I want to thank every one out there that helped us in these hard times of being homeless and living in a car. Total strangers have given us money to help us get by. For food and drinks. One of my sweet customers gave me 21 dollars. She is a nurse. And one guy that lives in a trailer across from where our car is parked, came over today and gave my son 20.00. And he has checked on us to make sure we are okay.  I just want to thank them and my son's friends from the Brotherhood who have reached out to help us. Thank you cortex for your help. God bless you. And M.J. for offering financial support and for being there emotionally for my kid. And all of the other members of the Brotherhood who have offered to help us. And who check on Jay to see how he is doing. And. I want to say shame on you to the people who we thought cared and who choose to have a blind eye. I pray to God that they never have the trouble and the challenges that we have had to endure. No one wants to watch their child go hungry or thirsty. I have made mistakes. Trying to steal some food for my kid and I wasn't good at it and I got caught. I was stupid, I admit it. And any one who can judge me or say things like " I don't care how desperate I get I would never steal. Well whatever you need to tell yourself so you can sleep at night. But there is no difference between taking food to feed your family. Or turning your back on people who have done things for you no questions asked. That you bent over backwards for. Who think that they are better than you. Or that call themselves Christians because they attend church on Sunday . You are not a Christian. Surprise! Good works, being there for people who loved you. Who wanted the best for you. Did you like it when your business failed. Or when all your friends stopped coming to visit? You only get maybe 1 maybe 2 truly dear and honest friends in your life. But it is a rude awakening when they turn there backs on you. It is truly sad. And I can say th a t my son tyres to warn me to stop doing things for them. But I guess I knew he was right in the back of my mind. I was just hoping maybe this time it would be different. But I am a true believer in karma. Whatever around comes around. And God will get you for what you've done. You should know better than anyone, that he has already done it more than once to you already. And I won't be around to help.pick up the pieces. Not after the way you guys( and you damn well know who you are) have treated us.

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thank you for existing but you shouldn't be praying to God that they never have the trouble you go through. not because humility and shit is a bad thing, but because God doesn't exist and you're just talking to yourself. the only thing responsible for getting you this far in your life is your own self. you are fucking powerful. we all are. we need to stop playing with our childish toys and allow our true selves to blossom. God won't get those people for what they've done. those people will get themselves for what they have done because the only fucking entity that has any agency over your own life is YOU. when you pray to your God, you're just praying to the divine nature present inside of you and hoping that you'll convince it to work in your favor. well, guess what, you don't have to convince it because IT IS YOU. God doesn't exist. You exist. I can prove you exist. I cannot prove God exists. You cannot either. If you claim you can empirically or objectively prove his existence, you are lying. Not to me, but to yourself. stop dividing yourself from your true nature and actualize your fuckin prima Materia

SULPHUR MERCURY SALT
I'M GIVEN TO THE FALL OF FAULT
THIS ISN'T FOR YOUR GESTALT
JUST A REMINDER TO MYSELF TO HALT

they shouldn't know better than anyone because no one should anything. suppositions are bullshit dogmatic propositions that we project onto the world trying to conform it to our will rather than trying to conform our will to the world.

WAKE UP. YOU FEEL IT INSIDE OF YOU RIGHT NOW. YES YOU DO. STOP FUCKING LYING. JUST ACCEPT IT. YOU ARE THE SOLE ARBITER OF YOUR LIFE.

don't give credit to something you've never met, seen, heard, experienced through empirically verifiable means. the only person you can give any credit to for anything that happens in your life is you. accept it, and become what you always wanted but wouldn't let yourself because BULLSHIT EXCUSE REASON BLAH BLAH BLAH IT DOESN'T MATTER

thank you for existing. you exist. you made this. and everything else. just let yourself see. i love you.