Terrorism

>going to see The Dark Knight alone
>would go with my family but they think I'm dead
>cant buy tickets or food because I'm legally dead
>try to sneak in using my stealth skills
>my cape gets caught in the door
>ARK security officer catches me
>asks me to remove my cape and cowl
>put on my low growling badass voice so that he is intimidated
>tell him that it is my burqa and as a woman of islam I cannot allow a man to see me without it
>instantly realize that I should have put on a womans voice instead
>because of my badass growly voice he mistakes the word islam for bomb
>he screams into his radio THERES A TERRORIST IN THE BUILDING AND SHE HAS A BOMB!!!
>I run into the theater hoping the darkness will hide me
>it's one of the scenes where Batman is in that big white room with all the florescent light panels which illuminates the cinema
>group of african american gentlemen see me and one screams GODDAMN YO DIS CRACKA CAME DRESSED AS MUFUGGIN BATMAN DIS AINT HALLOWEEN WHITE BOY
>this British guy with scales that I know recognizes me and shouts WOT THE BLOODY ELL YA FOKIN PLAYIN AT YA NOB ED RIGHT YA BUNCH A WANKAS FIRST GEEZA TO DO IN THIS BLOODY BENDA GETS A PLUM O DOSH GET STUCK RIGHT IN LADS
>everyone in the theater tries to assault me
>I try to throw down a smoke pellet to do my disappearing trick
>accidentally throw my spaghetti that I smuggled in the pockets of my cape at my own feet
>slip on it and fall over
>everyone starts kicking me and laughing at me
>elite counter terrorism unit shoots open the doors and joins in kicking me and laughing at me
>call up my only ally for help
>she's hacked into the security cameras in the theater to watch and is laughing at me too
>have to think fast
>see a neckbeard also wearing a cape awkwardly trying to sneak out of the theater during the commotion
>due to my rigorous research on going to the movies alone I know why he is trying to leave
>whip the prehensile edges of my cape around the wasteband of his pants which I pull down
>torrents of liquid shit erupt out of his anus all over my attackers and I
>pull with all my might on my cape and use the flow of diarrhea to slide along the floor out of the theater
>everyone mistakes the neckbeard in the cape for me and beats him to death
>cellphone videos of this incident are beamed around the world and it becomes so widely known that it is included as the canon conclusion to the comic book about me
>watch through my son's window as he reads the final issue of his favorite heroes comic
>he bursts into tears
>I burst into tears
>neighbors call the police and I get sent to jail for peeping into a little boys bedroom in the middle of the night
>the other prisoners find out who I am but dont even bother to attack me they just laugh at me non stop
>they even laugh in their sleep so I am never not being laughed at
>get a letter from my arch nemesis Chess who tells me this was all a cunning masterplan engineered by him to defeat me
>mfw