
'???'
{???}
~~~~~

>Oh fuck, where did I end up this time!?

"WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU!?"

'Wolverine, that's no way to talk to a fellow mutant.'

>THE FUCK DID YOU JUST CALL ME!?

'Miss, you should be proud of who you are!... That aside, we need you to get out of here!"

>Why?

{NOTHING STOPS THE JUGGERNAUT!}

"Because that, horse breath!"

>You, I will get back to in a second. Did he just say nothing stops him?

'Miss, you've got to run! Once he gets going he's unstoppable!'

>...I can take him.

'WHAT!?'

"Ladies got guts, I like that."

'No! Don't do it! There's no way you can- oh wow she's fast.'

"About to hit him too..."

'...This is going to end we-'
~~~~~~

>WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED!?

'I... I think when unstoppable force met unstoppable force, you guys, uh... you broke the universe.'

"Damn it, Scott! Now we have to go back in time and fix it, AGAIN!"

'Every other week with us, isn't it?'

{NOTHING STOPS... the juggernauts heart. Marry me?}

>WHAT THE FUCK!?
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