STRAFESCRIPTV6

STRAFE®
THE MOVIE
Now with 90% more original ideas
Written by Sgt Nate V


APRIL 1995
Somewhere in California, A grey-haired bespectacled scientist named Gordon types lines of code onto his computer. He finishes up and compiles the code into a program named ENGINE.EXE. He runs the executable and the monitor shows a simple first-person environment with grey rooms. Gordon exits and runs the program again. The rooms are different. Gordon’s program has changing levels.
GORDON (O.S.)
Success.
Gordon turns in his chair to face his phone. He opens a phonebook and dials the number for Pixel Titans, Los Angeles. He talks with the CEO of Pixel Titans, Stephen, who is a casual man in his 20’s with brown eyes and hair.
STEPHEN
Hello, this is Pixel Titans.
GORDON
I’ve finished another build of my engine. I’ll send it to you right now.
Gordon hangs up and inserts a blank copy disk. He copies the program to this disk and puts it in an envelope. He signs the envelope (PLACEHOLDER ADDRESS NAME, WILL UPDATE) and puts it in his mailbox. He raises the red arm and goes back into his house. The mailman comes, retrieves the envelope, and drives off in his truck. Back in Gordon’s house, he starts up the program again and walks through the newly generated level. Suddenly, he sees a strange creature with pointy ears, pale skin, long arms and large white eyes in an orange and black jumpsuit. This is a Glutton. He exits the program and checks out the code. He sees lines of code pop repeatedly pop in. Somehow, the game was generating more than just levels!
GORDON
What the hell?
Gordon starts the program up again and sees more stuff. Stalkers, tall, black hooded figures with plasma pistols, Carriers, terrifying creatures with pincers for limbs, corpses, blood, it’s all too realistic. He sees that the program has been renamed to STRAFE.EXE. He has an idea. He calls Stephen again.
GORDON
I just got some stuff done. I’ll send you what I have.
STEPHEN
I’d like to see what you’ve got.
Gordon copies the program to another disk and puts it in his mailbox.
JUNE
It is time again for E3; The Electronic Entertainment Expo. There are booths showcasing games. The Pixel Titans showcase is ready to begin. There are security guards in Pixel Titans clothing and Cameramen. The audience is eager to see what Pixel Titans has in store for this year. A man with a ponytail walks up in front of a large grid of screens.
SPOKESMAN
There is game. There is reality. But the question is, is it a game? Or is it reality?
The spokesman walks to the side and presses a button on a remote. The screens turn on. Each shows a small fragment of footage. Said footage is gameplay of STRAFE®. The audience is amazed! Tommy, messy hair, 17, however, rolls his eyes and claps with a smirk on his face. A Glutton runs up on screen and PUNCHES through the monitors! It SMACKS the spokesman down with its wrench and staggers toward the audience, which runs off, save for Tommy.
AUDIENCE MEMBER
TOMMY!
The Glutton is about land a blow on Tommy, but suddenly it turns into a green wireframe and fades away. He gets back up and the rest of the crowd, chattering about the whole event, walks back to their seats. The spokesman gets back up, wipes the blood off of his face, chuckles and holds up a floppy disk for STRAFE®.
SPOKESMAN
STRAFE®!
The crowd goes WILD!
MAY 1996
We slowly zoom in on footage of STRAFE® seen on a monitor. At one point, the footage freezes and everything turns into green wireframes on a black background. Once the screen is completely black, a news report BLIPS in. The headline is “STRAFE®: THE BEST GAME OF 1996”
REPORTER 1
Are you ready for STRAFE®? Studies say no.
Another news report. The headline says “MACHINE LETS YOU GO INTO STRAFE®”
At a graveyard, a local citizen is being interviewed. A headline below says “STRAFE® KILLS YOUNG BOY”
CITIZEN
First his face melted. Then his head exploded! He’s dead!
Another news report. The headline is “POPE’S THOUGHTS ON STRAFE®”
REPORTER 3
The Pope wade in, calling STRAFE® sick…as in F**king sweet!
Tommy enters a Babbage’s store in town. He picks up a big box copy of STRAFE® and a new monitor. He pays the cashier and heads home on his skateboard. Back at home, Tommy unplugs his old monitor and puts the new one in its spot. He inserts the installation disk for STRAFE® and executes INSTALL.EXE. Once the installation has finished, he starts up STRAFE.EXE. He grabs the shotgun and enters the teleporter into the Icarus. What follows is some quick cuts between Tommy and the game. Eventually, he dies in the game. But he doesn’t care.
TOMMY
This’ll be fun for my friends.
The next week, Tommy installs four more copies of STRAFE® onto the other computers in his basement LAN Club. Montage of him calling all his friends occurs after he installs the last copy. One hour later, all his friends come over. Mikey - Long hair, red and blue cap, 18 - Buddy - dark skin, yellow tank top, 17 - Jared - nerdy, hair, wears glasses, 15 - and Abby – ponytail, mauve shirt, 16 - sit at the other four computers.
TOMMY
Alright. The challenge today is to get past the first zone as fast as you can. Ready, set, GO!
Tommy and the others start playing. Jared dies only half-way through the first level. Buddy nearly makes it to the exit of the second level, which is farther than Abby was. Mikey almost finishes the third level but dies. Tommy is the winner. He slams his fist on the table and gets up from his chair.
TOMMY
YEAH! I always win!
JARED
Wow, Tommy, you’re so cool!
Weeks pass. Time-lapse shot of Tommy challenging others at STRAFE®. Eventually, Tommy becomes a well-known figure in the gaming community and is called to play against K-Train, A.K.A Keith Hockett, the only player that can rival him in a competition. Saturday comes, and Tommy heads toward the local auditorium. Once he gets there, he finds K-Train waiting for him. K-Train is Asian, wears sunglasses, has a flat top, age 20.
K-TRAIN
Took you long enough. I’ll pulverize you in this competition.
TOMMY
I’d like to see you try.
They sit at the computers set up for the challenge. Loaded on the computers is a special competition build of STRAFE® that contains only the second zone and is rigged to a timer showing the total times of each player.
COMPETITION HOST
On your mark. Get ready, get set, GO!
Tommy and K-Train start playing. K-Train finishes 2-1 before Tommy does. Looks like Tommy’s doomed from the start. But then in 2-2 shop, he robs a bag of steroids and a thruster pack and narrowly avoids the red turrets.
HOST
Looks like Tommy has gotten the steroids and thrusters! What do you think will happen next?
At 2-3, it’s all getting too intense for K-Train. He can’t seem to survive and be quick. Suddenly, he passes out from it all. Tommy finishes with a total time of 2:30. He gets up from the seat and the host holds his arm up. A blond supermodel comes in with a large check of $1996.
HOST
And the winner is Tommy!
The audience CHEERS.
Tommy exits into the backroom where Jared is waiting for him. Tommy sits in a director’s chair and opens a can of Surge.
JARED
No matter your score or Surge, we’ll be friends forever, right Tommy?
TOMMY
Yeah. Forever, Joby.
JARED
The name’s Jared, but I’ll take it!
The two laugh as they drink their Surge.
OCTOBER
A patch for STRAFE® is released, adding new content to the game. Tommy installs the patch and invites his friends to watch him play. He puts some pizza rolls in the microwave and get out some cans of Surge. Quick cuts between Tommy, the crowd, and STRAFE®. Eventually, his computer tower starts heating up and smoking. Abby emits a worried cry.
ABBY
Tommy, STOP!
Too late. The monitor goes FLYING off the table!
TOMMY
Out of the way!
Soon, everyone has calmed down.
TOMMY
We need more RAM.
The next week, Tommy plugs the RAM sticks into his computer. Once he is done, he calls Abby.
TOMMY
Hey babe, wanna watch me play STRAFE®?
ABBY
Let’s order Pizza!
Tommy ends the call and calls the local Pizza Hut.
TOMMY
One large pepperoni pizza.
PIZZAMAN
That’ll be $19.99.
Later, Abby comes in. Shortly after, the Pizzaman is at the door. Tommy tips him and takes the pizza. The Pizzaman looks at the screen with a sinister grin.
PIZZAMAN
He’ll have to not die.
Tommy plays STRAFE® with Abby by his side. Cue gameplay footage.
ABBY
Wow, you beat your own record! You win a fat slice!
She kisses him on the cheek and goes to get a slice of pizza. Unknown to her, it has been hacked with a computer chip with a timer on it! Tommy notices just before he can take a bite.
TOMMY
A hacked slice!
He KNOCKS the pizza slice out of Abby’s hands. It lands on the ground and the timer reaches zero. A beam of light from the monitor GRABS Abby! Tommy STRUGGLES and tries to PULL her out, to no avail. Abby is sucked in and all Tommy is left with is her pants. He pulls out a photo of him and her and lets a single tear drop onto it.
The next day, Tommy has Mikey, Buddy and Jared gathered up in his house.
TOMMY
We have to go into STRAFE® and get Abby back!
JARED
How? We’re elite but we can’t hack for shit Tommy!
TOMMY
The man who programmed STRAFE® lives nearby. I heard rumors that he’s built a rift between STRAFE® and the real world. Are you all going with me?
MIKEY
We’re supposed to be training for STRAFE®-CON!
TOMMY
Fine! I’ll go alone!
BUDDY
I’ll take you there.
Out in the streets of L.A., Buddy drives Tommy to Gordon’s house. Once there, he drops him off.
TOMMY
I’ll call you when I’m done!
Tommy knocks on Gordon’s door. Gordon comes out.
TOMMY
Are you Gordon?
GORDON
Yes, what are you here for?
TOMMY
I’ll tell you when we get inside.
Inside Gordon’s house, there are multiple monitors on a table. The dining room has a half-eaten sandwich on a plate.
GORDON
Alright kid. What do you want to tell me?
TOMMY
STRAFE® took my girlfriend Abby and I need your help getting her back!
Gordon’s face goes pale. His eyes widen. Something has happened to him before involving STRAFE®.
GORDON
How did it take her?
TOMMY
Well, I ordered some pizza, and one of the slices was hacked, and it caused the game to pull her in!
Gordon sits at his computer and turns on a demo of STRAFE®.
Tell me what you know about STRAFE®.
TOMMY
The changing levels. I have never played a game before in my life that could do that.
GORDON
Go on.
TOMMY
The gameplay. Doom nor Quake is as fast and intense as that!
GORDON
I see.
TOMMY
And the graphics. It’s just not possible! No man could create graphics that realistic!
GORDON
No man did. STRAFE® autogenerated itself into existence.
TOMMY
What, like God?
GORDON
Except God wouldn’t stand a chance against STRAFE®. But you might.
Gordon gets up from his chair and heads toward the basement.
GORDON
Come with me to the basement.
Tommy follows him. Down in Gordon’s basement, there is a large machine resembling a blue cube. There are tons of cables and wires surrounding it and a large blue pillar on the ceiling above it.
GORDON
This machine will take you into STRAFE®. It was used for the Glutton attack at E3. The man who planned the event wanted to use the machine for more things. I couldn’t let him. It was too dangerous. He was fired from Pixel Titans. He must have hacked the pizza.
TOMMY
But how do you know all this?
GORDON
It was my experiment that spawned STRAFE®. It was a simple program with changing levels. The rest seemed to pop in. I sent it to Pixel Titans so it could be published as a game. I never told them the truth about it. STRAFE® was popular. But things soon went wrong. STRAFE® ruined my life. STRAFE® killed my son!
Tommy walks up to the machine. He goes up the steps to the control panel.
TOMMY
Here goes nothing.
Tommy presses a button and a helmet lowers from the ceiling pillar. The screen fades to white.
The screen fades back to the Icarus, the first zone of STRAFE®. The place is grey-paneled with numerous toxic waste pools and blood around it. Gluttons, Stalkers and other monsters alike populate the ship. A green sphere appears on and fades away to reveal Tommy holding the shotgun. He examines it before shooting an incoming Glutton. He jumps over a pit of toxic waste and fills a Stalker with buckshot point-blank. A Carrier drops from the ceiling. He dodges and kicks it into the toxic waste. Tommy runs around the Icarus and comes across a dead body holding a key. Upon grabbing it, a nearby door opens. Tommy enters the door and sees a Pyro throw a grenade straight at him! He ducks and the grenade hits a Sluggard behind him.

BOOM!
The Sluggard explodes in a hail of gibs. Tommy is hurt by the explosion and fires a flak grenade at the Pyro. The red shards of flak SLICE and DICE its limbs and one hits a grenade strapped to it! The Pyro explodes! Tommy reloads the shotgun with a drum magazine he magically pulls out of his pocket. In the next room, several Globrites fly out of a hive high up on a wall. After shooting them out, Tommy fires upon the hive itself, causing it to spew acid and scrap. Tommy puts the scrap in his pocket, unaware of the King Jelly charging right at him! He dodges and the King Jelly hits the wall, BURSTING into a small shower of blood. A wall opens up across the room, revealing several Gluttons and Turrets. Tommy fires another flak grenade at the crowd, throwing blood, gibs, gears and cogs everywhere! He makes it to the exit and SMASHES the control panel with his shotgun, opening the door. He enters the elevator and it automatically goes up. Suddenly, it jams.
TOMMY
What the-
The doors SNAP off and Tommy is sent SLIDING down a wall. He looks around and sees the wreckage of the Icarus. He’s in the Black Canyon now. Up ahead is a tunnel. Tommy walks through the tunnel and sees that the path is covered by a rockslide. At his feet is another corpse, this time holding an Ion Tank. Tommy knows that the Ion Tank will explode when placed on the rockslide and runs for cover after doing so.
BOOM!
The rocks collapse! Tommy gets back up and sees the Black Canyon in all of its glory. Harvesters, giant red and white scorpion-like creatures with an exoskeleton populate the place alongside more Stalkers and Gluttons. Some of the Stalkers here, however, look different and have tan cloaks. Tommy shoots the head of the first Harvester he sees. He SNATCHES a Stalker’s pistol and fills it with Plasma energy. During his rampage, he passes a large rock. The rock unfurls to reveal a Brick, a large monster that poses as rocks. Upon seeing the Brick, Tommy RUNS away! He spies a Rocket Launcher leaning against a wall. He fires a rocket at the Brick, causing it to expose its stomach. Another rocket, and it BLOWS apart! Tommy runs to the next area and sees several Gluttons closing in on Abby.
TOMMY
Abby!
Tommy kills the Gluttons.
ABBY
Tommy!
But there is another Abby! This Abby is low-poly and speaks in a text-to-speech voice, but STRAFE® is so realistic, Tommy can’t tell the difference!
FAKE ABBY
Tommy.
Tommy is confused! He must kill one or the other. He aims at the real Abby first.
ABBY
Tommy, your favorite Ninja Turtle is Michelangelo!
He aims at the Fake Abby.
FAKE ABBY
Tommy. Your favorite video game is STRAFE®. You have played for ninety-five hundred hours and twenty-one minutes.
TOMMY
You can’t fool me, STRAFE®.
Tommy shoots the real Abby.
FAKE ABBY
Twenty-two minutes.
Tommy and Fake Abby trek across the Black Canyon. Tommy kills more and more monsters.
TOMMY
GET US OUT!
Back in Gordon’s house, Gordon pulls some switches and a hole in the ceiling opens up. Tommy – shotgun still in hand - and Fake Abby fall from the hole. Gordon checks on Tommy.
GORDON
Are you okay kid?
TOMMY
Yeah, I’m fine.
Tommy calls Buddy on Gordon’s phone.
TOMMY
Yeah, it’s done, you can come over now.
Tommy and Fake Abby board Buddy’s car and they drive back to Tommy’s house.
DECEMBER
It’s time for the first annual STRAFE®-CON, a convention themed around STRAFE®. Millions of players are attending the convention. There are attendees in STRAFE® costumes. There is STRAFE® merchandise. Thom Glunt and Stephen Raney, the two founders of Pixel Titans, are there too. Tommy, Jared, Mikey, Buddy and Fake Abby have come to the convention. Tommy is keeping his shotgun in a backpack he is wearing. Several computers are lined up in rows and blocked off by a chain and guards. They are all hanging out when suddenly, Fake Abby runs off somewhere. Tommy chases after her.
TOMMY
Abby! Where are you going?!
Several security guards notice her and start chasing her too.
GUARD 1
What the hell is she doing?!
Fake Abby is in the control room and she connects cables and flicks switches. She then presses a button and she starts glowing green.
TOMMY
Oh no.
He looks down to see that she has pants. The real Abby lost her pants.
TOMMY
Oh hell no.
The computers turn on. The monitors glow white. A Glutton’s arm BURSTS from one monitor and the rest of it JUMPS out! It BASHES an attendee’s skull with its wrench! A guard shoots it down, but he is soon FRIED by a Stalker’s plasma bolt. More and more STRAFE® monsters appear. The guards at the control room run out to kill more monsters. Tommy stays and is pissed.
FAKE ABBY
I cannot believe you fell for my trick. Have a nice death.
TOMMY
Not if you die first!
Tommy gets out his shotgun.
FAKE ABBY
You are so cute.
Tommy doesn’t care. He BLASTS Fake Abby’s head to bits. He runs out and starts shooting every monster he sees. Buddy, Mikey and Jared have already been torn to bits by the Gluttons. A flak grenade takes them out. Tommy exits the convention to see that STRAFE® has already taken L.A. for itself.
TOMMY
Shit.
 A Stalker shoots a man’s arm off. A Carrier eats the insides of another. Globrites fly high. Gluttons run amok. A Glutton growls up close to the screen before being shot down. It’s Tommy. He kills more and more Gluttons. He runs through L.A., killing all he sees and stops in front of the Pixel Titans building. There are Gluttons all over it and blood on the windows. There’s a dead guy in front of the door. Tommy gets his sunglasses and shoots the door open. All the Gluttons turn to face him.
TOMMY
Today’s menu?
Tommy pumps the shotgun.
TOMMY
Loads and loads of buckshot.
He starts firing upon the horde as fast as he can.