World don't suck

Jeniffer, from an actual suicider(yes, i failed even at that): things can change, won't be easy and unfortunally the 'world' won't suck any less ever but things can get way easier once you unload- and that means caring less, don't expecting things from other and starting change... by changing yourself.
Also depending on case(and most probably) some medication- if your case involves deep depression that is an actual illness. Everybody can get depressed but deep depression or for too long (+genetic inclination) can 'bug' your biological capacity to replenish the balancing chemicals- meaning if thats your case you won't get out until you get balance from outside.

I will be more harsh because in such cases what we get from people is either indiference, antagonism or shallow happy words like its just something you could throw aside anytime with some motivation quotes or cat pictures. People outside such conditions don't get it- heck of the numerous professionals ive went to over the years almost half of then didn't get it either (yeah, even psychologists can be an ass in trully grasping this kind of shit).

Heres some tips to change things:

-Emotional maturity is a thing. No im not calling you childish, since ive suffered with my illness for many years i started reading all i could about it and related stuff- and truth is the majority of people have less emotional maturity then the try to show. While 'emotional quoeficient' is still a dubious concept and even more flawed as measurent then IQ(both inteligence and emotions are more complex then a single score) at least its some form of measurement- and early research shows pretty shitty EQ compared to IQ as the norm.
  Part of maturing it is trying to step back a little to question it but theres no sure way to do it rather then being conscious you need more of it, questioning how you react to some things, time and sheer experience- the more one lives (varied experiences and being punched, not age) the more you get *if* you think about it. People that always do and react the same way every time they face X aren't improving it at all.
   I don't know whats your age but if you're bellow 21 then i have some good news. Biologically theres some stuff in the brain that finishes fully developing around 17-21 range (it varies from genetics). I won't go into details also because im not a professional but both judgment and emotional maturity is affected by that...
...meaning, if thats your age range then chances are you're not fully armed to deal with it all yet. The good news is that it will get easier past 22.
Underage or not patience is a big deal in this regard.

-To change change. I know it sounds like bs rethoric but this one is true. Don't expect people around you to change for you (the exception is rare- strong friendship or love aren't easy to find), first because the majority of people don't ever change once they settle with a persona (generally around the 'coming of age' ), second because the majority don't care (nor should they, will get there in a moment) and chances are the people who care about you don't understand what you're going through, how to reach and or how to help you (probably all three). The reason most people don't care is simple- they have their own lives, troubles, insecurities and so on (plus a huge deal are assholes) to even pay attention. I forgot the exact number right now but scientists even found a number of how many relationship connections humans are *capable* of dealing with and trully caring- and its something around a handfull, 20-40 tops, and that includes those people we awknowledge as not really close. Btw thats the cap maximum- most people care/pay attention a way smaller number.
And we're included. Im certain you pass around lots of people full of troubles that you never noticed or cared- and chances are you as everyone else failed to understand or get it when some of those tried to reach out. Thats part of our flaws and damn do we have many of those.

All that is to say change needs to come from you first. If you tried to reach for help 1 or 2 ways and nothing changed it isn't doing those for 1000th time that will wield a different result. Thats true not only about reach but everything- how you live your life, how you think, how you react, even your dreams and expectations. I won't go into details about my specifics but from setting undoable goals/expectations to even how i phrased some stuff had freaking huge impact in how things turned out for me. Ive made my goal to change by experimenting- different aproachs, outlooks, expectations, even life and career plans...
Point is: i actually did that. I went through a phase of shifting behaviours on purpose. Did some bad decisions (but they didn't kicked me really bad cause i was already at botton anyway) but made good ones, stuck with those, tried some more... and things got better. Heck even the way you talk about your problens, when, with whom or if you talk about then at all change things- and btw that increases the number of people that start caring.

-When you try to reach out or change forget about your issues for a moment and try to focus on other people(their problens included). In your state (and mine) we become a cesspoll of negativity and that pushes people away- most can't withstand it, most that want to try simply fail at it. Negativity is even contagious (trully, theres some amazing stuff about group behaviour... forget it, im just a enthusiast on the subject).
I know we can't help but feel it until we climb upwards but spilling it at every chance definetly won't help. DON'T SWALLOW IT EITHER- find some people or even online community to put it all out. Point is do it just some times, try to think when it would be proper to do it and remenber it tires and even hurts people (even more so the ones that trully care).
Hiding it all in is the path to true suicide.

-Suicide: reason ive talked so much about reaching out is 1) It trully helps getting help/reaching out 2) Not reaching out is what most leads to suicide (pretty much all non 'passional' cases- you know, the slow burn thinking about it) 3) You showed is what you need most- both by making this post and mentioning your previous suicide outing.
Good news: you're not rock botton yet; The majority of people that think about suicide and show it aren't deep into that dark end of doing it yet. Its a natural last resort subconscious thing to trying to reach out for help, like firing a flare or waving a flag in the sea of darkness. Bad news too much on it without changing can lead to actually doing it- but damn, we're talking a long long time of utter crapness and no one listening to get there (years and years).
The most risky suiciders (and the majority that does it) are the ones silent about it- that trully gave up even trying to get help or letting out anything. Unfortunally the majority of those end up dead for this very reason. I was in this deep end- i wasn't even going to write anything, i waited my closest parents to travel so no one could 'find me in time'. I ended up writing only 'sorry' in a post-it. I didn't knew i would grunt so much with my improvised cocktail, a silent day and insistent neighbour and i woke up in the hospital, thankfully. At the time i didn't regret it (only my choice of dying) but nowadays i can't thank enought that lady.

More good news: you're still at the point where shuning off out of it can be done simply pushing the idea aside. Heres a good reasoning: don't trade a chance of better times (even 1%) for a 100% rate of shit. If you're atheist theres fucking nothing at the other side and if you're not then you will know trully shit and despair at the other side. Part of what helped me put the idea aside when i started 'recovering'(not trully at that point) was looking foward to little stuff. Even the next season of game of thrones or the next tasty meal. If you're thinking about it again just remenber that. Also if you're trully convinced no one cares and everyone sucks (spoilers: its a fallacy btw, self defence mechanism) then killing yourself won't mean shit for anyone and you will miss the fate of the starks. Care a bit less about all else, it helps.

-Care less. World won't change anytime soon if ever. Having that dreamed carreer with a good paycheck doesn't actually mean shit all things considered. Having that particular love interest or friend way less with i don't even know anymore how many billion people all around. At the end of the day what matters is feeling good and relaxing, also having a sound night of sleep. Im 30 now and im thankfull that i could take one good thing from 15 years of utter shit-  getting a grasp of what trully matters and the whole happiness thing. Most people i know young and old don't. Whatever your expectations are theres no particular paradigm of happiness that reaching mean good not reaching it means bad. NONE. Heck i have more accomplished friends asking me how to get better or so cool with everything. My paycheck is currently low, im not working with what i planned to but im now closer to friends, happy and even brewing side projects i wouldn't expect i would ever do.

Anyway:
Lower expectations, caring less. Plus people who don't care about you and true arseholes- you're just wasting your time, energy and happiness even thinking about then, much less caring.

-The world sucks: i changed my mind about that. Also each day i discover how much worse mankind is, from politics to everybodies heads- still i found value in it. Took some time. But i won't go into that because what each one values varies- before that i got better by a simple outlook at life- if everything sucks and is worthless then fuck then, i will try to enjoy it my way. If everyone sucks then i also sucks so whats the point to even getting mad at it? Just fuck all, wisthle, do something exciting for a change, shrug your shoulders and move on.
Plus the world doesn't actually sucks, its how society 'organizes' itself that sucks. I like to call it the 'system'- and it isn't just economics, politics and so on. Every single  societal construct sucks in some way(even family to a point) and creates this enviroment where everyone have their heads way up their asses and doing nothing or being jerk can be rewarded. Fuck all of it. Get out of the box- if this isn't good for you then why care to conform? Fuck it all, i can sign below that line. Now you only need to act on this rather then shout it out of frustration for wanting it not to- care less, trully.

-Most of your expectations are wrong. Start assuming that, move on from then. Most 'ideals' we get around us of sucess and whatnot are all bs.
Its all part of this painted construct people keep on repeating and reinforced that is just a image far from reality. When we talk sucess, family, love pretty clear images come to mind- that commercial happy family, plenty of bucks in your pocket, good looks, etcetera etcetera.
The only part of it that is true is that it makes you look better and happy to others. The way things are money and looks help you get places easily (doesn't equal happiness, but their path is way easier) but a minority have the luck of having that easily and everyone else pass their lives runing behind trying to reach that same kind of target with different degrees of success. Most of then don't enjoy life half of what they could from all the energy and pressure chasing and mantaining those standarts.

Im a man so what i will write next won't resonate as much to you but can ilustrate: the first time i scored a hot chick meant a lot to me at that moment- because i wanted to so much only. Some 'friends' made signals and congratulated me afterwards, it felt good and my self steem got a boost for some time and that was it. Didn't really added nothing to my life and the sex wasn't bad but far from the best. Btw i gained way more with another chick, chubby, socially awkward like me, bullied as the 'ugly duck' when she was younger. Our time together meant a lot more to me- also the sex was much better (also because emotions).
From another angle: i was pursuing a carreer really hard. I studied tripple then my peers, my performance showed promise. Had i had good networking (socially awkward here) and free time i would have scored a job before leaving university or even suceeded with something my own. But i never had cash, had to live under crap conditions far from school, barely had time to complete my assignments trying to eat and such (plus my perfectionism fucked me).
I had a nervours breakdown. I had to drop it to retake it later. My hair started falling out, my health overall wasn't good and heck i know i screwed my aging down the line with how little sleep i got (side tip: don't fuck your sleep. Your older you will thank you).

Im not where i want jobwise. I still have places i want to go and things to try. BUT goddammit now i know that kind of pressure isn't what i want- and if had 'suceeded' back then i would still be runing, working overtime and whatnot. I would have better suits, a nice car, perhaps be going to fancier places but still runing behind something i would never reach and don't trully enjoying my time here.
Reason is: you will never reach 'i did it!'. You will never stop with your arms back of your head looking satisfied at everything around you like sucess or happines is this station you only need to reach and stop there. I had to fuck up really hard to realize i could enjoy more any and everything and run less. I have less money in my pocket now but goddammit im enjoying things much more- and even if i don't improve i will be getting some more money down the line if i stay this course.

I won't lie to you, i want more and im planing how i can organize and act to get there- but im not under pressure anymore. Im not afraid of failing at it to the point i will be cool with it if i never reach it. I don't expect things to go any certain way or fall on my lap but curiously things started falling on my lap once i stopped looking so hard for then or being so frustrated of not having then. Also ive already been at rock botton so things can only improve.
And most and foremost: being jobless, having to go back to my parents house, away from my few true friends and single got a lot easier without getting mad at it.

Guess what: life will be always throwing shit at you. Let it fly by. Walk covered in shit. If everyone punchs you punching yourself only makes it worse, and getting frustrated, mad, sad and angry about it won't help or change anything- it only makes it worse. Its a spiral effect of being more hopeless and taking more shit- its the equivalent of savoring the shit.

Also one last thing: forget the past. Don't go back to all the bad moments you failed or people failed with you. You will just relieve all the bad emotions for... what? Theres no fucking gain from it.

All i said is pretty hard to do. Theres no easy way about it. Fact is these tempesting moods and toughts only sap your strenghts to react. So dumb those feelings, throw these toughts aside, get medication and start to truly change how you act. Try to do things differently, react differently, etctera. Meanwhile enjoy game of thrones or some steam games without a care in life. It get smoothier afterwards and progress will come easier. Make no mistake it will keep being hard- but once you unload you stop sapping yourself and facing challenges and the shit around you is better from above then shrugged at the bottom mad at it.

From a random anonimous over the internet that doesn't know you. Not everything suck. Good things, moments and peoples are like finding a needle in a haystack but you're surrounded by billions of haystacks. Just go throught the motions and you find some needles, those are the important ones.