How to get a simulated Pastebin Pro account

Here are the feature of Pastebin Pro, and how to simulate them:

Ad-free:
Use an ad blocker! (Which, BTW, means you are a heartless individual. Ads help Pastebin pay for their servers, maintenance, bandwidth, etc.)

Max paste size increase:
Not much you can do other than multiple pastes...

Direct .txt uploads:
Who cares? Nobody uses this anyway. If you're that hardcore of a paster, just get the Pro account.

Multiple logins:
Not exactly sure what this does, but I think it can be circumvented via multi-accounting.

More unlisted pastes:
PGP encryption. Bam.

More private pastes.
PGP. Nobody's cracking a 4096-bit RSA cipher.

HTTPS:
P...G...P. HOWEVER, it seriously costs hundreds of dollars to get a SSL certificate, so if you really want HTTPS, GET A FREAKING PRO ACCOUNT. IT HELPS SUPPORT THE SITE.

No captchas:
Meh, not a big deal.

10X pastes per day:
Use the multi account magic.

More alert keywords:
MULTIPLE...ACCOUNTS.

More email notifications:
See last 2 answers.

PRO Badge:
No way around this. If you want the pro badge, GET THE PRO ACCOUNT. That simple.