January 9th, 2018 Blog

I haven't blogged in awhile, so maybe it is a good time to blog.


Well mentally and emotionally I am getting to the good range, but not quite yet.

I have a lot less worries than before, my therapist told me to not get too close to people so that I won't get emotionally drained by things completely out of my control.

So far I been taking my therapist advice, I feel like I only really talk to like 3 people online now and so far I been able to be open with all of them.

Mika, Marie, and Summer are the people I tend to talk to the most, I like talking to them and hope I can still talk to them in the future.

No matter what I will keep my friendship with Marie and I will keep improving my friendship with Mika as well.

Honestly for awhile someone that I was once really close to kept telling me bad things about Mika, but I feel like I kept my prejudgment of her to the minimal.

Glad I did that, because Mika is honestly a really nice person to me and I feel like she likes me a lot now, I welcomed her pretty fast and I would never want to come between her relationship with Marie.


In other news, the year started out shit to be honest, but this week is much better than last week.

On the first of this year I went into it with very little sleep and was messaged by someone that I didn't want to hear from, that caused me a lot of stress and fucked up my week.

Even before both of those I knew my week would be stressful, because I saw the psychiatrist on Thursday and I was worried about that appointment due to the time before when I saw her I was cut by Lisa so I was worried how she would think I am doing.

So far I am not taking any antidepressants and that is swell for me.

I have made my status on Discord be the red busy icon so that I wouldn't panic when I get notifications, because last week every time I heard and saw the notifications go off I would get mini panic attacks.

I am trying my best to decrease as much stress as I can decrease and if that means not talking to certain people I rather not hear from then so be it.

Last week I ordered a Nintendo Switch, it was really spur of the moment, but I am glad I ordered it, because after I got it I was able to find something to do to keep my mind occupied from overthinking and in turn keeps me a lot more relaxed.

I think if I didn't order the Switch I most likely would still feel a lot of anxiety and worries about being messaged from a certain person.

I don't want to even use the name of the person anymore, because I rather not think about them at all due to they being the person I put a lot of my emotions in and getting really drained from it all.

Glad I don't really talk to that person, because I feel free and able to truly just be myself again due to not trying to impress anyone and get them to be interested in me.

I draw everyday and been drawing everyday for awhile now and I am glad I started that thing, sometimes I really have no idea what to draw though.

In a way I can draw some of the talks I do with my alters and be able to express myself more and even though I doubt many people see my comics I am still happy and will still do them daily.

I really need to start writing stories again, I only know of one thing to write and that is a continuation of the last story that I wrote.

However it has been awhile since I wrote the last story so writing a continuation might not have the same feeling as the original and of course my emotions have changed since when I wrote it.


I don't care if anyone reads this or not, but whatever I felt the need to blog. :) Meow. Raven My Sweet Raven, Currently Listening to Alice Cooper Poison.