Postcards - 4/1

hello hello, it's been quite too long and you actually... finished the whole thing. whoops.

[b]Wilderness and Hunger[/b]

[quote]Even trainers who gripe about re-hydrated food have to admit to one truth you learned early on: most nights, you’re so tired it doesn’t matter what you’re eating.[/quote]
I still really love the details here -- so much of this is just so [i]right[/i].

[quote]Trainer meals are designed (yes, definitely designed and not cooked or crafted) with consideration for vitamins and minerals but not much else.[/quote]
Small nitpick, but I would probably also add calories here, since they definitely should be designed for that.

[quote]You plan to ration them out — and indeed, you start by pulling the first one apart and eating each layer slowly, licking icing off your fingers — but instead eat all ten in one sitting, wrappers spread around you on your hostel cot.[/quote]
SUCH A MOOD. Kids learning that maybe the dumb old rules their parents had for them weren't as dumb as they wanted.

[b]Wilderness and Wonder[/b]

[quote]Leaving there and continuing[/quote]
ah yes there is a recommended order to be reading this in and I'm not doing that, am I? This is the Johto bit?

[quote]The pidgeys watched you from the edge of the clearing at first, making low sounds of displeasure, but after a time they got over themselves and alighted on the nearby trees.[/quote]
Admittedly I have not tried to piss off birds, but I feel like the agitated ones I've seen, even territorial, don't make "low" sounds for anger.

[quote]N Creamy[/quote]
Look it's April Fools I had to.
(Side note, I do think the lexicon here is ['n], but also it's not like prepackaged food boxes are known for their strict adherence to grammar)

[quote]You should head to a trainer supply store first thing and get some new flavors, probably some batteries and duct tape.[/quote]
Oh man, my first Oxford comma mishap in the wild and it totally threw me -- for half a second here I really thought the new flavors were "probably some batteries and duct tape".

[quote]Do you really have to?[/quote]
Plants will give you what you need <3
[s]jk they really should tho[/s]

[b]Wilderness and Silence[/b]
[quote]There’s no point in saying you think she’s being a baby, even though you do.[/quote]
Phrasing here is a bit unclear -- do they [i]say[/i] she's a baby or do they [i]think[/i] it? I imagine the latter since there's no slapfight later.

[quote]What a stupid way to die, you think over and over again.
[/quote]
There's a definite tonal shift in this where the stakes change from being a third wheel/squabbling over Uno rules to a life-or-death thing, but I can't quite see where the shift is. I definitely like it when emotions are more in your face, so for me the shift was almost [i]too[/i] subtle (especially because of how blatant the narrator's feelings toward Lanna and Cliff are in the earlier chunk), but I think it works.

[quote]pokemon tucked against you for warmth…and for protection[/quote]
dropped a space

[quote]Bolting upright at the sound of leathery wings — no, only leaves.[/quote]
Admittedly I haven't heard leathery wings, but I think leaves have a dryer, more multiplied sound, if that makes sense? Like a rustling sound coming from many different sources vs the sound of fluffing out a bedsheet. I'm always reminded of the ocean, but if you wanted something deadly my first irrational guess is usually rattlesnakes [s]in the middle of a dense forest[/s].

I like how the enemy here isn't a wild pokemon here; it's the elements/exposure.

These continue to be fascinating to read -- it's quite easy to get sucked in and by the end of it I've finished the whole vignette and I haven't really thought of any crit. I think, for the most part, it's easier to give comments having read the entire story since, especially in this case, each chapter feels like it's meant to be building to something greater than the sum of its parts (the parts also being quite good). Will continue to catch up!