The Dirty Thing I Did Today by VK and Sera

The Dirty Thing I Did Today by Sera and VK

You want me to talk dirty, do ya? That's what you want?  Well how about I tell you all the dirty things I did today? This morning, when I woke up and realised that I had the house to myself. I picked my outfit for the day carefully. I wore a pair of old jean shorts and a yellow tank top with a light pink bow on the collar and puke-green rubber gloves. I went downstairs and first I looked at the laundry. Phew! Oh, the smell coming from the pile of dirty clothes was foul, but I did it all... the laundry...was so.. big...there was so much that I didn't think it would fit...but I stretched and pushed and got it all in...After the laundry was in the wash I headed to the kitchen. Imagine my surprise at the mess there! Ooh, I looked at the countertop.  When was the last time anybody even wiped it! I put my eager hands on the cucumbers, carrots and zucchini that no one had put away and I thrust them deep in the crisper. I got down on my <moan> knees and took the extra garbage bags out of the cupboard so I could take the kitchen trash out. Oh and the fridge's heat exchanger had dust bunnies that...they were just so massively tumescent! they couldn't be believed So I swept them out. Then, the floor...the mop...I pulled the handle to me and then thrust it away in an ever-building rhythm as I did the floor.  And then...I...did...the dishes! <moans> Oh god, they were dirty! Washing them felt ooh, it's hard to describe! God, I got so wet...my tank top was just soaked with soapy water! When I had finished scrubbing all those dirty plates, I dried them with fluffy towels and I felt soooooo much better, when it was clean. Then, when no one was looking, I went into my backyard and I took the long serpentine tube and pointed it at that hot outdoor oven... and hosed the BBQ area. <Long moan of relief> I've been such a naughty dirty girl today, but my house sure is clean.