Ponifus Manifestus 1

>Upon awakening, your head is pounding
>Last night was hell
>In fact, you might've had too much to drink anyway, this looks like something out of a cartoon
>Wait a fucking minute
>This shading looks familiar
>And all these creatures do too
>Aw fuck man, you can't possibly be in Equestria, that's just silly
>That'd be incredible but just not practical as far as all things are concerned.
>Clutching your head, you sit up and notice a pair of what appear to be ponies staring at you from a distance
>But that's not possible, that's just the alcohol-
>"It's up! Everypony hide!"
>They all duck behind trees and pretend you didn't see them
>This can't be really happening can it?
>Truly?
>Ponies? And you're here with them? Now?
>Unbelievable
"None of this is real, it's all a horrid dream...right?"
>One peeks its head out
>"I-It can speak our language?"
>These simpletons. You swear.
"Of course I can. Plain and simple English. How hard can it be?"
>You still think you're hallucinating but you decide to humour your more curious half and attempt to converse with them
"So, where am I?"
>"Be careful! It could be a practitioner of evil, dark-"
>"Oh Twilight, how can you say that? It's obviously just an animal far from home that's capable of speaking like one of us. Stop it with your ghastly-"
>"CAN WE INVITE IT TO A PARTY?"
>"No way are we inviting it back to Ponyville! It'd tear the place up! I mean, just look at those muscles! They're HUGE!"
>"Why in tarnation are we pretendin' it can't hear us? If it can speak our tongue than it knows we're just ignorin' it!"
>"A-Applejack's right...we should talk to this beautiful creature that's g-graced us with its presence..."
>Silence for a moment
>"Fluttershy, you're great with animals, YOU go talk to it."
>"Oh Rainbow, I can't even get out of the house most days when a new creature shows up, even if it's as small as Angel Bunny...h-how am I supposed to talk to such a gorgeous, strong,creature of another universe?"
>Hearing a multitude of sighs, it appears this is not out of the ordinary for this kind of refusal
>"I'm tired of y'all takin' forever! I'll go speak to the varmint!"
>An orange pony you guess to be Applejack steps forward out of the bushes and puts on a grin
>"Howdy critter, my name's-"
"Applejack, yes I know. I gathered as much from your little pow-wow behind the bushes."
>"Powhuh?"
"A pow-wow. Nevermind, it's not important. Listen, can you tell me? Am I really in Equestria?"
>"Darn tootin' partner! You're in the Everfree Forest! Scared the apples right outta poor Fluttershy when she found ya' on the ground with that nasty lookin' lump on your head!"
>You put a hand to your head and feel for the first time since you woke up
>There is a rather impressive goose egg on the left side of your forehead
>That explains the pounding and aching, and even the hallucinations!
"Oh what a relief, I'm not really here!"
>"No, you really are here, pardner, I'm here to tell you, since none of the other ponies behind that there bush will talk to yah, that we understand and wish to take care of yah!"
"I don't need taking care of, I'm not an animal."
>A whimper is heard behind the bushes, and catches you offguard
>Not one to be stopped easily, you continue onwards
"I'm a member of the dominant species where I'm from. I'm a human, a Homo Sapiens according to taxonomy. A man, a male..."
>You see the bewildered look of Applejack
>Sighing heavily
"...stud, stallion..."
>"OHHHH! I wondered about that, you got them funny clothes on and we didn't dare peel them off in case that was actually a part of yer skin or somethin'!"
>Sighing harder, you realize you literally don't remember the last time you ate or drank
"What I wouldn't give for some food..."
>"No problem! What do you eat?"
"Well, we humans are omnivores. Though I prefer meat to an all vegetarian diet. I presume since you resemble the horses from where I'm from you eat exclusively vegetables..."
>"That's right! Except for them pegasi, sometimes when they have a long ways to fly, you can find one fishing for...well fish! Haha!"
>Applejack at least could face you
"How many of your friends are behind that bush? I heard at least 5 other voices..."
>"Woah! Are you sure you're not magical? Cause, that's exactly how many's there! Twi, Rainbow, Pinkie, Rarity, and Fluttershy! Come on out here!"
>Slowly, from the bush, 5 other ponies emerge
>Caution in their every step, one of the pegasi looks at you with narrowed eyes
>The other one can't even look you in the face
"Care to introduce me?"
>"Sure thing! Twi's that funny lookin' one over there with both wings and a horn, they call them an 'alicorn'. Rarity's the unicorn, Rainbow's the blue pegasus, Fluttershy's the one who can't look at yah, and Pinkie's the..well, pink pony!
"My, you're all quite something. My name's..."
>You stop and think for a minute
>You can't remember your name at all
>You'll decide to stick with the age old standby
"...Anonymous. But you can call me Anon."
>"Isn't that just a word for-"
"Yes, it is. Do you have a problem? I don't think you'll get me confused for another one of my kind."
>"...fair enough."
>Twilight seems almost overly cautious of you
>Rainbow looks like she's going to pick a fight with you
>Applejack's looking around nervously, hoping her friends won't pick a fight with you
>Pinkie's making something out of the dirt nearby
>Fluttershy's trying to bury her head
>Rarity's looking rather...neutral
>You'll try speaking to her next
"I trust you were the rather sophisticated voice from behind the bush?"
>Her eyes beam
>"Why yes, I was! Thank you ever so much for taking note of me! I run the Boutique back in Ponyville, making dresses and suits and clothes for everypony to wear! I've won many awards from Canterlot and-"
>She stops herself
>"Where are my manners? It's impolite for a mare to speak about herself like this instead of her accomplishments doing so on their own. What did you do before you came here?"
>Before?
>You hardly remember the time, but you think it might've had something to do with history
>Studying the lands of Earth at length and knowing all the geo-political situations through all of time
>What caused them
>Wars that occurred
>You believe you might've been a historian
"I studied history before I found myself here."
>Twilight perked up at this
>"History you say? My, you certainly get more interesting the more you talk-"
>Rarity is cut off by Twilight
>"So you are a scholar as well, Anon?"
"Well, given my memory's as fuzzy as the fur on a cat, I'd say the fact that I remember it at all is miraculous."
>"I study here too, but more of the magic and way it affects life here. In fact, I'm a princess and student of the princess that rules all of Equestria! Well there is two but one is considered the primary ruler."
"That's terribly interesting. We'll need to talk more later on this subject-"
>You're interrupted by Rainbow smacking you in the chest with a hoof
>"How do we know you're not just going to go insane and kill all of us? Huh? With one of your paws, you could choke the life out of all of us, with no-"
"Let me stop you right there. I'm not given to violence usually. And for another, you seem so obsessed with strength and musculature. I presume you are an athlete yourself?"
>"Yeah! That's right and don't you-wait, huh? You're not intimidated by me?"
>You mentally chuckle for a moment before letting this one's air out
"Intimidated? Hardly. I've faced down creatures that would make all of you combined seem like mere child's play."
>They all look at each other
>"What's a....child?"
>That one really hits home
>And reminds you that you definitely aren't at home anymore
"Children are like....foals, I guess you'd all them. Colts would be boys, Fillies would be girls, stallions a man, mares a woman..."
>"That's some strange naming if I've ever heard it!"
>Twilight looks positively fascinated
>You look at Pinkie
"Is she alright-"
>The look on the face of the pink earth pony catches you off guard.
>It looks like she learned all of the mysteries of the universe at the same time, as her pupils shrink to the size of needles.
>Pinkie draws in a deep breath while, somehow, manages to float in mid-air.
>A verbal assault pours from her mouth in an unintelligible string of words.
>She bounces up and down and moves from the tree to tree, some how teleporting from one tree hole to another tree branch and hops out of Twilight's mane as she simply will not stop talking.
>As Pinkie leaps towards you, you grab her in midair by the face and press a finger to her lips.
>You make a shushing sound
"Please, I still have a major headache. Quieter and slower."
>"Sorry! I just got all excited that I have yet another new friend to add to my list of friends! I love making new friends!"
"It's alright but I' a bit sensitive to loud noises right now. Can we talk more later?"
>She nods quietly
>So that's Twilight, Pinkie, Applejack, Rarity, Rainbow and...
>Fluttershy
>She hasn't said a word to you just yet
"Fluttershy, I know it's in your name, but you've been awful quiet. Are you upset that I'm here?"
>"N-no..."
"What's going on then, Fluttershy?"
>Twilight pipes up
>"She's probably just upset that you're rather good looking, or something liked that."
>You shake your head
>Deciding you'll speak to Fluttershy at length later, you decide it's time to ask about a place to sleep
"This may sound absolutely ridiculous, but I need to sleep off this migraine, do any of you have a place I could stay?"
>Rainbow was the first to deny you, citing you couldn't stand on clouds
>Twilight offered you a place in the library
>Rarity offered you to sleep in the Boutique for a night
>Applejack offers you to sleep out at her farm
>This sounds like the clear choice, you don't want to alarm all the ponies
"I'll take you up on that, Applejack."
>You follow her down to her ranch
>She carefully makes you a bed of hay out in the barn
>"Now if y'all need anything, just come up to the house and get it, and if ya can't find it, find one of us an' we'll show yah!"
"Thanks Applejack. You're a lifesaver."
>You take your place on the hay and fall fast asleep, taking no time at all to get to sleep
>Dreaming of technicolor ponies that talk

>Upon awakening, you find that you have been slept well past the rising time of the rest of the farm's residents
>You sit up, thankful your head no longer hurts
>Stepping outside, the sun warms your skin
>It feels so good now as opposed to being really annoying and causing distress
>Applejack's sitting under a tree, which seems unusual for someone who seems like such a hard worker
>Walking over to her, you lean down and tip up her Stetson
"Applejack, what's the matter?"
>"Well....naww, don't need to burden nopony bout this.."
"Well, if you insist, I don't mean to pry, I don't want to be a rude guest..."
>"That's alright sugarcube, I might talk to you about it later, it's just not a major concern right now."
"Suit yourself. I'm easy. So when's breakfast?"
>"Breakfast was hours ago, y'all slept through it. But I'll give ya a few bits and you can getcherself some in town."
"That won't be necessary, I'll just meet Pinkie, she said she had cake to show me and I could go for something a bit sweet right now."
>You set off towards town, until you realize that you don't remember which way to town
"Hey Applejack, which way-"
>"Turn the other way, and take the road all the way!"
"Thanks again! I'll be back later!"
>Heading the proper direction now, you head towards town