This is a conversation between Angela "Mercy" Ziegler and yourself, Blackwatch!Genji Shimada.
Angela "Mercy" Ziegler: "Genji," Angela started, her voice quiet as she checked on the cyborg. "Are you okay? I understand your transitioning is rough, but.." Angela started, placing her clipboard aside. "Can I get you anything?" She asked softly, as she tightened her ponytail. "I am here for you, if you need..?" Angela knew that Genji was in turmoil, but she wanted to do her best to help.
Blackwatch!Genji Shimada: In the past few days, he'd only been awake for short, scarce moments as he'd been put back together and repaired. It was tough, to say the least, and his body felt... wrong. It didn't feel like /his/ body. Though he lifted his right hand and saw the fingers move when he told them to, it still didn't feel real. That paired with the rage and betrayal boiling in his belly whenever he thought about /why/ he was here was enough to drive any man crazy. His voice was tight and sharp, and he practically snapped at her, though he knew she didn't deserve to be the target of his rage. "Do you really think I would be okay right now?" His bright red eyes locked onto her face. "I appreciate the offer, doctor--" he practically spat the word, "-- but I do not think there is much more that you can do unless you intend on allowing me out of this room to turn my blade against my family."
Angela "Mercy" Ziegler: Angela gave a quiet sigh, as she nodded her head. She knew such complications would arise, and that he wouldn't be okay. She didn't even know why she asked. "I meant.. bodily wise, and you know you'd have to speak to Reyes. I am not releasing you until I know you can hold your own. I wanted to know if you could perform simple tasks," Angela cringed at the thought of him hating her, for something he asked her to do. Angela /reluctantly/ pulled a chair up, picking her clipboard up. She tucked some hair behind behind her ear. "Are there any functionality complications I can work on with your prosthetics and cybernetics? I want to help as much as possible, but you need to talk to me to smooth these little bugs out." Angela noted his borderline hostility, trying to be careful.
Blackwatch!Genji Shimada: When he was given the choice to either die or be rebuilt to work for Overwatch, as a man on his deathbed, the choice was obvious. He'd been terrified of death and unwilling to give up on life just yet, but now... He held some regret knowing that this organization was unlikely to let him use his second chance at life to do what he truly wanted. Revenge was all he could think about, and when he closed his eyes, he saw himself ending the Shimada plague. Though he knew she was attempting to console and calm him, her tone somehow only fueled his rage. He managed to bite his tongue and turn his eyes away, though, and he forced out civil answers, attempting to be less snappy. "As far as I can tell, this body is functional." /This/ body. Not /his/ body. He didn't know if he could ever think of it as his. "I have not experienced any problems with it so far, aside from..." He glared down at his cybernetic arm. "Sometimes it feels like the limbs I lost are still there, and when that happens, it... hurts." His voice softens just slightly at the admission.
Angela "Mercy" Ziegler: Angela nodded a bit, relieved that he could at least function. It was a constant worry that he'd be at such odds with the form he had taken on, it would throw him into a depressive state. Angela could tell that the anger seeded from the depression and denial of this all, and she was trying to soothe him, but she knew that it would take time. "Genji.. everything heals in time. Trust me." Angela fell silent once he began to speak again, and she listened intently. Angela set her clipboard aside, and her eyebrows creased at his softened tone. "Genji.." Angela started quietly, as she leaned forward in her chair. "I.. I am sorry.. I know that I could never understand this.." Angela started, as she attempted to make eye contact. "But I am here for you. It is my job, and honestly.. my privilege to help you through this. Me, and all of your colleagues are here for you."
Blackwatch!Genji Shimada: Genji knew the old "time heals all wounds" saying, and while he wanted to believe it and look to the future, it was difficult in his current situation. All he really wanted was what he believed would be the immediate relief of seeking his revenge. It likely wouldn't feel as good as he hoped, but that was a bridge he would cross when he came to it. When she leaned forward, his eyes reluctantly met hers, and his frown began to fade. "You are too kind, Dr. Ziegler." It was difficult to funnel his rage towards her when she was being so caring towards him. "I am grateful for your concern. It is... comforting to know I am not alone." That last part was more for her benefit than his, but he felt it may help calm her worries. He let out a sigh. At least now his anger seemed to have faded, but it left an empty, aching feeling in its wake. "Did you have any more questions for me?"
Angela "Mercy" Ziegler: Angela leaned back in her chair, reaching for her coat. She slipped it on, and shook her head. "I.. I honestly don't believe you can handle more questions, Genji. I am not only concerned for your physical condition, I'm concerned for your mental condition. What I've subjected you to.. can take a toll." Angela rubbed her eyes, and sighed. "The only thing I need to know, is if I can get you anything. Do you need to speak about anything? I can lend an ear. I just fear you'll do something rash and.." Angela sighed as she shook her head, trailing off. "Of course you aren't alone. I am going to make this better," Angela promised him with a small, hope and determination filled expression. "I will.. fix this situation. This is only the beginning. I won't allow myself to rest, until I can get you feeling okay."
Blackwatch!Genji Shimada: She was probably right. More questions would only agitate him and bring back the anger, but now that it was gone, he almost wished he could be angry again instead of feeling so /empty/. Genji was tired of being the conversation subject, though, so he let it go. "I... I do not think I /can/ talk about anything. Not yet." Maybe he could. If he did that now, though, he'd just stir up his rage again and-- "What about you?" He quickly turned the subject towards her. "You are fighting a valiant and selfless cause, but you are much more human than I am. You still need more rest. Do not push yourself for my sake." His frown returned, and he searched her face quietly. "If you were harmed somehow from taking care of me, I would never be able to forgive myself."
Angela "Mercy" Ziegler: Angela nodded, understanding fully that he didn't wish to speak about himself, but she was most definitely shocked when the conversation was turned towards her. She listened, and nearly matched his frown. "You're just as human as anyone, Genji..--" Angela paused, falling silent to listen once more. Sure, she was tired, but this was more important. Quite frankly, she hasn't had much sleep. She's been incredibly worried about the turn out to this situation. "Genji, I will be fine. My sleep schedule is adapting. I am a medic. Meaning I am used to late nights such as these." Angela assured him gently, and leaned back. "Besides, I'm more worried about you. I want to be sure you're okay." Angela said, being sincere.
Blackwatch!Genji Shimada: He wanted to tell her that she didn't have to lie for his benefit, that he was obviously not entirely human anymore, but he bit his tongue again. That would only start an argument, and he was far too tired to argue at the moment. "Just because you are a medic does not mean you do not require rest. Getting very little sleep can't be good for you." His eyes bore into hers, staring at her intently. "Late nights cannot be endured day after day. Your exhaustion will catch up to you at some point." That would be the optimal time for him to attempt an escape, but... Somehow he felt that that would be some sort of betrayal to her. Genji couldn't care less about the desperate agreement he'd made to work for Overwatch in exchange for a new life; he just didn't want to upset Angela after all of her genuine work for him. "If you are not okay yourself, how will you ever be able to know that I am, as well?"
Angela "Mercy" Ziegler: Angela's frown slowly disappeared, as she reflected on his words, her gaze downcast. She crossed her arms, somewhat hugging herself. "I can rest when I am dead, Genji. I can assure you, I am perfectly fine!" Angela laughed softly, her fingertips covering her mouth slightly. "Who's the doctor here, hm?" Angela was teasing, but her laughter quieted down, as she looked down. "I trust you'll tell me if something is wrong." Angela explained, her smile remaining. "It is sweet that you.. /seem/ to worry about me, but I am fine." Angela honestly didn't know if he was just trying to get her to leave, or if he was actually concerned. "I never said I wasn't okay. I'm perfectly fine,"
Blackwatch!Genji Shimada: "Death is no laughing matter." His voice hardened, and he finally averted his eyes. "If you are dead, then no one will be able to bring you back. And if you continue to work yourself like this, your end may come sooner than expected." After the words left his mouth, he realized that they were vaguely threatening, but he did nothing to correct himself, hoping that she wouldn't take them the wrong way. "With how much concern you show for me, it is only fair that I do the same for you." Slowly, he looked back up at her. "If you want to know if anything at all is wrong, then I will inform you that everything about this new body feels wrong. It is not /my/ body. It feels strange and uncomfortable and--" He cut himself off, feeling that rage inside of him begin to boil again, his teeth clenching. "While I appreciate your effort, Dr. Ziegler, I cannot help but be disgusted with the product."
Angela "Mercy" Ziegler: Angela slowly nodded, luckily understanding him. Though, his hardened tone made her smile and light tone disappear with haste. Right back where she started. Angela slowly lost the optimistic sparkle in her eyes, as she leaned her head back. "I'd die doing what I love. It is a lovely way to go." Angela scoffed, but quieted a bit to listen to him. "Listen, Genji, you.. don't owe me any kindness. You could treat me like dirt, and I'd gladly continue my work." Angela sighed, watching him get angry once more. "Genji.. I am going to improve, but you must understand," Angela took a breath, and her shoulders sulked. "I am one woman, working on a complex problem. I am doing my best here, but it will take time. I will get better in time."
Blackwatch!Genji Shimada: "I'd rather not treat you like dirt." Even so, he knew it was possible for his anger to get the best of him at times. Maybe one day he could bring himself to apologize for the things he's said to her. Now, though, he could feel frustration beginning to build, his tone tightening. "I do understand. You wanted to know if anything was wrong, and I told you. It was not meant to blame you for anything or ask you for more, I just..." He let out an exasperated breath. "I am trying to be cooperative." After a small pause, he spoke up again, quieter this time, turning his head completely away from her. "My apologies."
Angela "Mercy" Ziegler: "Genji. Genji, I know. I was merely explaining setbacks. I understand this is all a lot to take in.. and I don't like seeing you so conflicted. Sometimes I wonder if I should just, drop it all, and leave you be. I just.. I'm worried that I'm doing more harm than good. I'm worried that I'm hurting you more and more, and eventually, you'll resent me and Overwatch as a result. You don't have to apologize. You shouldn't feel the need to apologize." Angela took a long pause, her frustrations now out for Genji to hear. She most certainly regretted saying that, but.. what was said, was said. Angela ran a hand through her ponytail. "I.. I should probably get back to work.. I don't need to keep you from your rest and recuperation." Angela rubbed her eyes, and went to stand up. The last thing she needed to do, was press Genji's buttons.
Blackwatch!Genji Shimada: Her shift in tone was almost immediate, and Genji felt as if she was speaking to him like a child. It hurt his pride, to say the least, knowing that she felt the need to be incredibly delicate around him, but he knew that that was probably for the best. He kept his head turned away, jaw set, as she spoke and then slowly glanced back towards her, still avoiding her eyes. "You are following orders by doing your work. If you cease your work on me, I doubt the commanders would be pleased. Besides," his voice cracked slightly and his tone softened, "if you give up now, then I may never feel better than this. You say that you are worried about doing more harm than good, but I doubt much more harm can be caused to me. You are the only thing attempting to do good for me at the moment." Part of him relished in the thought of being alone again, but a larger part of him feared the thoughts that isolation would bring. That part wanted to reach out, to tell her not to leave him here alone, but he stayed silent, unwilling to bother her for more than she's already done.
Angela "Mercy" Ziegler: Angela looked down, sighing a bit. "Let the commanders be upset. If you don't want this, it wouldn't be right for me to--" Angela dropped back down in her seat, an exasperated laugh leaving her lips. "That's the thing. I don't want to give up. I know that gradually, I can improve. It is human nature. I just don't know how much longer you'll permit me to subject you to more of this.." Angela sighed, covering her face. "I'm just worried, and tired." Angela murmured. "But don't get me wrong. I am so proud of you. You're taking it easier than I thought you would." Angela offered him a small smile. "I really thought it'd be worse. You're taking all of this better than I could have."
Blackwatch!Genji Shimada: Relief spread through him when she sat back down, but he kept it off of his face. She was obviously distressed now, though, and he felt it was mostly his fault. He needed to say something-- anything-- to help her feel better, but the right words just wouldn't come to him. His mouth opened and closed several times before he finally managed to force something out. "For now, I am willing to allow you to work all you need. It is... exhausting and unpleasant, but I trust you when you say that you can improve." Genji's hands clenched in his lap, and he swallowed nervously. "Even if I am unsure what, exactly, 'improvement' to this body is, I still trust you. I also think that you underestimate yourself and overestimate me. I... I am not as collected as I force myself to appear to be."
Angela "Mercy" Ziegler: Angela nodded a bit, seemingly relaxing a bit. She was a panicking mess on the inside, though. "Thank you.." Angela murmured softly, as she looked to him. "And as for the improvement, I'm thinking a smoother more functional design. Something more practical, that makes it easier." Angela explained, her voice soft, and a little more calm. "Thank you for trusting me.. it means more than you know." Angela paused to listen to him, a frown on her face as she reached out, impulsively grabbing his hand. "Hey. I don't expect you to be the most grounded person right now. I'm proud of you, because you are trying. You aren't denying treatment, and you see things as they are. I am proud of you Genji. I really am."
Blackwatch!Genji Shimada: Genji nodded, taking in her words. A quiet, almost hysterical giggle suddenly burst out of him, and he shook his head. "If I am to have any say in the design, I do like the color green." The laugh was gone as soon as it existed, and with it went his brief smile. As soon as her hand grabbed his, he jolted slightly in surprise, eyes wide and flicking down to where they were touching. The feeling of her skin against his remaining organic hand was grounding, somehow, and he gave her a light squeeze. His heartrate picked up-- which was, embarrassingly enough, displayed on the heartrate monitor nearby-- and when he spoke up again, his voice reflected just how dry his throat suddenly felt. "Thank you, Dr. Ziegler. That means a lot to me, as well."
Angela "Mercy" Ziegler: Angela found the laugh rather strange to hear at first, but then it hit her. /He laughed./ The idea of it made her laugh and grin, but she calmed herself down and nodded. "I'll be sure to incorporate that for your aesthetic. Green is a naturally soothing colour, you know? It's been proven. That's why they use it to represent good things, and approval." Angela smiled, nodding a bit. She glanced to the heart rate monitor, tilting her head. "Genji?" Angela started, pointing to the beeping monitor with a tilt of her head. "Are you okay?" She asked this, but left it at that. Angela smiled a bit at his gratitude. It wasn't necessary, but it was appreciated. Her smiled persisted on her features, but she shook her head. "Genji, you can call me Angela, if you want." She encouraged this, since hearing Dr. Ziegler was a bit strange to her now. Most people around base called her Angie, Ange, or Angela.