on *:TEXT:!shoot *:#:{
  var %x $rand(1,2)
  if (%x == 1) {
    describe $chan lays on its back lifts its little legs and shoots an egg at $2 $+ 's neck!  POP
  }
  else {
    describe $chan lays on its back lifts its little legs and shoots shit at $2 $+ 's face!
  }
}