The Minor Irritant

Jul 10th, 2013
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  1. >You are Anonymous, the most notorious supervillain Equestria has ever beheld.
  2. >But the public does not know your true name. They all know you as The Minor Irritant.
  3. >You’re a ruthless terrorist intent on striking fear into the hearts of all ponies everywhere!
  4. >And today will see the culmination of your most dastardly deed thus far!
  5. >Your target, Princess Celestia herself, strolls merrily down the streets of Canterlot.
  6. >You mingle with the crowd of four foot tall ponies, blending in seamlessly with the crowd, utterly undetectable amongst the sea of knee high horses.
  7. >When Celestia is at her most unsuspecting, eagerly waving to a friend she must see behind you, you strike.
  8. >Faster than the eye can follow your hand darts out and hurls the chosen implement of doom at the distracted princess.
  9. >Your weapon flies ever closer, each second bringing her that nearer to doom.
  10. >Suddenly you hear a great cry of “NOOOOO!” emerge from the crowd.
  11. >Your arch nemesis, Random Act of Kindness, bursts from the ponies and leaps at the princess, attempting to intercept your projectile.
  12. >The guards panic at the seemingly unprovoked attack on their princess by this lunatic mare and jump into action, pinning her to the ground and preventing her from attaining her goal.
  13. >Your weapon reaches the princess right in time for her to step on top of it.
  14. >”Oh darn.” she mutters as she steps on the small pebble you tossed. “Scuffed my horseshoe.”
  15. “HAHAHAHAHA! VICTORY! WHAT KIND OF PATHETIC GOD CAN BLEED?” you shout, vanishing into the shadows.
  16. >Princess Celestia turns to the pony next to her in confusion.
  17. >”Twilight, what are Anon and Pinkie doing?”
  18. >She sighs in irritation. “They’re just playing, go along with it. And pretend like you don’t know it’s them, it makes them happier.”
  19. >”What?”
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