Holyoats

Pinkie Pies Terrible Week (clop)

Dec 5th, 2012
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  1. >Year 2.18 In Equestria
  2. >Today was Monday
  3. >And Rainbow Dash has challenged you to a competition
  4. >First one to prank 20 different ponies gets 100 bits
  5. >After pestering you for a while she got to agree to shut her up
  6. >You must win this competition
  7. >After all if you have to pay her 100 bits you wont be able to eat for the rest of the month
  8. >She decided to add that the other one has to be present for the prank for it to count
  9. >Dash pulls the first prank by grabbing a rain cloud and soaking about 20 feet of the main road by the Carousel Boutique.
  10. >Then she brings a snow cloud and uses it to somehow freeze the road solid
  11. >Fucking pony sky magic
  12. >You both sit and wait for a pony to fall into her trap
  13. >The wait was short as a pink pony comes hopping along with a cake somehow staying balanced on her back
  14. >Standing from your hiding spot you try to warn Pinkie about the road but Dash tackles you and whispers
  15. >"Everyp0ny is fair game."
  16. >Dash is so heartless sometimes
  17. >Sitting up you watch your favorite pink pony as she reaches the ice
  18. "Please Pinkie use your voodoo gypsy magics to not fall for this"
  19. >You whisper quietly to yourself. Pinkie holds a special place in your heart. She was the first pony to accept you in Ponyville.
  20. >Her front hooves land on it while her back hooves are on dry ground
  21. >This causes them slide forward as she face plants on the ice
  22. >However it was not over then as the cake on her back flipped up and smacked her on the back of the head
  23. >She sits down and pulls her head up from the ice but tongue was still stuck to the ground
  24. >You watch her struggle for a minute before she finally gets her tongue free
  25. >Reaching up she feels the cake stuck to the back of her head
  26. >"OH NO! SWEETIE BELLE'S BIRTHDAY CAKE IS RUINED!"
  27. >Oh god not Sweetie Belle too! She is your favorite little filly!
  28. "Dash that was mean. Can we please not prank our friends?"
  29. >"Should have thought of that rule before the game started!" she shouts back angrily
  30. >Looking at her you can easily tell she feels guilty but does not want to admit it
  31. "Whatever lets go to the Sugarcube Corner. I need to pick up some ammo for my pranks."
  32. >Plus you want to check on Pinkie
  33. >One short trip later you are standing inside the capital of confectionery creation in Ponyville
  34. >Mrs. Cake greeted you as you walked in. "Here to spend all your bits again Anon?"
  35. "Well not all of them."
  36. >How could you help yourself. Sweets here were 10000x better than back on earth. Only trying to keep up with Pinkie and Dash every day keeps you from being a fatty.
  37. "Can I get one dozen chocolate cupcakes with chocolate icing and a blueberry pie? Oh yeah is Pinkie OK? I saw her fall earlier and wondered if she was hurt."
  38. >"She fell? Oh dear that explains why she came running back here covered in cake. If you want to wait for a moment I will have her come out so you can talk to her. Oh and that comes to 20 bits."
  39. >You love the discount the Cake's give you for blowing all your money here
  40. >Mrs. Cake walks into the back to get your order
  41. >Out of nowhere a Pink flour covered pony is hanging around your neck screaming
  42. "Nonny! Dashie! Why did you decide to stop by? Usually you are only here when you get paid! Did you get paid today? Who are you working for now? Did-"
  43. >You put your hand over her mouth. Standard way to shut Pinkie up even if she does keep talking
  44. "No Pinkie I came by to see if you were OK and decided it pick up some sweets while I was here. I saw you fall earlier and wanted to make sure you didn't get hurt."
  45. >She giggles "Of course I am fine. The ground was frozen for some reason though." She frowns "I did mess up Sweetie Belle's Birthday cake. I hope I can get this one done before the party. ARE YOU GONNA BE THERE NONNY?"
  46. >Seeing how you are not allowed inside Rarity's shop after you called her a gold digger...
  47. "Probably not Pinkie. I was not invited and I had already made plans with Dash here."
  48. >She starts pouting and giving you the puppy dog eyes
  49. "I can't Pinkie. How about we have a party at my house on Saturday?"
  50. >She gets that big smile on her face that seems impossibly wide Before finally letting go of your neck
  51. >"I WONT FORGET THAT NONNY!"
  52. >Mrs Cake walks out with your cupcakes, pulls your pie off a nearby shelf, and places them on the counter for you
  53. >"You got your sweets now lets get moving!" Dash says annoyed
  54. >You thank Mrs. Cake and wave goodbye to Pinkie
  55. >"BYE NONNY! BYE DASHIE!" she yells waving her hoof fast enough to make your arm hurt in sympathy
  56. >After you get a little ways away from Sugarcube Corner Dash turns to you
  57. >"Dude you totally have a thing for Pinkie!"
  58. "What?!? No I don't! You are crazy she is just a good friend!"
  59. >"Admit it bro your in love with Pinkamina Dianne Pie!"
  60. "Fine I'll admit it-"
  61. >"HAH!"
  62. "When you admit you have a thing for Thunderlane."
  63. >She drops a foot in the air and starts blushing
  64. >"I-I don't have a "THING" for Thunderlane!" she frantically whispers back to you
  65. "I have seen how you look at him when you think no one is watching. I know why you pick on him. You don't want anyone to know that the great and terrible Rainbow Dash is in lo-"
  66. >She slaps a hoof over your mouth
  67. >"Not cool. Not cool at all." She is furiously blushing and looking around to see if someone heard
  68. >You pry her hoof off your mouth
  69. "One. Ow that fucking hurt. Two. If you cant take it than don't start it."
  70. >"Point made I will lay off. Anon you can be mean sometimes."
  71. "Heh, I was thinking the same thing about you earlier with your prank."
  72. >"Speaking of pranks what did you have planned for yours?"
  73. "Well first of all I am going to sit down and eat some of these damn good cupcakes. Then I intend to get back at a certain xenophobic mare who has treated me like shit since I showed up."
  74. >Dash sighs "This again? I told you that Roseluck just does not like you because you fell through the roof of her greenhouse!"
  75. "Which I apologized for over and over and even got Celestia to pay her back for. Now shut up and lets go eat some cupcakes"
  76. >30 minutes and 1 dozen cupcakes later you are sitting on the roof of Roseluck's shop balancing a pie on the beam of her sign.
  77. >Giving Rainbow Dash the signal she knocks over a pot of flowers just outside the shop causing them to spread out across the ground.
  78. >Seconds pass and you hear the bell on the shop's door ring as your target moves into position
  79. >You count to three before tipping the pie and letting it fall
  80. >A maniacal laughter fills your mind as you think of your vengeance
  81. >A voice cuts through your internal celebration as you hear
  82. >"ThanksfortherosesRoseluckIranou-"
  83. >Your heart goes cold. At the instant the pie hits its target with a loud splat you realize your error
  84. >"-t." you want to look over but you know the sight will break your heart.
  85. >Instead you look at the buildings across the street scanning for Dash
  86. >You see her peeking out from behind the chimney of a shop just down the street
  87. >She is wide eyed and staring at the scene in front of her like someone just got stabbed
  88. >"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! NowIdonthavetherosestofixthecakeIalreadymessedupandtheCake'swillhatemeandnevertrustmeagain!"
  89. >Risking being caught you quickly glance over the edge of the roof and see her siting on the ground staring at bowl full of slightly smashed pie covered roses
  90. >She looks like she is about to cry when she suddenly sits up straight
  91. >"Aha! I will buy more roses with my own money and no one will ever need know! Its so genius it just might work!"
  92. >Standing triumphantly she twirls a mustache that appears out of nowhere before vanishes back into the shop in a blur.
  93. >Stopping yourself from saying something to her you motion for Dash to come help you get down.
  94. >Ten minutes later you are in the park with your head in your hands
  95. "Did you even see her go in there?"
  96. >"No but that doesn't mean much. It is Pinkie Pie we are talking about. So we gonna continue this challenge or what?"
  97. >You give her an incredulous look
  98. "Really Dash? You really want to keep going?"
  99. >"OF COURSE! Dude we can't let two complete accidents get us down. Winner can just give Pinkie the money to pay her back for those roses. Besides Pinkie loves pranks she wont if we tell her when we are done!"
  100. >It's true Pinkie does love pranks
  101. "Fine but lets start back up tomorrow. I need time to plan for more pranks."
  102. >"Works for me. See you tomorrow Anon!"
  103.  
  104. _-_Saturday Night_-_
  105. >It is Saturday and the last five days have been terrible
  106. >You and Dash spent all week trying to prank ponies
  107. >Every single time the prank backfired in one way or another
  108. >But not back on you. Oh no that would have been so much better.
  109. >Every single prank hit Pinkie in some unforeseen terrible way
  110. >Taking another long swallow of your fifth cider of the night you think back on the worst pranks that backfired
  111. >There was the laxative candy bars you sold to that old donkey that moved into town by claiming they were rare gryphon made chocolate bars
  112. >Turns out he bought them as a thank you gift for Pinkie
  113. >Dash tried to hit Scootaloo with a water balloon but missed and hit Pinkie right in the plot
  114. >Everyone thought she pissed herself.
  115. >You rolled your skateboard into a crowd of ponies trying to make one of them trip
  116. >Pinkie slipped on it and knocked herself out on a rock
  117. >Dash set up stink bombs to go off when somep0ny opened the door to Colgate's shop
  118. >Of course that was Pinkie
  119. >You were getting annoyed so at one point you just grabbed a handful of mud and chucked it into a crowd.
  120. >You hit Pinkie right in the eye
  121. >By Wednesday you had given up. You could not do that to her anymore
  122. >Dash was determined to win so she started doing pranks to hit as many ponies possible at once
  123. >Popping a sonic rainboom over Ponyville to scare people
  124. >No one was scared but it ruined the pastries that Pinkie was cooking
  125. >Loosening the top of every salt and pepper shaker in town
  126. >She actually managed to prank two people other than Pinkie with that one. However it was Pinkies parents who got pranked when their meals were ruined and Pinkies meal was ruined as well.
  127. >Dash started getting a little crazy and you had to tell her to stop when her next prank was luring timber wolves into town.
  128. >There were a hundred other pranks you tried in between those.
  129. >The score is currently sitting at 5 RD, 3 you.
  130. >Shaking your head again you finish off the last of your cider and go to put your bottle away when you hear a knock at the door
  131. >As you head to the door you check the clock.
  132. "Who in the fuck is here at 1:30 in the morning?"
  133. >You open the door to reveal a crying straight haired pink mare
  134. >It takes you a moment to realize that it is Pinkie
  135. >"A-anon can I come in?"
  136.  
  137. Voters decided to give her the dick.
  138.  
  139. "Pinkie what happened?"
  140. >"Please can I come inside? I need to talk to someone."
  141. >Wow she sounds depressed as hell
  142. "Sure Pinkie. You know you are always welcome in my house."
  143. >She nods and slowly walks in and takes a seat at your kitchen table
  144. >Grabbing the chair next to her you have a seat
  145. "What did you want to talk about Pinkie?"
  146. >She sniffles a bit and wipes her nose with her foreleg
  147. >"Somep0ny in Ponyville hates me!" a fresh wave of tears run down her face.
  148. >"Nop0ny has ever hated me before. I don't know what to do. I can't stop thinking about it! I would try to make them like me but I don't even know who they are."
  149. >Someone hating Pinkie? Doubtful.
  150. "How do you even know someone hates you if you don't know who it is?"
  151. >"Well you see..."
  152. >She goes on to describe the effect that each prank had on her
  153. >You cant stand it. It hurts so much to see her hurting because of you.
  154. >"I tried to think of reasons why someone would do all the bad things to me that they did and the only thing I could think of is that -sniff- they want to drive me out of town. I was thinking that maybe I should leave. That way I could make them happy and they would not hate me anymore."
  155. >You stare at her for but a moment before you grab her and pull her close
  156. "Pinkie nop0ny hates you. And even if somep0ny did hate you that is no reason to leave. The ponies here care about you. I care about you Pinkie"
  157. >She pulls back from you and looks you in the eyes
  158. >Her pale blue orbs locked on your brown ones as the scent of bubblegum and cotton candy fills your nose
  159. >You lean forward and kiss her
  160. >She tenses for the slightest moment before pushing back and gripping you tightly with her hooves
  161. >The kiss lingers for a few seconds before she pulls away
  162. >When you open your eyes you see she has a smile on her face and her hair is back to its poofy old self
  163. >"Do..you really feel that way about me Nonny?"
  164. "Pinkie I have liked you that way for a while now."
  165. >She gets a smile on her face that is almost creepy as her eyes go wide. She looks like she just saw her first rainbow or something like that
  166. >She grabs you with her hooves and pulls you into a deep kiss. After a few seconds you feel a tongue invade your mouth
  167. >Fighting back with your tongue you up the ante and bring one of your hands up to her ear and start scratching and rubbing it.
  168. >Her eyes go wide as you put to use the trick that almost got you into trouble with AJ. Seems mares love having their hears rubbed and scratched.
  169. >The kiss lasts a couple of minutes before you break it to catch your breath
  170. >"Hey Nonny? This is kind -gasp- of uncomfortable." Pinkie says as she grinds on your crotch with a sexy smile replacing her creepy one earlier
  171. >"How about we go up to -gasp- bedroo-" She does not finish the thought as grab her and try to move as quickly as you can to your bedroom
  172. >It has been over two years here without anything but your hand and a tremendous lack of pornography. That is not even taking into account the dry spell you were having before coming here.
  173. >By the time you had accepted the idea of having sex with ponies you had already fallen for Pinkie
  174. >When you reach your room you kick the door open and toss Pinkie on the bed where she giggles as she bounces
  175. >Taking off your clothes is hard when you have a raging boner and the nerves of a virgin.
  176. >Cursing your choice to wear a button up shirt today you battle each button like it is a dragon keeping you from your princess
  177. >As you work on the last few buttons you feel a breeze and a hoof stroking your Siamese twin
  178. >Looking down you see that Pinkie has managed to get both your pants and boxers off without you noticing.
  179. >You would be surprised but this is Pinkie
  180. >Finally getting your shirt off you grab Pinkie and kiss her as you jump on the bed
  181. >Landing with a bounce you laugh with her for a bit before you start running one hand through her mane as your other strolls down her flank
  182. >Her fur is soft as silk as you stroke her. When you reach her flank your hand brushes across her cutie mark and she squeals into your mouth.
  183. >Bringing your other hand down you rub her cutie marks gently savoring her twitches and moans
  184. >Breaking your kiss you start lightly nibbling and kissing her body as you make your way down to her precious party box
  185. >You make sure to stop and suckle on her nipples for a bit before you move on down to her snatch
  186. >When you finally reach her treasure you plant light kisses around it but stop venturing closer
  187. -BOP-
  188. >A firm but painless bop on top of the head by her hoof
  189. >"Nonny you naughty monkey! No teasing!" she gasps out
  190. >Smiling you giver her what she wanted as you attack her pussy lips like they owed you money
  191. >Her taste reminds you of really sweet grapes and is unexpectedly pleasant
  192. >She moans something loudly that sounds like your name but is fairly garbled as she presses your head hard against her crotch
  193. >You smile and continue working her folds as within a couple of minutes you bring her to orgasm
  194. >You feel her push you away as twitches for a bit and fights for air
  195. >"Its my turn to make you feel good Nonny! I hope you like it!" She proclaims as she crawls down your body and lays between your legs looking up at you.
  196. >Examining your throbbing manhood she reaches out with her head and licks it from base to tip like an ice cream cone and giggles
  197. >She leans forward and places a kiss on the tip of your meat cudgel before taking the head into her mouth
  198. >You moan at the feeling of her warm wet mouth suckling at the tip of your dick
  199. >Knowing you wont last long like this you force yourself to calm down so you can enjoy more of this glorious feeling
  200. >That is until she starts rotating her tongue around your dick head and bobbing up and down slightly
  201. >There is no holding back the wave that is coming so you decide to sit back and enjoy the ride
  202. >You reach up and start rubbing her ears while she pleasures you
  203. >She moans into your dick and starts sucking harder on it.
  204. >Almost at your peak your try to warn her however at that exact moment she takes your cock into her mouth up to the base and yet somehow still keeps running her tongue around it
  205. >All this leaves is you to grab her ears and hold on as you coat her throat in your warm seed
  206. >She pulls her mouth off your dick with a loud -POP-
  207. >"Mmm not bad! Tastes like salty apples. I think I like it."
  208. >Well makes more sense than not. You eat a LOT of apples. Mostly because working for Applejack occasionally gets you sent home with tons of apple related food
  209. "Are you ready for the main course?"
  210. >She giggles at you almost falling off the bed
  211. >grabbing her fore hooves you lay gently on top of her
  212. >Grabbing your meat baster you place it at her pussy lips and start rubbing up and down gently causing her to coo and moan
  213. >"Nonny -gasp- what did I say about -gasp- teasing." She looks at you with a fire in her eyes "I want to feel you inside of me!"
  214. >Not one to leave a request unfulfilled you ease your shaft inside her lady cave enjoying to totally unique feeling of a pony vagina
  215. >Her muscles clench around you tightly as you press your way in. She is quite a bit hotter inside than you can remember humans being
  216. >When you finally bottom out inside her starts squirming and moaning a bit
  217. "Something wrong Pinkie?"
  218. >"Stallions-cant-go-all-the-way-in-and-it-feels-so-strange-but-it-feels-so-so-so-good-at-the-same-time-oh-wow-did-you-feel-that?"
  219. >She asks all that in one breath causing you to chuckle and grind against her a bit.
  220. >Pulling out slowly you leave only the tip of your wang inside her before thrusting back in
  221. >Making sure to grind when you get all the way in causing squeaks and moans each time
  222. >You shift hand over her cutie mark while the other starts stroking her ear
  223. >Within seconds she is having another orgasm. You stop for a second letting her come down a bit before you keep going.
  224. >The look of pleased shock as you keep going makes you start working even harder to pleasure her
  225. >Leaning forward your nuzzle her ears as you move your hand to brace yourself
  226. >Four orgasms later and pinkie is looking at you with eyes glazed over
  227. >You are nearing your your own orgasm this time and you do your best to bring her there with you
  228. >Furiously working her body you feel her tighten as her orgasm hits
  229. >Thrusting forward you hilt yourself and stop holding back
  230. >You pour into her causing her to moan again
  231. >Grabbing her you roll over with her laying your chest and you still inside her
  232. >After a few minutes she calms down enough to ask you
  233. >"Nonny why did you not tell me aobut this sooner? WE COULD HAVE BEEN HAVING SO MUCH FUN TOGETHER!"
  234. >She rambles on for a bit about all the times you could have snuck away and had some fun when she was bored in Canterlot or when the Cakes let her take quick breaks.
  235. >You laugh and smile at her
  236. "So does that mean you will be my special somep0ny?"
  237. >She looks at you like you are an idiot. "Well of course I will you silly filly!"
  238. "Well it looks like we have something to celebrate at the party tomorrow!"
  239. >"THE PARTY OH I ALMOST FORGOT!"
  240. >As she goes to get up you grab her and hold her down
  241. "That can wait until tomorrow Pinkie. Besides...there is, uh, something I wanted to tell you"
  242. >"What could be more important than a party?"
  243. "Well do you remember all that bad stuff that happened to you this week?"
  244. >Her ears go back and she looks down sadly "How could I forget?"
  245. "It was actually all me and Dash"
  246. >She looks up and gives you a look like you just kicked her puppy
  247. "WE DIDN'T DO IT ON PURPOSE! Ya see we tried to see who would be the first to prank 20 ponies but every single prank we did hit you for some reason. I gave up on Wedensday but I had to force dash to stop trying earlier today. I felt so horrible about the the things that happened to you."
  248. >"It was all pranks? Nop0ny hates me or wants me ran out of town?"
  249. "Nope in fact this Po-person loves you."
  250. >She kisses you and then gives you a seductive look
  251. >Round 2: FIGHT!
  252.  
  253. -One mostly sleepless night later-
  254. >Ponies had been arriving for the party for the last hour
  255. >You have no idea how many ponies Pinkie invited but you didn't care
  256. >The banner with "Anon & Pinkie Special Somep0nies Forever!" made you smile every time you look at it
  257. >Dash showed up and almost fainted when she saw it
  258. >Pinkie said she has "Party Things" to do in your kitchen and banished you from it until she was ready
  259. >You played your part well as you schmoozed with the guests and told everyone pinkie would be out soon
  260. >About an hour into the party Pinkie walks out of your kitchen with an enormous tray covered in cupcakes
  261. >She was immediately mobbed while each and every pony (and one human) at the party grabbed one and started eating.
  262. >"Hey anon how many people would you say are here?" Pinkie asks
  263. "Around twenty five or thirty. Why?"
  264. >You ask after you swallow a bite of your cupcake
  265. >Suddenly you get the urge to sneeze and before you can stop it you threw yourself forward and sneezed harder than you ever thought possible.
  266. >And out of your mouth popped a party hat
  267. >Wat.
  268. >You then notice that all the ponies around you are sneezing as well. Each time a random party favor pops out of their mouth as they do.
  269. >Pinkie turns to you and dash, who had just sneezed out a fake mustache for some reason, and yells
  270. >"I WIN! I WIN! I WAS THE FIRST TO PRANK 20 poni-" She stops as she sneezes out a balloon animal
  271. >"YOU BOTH OWE ME 100 BITS!"
  272. >Damn it you love this mare.
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