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- >Day Out of Patience in Equestria.
- >You just finished your shift for the day.
- >The only remotely interesting thing that happened was a couple of colts stole candy from a filly.
- >You chased after them but they were too fast and disappeared into a crowd.
- >When you got back, the filly was gone as well.
- >All’s well though.
- >That saved you from the embarrassment of admitting that you let some perps escape from your hooves.
- >You’ll get them next time.
- >That doesn’t stop you from clenching your teeth.
- >You let them get away!
- >This is unacceptable.
- >You’re going to have to train even harder.
- >Who knows what kind of criminals ponies will become unless you stop them in their youth.
- >You shake your head in a poor attempt to push away those thoughts.
- >There will always be tomorrow…
- >You take a deep breath to calm yourself.
- >What this?
- >As you trot up to your locker you see a letter taped to the door.
- >It’s from the Royal Guard’s Academy!
- >You instantly snatch the sealed letter and rip it open.
- >The envelope falls carelessly behind you.
- “Dear Little Patience, thank you for your continued interest in serving with the Royal Guards.”
- >You can hardly believe it.
- >They never thanked you before!
- >You pull the letter closed and continue reading.
- “As you know, entrance into the Academy is highly competitive.”
- >You smirk.
- >Of course it is, that’s why you want to get in so badly.
- “Unfortunately,-“
- >Your heart sinks.
- >Good sentences never begin with that.
- >You steel yourself for the worst.
- “We regret-“
- >You crumple up the sheet.
- >Not again.
- >You slump down on the bench, and count the tiles.
- >This was your third try, and the last time the Royal Guards will consider you.
- >And a fourth?
- >You’ve heard those are always returned without even being opened.
- >What’s wrong with you?
- 1/12
- >Even that idiot Flash Sentry got into the guards and his arrest record isn’t even close to yours.
- >You’re always at the top of the leaderboard.
- >Maybe it’s just a delay.
- >They have too many applicants and need you to wait a month or two before you begin your training…
- >In your heart you know that’s not true.
- >They never have enough good ponies to protect royalty.
- >You sit in silence for a minute or two.
- >You’ve come too far to not read the rest.
- >A shaky hoof straightens out the letter.
- “We regret to inform you that your application was not accepted at this time. Thank you again for your interest. Signed… Prince Blueblood.”
- >You rip the letter apart.
- >Those jerks even went to the trouble of getting Blueblood involved.
- >He never reviews these things!
- >No.
- >He’s the one who has kept you from your dream.
- >Ever since you tried to put him away for drinking before the opening ceremony.
- >He knew that nopony is allowed to have a drink before Princess Celestia has the first sip.
- >Everypony knows that!
- >It’s common courtesy!
- >You slump over again feeling completely dejected.
- >It wasn’t supposed to happen like this.
- >You were supposed to make your family proud by following your father’s hoof prints.
- >”Little Patience?”
- “What!?” You yell a little too quickly.
- >The pony takes a step back in surprise.
- >It’s your boss, the commissioner.
- “Oh, sorry about that…”
- >He frowns but otherwise ignores your response.
- >”Patty, can I see you in my office?”
- >You roll your head annoyed at his timing.
- “Of course,” you say as you get up.
- >He waits for you for a moment before turning.
- >His office is only a few doors down from the lockers, so it takes no time at all.
- >The commissioner waits for you to pass him before slowly closing the door behind you.
- >”Have a seat,” he offers by waving his hoof at the couch.
- 2/12
- >He sits on the easy chair next to you, and not behind his desk as he usually does.
- >The commissioner shifts uneasily before he begins.
- >”How are you doing?”
- >You look at him stunned.
- >He can’t possibly just want a polite conversation.
- “I’m fine.”
- >He taps his hoof twice on the coffee table before continuing.
- >”I heard about your application.”
- >Oh, he’s just trying to make this easier.
- “Yeah, I didn’t get in again.”
- >The older pony nods to show he understands.
- >”Not everypony is cut out for that kind of duty, Patty.”
- >You look up at your superior.
- “What did I do wrong? I have the best arrest record. I always get my pony.”
- >He starts to reach over to comfort you before thinking better of it.
- “This was my third time. I can’t apply again.”
- >”Well, I’m sure-“
- “Which isn’t right,” you interrupt. “I deserve to be given a chance.”
- >He clears his throat.
- >”They don’t just look at your performance. I understand they also take other things into consideration.”
- “What else is there to think about!? I’m the best policepony in town.”
- >Your superior just frowns, as if he is unsure of what to say.
- “This is… this is…” you look for the right word, “poop! And you know it!”
- >The commissioner visibly cringes.
- >”Such language.”
- “It was Blueblood wasn’t it!? He’s had it in for me ever since-”
- >”You’re not a nice pony, Patty. There. I said it.”
- >You scoff.
- “I’m not nice?”
- >”I’m trying to talk to you and you just spout profanities and yell.”
- >He turns away from you, and you respond by crossing your forelegs.
- >”Ponies don’t like that,” he pouts.
- >You shift uncomfortably.
- “I only act this way because nopony listens to me unless I make a point.”
- 3/12
- >”That’s the thing. You don’t always have to make a point. Sometimes you just need to let things go.”
- >He lifts his head to look at you.
- “Look, I can be nice.”
- >You force a smile.
- >It’s the hardest smile you’ve ever made.
- >He looks disappointed.
- >”It’s too late for that, Patty. I have gotten too many complaints about you.”
- “What?”
- >Your superior gets up.
- >”I think you need a break from all of this.”
- >Oh no.
- “You’re firing me?”
- >He lets a single laugh escape.
- >”No. You’re not being fired… It’s just that I think you can do a lot of good in…”
- >Not Ponyville.
- >Anywhere but there.
- >”Ponyville.”
- >Poop!
- “But, but-”
- >”There’s no butts about it. You need to be in a place where you can relax a bit.”
- “It’s just a small town,” you protest. “What am I supposed to do there?”
- >He just shrugs.
- >”I don’t know. Just sit back and let the Elements of Hamony handle things.”
- >He trots over a puts a hoof on your shoulder.
- >”Think of it as a bit of a vacation.”
- >
- >
- >Two weeks later.
- >You’re sulking in your office.
- >Nothing interesting has happened since you arrived.
- >Well, you did think a package was stolen a couple of days ago.
- >The Mailmare, Ditzy Doo crashed into your office to report it.
- >As usual you sprung into action and tried to track down the perp.
- >Naturally you assumed it was one of the local colts who got dared to do it.
- >That’s the slippery slope they always fall down.
- >You rounded them all up for questioning.
- >Too bad for them, you only play the bad cop.
- >A couple cracked and admitted to stealing it.
- >One yelled, “I’ll tell you anything, just please stop.”
- >Turns out Ditzy just dropped it on a roof as she was doing her deliveries.
- >No wonder she has that name.
- >Of course you let them go, since their confessions were false, but hopefully they learned something from this.
- >Never go against the law.
- 4/12
- >To make matters worse, your office is an offshoot from the mail depot.
- >Apparently nopony thought a police department was important enough for it’s own building.
- >Your only cell, and you use that term very loosely, is a cordoned off alcove.
- >You’re not sure what the point of that area is really.
- >It kind of looks like they were making a hallway, and then decided that they didn’t actually need more rooms.
- >Either way, it will have to do.
- >“Little Patience?”
- >You know that voice anywhere.
- >It’s the mailmare.
- “Patty is fine, Ditzy Doo.”
- >You push around a couple of menacing drawings you made to make it look like you’re working.
- >The fictional ponies are all wanted for murder, aggravated assault, or whatever else you decided to draw that day.
- >”Oh, okay, Patty,” she smiles. “Are you staying late again, or can I lock up today?”
- >One of your hooves moves on its own to signal your annoyance.
- >It doesn’t really matter does it?
- “No, I think I’ll just grab some cider instead.”
- >This perks your friend up.
- >”Really? Can I tag along?”
- >You grab your detective hat, but leave your coat on the rack.
- “Sure, Ditzy.”
- >You move to lock your office, but think better of it and just close the door instead.
- >”I was starting to think you didn’t like hanging out.”
- >This makes you chuckle.
- “What made you think that?”
- >”Well,” Ditzy thinks as she locks the front door. “You just always work late is all.”
- >She offers you a smile.
- >”That must be why you were sent to protect us. You really like your work.”
- >You shrug.
- “I don’t mind it,” you lie.
- >You’d rather be making a difference instead of stuck in this one fountain town.
- >Ditzy ignores you and stares at the distracted human holding a cardboard sign.
- >It reads, “Will pay 10 bits for a cuddle.”
- >You shake your head in disgust.
- >”Ten bits would buy us two drinks…”
- 5/12
- >You shoot Ditzy a stern look.
- >This is clearly solicitation.
- >If you weren't off the clock you'd take him in.
- “Don’t say that. He’s just hoping to trick somepony into giving him some cuddles.”
- >You grab your baton.
- >The least you can do is get him off the streets.
- >If he acts up you’ll give him a good wallop.
- >That always makes him go home.
- “How’s business today, Anon?”
- >His eyes quickly turn to meet yours.
- >You watch as his jaw clenches and his lips form a sneer.
- >”Not so good, Patty.”
- >The baton spins in your hoof two times before it arrives firmly pointing at him.
- “Alright, you’ve had your fun. You don’t have to go home, but you can’t stay here.”
- >He looks at the clock tower.
- >”It’s not even six yet.”
- >You poke him once with your stick and lightning flashes in his eyes.
- “Yeah, but I’m not staying here all night to keep an eye on you.”
- >He looks over at Ditzy and she smiles at him.
- >This seems to calm the human, and he slowly folds up his sign.
- >The now small display easily slips into his suit pocket.
- >You put your baton away and trot on without looking behind you.
- >Part of you wants him to continue loafing.
- >That way you can finally give him the wallops he deserves.
- >The nerve!
- >Asking ponies for cuddles is just sick.
- >”Anon is so funny.”
- ”Hmm?”
- >Ditzy skips ahead of you before floating into the air.
- >”He’s like,” she explains with her now free hooves. “I’ll cuddle you,” she says sweetly.
- >Her other hoof replies in an angry tone, “I’ll cuddle you.”
- >The first hoof responds in a lover’s tone, “I’ll cuddle you~.”
- >The two hooves start cuddling in a strangely erotic motion.
- >Ditzy then erupts in laughter.
- “What does that even mean? You’re not making any sense,” you growl.
- >Why do you even put up with her?
- >”He’s just pretending, Patty. It’s all just a joke.”
- 6/12
- >She lands softly beside you.
- >You shake your head in disagreement.
- >The things he said when you confronted him were crazy.
- “The first time I met him, do you know what he said?”
- >”Mmmm, hello?” She asks.
- >This makes you smirk.
- “He said, ‘cuddling will let me go home.’ Naturally I said, ‘yeah? Where’s home?’”
- >Ditzy stops trotting to listen.
- “He gave me a confused look. After a moment he said, get this, ‘On the other side of the moon.’ And then he looked at me like I was the one who was crazy!”
- >Ditzy scratches her head.
- >”Like… from another planet?”
- >You nod.
- “Yeah, but I brought him back to earth,” you say as you swing your baton for emphasis. “Hard.”
- >Ditzy’s eyes open wide, but instead of answering she just moves ahead of you.
- >That’s all well and good anyway.
- >You’re tired of talking about the local nuisance.
- >As it were possible to travel through space with a few cuddles.
- >Even thinking about it for a moment is absurd.
- >You both enter the bar.
- >Well, calling it a bar is a bit of a stretch.
- >It’s more of a restaurant with a bar off to the side.
- >While the restaurant side is busy, the drinking area empty except for that lush Berry Punch.
- >She never bothers anypony, so you usually look the other way.
- >”We’ll have two lemon spritzers,” Ditzy orders. “It’s on me.”
- >You were more in the mood for a cider, but this should be fine.
- “Thanks.”
- >The pony quickly whips up two drinks and pours them for you.
- >You notice the tattoo on her foreleg.
- >A cloud with raindrops can only mean one thing.
- >She was in prison.
- >You watch closely trying to count the raindrops.
- >She was in for eight days.
- >You shake your head.
- >Still, if she was able to find a job afterward maybe she is reformed…
- >”Cheers.”
- 7/12
- >Ditzy holds up her glass and you awkwardly clink your glass against hers.
- >You both take a long sip.
- >It’s refreshing.
- >”Soooooo, hows work?”
- >You shrug.
- “It’s boring.”
- >Ditzy responds with a smile.
- >Doesn’t she know how to do anything other than that?
- >”My mom always told me that a day is whatever you make of it.”
- >You swirl your drink twice.
- “So, if I just pretend it’s fun then it will be?”
- >”Yeah,” Ditzy nods.
- >You look at your friend closely.
- >She doesn’t have a care in the world.
- >But she doesn’t have to keep the streets clean.
- >”What if you worked in the mailroom with me?”
- >This makes your laugh, maybe a little too hard.
- “Work in the mailroom? What would I do? Weigh packages?”
- >Ditzy’s eyes shimmer in embarrassment.
- >Poop.
- >The commissioner said you had to stop being so mean to ponies.
- >And here you are laughing at your friend.
- >Your only friend in Ponyville.
- “Uh… I’m sorry, Ditzy. I didn’t mean it to come out like that,” you lie.
- >She taps on her glass.
- “It’s just that I can’t see myself doing anything other than police work.”
- >”Oh. Why don’t you tell me about that then?”
- >Finally.
- >Something you can get excited about.
- >You spend the next hour telling stories about intrigue, and near misses back in Canterlot.
- >
- >
- >”Whoa, and they didn’t make you a Royal Guard right then and there?”
- “Well… They wanted me,” you lie. “But I wasn’t ready to settle down for guard duty just then.”
- >”That’s so cool.”
- >Ditzy looks at your with amazement.
- >For the first time in a while, you gave real smile.
- >Maybe if you just let things happen, then everything will be better.
- >”Don’t look now, but your friend is here.”
- 8/12
- “My friend?”
- >You turn your head slightly as if you were looking at the clock along the wall.
- >Sure enough, Anon is seated on the other end of the bar.
- >It’s only fits six seats, but thinking of it that way makes it sound more impressive.
- >Anon is one seat away from Berry Punch.
- >He looks around suspiciously before expertly sliding over so he is seated next to her.
- >”Hey, sweet thing,” he says.
- >Berry turns toward him and giggles.
- >”Hi.”
- >Anon makes a predatory smirk.
- >The kind where only half the face moves, and a jagged tooth is exposed for its prey.
- >Your ears perk up.
- >”Is it true what they say?”
- >She giggles and sways from side to side.
- >”What do they say?”
- >He leans in closer and asks in a low tone, “that Berries always taste sweet?”
- >Ugh.
- >What a tasteless way to hit on a mare.
- >She covers her face to hide her blush.
- >It’s clear that she doesn’t want this, but she’s too far gone to argue with the alcohol.
- >”Maybe~”
- >Anon holds his menacing pose over her, ready to strike at any moment.
- >He glances up, and his eyes meet yours.
- >Instantly his demeanor changes.
- >Your eyes exchange a thousand taunts and arguments.
- >>’Let her go.’
- >>’Make me.’
- >>’There’s only one way this is going to end, yeah?’
- >>’Why don’t you come over here, and we’ll find out.’
- >He breaks contact and looks back at his quarry.
- >”Want to get out of here?”
- >Berry rocks a bit before nodding in agreement.
- >You watch as they both get up to walk out the door.
- >He wouldn’t do anything, right?
- >As the door closes, you see him reach over to hold her.
- >Not tonight.
- >You get up, before jerkily stopping yourself.
- >A few bits get tossed carelessly on the bar.
- >You probably gave too much, but there isn’t time to count.
- 9/12
- >”Something wrong?”
- >You glare at your ditzy friend.
- “Everything.”
- >In a flash you’re out the door, and Anon has his arm over Berry.
- >She laughs in fear to relieve the tension.
- “Let her go.”
- >The beast stops in his tracks.
- >Berry takes a few steps forward, no longer in his clutches.
- >He doesn’t look at you, as if that would intimidate you.
- >A stiff breeze blows and his coat slightly billows.
- >”What do you want, Patty?”
- >You glance at the confused mare.
- >>’Get out of here. Run!’
- >”Can we help you, officer?”
- >You wet your dry lips.
- ”Get out of here while you still can, Berry.”
- >Anon turns slowly to face you.
- >His head is turned downward slightly, so the bright light behind him casts a shadow over his face.
- >”I don’t understand.”
- >You flex your muscles so you will be limber when you have to wallop the creature.
- >”I was just trying to walk Berry home,” he says through his teeth.
- >You ignore him.
- “All he wants are cuddles, Berry. He doesn’t care about you. He never has.”
- >She looks up at the one she thought was her protector.
- >”Is that true, Anon?”
- >He shifts uneasily.
- >You see his teeth flash for just a moment before being obscured again.
- >”I guess you could say that about any guy,” he counters.
- >Berry puts a hoof to her muzzle, now fully aware of the truth.
- >”But, we’ve known each other for what, a year now? Have I ever tried to cuddle you?”
- >She thinks it over, no doubt remembering many traumatic moments.
- “That’s enough, Anon. You’re coming with me.”
- >Berry staggers back.
- >”But who’s going to walk me home?”
- >Anon clears his throat.
- >”It’s alright, Berry. I’ll handle this, and then walk you home tomorrow.”
- >She looks annoyed, but quickly relents.
- >”Okay.”
- >You wait a few moments so she doesn’t have to see what happens next.
- 10/12
- “Are you going to go quietly, Anon, or are you going to make this interesting?”
- >He chuckles.
- >”You don’t have anything on me. I was just being helpful to a friend.”
- >You exhale sharply.
- “So that’s what you call it? Being helpful?”
- >You knew he was twisted, but it’s clear now that somehow his mental gymnastics make him out to be a good guy.
- >”What’s your problem with me anyway?”
- >You take a step closer.
- “I don’t have a problem with you. I have a problem with what you want.”
- >He presses his lips together.
- >”It’s the only way I’ll get home.”
- >You let out a single laugh.
- “On the other side of the moon? Don’t be ridiculous. No are you coming, or do I need to get the tickle stick?”
- >You flash your tazer to show him you mean business.
- >”That’s my line.”
- >You lunge forward with the tickle stick.
- >He somehow dodges you by side stepping and you hit the dirt beside him.
- >Your training kicks in and you cover your face to protect from his stomps.
- >Instead he steps back to let you get up.
- >He likes playing with his enemies.
- >His arrogance will be his downfall.
- >Again you swing twice and he jumps back.
- >The light pole behind him keeps him from retreating again, and you get him squarely in the gut.
- >”Aaagh,” he cries out.
- >He falls to his knees and clutches his chest.
- >You quickly holster your taser and get out your baton.
- >Giving a perp a wallop always makes you feel better.
- >You whack him twice before he shouts out.
- >”Alight! I’ll go!”
- >Bullies are always easy to cow.
- “You’re under arrest for resisting arrest!”
- >”For resisting? Those charges will never stick.”
- >Against your will your teeth clench.
- >You’re running out of patience.
- >There’s only one way to deal with trash.
- >Get in and start shoveling.
- “You’re, you’re a poophead, Anon!”
- >A few gasps erupt behind you.
- >You look up and a few ponies are poking their heads out of windows to watch.
- 11/12
- “Get up!”
- >Anon bare his teeth again, but he follows your instructions.
- “Go on.”
- >Now that you have an audience, you make a show of putting on his restraints.
- >He tests them, and you see his muscles under his suit jacket.
- >”I can break these cuffs.”
- >You take a deep breath.
- >In your heart you know that’s the truth.
- >With his freakish strength nearly anything is possible.
- “You can’t break those cuffs.”
- >You give him another wallop for good measure.
- >”Aaagh!”
- “Now get moving.”
- >You nudge him forward to show the other ponies you mean business.
- >
- >
- >A few minutes later you arrive at the station.
- >You walk him to his cell and remove the restraints.
- >He massages his wrists twice before facing the now closed velvet rope separating him from freedom.
- >As you walk to the front door he calls out to you.
- >”I’ll be out of here tomorrow you know. You can’t hold me for more than a day.”
- >You instantly stop.
- >He's right.
- >Resisting arrest in this case is flimsy at best.
- >Any judge would ask why he was being arrested in the first place.
- >”And I’m going to get cuddles to go home, one way or another,” he threatens.
- >He shakes the velvet rope violently.
- >You take a deep breath.
- “Yeah? But not tonight.”
- >Then you close the door.
- End part 1
- 12/12
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