Men are from Mars, Deer are from Hell [MAINCHAT]

<Amos>: Its up to the reader to decide
<HabeusKaiju>: so, will you continue to pity my city, or, can we put that behind us, and be friends?
HabeusKaiju leans in closer, with the starw
<HabeusKaiju>: *stare
<Amos>: Theo, we're good friends and all, and I love you and everything, but I don't think I like you like that
Amos leans back
<HabeusKaiju>: What?
<HabeusKaiju>: no, I ain't like that either!
<HabeusKaiju>: I like girls, yes
<Amos>: You know I'm a shapeshifting blob, who knows what you could want with me
<HabeusKaiju>: right, Mark? I help you with lady advice all the time!
HabeusKaiju looks to Wrong_Way for support
<Amos>: I'll have you know that I'm a male genderless speciesless inhuman magic blob
<HabeusKaiju>: right, and, I may be a lizard, but, I'm a lizard man!
<HabeusKaiju>: I like manly things, like, dating woman, and beers, and shit
<HabeusKaiju>: Yep
<HabeusKaiju>: Also, naked man streaking on obstacle courses
<HabeusKaiju>: that is fun, too
<Amos>: Hab you just confirmed what I am talking about. I'm not that kind of shapeshifter, dude
<HabeusKaiju>: No, no
<LordFrieza>: goddamnit why can't /tg/ understand orks
<HabeusKaiju>: You know that show, American Ninja Warrior?
<HabeusKaiju>: It's where they run obstacles courses, like, hard ones
<HabeusKaiju>: well, in the finals, a streaker got on the set
<HabeusKaiju>: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PN_WMG2Q5pQ [TITLE: CRAZY NAKED GUY STREAKS AMERICAN NINJA WARRIOR COURSE VIEWS: 1813030 FAVES: 0 RATING: 4 RATERS: 14047 UPLOADED: TappBrothers ]
<Amos>: Its okay if you like that stuff man, just... I'm not into it. I already got a thing I have in mind with someone else, and I don't want to ruin our friendship we have going. I'm sure you'll find someone else
<HabeusKaiju>: I'm not gay!
<HabeusKaiju>: I like woman, Amos
<Flipside>: full of food now
<Amos>: You don't need to hide things from me, you know
<Amos>: and wb flops
<Wrong_Way>: Man theo, if i said that, we'd be having a different story
<HabeusKaiju>: Flipside, tell Amos I don't like dudes!
<HabeusKaiju>: Wrong_Way, whatchu talking bout?
<Wrong_Way>: The powers thing?
<HabeusKaiju>: Oh
<HabeusKaiju>: Yes
<Wrong_Way>: You saying I'm gay?
<HabeusKaiju>: Don't....don't speak about my problems
<HabeusKaiju>: What? No!
<HabeusKaiju>: You like Frankie right?
<Wrong_Way>: Aw Theo no, keep it on the hush hush.
<HabeusKaiju>: Oh, right
HabeusKaiju zips his lips
<Wrong_Way>: Good.
<HabeusKaiju>: Now, how about we go to a steak house, and eat \Steaks...for breakfast
<HabeusKaiju>: cause we are manly men
<Wrong_Way>: Steakfast?
<HabeusKaiju>: Yes
<HabeusKaiju>: Let us make haste!
HabeusKaiju hops on his moped, and honks the horn
<HabeusKaiju>: /beep/ /beep/
Wrong_Way hops on the moped and goes off to eat steaks with Hab to prove their heterosexuality
HabeusKaiju has a fun time, and secretly bought a shirley temple to wash it down
Amos still doesn't believe them
<HabeusKaiju>: You wanna do some professional lumberjacking, MArk?
<HabeusKaiju>: It is a sport, you know
<HabeusKaiju>: That should leave no doubt about our manliness!
<Wrong_Way>: B-but aren't there deer in the woods?
<HabeusKaiju>: Well, yeah, but, if we are on trees, they can't harm us
<Wrong_Way>: Ohhhh. That makes sense.
<Wrong_Way>: But we should amp it up to make it seem more manly.
HabeusKaiju gets a belt sling ready, and two hatchets
<HabeusKaiju>: How so?
Wrong_Way pulls out a grenade from his back pocket
<HabeusKaiju>: ....
HabeusKaiju grabs the grenade off Wrong_Way
<HabeusKaiju>: No, just....where did you even get that?
<Wrong_Way>: ...Don't go into your office for a while.
<Wrong_Way>: ...
<HabeusKaiju>: ...
<HabeusKaiju>: Let's just...stick to hatchets
<Wrong_Way>: Right.
HabeusKaiju readies his belt, and shimmies up the tree?
Amos walks by, 20 full sized trees carried over his shoulder and lacking a shirt to show his human form off
Wrong_Way isn't sure how lumberjacking works either so he just watches from down below
Wrong_Way nearly gets his head taken off by one of Amos' trees
<Wrong_Way>: Wow Mr. Frank, you cut all of those trees by yourself?
<Amos>: Sup boys
<Amos>: Yep. I'm sure you two can get more by the end of the day, though
Amos indirect challenge
<Wrong_Way>: Yeah I hope so. As long as no deer show up. Deer can't climb right?
HabeusKaiju starts to chop at his tree, before it falls over, and falls on the ground, bruising his tail
<HabeusKaiju>: No...Ow...no
<Amos>: The deer round here?
<HabeusKaiju>: And, yeah, we can probably get plenty of trees
<Amos>: ....Yeah
<Amos>: They can climb
<Amos>: Must be that runoff from lake ontario
<Wrong_Way>: ....Theo can we go home please.
Wrong_Way looks extremely uncomfortable, as if expecting a deer to just climb down from the many tree in the woods.
<HabeusKaiju>: Wrong_Way, deers cannot climbs trees
*** Flipside is now known as Reverb
<HabeusKaiju>: They don't possess the capability to do that
Reverb passes by the group, dragging three dead bears along with her.
<Wrong_Way>: B-but A-amos said...
<Amos>: Anyway, good luck you two~
<HabeusKaiju>: Amos is trying to scare you
<Wrong_Way>: Oh! H-Hey F-frankie...
Amos continues down the trail merrily. The sound of deers from the canopy can be heard
<HabeusKaiju>: You gonna let him scare you?
Reverb throws a knife at the tree, cutting right through it.
Wrong_Way jumps when the tree crashes, both from the sound and the fear of deer hiding in the trees
<Wrong_Way>: Wow Frankie, I d-didn't know you were a lumberjack too.
<Reverb>: I'm not.
<Reverb>: Something was in that tree.
HabeusKaiju leaves Wrong_Way to work his charm, as he begins to smash at the base of trees, with his tail, felling them in one swoop
<Wrong_Way>: ...W-what do you think it was?
*** Amos is now known as A_Deer
<Reverb>: I don't know, but whatever it was, it had hooves.
A_Deer makes noises from under the tree, sounding demonic
<Wrong_Way>: [probably a brony. don't worry]
<Wrong_Way>: ...W-we should get out of these woods, F-frankie.
<HabeusKaiju>: It was proba bly just John, he likes to ride around here!
<Reverb>: I still have some things to do.
<Wrong_Way>: In the woods?
A_Deer 's silhouette appears in the dark distance of the woods, hidden among trees. Its eyes glow menacingly
<Wrong_Way>: C-can't you do it in a much more deer-free- I mean, safer woods?
Wrong_Way can feel A_Deer's piercing eyes without even looking at it. He gets a cold chill down his back.
<A_Deer>: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_CNuJNeMhxQ [TITLE: Deer noise VIEWS: 241163 FAVES: 0 RATING: 4 RATERS: 493 UPLOADED: Kalaylajayla ]
<Reverb>: These woods in particular.
A_Deer seems to get closer every time Mark blinks
<Wrong_Way>: [aw it's so cute]
<A_Deer>: eeeeeeeeeeeeeeEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
<Wrong_Way>: FRANKIEWENEEDTOGETOUTOFTHESEWOODSNOW.
Reverb kicks the deer in the head
Wrong_Way watches the girl he loves kick his biggest fear in the head.
<HabeusKaiju>: Mark, why are you afraid of deers, anyways?
<Wrong_Way>: THEONO,NOTHERE.
<HabeusKaiju>: Oh, right
Wrong_Way will probably die of embarrassment if Reverb heard that
HabeusKaiju reaches in his backpack, sets up an expandable tent, and pops two chairs in it
HabeusKaiju carries Wrong_Way inside, and sits him down
<HabeusKaiju>: Time for an off-campus counselling
A_Deer sinks through the dirt like it was passing through quicksand, its call echoing out through the forest
<HabeusKaiju>: So, what's the issue?
<Wrong_Way>: Can't we go back to the office and talk there?
Wrong_Way glances around, still scared of deer.
<Wrong_Way>: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9EWzg4eiJnM this deer is more scary by the way ]
A_Deer appears as reflections in Reverb's eyes whenever Mark looks there. In fact, everybody's eyes seem to have the reflection in them
<HabeusKaiju>: oh, Wrong_Way, there are much scarier]
<HabeusKaiju>: ]
<Wrong_Way>: Theo, I think I'm freaking out here.
<Wrong_Way>: It's like everywhere I look, Theo.
<HabeusKaiju>: It's okay, just, tell me what is wrong
<HabeusKaiju>: If any deers come in here, I will deal with them
<HabeusKaiju>: You wanna be with Frankie, right?
<HabeusKaiju>: You gotta overcome your fear, then
Reverb forcefully pulls the deer out of reflections. She can pass through the mirror world, after all.
<LordFrieza>: fun fact plural of deer
<LordFrieza>: is deer
<Wrong_Way>: the more yoou know
<Wrong_Way>: THAT'S TOO MUCH THEO.
A_Deer is now several deer, barking angrily as they approach Mark
LordFrieza shows up and begins punching the deer
<LordFrieza>: My forest now
HabeusKaiju stands in front of the deer, and roars at them, extending out his claws
Wrong_Way is full blown panicing now,
<LordFrieza>:
A_Deer start multiplying through budding, approaching despite Hab's roar
HabeusKaiju tosses Mr Pilly 3.0 at Wrong_Way
<HabeusKaiju>: STAY CALM
HabeusKaiju smashes the ground, and charges at the deer
<HabeusKaiju>: I AM DOING MY JOB HERE, DEER! LEAVE HERE!
Wrong_Way is hit softly by Mr Pilly 3.0 and scrambles to pick him up to hug him as he nervously rocks
A_Deer bark, a second tone that is utterly demonic underlying each as they charge at hab... before they suddenly get sucked back into a vortex behind them
*** A_Deer is now known as Amos
Amos closes a bottle, the unholy deer spirit contained within it
<Amos>: Goddamn thing fell out of my pocket and got loose, sorry about that guys
<LordFrieza>: yet again the only one who matters in this situation is amos
<HabeusKaiju>: Amos, you need to keep this stuff in check
<HabeusKaiju>: People could have been injured
<Amos>: >implying he didn't plan this
HabeusKaiju gets up, dust himself off, and heads back inside the tent
<HabeusKaiju>: You alright?
<Amos>: >implying the bogeyman doesn't scare people
Wrong_Way is shaking and shakes his head
<HabeusKaiju>: It's alright
<HabeusKaiju>: The deer are gone, I dealt with them personally, okay?
Amos continues down the road, whistling. He totally wasn't feeding off of fear right now.
<Wrong_Way>: IknewtheywereouttogetmeTheo...
<Wrong_Way>: Alwaysknew
<HabeusKaiju>: Shh, no, it was an accident
<HabeusKaiju>: Why are you afraid of deers?
<HabeusKaiju>: Maybe i can help you out?
HabeusKaiju pokes Wrong_Way
<Wrong_Way>: ...Iwannagohome.
HabeusKaiju sighs, and scoops Wrong_Way up, packs up the tent, and hops on the moped
<HabeusKaiju>: Reverb, you need a ride home?
<HabeusKaiju>: He is sort of stressed, and, being near a friend might help
<Reverb>: Eh, alright.
<Reverb>: Got space for the bears?
<HabeusKaiju>: Yeah, I can hold some, if ya want
<HabeusKaiju>: but, you'll have to squeeze on, and hold tight, alright? Sort of take up some of this space
<HabeusKaiju>: So, Mark, grab me, and, Frankie, wrap your arms around Mark, that'll be safe enough
Wrong_Way doesn't hear Theo since he's in his own world of fearing deer
Reverb sighed and nodded, wrapping an arm around Mark and holding the chained up bears with the other.
Wrong_Way just holds onto Theo's back instinctively, murmuring to himself.
HabeusKaiju grabs a bear, and begins the trek back into town
<HabeusKaiju>: DEER END]

--


Why Mark hates deer

Mark's deliberating fear of deer stems from a faithful encounter with them when he was 5. When driving with his grandfather one night, his grandfather hit into a deer with his car.
It probably would've ended there if his grandfather didn't decide to bring it home with him in the backseat of the car, frightening Mark.

His grandfather would later keep the deer's head as a trophy but would get a sudden illness [most likely an injury from the car accident since hitting a deer isn't safe]. Mark would associate his grandpa's illness with the mounted deer on the wall every time he visited.

When Mark's grandfather died two months later, the tipping point for Mark was witnessing a few deer at his funeral. Mark would think his grandfather's illness was a revenge from the deer. Mark now feared for himself since he and his grandfather were the ones in the car when said deer killing happened. Thus, Mark was scared for his own life by the deer.

Since then, Mark's terror of deer that stemmed from a logical "deer can be dangerous" standpoint from a car accident to a more illogical fear of deer being capable of doing anything and they are hunting him down. In moments of panic or fear manipulation, he is scared by the prospect of deer being anywhere.

Mark is embarrassed by his phobia and if asked about it,  Mark will have a stigma towards deer and verbally express a hatred towards deer as opposed to a fear. Mark will claim deer do outlandish things to people due to this fear and is extremely suggestible to believing anything about deer, even if untrue. However, he cannot hold this fear when with others when physically encountering deer.

Pictures of deer spook him (dead deer especially) and he will associate it with fate and "revenge of the deer", related to a fear of an untimely death.

He actively avoids roads where deer are prominent and even seeing deer will send him into a panic. He fears there will be a deadly attack done towards him by deer physically or by supernatural means. It does not help that he has read mythology on deer, though deer mythology is generally positive towards humanity. Guilt from the car accident however has warped his beliefs on deer and believes he has wronged them and thus revenge is coming.

Wooded areas are scary for him, especially at night. Cemeteries have a loose fear with them and so does any place that might logically have deer nearby.

It wouldn't help that Mark lived in a suburban area that would occasionally get deer in the backyard.

It does not help he now goes to a school with woods nearby and an actively larger deer population.