4chan University - Chapter 2

>Be Seamus
>you've been lounging most of the day organizing and listening to records
>It's 8pm, an hour before Lance heads to the party
>You get up and leave your room
>You wonder if Conrad is still going
>maybe you can talk him into explaining Speed Force to you
>Your other next door neighbor's door is cracked open
>/mlp/
>you knock, being polite is the least you can do
>"come iiiiiiinnnnnn"
>It's a female voice, but at least this one is your age
>You step in, and are instantly overwhelmed in a flood of pastel colors
>Ponies. The room is wall to wall with small colorful equines.
>The girl sitting on the floor is wearing a fedora, scarf, white shirt, and blue jeans
>she's playing with several figurines
>You spend several moments taking in the room
>"So are you my next door neighbor? The one playing the sad music?"
"That would be me, Seamus."
>"I'm Emily."
>She gets up and enthusiastically shakes your hand
>"Oh it's wonderful to make friends. Here, have a pony."
>She hands you a grey figure holding a cello.
>"That's Octavia. She's a house musician for Princess Celestia."
"She plays the cello with magic?"
>"No silly *giggle*, just with her hooves. She's an earth pony. They can't use magic."
>Fascinating
>You inspect the pony for a few moments and put it in your pocket.
"So you collect My Little Pony merch?"
>"Yeah, when I'm not watching the show, writing fics, arguing about the show online, or drawing pony art."
"You really like ponies, don't you?"
>"It's the only thing I've ever been good at."
>The awkwardness is heavy and permeating
>She sees you're nervous and adds
>"Are you going to the party tonight?"
"Is that the only thing to do tonight? You're the fourth person to ask me."
>"I guess so. This is college after all. I'm going over with my brother Conrad."
"Conrad is your brother? I met him earlier."
>"Yeah but you wouldn't know it. Dude has no respect for my craft."
>Man doesn't like My Little Pony. Film at 11.
"As much as I enjoy hating everything that regular people like, I guess I'll go."
>"Sweet! We'll come get you when we go."
"Cool, I'm gonna go wander for a bit."
>As you leave her room, you see a girl carrying a milk crate full of books
>As she opens the door, one falls off the top of the stack
>you rush to grab it for her as she closes the door
>House of Leaves
>you knock on the door
"Hey, you dropped your book."
>she opens it
>the ghost of David Foster Wallace appears
>You hand her the book
>she scowls at you
>"Have you ever read it?"
"House of Leaves? NO, but I have the companion album by Poe. I'm Seamus by the way."
>"Read it. Come back to me when you're done."
"Uh okay. Unrelated question, when do you go on?"
>she stares
"I mean the band, when do you go on? You're with the E Street Band right?"
>more staring
"YOUR BANDANNA. MAKES YOU LOOK LIKE. THE GUITARIST. FROM THE E STREET BAND. I AM MAKING FUN OF YOU!"
>nothing
"Okay, cool, well I'm gonna go read this. Your name was?"
>door slams
"Yeah, I am smooth as fuck."
>walk back to your room
>start reading House of Leaves
>you hear Conrad next door
>You get up and examine yourself in the mirror
>plaid shirt, corduroy pants
>could be worse
>walk out and run into Conrad along with a few other people you haven't met
>"You coming to the par-tay bro."
"Provided you don't do that again, sure."
>"Right."
"So are we ready to head over?"
>"Got one more guy coming"
>Suddenly, voice appears behind you
>"Dr. Conrad, I'm CIA"
>oh good lord
Emily chimes in
>"He wasn't alone."
>Not you too
>a flood of spaghetti rushes past you as they complete the scene
>"Lotta loyalty for a hired gun."
>new guy points a finger gun at you
"Or perhaps he's wonder why you would shoot a man before throwing him out of a plane."
>you put zero effort into the line
>"Okay, he's cool. I'm Trevor."
"Seamus."
>you shake hands as the group moves towards the stairs.
>you get outside and start walking towards Red Dorm
>When you get close, you see two figures standing on the doorsteps
>you remember the girl telling you about a password, but you cant remember what it is
>walking up, one of the figures wearing a wrinkles black suit stops the group
>"Answer, and the party is yours to attend."
>what was that password?
>you look the man over and see something red on his arm
>a red arm band
>"How many lives were lost in the Holocaust."
>the group freezes
>god fucking dammit