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- Maria Kawamura Matthew Werth Advanced B RWG 11 August 2019
- Pros And Cons of Online Dating
- Long time ago, when there were no tools to contact people, how did they show their love
- to each other? How did people find the lover and fall in love with? There had no choice but they met in person and took a face to face communication. Nowadays, a virtue of sophisticated technology, we can use Internet which allows us to contact people even if we are in different places. We can even call in different countries. As the Internet becomes popular among people, the number of people who use Online dating is also getting to increase at the same time. Even though the industry of Internet dating has just started, it has already attracted millions of people and it has been widespread around the world. Some people doubt Online dating is trustful, safe and useful. However, the result of Online dating is beyond their expectations.
- Online dating is a type of app or online website where a person can add their profile online with the opportunity to connect with other people to arrange a date and the possibility of being in a relationship with this person. (Cambridge English Dictionary) Classically, when a person wanted to date, she would have to meet a person in the real world and start a date from there. That method did not leave many options open. However, online, users provide their personal information such as location age gender and physical appearance before they search and
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- find their partners. Some Online dating website or app charge fee for users. Users have to pay monthly to access to information. Contrary, other apps such as Tinder is free for everyone to use.
- Online dating is a relatively new phenomenon obviously. Even though it does not have a long history, the process of advent of Online dating is fascinating. It dates back as far as 1959. In 1959, Stanford students Jim Harvey and Phil Fialer did an experiment and matched 49 men and 49 women using questionnaire and computer. This idea is not famous in the world but this is known as the first challenge at a matchmaking service. In 1965, Havard students Jeff Tarr and Vaughan Morrill used a questionnaire and and IBM 1401 to match people in terms of their similarities. It cost 3 dollars to fill out a questionnaire. In 1995, the World Wide Web was used for people who want to travel in or through in order to find a date before Online dating websites appears. According to a research, the term " Online Dating" is searched over 135,000 times a month in a current society. In 1998, by the advent of email, people were able to send messages easily and quickly. Nowadays, email is necessary for business people to contact others and organize daily tasks. In 2000, the online dating, eHarmony, was made by Dr. Neil Clark Warren. This service was made for people who are looking for a long term relationships. In 2003, a free chat video service called Skype made a long distance relationships more easily because couples can see partners and hear voices each other over the screen. In 2007, by the invention of smartphones, people become to use dating apps. In 2012, apps based on location and social discovery applications begin to be famous. Also, the function of swiping left and right which means liking and disliking was introduced. Although using Online dating would benefit society, it could also potentially bring some adverse effects including problems with dangers and risks of being raped, time consuming, and not meeting people's expectations.
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- The first potential disadvantage of using Online dating is risks and dangers. Talking to people online can be especially dangerous to children. According to an MSNBC investigation, older men and pedophiles use Online dating website to find young girls. Even if people tell an individual only their name and the town they live in, he may still be able to track them down and show up in front of them suddenly. Older men can also try to convince younger girls to meet in person for the purpose of sex. Not only young girls but also adult women could get raped. Mcintosh, Claire, journalist for SKOUT Inc, offers brief information about several location-based dating applications (apps) for mobile devices, which connect users in a specific geographic location. She says, "When connecting face-to-face, don't leave your safety to chance. One user of a mobile meetup site reported being drugged and raped by a man who indicated he wanted to be friends." Not giving out information over the internet on a first date, such as financial information or your address is really important to protect ourselves.
- The second problem of using Online dating is time consuming. Wendy L. Patrick, Ph.D. journalist for red flags explains with so many options, online dating can be time consuming given the enormous amount of potential partners to choose from. She says "In fact just knowing how many options exist online can decrease commitment to an offline partner." Having too many options can certainly be overwhelming, and some people can end up not giving up them live alone. People can get overwhelmed by enormous choices and could lose their mind. Making worse, some people can not choose one person and finally they choose to be single.Maybe this is why some of us are so picky. Because we have an expectation that we can find perfect partners who meet our ideals, we keep chatting with different people at the same time and finding perfect ones. We can not choose one person unless we throw this habit immediately.
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- The final argument against using online dating is expectations are not met because of lacking information about people. ELI J. FINKEL an associate professor of social psychology at Northwestern University and BENJAMIN R. KARNEY a professor of social psychology at the University of California, Los Angeles states they doubt that a mathematical formula can really identify pairs of singles who are especially likely to have a successful romantic relationship. They say, "Yet our review of the literature reveals that aspects of relationships that emerge only after two people meet and get to know each other — things like communication patterns, problem-solving tendencies and sexual compatibility — are crucial for predicting the success or failure of relationships." Compared to face-to-face interaction, communication through computers is lacking some of the information such as real personalities which is hard to realize over the only text communication. As a result, it is more difficult to evaluate a potential match online. Thus the communication over the computer may be short of real emotions.
- In conclusion, there are several arguments against the use of Online Dating. First, there are dangers and risks because thousands of rapes are committed by online predators. Second, using online dating can be time consuming because there are too many choices to choose there. Lastly, your expectations of people who met online are sometimes ruined because it’s really hard to know yourself and write down own characteristics. Although there are three cons of meeting someone online either by app or dating website, it should be used because it would help people who are shy, save time, and find better matches. In fact, one in five relationships now begin online and a couple million people match online in a day.
- The first potential advantages of using Online dating is that it is easier to talk if people are feeling shy when they communicate with people in person. Shimcha Grassman, journalist for
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- Odyssey discusses pros and cons of Internet dating. She says "For people who are shy or have some form of anxiety, online dating provides a good alternative to still meet new people, without any sort of face to face interaction." This shows not having to talk to an actual person allows people to feel more comfortable opening up and talking in general. People tend to want to have a face to face meeting with the person to find out if there's chemistry after they talk for a while. For people that are not outgoing, they can take some time online to get to know someone. When people meet for the first time, it is not necessary that everyone can talk without feeling nervous and talk about what they want to say smoothly. However, online dating provides time to think about what they want to say with such shy people and takes the pressure of social interactions off.
- Another reason for using Online dating is that it can save time. If people are very busy and have a hard time making time to date, online dating can help them make time. They can date or contact people online during a break from work or late at night when they do not have something to do. Jeremy Nicholson, M.S.W., Ph.D. The Attraction Doctor, gives an analysis of online dating in the U.S differed in three main areas including 1)Access, 2)Matching, and 3)communication. He says "Online dating offers a number of ways to get to know a potential date before meeting in person. Such computer-mediated communication allows for safe and convenient interaction, without much risk or time commitment." This shows the benefit of Online Dating in terms of communication. Because they do not have to meet in person before getting to know each other, waste of time never happens. For example, people whose jobs are really hard such as doctors and professors can use Online dating in a very efficient way because they do not have enough time to go out and date in person.
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- One more advantage of Online dating is that it can help people find better matches. Dating websites will match them with potential partners based on compatibility, which means easier for them trying to find your partner. Mantel Barbara, a freelance writer in New York City, gives a general overview of Online dating in the U.S including pros and cons. "The benefits of online dating, many experts say, are clear: the expanded pool of possibilities; the ability to screen for desired traits; and the ease of electronic communication (qtd in Mantel). " It is almost fate that we meet someone who we fall in love with. Even though we find a person welike, we have to figure out if that person is single and they are also interested in you. Online dating has some solutions approaching these kind of problems. We are no longer to do a hard work finding the one. All we have to do is log on and set your type of men/women. Dating websites find our ideals based on our preferences, giving us option after option of good matches.
- In conclusion, the benefits of using Online dating are stronger than the possible drawbacks. First of all, if people are shy, they can communicate with people without a pressure of wondering if they can talk friendly because they have some time before texting. Additionally, it's efficient and available 24-hours a day. Finally, many sites provide matching tools and send users information of suggested matches to make it easier for them to view potential dates. Online dating is the new way to date for many people. Like any other part of technology, it has its advantages and disadvantages. Online dating should be very useful as long as people make sure that safety is a priority and spending too much time to choose can lead to the negative effect. Whether people use Online dating or not is a personal decision but in the end, a new era in which people around the world take advantage of Online Dating is approaching.
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- Works Cited
- Finkel Eli and Karney Benjamin. "The Dubious Science of Online Dating" The New York Times.
- February 11, 2012. July 26, 2019.
- Glassman, Simcha."Pros And Cons Of Online Dating" The Odyssey Online. August 30, 2017.
- July 26, 2019
- Mantel, Barbara. "Online Dating." C Q Researcher, 20 Mar. 2015
- McIntosh, Claire. “Dating GPS.” Ebony, vol. 67, no. 1, Nov. 2012
- Nicholson Jeremy. "Pros and Cons of Online Dating" Psychology Today. July 26, 2019
- Patrick Wendy. "Too Many Dating Choices Decreases Commitment" Psychology Today.July 26, 2019.
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