admiral 2

“i don’t want to leave you.”

“you can’t help me if you get caught.”

archer can’t stop replaying that conversation in his head. he’s been sneaking into the laboratory to see shinji ever since he found him, to let him exist without unforgiving metal restraints and various apparatuses attached to him. he wants to give shinji the comfort of being held by another person, one who he knows isn’t going to harm him. archer shifts in his position on the sterile, white floor welcoming shinji into his lap. sharp pangs invade his chest when he watches shinji struggle and pant and groan as the objects filling him move and grate against each other. archer runs his fingers through shinji’s hair and gently wipes away his tears, careful not to acknowledge them with words. mostly they’re quiet, though archer sometimes can’t help but murmur “i’ve got you” softly to him, but feeling like it’s half a lie. every moment since he’s met shinji he’s wanted nothing more than to take him far away from this place; from everyone. while shinji insists archer has to be patient and that he’ll know when the time is right, it takes all of his discipline to not throw punches until he gets what he wants; what shinji so desperately needs.

today, after hours, archer sneaks back into the lab. just as the door softly clicks shut, a stunted scream echoes into the hall. archer instantly tears into a run, all but bursting into shinji’s room. his name is breathlessly on the tip of his tongue, but his mouth falls open when he sees him, arching against his restraints and sobbing. shinji has been outfitted in a muzzle, leaving archer to quickly wonder why anyone would do this to him; why are they treating him like a feral creature?  when archer frees him from the restraints, shinji crumples into his arms. unhooking the muzzle, he gently shushes shinji comfortingly as he smashes his face against archer’s chest and sobs into the fabric.

archer can feel shinji’s entire body tense as he groans, shaking his head. “no, no, no...” archer can’t help but look him over to see what the matter is, but hasn’t the faintest idea. he presses his lips against shinji’s forehead and whispers that he’s here and whatever is wrong, he can help. shinji chokes out a strained “no” as his hands move to his stomach and he curls inward. it’s then that archer notices how far apart his legs are and just how hard his body is convulsing. his face turns white.

“are you—“
“don’t look at me!”

shinji snaps, gritting his teeth. it’s obvious that he isn’t angry, just overwhelmed. tears streak against his shameful expression. he doesn’t want archer to see him like this. it’s too much. shinji looks as if he’s about to speak again when another painful contraction rips through him and he lets out a strained cry. his legs are shaking so hard that archer can feel it, so he gently takes shinji into his arms and tries to lie him down. there are only small, pathetic sounds of resistance. quaking legs still spread and fingers gripping the thin fabric covering his stomach, shinji looks lightheaded. archer quietly begs for shinji to stay with him.

placing his hands over shinji’s, archer tries to calm him with affection. even through shinji’s fingers he can feel how tight his stomach is. his stretched, ripped muscles contract and shinji squeezes tears from his eyes as he starts hyperventilating. with a wet sob, an egg lightly clicks against the floor. archer can’t help but gape at it, realizing he doesn’t understand the amount of pain shinji feels in the slightest. it’s also then that archer notices that shinji  is still just as round and heavy as before. how many of them are there?

it takes hours.

in all, there were just short of twenty eggs stuffed into shinji’s lithe, tiny frame. he twitches from overstimulation in archer’s arms, covered in sweat and mumbling sounds that aren’t even close to words. archer is kissing him, overwhelmed by his own emotions, and telling him how great he did and how strong he is and how it’s all over now. how he’s going to be able to rescue him soon and everything will finally be okay.

reluctantly, archer leaves him before the work day begins so they aren’t caught. the following day he has a meeting on a galactic envoy space station and he isn’t able to visit. it’s impossible to concentrate; all that archer can think about is how much he hated leaving shinji there in pain and how much he wants to make up for it. he thinks of what exactly he wants to say as he walks down the hall and opens the door to shinji’s room.

it’s silent.

archer feels a chill up his spine when his footsteps echo to the ceiling.

his heart drops when he sees shinji, lying against floor with his eyes completely glazed over. he’s too weak; too heavy to move. archer doesn’t even realize he’s brought his hand to cover his mouth, holding back his urge to scream in distressed horror.

shinji is full of eggs again.
they did this to him. they held him down and stuffed him full and he doesn’t understand why. there are tears collecting in the corners of his eyes as he realizes just how desperate this situation really is. he’s got to do something for shinji before this kills him.

softly, archer approaches him and unhooks his restraints, minding his purple and green bruised wrists. allowing shinji to find some sort of comfort with his head in his lap as he wrecked body protests. his eyes fall closed and his expression is pinched, but the way he exhales lets archer know that he’s helping. he just wishes he could do more right now.