The Sheikah Trials, Part 1

<Kirran>	http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Yy7NVfkEsvQ
<WindStrike>	-=QUEST START=-
<WindStrike>	*Kirran, you have been summoned by Rauru to head to the Temple of Time. On the way there, a weird lookin' Zora is seen bantering with a familiar lookin' Lizalfos.*
<Kirran>	Hey Darte, we cleared out that temple for ya. Where'd you disappear off to anyways?
*	Darte scowls at Kirran.  "More urgent business."
<WindStrike>	*Like quarreling with an insignificant lizard?*
<Dex>	Son I will END you.
*	Kirran throws hands up "Just asking."
*	You are now known as DM
*	DM cannot be ended by the words of Mr. Dex.
*	DM can, however, end you.
<Kirran>	Anyways, what's got you two out this way
<Kirran>	?
<Dex>	Bored.
<Darte>	"..."
<Darte>	"Searching.
<Darte>	"
*	Darte grabs at the missing quotation mark as it tumbles away.
<DM>	*You hear a weird mysterious voice from beyond the fourth wall, but you dismiss it because it came from a furry.*
*	DM runs.
<Kirran>	Wow, that has to be a record for shortest time before weird stuff started happening.
*	Dex waits around.
*	Dex whistles off tune.
*	Darte stifles a cough.
<Darte>	"So..."
<DM>	*Suddenly, the plot finds itself unable to continue.*
<Darte>	"How's the eye?"
<Dex>	On a string.
<Dex>	So... what are you doing?
<Kirran>	Heading up to the Temple of Light.
*	DM questions what the crap the temple of light.
*	DM hides behind typos.
<Kirran>	Time
<Kirran>	>_>
<Dex>	Space?
<Dex>	Whatever.
<Dex>	I'm going with you.
<Kirran>	Still a bit woozy from all the teleporting lately.
<Dex>	I'm boring of hanging around here with fishlips here.
<Dex>	(by boring i mean bored)
*	Darte snorts.
<Darte>	"Snakesnout."
*	Darte turns to follow a more reasonable companion.
<Dex>	LETS GO!
*	Kirran shrugs
<DM>	*Mario agrees.*
*	Kirran heads off for the correct temple, the one of time.
*	Darte pushes his pace, catching up to Kirran.  "So, why you headed to the Temple, eh? You seem to be making a habit of trodding upon sacred grounds..."
<Kirran>	Well, part of my mission was to learn more about the world outside the Sheikah home grounds.
<Kirran>	In this particular case, I'm not really sure why I'm being summoned, only that I am.
<DM>	*You head to the Temple of Time. A general flow of people, namely Hylian and Terminan, head back and forth through the temple doors. There is also a Gossip Stone near the entrance of the temple.*
<Dex>	Whatever. Should be fun. Maybe we can get some rupees out of whatever they probably want you to do.
<Darte>	"Summoned, eh? No indication of purpose?"
<Kirran>	Nope.
*	Darte smirks.
<DM>	*Kirran, in your vision, the Gossip Stone seems to be glowing.*
*	Kirran goes to talk to the gossip stone.
<Darte>	"Just a reckless defiler, after all."
<Dex>	Pfffft. We all know they're going to send him out to do something.
<DM>	*To your visions Darte and Dex, the Gossip Stone is irrelevant, just like Fireblast124's intellect.*
<DM>	*Or Fran.*
*	X_X is now known as GossipStone
<GossipStone>	They say the plot-
<GossipStone>	They say that your greatest test awaits within.
*	Kirran is surprised.
<Kirran>	So soon? I didn't think I'd be ready this quickly.
<GossipStone>	They say that the entrance lies behind the temple.
<DM>	*Rumors are not normally this direct.*
*	Darte 's eyes glint.
*	Dex eyes Darte's glint.
<Kirran>	Anything else?
*	GossipStone seems to speak directly to you, Kirran.
<GossipStone>	You shall see.
<Kirran>	0.0
*	GossipStone goes back to being a dumb stone. It no longer glows to you.
<Darte>	"Ready for what? Defiling another temple?"
<Dex>	So what did the GabbyRock say?
*	Kirran is silent, brows furrowed.
<DM>	*There is a garden path next to the Temple of Time towards the backside. There does not appear to be anyone walking the path.*
<Kirran>	Looks like it's time for a test.
*	Kirran walks down the path.
*	Darte 's headcrest lifts slightly, and he paces after Kirran
<DM>	*You head down the path, noticing a myriad of vines slowly breaking through the walls of Temple of Time.*
<Dex>	HELLO ANYONE HOME?
<DM>	*You round the corner of the backside of the Temple and find a black GossipStone.*
<Dex>	That's racist.
<Dex>	That is the most racist thing.
*	Kirran silently approaches the stone.
<DM>	*Dex, you are green.*
<DM>	*And short.*
<Dex>	You're totally being speciest too.
<DM>	*You all hear a whisper from the stone.*
<GossipStone>	... come... closer.
<Dex>	Creepy.
<DM>	THAT'S racist.
<Dex>	Hey I'M not the one who made a black gossip stone and then chained it to the back of the temple.
<Kirran>	(Who said anything about chains?)
<Dex>	You can't see them?
*	GossipStone suddenly enlarges to become three times Kirran's size. The eye symbol on the statue turns upside, looking like a mouth.
<Kirran>	Well, that's new.
<Dex>	Ladies first.
<DM>	*The mouth extends forward and engulfs all of you.*
<DM>	*Kay, you've all been eaten. Game over.*
*	DM runs.
*	GossipStone is now known as X_X
<Kirran>	Good quest
<DM>	*You all find yourselves standing in a plane of abyssal darkness, yet you are all able to see each other as if you are all illuminated at point blank range.*
<Dex>	Welp. I'd bet this is the realm of shadow or something stupid like that.
<Kirran>	No Dex, THIS is creepy.
<DM>	*Relax, you're not in Shady's mind.*
*	Kirran wonders what would happen if he summoned Shady here.
<Darte>	"Realm of Shadow? This is the Temple of Time.  Or, at least, that's where we started..."
<DM>	*There is another among you. She stands tall behind Kirran with short, white hair and red eyes. Her outfit is that of a warrior, and on both the front side and back side of her armor is the red symbol of the Eye of Truth.*
<Dex>	KILL IT!
<Kirran>	Hold it Dex.
<Dex>	Holding it Kirran.
<DM>	[???]: Greetings, Kirran. It has been a long time since I last saw you.
*	Eevee is now known as Red_Enrics
<Kirran>	It has indeed.
<DM>	*You also notice someone stumbling around in a drunken stupor.*
<DM>	[???]: You seem to have brought some friends along. Are they here to take the trials too?
<Red_Enrics>	(Oh no you did not just do that.)
*	Darte blinks.  "...Trials? Kirran, what is this?"
<Dex>	Wait a sec... WAIT A SEC...
<Kirran>	I guess you weren't around when I told Dex and Red about my being only an initiate.
<Dex>	TRIALS!
<Dex>	IN THE TEMPLE!
<Kirran>	This is the staging ground for my full admission into the clan.
<Dex>	TIME TRIALS!!!!!!
<DM>	*Red_Enrics, nutshell, you are standing in an abyss of darkness. How you got here is a mystery.*
<Dex>	Zelda GO KART RACING!
*	Red_Enrics shakes his head and notices the party
<Red_Enrics>	Oh
<Red_Enrics>	Hey guys
<Kirran>	You're free to try with me, if you want to. But they are difficult.
<Kirran>	Very, very difficult.
<DM>	*The rest of the guys got eaten by a racis- black gossip stone.*
<Dex>	Gotta go fast!
<DM>	[???]: Hmm, very well.
<Red_Enrics>	(By a racist KICK DM OUT THE WINDOW.)
*	DM has kicked Dex from #zurpg (I got a time trial for you. How many times can I kick you out the window in 5 seconds?)
*	Dex (~DoubleEx@47.54.26.134) has joined #zurpg
<Kirran>	(lol)
<Dex>	Get it? TIME TRIALS!
*	Dex holds up his hand for a high five.
<DM>	*The woman turns towards you all.*
<Dex>	Don't leave me hanging here Fishlips.
*	Red_Enrics appears alongside the party as his "theme song" suddenly plays. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QOuFTRGJ_Yc
<Darte>	https://soundcloud.com/yentaichou/pf20130218-1
<DM>	[???]: I am Impa, personal aide to Princess Zelda, Guardian of the Shadow Temple, and holder of the Medallion of Shadows.
*	Darte turns his back on Dex, dorsal fin whipping towards his face.
<Red_Enrics>	(Note: Red's constantly changing his theme song.)
<DM>	(And I suck at describing people)
*	Dex ducks it and high fives it. DORSAL FIVE?
*	X_X is now known as Impa
<Impa>	Are you all prepared to face the trials?
<Darte>	http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6zMnNCDaKuE
<Kirran>	I apologize that my compatriots are...unruly. They are hardy warriors, despite outward apprearances.
<Dex>	The TIME TRIALS?
<Red_Enrics>	One moment, Impa
*	Red_Enrics summons Poe McGroove. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uFj60cLeGJI
<Red_Enrics>	Now I'm ready
<Darte>	(so many links)
*	Darte 's head whips to look at Impa.  "Ahh.  That does explain quite a bit."
<Impa>	Indeed. We are not in the Temple of Time, by the way.
<Dex>	CALLED IT!
<Kirran>	What was your first hint Dex?
<Impa>	I cannot reveal your true location, though.
<Red_Enrics>	Can you at least explain how I got here-fuck it, I always end up in weird place, I'm not even gonna bother asking.
<Dex>	At least you have your pants on this time.
<Impa>	Sir Enrics, even I do not know how you got here. It worries even me.
<Kirran>	Truth be told, boss, he kind of does that.
<DM>	*The plot said Red_Enrics was here. That's how.*
<Red_Enrics>	Well now I'm more or less wondering how the hell you know my name.
<Kirran>	There's not much Impa doesn't know.
<Dex>	IMPA KNOWS ALL
<Dex>	IMPA SEES ALL
<Dex>	Futures told and palms read.
<Impa>	If I knew that, then I would have caught Bloodwind by now.
<Maliki>	( Red_Enrics  must of got so drunk he got so lost that he bent the space time continueim
<DM>	(FASCINATING)
<Kirran>	(The least of his drunken powers.)
<Impa>	There will be three foes in your test. The essences of Darkness, Shadow, and Light.
<Red_Enrics>	Darkness...and Shadow...difference?
<Dex>	Dude really? Darkness is NO light.
<Kirran>	(Shades of Gray?)
*	Impa seems to ignore Red_Enrics' ignorance on the difference.
<Dex>	Shadow needs dark and light to be around.
<Red_Enrics>	Jeez, I was kidding, god.
<Impa>	If you defeat even one of them, you pass the trial, though we will give you the chance to defeat all three of them.
<Red_Enrics>	(Red seems rather moody today.)
<Impa>	However, if you fail to defeat any of them, you will fail the test.
*	Kirran lets out some pent up breath.
<DM>	(Gimme a moment, I need to look something up cause Red_Enrics joined)
<Red_Enrics>	(I honestly forgot all of the equipment that REd has.)
<DM>	(it's not your equipment I'm looking at)
*	Darte tilts his head curiously.  "I'm not one to shirk from a test of strength, but why?"
<Impa>	This is a test of wit and mind, not of strength.
*	Darte shifts uncomfortably.
<Impa>	As for why, we will let you know when you fail.
<Dex>	Is failure an option?
<Impa>	No. It is a result.
*	Kirran smiles wanly.
<Dex>	Actually it's a state of mind!
<Red_Enrics>	Hmmmm
<Darte>	"You seem certain of our failure."
<Red_Enrics>	Wit?!
*	Darte raises a fin toward her defiantly.
*	Red_Enrics jumps up in the air and levels up
<Darte>	(You mean Hoid.)
<Red_Enrics>	(Excess EXP)
<Impa>	But before this test can begin... I shall take away something from each of you.
<Impa>	Good luck.
<Red_Enrics>	Alright, wit, wit, wit, wit, wit.
*	Impa vanishes into the darkness... and each of you feel something different.
*	Red_Enrics levels up to level 22
*	Impa is now known as X_X
<DM>	*Dex Eyegouger, you lose your ability to see.*
*	Dex puts on a blindfold.
<Dex>	HAI KIMOSABE
<DM>	*Darte Fellshard, the nerves to your arms become numb. You are unable to hold any items.*
<Red_Enrics>	HP +5
<DM>	*Kirran, you are unable to distinguish between Light, Darkness, and Shadow.*
<DM>	*Red Enrics.... sigh....
*	Darte 's eyes widen as his arms fall limp to his sides.
<Dex>	Good thing my sense of smell is excellent.
<Red_Enrics>	Hmm
<Dex>	All I smell is fish.
<Kirran>	Well, I wasn't completely terrifed before, but now I am.
*	Darte snarls angrily at Impa.  "You- you call this a TRIAL? This is a FARCE!"
<Red_Enrics>	Guys
<DM>	*Red Enrics, you are completely sober, your stance is upright, and you are incapable of jumping, tripping, falling, etc. The only movements you can make with your legs involves walking.*
<Dex>	Lighten up dude. This will be a blast.
<Kirran>	Darte, control yourself. For you guys, this is a test of character. For me, this is the iniation trial into the clan.
<Red_Enrics>	You are-wha?!
<Kirran>	If I fail here, I'm exiled.
<Dex>	Wait. How is this a test of my character? I fought a demigod.
*	Red_Enrics is now known as Redrick_Enrics_VIII
*	Redrick_Enrics_VIII is now known as Red_Enrics
<DM>	*You all hear a voice echo around you...*
<DM>	[Voice]: When you overcome your weakness, you will awaken more powerful.
<DM>	[Voice]: Begin.
*	Red_Enrics marches forward
*	Orithan has quit (Ping timeout)
<Darte>	http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7mWXLafGoNg
<DM>	*Red, you march forward painfully, because not being drunk is sadness incarnate for you.*
*	Darte stands in place, quivering with fury.
<DM>	err
<Dex>	Let me get on your back.
<Dex>	Seriously.
*	Dex tries to climb onto Darte.
<DM>	*Kirran, additionally, your Shadow and Light affinities are disabled.*
*	Darte glares at Dex, then shakes his torso from side to side, arms flailing into the Lizalfos.
<DM>	[Voice]: Let the first trial begin.
*	Dex grips on tight and climbs up to his shoulders.
<Dex>	Point me at them.
<Kirran>	(So you mean I can't differentiate affinities, or my sense of sight is monocromatic?)
<Dex>	both
<Darte>	"The next wall I come to..."
<DM>	(both)
*	Orithan (~Orithan@120.147.242.200) has joined #zurpg
*	ChanServ gives channel operator status to Orithan
<Red_Enrics>	Argh...seriously, THIS is what you had in mind for a test.
*	Red_Enrics whispers.
<DM>	*You continue to stand in this abyss of darkness. Soon, you can seen the faint outline of walls.*
<Kirran>	Not what I had in mind, no. I don't have the luxury of choice.
<DM>	*You appear to be in a large room, about 50 feet in either direction.*
<Red_Enrics>	"Come on, Red, you're an actor, you could very easily bare with this pain."
<Dex>	I bet. That if I could see. I'd see faint outlines of the walls right about now.
<DM>	*Dex, you smell only the abyss of Red_Enrics' sadnes-
<Dex>	and fish.
<Dex>	Sadness and fish.
<Dex>	Sad fishes?
<Red_Enrics>	It's not the sober part that's painful
<Red_Enrics>	It's being forced to keep this posture that's incredibly painful
<DM>	*Dex, you smell something musty from about 20 feet in front of you.*
<Dex>	WHAT THE HELL IS THAT
<DM>	*You can equate it to Fran's corpse.*
<Dex>	IT SMELLS LIKE KIRRANS GRANDMOTHER
<DM>	*The rest of you fail to see anything in front of you.*
<DM>	*Other than darkness.*
*	Darte stomps onwards.  "What is what, you blithering idiot."
<Dex>	I think its Fran's corpse?
<DM>	*Infinite daaaaarkness.*
<Red_Enrics>	(Ironically, my back really hurts right now.)
<Dex>	I smell a dead body.
<Kirran>	At this point in time, I'm about as blind as the lizard.
<DM>	*Fran is not in this quest. If he was, you might as well just throw him at everything.*
<Darte>	http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mZhvURjaYPs
<Darte>	(I have no clue how that is relevant.)
<DM>	*The musty smell surrounds you Dex. It feels like it's everywhere now.*
<DM>	*A voice enters your ears.*
<Darte>	"So, it's just a trek in the darkness, then, eh.  Tedious."
<DM>	[Voice]: Who dares enter my realm?
<Dex>	We dares!
<DM>	[Voice]: You dares?
*	Darte raises his voice.  "Sure this isn't just a punishment for your defiling habits, Sheikah?"
<Dex>	Certainly we do!
<Kirran>	Dex, who are you talking to?
<DM>	[Voice]: You call me... Sheikah? HAH!
<Dex>	Have you considered the benefits of moisturizing?
*	Darte rolls his eyes.  Then reaches up and sympathetically rolls Dex's eye-on-a-rope.
<DM>	[Voice]: I am no Sheikah! ... I am the incarnation of darkness!
<Dex>	I TOTALLY CALLED IT
<Dex>	REALM OF DARKNESS
*	Red_Enrics continues Marching and following the party.
<Dex>	IN YO FACES!
<DM>	*Dex, your magic missile fails to reach the darkness.*
*	X_X is now known as Darkness
<Kirran>	(Anyone want a Mountain Dew?)
<Darkness>	Do you dare to fight me?
<Dex>	Do we have to?
<Darte>	(Already drinking one)
<Dex>	ive got flat pepsi
<Kirran>	Cranberry juice
<Darkness>	Fight me not, and you shall reach the next trial with no chance of this one.
<DM>	*Here, Yoda was.*
<Dex>	So what happens if we fight you?
<Kirran>	Fight who?
<DM>	*To clarify, your opponent is not Mr. Popo.*
<Kirran>	(Well, that's disappointing.)
<Darkness>	Then, a fight you shall get! MWAAAAAAHAA HAA HAA HAA HAAAAAA!
<DM>	*The laugh rings through your ears loudly.*
<Dex>	HOLD YOUR HORSES MISTER
*	Red_Enrics prepares his weapons in perfect knightly posture
<Dex>	Let's talk about this first.
<Red_Enrics>	Oh god, I've been slouching too much
<Red_Enrics>	My back is utterly killing me
<Darkness>	You want to speech? I can speech.
<Dex>	So can I!
<Dex>	Let's discuss this.
*	Darkness has no concept of grammar. Grammar Nazis would have a field day right now.
<Kirran>	(I'm assuming that Dex is still the only hearing any of this?)
<Dex>	Now we want to pass this trial.
<Dex>	But what is it YOU want.
<Dex>	Mr. The Darkness. What is it you'd like.
<Darkness>	What do I want?
<Dex>	Some crackers?
<Darkness>	Hah! I have what I want!
<Darkness>	I am DARKNESS! I am EVERYWHERE!
<Dex>	I have some crackers you can have.
<Dex>	Everywhere?
<Dex>	What about where there's light?
<Darkness>	I always exist. I cannot DIE!
<Dex>	Do you want a light?
<Dex>	I have a torch here.
<Dex>	You can have a night light. No charge.
<Darkness>	Light? You threaten me with that temporary existence? HAH!
<Red_Enrics>	(If Green_Enrics were here, this'd already be over, becuase light element.)
<Dex>	Ehhh. Don't you feel lonely at night?
<Dex>	ONE IS
<Dex>	THE LONELIST NUMBER
<Darkness>	I am everywhere. I am everything. I am what makes others lonely.
<Dex>	THAT YOULL EVER KNOW
<Darkness>	And I shall now make YOU lone-
<DM>	okay, hang on
<DM>	just
*	DM cries laughing.
<DM>	I can't even let him finish that
<Dex>	Hold on buddy.
<DM>	I just can't
<DM>	YOU BROKE THE DM
<DM>	okay, I'm back
<Dex>	TRIAL PASSED!
<Darkness>	You haven't defeated me. Come at me!
<DM>	*Come at me, bro.*
*	Dex hugs the darkness.
<Dex>	There there.
<Dex>	It's ok.
Darkness Darte
<Red_Enrics>	For the love of god
<DM>	*Dex, you flail your arms forward and fail to hug anything. You fall off Darte's head and slam into the stone-cold floor.*
<Darte>	"Please, Dex, stop clutching at my face."
<Red_Enrics>	Would somebody just cast Magic Missile already.
<Darte>	"Hmm.  Wish I'd thought of that."
<DM>	*Roll initiatives!*
*	Darte continues walking.
<Darte>	$init 1d11
<Tatl>	Darte: Your initiative roll has been entered. You rolled: 2.
<Red_Enrics>	$init 1d10
<Tatl>	Red_Enrics: Your initiative roll has been entered. You rolled: 3.
<Kirran>	$init 1d12
<Darkness>	$init 1d10
<Tatl>	Kirran: Your initiative roll has been entered. You rolled: 4.
<Tatl>	Darkness: Your initiative roll has been entered. You rolled: 3.
<Dex>	$1d11
<Tatl>	Dex: You rolled 1 Die with 11 Sides. Result: 9. Total: 9.
<Red_Enrics>	(Fuck this noise)
<Dex>	$init 1d11
<Tatl>	Dex: Your initiative roll has been entered. You rolled: 2.
<Kirran>	(Wow)
<DM>	NICE TACTICS, BRO
<DM>	$init s
<Tatl>	The battle has begun!
<Tatl>	ROUND 1: Kirran (4), Red_Enrics (3), Darkness (3), Dex (2) and Darte (2).
<Red_Enrics>	(Everyone sucks.)
<Red_Enrics>	(WHEEEEEEEEEEEE)
<Dex>	CUNTS
<DM>	The darkness - http://zurpg.sephiroth.ws/thread-465.html
<Kirran>	(Can I even see what I'm supposed to be fighting?)
<DM>	FYi, you cannnot see the Darkness' active skills or spells
<Dex>	I can't see anyway.
<Kirran>	Dex, do you have a sense of where this thing is?
<Dex>	It's the DARKNESS. What am I supposed to do? SMELL THE DARKNESS?
<DM>	(Kirran, you feel something cold around you, but that's all you're able to tell outside of the musty smell, and that you're standing on a hard floor.)
<Dex>	SURE SMELLS DARK IN HERE.
<Dex>	Just throw me at it.
<DM>	Racist much?
<Darte>	http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5XEHRGxIJDQ
<Kirran>	Do these arms look like they'd get you very far?
<Dex>	Jokes on you DM I'm all Shadow.
<Dex>	Well considering that I can't see.
<Dex>	No?
<Dex>	Yes?
<Kirran>	Besides, you said you smelled a dead body. That's more than I can say.
*	Darte sneers at Dex.  "I've carried your heft enough today.  Too bad my arms can't toss a bead right now."
<DM>	*Kirran, you can see outlines of other people. You cannot seem to find the outline of the Darkness. It just looks like a blob of grey to you.*
<DM>	*And it surrounds all of you entirely.*
<DM>	*Dex, you can't see crap.*
<Kirran>	Well, this is bad.
<Dex>	Smells like fish and sadness and musty dead body everywhere.
<Dex>	Just swing I guess.
<Kirran>	It's about all I can do.
<DM>	*There is no discernable point from where the smell is coming from. Rather, it seems to be bouncing around the room randomly at hyper speeds, preventing you from being able to get a lock the position of the Darkness, or even if it has a position.*
<DM>	*The plot waits for your move, Kirran.*
*	Kirran is considering the few options he has that aren't "flail sword wildly at nothing."
<Dex>	Hoooold on.
<Dex>	What if we light a bunch of torches and place them around the room.
<Dex>	And force Darkness into a corner?
*	Darte turns wildly around the room, arms flailing uselessly.
<Dex>	And then beat the shit out of it and take its stuff!
<Darte>	"Not sure I could hit this with swords if I wanted to.
<Dex>	Just fall on it.
<Darkness>	Oh? Given up already?
<Darte>	"I think Dex may have a point, though."
*	Darte grins fiercely.
<Dex>	You'll get fish smell all over it and it will die from embarrassment.
<Dex>	So does your head.
<Dex>	Anyway the point is.
*	Kirran lights the Soul Lantern and sets it on the ground near his feet.
<Dex>	Use torchlight to cage the darkness!
<Dex>	Smart smart smart I am smart.
<Darte>	https://soundcloud.com/yentaichou/st20130629
<DM>	*Dex and Kirran, you notice nothing different as the lantern is lit.*
<Dex>	Darkness is dumb.
<Dex>	i dont have eyesight
<Kirran>	Well, now I know what Impa took from me.
<Kirran>	Light and dark are not descirnably different.
<DM>	*Darte and Red_Enrics, the lantern illuminates the middle of the room, but darkness still covers the edges of the room.*
<Darkness>	A light? An interesting choice.
<Red_Enrics>	Eh?
<Dex>	IS IT WORKING?
<Dex>	I CANT SEE ANYTHING
<Darkness>	I don't know. Is it working?
<Darte>	"Not sure.  The room's lit more strongly now.
<Kirran>	$endturn
<Dex>	AND THATS BECAUSE IM BLIND
<Tatl>	Kirran has ended their turn.
<Tatl>	ROUND 1: Kirran (4), Red_Enrics (3), Darkness (3), Dex (2) and Darte (2).
<Dex>	ITS PART OF MY TRIAL YOU KNOW
<Red_Enrics>	Hmm
<Red_Enrics>	Soo
<Dex>	BEING BLIND
<Dex>	THE DM SAID SO
<Red_Enrics>	Physical damage won't hurt you hmm?
<Darte>	"But I don't think we're cornering it that way.  Dex, to me."
*	Darte steps toward the lantern.
<Dex>	Well frig it then let's just light the whole damn room.
*	Red_Enrics painfully reaches for his pocket and pulls out a children's book.
<DM>	*You know, I can make this really mean Dex and say you technically shouldn't be allowed to see the screen, therefore your character no longer gets interaction with the game itself due to it being text-based. However, I'm not that mean.*
<Red_Enrics>	Looks like you're going to have some use
<Dex>	that would be really dumb
<Dex>	that would be so dumb
<Red_Enrics>	I summon-Argh! You...Moul-ARGH-der!
<Dex>	but im not one to back away from a challenge
<Dex>	hurry up
<Dex>	god
<DM>	*You summon Moulder from your book. Run the shell yourself, by the way.*
*	Eevee (~Sean@pool-71-96-27-120.dllstx.fios.verizon.net) has joined #zurpg
<Dex>	ha
*	Eevee is now known as Moulder
*	Moulder appears.
<Dex>	is it my turn yet?
*	Raine yawns and wakes up slightly
<Moulder>	(Shit, How do I join the battle?)
<DM>	($init j)
<Moulder>	$init j
<Tatl>	Moulder has entered the fray.
<Red_Enrics>	$endturn
<Tatl>	Red_Enrics has ended their turn.
<Tatl>	ROUND 1: Kirran (4), Red_Enrics (3), Darkness (3), Dex (2), Darte (2) and Moulder (0).
<Raine>	Heh, darkness and ghosts...my favorite...
<Darkness>	Interesting... interesting indeed.
<Moulder>	So, captain, why have you summoned me?
<DM>	*The room shakes suddenly, and you can feel the ground beneath you begin to crumble, but it stops after a few seconds.*
<Darkness>	Your move.
<Darkness>	$endturn
<Tatl>	Darkness has ended their turn.
<Tatl>	ROUND 1: Kirran (4), Red_Enrics (3), Darkness (3), Dex (2), Darte (2) and Moulder (0).
<Red_Enrics>	I'll explain in a moment.
<Kirran>	Well, that bodes extremely poorly.
<DM>	*The soul lantern continues to shine brightly to show you the middle of the room.*
<DM>	*You can see- err...
<Kirran>	Anyone with functioning eyes want to tell me what happened to the floor?
<DM>	*Kirran, you can see outlines in the floor forming.*
<Kirran>	Um ,what the hell are those?
*	Dex lights a torch and drops it at his feet
<Dex>	EHHH
<Dex>	is it working?
<Dex>	Smells like burning.
<Kirran>	That would be your feet on fire.
<DM>	*The torch drops to the ground... and goes back out with a sizzling noise.*
<Dex>	should i do anything else
<Dex>	$endturn
<Tatl>	Dex has ended their turn.
<Tatl>	ROUND 1: Kirran (4), Red_Enrics (3), Darkness (3), Dex (2), Darte (2) and Moulder (0).
<Dex>	did i do anything?
<Kirran>	Nope.
<Dex>	SPEAK UP I CANT SEE YOU
<DM>	*As the torch sizzles out after its brief flare, Dex, you notice the musty smell is coming from the ground. It seems the floor is damp.*
<Dex>	THE FLOOR IS DAMP!
<Dex>	AND MUSTY
<Kirran>	And?
<Dex>	And what?
<Kirran>	I'm giving you a thumbs up you can't see.
<Dex>	That's all I got.
<Dex>	It's damp and smells musty.
<Dex>	I guess like... a grave?
<DM>	*OH, I WONDER WHERE WE'VE HAD THIS SITUATION BEFORE.*
<Dex>	DAMPES GRAVE!
<Darkness>	A grave, you say?
*	Darte closes his eyes briefly before preparing an Eye Missile Swarm."
<Darte>	*ICE
<Darkness>	What is a dampes grave?
<Kirran>	Well, either that darkness is either in the floor, it is the floor, or we're standing on something we're not going to like very soon.
<Red_Enrics>	Yeah, Darte's a bit of a gravedigger
<DM>	*Darte, your missile swarm is filled the Dex's blindness.*
<Darte>	DERP CITY HERE FOLKS
<Dex>	HALLELUJAH I CAN SEE!
<DM>	*Dex, you're still blind.*
<Dex>	Bitches!
<Dex>	I got a spirit stone!
<Red_Enrics>	Hallelujah, you can't see.
<Darte>	(Wisdom)
<Darte>	Targeting the floor.
<Kirran>	I've got a bad feeling about this.
<DM>	*Kirran, you are not a Jedi.*
<Darte>	$31d10
<Tatl>	Darte: You rolled 31 Dice with 10 Sides. Result: 5, 3, 9, 7, 4, 5, 2, 4, 3, 8, 4, 9, 6, 6, 6, 7, 3, 7, 1, 7, 10, 9, 7, 9, 7, 10, 8, 2, 3, 5 and 9. Total: 185. Successes: 23.
<Kirran>	(I had the high ground once. That counts.)
<DM>	*The floor does not know how to roll, and it finds ice explosions blasting the ground.*
<DM>	*The explosions of ice seep into the cracks made by the shaking earlier.*
<Darte>	25h11m
<Darte>	$endturn
<Tatl>	Darte has ended their turn.
<Tatl>	ROUND 1: Kirran (4), Red_Enrics (3), Darkness (3), Dex (2), Darte (2) and Moulder (0).
<Darte>	make that 8m
<Kirran>	So, no one's plannong on telling me what those outlines on the ground are?
<Moulder>	What should I do, captain?
<Red_Enrics>	Shadowbolt Darkness's ass.
<Kirran>	So I can't see anything except the darkness mooning me?
*	Moulder casts Shadowbolt on the Darkness.
<Kirran>	That's just awful...
<Moulder>	(Roll Wisdom)
<Moulder>	$44d10
<Tatl>	Moulder: You rolled 44 Dice with 10 Sides. Result: 7, 4, 5, 2, 6, 9, 7, 6, 10, 3, 4, 3, 10, 6, 6, 7, 3, 5, 3, 3, 6, 10, 3, 8, 5, 10, 8, 10, 2, 9, 3, 7, 2, 3, 9, 6, 4, 9, 8, 6, 4, 4, 6 and 2. Total: 253. Successes: 32.
*	Darkness is able to override his defending roll with Courage for this attack.
<Darkness>	$100d10
<Tatl>	Darkness: You rolled 100 Dice with 10 Sides. Total: 564. Successes: 69.
*	Darkness dodges the Shadowbolt.
<Kirran>	: 0
*	Darkness does not counterattack.
*	Red_Enrics reroll Darkness
<Moulder>	(Derp)
<DM>	(You're serious)
<Moulder>	(Yes)
<Darkness>	$100d10
<Tatl>	Darkness: You rolled 100 Dice with 10 Sides. Total: 509. Successes: 60.
<DM>	(There, it's not 69. Happy you gutter brat?)
<Moulder>	(I WILL DAMAGE THIS ASSHOLE AT SOME POINT.)
*	Moulder loses 2 MP
<Moulder>	9M
<Moulder>	$endturn
<Tatl>	Moulder has ended their turn.
<Tatl>	ROUND 2: Kirran (4), Red_Enrics (3), Darkness (3), Dex (2), Darte (2) and Moulder (0).
<Kirran>	(So are the outlines just the cracks in the ground, or what?)
<DM>	(They are.)
<Kirran>	Hmmm..
<DM>	(But your allies are unwilling to say so.)
<Kirran>	So our grand plan at the moment is to attack the obviously unstable ground.
<Darkness>	Do you think that will honestly help you?
<Kirran>	No.
<Dex>	Do we NOT not think it WON't not help us?
<Darkness>	Then why try?
<DM>	*Because multiple negatives are apparently what constructs your brain, Dex.*
<DM>	(brb 1 minute, continue on)
<Kirran>	Because no darkness should be this complete.
*	Red_Enrics telepathies Dex
<DM>	(back)
<Dex>	What?
<Dex>	WHAT!
<Darte>	"What do you propose, then? Illusion? Allegory?"
<DM>	(Red_Enrics is half Hylian and has the ability to send Telepathic Messages, so yes, that does work.)
<Kirran>	It's the balance of light and darkness that makes the world what it is.
*	Red_Enrics telepathies the forth wall.
<Dex>	Are you saying its doubt?
<Darkness>	Oh, the figurative Light and Darkness. Oh how I laugh at your simplistic views of reality.
<Dex>	Doubt is the enemy here?
<Dex>	DOUBT!
*	Darte raise a brow toward Kirran.  "Faulty, but close."
<DM>	*The fourth wall does not respond to you.*
<Darte>	"I suppose you'd argue the Sacred Realm is a place of both light and darkness."
*	DM pokes Kirran with a stick.
<Red_Enrics>	(Who's turn is it.)
<Kirran>	(Mine.)
<Darte>	"No, it is one or the other, not both.  Perhaps a similar principle applies to this room..."
<Kirran>	No, but I imagine that somewhere in the grand scehem of things, there's a dark realm as well.
<Darkness>	Who is it that calls me Doubt?
<Dex>	Yo!
<Dex>	Right here.
<Dex>	The blind Lizalfos.
<Darkness>	Oh... it is the blind one. Why is it that you call me Doubt?
*	DM pokes Kirran with another stick.
<Kirran>	Darte, what do you recommend? Shroud the room in utter darkness. We can't very well light it up completely.
<Dex>	Cause you smell like defeat?
<Dex>	And you keep trying to make us feel bad about ourselves.
<Darkness>	Hmph! Preposterous!
<Dex>	PREPOSTEROUS?
<Dex>	OR THE RIGHT THING?
*	Red_Enrics thinks.
*	Darkness does not reply.
*	Kirran waits for Darte to continue pontificating.
<Dex>	Which would be funny ha ha.
<Dex>	Not funny strange.
<Dex>	That the "all powerful" DARKNESS is really nothing more than "feeling like you can't do it".
<Red_Enrics>	ARGH
<DM>	*Kirran, you have 1 minute to declare an action, or else I'm hitting $endturn*
<Dex>	Ohhh look at you. You're DOUBT so SCARY pfft ha ha ha.
*	Kirran passes his turn.
<Kirran>	$endturn
<Tatl>	Kirran has ended their turn.
<Tatl>	ROUND 2: Kirran (4), Red_Enrics (3), Darkness (3), Dex (2), Darte (2) and Moulder (0).
*	Sephiroth has quit (Connection reset by peer)
<Red_Enrics>	....
<Darte>	"We see what happened when the Sacred Realm was tainted; it was in no part light.  There is no need of a Dark Realm when there is so clearly a single realm that is one or the other."
*	Red_Enrics closes his eyes and attempts to telepathy the Darkness
<DM>	(FASCINATING)
*	Red_Enrics seems serious.
<DM>	(go for it)
<Darte>	"How this little side discussion applies here, I do not know.  Focus, Kirran."
<Kirran>	I'm no sage Darte, just a warrior and knowledge seeker. I'm from a shadow tribe, walking the line between two absolutes.
<DM>	*Red_Enrics, you feel a presence, 20 feet to your left.*
<Kirran>	My instinct tells me to balance one with another.
<Darte>	"Are there any principles that guide your people?"
<DM>	(fyi, he's telepathying through private chat)
*	Red_Enrics keeps Darkness busy through telepathy.
*	Darte snorts.  "Balance leads to compromise.  Darkness does not relent with balance; it always draws deeper."
<Red_Enrics>	$endturn
<Tatl>	Red_Enrics has ended their turn.
<Tatl>	ROUND 2: Kirran (4), Red_Enrics (3), Darkness (3), Dex (2), Darte (2) and Moulder (0).
*	Darte As is evidenced here.
*	Darkness is kept busy by the talking and doesn't realize the fourth wall gave him a turn.
<DM>	$endturn
<Tatl>	DM has ended Darkness's turn.
<Tatl>	ROUND 2: Kirran (4), Red_Enrics (3), Darkness (3), Dex (2), Darte (2) and Moulder (0).
<Dex>	I say we burn the place to the ground and salt the earth.
<Kirran>	Giving in to darkness is no option though.
<Dex>	This gem is truely truely outrageous.
*	Dex uses his Spirit Gem.
<Dex>	POW
<Darte>	"Give in or not, the darkness can and will take you.
<Kirran>	Light is no different Darte.
<DM>	*Dex, in your spirit form, you feel yourself flow out of your body... and you can see.*
<Darte>	"Ahh, but how many fall without escape into light?"
<Dex>	Woo! I can see. IN YOUR FACE ARBITRARILY PLACED RESTRICTIONS!
<Kirran>	Both are zealous and hungry.
<DM>	*You can see the outline of something... a blob that has no definite form and constantly fluctuates. It's 20 feet to the left of Red_Enrics.*
<Darte>	"It is no small feat to stand fully in it, but it is simple for one of light to be plunged without means of escape into darkness eternal."
<Dex>	$endturn
<Tatl>	Dex has ended their turn.
<Tatl>	ROUND 2: Kirran (4), Red_Enrics (3), Darkness (3), Dex (2), Darte (2) and Moulder (0).
<Kirran>	I beg to differ. Any soul can redeem itself.
<Dex>	Psstt.
<Dex>	PSSST.
<Dex>	Hey.
<Dex>	You guys.
*	Darte scowls.  "Tell that to the Thief of the Desert."
<Dex>	I'm not a theif of the desert. Yet.
<Dex>	BUT.
<Dex>	I have exciting news!
<Dex>	Good news party members!
<Kirran>	I can do you one better, I told it to the angry spirit of a royal murdered by what he thought was a sheikah plot.
<Dex>	You know what.
<Dex>	You can totally see the darkness in spirit form.
<DM>	*You all hear Dex's voice coming from just above his physical body, but none of you can see his spirit form.*
<DM>	*Dex, roll your Wisdom vs. Darkness' Wisdom.*
<Dex>	It's blobby and 20 feet to the left of Red.
<Dex>	$25d10
<Tatl>	Dex: You rolled 25 Dice with 10 Sides. Result: 10, 10, 3, 9, 2, 9, 9, 6, 2, 5, 1, 1, 3, 1, 10, 5, 10, 4, 4, 3, 1, 2, 5, 8 and 1. Total: 124. Successes: 16.
<Darkness>	$20d10
<Tatl>	Darkness: You rolled 20 Dice with 10 Sides. Result: 1, 3, 4, 6, 2, 2, 5, 5, 10, 7, 5, 8, 6, 10, 3, 8, 7, 6, 8 and 2. Total: 108. Successes: 15.
*	Darte blinks and turns to Dex's spiritless body.  "What is it? Where?"
<Dex>	20 FEET to the LEFT
<Dex>	of
<Dex>	RED
<DM>	*The Darkness did not hear that Dex can see, as the Darkness is still distracted by Red_Enrics.*
<Dex>	RED
<DM>	*Now that I say that, I am now laughing out loud.*
<Raine>	Tee hee, silly lizard man. I know where it is...
<Darte>	"Left? His left? My left?"
<DM>	*Raine, you're in darkness mode currently.*
*	Darte traces his line of sight to Red.  "Got it."
*	Darte performs some mental calculations.
<Dex>	Left of Red.
*	Darte fires a PSI Blast at the darkness.
<Darte>	"Hope you know how to measure accurately..."
<Darte>	(Wisdom)
<Darte>	$28d10
<Tatl>	Darte: You rolled 28 Dice with 10 Sides. Result: 5, 8, 1, 7, 9, 5, 4, 9, 8, 2, 8, 8, 1, 10, 10, 6, 2, 4, 9, 3, 4, 8, 7, 2, 6, 4, 9 and 2. Total: 161. Successes: 19.
<Raine>	Lizard soul would taste good with lemons.
<DM>	*Your blast of water seems to ripple slightly as it passes through something. It impacts the wall in a shower of rain.*
<Dex>	Shut up your face you.
*	Darkness loses telepathic connection with Red_Enrics.
<Red_Enrics>	Eh?
<Darkness>	Did someone just try to shoot me?
<Kirran>	Nope.
<Darte>	"I think your aim was OFF, snakesnout!"
<Darkness>	Oh. Interesting.
<Dex>	Fishlips I don't even KNOW water magic.
<Darte>	25h7m
<Darte>	$endturn
<Tatl>	Darte has ended their turn.
<Tatl>	ROUND 2: Kirran (4), Red_Enrics (3), Darkness (3), Dex (2), Darte (2) and Moulder (0).
<Darkness>	Well, I'd like to continue my chat with the Hylian, but someone is trying to shoot me.
*	Moulder thinks
<Moulder>	$endturn
<Tatl>	Moulder has ended their turn.
<Tatl>	ROUND 3: Kirran (4), Red_Enrics (3), Darkness (3), Dex (2), Darte (2) and Moulder (0).
<DM>	$1d2
<Tatl>	DM: You flipped 1 coin. Values: Tails (2). Results: 0 Heads (1) - 1 Tail (2).
<DM>	*Raine has shifted to Light mode.*
<Raine>	Sorry Kirran, no help for now. Want a hug?
<DM>	*Raine's light expands the Soul Lantern's light to almost hit the edges of the room, but not quite.*
*	Darte snarls.  "I'm starting to think your theory on Despair is correct.  How many have left this room lacking hope that they would ever complete their trials?"
<Kirran>	A great many, I should think.
<Darkness>	Everyone has.
<Kirran>	It's no straight forward battle, that's for sure.
*	Darte blinks.
<Dex>	But you'll try right.
<Darte>	"Everyone... that would include those who succeeded."
*	Darkness remains silent for a moment.
<Darte>	"So even if we think we've failed... we may not."
<Darte>	"Think, everyone.  Why confront that which cannot be slain?"
<Dex>	I have a cunning plan.
<Dex>	For the fun of it?
<Darte>	"She said to use our minds, our WITS, not our strength."
<Dex>	I love a challenge.
<Kirran>	Darte, I need your help with something.
<Darte>	"...Everyone, run."
<Kirran>	Run?
<Dex>	NEVER!
<Kirran>	Where?
<Kirran>	Two of us can't see.
<Dex>	I can see.
<Dex>	In this form!
*	Orithan has quit (Quit: Back to the den)
<Dex>	END YOUR TURN SO I CAN INACT MY CUNNING PLAN!
<Darte>	"It doesn't matter.  We need to leave this room.  The lantern can serve us well; find the exit!
<Dex>	Actually.
<DM>	*The room has no exits, but the floor is cracked and filled with ice.*
<Dex>	I have TWO cunning plans.
<Kirran>	The use your eyes and look. The lantern does me no good.
<Dex>	Balls to you I wanna try my plans first.
<Darkness>	This is most entertaining group I've tested.
*	Kirran moves the lantern and asks Raine to position herself as best as possible to limit the darkness of the room to one corner.
*	Kirran is roughly guessing the lantern's strength.
<DM>	*You back yourselves around one of the corners of the room. The lights make it so that the darkness covers a large radius in one of the corner, in about a 10 foot radius.*
<Raine>	Hee hee...this is fun.
<DM>	(someone in voicechat wants to try something extraordinarily stupid and wants you to hit $endturn)
<Kirran>	$endturn
<Tatl>	Kirran has ended their turn.
<Tatl>	ROUND 3: Kirran (4), Red_Enrics (3), Darkness (3), Dex (2), Darte (2) and Moulder (0).
<Red_Enrics>	(Back with Root Beer and Chips
*	Red_Enrics waits
<Red_Enrics>	$endturn
<Tatl>	Red_Enrics has ended their turn.
<Tatl>	ROUND 3: Kirran (4), Red_Enrics (3), Darkness (3), Dex (2), Darte (2) and Moulder (0).
<DM>	*The room shakes once more. The cracks in the room become more apparent, and the floor looks like it's close to completely breaking.*
<Darkness>	Doubt, you say. Interesting. Let's try it, shall we?
<Kirran>	That's what I thought it was up to...
<Darkness>	$endturn
<Tatl>	Darkness has ended their turn.
<Tatl>	ROUND 3: Kirran (4), Red_Enrics (3), Darkness (3), Dex (2), Darte (2) and Moulder (0).
<Dex>	Gunna try to steal the darkness.
*	Kirran facepalms
*	DM facepalms
<Dex>	$31d10
<Tatl>	Dex: You rolled 31 Dice with 10 Sides. Result: 2, 5, 5, 2, 1, 9, 5, 7, 8, 8, 1, 9, 4, 4, 10, 9, 8, 2, 9, 6, 2, 10, 10, 2, 2, 6, 3, 1, 7, 8 and 2. Total: 167. Successes: 21.
*	Darte facepalms.
*	Darkness was distracted earlier, by the way.
<Darkness>	$25d10
<Tatl>	Darkness: You rolled 25 Dice with 10 Sides. Result: 2, 7, 1, 3, 5, 8, 5, 8, 5, 7, 9, 10, 6, 8, 7, 6, 9, 9, 10, 4, 7, 8, 6, 10 and 1. Total: 161. Successes: 23.
<Dex>	reroll point
<Kirran>	(http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XZxzJGgox_E)
<Darkness>	what is that lizard doing
<Darkness>	what
<Darkness>	what
<Darkness>	what
<Dex>	darkness reroll
<Darkness>	$25d10
<Tatl>	Darkness: You rolled 25 Dice with 10 Sides. Result: 6, 3, 4, 10, 5, 1, 8, 1, 1, 5, 5, 5, 8, 6, 8, 4, 9, 3, 3, 2, 10, 4, 9, 2 and 4. Total: 126. Successes: 15.
<Dex>	so that was courage
<Dex>	this is power
<DM>	*Steal one, success!*
<Dex>	$23d10
<Tatl>	Dex: You rolled 23 Dice with 10 Sides. Result: 1, 10, 7, 5, 7, 3, 8, 4, 9, 10, 10, 6, 2, 7, 1, 6, 4, 1, 6, 6, 9, 9 and 2. Total: 133. Successes: 18.
<Darkness>	$25d10
<Tatl>	Darkness: You rolled 25 Dice with 10 Sides. Result: 1, 3, 4, 5, 4, 3, 4, 1, 2, 6, 5, 9, 8, 7, 9, 2, 9, 4, 10, 4, 3, 7, 5, 1 and 8. Total: 124. Successes: 13.
<Dex>	ok wisdom
<Dex>	$25d10
<Tatl>	Dex: You rolled 25 Dice with 10 Sides. Result: 2, 6, 5, 1, 9, 8, 1, 9, 6, 3, 2, 10, 3, 7, 7, 3, 3, 1, 9, 9, 10, 6, 6, 5 and 2. Total: 133. Successes: 17.
<Darkness>	$25d10
<Tatl>	Darkness: You rolled 25 Dice with 10 Sides. Result: 7, 5, 4, 6, 7, 9, 8, 8, 8, 1, 6, 8, 9, 2, 7, 9, 8, 7, 4, 7, 8, 2, 2, 3 and 3. Total: 148. Successes: 17.
<DM>	ROLLOFF
<Dex>	$25d10
<Tatl>	Dex: You rolled 25 Dice with 10 Sides. Result: 9, 2, 4, 1, 7, 7, 10, 6, 7, 8, 6, 3, 10, 9, 4, 8, 9, 8, 3, 10, 3, 4, 5, 10 and 7. Total: 160. Successes: 21.
<Darkness>	$25d10
<Tatl>	Darkness: You rolled 25 Dice with 10 Sides. Result: 5, 4, 4, 8, 8, 8, 9, 7, 9, 6, 6, 9, 8, 8, 8, 8, 7, 9, 7, 4, 1, 8, 3, 7 and 4. Total: 165. Successes: 19.
<Dex>	HOLY SHIT
<Dex>	I STOLE THE DARKNESS
<DM>	*You steal a portion of the darkness, but it starts grasping away from your hands. Got a container for it?*
<Dex>	bottle yo
<Darkness>	......................................
<Dex>	BOTTLE YO
<Dex>	SLAM IT IN
<DM>	*You bottle the darkness. I will write this for you later.*
<Kirran>	I have no words adequete.
<DM>	*Because I am currently wallowing in a multi-layer face-palm charade of sadness.*
<Kirran>	I reiterate
<Kirran>	http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XZxzJGgox_E
*	Darkness facepalms
<Darkness>	I am confused on so many levels right now.
<Dex>	Soooo.
<Dex>	THAT happend.
<Darte>	http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Mzfevj0iMlQ
<DM>	*Dex, YOU HAVE CONFUSED THE DARKNESS.*
<Dex>	I don't even CARE if we lose now.
<Dex>	I AM THE GREATEST!
<Dex>	WOO!
<Dex>	$endturn
<Kirran>	Darte, I'm not entirely comfortable with the assumption that the essence of darkness can only move in darkness, but...
<Tatl>	Dex has ended their turn.
<Tatl>	ROUND 3: Kirran (4), Red_Enrics (3), Darkness (3), Dex (2), Darte (2) and Moulder (0).
<Darte>	Blinks in sheer startlement at the sudden collapse of the darkness into Dex's spirit bottle.
<Dex>	Hey Kirran.
<Dex>	You can totally bottle darkness.
<DM>	*There is still darkness in the room, but it is not as apparent as it was.*
<Dex>	Guys.
<DM>	*You can see the lights creating a figure on the darkness. Even Kirran can see this outline.*
<Dex>	I bottled The Darkness!
<DM>	*The darkness is LITERALLY facepalming.*
<Dex>	This is the kinda shit that gets turned into legends!
<Dex>	Someone write a ballad about this.
<DM>	*You know what, maybe I should've made the darkness Mr. Popo. That way, it could not have possibly have worked.*
*	DM slaps Dex with...................... just continue on.
<Dex>	I can't wait to tell Bob.
<Kirran>	This isn't going to last. As soon as Raine goes Dark, it won't be limited to where it's standing.
<Darte>	"I can't help but wonder what lessons we were supposed to learn from this that the foul lizard has entirely subverted with this action."
<Dex>	I LAUGH AT YOUR RULES
<Dex>	HA
<DM>	*Those of you that facepalm realize that you only see darkness as you facepalm.*
<DM>	*Want a hint? There's your hint.*
*	DM goes back to facepalming.
<Dex>	What to do with it....
<Dex>	Dark light?
<Dex>	Black light!
<Dex>	DARK GOLEM OF DOOM
<Dex>	BOW BEFORE MY MIGHT TINY MORTALS
<Dex>	I still have a SECOND cunning plan too!
*	DM pokes Darte with a stick.
<DM>	*It's official. Dex is Jim from Darths & Droids.*
<Kirran>	Well, maybe we should try blowing out the lantern after all.
*	Darte closes his eyes and, in raw fury, sends a PSI Blast ricocheting aimlessly.
<DM>	*You know what? I'm gonna make this worse.*
<Darte>	"Why can't we KILL THIS THING?"
<Kirran>	You said it yourself, it's an absolute.
<Darte>	$28d10
<Tatl>	Darte: You rolled 28 Dice with 10 Sides. Result: 8, 1, 10, 6, 3, 4, 8, 6, 7, 8, 7, 10, 10, 4, 10, 1, 4, 9, 10, 10, 9, 8, 3, 3, 2, 10, 2 and 4. Total: 177. Successes: 24.
<Darte>	(Wisdom)
<Darte>	6m
<Darkness>	$25d10
<Tatl>	Darkness: You rolled 25 Dice with 10 Sides. Result: 10, 3, 7, 5, 4, 5, 6, 7, 2, 9, 9, 1, 9, 9, 4, 5, 9, 4, 4, 6, 8, 6, 8, 6 and 8. Total: 154. Successes: 19.
<DM>	*Your blast once again ripples as it phases through... something. The blast hits the wall.*
<Darte>	$endturn
<Tatl>	Darte has ended their turn.
<Tatl>	ROUND 3: Kirran (4), Red_Enrics (3), Darkness (3), Dex (2), Darte (2) and Moulder (0).
<DM>	*You notice the darkness in the corner of the room shrink slightly.*
*	DM gives Kirran, Red_Enrics, Dex, and Darte a 10-sided coin from the sheer stupidity of what just happened - http://zurpg.sephiroth.ws/thread-465.html
<DM>	(I'll give a minute, and then hitting $endturn, since Red_Enrics said he was away)
*	Kirran is somehow not in the least bit tempted to flip the Raine coin.
<Red_Enrics>	$endturn
<Tatl>	Red_Enrics: You cannot end somebody else's turn. Wait until your turn comes up.
<Red_Enrics>	(I came back with chips and root beer.)
<DM>	(ah, he is there)
<DM>	(nice combo)
<DM>	$endturn
<Tatl>	DM has ended Moulder's turn.
<Tatl>	ROUND 4: Kirran (4), Red_Enrics (3), Darkness (3), Dex (2), Darte (2) and Moulder (0).
*	Darte 's eyes widen.
<Red_Enrics>	(Oh shit, it was Moulder's turn?
<DM>	(oh... yeah)
<DM>	(did you wanna do something?)
<Darte>	"Everyone.  We CAN find the darkness.  PUT OUT THAT LANTERN."
<DM>	(you still can)
<Red_Enrics>	(My bad)
<Red_Enrics>	(Well, I was gonna do nothing anyways
*	Kirran shurgs and blows out the lantern.
<DM>	(fyi, if you flip that coin, you'll need to state what your problem is)
<DM>	$1d2
*	Raine jingles, and flies back into her bottle now.
<Tatl>	DM: You flipped 1 coin. Values: Heads (1). Results: 1 Head (1) - 0 Tails (2).
<Darte>	"Think.  How can we strike the darkness when it is nowhere to be found, but hiding in the small cracks of the floor or ceiling?
<DM>	*The lantern is blown out, and Raine switches to dark mode. The room is back to eternal darkness.*
<Darkness>	I am so confused.
<Dex>	DUDE I WILL END YOU
<Darte>	No.  When it is everywhere, there is no way for it to BE missed, for anything we do is encompassed by it! It is not us who cannot escape, it is IT!
<Dex>	I AM SO PUMPED
<Kirran>	hope you're right Darte.
*	Kirran takes an experimental swing with his wind knife.
<Kirran>	(Roll courage)
<Kirran>	$35d10
<Tatl>	Kirran: You rolled 35 Dice with 10 Sides. Result: 1, 1, 6, 8, 10, 1, 9, 8, 10, 4, 1, 2, 10, 10, 5, 10, 9, 9, 1, 4, 2, 8, 4, 2, 5, 3, 6, 2, 5, 9, 3, 10, 7, 6 and 9. Total: 200. Successes: 27.
<Darte>	"Don't aim.  Just feel."
<Darkness>	$100d10
<Tatl>	Darkness: You rolled 100 Dice with 10 Sides. Total: 549. Successes: 69.
*	Darkness dodges it with ease.
<Kirran>	$endturn
<Tatl>	Kirran has ended their turn.
<Tatl>	ROUND 4: Kirran (4), Red_Enrics (3), Darkness (3), Dex (2), Darte (2) and Moulder (0).
<Kirran>	Yep, that worked out well.
<Darte>	(D'oh.  Physical attacks don't work.  And Courage is its hight stat.)
<DM>	Nice crit wrench, bro.
*	Red_Enrics continues thinking.
<Red_Enrics>	$nedturn
<Red_Enrics>	$endturn
<Tatl>	Red_Enrics has ended their turn.
<Tatl>	ROUND 4: Kirran (4), Red_Enrics (3), Darkness (3), Dex (2), Darte (2) and Moulder (0).
<Kirran>	I have another idea, assuming we get that far.
<DM>	(Rolling a dice... 1 = collapse, 2 = almost collapses)
<DM>	$1d2
<Tatl>	DM: You flipped 1 coin. Values: Tails (2). Results: 0 Heads (1) - 1 Tail (2).
<DM>	*The room shakes again. You can feel the floor is able to crumble. If any of you move, you may fall through the floor.*
<Darkness>	$endturn
<Tatl>	Darkness has ended their turn.
<Tatl>	ROUND 4: Kirran (4), Red_Enrics (3), Darkness (3), Dex (2), Darte (2) and Moulder (0).
<Dex>	Ok dude.
<Dex>	Give up right now.
<Dex>	SERIOUSLY.
<Darkness>	Me?
<Dex>	Yes you.
<Darkness>	No.
<Dex>	I have a CUNNING PLAN.
<Red_Enrics>	(I have to go to bed in like.)
<Darkness>	I can't give up. I'm the darkness.
<Red_Enrics>	(45 minutes.)
<DM>	(I'm hitting a session pause when this part of the trial is over)
<Red_Enrics>	(It'll be 1:00 AM at that time. XD)
<Dex>	Come work for me dude.
<DM>	(which is soon)
<Dex>	I got a sweet ass base going on.
<Darkness>	No.
<Darkness>	I work for no one.
<Dex>	Having the incarnation of darkness would totally be awesome.
<Darkness>	In fact... I don't have to work. I just exist.
<Darkness>	HAH!
<Dex>	Suit yourself. Let's see if this works.
*	Dex pokes the Darkness.
<DM>	*The fourth wall cracks open and pukes out its brain.*
<DM>	*Sephiroth wakes up the next morning to find that he has died in his sleep.*
<DM>	What.
<DM>	Just.
<DM>	Happened.
<Dex>	I poked the Darkness.
<DM>	*You successfully poke the darkness. It takes 1 damage.*
<DM>	I
<DM>	.........
<DM>	I am hearing the most interesting thing in voicechat.
<DM>	DoubleEx is dying.
<DM>	This is amusing on so many levels.
<Darkness>	I have no words to describe what the hell just happened.
<Dex>	I'll do it again next turn too.
<Dex>	Don't think I won't.
<DM>	*Dex, you actually FELT your poke hit something. It felt like... weightless goo.*
<Kirran>	Considering the state of the floor, we're not likely to be in this room that long.
<Dex>	$endturn
<Tatl>	Dex has ended their turn.
<Tatl>	ROUND 4: Kirran (4), Red_Enrics (3), Darkness (3), Dex (2), Darte (2) and Moulder (0).
<Dex>	I'm in spirit form fool. I can hang here for forever.
*	Darte shrugs and fires another aimless blast of PSI Blast.
<Kirran>	I think I figured out the flaw in Darte's plan.
<Darte>	$28d10
<Tatl>	Darte: You rolled 28 Dice with 10 Sides. Result: 4, 8, 8, 7, 3, 5, 10, 10, 3, 5, 6, 7, 3, 10, 1, 1, 6, 5, 6, 2, 4, 1, 8, 10, 10, 5, 5 and 6. Total: 159. Successes: 24.
<Darte>	(Wisdom)
<Darkness>	$100d10
<Tatl>	Darkness: You rolled 100 Dice with 10 Sides. Total: 549. Successes: 73.
<Kirran>	If you give the darkness everywhere to be, it will be able to be anywhere.
*	Darkness dodges the PSI Blast... which hits the wall in a shower of rain, which hits the darkness.
<DM>	$1d2
<Tatl>	DM: You flipped 1 coin. Values: Tails (2). Results: 0 Heads (1) - 1 Tail (2).
<Kirran>	I think I had the better idea friend.
<Dex>	SUFFER MY POKEY WRATH
<DM>	*For a brief instance, you can see the entire room lit up. It returns to darkness.*
<Darte>	25h5m
<Darte>	$endturn
<Tatl>	Darte has ended their turn.
<Tatl>	ROUND 4: Kirran (4), Red_Enrics (3), Darkness (3), Dex (2), Darte (2) and Moulder (0).
*	DM goes ahead and pokes Red_Enrics with a stick.
<Red_Enrics>	We have nothing to lose
<Red_Enrics>	Do whatever, Moulder
*	Moulder casts Magic Mis-I mean Shadowbolt at the Darkness. (Wisdom
<Moulder>	$44d10
<Tatl>	Moulder: You rolled 44 Dice with 10 Sides. Result: 8, 7, 4, 2, 1, 9, 2, 10, 9, 8, 8, 3, 2, 4, 7, 10, 8, 1, 10, 6, 10, 2, 8, 6, 2, 5, 6, 6, 3, 7, 1, 3, 5, 8, 3, 9, 8, 1, 8, 1, 5, 3, 4 and 9. Total: 242. Successes: 30.
<Darkness>	$100d10
<Tatl>	Darkness: You rolled 100 Dice with 10 Sides. Total: 536. Successes: 62.
<Red_Enrics>	Reroll
<Red_Enrics>	Because fuck it
<Darkness>	$100d10
<Tatl>	Darkness: You rolled 100 Dice with 10 Sides. Total: 558. Successes: 68.
<Red_Enrics>	Fuck
<Red_Enrics>	you
<DM>	*This time, your reroll point impacts the darkness. Why? Cause Dex.*
<DM>	$1d2
<Tatl>	DM: You flipped 1 coin. Values: Tails (2). Results: 0 Heads (1) - 1 Tail (2).
<Moulder>	7m
<DM>	*The room lights up for a brief instance once again before returning to darkness.*
<Moulder>	$endturn
<Tatl>	Moulder has ended their turn.
<Tatl>	ROUND 5: Kirran (4), Red_Enrics (3), Darkness (3), Dex (2), Darte (2) and Moulder (0).
<DM>	$1d2
<Tatl>	DM: You flipped 1 coin. Values: Tails (2). Results: 0 Heads (1) - 1 Tail (2).
<DM>	*Raine lights up.*
<DM>	$1d2
<Tatl>	DM: You flipped 1 coin. Values: Heads (1). Results: 1 Head (1) - 0 Tails (2).
<DM>	*As a result of Raine lighting up, the darkness begins to fade as light begins to filter into the room.*
<Darkness>	This was... by far... the most interesting test... I've given...
<Darkness>	Congratulations. You have passed the trial. Would you like to continue?
<Dex>	WHAT
*	Darte blinks.
<Dex>	I wanted to poke the darkness again.
<Darkness>	Also, **** you lizard.
*	Kirran laughs
<Dex>	YOU BEST STEP OFF SON!
<Kirran>	Yes, we would like to continue
<Red_Enrics>	We would like to continue...
<Red_Enrics>	AFTER THESE MESSAGES
<Darkness>	Then... allow me to show myself.
*	Darte quivers in barely contained rage.  "That's it? THAT'S IT? What was the point? What do we GAIN? That's what these trials are supposed to be about, right? WHAT?"
<Dex>	It was god damn FUN!
<Moulder>	AFTER
<Moulder>	THESE
<Moulder>	MESSAGES
<Dex>	I stole AND attacked the darkness.
<Dex>	Also I should return to my body now eh.
*	Dex returns to his bo day!
<DM>	*The darkness consolidates to a humanoid figure. The rest of the room lights up. Dex, because of your god darn shenanigans, you regain your god darn sight. Kirran, as a result of using light and darkness, you recover your ability to see properly along with your affinities.*
<Kirran>	Whew
<Dex>	WUT UP BITCHES I CAN SEE
<Darkness>	I am actually a Sheikah... well...
<Dex>	BUT FRIG THAT IM KEEPING THE BLINDFOLD ON!
<Dex>	Baller!
<Darkness>	What you see is an illusion of my creation. It was fun playing with you all.
<Red_Enrics>	WHAT UP BITCHES I STILL MARCH LIKE A GANAZI
<Red_Enrics>	(Get it? *shot*)
<Kirran>	Thank you for testing us.
*	Kirran bows
Darkness Darte
*	Darte stares daggers toward the Sheikah.
<Red_Enrics>	Well
<DM>	*Red_Enrics, you're still sober. Darte, you still can't feel your darn arms.*
<Darkness>	But now, the next test begins. The Essence of Light will come nex-
<Red_Enrics>	We'll continue to the next trial
*	Red_Enrics salutes
<Red_Enrics>	AFTER THESE MESSAGE
<Red_Enrics>	ES
<Red_Enrics>	FUCLKsdfp
<DM>	*Suddenly, a dark red spear stabs the illusion of darkness.*
*	Darkness looks down at the spear through his chest.
<Red_Enrics>	OH JESUS
<Dex>	KILL IT
<Darkness>	... that.... isn't.... gooooo-
*	Darkness fades away.
<Red_Enrics>	Well
<Red_Enrics>	That sucks
<DM>	*A voice echoes throughout the room.*
*	Darkness is now known as Voice
<Kirran>	I'm not sure that was supposed to happen guys.
<Red_Enrics>	He knew my dark secret that I won't tell anyone else. [/FuckinTeaser]
<DM>	*It's a different voice... a high, female voice that sounds sinister.*
<Voice>	Ahh, so this is where you were... taking this test with these goonies.
<Red_Enrics>	Goonies?
<Voice>	Well, we have a test of our own.
<Voice>	Would you like....
<Dex>	BABE RUTH!
<Dex>	HEEEY YOOOOOU GUUUUUYS
<DM>	*The flash of a devilish smile appears directly before Kirran's eyes.*
<Voice>	... to try it?
<Kirran>	(Cliffhanger ending?)
<Red_Enrics>	We shall decide...
<Red_Enrics>	After these messages!
<DM>	-=QUEST PAUSE=-