Session #1 [Spontaneous World Exercise] 5 Minutes Each

Two Words talked about: Fork and Phone
So as I'm sitting in the kitching eating meatballs with a fork, the phone suddenly rings and I go up to it and ask,
"Who is this?"
The person replies, "This is the IRS, and I'm afraid you owe us quite a lot of money for having so many forks within your basement."
Puzzled on whether or not this is a real call or not, I decided to go to with the flow, and then increased the volume of the phone and asked,
"How will I be able to relieve my debt then?"
The IRS individual stated,
"You're going to have to make several calls to the companies you have yet to pay properly to. "
I respond,
"Alright, but how will that alleviate any troubles I have with you guys?"
He responds back,
"Well, I can't really give you more information other than the fact that you just need to do what we suggest you to do in order to prevent you from losing your home, and everything dear to you."
Grinding my teeth and chewing the last meatball stuck on the fork, I slammed the phone down in complete rage. I went over the sink and looked at the window, and decided to put my fork on to this window to see if it's really fake or genuinely made from stainless steel.
Turns out this form is really just copper and brass, nothing really too special, and it's awfully concerning how I could've just hanged up the phone instead of smashing it in a rage fit. I look over to the person at the dining table and realized I scared her a bit.
"What's wrong?" she asked.
"The IRS just stated I owe them a large amount of debt in taxes because I didn't pay sufficient cash to the companies I bought these forks from." I replied.
"You couldn't even manage how to pay the money you owe to those companies that just sells forks?" She asks.
I close my eyes real quick and realized how foolish I was to not pay all the money necessary to prevent this issue with the IRS. Now I have to work double shifts to pay this off.
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Topics: Plate & Rhino
I'm looking down on my plate once more, wondering where in the world I'll be doing 5 years from now. I gaze upon this shiny plate, contemplating my life on what to do next.
Poker?
Chess?
Badminton?
Tennis?
Suddenly, a rhino appears out of nowhere. It has a milky violet skin, and has wrinkles all over its face and body. It looks like it's not here to harm me, so I asked the Rhino,
"Hey Rhino, mind telling me why the fuck you ran into my fucking house you dumbass?"
It replied,
"Well you see, not many Rhinos like myself can just ram people's house all will-nilly you know. This takes exception skill and the right amount of force so that our horns don't get fucked up, Thank you very much."
I replied,
"You know what Rhino, you're right, You're very welcome! In fact, I want to reward you with this plate of mine, it's the only China plate I have, and I think you deserve it!"
The Rhino replies back,
"Oh my, no one has ever given me a gift before! This means so much to me!"
I casually walk up to the Rhino, gently petting the top of its head as it continues being exciting that I gave my last China plate to it.
"You're not such a bad human after all! More generous than the other people's houses I've rammed into." It said.
"Oh, really? I guess I must be special huh Rhino?" I asked.
It replies,
"Yep."
"So Rhino, do you have a name?" I asked
"Jacob." It replied.
"No fucking way, I remember a guy named Jacob as well! Good guy, but a little on the wild side. Right now he's in Russia trying to find the cure for cancer!" I told the Rhino.
"What the fucking shit! I guess I'll know which building to ram next!" said the rhino.
"Oh you!" I said in playful gesture
"Bye!"
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Topic: Chicken and Chocolate

So as I'm standing here in Charlie's Chocolate Factory, just casually pressing buttons ons the Hershey's Chocolat swirls, I begin to notice a loud noise outside. Since this is my second shift, I can't really find anyone to fill my position for me, so I'll just have to pretend like I didn't hear anything.
Then Johnny Depp comes out of nowhere, actually scratch that, it's fucking RAMBO. He's asking me,
"Hey yo, you get that chicken yet?"
I reply gracefully,
"Sir, we have no reports on the chickens as yet."
"Well, do you want to know how to catch a chicken?" He asked.
"Dude, you don't even know!" I said.
"Great, let's pack up and go, and don't worry about your shift, I'll compensate for it fully!" He stated.
"You are the fucking best boss EVER" I replied back.
Suddenly, we're teleporting through blackhole of impending doom, and we're now on top of the Statute of Liberty.
"Okay, so where's the chicken?" I Asked.
"Uhhhhhhhhhhh. hummmm....uhhh., wrong switch give me a sec." Rambo Said.
I become puzzled on his ability to locate us to a proper training facility that allows one to augment their skills in chicken catching.
"Hey, an idea just came to mind, why not just play Resident Evil: Darkside Chronciles with Jill and Steve?" I asked.
"Hmm, but are you sure that's going to be a good excuse for your chocolate job position?" Rambo asked.
"Well Sherlock, you are my boss after all, so I guess the only person that seems practical to ask that question is towards you." I stated
"Don't you give me that sarcasm!" Rambo stated.
"Dude, whatever, fuck you, and fuck these chickens, and FUCK THIS CHOCOLATE!" I screamed with overwhelming joy.
I jump off the State of Liberty, and I live. The END.
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Topic: Hamster & Giraffe
As I'm going through random episodes of Hamtaro, I am this close from gouging my eyes out on the pure naivete of this show. I can't even fathom while I'm stilling watching it after all these years of having to deal with Toonami ending. It's almost as if they decided to just troll us completely!
Hell, as long as Toonami came back to its prime, I wouldn't care at all if Hamtaro was part of its lineup, because who wouldn't want to see a bunch of shit hamsters rolling about and meeting random animals like a Giraffe named Bob right?
But we all know Bob is just an unlucky number, and like Mitch Hedberg said, "B" is like a scrunched together "13," which clearly means you're in some fucking bad luck. Prepare yourself, for a Girafe is about to poke its head through the window.
The giraffe, this little fucker thinks he can go through poking around people's windows huh? I guess he hasn't heard the fact that you shouldn't be going around putting your head into other people's holes.
"Ha ha, very funny human," said the Giraffe.
I literally shit my pants on this Giraffe talking, you have to be fucking kidding me.
"Dude, you can talk?" I asked.
"No shit sherlock, more reason for me to poke my head through the rest of the windows!" the Giraffe said.
I desperately screamed,
"NO! I JUST GOT THOSE POLISHED FOR GOODNESS SAKE!"
The giraffe ends up crying, realizing how pathetic it truly was.
"I remember the last time I tried to poke my head into the wall, and I accidentally ate someone's Hamster." It stated.
"You----you---ate teh fucking hamster? YOU CRUEL AND COLD BEAST, DIE NOW!" I screamed as I flinged my sword through its heart.
"Wait, how do I even find this fucking giraffe heart yo?" I asked myself.
What.
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Jesus shows up with bread, and I'm wondering where in the world did he summon it at this time of day. Especially Mondays are clearly one day after Sunday, the day of his rest. I contemplate more on this entity that claims himself to be Jesus, spreading crumbling pieces of bread like fucking McGyver.
He screams with joy, and as he goes through this intense screaming, random rabbits come out of his mouth.
I wondered to myself,
"Oh, so that's how he turns water into wine. Same principle and it comes from the same source! Nicely done Jesus!"
Not questioning what I just stated, Jesus is wielding an AK-47 and a cherry bomb. Not sure why it's called a bomb, but I'm pretty sure anything he's holding now is a Class S weapon. It even says it in the fine print of the Cherry
' CLASS S WEAPON. CAUTION, may cause PMS and other side effects.'
I continue questioning the ethics of this presumed form of Jesus and his exceptional rabbit summoning abilities. The water surrounding us just explodes out of nowhere, and I'm wondering how could the stupid ocean wash away all this good bread.
THE PROVISIONS MAn, I NEED THE FUCKING PROVISIONS!
"Dude, it's alright man, I can make like, infinity bread bro." Jesus said.
I respond with delight,
"Does this mean I can make infinite Peanut Butter and Jelly Sandwiches?" I asked.
Jesus replies,
"Sure bro, you just have to make sure you worship me man, that's all I asked."
I fold my hands, questioning whether or not I should worship this entity. On the plus side, I get infinite peanut butter and bread, along with him being able to spit out rabbits all willy-nilly. The bad part is.....hmmmmm
Bread.
Rabbits.
Jesus.
Worship
Bread
Rabbit.
NO!
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