Sorry for Your Loss (2018)

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♪ Just as clear
as the spots on the sun ♪

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♪ We are wired to be one ♪

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♪ And my heart... ♪

4
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- Yeah?

5
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- Hey, did you get my text?

6
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- Uh, I did.

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Essentials, is that okay?

8
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Anything's fine.

9
00:01:03,208 --> 00:01:06,125
- Okay, perfect.
- Actually, no. Get, um...

10
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Promise Ultra.
Promise Ultra.

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- Uh...

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Okay.

13
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You know,
they say it's normal,

14
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But I've had some crap
come out of my vag'.

15
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That's some real sci-fi shit.

16
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- Are you trying to get me aroused? Because
if you are, erection accomplished.

17
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- Hmm... sexy.

18
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- How is he?
- Almost out.

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Dear Jesus, let him be out.

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Oh, hang on.
- Yeah, yeah.

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Oh... what did she say?

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Purpose... promise!

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- Ken?
- Yeah.

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- That was your mom.

25
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It's your dad.

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- Why would my mom be...

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Okay, Mom.
Alright, me too.

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Bye.

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- Did she say what happened?

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- Yeah, he has a... aneurysm.

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- Ah!
- Oh, sorry.

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Boobs.

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- Do aneurysms hurt?

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- I have no idea.

35
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- You didn't pump?

36
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- I fell asleep with the milker in
my hand like some narcoleptic cow.

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- That was my band's name
in high school.

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The Narcoleptic Cows.

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- I know you didn't talk much.

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- Or ever.

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You think I should go?

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- To your dad's funeral?

43
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Your... your dad's funeral.

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- I know, but I mean, it's a
last-minute plane ticket and--

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- Who gives a fuck? It's your
dad! It's your dad's funeral!

46
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Yeah, you have to go!
What are you, dead inside?!

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- Oh, hey, hey, hey...

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It's alright.

49
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- It's these fucking hormones.

50
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Is your mom gonna go?
- Um...

51
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I don't know. She doesn't
really go anywhere.

52
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- Promise me we'll never get
divorced!

53
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- It's a big ask, sweetie.
- Promise me and when I die,

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you fucking make our son go to my funeral,
even if I was the worst mom in the world!

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- There are a lot of
assumptions there.

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- Ken, you listen to me, man!

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I'm still as big as the house, and
my boobs feel like cement and--

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- Whoa, okay, okay, I promise.
We'll go.

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I'll bring my hot new girlfriend and...
you know... what's his name, in the crib?

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We really have to name him!

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Are we like
the worst parents ever?

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- Maybe top ten.

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- Hey...
- Mm?

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- Did you get diapers?

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- Did you ask me to get...

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What are you doing?

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- I don't know.
It's been a while and...

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I thought maybe this could,
uh...

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...cheer you up.

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- Oh...

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Are you sure?

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- There...

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- Oh... a little cold.

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- Ow, no!
- Sorry. I forgot.

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- God, I...

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...love your dick.

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- Maybe we could, uh...
try something a little more fun.

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And time.

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- Wait, oh...

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- Would you please get that, babe?
I have to go swap out my pad.

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Yeah, on it.

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Okay, coming, you little...
cock-blocker.

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- Ken?!

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Listen, about that, um...

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Ah, there's the little one!

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Right where the corporate screen
saver should be, huh?

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- Yeah, I realized I didn't have
any pictures on my desk, so...

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- Ah, well, at least, it's not a YouTube
video of the actual birth, am I right?

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I guess.

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- God, you know, I remember
our first...

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Up every 15 minutes, couldn't
get any sleep,

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the wife and I are at each
other's throats...

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- Yeah, I know
what you're saying.

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Sometimes, I just...
wanna hop in the car

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and drive till my whole life is just
a memory fading in the rearview.

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- What the hell is wrong with you?

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Ken, this is a...
family company.

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- Right, no, I just thought we
were... uh...

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Speaking of families, would it be okay
if I took a couple of personal days?

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I have a funeral.
- Oh...

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I'm sorry, who?
- Uh, my dad.

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- Bring it in here. Come on.
- What?

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- Come here. Come on!
- Okay...

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Okay.

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- What happened?
- Um... it's an aneurysm.

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Those are awful.

107
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- Yeah, I've heard they're-- - So
when do you think you'll be back?

108
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- Um... I can probably be back
by Monday?

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- Oh, well, at least, you're not gonna miss
the wine and liquor convention, right?

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God, doesn't it seem like we
just had WIZDIC the other day?

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Hey, listen, how's that
PowerPoint coming?

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- Good, good, good. I thought
I'd just finish it on the plane.

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- No, no, no. You are going to
grieve on the plane.

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- Right.
- Of course, we do need it, so...

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- Yeah. Do we need it, though?
Just...

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because, I feel like I...
I do one every year.

117
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And it seems like the client
never actually looks at it.

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- And the one
time you leave your house

119
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without your spare tire... - Is the
time you get a flat.

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- Alright.

121
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- So look, do we send flowers

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or is there some kind of
aneurysm fun run?

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- The flowers works.

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I'll see you in two whole days.

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- Hey, and I sent you that list
of names, just so you have it.

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- Alright.
- Oh, my God!

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You're finally throwing him
out!?

128
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- He's just going on a trip and I'm
seeing him off 1950's housewife style.

129
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- Well, when the husband's
away...

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What time should I come over?
- Any time is a good time.

131
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- Okay...
- You better hurry home, Daddy.

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- Alright, try to get some sleep
on the plane.

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I should go.

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- Okay.
- Love you.

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- Um, hello!

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Dad?

137
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It's fine. He's not yours
anyway! So...

138
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- Hi, are you here for Ken?

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♪ A darker gray is breaking
through a lighter one ♪

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♪ A thousand sharpened elbows
in the underground ♪

141
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♪ That hollowed hurried sound
of feet on polished floor ♪

142
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♪ And in the dollar store ♪

143
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♪ The clerk is closing up ♪

144
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♪ And counting loonies trying
not to say ♪

145
00:10:02,583 --> 00:10:06,083
♪ I hate Winnipeg ♪

146
00:10:07,333 --> 00:10:08,959
- Are you sure you're doing
okay?

147
00:10:09,041 --> 00:10:11,375
- Yes, you don't have to ask me
that anymore.

148
00:10:11,458 --> 00:10:14,250
It's not like you can miss something
that was never there in the first place.

149
00:10:14,333 --> 00:10:17,709
- Don't start.
- I'm not starting.

150
00:10:17,792 --> 00:10:20,917
- I did the best I could.
- I wasn't talking about you.

151
00:10:21,000 --> 00:10:25,208
- I worked incredibly hard to give you a
good, normal home. Don't be so sensitive.

152
00:10:25,291 --> 00:10:26,875
- I'm not being sensitive.

153
00:10:26,959 --> 00:10:28,583
- You're being defensive.

154
00:10:29,625 --> 00:10:31,375
So, how are the bar plans going?

155
00:10:31,458 --> 00:10:33,959
- Gastropub, watch out.

156
00:10:34,041 --> 00:10:38,000
Uh... kind of on hold.
I had a space picked out,

157
00:10:38,083 --> 00:10:40,875
but money's a little tight
since the baby came.

158
00:10:40,959 --> 00:10:44,875
- It's a shame your father never
got to meet his grandson.

159
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Dare I hope there's a name?

160
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- Working on it.
- For the love of God!

161
00:10:50,083 --> 00:10:53,041
- Okay, look, it's not like you
come to visit anyway.

162
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- Maybe if I were invited.
- I shouldn't...

163
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How about next month?

164
00:10:58,166 --> 00:11:00,750
- Next month?
It's our busiest time.

165
00:11:00,834 --> 00:11:04,125
- Ah... busiest time in office
management?

166
00:11:04,208 --> 00:11:06,625
- Ah, it's pre-pre tax planning
season.

167
00:11:06,709 --> 00:11:10,041
Plus we have two birthdays
and a retirement.

168
00:11:10,125 --> 00:11:12,959
Can't imagine the mess
I'd come back to.

169
00:11:13,041 --> 00:11:14,834
- Can't imagine.

170
00:11:22,583 --> 00:11:24,000
- Oh!

171
00:11:24,083 --> 00:11:26,542
Wow, my ex-husband is dead.

172
00:11:26,625 --> 00:11:27,959
Guess it's my turn next.

173
00:11:30,000 --> 00:11:31,959
- That's a happy thought.

174
00:11:33,750 --> 00:11:37,583
Are you still... seeing that guy
with the thing?

175
00:11:37,667 --> 00:11:38,834
What's his name? Oscar.

176
00:11:38,917 --> 00:11:43,041
- Oscar? No, he and his wife
moved to Florida.

177
00:11:44,667 --> 00:11:46,542
- Huh...
- I'm joking.

178
00:11:46,625 --> 00:11:49,291
He had a stroke.
Everyone's dying.

179
00:11:50,834 --> 00:11:54,667
- I
think it might be... - Motherfucker!

180
00:11:54,750 --> 00:11:55,834
So, where's the service?

181
00:11:59,333 --> 00:12:01,542
Or should I guess?

182
00:12:06,208 --> 00:12:08,667
- Welcome to Niakwa
Golf and Country.

183
00:12:08,750 --> 00:12:10,750
Would you like to sign
the condolence book?

184
00:12:10,834 --> 00:12:13,750
- Oh, uh... sure.

185
00:12:16,792 --> 00:12:19,000
Who gets this after?

186
00:12:19,083 --> 00:12:20,834
- Uh...

187
00:12:20,917 --> 00:12:24,709
It condoles the family.
Are you related?

188
00:12:24,792 --> 00:12:29,166
- I am, yeah. I'm his son.
- Dude.

189
00:12:30,041 --> 00:12:33,875
- Oh, thanks. It's always nice
to... hear...

190
00:12:36,041 --> 00:12:38,000
- Someone wanted to talk to you.

191
00:12:42,709 --> 00:12:44,417
Mr. Kendall?

192
00:12:49,166 --> 00:12:52,125
- I'm guessing you're Ken?
Andy's son, hi.

193
00:12:52,208 --> 00:12:56,792
Vince Kendall, your dad's attorney
and part of his Friday foursome.

194
00:12:56,875 --> 00:12:58,083
- I guess not anymore, though.

195
00:12:59,750 --> 00:13:01,333
I don't know why I said that.

196
00:13:01,417 --> 00:13:02,333
- Your dad always told me about
your great sense of humour.

197
00:13:02,417 --> 00:13:05,041
- Oh, he did?

198
00:13:06,166 --> 00:13:09,834
- Hey! Why don't we go talk
in the Hazelton room?

199
00:13:10,917 --> 00:13:12,458
Yeah, the Hazelton room, named
after Vic Hazelton,

200
00:13:12,542 --> 00:13:18,208
great, great golfer, but an even greater
alcoholic. And a mean alcoholic.

201
00:13:18,291 --> 00:13:20,208
- Really?
- I was afraid of him.

202
00:13:20,291 --> 00:13:21,250
He once killed a horse
with a 9 iron.

203
00:13:21,333 --> 00:13:24,041
- Well...

204
00:13:24,125 --> 00:13:28,166
So I assume this is about
my dad's will?

205
00:13:28,250 --> 00:13:31,709
- The vultures are three deep at the
bar, passed apps are almost gone.

206
00:13:31,792 --> 00:13:35,959
I swear to God. Half those guys never even
met Andy, but you put a pig in a blanket...

207
00:13:36,041 --> 00:13:40,083
- Ken, Jeff Stedmon. Jeff's the executive
of your dad's will. Jeff, Ken.

208
00:13:40,166 --> 00:13:41,166
- Ken, nice to meet you.

209
00:13:41,250 --> 00:13:43,083
I'm sorry about your dad, but
if I know Andy,

210
00:13:43,166 --> 00:13:46,875
he's trying to dig Jesus for a
50-dollar Nassau as we speak.

211
00:13:46,959 --> 00:13:49,000
- He would
do that, wouldn't he?!

212
00:13:49,083 --> 00:13:53,333
"Excuse me, Mr. Christ, but isn't that
a hurricane about to hit India?!"

213
00:13:53,959 --> 00:13:56,625
- Whoop! Classic Andy
foot wedge!

214
00:13:56,709 --> 00:13:58,208
- I have no idea
what's happening.

215
00:13:58,291 --> 00:13:59,750
- You need a drink.
- Uh, I'm okay.

216
00:13:59,834 --> 00:14:00,959
- I wasn't asking.
- Oh...

217
00:14:02,417 --> 00:14:05,250
- Rachel!

218
00:14:06,417 --> 00:14:07,625
Your dad's paying!

219
00:14:07,709 --> 00:14:11,083
Open bar, passed apps, part of
his last will and testament.

220
00:14:11,166 --> 00:14:13,250
- First and last time he ever
bought a round.

221
00:14:13,333 --> 00:14:15,333
- Rachel, can you get Ken here
a little something?

222
00:14:15,417 --> 00:14:18,458
- Yeah, just a light beer.
- Kid, it's a wake.

223
00:14:18,542 --> 00:14:20,792
Bring him one of these,
freshen mine up.

224
00:14:22,333 --> 00:14:23,875
There's a hole in the glass.

225
00:14:25,458 --> 00:14:28,000
- So... shall we get down to it?

226
00:14:34,834 --> 00:14:37,458
- You guys do a lot of this
estate work at the golf course?

227
00:14:37,542 --> 00:14:39,875
- Well, business goes where
business gets done.

228
00:14:39,959 --> 00:14:42,166
That's why so many
Koreans are... Here we go!

229
00:14:43,625 --> 00:14:46,375
This is for you.

230
00:14:49,291 --> 00:14:50,583
- Oh... this is...

231
00:14:50,667 --> 00:14:53,458
- Your dad's ashes.

232
00:14:56,208 --> 00:14:59,125
Gentlemen, I am proud to
present...

233
00:15:00,875 --> 00:15:03,166
Andy Wall's final words.

234
00:15:17,166 --> 00:15:19,208
- It's slower than a ladies'
foursome.

235
00:15:21,875 --> 00:15:26,500
- My name is Andy Wall, and this
is my last will and testament.

236
00:15:26,583 --> 00:15:29,083
Do I say that? Okay.

237
00:15:29,166 --> 00:15:31,125
I've only one request
of my son,

238
00:15:31,208 --> 00:15:36,333
and that's that he scatter my ashes in the
middle of the field at Investors Stadium.

239
00:15:36,417 --> 00:15:40,000
If he does this, then,
he gets everything.

240
00:15:40,083 --> 00:15:42,875
It's not much, but then,
when my dad passed,

241
00:15:42,959 --> 00:15:44,583
I got shit all, and the
government took most of that.

242
00:15:44,667 --> 00:15:47,083
- That's the feds for you.

243
00:15:47,166 --> 00:15:49,041
- Now, if he doesn't get it
done, well, then,

244
00:15:49,125 --> 00:15:55,041
my estate goes to the club for the
construction of a members-only steam room,

245
00:15:55,125 --> 00:15:57,875
which could have been done
last fiscal,

246
00:15:57,959 --> 00:16:02,125
but Steve London isn't much of an
accountant, so now, it's up to me.

247
00:16:02,208 --> 00:16:05,542
- Boy, do not get him started
on Steve London.

248
00:16:05,625 --> 00:16:08,875
- And it has to be done within
two days of my service.

249
00:16:08,959 --> 00:16:11,291
I don't wanna sit on some
shelf somewhere while my son

250
00:16:11,375 --> 00:16:15,250
slaps his dick around trying
to figure out what's what.

251
00:16:16,417 --> 00:16:17,959
Uh, Vince has the details

252
00:16:18,041 --> 00:16:23,250
and Jeff'll make sure it gets done
before the money gets handed over.

253
00:16:23,333 --> 00:16:25,542
Okay, that's it.

254
00:16:25,625 --> 00:16:29,083
Would you... go find that oriental
nurse, you know, the one with the--

255
00:16:33,625 --> 00:16:36,458
- Why did he look like that?
I thought he had an aneurysm?

256
00:16:36,542 --> 00:16:39,959
- Well, the aneurysm was one of the
side effects of the lung cancer.

257
00:16:40,041 --> 00:16:40,959
- Lung cancer?

258
00:16:41,041 --> 00:16:43,375
- And a lifetime of
self-medicating.

259
00:16:43,458 --> 00:16:45,417
- Yeah, we all thought his liver
would go first.

260
00:16:45,500 --> 00:16:47,417
- Yeah, he never even got
to the chemo, you know.

261
00:16:47,500 --> 00:16:50,083
By the time he got his saggy
ass to the doctor,

262
00:16:50,166 --> 00:16:52,291
he was already line seven with a
marshal up his ass.

263
00:16:52,375 --> 00:16:55,041
- Nothing to do but pick up
and head in...

264
00:16:55,125 --> 00:16:57,959
to that 19th hole in the sky.

265
00:16:58,041 --> 00:17:01,083
- Golf terms. Golf terms.
- Mm-hmm.

266
00:17:01,166 --> 00:17:02,750
- Any questions?

267
00:17:02,834 --> 00:17:03,750
- Well, uh...
- Thanks, Rachel.

268
00:17:03,834 --> 00:17:06,417
- A few, yeah. Um...

269
00:17:06,500 --> 00:17:09,959
- We really don't amount to
much in the end, do we?

270
00:17:10,041 --> 00:17:14,667
- Why would... why would he want his
ashes scattered at Investors Stadium?

271
00:17:14,750 --> 00:17:17,041
- It was his only request.

272
00:17:17,125 --> 00:17:19,041
- That and the open bar!
- And the passed apps.

273
00:17:19,125 --> 00:17:20,959
- And the estate...?

274
00:17:21,041 --> 00:17:24,000
- I'm not allowed to tell you
the amount until it's all done.

275
00:17:24,083 --> 00:17:28,208
- 40 years in sales. God, that
bastard knew how to incentivize.

276
00:17:31,667 --> 00:17:34,208
Uh... how would I even...

277
00:17:35,125 --> 00:17:37,083
- Look, we're not gonna
force you.

278
00:17:37,166 --> 00:17:38,959
- No one's got a gun to your head.
- This is not China.

279
00:17:39,041 --> 00:17:40,250
- I read a thing, when the next
generation of this country

280
00:17:40,333 --> 00:17:42,667
is gonna come out the chute
speaking Mandarin.

281
00:17:42,750 --> 00:17:45,125
- Really?
- Listen, I have...

282
00:17:45,208 --> 00:17:47,625
a lot of stuff on my plate
right now, uh...

283
00:17:47,709 --> 00:17:49,917
Could I have a little time
to think about it?

284
00:17:50,000 --> 00:17:51,458
- Of course, absolutely.

285
00:17:51,542 --> 00:17:53,750
Though we should get this show
on the road.

286
00:17:53,834 --> 00:17:56,000
Some mourners have
their T-times.

287
00:17:56,083 --> 00:17:59,458
Not that they'd walk or anything, but
your dad really hated slow play.

288
00:17:59,542 --> 00:18:03,375
- "While we're young!"
- He said that a lot.

289
00:18:03,458 --> 00:18:05,542
- Rest in peace.

290
00:18:07,417 --> 00:18:09,125
Shall we go?
- Yeah.

291
00:18:11,333 --> 00:18:14,417
- Well, I'd like to thank
everyone for coming

292
00:18:14,500 --> 00:18:18,375
to this celebration of life.

293
00:18:18,458 --> 00:18:21,250
The other day, we lost a friend,
a colleague,

294
00:18:21,333 --> 00:18:24,333
and a man who couldn't hit a
7-iron to save his life.

295
00:18:26,125 --> 00:18:29,250
So to that end, we are putting
Andy's name on a plaque,

296
00:18:29,333 --> 00:18:32,333
on the ball washer on Number 9,
Andy's favourite hole.

297
00:18:32,417 --> 00:18:34,667
- Not his favourite!
- Yeah, okay.

298
00:18:34,750 --> 00:18:40,166
- My fondest memory of Andy was
when he hit a wedge off a tree

299
00:18:40,250 --> 00:18:44,166
and it landed in that tiny
hollow where a pipe was broken.

300
00:18:44,250 --> 00:18:48,291
And he wanted to call it...
ground under repair.

301
00:18:48,375 --> 00:18:50,125
But...

302
00:18:50,208 --> 00:18:53,291
- Serving on the logistics
committee is a thankless task.

303
00:18:53,375 --> 00:18:56,375
But Andy was always good about
stepping up.

304
00:18:56,458 --> 00:18:57,417
Oh!

305
00:18:59,709 --> 00:19:04,500
- The specialty ad game is more
than just logos on pens.

306
00:19:04,583 --> 00:19:05,375
And he knew that.

307
00:19:07,500 --> 00:19:09,166
He got that.

308
00:19:10,458 --> 00:19:14,417
- We said, "Andy, that's not
ground under repair.

309
00:19:14,500 --> 00:19:17,125
That's a water hazard!"

310
00:19:18,458 --> 00:19:23,166
- Uh... so when you see the new
compressed air spikes cleaner,

311
00:19:23,250 --> 00:19:26,083
you should know
Andy fought for that.

312
00:19:26,166 --> 00:19:30,583
Also, Spring Fling tickets
are now on sale. Thank you.

313
00:19:32,542 --> 00:19:34,917
- Now, some of you
may know that...

314
00:19:35,000 --> 00:19:38,500
Andy left behind a son.

315
00:19:38,583 --> 00:19:40,709
Ken.

316
00:19:40,792 --> 00:19:42,458
Ken, would you stand for the
people?

317
00:19:45,792 --> 00:19:47,750
And now, Ken's gonna
say a few words.

318
00:20:01,750 --> 00:20:04,250
- Hello.

319
00:20:04,333 --> 00:20:07,083
Uh... I didn't really
prepare anything,

320
00:20:07,166 --> 00:20:11,208
so I'm not sure why I'm looking
through my jacket...

321
00:20:11,291 --> 00:20:13,125
Wow...

322
00:20:13,208 --> 00:20:16,375
Uh, what can I say about my dad?

323
00:20:16,458 --> 00:20:18,625
Well, he...
Oh!

324
00:20:18,709 --> 00:20:20,208
Thank you.

325
00:20:20,291 --> 00:20:23,333
- The apple doesn't fall far
from the tree!

326
00:20:25,542 --> 00:20:31,583
- Last time I saw him was
at my wedding five years ago.

327
00:20:31,667 --> 00:20:33,291
He flew in late and left early.

328
00:20:33,375 --> 00:20:38,375
Last time I talked to him was
last Christmas.

329
00:20:38,458 --> 00:20:40,834
Yeah, well...
I tried to talk to him.

330
00:20:40,917 --> 00:20:46,125
If you called after 4, you really
never knew what you were gonna get.

331
00:20:49,709 --> 00:20:51,250
My dad was, uh...

332
00:20:51,750 --> 00:20:53,542
He was...

333
00:20:54,917 --> 00:20:57,500
He worked a lot.

334
00:20:58,583 --> 00:21:01,542
He... must've liked his job.

335
00:21:01,625 --> 00:21:06,375
He always paid his child
support on time. I think.

336
00:21:07,834 --> 00:21:10,166
He loved golf,

337
00:21:10,250 --> 00:21:10,834
probably more than...

338
00:21:10,917 --> 00:21:14,250
anything, really.

339
00:21:16,041 --> 00:21:18,834
I remember...

340
00:21:18,917 --> 00:21:23,000
he used to love
telling this one joke

341
00:21:23,083 --> 00:21:25,667
when I was a kid, over and over.

342
00:21:26,583 --> 00:21:31,333
It was about this golfer who got
home late

343
00:21:31,417 --> 00:21:36,375
and his wife was worried, upset.

344
00:21:36,458 --> 00:21:40,542
And the golfer explained
that on the...

345
00:21:40,625 --> 00:21:45,959
on the course, one of the foursome
had a heart attack and died.

346
00:21:47,000 --> 00:21:50,291
Yeah... Uh...

347
00:21:50,375 --> 00:21:53,417
And the wife says, "Wow, that's
awful."

348
00:21:53,500 --> 00:21:58,375
And then the husband says,
"Yeah, it was terrible.

349
00:21:58,458 --> 00:22:01,375
Just... just terrible.

350
00:22:01,458 --> 00:22:06,625
The rest of the day was just:
Hit your ball, drag Walter.

351
00:22:08,667 --> 00:22:10,834
Hit your ball, drag Walter."

352
00:22:16,667 --> 00:22:18,792
Here's to you, Dad.

353
00:22:18,875 --> 00:22:22,375
I may not have known you well, but...
you brought me into this world,

354
00:22:22,458 --> 00:22:24,667
served on some committees,

355
00:22:25,500 --> 00:22:28,792
and the ninth hole was
your favourite.

356
00:22:28,875 --> 00:22:30,667
One man's legacy. Cheers.

357
00:22:39,500 --> 00:22:41,250
- Thank you, Ken.

358
00:22:41,333 --> 00:22:45,583
Well, there's gonna be a brief
PowerPoint presentation,

359
00:22:45,667 --> 00:22:48,834
and then, in honour of Andy, we can
all go stand in the sand trap.

360
00:22:49,834 --> 00:22:51,083
Rachel, would you grab
the lights?

361
00:22:54,166 --> 00:22:56,417
♪ There's one pet
I like to pet ♪

362
00:22:56,500 --> 00:22:58,709
♪ And every evening we get set ♪

363
00:22:58,792 --> 00:23:00,125
♪ I stroke it every chance
I get ♪

364
00:23:00,208 --> 00:23:03,458
♪ It's my girl's pussy ♪

365
00:23:03,542 --> 00:23:05,917
♪ Seldom plays and never purrs ♪

366
00:23:06,000 --> 00:23:07,959
♪ And I love the thoughts
it stirs ♪

367
00:23:08,041 --> 00:23:10,500
♪ But I don't mind
because it's hers ♪

368
00:23:10,583 --> 00:23:13,000
♪ It's my girl's pussy ♪

369
00:23:16,500 --> 00:23:17,667
Well, it was quite a speech.

370
00:23:19,667 --> 00:23:21,375
- I don't even know why I came
back for this.

371
00:23:21,458 --> 00:23:24,542
- Yeah, it's a gut-punch
to the nads alright.

372
00:23:25,542 --> 00:23:28,625
Say, how's your mom?
I thought she might come.

373
00:23:28,709 --> 00:23:31,458
- Guy disappears from my life
for 20 years and expects me

374
00:23:31,542 --> 00:23:34,959
just to... grant his final wish.

375
00:23:35,041 --> 00:23:39,458
- You wanna know why he wants his
ashes scattered on the field?

376
00:23:39,542 --> 00:23:41,333
- It's not like he was a fan.

377
00:23:41,417 --> 00:23:43,875
Didn't go to the games.

378
00:23:43,959 --> 00:23:45,583
Didn't go anywhere.

379
00:23:46,583 --> 00:23:49,458
- He had season tickets
before you were born.

380
00:23:49,542 --> 00:23:51,041
- What?
- Yeah, and then,

381
00:23:51,125 --> 00:23:54,875
you came along and...
you know, he just...

382
00:23:54,959 --> 00:23:59,375
He let them go. You know, said it was
just too expensive with a kid and all.

383
00:23:59,458 --> 00:24:00,709
And it broke his heart.

384
00:24:00,792 --> 00:24:03,792
But he never went
to another game. For you.

385
00:24:05,542 --> 00:24:06,583
- Is that true?

386
00:24:07,750 --> 00:24:09,917
Hey!

387
00:24:10,000 --> 00:24:11,625
- Your dad came from a
generation that knew

388
00:24:11,709 --> 00:24:15,291
how to sacrifice without
putting it on Facebook.

389
00:24:15,375 --> 00:24:18,000
Hey, everybody, I'm selfie-ing
myself washing oil off an owl.

390
00:24:18,083 --> 00:24:20,625
Give me a thumbs up and
a government grant.

391
00:24:20,709 --> 00:24:24,709
- I hate to rush you, Ken, but I have some
other legal stuff that I should attend to.

392
00:24:24,792 --> 00:24:25,667
- Oh, yeah. Uh...

393
00:24:25,750 --> 00:24:28,709
Listen, I'm... I'm sorry, guys,
but--

394
00:24:28,792 --> 00:24:30,875
- Look, kid, I know how you
feel, but...

395
00:24:30,959 --> 00:24:32,875
trust me, it'll be worth
your while.

396
00:24:32,959 --> 00:24:35,542
- Jeff, the legal terms of Andy's
will quite clearly state--

397
00:24:35,625 --> 00:24:38,542
- The legal terms can lick
my shitter.

398
00:24:38,625 --> 00:24:41,542
You want it done or not?
- Yes I want it done.

399
00:24:41,625 --> 00:24:43,875
And you know what, with no funny stuff--
- Oh, here we go!

400
00:24:43,959 --> 00:24:46,041
Happens every time.
Five drinks in, never fails.

401
00:24:46,125 --> 00:24:48,000
- You know what the odds are
of the same person

402
00:24:48,083 --> 00:24:52,041
winning the three main prizes
at the Spring Fling Raffle lot?

403
00:24:52,125 --> 00:24:54,875
- You know, why don't you
just come out and say it?

404
00:24:54,959 --> 00:24:57,000
Say you think
I rigged the draw.

405
00:24:57,083 --> 00:24:59,709
- If the Boneco 7114
humidifier fits!

406
00:24:59,792 --> 00:25:00,875
Ball!

407
00:25:00,959 --> 00:25:02,792
What the...?

408
00:25:02,875 --> 00:25:04,667
Marty.

409
00:25:04,750 --> 00:25:08,917
- Hey, we're trying to play
through here! Am I right, guys?

410
00:25:09,000 --> 00:25:10,083
- No, that's not right.

411
00:25:10,166 --> 00:25:11,750
- No, we're standing
on a bridge.

412
00:25:11,834 --> 00:25:13,875
- This... this is not part of
the course.

413
00:25:14,750 --> 00:25:16,500
- Can we just rewind a little?
What were you saying there?

414
00:25:16,583 --> 00:25:21,875
- I'm just saying it could go a long way
towards setting up a young family. You know?

415
00:25:21,959 --> 00:25:24,083
Well, unless you want your kid
to end up like Vinnie's.

416
00:25:24,166 --> 00:25:25,125
One felon and
one felon in training.

417
00:25:25,208 --> 00:25:27,291
What? Tell me I'm wrong.

418
00:25:27,375 --> 00:25:28,667
- Look, my oldest is...

419
00:25:32,083 --> 00:25:34,750
...is truly awful.

420
00:25:34,834 --> 00:25:36,500
Even the social worker says so.
- Yeah, lot of good she did.

421
00:25:36,583 --> 00:25:39,500
I'm from the government,
I'm here to help.

422
00:25:39,583 --> 00:25:43,000
- She says that some teens just...
like to show it in public.

423
00:25:43,083 --> 00:25:47,500
There's nothing you can do other
than hope they grow out of it.

424
00:25:47,583 --> 00:25:51,875
Does your kid, uh... unzip his fly
and run through the school yelling:

425
00:25:51,959 --> 00:25:54,625
"I'm the teacher, I'm the teacher!
Learn this! Learn this!"

426
00:25:54,709 --> 00:25:57,959
Does your kid...?
Is that a normal kid thing...

427
00:25:58,041 --> 00:26:01,208
- Well, he's just a baby. So...

428
00:26:03,875 --> 00:26:07,125
- Okay, fine. Tell him.

429
00:26:07,208 --> 00:26:10,792
But the two-day timeline,
consider that carved in stone!

430
00:26:10,875 --> 00:26:12,291
- Ah...
- Oh, and I will also require

431
00:26:12,375 --> 00:26:17,792
what we call in the law business
evidence of disposal of human remains.

432
00:26:19,208 --> 00:26:21,417
- What do they call it outside
the law business?

433
00:26:22,208 --> 00:26:24,542
- Lots of things.
There's lots of names for it.

434
00:26:24,625 --> 00:26:27,500
- Holy shit! $200,000?!
- I know!

435
00:26:27,583 --> 00:26:30,709
All I have to do is take the ashes and
scatter them on a football field.

436
00:26:30,792 --> 00:26:33,125
- College fund, hello!

437
00:26:33,208 --> 00:26:35,709
- I know, that's what
I was thinking.

438
00:26:35,792 --> 00:26:38,542
Plus, we now can really talk about the other
thing that we were, you know, were gonna do.

439
00:26:40,041 --> 00:26:43,500
- What other thing? The gastropub thing?
That's still on the table?

440
00:26:43,583 --> 00:26:45,000
- Of course,
it's still on the table.

441
00:26:45,083 --> 00:26:47,583
Why would that not
be on the table?

442
00:26:47,667 --> 00:26:49,792
Just because there's
a kid at the table now?

443
00:26:49,875 --> 00:26:51,250
- Okay, easy, Cranky Pants.

444
00:26:51,333 --> 00:26:52,667
I had to put some stuff
on hold too, you know.

445
00:26:52,750 --> 00:26:55,917
I know. I'm sorry. It's...

446
00:26:56,000 --> 00:26:58,875
you know, still dealing with
a death in the family.

447
00:26:58,959 --> 00:27:01,667
- Hmm. Still milking that,
are we?

448
00:27:01,750 --> 00:27:07,333
- Okay. You realize that there's a
half-naked man behind you holding our baby.

449
00:27:07,417 --> 00:27:09,750
- Yeah. I just needed a break.

450
00:27:09,834 --> 00:27:10,834
- Hmm.

451
00:27:10,917 --> 00:27:12,750
Did his shirt need a break too?

452
00:27:12,834 --> 00:27:16,542
- It's covered in your son's
puke. Not that I mind.

453
00:27:16,625 --> 00:27:20,709
- Hmm. You're lucky that
I am very secure.

454
00:27:20,792 --> 00:27:22,250
- Hmm?

455
00:27:22,333 --> 00:27:25,667
Nothing wrong with looking, is there, Mr.
Clear Browser History?

456
00:27:25,750 --> 00:27:29,166
Hey, um...
wanna see somethin'?

457
00:27:30,667 --> 00:27:33,041
- Yeah, sure, I mean,
is it okay?

458
00:27:33,125 --> 00:27:35,834
Oh!

459
00:27:35,917 --> 00:27:39,166
- Does this look normal to you? 'Cause the
Internet says it is, but I do not think so.

460
00:27:39,250 --> 00:27:42,542
- No, it does not look normal!
What's wrong with you?

461
00:27:42,625 --> 00:27:44,750
Trust me,
it's even worse in person.

462
00:27:44,834 --> 00:27:45,709
- Alright. You know what?
I have to go.

463
00:27:45,792 --> 00:27:49,083
Love you.
- Yeah, you fucking better.

464
00:27:49,166 --> 00:27:52,125
'Cause he's great with our kid
and I bet I can flip him.

465
00:27:56,208 --> 00:27:59,667
You have an appointment with the
team's PR person at 10 a.m. tomorrow.

466
00:27:59,750 --> 00:28:04,083
- Uh, okay.
What did you tell them?

467
00:28:04,166 --> 00:28:07,125
- That you wanted to discuss a
donation...

468
00:28:07,208 --> 00:28:08,291
...which was kind of true.

469
00:28:08,375 --> 00:28:11,000
- Thanks, Mom.

470
00:28:11,083 --> 00:28:15,750
Hey, did you know that Dad used
to have season tickets?

471
00:28:17,333 --> 00:28:18,291
- I did.

472
00:28:18,375 --> 00:28:22,041
- Oh.
- Andy...

473
00:28:22,125 --> 00:28:25,875
- Did I know that?
- Ashes to ashes...

474
00:28:25,959 --> 00:28:28,083
Whoa!
- Whoa, whoa, whoa!

475
00:28:28,166 --> 00:28:29,625
- Oopsie, all good. Easy fix.

476
00:28:29,709 --> 00:28:33,041
- Easy fix!? There's like, what's
equivalent to a foot on the floor now.

477
00:28:35,000 --> 00:28:37,625
- It comes at you faster than
you think, you know.

478
00:28:37,709 --> 00:28:40,959
I hope I'm not all alone
at the end.

479
00:28:41,041 --> 00:28:43,125
- You're not gonna be alone,
Mom.

480
00:28:43,208 --> 00:28:47,750
- My son moved to another city,
my husband is in a plastic bag.

481
00:28:47,834 --> 00:28:49,083
- Ex-husband! Who you hated.

482
00:28:49,166 --> 00:28:54,125
- Who stole the best years of
my life and wore me out,

483
00:28:54,208 --> 00:28:55,583
so nobody else
would ever want me.

484
00:28:55,667 --> 00:29:01,041
"Oh, I got time." You get pregnant
at 19, you do what you have to...

485
00:29:01,125 --> 00:29:03,667
Ah-ha!

486
00:29:04,583 --> 00:29:07,333
These never tear.
- Ah...

487
00:29:07,417 --> 00:29:11,208
Okay, let's move Dad over here.

488
00:29:14,500 --> 00:29:16,834
Let's just...
- There's a lot of him.

489
00:29:16,917 --> 00:29:20,125
- Mm-hmm.
- I feel like a drug dealer.

490
00:29:22,417 --> 00:29:24,959
- So here's something I was
always curious about.

491
00:29:26,750 --> 00:29:29,959
When did you know that you and
Dad weren't gonna work out?

492
00:29:30,041 --> 00:29:32,000
- Why do you ask?

493
00:29:32,083 --> 00:29:34,250
- Uh... just wondering.

494
00:29:36,041 --> 00:29:39,750
- I'd have to say the second day
of our honeymoon.

495
00:29:41,917 --> 00:29:46,083
Do you remember that Popsicle-stick fort
we made when you were in grade school?

496
00:29:47,834 --> 00:29:48,917
It's fun doing activities.

497
00:29:50,792 --> 00:29:52,208
Go on.

498
00:30:11,458 --> 00:30:14,750
- You go in the backseat
in there, Dad.

499
00:30:54,834 --> 00:30:56,333
Hello.

500
00:30:56,417 --> 00:31:01,250
- Hey, it's Jeff. What number
came up when you got this?

501
00:31:01,333 --> 00:31:04,250
- What... what... my dad's!
What number you think came up?

502
00:31:04,333 --> 00:31:07,000
- Yeah, okay, yeah. Well, he
said I could have his phone.

503
00:31:07,083 --> 00:31:11,709
So I got some roll-over minutes to use up
before I switch the number. Where are you?

504
00:31:11,792 --> 00:31:14,333
- I'm at the Stadium.
- Wow!

505
00:31:14,417 --> 00:31:17,291
Just remember, we need a
picture, evidence or some shit.

506
00:31:17,375 --> 00:31:18,959
And there's a box of stuff
for you at your dad's house.

507
00:31:19,041 --> 00:31:23,250
- Yeah, I'll swing by after.
Probably...

508
00:31:24,458 --> 00:31:26,291
I just realize I don't even know
where he lived.

509
00:31:26,375 --> 00:31:28,917
- I'll send you the address.
I can meet you there.

510
00:31:29,000 --> 00:31:34,125
If you get there first, he keeps the key
under a rusty can by the back door.

511
00:31:34,208 --> 00:31:35,250
- Rusty can. Alright.

512
00:31:35,333 --> 00:31:37,208
- Lady, I know there's no phone
at the tables--

513
00:32:01,959 --> 00:32:03,166
- Hello!

514
00:32:05,083 --> 00:32:07,083
Hi, are you Ken?

515
00:32:07,166 --> 00:32:10,166
- Ah, yes.
- I'm Katherine. Hi.

516
00:32:10,250 --> 00:32:13,000
Your assistant said on the phone
your father recently passed.

517
00:32:13,083 --> 00:32:14,667
I'm so sorry for your loss.
- Thank you.

518
00:32:14,750 --> 00:32:19,208
- Have you considered a contribution in
your father's name to our Foundation?

519
00:32:19,291 --> 00:32:23,458
You know, we can actually put
his name on a brick

520
00:32:23,542 --> 00:32:24,750
on our Wall of Super Fans.

521
00:32:24,834 --> 00:32:29,166
- Well, that's kind of why I'm
here. Now this may sound odd,

522
00:32:29,250 --> 00:32:34,500
but my dad really wanted his
ashes scattered on the field.

523
00:32:34,583 --> 00:32:38,041
- Hmm...
- Your field.

524
00:32:38,125 --> 00:32:39,041
- Hmm...

525
00:32:42,458 --> 00:32:44,125
- That one.

526
00:32:46,208 --> 00:32:48,917
- I totally understand and
we can't do that.

527
00:32:49,000 --> 00:32:52,125
Just health issues for
the players, coaches, staff...

528
00:32:53,208 --> 00:32:57,208
- And I thought of that, so what if,
in addition to a sizeable donation,

529
00:32:57,291 --> 00:33:01,083
I had a professional cleaning
service come in with a...

530
00:33:01,166 --> 00:33:04,542
you know, like a Shop-Vac?
Or something better.

531
00:33:04,625 --> 00:33:07,500
So that I could just, you know,
get a picture with the ashes

532
00:33:07,583 --> 00:33:09,000
being scattered or placed.
- Right.

533
00:33:09,083 --> 00:33:12,375
- And they can vacuum up
everything and...

534
00:33:12,458 --> 00:33:14,417
like we were never here.
- Right, right.

535
00:33:14,500 --> 00:33:18,125
Yeah, no, we can't do that.
It's just... it's club policy.

536
00:33:19,000 --> 00:33:23,458
- Really? Do you really get that
request enough that there's a rule?

537
00:33:23,542 --> 00:33:28,500
- Well, I mean, anything that's not
authorized is considered unauthorized, so...

538
00:33:28,583 --> 00:33:30,083
- Mm-hmm! Right.

539
00:33:30,166 --> 00:33:33,250
So what if this one time...
you just...

540
00:33:33,333 --> 00:33:36,041
authorize something that
was unauthorized?

541
00:33:36,125 --> 00:33:39,000
- I'm not authorized, yeah.

542
00:33:39,083 --> 00:33:43,959
- Could I speak to someone
who is?

543
00:33:44,041 --> 00:33:45,250
- You know, why don't you send
us an email?

544
00:33:48,375 --> 00:33:51,250
Now, is there anything else
I can help you with?

545
00:33:51,709 --> 00:33:55,375
- Well... no.

546
00:33:55,458 --> 00:33:57,875
- All the best. Yeah, again,

547
00:33:57,959 --> 00:34:00,208
sorry for your loss.
- Thank you.

548
00:34:13,208 --> 00:34:18,000
Yeah?
- Hey, buddy, it's your boss.

549
00:34:18,083 --> 00:34:20,250
Just wanted to see
how the funeral went.

550
00:34:20,333 --> 00:34:24,458
- It went... about as well as
could be expected.

551
00:34:24,542 --> 00:34:25,875
- Oh, great, awesome.

552
00:34:25,959 --> 00:34:30,125
So, hey, any progress on the
old PP, Senor El Power Pointo?

553
00:34:30,208 --> 00:34:34,625
I hate to ask, but it's...
crazy around here.

554
00:34:34,709 --> 00:34:35,792
We're down a guy,
so it's nuts.

555
00:34:35,875 --> 00:34:38,625
- Uh... I'm working on it.

556
00:34:38,709 --> 00:34:41,458
- Listen, you do what you need
for you first, okay?

557
00:34:41,542 --> 00:34:44,458
Just let me know later today.

558
00:34:44,542 --> 00:34:47,208
- Yeah. Alright.

559
00:35:50,000 --> 00:35:52,333
- Hey.
- Oh, shit!

560
00:35:52,417 --> 00:35:53,542
Hey, man.

561
00:35:53,625 --> 00:35:56,125
- What the hell you think
you're doing?

562
00:35:56,208 --> 00:36:00,000
- Uh, yeah. Funny story.
Actually, I was just...

563
00:36:00,083 --> 00:36:03,458
meeting with your PR department.

564
00:36:03,542 --> 00:36:07,291
- Get off the gate, nutjob.
- Yeah, I got you.

565
00:36:07,375 --> 00:36:10,500
Um... If you could just hand me
my... my bag real quick.

566
00:36:12,542 --> 00:36:13,458
- What's in it?

567
00:36:15,375 --> 00:36:17,166
You got a bomb in here?

568
00:36:17,250 --> 00:36:22,250
Is this some alt-right
false flag operation?

569
00:36:22,333 --> 00:36:25,333
- What, no? No flags...

570
00:36:25,417 --> 00:36:28,208
No, no, no, don't open that,
please.

571
00:36:28,291 --> 00:36:29,417
- I think I better get the cops.

572
00:36:31,750 --> 00:36:33,291
- Wait, wait, wait, no!
It's my dad.

573
00:36:35,125 --> 00:36:36,542
It's my dead dad.
It's his ashes.

574
00:36:36,625 --> 00:36:37,834
- Don't play me, kid.
- I'm not playing you.

575
00:36:37,917 --> 00:36:41,458
- How do I know you're just not
some jock-sniffing pervert?

576
00:36:43,166 --> 00:36:45,500
- Well, I mean...

577
00:36:45,583 --> 00:36:48,583
It's kinda hard
to prove a negative.

578
00:36:48,667 --> 00:36:52,250
Is that a big problem around
here? Jock sniffers?

579
00:36:53,083 --> 00:36:54,709
- I've seen some things.

580
00:36:55,834 --> 00:37:00,333
- Huh. - Would you mind
getting off my gate, please?

581
00:37:00,417 --> 00:37:02,500
- Yeah. Yes, absolutely.

582
00:37:05,625 --> 00:37:07,542
Alright, here I go.

583
00:37:07,625 --> 00:37:10,625
Okay.

584
00:37:10,709 --> 00:37:13,583
Just hand me my bag, please.
- Sure.

585
00:37:14,709 --> 00:37:16,583
What's it worth to you?

586
00:37:17,792 --> 00:37:21,000
- How's 20 bucks?

587
00:37:21,083 --> 00:37:23,500
- Deal.
- Alright.

588
00:37:26,750 --> 00:37:29,333
Or... uh...

589
00:37:29,417 --> 00:37:31,166
how about...

590
00:37:31,250 --> 00:37:33,333
I give you everything in my
wallet

591
00:37:33,417 --> 00:37:38,375
if you just take those ashes
and sprinkle them at midfield?

592
00:37:39,917 --> 00:37:41,792
- How much is everything?

593
00:37:44,375 --> 00:37:45,500
- I got...

594
00:37:45,583 --> 00:37:49,333
20... 40... 50...

595
00:37:50,583 --> 00:37:53,458
I can head to an ATM.
- No!

596
00:37:54,834 --> 00:37:57,417
Better off no paper trail.

597
00:37:57,500 --> 00:37:59,333
These guys'll be done in a
couple hours.

598
00:37:59,417 --> 00:38:03,208
I'm already off,
but I'll come back.

599
00:38:03,291 --> 00:38:04,500
- Perfect.

600
00:38:04,583 --> 00:38:06,625
I'll just wait for you here.
- Can't wait.

601
00:38:06,709 --> 00:38:09,333
Security does sweeps,
you'll get us caught.

602
00:38:09,417 --> 00:38:12,667
- Okay, here, here.
Take my card, okay?

603
00:38:12,750 --> 00:38:16,792
Kenneth Wall, that's me.
Here's my phone number, okay?

604
00:38:16,875 --> 00:38:18,917
Take that, if you could text me

605
00:38:19,000 --> 00:38:22,792
a picture of you dumping
the ashes at midfield.

606
00:38:22,875 --> 00:38:24,709
- Sure, yeah.
- Okay?

607
00:38:24,792 --> 00:38:26,208
You got a phone?
- Yeah.

608
00:38:26,291 --> 00:38:27,625
- You know how to text?

609
00:38:29,709 --> 00:38:33,291
Alright, cool. Thanks, man.
- You...

610
00:38:34,291 --> 00:38:36,500
If you want... I should say
something when I dump him?

611
00:38:36,583 --> 00:38:40,542
- Uh... if the mood strikes you.
- I know a poem.

612
00:38:40,625 --> 00:38:44,000
- Cool. That'd be great.

613
00:38:44,083 --> 00:38:46,333
- "Do not stand on my grave
and weep.

614
00:38:46,417 --> 00:38:50,208
I am not there,
I do not sleep.

615
00:38:50,291 --> 00:38:52,875
I'm a thousand winds that blow.

616
00:38:52,959 --> 00:38:57,208
I'm the diamond glints on snow.

617
00:38:57,291 --> 00:39:00,000
I am the sun
on ripened grain.

618
00:39:00,083 --> 00:39:03,333
I am the gentle autumn rain."

619
00:39:03,417 --> 00:39:06,917
- It's beautiful. Thank you.
Alright.

620
00:39:07,000 --> 00:39:09,834
- "When you awaken..."
- Not done yet, okay.

621
00:39:09,917 --> 00:39:12,083
- "...in the morning hush.

622
00:39:12,166 --> 00:39:15,959
I am the swift uplifting rush

623
00:39:16,041 --> 00:39:18,417
of quiet birds in circled
flight.

624
00:39:18,500 --> 00:39:21,667
I am the soft stars
that shine at night.

625
00:39:21,750 --> 00:39:24,625
Do not stand at my grave
and cry.

626
00:39:24,709 --> 00:39:29,000
I am not there; I did not die."

627
00:40:55,625 --> 00:40:58,083
Hmm...

628
00:41:06,041 --> 00:41:08,583
- Hey, buddy!

629
00:41:08,667 --> 00:41:10,041
How's it going?

630
00:41:10,125 --> 00:41:12,959
I'm in my dad's house.

631
00:41:13,041 --> 00:41:15,834
- Why are you whispering?

632
00:41:15,917 --> 00:41:17,542
- I don't know.

633
00:41:18,417 --> 00:41:19,834
Check this out.

634
00:41:21,041 --> 00:41:24,709
- What is that?
- A drill press, I think.

635
00:41:24,792 --> 00:41:26,208
- He wasn't a serial killer,
was he?

636
00:41:26,291 --> 00:41:30,208
- Um, I'm gonna go with...

637
00:41:30,291 --> 00:41:32,458
...maybe.
- That's not funny,

638
00:41:32,542 --> 00:41:33,583
that shit's fucking genetic.

639
00:41:35,500 --> 00:41:37,583
- Oh, found the remote.

640
00:41:41,625 --> 00:41:43,875
- Did someone already clear out
his stuff?

641
00:41:43,959 --> 00:41:46,000
- No, I think this is just

642
00:41:46,083 --> 00:41:47,667
how he lived.

643
00:41:49,208 --> 00:41:52,083
- Wow... it's really...

644
00:41:52,166 --> 00:41:53,917
lonely.

645
00:41:54,000 --> 00:41:55,917
- Creepy.

646
00:41:59,750 --> 00:42:02,000
Holy shit.

647
00:42:03,875 --> 00:42:06,041
What the...
- Wow...

648
00:42:06,125 --> 00:42:09,166
Okay, I guess he had a thing
for planes.

649
00:42:09,250 --> 00:42:11,500
- Apparently.

650
00:42:12,709 --> 00:42:14,500
- And Halloween-themed
carpeting.

651
00:42:14,583 --> 00:42:18,083
What if he had this like,
weird secret fetish that...

652
00:42:18,166 --> 00:42:21,417
Holy shit, Ken, behind you!
- What the fuck?!

653
00:42:21,500 --> 00:42:23,750
- Easy, A-Rod!
The door was open.

654
00:42:23,834 --> 00:42:25,625
- You scared the shit out of me.
Sorry.

655
00:42:27,583 --> 00:42:29,125
Oh, that's my wife, Laurie.

656
00:42:29,208 --> 00:42:33,709
Laurie, this is Jeff, he's
the executor of my dad's will.

657
00:42:33,792 --> 00:42:36,709
- Nice to meet you, pretty lady.
- Hi! Nice to meet you.

658
00:42:36,792 --> 00:42:39,000
Sorry to scream,

659
00:42:39,083 --> 00:42:41,625
I just didn't exp--

660
00:42:41,709 --> 00:42:43,583
Fuck, Ken. Not again.

661
00:42:43,667 --> 00:42:45,500
- What did I do?

662
00:42:45,583 --> 00:42:48,709
- They really stay filled out
after they pop one, don't they?

663
00:42:50,291 --> 00:42:51,792
I'm talking about her titties.
- Yeah, I got it.

664
00:42:55,875 --> 00:42:58,000
- Here's that box I was telling
you about.

665
00:42:58,375 --> 00:43:00,709
- Yeah.

666
00:43:02,250 --> 00:43:04,125
Native-American man
in a loin cloth.

667
00:43:04,208 --> 00:43:05,792
That's not mine.

668
00:43:07,166 --> 00:43:08,542
Ah...

669
00:43:08,625 --> 00:43:12,250
Sports Illustrated
calendar from 2007.

670
00:43:16,667 --> 00:43:19,792
What's this?
- Your dad was quite an athlete.

671
00:43:19,875 --> 00:43:24,083
- Yeah, this is mine.
From like... 25 years ago.

672
00:43:25,125 --> 00:43:27,834
Peewee division C tournament
champion.

673
00:43:27,917 --> 00:43:30,625
Smallest guy on the team. I, uh...
I scored the winning touchdown.

674
00:43:30,709 --> 00:43:33,917
Interception, free safety,
of course.

675
00:43:34,000 --> 00:43:37,959
Forty-yard run, got tackled at
the one...

676
00:43:38,041 --> 00:43:40,375
fumbled, came up
with the ball... ah!

677
00:43:40,458 --> 00:43:44,250
Rob Seydoff, the biggest guy on the team
fell on my arm, broke it in three places.

678
00:43:44,333 --> 00:43:46,125
Mom never let me play again.
- Wow.

679
00:43:46,208 --> 00:43:49,125
And he kept that souvenir
all these years.

680
00:43:49,208 --> 00:43:53,667
He probably had some fond memories of
you... out there, playing your heart out.

681
00:43:53,750 --> 00:43:58,709
- Yeah, no, he... he missed it.
Last-minute meeting.

682
00:43:59,500 --> 00:44:01,083
- You know, a man's gotta work.

683
00:44:01,166 --> 00:44:02,250
- Last-minute meeting means
he'd get drunk at lunch.

684
00:44:05,291 --> 00:44:07,959
- Anything else you wanna take?
- No, I'm good.

685
00:44:13,792 --> 00:44:16,750
So what's the deal with all
the airplane stuff?

686
00:44:16,834 --> 00:44:19,709
- You didn't know? Your dad
always wanted to be a pilot.

687
00:44:19,792 --> 00:44:21,041
- Really?
- Yeah.

688
00:44:21,125 --> 00:44:22,917
He even took flying lessons
when he was y...

689
00:44:23,000 --> 00:44:25,083
Oh, my God!

690
00:44:26,291 --> 00:44:28,291
Yeah, I guess this was
the next best thing.

691
00:44:31,083 --> 00:44:32,834
You know, I should probably...

692
00:44:32,917 --> 00:44:35,917
I should probably keep these.

693
00:44:37,000 --> 00:44:38,917
You know, I just wouldn't want
the guys at Goodwill getting

694
00:44:39,000 --> 00:44:40,917
the wrong idea about
your old man.

695
00:44:42,000 --> 00:44:44,083
- Knock yourself out.

696
00:44:44,166 --> 00:44:45,542
- You hungry?

697
00:44:48,667 --> 00:44:50,750
- It'll be fine.
- Oh, I don't know.

698
00:44:50,834 --> 00:44:53,667
I'm the executor, I'm supposed to
witness any ash-related activity.

699
00:44:53,750 --> 00:44:55,333
I'll be signing an affidavit.

700
00:44:55,417 --> 00:44:57,959
- Well, it's the only way
it was gonna happen.

701
00:44:58,041 --> 00:44:59,166
- Well, I guess.

702
00:44:59,250 --> 00:45:01,583
- Good food here?
- No, no, terrible.

703
00:45:01,667 --> 00:45:03,291
Your dad's favourite spot.

704
00:45:03,375 --> 00:45:04,417
Ah, looks like someone got their
suspension lifted.

705
00:45:04,500 --> 00:45:06,667
It's a grabby Irish fuck.

706
00:45:06,750 --> 00:45:09,625
Don't get the wrong idea
about your dad.

707
00:45:09,709 --> 00:45:12,959
He wasn't some pervert. Never liked
to sit right up in sniffer's row.

708
00:45:13,041 --> 00:45:16,333
He said:
"Too close ruins the mystery."

709
00:45:16,417 --> 00:45:19,000
- Try watching a kid come out of
there.

710
00:45:19,083 --> 00:45:20,917
- What kind of sick bastard
are you?

711
00:45:21,917 --> 00:45:23,291
- So, uh...

712
00:45:23,917 --> 00:45:26,709
was my dad seeing anyone?

713
00:45:27,333 --> 00:45:29,959
- Yeah, women get to a certain age,
they don't wanna bone anymore.

714
00:45:30,041 --> 00:45:33,917
And your dad was very private
about that kind of thing.

715
00:45:34,000 --> 00:45:34,875
And I prefer women of a certain
vintage,

716
00:45:34,959 --> 00:45:38,125
but given the choice
between nothing and

717
00:45:38,208 --> 00:45:39,959
a young pro with a
kung fu grip...

718
00:45:40,041 --> 00:45:41,417
this is not ideal.

719
00:45:41,500 --> 00:45:43,083
- So, the AA meeting broke
early.

720
00:45:43,166 --> 00:45:44,917
You got 20 minutes left
to the buffet. Get you a drink?

721
00:45:45,000 --> 00:45:47,208
- Oh, thanks, it's a little
early for me.

722
00:45:47,291 --> 00:45:48,834
There's a two-drink
minimum, honey.

723
00:45:48,917 --> 00:45:50,250
- Well, I guess, uh...

724
00:45:50,333 --> 00:45:51,875
- My God!

725
00:45:51,959 --> 00:45:55,166
You look exactly
like this guy I know.

726
00:45:55,250 --> 00:45:58,834
- Yeah, maybe because
it's Andy's kid.

727
00:45:58,917 --> 00:46:00,000
- No, shit.

728
00:46:01,083 --> 00:46:03,125
No fucking shit!

729
00:46:03,208 --> 00:46:05,750
Cindy! Get your tits over here!

730
00:46:05,834 --> 00:46:09,291
- Hey, Velvet, could you, uh... get
me a Bloody Mary and her sister?

731
00:46:09,375 --> 00:46:10,208
- Lunch of champions.

732
00:46:10,291 --> 00:46:12,667
And you?
- Does it have to be alcoholic?

733
00:46:13,417 --> 00:46:16,208
- What are you? A comedian?
- I'll just have a Coke.

734
00:46:16,291 --> 00:46:17,375
- Two Jack and Cokes.

735
00:46:18,583 --> 00:46:20,792
- Some horny boys over here
looking for a little lap love?

736
00:46:20,875 --> 00:46:22,834
- Who does he look like?

737
00:46:23,917 --> 00:46:25,709
Who does
he think he looks like?

738
00:46:28,375 --> 00:46:29,417
- Hello.

739
00:46:30,750 --> 00:46:32,250
- It's like a little Andy.

740
00:46:32,333 --> 00:46:35,208
I mean, not what Andy calls
his little Andy, but...

741
00:46:35,291 --> 00:46:37,750
Wow!

742
00:46:37,834 --> 00:46:40,041
- That's his kid.

743
00:46:40,125 --> 00:46:41,333
- Aw...

744
00:46:42,291 --> 00:46:44,250
Hey, I can do
a father-son discount.

745
00:46:44,333 --> 00:46:45,875
Where is the old rascal?

746
00:46:45,959 --> 00:46:48,458
- He's uh... he's gone, honey.

747
00:46:50,250 --> 00:46:51,083
He's dead.

748
00:46:51,458 --> 00:46:53,834
- What?

749
00:46:54,500 --> 00:46:57,208
- Well, that's poopy.

750
00:46:57,291 --> 00:46:58,917
Miss, the check, please!

751
00:47:01,333 --> 00:47:03,417
- I knew he was sick.

752
00:47:03,500 --> 00:47:05,875
I'm so sorry--
- For my loss, yes.

753
00:47:05,959 --> 00:47:07,125
Thank you very much.

754
00:47:08,166 --> 00:47:09,083
- How about a dance
on the house?

755
00:47:09,166 --> 00:47:12,542
I mean, you guys can still tip
if you want.

756
00:47:12,625 --> 00:47:14,375
- I'm okay.
- That'd be swell.

757
00:47:14,458 --> 00:47:17,959
- Oh, yay! I've been so horny
all morning.

758
00:47:19,000 --> 00:47:20,792
- Stroke of luck for me then.

759
00:47:22,417 --> 00:47:23,959
Your dad was so great.

760
00:47:24,041 --> 00:47:25,750
- Thank you, very sweet of you.

761
00:47:25,834 --> 00:47:27,417
- She's not just saying that.

762
00:47:27,500 --> 00:47:29,375
When Cindy needed braces, her...

763
00:47:29,458 --> 00:47:31,083
Maggie's son's lawyer -

764
00:47:31,166 --> 00:47:32,834
Friday Maggie,
not pierced Maggie -

765
00:47:32,917 --> 00:47:34,291
when he turned out to be a
total piece of shit,

766
00:47:34,375 --> 00:47:36,875
Andy was the first one
with his wallet out.

767
00:47:36,959 --> 00:47:40,166
- Did you know he invented cutting the pockets
out of the inside of your sweat pants?

768
00:47:40,250 --> 00:47:42,166
- I did not. But no doubt that
he said that.

769
00:47:42,250 --> 00:47:46,125
- Yeah. I mean, even toward
the end, when he couldn't...

770
00:47:47,250 --> 00:47:49,959
express his affection
the way most guys do,

771
00:47:50,041 --> 00:47:52,458
he would still come in here
just to talk.

772
00:47:52,542 --> 00:47:54,000
- Wait a minute.

773
00:47:54,083 --> 00:47:57,458
You knew he was sick
and you didn't tell me?!

774
00:47:58,625 --> 00:48:01,417
- Client-dancer confidentiality,
you taught me that.

775
00:48:01,500 --> 00:48:04,208
- Don't worry about it. I'm his
kid and he didn't even tell me.

776
00:48:04,291 --> 00:48:07,250
It's not like he's... a decent
human being in any way.

777
00:48:07,333 --> 00:48:08,500
- Hey!

778
00:48:08,583 --> 00:48:11,208
Shut your mouth.

779
00:48:11,291 --> 00:48:14,083
- It's okay. It's okay...

780
00:48:16,834 --> 00:48:18,208
- Hey, I'm sorry.

781
00:48:18,291 --> 00:48:21,959
I mean, he wasn't the greatest
guy all the time, but...

782
00:48:22,041 --> 00:48:24,125
you know,
we all have our faults.

783
00:48:25,083 --> 00:48:26,250
- Did you guys...?

784
00:48:26,792 --> 00:48:29,041
- A long time ago.

785
00:48:29,875 --> 00:48:31,750
- Guesstimate for me.

786
00:48:31,834 --> 00:48:34,125
- 20 years...

787
00:48:34,208 --> 00:48:36,458
The 90's are a little fuzzy
for me.

788
00:48:36,542 --> 00:48:39,166
- Before or after my parents
split up?

789
00:48:40,208 --> 00:48:41,542
- Hey, I'm sorry, kid.

790
00:48:41,625 --> 00:48:44,083
I didn't pull the ripcord
on your parents' marriage.

791
00:48:44,959 --> 00:48:47,333
I was just one of the many spots
he landed.

792
00:48:47,417 --> 00:48:51,166
Jesus! He was a charmer.

793
00:48:52,041 --> 00:48:55,125
You know, on our first date, he
bought this little stuffed bear.

794
00:48:55,959 --> 00:48:59,041
God, we got shit-faced and
ended up in a tattoo parlour!

795
00:48:59,125 --> 00:49:00,500
Oh, no, no, that's okay.
- That's it.

796
00:49:00,583 --> 00:49:02,166
- Yep, there it is.

797
00:49:03,083 --> 00:49:07,083
- I was a tight piece of ass
back then.

798
00:49:07,166 --> 00:49:08,875
- Oh, yeah, she was.

799
00:49:08,959 --> 00:49:10,750
I saw a VHS evidence tape of her once.

800
00:49:10,834 --> 00:49:13,000
- Your dad...

801
00:49:13,083 --> 00:49:16,125
He could treat a lady like
a f-ing lady!

802
00:49:20,500 --> 00:49:22,375
- Aw...

803
00:49:22,834 --> 00:49:24,291
Don't be blue.

804
00:49:26,041 --> 00:49:28,542
- I'm okay.
- He's fine, he's fine.

805
00:49:28,625 --> 00:49:31,291
- No, look at him.
He's all frowny.

806
00:49:32,333 --> 00:49:35,458
- Yeah, that's just the way
my face kind of sits.

807
00:49:37,417 --> 00:49:39,458
- Let's see what you inherited
from your old man.

808
00:49:39,542 --> 00:49:40,834
- Huh?

809
00:49:40,917 --> 00:49:42,917
It's okay, thank you.
I'm sorry.

810
00:49:44,333 --> 00:49:45,583
- I got it, I got it.

811
00:49:52,333 --> 00:49:54,208
Hey, you alright?

812
00:49:54,291 --> 00:49:55,542
You didn't go hair-trigger,
did you?

813
00:49:56,458 --> 00:49:58,625
- This is all some big fucking
joke to you, huh?

814
00:49:58,709 --> 00:50:01,041
Hey, I know what'd be funny,

815
00:50:01,125 --> 00:50:05,417
is if the stripper that used to jerk off
my buddy Andy, jerked off his son too!

816
00:50:05,500 --> 00:50:06,875
Oh, you know
what'd be even better?

817
00:50:06,959 --> 00:50:10,959
Is if that same stripper knew that
he was dying before even I did.

818
00:50:11,041 --> 00:50:13,208
- Technically, you never even
knew he was dying, so--

819
00:50:13,291 --> 00:50:13,750
- No, technically,
he's an asshole.

820
00:50:13,834 --> 00:50:16,208
- A complex asshole.

821
00:50:16,291 --> 00:50:18,291
- A complex asshole
who left my mom for a stripper.

822
00:50:18,375 --> 00:50:20,792
- And who cared about
the juvenile justice system.

823
00:50:20,875 --> 00:50:22,583
- For a stripper's kid.

824
00:50:22,667 --> 00:50:26,291
- You're obsessed with the erotic
arts, aren't you?

825
00:50:30,208 --> 00:50:31,417
- Hello?

826
00:50:31,500 --> 00:50:33,959
- Son of a bitch!
If you came in town

827
00:50:34,041 --> 00:50:35,542
and didn't tell me,
I'll fucking kill you.

828
00:50:35,625 --> 00:50:36,125
- Cam!

829
00:50:36,208 --> 00:50:40,333
What's up, man? Uh...

830
00:50:40,417 --> 00:50:43,834
Sorry I didn't call you.
I'm here for my dad's funeral.

831
00:50:43,917 --> 00:50:45,625
- Oh... sorry for your loss.

832
00:50:45,709 --> 00:50:48,208
Is that what people say?

833
00:50:48,291 --> 00:50:49,208
- That's about all they say.

834
00:50:49,291 --> 00:50:52,458
How did you...
how did you know I was here?

835
00:50:52,542 --> 00:50:54,500
- Your wife and my wife started
Facebooking after the wedding.

836
00:50:54,583 --> 00:50:58,000
And she just posted some diaper
pick, and blah, blah, blah...

837
00:50:58,083 --> 00:50:59,625
Who gives a shit? Come over
tonight, meet the child.

838
00:50:59,709 --> 00:51:03,041
See how your life will be
boned for the next 18 years.

839
00:51:03,125 --> 00:51:06,875
- Well, as tempting as that sounds, I think I'm
gonna have to catch the red-eye back, so...

840
00:51:06,959 --> 00:51:09,125
- Fuck you, motherfucker.

841
00:51:09,208 --> 00:51:11,041
Come over, I'm texting you
the address, 7 o'clock.

842
00:51:11,125 --> 00:51:13,834
Bring anything and die.
- Alright.

843
00:51:13,917 --> 00:51:15,375
- Also, I'm sorry I said "die".

844
00:51:15,458 --> 00:51:17,417
Later, asshole.

845
00:51:19,792 --> 00:51:22,291
- An old friend.

846
00:51:23,041 --> 00:51:24,250
So...

847
00:51:24,333 --> 00:51:26,291
I guess that's it.

848
00:51:27,333 --> 00:51:29,542
I'll just send you the picture
when I get it.

849
00:51:31,083 --> 00:51:32,333
- I guess so.

850
00:51:35,041 --> 00:51:35,792
- Just contact me...

851
00:51:35,875 --> 00:51:39,542
when the estate settles.

852
00:51:43,291 --> 00:51:45,125
Nice meeting you.

853
00:51:45,208 --> 00:51:46,709
- You too.

854
00:51:49,667 --> 00:51:50,375
- You're going back in?

855
00:51:52,208 --> 00:51:55,542
- We all grieve in our own way,
Ken.

856
00:51:57,542 --> 00:51:59,375
We all grieve in our own way.

857
00:52:08,750 --> 00:52:10,041
- 'Cause you'll be the person
that'll be handling this.

858
00:52:10,125 --> 00:52:12,250
I mean, I can't, you know, leave
it up to my--

859
00:52:12,333 --> 00:52:14,542
And there he is!

860
00:52:14,625 --> 00:52:15,250
Lori, I'll be right back.

861
00:52:17,291 --> 00:52:18,417
It rang and I picked up.

862
00:52:20,417 --> 00:52:22,083
- Hello.

863
00:52:22,166 --> 00:52:24,291
- How did it go?
- Uh...

864
00:52:24,375 --> 00:52:28,166
Good, good. I got a guy
dumping him as we speak.

865
00:52:28,250 --> 00:52:31,417
You got a guy, huh?

866
00:52:31,500 --> 00:52:34,250
- Yeah, you know. I got... I
found an ash-dumping guy.

867
00:52:34,333 --> 00:52:35,458
- Impressive.

868
00:52:35,542 --> 00:52:39,125
Daddy's coming home! Yay!

869
00:52:39,208 --> 00:52:42,625
Oh, hi! There he is.

870
00:52:45,667 --> 00:52:47,333
Hi! There's my... child.

871
00:52:47,417 --> 00:52:50,709
So, what were you and my mom
talking about?

872
00:52:50,792 --> 00:52:55,166
- Your mom went to some holistic
funeral home

873
00:52:55,250 --> 00:52:57,583
and came back
with a bunch of pamphlets.

874
00:52:57,667 --> 00:52:59,250
I think she's really bored.

875
00:52:59,333 --> 00:53:01,166
- Well...
- So, Lori,

876
00:53:01,250 --> 00:53:03,083
the sandalwood one

877
00:53:03,166 --> 00:53:06,250
is 80% post-consumer fibre.

878
00:53:06,333 --> 00:53:08,583
- Mom, what are you doing?
You're in perfect health.

879
00:53:08,667 --> 00:53:11,083
- I know. But there's nothing
wrong with preparing

880
00:53:11,166 --> 00:53:14,375
for the inevitable transition
into the next realm of existence.

881
00:53:14,458 --> 00:53:17,792
So the super-eco option...
- I think she's talking about Florida.

882
00:53:17,875 --> 00:53:21,417
- ...which seems better than
the mushroom death suit.

883
00:53:21,500 --> 00:53:24,375
Let me show. I'll be right back.
- Nobody likes the mushroom death suit.

884
00:53:24,458 --> 00:53:26,417
20 minutes of that.

885
00:53:26,500 --> 00:53:29,041
Is she gonna be okay?
- Yeah, yeah.

886
00:53:29,125 --> 00:53:30,667
She'll be fine.

887
00:53:30,750 --> 00:53:33,667
I'll just remove all the sharp
objects before I come home.

888
00:53:33,750 --> 00:53:36,458
- What time does your flight land?
- Uh...

889
00:53:36,542 --> 00:53:40,208
Actually, I'm gonna hop on the
first flight tomorrow morning.

890
00:53:40,291 --> 00:53:43,667
- Tomorrow?
What happened to tonight?

891
00:53:43,750 --> 00:53:44,875
- Well, Cam called.

892
00:53:44,959 --> 00:53:47,083
So I thought I'd, you know,
since I'm here already,

893
00:53:47,166 --> 00:53:48,625
I'd swing by,

894
00:53:48,709 --> 00:53:50,583
maybe get some new dad tips.

895
00:53:50,667 --> 00:53:55,458
- Here's a dad tip, come hang
out with your actual family.

896
00:53:55,542 --> 00:53:59,417
- Okay. Just, can we not...
it's just been a long,

897
00:53:59,500 --> 00:54:00,792
weird, stressful day.

898
00:54:00,875 --> 00:54:03,583
- Oh, it's been stressful
for you?

899
00:54:03,667 --> 00:54:06,291
I'm so sorry to hear that.
No stress over here by the way.

900
00:54:06,375 --> 00:54:08,750
This kid kind of raises himself.

901
00:54:08,834 --> 00:54:10,500
I just leave out some Kibble

902
00:54:10,583 --> 00:54:12,333
and figured I'd check back in
before college.

903
00:54:12,417 --> 00:54:15,125
- So now, we're using the kid
as a weapon?

904
00:54:15,208 --> 00:54:18,333
- No, not until his skull
firms up.

905
00:54:18,834 --> 00:54:21,250
I know you're dealing
with a lot of stuff, Ken,

906
00:54:21,333 --> 00:54:22,750
but I could really use a hand,

907
00:54:22,834 --> 00:54:24,792
and you're off tearing it up
with your homies.

908
00:54:24,875 --> 00:54:27,250
- I'm not tearing it up
with anybody!

909
00:54:27,333 --> 00:54:29,458
I have no homies to tear it up with. I
don't know what you're taking about.

910
00:54:29,542 --> 00:54:30,458
Okay? You said it was fine.
So I came.

911
00:54:30,542 --> 00:54:33,417
It's okay. It's alright.

912
00:54:33,500 --> 00:54:35,333
- It's just an extra 12 hours.
You'll be fine. Call Trent

913
00:54:35,417 --> 00:54:37,375
and have him come over
and take his shirt off.

914
00:54:37,458 --> 00:54:40,709
- Yeah. You caught us.
That's why I'm so exhausted.

915
00:54:40,792 --> 00:54:42,000
Just been gay-fucking

916
00:54:42,083 --> 00:54:43,875
his gay brains out all over
our gay fucking apartment.

917
00:54:43,959 --> 00:54:46,542
It's just a peg-a-palooza out here.
- Okay, okay, alright.

918
00:54:46,625 --> 00:54:49,333
- Thank God I rush-ordered
that big, fat strap-on!

919
00:54:49,417 --> 00:54:51,875
- Please,
would you lower your voice!

920
00:54:53,625 --> 00:54:56,542
- Well, you know, at least
someone's getting some action.

921
00:54:56,625 --> 00:54:58,667
- It took 16 hours to push

922
00:54:58,750 --> 00:55:01,333
our little bowling ball of love
out of my fucking vagina.

923
00:55:01,417 --> 00:55:04,542
And you wonder
why I'm not in the mood?

924
00:55:04,625 --> 00:55:06,709
- Okay. I regretted that

925
00:55:06,792 --> 00:55:09,500
the moment that I said it, but,
you know, it has been six months.

926
00:55:09,583 --> 00:55:11,250
- You didn't want to fuck
a pregnant lady!

927
00:55:11,333 --> 00:55:13,667
Oh, see? Now, he's crying.

928
00:55:13,750 --> 00:55:15,959
It's okay.
- Shh, shh... It's okay.

929
00:55:16,041 --> 00:55:19,250
- It's okay. Sorry.

930
00:55:19,333 --> 00:55:21,583
Do you have to feed him?

931
00:55:21,667 --> 00:55:23,417
- Yeah. But you know what?

932
00:55:23,500 --> 00:55:26,750
Good news, left tit
stopped bleeding today. So...

933
00:55:26,834 --> 00:55:28,208
- Lori, hold...

934
00:55:28,542 --> 00:55:31,125
- So, this one seems
really interesting.

935
00:55:31,208 --> 00:55:32,500
This is the funeral pyre.

936
00:55:32,583 --> 00:55:35,291
The only problem is
it is weather dependent.

937
00:55:35,375 --> 00:55:38,834
- She's gone, mom.
She's not there anymore.

938
00:55:41,333 --> 00:55:43,291
- Sorry for the mess.

939
00:55:43,375 --> 00:55:46,834
- No. It's like
seeing into my future.

940
00:55:46,917 --> 00:55:50,583
- Yeah, well, hopefully, yours isn't
a bile-spewing monster like ours is.

941
00:55:50,667 --> 00:55:51,917
- Yeah.

942
00:55:52,000 --> 00:55:54,250
- Hey, to your dad.
- Yeah.

943
00:55:54,333 --> 00:55:55,959
My dad...

944
00:55:56,458 --> 00:55:58,458
You know, he...

945
00:55:58,542 --> 00:56:01,250
He used to take flying lessons.

946
00:56:01,333 --> 00:56:03,000
- How the fuck
would I know that?

947
00:56:03,083 --> 00:56:07,709
- I don't know.
I just found out that... uh...

948
00:56:07,792 --> 00:56:11,166
he wanted to be a pilot
when he was younger.

949
00:56:11,250 --> 00:56:13,417
- Huh... Why'd he stop?

950
00:56:13,917 --> 00:56:16,417
- Not a hot clue.

951
00:56:16,917 --> 00:56:20,500
- You know, when my grandfather died,
my grandma found all these like,

952
00:56:20,583 --> 00:56:21,250
men's "bodybuilding" magazines.

953
00:56:21,333 --> 00:56:23,709
- Are you serious?
- Yeah.

954
00:56:23,792 --> 00:56:26,458
I'm only here because of
intolerance in the '50s.

955
00:56:26,542 --> 00:56:29,041
- Interesting.
- You never really know anyone.

956
00:56:31,583 --> 00:56:33,583
Did you ever open that bar?

957
00:56:33,667 --> 00:56:33,959
- Gastropub.

958
00:56:34,041 --> 00:56:35,458
Brew pub.

959
00:56:35,542 --> 00:56:39,959
I'm still kind of trying
to decide between...

960
00:56:40,792 --> 00:56:42,041
Although they're both so trendy
now. I probably missed the bus.

961
00:56:42,125 --> 00:56:44,208
- Parenthood...

962
00:56:44,291 --> 00:56:45,083
where your plans go to die.

963
00:56:45,166 --> 00:56:48,375
- A hospice for your dreams.

964
00:56:48,458 --> 00:56:50,542
- Palliative care
for your balls.

965
00:56:50,625 --> 00:56:52,667
At least then,
you have an excuse, right?

966
00:56:53,417 --> 00:56:55,417
Oh, it's my neighbour.

967
00:56:55,500 --> 00:56:58,250
Tracey! Come meet one of the
assholes I went to college with!

968
00:56:58,333 --> 00:57:00,792
- You make it sound so tempting.

969
00:57:00,875 --> 00:57:03,709
- This is Ken. Ken, Tracey.
Tracey, Ken.

970
00:57:03,792 --> 00:57:05,792
- Nice to meet you.

971
00:57:05,875 --> 00:57:07,375
- College, huh?

972
00:57:07,458 --> 00:57:09,375
Same sorority?

973
00:57:09,458 --> 00:57:11,709
Oh, enjoy your humour.

974
00:57:11,792 --> 00:57:14,667
Why don't you ask your pimp
if you can come over for a beer?

975
00:57:15,959 --> 00:57:17,667
Rude.

976
00:57:17,750 --> 00:57:21,000
She's not really a hooker, but
she did just get divorced.

977
00:57:21,083 --> 00:57:22,667
- That's too bad.
- Too bad for him.

978
00:57:22,750 --> 00:57:27,500
I heard them a few times.
She's... enthusiastic.

979
00:57:27,583 --> 00:57:31,750
- That's kind of... cliché,
isn't it, the horny divorcee?

980
00:57:31,834 --> 00:57:35,000
- Buddy, all clichés are true.
That's just science.

981
00:57:35,083 --> 00:57:36,750
Anne doesn't really trust her.

982
00:57:36,834 --> 00:57:39,041
It kind of
makes it hotter for me.

983
00:57:40,959 --> 00:57:42,125
- Hmm.
- What? Good news?

984
00:57:42,208 --> 00:57:44,375
- Uh... Yeah.

985
00:57:44,458 --> 00:57:47,709
It's about my dad's... affairs.

986
00:57:47,792 --> 00:57:50,208
Cam, can you help? Sorry, Ken.

987
00:57:50,291 --> 00:57:51,500
- Oh, did he--
- Yeah, yeah.

988
00:57:51,583 --> 00:57:52,500
And then, he--

989
00:57:52,583 --> 00:57:55,500
- Alright, get the thing
and I'll...

990
00:57:56,583 --> 00:57:59,542
Hey. Untouched
by the lips of man.

991
00:57:59,625 --> 00:58:01,542
- Know that feeling.

992
00:58:05,500 --> 00:58:06,834
- Here, you
need help there, buddy?

993
00:58:06,917 --> 00:58:09,917
- Yeah, I need help getting
in my own house. Fuck off.

994
00:58:10,000 --> 00:58:11,917
- Geez.

995
00:58:12,917 --> 00:58:15,291
- Oh, children.
- Yeah.

996
00:58:16,917 --> 00:58:19,333
- You got any?
- Uh, one, yeah.

997
00:58:19,417 --> 00:58:21,250
You wanna see a picture?

998
00:58:21,333 --> 00:58:22,834
- I'm good.

999
00:58:27,458 --> 00:58:28,917
Do you mind?

1000
00:58:29,000 --> 00:58:31,875
- No, please.
It's your... neighbour's house.

1001
00:58:33,417 --> 00:58:36,333
- They occasionally partake.

1002
00:58:37,625 --> 00:58:40,709
- Oh, no. Thanks.
I'm married... uh, driving.

1003
00:58:42,375 --> 00:58:43,875
- And a little Freudian.

1004
00:58:45,208 --> 00:58:47,583
- Yeah.

1005
00:58:47,667 --> 00:58:51,917
- I figure weed has prevented more new parents
from killing their spawn than any other drug.

1006
00:58:52,000 --> 00:58:53,500
- That sounds about right.

1007
00:58:53,583 --> 00:58:56,709
I bet you acid's probably
a parenting non-starter.

1008
00:58:56,792 --> 00:59:00,500
Oh, my kid has fangs! Kill it!

1009
00:59:00,583 --> 00:59:02,458
Kill it!

1010
00:59:02,542 --> 00:59:04,917
- You've never done acid,
have you?

1011
00:59:05,000 --> 00:59:06,083
- I have not.

1012
00:59:06,166 --> 00:59:08,917
Although I did buy fake ecstasy
at a rave once.

1013
00:59:09,000 --> 00:59:10,750
Cleared my sinuses right up.

1014
00:59:17,333 --> 00:59:19,583
♪ I'm just passing through
I've been doing the do ♪

1015
00:59:19,667 --> 00:59:22,709
♪ But I really like
some company ♪

1016
00:59:23,000 --> 00:59:24,625
♪ So I step to the corner ♪

1017
00:59:24,709 --> 00:59:26,458
♪ Where the party's
made to order ♪

1018
00:59:26,542 --> 00:59:30,333
♪ Going down
right in front of me ♪

1019
00:59:30,417 --> 00:59:32,458
♪ A little smoking
A little drinking ♪

1020
00:59:32,542 --> 00:59:35,667
♪ More dazin'
less digging... ♪

1021
00:59:49,000 --> 00:59:52,583
- ...moment for posterity.
Two college boyfriends.

1022
00:59:52,667 --> 00:59:55,458
Yeah!
- Yeah, like old times.

1023
00:59:55,542 --> 00:59:57,917
- No, don't.

1024
00:59:58,000 --> 00:59:58,750
- Photo-bomb, motherfuckers!

1025
00:59:58,834 --> 01:00:00,875
- What? You're ruining our
picture!

1026
01:00:00,959 --> 01:00:02,166
- Yeah, she did actually ruin it.

1027
01:00:02,250 --> 01:00:05,542
- Did you get it? Hold on, hold
on. Are you okay to drive?

1028
01:00:05,625 --> 01:00:08,208
- Yes, I'm okay. I'm brilliant.
Brilliant!

1029
01:00:08,291 --> 01:00:09,166
- Brilliant!

1030
01:00:09,250 --> 01:00:11,166
- But text us when you get
home. Alright?

1031
01:00:11,250 --> 01:00:12,792
- Yes, mom.

1032
01:00:12,875 --> 01:00:14,959
- And a big kiss to your wife,

1033
01:00:15,041 --> 01:00:17,834
because she is so awesome.
- Aw!

1034
01:00:17,917 --> 01:00:19,667
- Yes, she is.

1035
01:00:19,750 --> 01:00:21,709
- Now, get off my lawn,
crazy kids.

1036
01:00:21,792 --> 01:00:25,000
- Thank you. Thank you.
- Yes, get out.

1037
01:00:25,083 --> 01:00:27,417
- Man, I needed this.

1038
01:00:28,500 --> 01:00:30,500
- One for the ride.

1039
01:00:30,583 --> 01:00:31,583
- Oh...

1040
01:00:31,667 --> 01:00:34,917
yeah, I don't know.
- What?

1041
01:00:35,000 --> 01:00:38,875
You think I'm trying to pass
you out and date-rape you?

1042
01:00:38,959 --> 01:00:41,834
- Everybody knows that rape is
about power and not about sex.

1043
01:00:41,917 --> 01:00:44,875
- Oh, God!
- Wait, wait, wait.

1044
01:00:44,959 --> 01:00:48,041
Okay, one more would be
perfection.

1045
01:00:48,125 --> 01:00:49,166
- Only one more.

1046
01:00:49,250 --> 01:00:52,458
Because I wouldn't want
the neighbours to talk...

1047
01:00:54,417 --> 01:00:58,583
- Okay, I just should move
my car so they don't worry.

1048
01:00:58,667 --> 01:01:01,834
- Oh, look at you,
always thinking of others.

1049
01:01:05,542 --> 01:01:07,834
Oh...

1050
01:01:10,750 --> 01:01:11,250
Argh...
- What?

1051
01:01:11,333 --> 01:01:13,542
- My boss,

1052
01:01:13,625 --> 01:01:16,667
passive-aggressive ninja.

1053
01:01:16,750 --> 01:01:19,542
- What exactly is it that you do
again?

1054
01:01:19,625 --> 01:01:21,458
- Uh... business-to-business
marketing

1055
01:01:21,542 --> 01:01:24,542
for a small brewery special...

1056
01:01:24,625 --> 01:01:26,709
Yeah.

1057
01:01:26,792 --> 01:01:29,709
But don't you worry, lady.
I got other plans.

1058
01:01:30,542 --> 01:01:33,917
- Why don't you just quit? Now?

1059
01:01:34,000 --> 01:01:36,875
What?

1060
01:01:38,542 --> 01:01:41,083
- Use your largesse to strike
out on your own in the world.

1061
01:01:42,667 --> 01:01:43,917
- Yeah, I'm working on it.

1062
01:01:47,041 --> 01:01:48,875
- Wait, what's the word?

1063
01:01:50,792 --> 01:01:51,917
Meow!

1064
01:01:55,583 --> 01:01:57,500
- It's not that easy.

1065
01:01:57,583 --> 01:02:00,375
- I double dog dare you.

1066
01:02:00,458 --> 01:02:02,583
- Are you kidding?

1067
01:02:03,750 --> 01:02:07,000
There's like, stuff that I've--

1068
01:02:07,083 --> 01:02:09,959
- I triple triple... triple
dog dare you.

1069
01:02:12,458 --> 01:02:15,625
- Well, now it's fucking on.
That last dog just, you know...

1070
01:02:15,709 --> 01:02:17,000
- Just put you over the edge.

1071
01:02:20,583 --> 01:02:22,625
- Hi, we're not here right now--

1072
01:02:22,709 --> 01:02:24,750
- Oh, went straight
to voice mail.

1073
01:02:24,834 --> 01:02:27,875
- Scorch the earth,
motherfucker.

1074
01:02:31,542 --> 01:02:35,166
- Hey, it's Ken.

1075
01:02:35,250 --> 01:02:36,959
Wall, uh...

1076
01:02:39,000 --> 01:02:41,000
About that PowerPoint,
I'm not gonna...

1077
01:02:41,083 --> 01:02:43,959
I'm not gonna get to do it
because...

1078
01:02:45,625 --> 01:02:47,834
I quit.

1079
01:02:47,917 --> 01:02:49,000
Yeah.

1080
01:02:51,333 --> 01:02:53,041
Uh... I quit. So, uh...

1081
01:02:55,583 --> 01:02:57,250
And someone should probably
tell you this, but...

1082
01:02:57,333 --> 01:03:01,875
The way you micromanage the entire
business makes everyone hate you

1083
01:03:01,959 --> 01:03:04,000
and wastes the company
a ton of money.

1084
01:03:04,083 --> 01:03:07,166
And also, stop with the fucking
hugging! Uh... oh, yeah.

1085
01:03:07,250 --> 01:03:09,792
And also, an aneurysm is not
a disease,

1086
01:03:09,875 --> 01:03:12,792
so you can't have
a fun run for it.

1087
01:03:12,875 --> 01:03:14,041
So, alright, uh...

1088
01:03:15,583 --> 01:03:17,917
- Yes!
- Oh!

1089
01:03:18,000 --> 01:03:19,917
- How does it feel?
- Fuck!

1090
01:03:20,000 --> 01:03:22,041
Like I'm gonna throw up?

1091
01:03:22,125 --> 01:03:23,291
Do you have any water?

1092
01:03:23,375 --> 01:03:26,000
- Yeah.

1093
01:03:40,125 --> 01:03:43,709
So how is the wifey
gonna feel about this?

1094
01:03:43,792 --> 01:03:46,083
- She can't get any madder
than she already is, so...

1095
01:03:46,166 --> 01:03:47,792
Yeah.

1096
01:03:47,875 --> 01:03:50,625
Before I left, she asked me
if I was dead inside.

1097
01:03:54,542 --> 01:03:55,041
- Are you?

1098
01:03:57,500 --> 01:04:00,667
- Uh... I mean...

1099
01:04:01,333 --> 01:04:03,583
There's all these feelings

1100
01:04:03,667 --> 01:04:07,083
that I am supposed to have
as a new dad.

1101
01:04:09,500 --> 01:04:12,875
And I want to feel them.

1102
01:04:22,208 --> 01:04:27,875
My wife is actually
a really amazing woman.

1103
01:04:32,333 --> 01:04:34,291
- Yet you're sitting here drinking
with a strange woman late at night.

1104
01:04:34,375 --> 01:04:36,208
- Yeah.

1105
01:04:39,625 --> 01:04:42,792
- You know, Ken, marriage isn't
a "one size fits all" situation.

1106
01:04:42,875 --> 01:04:44,959
- Does that mean
I should be a Mormon?

1107
01:04:46,750 --> 01:04:48,917
- Maybe what you need is
a one-off.

1108
01:04:55,875 --> 01:04:59,083
And just so you know,
she never has to.

1109
01:05:25,291 --> 01:05:26,375
- Hey!

1110
01:05:26,458 --> 01:05:28,667
- Hey, Jeff.
What are you doing here?

1111
01:05:28,750 --> 01:05:29,959
- You know, I called you,
like, 50 times.

1112
01:05:30,041 --> 01:05:33,041
I figured some hood rat
must've popped you.

1113
01:05:33,125 --> 01:05:35,333
I mean, the crime rate
these days is--

1114
01:05:35,417 --> 01:05:37,208
- Actually way down. So--

1115
01:05:37,291 --> 01:05:39,750
- So he called my number.
Sounds like karma.

1116
01:05:39,834 --> 01:05:43,000
- Or directory assistance.

1117
01:05:43,083 --> 01:05:45,166
- Do you realize I haven't seen
Jeff in 20 years?

1118
01:05:45,250 --> 01:05:49,250
- Really? So back
to my original question.

1119
01:05:49,333 --> 01:05:51,959
- Little wrinkle
with your escape plan, Jacko.

1120
01:05:53,000 --> 01:05:55,333
Your janitor friend... is lying.

1121
01:05:55,417 --> 01:05:57,166
- So exciting.

1122
01:05:57,250 --> 01:05:59,709
It's just like an episode
of Law and Order.

1123
01:05:59,792 --> 01:06:03,083
The original one. I don't care
for the sexual assaults.

1124
01:06:03,166 --> 01:06:06,250
Anybody wants some wine?
- Does a rabbi work for tips?

1125
01:06:06,333 --> 01:06:08,709
Take a look at the grass.
You see what I mean?

1126
01:06:08,792 --> 01:06:10,792
- Yeah. Now that it's bigger.

1127
01:06:10,875 --> 01:06:13,208
- And the ashes.
- Wrong colour.

1128
01:06:13,291 --> 01:06:16,083
Andy was more light gray.
- Your mom has a keen eye.

1129
01:06:16,166 --> 01:06:18,250
- Why would he do that?
- Well, that is the question.

1130
01:06:18,333 --> 01:06:21,208
What was the particular make
of your janitor?

1131
01:06:21,291 --> 01:06:22,250
Make?

1132
01:06:22,333 --> 01:06:23,959
- Oh, come on, Mr. PC.

1133
01:06:24,041 --> 01:06:25,166
Was he a recent arrival
to our fair country?

1134
01:06:25,250 --> 01:06:28,625
Did he have a preponderance
of consonants in his name?

1135
01:06:28,709 --> 01:06:31,917
Was he wearing a head covering that was
religious and not decorative in nature?

1136
01:06:32,000 --> 01:06:33,166
- Jeff, you're so verbal!

1137
01:06:33,250 --> 01:06:36,834
- Yeah, a verbal racist.
Oh, what are we gonna do?

1138
01:06:36,917 --> 01:06:39,709
- Well, I'll tell you what...

1139
01:06:39,792 --> 01:06:42,041
you call him and you tell him...

1140
01:06:42,834 --> 01:06:44,709
I don't know what you tell him.

1141
01:06:44,792 --> 01:06:46,166
You tell him you need the box
back for insurance purposes.

1142
01:06:46,250 --> 01:06:49,750
Then, we get his locale,
we go pay him a visit.

1143
01:06:49,834 --> 01:06:51,250
- Excellent idea.
- Thank you, lady Eve.

1144
01:06:53,709 --> 01:06:56,041
- Okay, okay.

1145
01:06:56,125 --> 01:06:59,875
I can't think about this right
now. I gotta go to sleep.

1146
01:07:00,333 --> 01:07:03,250
Thanks for the info.
We'll figure it out tomorrow.

1147
01:07:03,333 --> 01:07:05,208
I'm gonna crash.

1148
01:07:07,083 --> 01:07:09,166
- Good night.
- Yeah.

1149
01:07:09,500 --> 01:07:11,417
- Okay, well, I guess...

1150
01:07:11,500 --> 01:07:13,250
I guess I should mosey.

1151
01:07:15,500 --> 01:07:17,375
- Yeah, it's late.

1152
01:07:22,041 --> 01:07:26,083
So how's your night vision?
- I get by.

1153
01:07:26,750 --> 01:07:28,458
- I bet you do.

1154
01:07:29,083 --> 01:07:30,792
- You know, I remember
when we first met,

1155
01:07:30,875 --> 01:07:33,875
it was... a wedding at the club.

1156
01:07:33,959 --> 01:07:36,458
And Andy pointed you out to me
and I thought: Oh, my God.

1157
01:07:37,291 --> 01:07:39,000
That was my best friend's ex-wife.
- Stop.

1158
01:07:39,083 --> 01:07:41,250
- You were wearing
that little blue dress

1159
01:07:41,333 --> 01:07:43,583
with a button at the top
that just wouldn't stay

1160
01:07:43,667 --> 01:07:45,250
buttoned.

1161
01:07:47,583 --> 01:07:50,208
Oh!

1162
01:07:57,875 --> 01:08:00,667
- Hey.
- Good morning, sleepyhead.

1163
01:08:00,750 --> 01:08:03,125
- How you doing?

1164
01:08:03,208 --> 01:08:04,834
- Amazing.

1165
01:08:04,917 --> 01:08:06,792
Your son actually slept
through the night.

1166
01:08:06,875 --> 01:08:08,375
- Oh, good.

1167
01:08:08,458 --> 01:08:10,959
- Unlike someone
who looks a bit rough.

1168
01:08:11,041 --> 01:08:14,500
- Yeah, I didn't get the...

1169
01:08:14,583 --> 01:08:16,333
best sleep, so...

1170
01:08:16,417 --> 01:08:19,500
- Yeah, did your new friend
Tracey keep you up?

1171
01:08:23,834 --> 01:08:25,333
- What?

1172
01:08:25,417 --> 01:08:29,458
- Tall, brunette, looks like
a Romanian sex worker.

1173
01:08:29,542 --> 01:08:31,375
- Tracey... Oh, Cam's neighbour.

1174
01:08:31,458 --> 01:08:35,417
Uh, yeah, she stopped by.
How did you...

1175
01:08:35,500 --> 01:08:36,875
- Anne posted a photo
on Facebook.

1176
01:08:36,959 --> 01:08:39,375
You look nice and toasty.

1177
01:08:39,458 --> 01:08:42,166
- Oh, no, she was...
yeah, she was fun.

1178
01:08:42,250 --> 01:08:46,125
It was, I mean, it was
good to see Cam and...

1179
01:08:46,208 --> 01:08:47,083
- It looked like fun

1180
01:08:47,166 --> 01:08:51,500
and I'm glad you got to...
go out.

1181
01:08:54,125 --> 01:08:56,875
Sorry I haven't been
really fun lately.

1182
01:08:56,959 --> 01:09:00,125
- No, no. I'm the one
in my own universe.

1183
01:09:00,208 --> 01:09:03,041
I was such an asshole.
I'm sorry.

1184
01:09:03,125 --> 01:09:06,000
- No. I was a total bitch.
- No, I was the bitch.

1185
01:09:06,083 --> 01:09:10,875
I'm a super bitch.

1186
01:09:12,458 --> 01:09:15,250
- Speaking of bitches,
your boss called last night

1187
01:09:15,333 --> 01:09:18,792
and left a weird message
on our machine.

1188
01:09:18,875 --> 01:09:20,125
- Fuck.

1189
01:09:20,625 --> 01:09:22,250
I mean... okay.

1190
01:09:22,333 --> 01:09:25,083
- Hey, so when's your flight?
- Uh...

1191
01:09:25,166 --> 01:09:28,291
Hold on one second.

1192
01:09:28,625 --> 01:09:30,166
Where are you?

1193
01:09:31,542 --> 01:09:33,834
Oh, sweetie,
I gotta get this real quick.

1194
01:09:33,917 --> 01:09:36,750
- Sure, sure. If it's my new sister
wife, tell her I said, "Whaddup!"

1195
01:09:36,834 --> 01:09:37,583
- Ha-ha-ha. Not funny.

1196
01:09:37,667 --> 01:09:40,083
I love you.

1197
01:09:40,166 --> 01:09:41,959
- Alright, "shame spiral".
Get some coffee.

1198
01:09:42,041 --> 01:09:42,417
- Okay, bye.

1199
01:09:44,291 --> 01:09:45,834
Hey, this is Ken.

1200
01:09:45,917 --> 01:09:47,959
Yeah.

1201
01:09:48,041 --> 01:09:50,208
Yes, the one with the ashes.

1202
01:09:51,417 --> 01:09:54,000
Do you have other people
that have ashes?

1203
01:10:19,959 --> 01:10:21,208
Jeff?

1204
01:10:24,208 --> 01:10:26,000
- Hey.

1205
01:10:26,083 --> 01:10:27,959
- What...
Didn't you get my text?

1206
01:10:28,041 --> 01:10:29,041
We're supposed to meet there.

1207
01:10:29,125 --> 01:10:32,250
- Yeah, uh, sorry. Just, uh...

1208
01:10:32,333 --> 01:10:35,333
It's kind of a senior moment.
And...

1209
01:10:35,417 --> 01:10:36,458
And I came here.

1210
01:10:43,333 --> 01:10:45,291
Want to car pool?

1211
01:10:45,375 --> 01:10:47,208
- Uh, uh... sure.

1212
01:10:47,291 --> 01:10:50,291
- Yeah, great.
Let's go together.

1213
01:10:50,375 --> 01:10:52,667
- Weren't you... Were you
wearing that yesterday?

1214
01:10:52,750 --> 01:10:55,291
- No.

1215
01:10:56,583 --> 01:10:59,041
So you just quit over the phone.

1216
01:10:59,125 --> 01:11:01,667
- Yeah, I'm so screwed.

1217
01:11:01,750 --> 01:11:02,959
Lori's gonna kill me.

1218
01:11:03,041 --> 01:11:06,291
To my defense, there was a lot
of weed and alcohol involved.

1219
01:11:07,250 --> 01:11:08,667
- Well, if weed and alcohol
were a defense,

1220
01:11:08,750 --> 01:11:11,000
I'd be the CEO of Halliburton
right now.

1221
01:11:11,083 --> 01:11:14,125
Don't sweat it, kid. If Andy's ashes
are in there, we'll make it right.

1222
01:11:15,208 --> 01:11:16,625
- Oh.

1223
01:11:18,667 --> 01:11:21,083
Hey.

1224
01:11:21,166 --> 01:11:22,375
Who's the nut?

1225
01:11:23,166 --> 01:11:26,667
- Uh, this is my friend, Jeff.

1226
01:11:29,166 --> 01:11:31,667
- Hi.
- Nice to meet you.

1227
01:11:31,750 --> 01:11:33,458
- Nice to meet you.

1228
01:11:35,125 --> 01:11:37,875
20 bucks for my time, eh?
- Yeah.

1229
01:11:37,959 --> 01:11:41,291
- Okay, come on in!

1230
01:11:46,291 --> 01:11:48,125
- Wow. Nice.

1231
01:11:53,792 --> 01:11:57,041
:
Yeah, so about that photo you sent...

1232
01:11:57,125 --> 01:11:59,709
Yeah,
it's tough to do a selfie

1233
01:11:59,792 --> 01:12:01,750
with a dead body, or a bag,
I guess.

1234
01:12:01,834 --> 01:12:03,458
- Yeah.

1235
01:12:03,542 --> 01:12:06,667
Yeah, I don't think
you'd actually know.

1236
01:12:11,417 --> 01:12:13,333
- I don't follow.

1237
01:12:13,417 --> 01:12:15,208
- You see, the...

1238
01:12:15,291 --> 01:12:18,583
the field in that photo

1239
01:12:18,667 --> 01:12:21,291
was the wrong colour.

1240
01:12:21,375 --> 01:12:23,375
Astroturf has...

1241
01:12:24,250 --> 01:12:26,333
has a certain
blue-ish hue to it.

1242
01:12:26,417 --> 01:12:30,041
And...

1243
01:12:31,041 --> 01:12:33,166
unlike the...

1244
01:12:33,250 --> 01:12:35,417
yard of a dog owner,

1245
01:12:35,500 --> 01:12:38,208
there's not any brown spots
where the dog...

1246
01:12:38,291 --> 01:12:39,625
- Shits.

1247
01:12:39,709 --> 01:12:42,458
And the consistency
of the alleged ashes

1248
01:12:42,542 --> 01:12:45,583
reminds one of say,
litter of the kitty.

1249
01:12:48,250 --> 01:12:50,083
- Man, I'm sorry.

1250
01:12:50,166 --> 01:12:52,291
I was gonna do it, but they got
cameras all over the stadium.

1251
01:12:52,375 --> 01:12:55,667
- Just tell me you still have
the ashes.

1252
01:12:55,750 --> 01:12:58,417
- I actually was gonna just
put them in the yard,

1253
01:12:58,500 --> 01:13:00,458
but this is a human being
we're talking about,

1254
01:13:00,542 --> 01:13:02,625
a person who lived,
who loved--

1255
01:13:02,709 --> 01:13:05,625
- Yeah, who pooped and cried. Yeah,
we get it. Where's our pen salesman?

1256
01:13:05,709 --> 01:13:07,417
- My wife and I thought we
should put him in a cemetery.

1257
01:13:07,500 --> 01:13:09,375
There's a big tree
by where my Nana's buried.

1258
01:13:09,458 --> 01:13:12,291
We go up there
every other week.

1259
01:13:12,375 --> 01:13:15,333
- The remains, mop-jockey, Jesus H.
- Sorry, they gotta be here!

1260
01:13:17,667 --> 01:13:18,625
- Ask for your money back.

1261
01:13:20,709 --> 01:13:22,667
- Yeah, he meant well.

1262
01:13:22,750 --> 01:13:24,625
- Well, okay, but it kind of
sets a precedent.

1263
01:13:25,875 --> 01:13:28,542
- For what?

1264
01:13:28,625 --> 01:13:31,417
Unlawful dumping
of human remains?

1265
01:13:34,417 --> 01:13:37,625
- Hey, is your mom always so...

1266
01:13:37,709 --> 01:13:40,750
...obsessed with death?
No, that's a new thing.

1267
01:13:40,834 --> 01:13:42,250
- I was gonna say "forward".

1268
01:13:42,333 --> 01:13:45,000
- What are you talking about?

1269
01:13:45,083 --> 01:13:47,166
- Ah, forget it, then.

1270
01:13:47,250 --> 01:13:49,458
I just wonder if I need a trip
to the clinic.

1271
01:13:53,583 --> 01:13:54,625
- Did you...

1272
01:13:55,583 --> 01:13:56,834
Wait, after I...

1273
01:13:56,917 --> 01:13:58,000
Did you fuck my mom?

1274
01:13:58,083 --> 01:14:01,083
- Hey, I told you, man.
We all grieve in our own way.

1275
01:14:01,166 --> 01:14:04,333
- No, I bet very few of us grieve
by sleeping with my mother,

1276
01:14:04,417 --> 01:14:06,125
and then, worrying
that they have STDs.

1277
01:14:06,208 --> 01:14:07,583
- Ken, cool your jets! I'm not
gonna start calling you "son".

1278
01:14:07,667 --> 01:14:10,583
You don't have to buy me a card
on Father's Day.

1279
01:14:10,667 --> 01:14:12,875
We're not gonna go
have a catch.

1280
01:14:12,959 --> 01:14:15,291
But, by the way, there was very little
sleeping going on, if you follow.

1281
01:14:15,375 --> 01:14:17,625
- Got it!

1282
01:14:17,709 --> 01:14:22,500
I put the bag in an empty cereal box, but
that's where we normally keep the kitty litter.

1283
01:14:22,583 --> 01:14:26,417
So I'm thinking the wife. She's
at work right now, but she's--

1284
01:14:26,500 --> 01:14:27,542
- For the love of God, man.

1285
01:14:27,625 --> 01:14:30,667
- They're probably outside
in the trash bin.

1286
01:14:35,583 --> 01:14:37,750
- Hey, Batman and Robin.

1287
01:14:37,834 --> 01:14:40,125
You still owe me 20 bucks.

1288
01:14:40,208 --> 01:14:41,834
- Hey, hey, wait!

1289
01:14:43,667 --> 01:14:44,625
Hey, hey!

1290
01:14:47,959 --> 01:14:50,834
Hey! Hey!

1291
01:14:53,208 --> 01:14:55,709
Hey, hey!

1292
01:14:55,792 --> 01:14:57,417
Stop the truck!

1293
01:15:06,583 --> 01:15:08,917
- What the hell is going on?
- Sir!

1294
01:15:09,000 --> 01:15:11,750
We need to get into the back of your truck!
- For why?

1295
01:15:13,583 --> 01:15:16,625
- There's a baby in there.
- Oh, my God!

1296
01:15:16,709 --> 01:15:19,291
- It crawled into a trash bag
and fell asleep.

1297
01:15:19,375 --> 01:15:21,291
- Holy shit! Call 9-1-1.

1298
01:15:21,375 --> 01:15:23,458
Call 9-1-1. No baby.
There's no baby in there.

1299
01:15:23,542 --> 01:15:24,709
- Well, it's a puppy.
A dog baby.

1300
01:15:24,792 --> 01:15:27,875
- There's no puppy. It's not
a puppy baby.

1301
01:15:27,959 --> 01:15:31,500
So, this is what a concussion
feels like.

1302
01:15:31,583 --> 01:15:35,333
Sir, we just need to get into the back
of your truck to retrieve something.

1303
01:15:35,417 --> 01:15:37,583
- This is a storage unit?

1304
01:15:37,667 --> 01:15:40,208
For you to retrieve,
there are many regulations.

1305
01:15:40,291 --> 01:15:42,500
- Well, was it regulations you
ran down my friend here?

1306
01:15:42,583 --> 01:15:45,834
- What are you accusing me of?
- We're not accusing you of anything, sir.

1307
01:15:45,917 --> 01:15:47,792
- Ivan, can I call you Ivan?
- Ivan.

1308
01:15:47,875 --> 01:15:50,458
- My Slavic friend, you tell me
what I have to do

1309
01:15:50,542 --> 01:15:52,917
to put us
in the back of that truck today.

1310
01:15:53,667 --> 01:15:55,959
You guys see the stars?

1311
01:15:57,041 --> 01:16:00,875
- You like that? It won't take us long.
- No.

1312
01:16:02,417 --> 01:16:05,041
- Hi! My God, what happened?

1313
01:16:05,125 --> 01:16:08,834
- Mom, what are you doing here?
- What?! I don't get a "me" day?

1314
01:16:08,917 --> 01:16:11,083
- Yeah, a little bump
on the noggin. He's alright.

1315
01:16:11,166 --> 01:16:12,625
- Did you find Andy?

1316
01:16:12,709 --> 01:16:15,917
- Oh, yeah.
He's in the corn flake box.

1317
01:16:16,000 --> 01:16:17,875
Jeff told the garbage man
about the dead puppies.

1318
01:16:17,959 --> 01:16:20,458
So now, we're back
at square uno.

1319
01:16:20,542 --> 01:16:24,917
- You think you could keep up this spacey looking,
drooling idiot bit a little while longer?

1320
01:16:25,000 --> 01:16:26,542
- I think I have an actual
head injury.

1321
01:16:26,625 --> 01:16:29,625
I should probably go
to the hospital.

1322
01:16:29,709 --> 01:16:31,834
- Kids, these days.

1323
01:16:31,917 --> 01:16:34,875
- Your uncle lost a foot in a combine
accident once. He never made a peep.

1324
01:16:34,959 --> 01:16:37,917
- Because maybe that's our play.
There's a saying in the sales game:

1325
01:16:38,000 --> 01:16:40,667
A man in a good suit can get
almost anywhere

1326
01:16:40,750 --> 01:16:42,333
if he walks with confidence.

1327
01:16:42,417 --> 01:16:44,625
- More than anywhere.
- Do you know any gimps?

1328
01:16:45,750 --> 01:16:47,125
What, like, otherly gifted.
Hello, anybody home?

1329
01:16:47,208 --> 01:16:51,792
- A person with activity limitation
is what we call them at work.

1330
01:16:51,875 --> 01:16:53,750
- Okay.
- Like his oldest friend, Cam.

1331
01:16:53,834 --> 01:16:55,709
He's been in a wheelchair
his whole life.

1332
01:16:55,792 --> 01:16:59,458
- Now, that's the best news
I've heard all day.

1333
01:17:01,542 --> 01:17:05,834
- I just want you to know that I know
how incredibly offensive this is.

1334
01:17:05,917 --> 01:17:08,959
Just say the word
and I won't do it.

1335
01:17:09,917 --> 01:17:13,709
- Good. I'm glad you came
to your senses.

1336
01:17:13,792 --> 01:17:16,458
Do you realize
how insensitive this is?

1337
01:17:17,667 --> 01:17:19,917
- Yeah, man. I'm sorry.

1338
01:17:20,000 --> 01:17:21,959
I'm just shitting you, man.

1339
01:17:22,041 --> 01:17:24,500
Take it, you fucking
wannabe able-ist.

1340
01:17:24,583 --> 01:17:26,834
- Are you serious?
- Oh, yeah. No, dude. I love this.

1341
01:17:26,917 --> 01:17:28,250
People are terrified
of these things.

1342
01:17:28,333 --> 01:17:32,000
I free-rolled into more concerts
than you can imagine. - You have?

1343
01:17:32,083 --> 01:17:32,959
- Young Jeezy.
First row.

1344
01:17:33,041 --> 01:17:35,542
He was like, "Get on stage!"
I was like,

1345
01:17:35,625 --> 01:17:37,542
"Uh, there's no ramp."
But it was like, a nice...

1346
01:17:37,625 --> 01:17:39,875
it was nice of him
to invite him.

1347
01:17:39,959 --> 01:17:42,625
Look, I got you this.
It might help.

1348
01:17:42,709 --> 01:17:45,792
- What is this?
- I'm a fixer, buddy. Solve your problems.

1349
01:17:45,875 --> 01:17:47,917
- You're the best.
- That's true.

1350
01:17:48,000 --> 01:17:49,583
- I love you. - Alright, man.
Go out there and make me proud.

1351
01:17:49,667 --> 01:17:52,458
- Alright, I will.
- Goddamn criminal.

1352
01:17:52,542 --> 01:17:55,375
Remember not to move your legs.

1353
01:17:57,041 --> 01:17:58,041
- Shit...

1354
01:18:00,375 --> 01:18:04,875
- You know, I usually have men bolt
out of my house after the fact.

1355
01:18:04,959 --> 01:18:06,333
Not before.

1356
01:18:06,417 --> 01:18:09,583
- Yeah. Sorry about that.

1357
01:18:09,667 --> 01:18:11,041
- It's okay.

1358
01:18:11,125 --> 01:18:14,125
You're a good guy.
There's not a lot of you around.

1359
01:18:14,208 --> 01:18:15,542
- Well...

1360
01:18:15,625 --> 01:18:19,750
it was 50-50 there
for a second.

1361
01:18:19,834 --> 01:18:20,834
- No, it wasn't.

1362
01:18:20,917 --> 01:18:24,417
Although,
you would've had a lot of fun.

1363
01:18:24,500 --> 01:18:27,458
I do a lot of Cirque du Soleil
kind of stuff.

1364
01:18:27,542 --> 01:18:29,875
And I'm seriously good at it.

1365
01:18:34,625 --> 01:18:37,542
- Well, that was just mean.

1366
01:18:43,875 --> 01:18:45,750
Pop it, Jeff!

1367
01:18:56,792 --> 01:18:58,917
No, no, that's okay. I got it.

1368
01:18:59,000 --> 01:19:01,542
- God, your mom is so flexible.

1369
01:19:05,792 --> 01:19:09,291
- Okay. You ready?
- Almost.

1370
01:19:09,375 --> 01:19:10,917
- Hey! What the fuck?

1371
01:19:15,125 --> 01:19:17,959
- You gotta trust me.
God is in the details.

1372
01:19:19,417 --> 01:19:21,583
Just watch and learn.

1373
01:19:25,000 --> 01:19:28,583
Excuse me, young lady,
that is a gorgeous blouse.

1374
01:19:28,667 --> 01:19:31,083
Did you know this morning
when you got up

1375
01:19:31,166 --> 01:19:32,583
how it would just
make your eyes pop?

1376
01:19:32,667 --> 01:19:34,834
- Uh, how can I help you?

1377
01:19:34,917 --> 01:19:38,125
- We are here to see John Travis
in special events.

1378
01:19:38,208 --> 01:19:39,375
Can you tell him
Reggie Treehorne

1379
01:19:39,458 --> 01:19:42,000
and his special friend from
Rolling for the Cure are here?

1380
01:19:44,834 --> 01:19:47,583
Remember,
you're mute.

1381
01:19:47,667 --> 01:19:49,458
- Remember,
it's not Rolling for the Cure.

1382
01:19:49,542 --> 01:19:52,500
It's Roll for the Cure.
Look at the fucking T-shirt.

1383
01:19:52,583 --> 01:19:54,750
Uh, sorry.
He's still at lunch.

1384
01:19:54,834 --> 01:19:56,542
- Oh, did I get the time...

1385
01:19:56,625 --> 01:19:59,083
Oh! Yeah, that's my bad.

1386
01:19:59,166 --> 01:20:01,542
Uh, well, perhaps
we could wait in his office.

1387
01:20:01,625 --> 01:20:03,125
- I can't let you back there.

1388
01:20:03,208 --> 01:20:05,917
- You know, I'm just not sure
you want the optics

1389
01:20:06,000 --> 01:20:08,834
of a special person
loitering in the...

1390
01:20:08,917 --> 01:20:11,917
in the waiting area.
You know what I mean?

1391
01:20:14,542 --> 01:20:15,375
- Sir.

1392
01:20:15,458 --> 01:20:17,542
- It's a corporate image
kind of thing,

1393
01:20:17,625 --> 01:20:19,792
but if you're okay with that,
I'm okay with that.

1394
01:20:20,875 --> 01:20:22,625
We'll be right over here.

1395
01:20:23,959 --> 01:20:25,875
Now.
- Hmm...?

1396
01:20:28,166 --> 01:20:31,000
Oh!
- Is he okay?

1397
01:20:31,083 --> 01:20:32,834
- Uh, you know, I don't know.

1398
01:20:33,792 --> 01:20:34,959
Oh!

1399
01:20:35,041 --> 01:20:37,083
Oh, he may need a bathroom.

1400
01:20:37,166 --> 01:20:39,792
Yeah, yeah, without question.

1401
01:20:39,875 --> 01:20:41,000
- The only bathroom we have
is back there.

1402
01:20:41,083 --> 01:20:43,792
- You know, that's okay.
I've got wet wipes.

1403
01:20:43,875 --> 01:20:45,917
If you could just...
just get his belt for me.

1404
01:20:46,000 --> 01:20:48,792
And be careful, you know, you think
adult diapers are full on water-tight,

1405
01:20:48,875 --> 01:20:51,208
but I've had some nasty surprises
in my day. Haven't I, pal?

1406
01:20:52,417 --> 01:20:56,083
They call him the brown firehose
down at the centre.

1407
01:20:56,166 --> 01:20:59,667
It's not because of his dick.
Thank you.

1408
01:21:02,875 --> 01:21:04,917
We're gonna need
more toilet paper.

1409
01:21:05,000 --> 01:21:07,083
- Someone just checked this morning--
- No, damn it, woman.

1410
01:21:07,166 --> 01:21:09,959
This is not a drill. We're in
shit-con four. You need to hustle up

1411
01:21:10,041 --> 01:21:13,625
a pallet of double ply in a hurry or you're
gonna need to repaint the whole bathroom.

1412
01:21:13,709 --> 01:21:14,083
Is that what you want,
to repaint?

1413
01:21:16,792 --> 01:21:18,667
Okay.

1414
01:21:20,959 --> 01:21:23,166
You are pretty good at this.

1415
01:21:23,250 --> 01:21:24,125
- You should see me
with an angry husband

1416
01:21:24,208 --> 01:21:26,792
when I'm nut-to-cheek
with his old lady.

1417
01:21:26,875 --> 01:21:28,917
Come on, buddy, you got
all the time you need.

1418
01:21:50,250 --> 01:21:52,792
And I know
most guys would disagree,

1419
01:21:52,875 --> 01:21:55,125
but I found something
incredibly erotic

1420
01:21:55,208 --> 01:21:58,667
about control top undergarments.
You know, holding so much back.

1421
01:21:58,750 --> 01:22:01,041
But I'm taking about the bustier as a
metaphor for aspirations of the heart.

1422
01:22:15,250 --> 01:22:18,208
It's funny when you think about it.
I mean, the more you...

1423
01:22:18,291 --> 01:22:21,000
the more you sort of invite
stuff to happen... - I like it.

1424
01:22:21,083 --> 01:22:24,250
- ...the more it can happen. Do
you know what I mean? - Sure.

1425
01:22:24,333 --> 01:22:27,041
- He's gonna need a seltzer,
I think.

1426
01:22:36,834 --> 01:22:38,959
- Alright, bud.

1427
01:22:55,709 --> 01:22:57,792
- Balls.

1428
01:23:00,291 --> 01:23:02,166
Security?

1429
01:23:38,208 --> 01:23:40,875
- Do I have to get a Hazmat team
out here?

1430
01:23:40,959 --> 01:23:42,041
- No.

1431
01:23:42,125 --> 01:23:45,166
Like I said,
I'm not a terrorist.

1432
01:23:45,250 --> 01:23:48,083
- Prove it. Make him eat some.
- How would that...

1433
01:23:48,166 --> 01:23:50,917
I'm not going to eat
my dad's ashes.

1434
01:23:51,000 --> 01:23:53,750
- See?
- See what?

1435
01:23:53,834 --> 01:23:55,417
That I'm not a necro-cannibal?

1436
01:23:56,000 --> 01:23:59,041
- Okay, let's say that's true.

1437
01:23:59,125 --> 01:24:01,417
- That would be nice.

1438
01:24:01,500 --> 01:24:04,166
- You get why we can't have people throwing
human remains on the playing surface?

1439
01:24:04,250 --> 01:24:06,750
Hygiene, workplace
health and safety.

1440
01:24:06,834 --> 01:24:09,500
You know, I started here
in high school.

1441
01:24:09,583 --> 01:24:11,875
We've had drunks, streakers,

1442
01:24:11,959 --> 01:24:15,875
a Morganna the Kissing Bandit
wannabe, but...

1443
01:24:18,208 --> 01:24:19,750
never a corpse.

1444
01:24:20,375 --> 01:24:22,208
- It was his dying wish.

1445
01:24:22,583 --> 01:24:24,000
He, uh...

1446
01:24:24,083 --> 01:24:27,917
gave up season tickets
for me and my mom.

1447
01:24:28,917 --> 01:24:30,458
- What was your old man's name?

1448
01:24:30,542 --> 01:24:33,291
- Andy Wall.

1449
01:24:33,375 --> 01:24:36,000
- So a real fan, huh?

1450
01:24:36,083 --> 01:24:39,125
- Why else would you want
large men

1451
01:24:39,208 --> 01:24:43,083
bleeding and sweating all over
your final resting place?

1452
01:24:51,083 --> 01:24:52,333
Why do you have
a picture of my dad?

1453
01:24:54,917 --> 01:24:59,458
- I've never seen someone
that drunk run that fast.

1454
01:25:00,917 --> 01:25:03,125
We figured he was trying
to piss on the team logo.

1455
01:25:03,208 --> 01:25:06,000
To explain why his penis
was exposed.

1456
01:25:06,333 --> 01:25:10,125
Although, we were 3 and 15
that year. So...

1457
01:25:10,208 --> 01:25:11,208
I get the impulse.

1458
01:25:15,166 --> 01:25:17,458
- You gotta be kidding me.

1459
01:25:23,458 --> 01:25:25,917
- Your old man
could really hold a grudge.

1460
01:25:30,917 --> 01:25:33,041
- Well, do we need to evacuate?

1461
01:25:33,125 --> 01:25:36,375
- Hmm... I think
we're good here.

1462
01:25:44,208 --> 01:25:45,375
Voluntary lifetime ban.

1463
01:26:02,625 --> 01:26:03,375
Just like your old man.

1464
01:26:17,458 --> 01:26:19,166
Hey, hey.

1465
01:26:20,417 --> 01:26:23,166
You want to leave him out in the
parking lot by a sewer grate?

1466
01:26:23,250 --> 01:26:25,125
We could turn a blind eye.

1467
01:26:25,208 --> 01:26:26,291
- He obviously liked
to tailgate.

1468
01:26:34,291 --> 01:26:37,291
- Hey, what hap-- Oh, God!
What?

1469
01:26:37,375 --> 01:26:39,583
- He gave up the tickets
for his family, huh?

1470
01:26:39,667 --> 01:26:40,750
- Oh, hey! Calm down!

1471
01:26:40,834 --> 01:26:44,667
- The one decent thing I thought
he ever did is bullshit.

1472
01:26:44,750 --> 01:26:48,083
- Look, he hoped the ashes would maybe
curse the team for the rest of time.

1473
01:26:48,166 --> 01:26:50,208
And in his defense, his pain meds
were kicking in pretty good.

1474
01:26:50,291 --> 01:26:53,375
You should hear
what I talked him out of.

1475
01:26:53,458 --> 01:26:56,333
- Did he tell you to lie to me?
- It was an agreed upon approach.

1476
01:26:56,417 --> 01:26:59,291
I mean, if the money didn't hook
you, we had the old heart-strings.

1477
01:26:59,375 --> 01:27:01,667
- Does my mom know?
- What?

1478
01:27:01,750 --> 01:27:03,542
Don't blame it on your mom. She wanted
you to have one nice memory of your dad.

1479
01:27:05,166 --> 01:27:07,375
- See you around, Jeff.

1480
01:27:07,458 --> 01:27:10,125
- Hey! Where are you going?
You don't have a job.

1481
01:27:10,208 --> 01:27:11,959
You need to do this.

1482
01:27:12,041 --> 01:27:14,542
- Yeah, I wouldn't scatter
his ashes for a million dollars.

1483
01:27:14,625 --> 01:27:18,417
- Oh, yeah. So you're just gonna let
the golf club build a new steam room.

1484
01:27:18,500 --> 01:27:19,458
Look, I can't defend the guy.

1485
01:27:19,542 --> 01:27:22,542
But, you know,
I care about the old jackass.

1486
01:27:22,625 --> 01:27:24,542
- Yeah, well,
that makes one of us.

1487
01:27:24,625 --> 01:27:25,959
- Let me explain something
to you.

1488
01:27:26,041 --> 01:27:31,083
Your dad was not proud of some of
the choices he made in his life.

1489
01:27:31,166 --> 01:27:34,250
And his biggest regret was
his estrangement from you.

1490
01:27:35,709 --> 01:27:38,291
And the afternoon
he told me about it...

1491
01:27:39,291 --> 01:27:42,000
I mean, it just broke my heart.

1492
01:27:44,583 --> 01:27:46,166
- Fuck you.

1493
01:27:46,250 --> 01:27:47,583
- Oh, I gave it a shot.
But fuck what he wants.

1494
01:27:47,667 --> 01:27:52,125
And fuck that dumb part of your
ego that wants to spite him.

1495
01:27:52,208 --> 01:27:54,000
Fuck your pride
two times on Sunday!

1496
01:27:54,083 --> 01:27:56,166
Just fucking be
the better man!

1497
01:27:57,125 --> 01:27:59,041
Or 20 years from now,

1498
01:27:59,125 --> 01:28:01,375
you can look back on your life,
whatever it is you do,

1499
01:28:01,458 --> 01:28:04,667
and you'll be able to say,
"Wow, was I ever a pussy!"

1500
01:28:04,750 --> 01:28:07,375
- Yeah, well, at least I'm a pussy
who can provide for his family.

1501
01:28:07,458 --> 01:28:09,542
- Or a pussy who drinks himself
to sleep every night

1502
01:28:09,625 --> 01:28:11,959
and starts banging
his overweight secretary

1503
01:28:12,041 --> 01:28:14,542
just because her muted cries
of ecstasy from the copy room

1504
01:28:14,625 --> 01:28:16,375
are the only thing that make him
feel half-alive.

1505
01:28:17,542 --> 01:28:20,250
- Well, that was...
was really specific.

1506
01:28:20,333 --> 01:28:23,542
- Because that's the way
it always happens.

1507
01:28:23,625 --> 01:28:26,250
Your family can't be happy
unless you're happy.

1508
01:28:26,333 --> 01:28:28,583
And you, my son, are one
mopey fuck.

1509
01:28:31,375 --> 01:28:33,542
So your dad had me lie to you.

1510
01:28:33,625 --> 01:28:35,625
You wanted to know more
about him?

1511
01:28:35,709 --> 01:28:37,709
Well, maybe that's all
there is to know.

1512
01:28:37,792 --> 01:28:39,500
So fucking what?

1513
01:28:40,750 --> 01:28:42,208
Life is a series of trade-offs.

1514
01:28:42,291 --> 01:28:44,750
And they don't all have
to be bad.

1515
01:28:44,834 --> 01:28:47,333
Just...

1516
01:28:48,208 --> 01:28:50,333
get this done.

1517
01:28:50,417 --> 01:28:53,333
And then,
don't think about him again.

1518
01:28:58,375 --> 01:29:01,542
- We were really close,
weren't we?

1519
01:29:01,625 --> 01:29:02,750
- Yes!

1520
01:29:02,834 --> 01:29:04,458
- You know, right on the field.

1521
01:29:04,542 --> 01:29:07,291
- Inches from greatness.

1522
01:29:07,667 --> 01:29:08,792
- Inches.
- Inches.

1523
01:29:08,875 --> 01:29:13,166
As the ladies always tell me.
I kid. I get the job done.

1524
01:29:22,000 --> 01:29:24,542
Come on!

1525
01:29:25,834 --> 01:29:27,750
- What time is it?

1526
01:29:31,875 --> 01:29:33,583
Got you.

1527
01:29:36,291 --> 01:29:36,667
Oh, fuck.

1528
01:29:36,750 --> 01:29:39,375
Uh...

1529
01:29:47,250 --> 01:29:48,709
What time is it?

1530
01:29:48,792 --> 01:29:51,000
Society really started
going the wrong way

1531
01:29:51,083 --> 01:29:53,750
when they took prayer out of schools.
And then, stopped wearing watches.

1532
01:29:53,834 --> 01:29:54,625
Can we focus, please?

1533
01:29:54,709 --> 01:29:55,625
You really got
15 minutes?

1534
01:29:58,583 --> 01:30:01,125
If we're
a little bit too sensitive,

1535
01:30:01,208 --> 01:30:03,000
you're gonna be
all over the place.

1536
01:30:03,083 --> 01:30:05,625
So what you need to do is you need to...

1537
01:30:05,709 --> 01:30:06,959
...so that you're not gonna be
flying all over...

1538
01:30:07,041 --> 01:30:10,709
- Alright, I think I got this.
Alright. I need my dad's phone.

1539
01:30:10,792 --> 01:30:11,959
- What?
- I need my dad's phone.

1540
01:30:12,041 --> 01:30:15,041
I gotta tape it to the plane
so we could live stream it.

1541
01:30:15,125 --> 01:30:17,125
- No. I'd really hate to burn
the roll over minutes.

1542
01:30:17,208 --> 01:30:19,250
- Give me the phone.

1543
01:30:21,583 --> 01:30:26,125
What's Vince's e-mail?
- Littleflatstick69@aol.com

1544
01:30:27,333 --> 01:30:29,542
- Okay. Flip that over.

1545
01:30:34,709 --> 01:30:37,125
Okay, Dad. Let's go.

1546
01:30:37,208 --> 01:30:37,917
Put it right there.

1547
01:30:38,000 --> 01:30:40,500
Here, hold this.

1548
01:30:44,667 --> 01:30:46,792
Alright, we got power.
Here we go.

1549
01:30:47,834 --> 01:30:49,500
There we go. Come on, come on.

1550
01:30:49,583 --> 01:30:50,792
Oh!
- You're up, you're up.

1551
01:30:54,834 --> 01:30:58,333
- Alright! Come on, baby.
Alright, oh!

1552
01:30:58,417 --> 01:31:00,375
We got it.

1553
01:31:00,458 --> 01:31:02,208
This is easy.
Wait, wait. It's going around.

1554
01:31:02,291 --> 01:31:04,333
- It's coming right at us!
Oh, whoa!

1555
01:31:04,417 --> 01:31:06,208
- Alright, come on.

1556
01:31:06,291 --> 01:31:08,583
- Just stop moving!
- Alright, I'm not. - Uh-oh!

1557
01:31:08,667 --> 01:31:10,458
- There we go.
- Oh! That's a straight line.

1558
01:31:10,542 --> 01:31:12,834
That's the whole job.
Right there.

1559
01:31:15,333 --> 01:31:16,834
No, you're a natural.

1560
01:31:18,500 --> 01:31:20,750
I can see right into
the stadium.

1561
01:31:20,834 --> 01:31:22,792
That's it.
You got it, you got it. Look!

1562
01:31:22,875 --> 01:31:25,291
- Come on.
- You gotta get higher.

1563
01:31:52,542 --> 01:31:56,291
Uh-oh!

1564
01:32:00,375 --> 01:32:02,000
Hold it steady.
- How you doing?

1565
01:32:02,083 --> 01:32:04,250
Just making a quick phone call.
- Come on, come on. Faster.

1566
01:32:10,625 --> 01:32:12,250
Hold it steady.

1567
01:32:12,333 --> 01:32:14,333
- Quick, behind
the serial killer van.

1568
01:32:14,417 --> 01:32:15,875
- Hold it steady.

1569
01:32:18,542 --> 01:32:20,250
- We're losing it,
we're losing it.

1570
01:32:20,333 --> 01:32:21,750
- Slow and steady. I can't see.
- You got it.

1571
01:32:21,834 --> 01:32:25,333
- Just need a little more.

1572
01:32:25,417 --> 01:32:27,208
- Nice and tight.

1573
01:32:27,291 --> 01:32:29,458
Drop your weapon!
- Good evening, officer.

1574
01:32:29,542 --> 01:32:32,500
Just... not a weapon.
- Drop whatever is in your hand!

1575
01:32:32,583 --> 01:32:34,458
- Just a little more time.

1576
01:32:34,542 --> 01:32:37,834
- Gonna get down very slowly.
- I'm not gonna ask you again.

1577
01:32:37,917 --> 01:32:39,875
- Putting it down.

1578
01:32:40,417 --> 01:32:41,667
Got it.

1579
01:32:56,500 --> 01:32:57,375
- Got it.

1580
01:32:57,458 --> 01:32:59,709
Rest in peace, asshole.

1581
01:33:02,458 --> 01:33:04,375
- Hands on the van!

1582
01:33:11,041 --> 01:33:14,333
- And I tell you, if we weren't
a couple of white guys,

1583
01:33:14,417 --> 01:33:16,667
we would've been tased,
beaten and pepper-sprayed.

1584
01:33:16,750 --> 01:33:20,083
It's nice to know being a tax-paying citizen
is still good for some in this country.

1585
01:33:20,166 --> 01:33:22,250
- Okay. Here we go.

1586
01:33:23,375 --> 01:33:25,959
- Even though I lost a friend,
I feel like I gained...

1587
01:33:27,083 --> 01:33:28,959
his hot ex-wife.

1588
01:33:29,041 --> 01:33:30,625
To leave a woman that's so...

1589
01:33:30,709 --> 01:33:33,291
- Don't be gross.
Please don't be gross.

1590
01:33:33,375 --> 01:33:34,959
- ...vital.

1591
01:33:35,959 --> 01:33:39,417
Juicy. I mean,
which at her age... come on.

1592
01:33:39,500 --> 01:33:42,625
- I understand. The more that I ask
you to stop, the more you keep going.

1593
01:33:43,834 --> 01:33:46,542
Just like in my mom.

1594
01:33:48,500 --> 01:33:51,667
- What?
- For my grandson.

1595
01:33:53,458 --> 01:33:57,375
Your father gave this to me
on our first date.

1596
01:33:57,458 --> 01:34:00,041
- That's really... sweet.

1597
01:34:00,125 --> 01:34:02,583
- He had his moments.

1598
01:34:02,667 --> 01:34:04,750
- Okay, well,
if you'll excuse me.

1599
01:34:04,834 --> 01:34:05,709
Your mom's coffee goes
through me

1600
01:34:05,792 --> 01:34:08,417
like a welfare mom
through food stamps.

1601
01:34:08,500 --> 01:34:09,792
Oh.

1602
01:34:11,125 --> 01:34:12,125
Oh, that's my Uber. Okay.

1603
01:34:12,208 --> 01:34:14,792
Gotta go.

1604
01:34:15,458 --> 01:34:17,917
So I guess I'll see you
when I get back here.

1605
01:34:18,000 --> 01:34:19,625
- Oh.

1606
01:34:19,709 --> 01:34:21,625
I thought you said I could
come visit you next month.

1607
01:34:21,709 --> 01:34:22,375
- What about the...

1608
01:34:22,458 --> 01:34:25,750
the office
and the birthdays?

1609
01:34:25,834 --> 01:34:28,000
- There's more to life
than just work.

1610
01:34:30,458 --> 01:34:33,542
- I would like that.
Bring Jeff if you'd like.

1611
01:34:33,625 --> 01:34:35,041
- Oh, don't jump ahead.

1612
01:34:35,125 --> 01:34:36,208
We're just friends.

1613
01:34:36,291 --> 01:34:39,583
I mean... with the benefit.
Is that how you say it?

1614
01:34:39,667 --> 01:34:42,625
- That is how you say it, yes.

1615
01:34:42,709 --> 01:34:45,041
- He certainly has some
interesting views.

1616
01:34:45,125 --> 01:34:47,166
- Mmm... yeah, you could...

1617
01:34:47,250 --> 01:34:49,792
you could help him out.

1618
01:34:49,875 --> 01:34:52,041
I always said
you needed a hobby.

1619
01:34:52,125 --> 01:34:53,834
- It's kind of nice to be liked.

1620
01:34:53,917 --> 01:34:57,709
It's a good reason
to get up in the morning.

1621
01:34:58,625 --> 01:34:59,875
- Yeah.

1622
01:35:01,959 --> 01:35:03,333
Go.

1623
01:35:03,417 --> 01:35:04,500
- Okay.

1624
01:35:04,583 --> 01:35:07,417
Uh, hey, Jeff!
I gotta get going.

1625
01:35:07,500 --> 01:35:08,917
Yeah.
I'd come and say goodbye,

1626
01:35:09,000 --> 01:35:11,959
but I'm dealing with a real
Cancun omelette in here.

1627
01:35:12,041 --> 01:35:13,709
- Okay.

1628
01:35:25,667 --> 01:35:28,917
It's okay. It's okay.

1629
01:35:29,917 --> 01:35:32,542
I'm gonna read you
a little story here.

1630
01:35:33,750 --> 01:35:38,500
Fully equipped
2,000 square-foot

1631
01:35:38,583 --> 01:35:40,959
with incidental liquor.

1632
01:35:41,041 --> 01:35:44,458
Sidewalk cafe patio.

1633
01:35:44,542 --> 01:35:46,792
Hear that?

1634
01:35:46,875 --> 01:35:48,792
Package good.

1635
01:35:48,875 --> 01:35:50,625
Looks good.

1636
01:35:50,709 --> 01:35:54,792
Tobacco license.
No smoking for you.

1637
01:35:56,208 --> 01:35:59,834
This one is 1,100 square-foot

1638
01:35:59,917 --> 01:36:04,583
with an 800-square-foot
basement.

1639
01:36:04,667 --> 01:36:08,500
C-3 zoned.

1640
01:36:08,583 --> 01:36:10,583
Hot location.

1641
01:36:10,667 --> 01:36:12,667
- Hot location?

1642
01:36:12,750 --> 01:36:15,583
You know, that was my band's
name in high school.

1643
01:36:17,250 --> 01:36:18,625
Oh, my God.

1644
01:36:18,709 --> 01:36:22,333
Is that a smile? Did it hurt?

1645
01:36:22,417 --> 01:36:25,792
- No. But this might.

1646
01:36:26,667 --> 01:36:28,750
What would you say

1647
01:36:28,834 --> 01:36:32,000
if I told you
that I quit my job?

1648
01:36:33,250 --> 01:36:36,041
- I'd say,

1649
01:36:36,125 --> 01:36:37,875
do you really think
the fact that what's-his-name's

1650
01:36:38,000 --> 01:36:41,375
almost out is gonna keep me
from yelling at you?

1651
01:36:41,458 --> 01:36:43,041
- That was the plan.

1652
01:36:47,917 --> 01:36:49,750
- Wake me up
when you come to bed.

1653
01:36:49,834 --> 01:36:53,000
- You wanna talk about it
tonight?

1654
01:36:53,333 --> 01:36:55,792
- No.

1655
01:36:55,875 --> 01:36:58,000
I don't want to talk tonight.

1656
01:37:04,166 --> 01:37:05,542
- Oh.

1657
01:37:06,917 --> 01:37:09,583
Okay. One more story.

1658
01:37:11,709 --> 01:37:13,208
Once upon a time...

1659
01:37:13,291 --> 01:37:16,000
there was...

1660
01:37:17,458 --> 01:37:19,041
this golfer.

1661
01:37:19,125 --> 01:37:23,083
And one day, he came home late
from the golf course.

1662
01:37:24,667 --> 01:37:27,041
♪ Somewhere along the way ♪

1663
01:37:30,667 --> 01:37:33,917
♪ I got off on the side roads ♪

1664
01:37:37,125 --> 01:37:40,542
♪ Somewhere along the way ♪

1665
01:37:43,083 --> 01:37:46,041
♪ I found where my heart goes ♪

1666
01:37:46,709 --> 01:37:49,583
♪ Because now I know ♪

1667
01:37:49,667 --> 01:37:54,875
♪ Sometimes the path
in front of us is hard to see ♪

1668
01:38:00,166 --> 01:38:02,709
♪ Lying in your bed ♪

1669
01:38:04,959 --> 01:38:07,917
♪ The worries in your head ♪

1670
01:38:09,709 --> 01:38:14,917
♪ If I try maybe
I could be like you ♪

1671
01:38:19,709 --> 01:38:22,917
♪ Somewhere along the way ♪

1672
01:38:24,750 --> 01:38:29,083
♪ I got off on the side roads ♪

1673
01:38:31,917 --> 01:38:35,083
♪ And somewhere along the way ♪

1674
01:38:38,125 --> 01:38:41,709
♪ I followed
where my heart goes ♪

1675
01:38:42,208 --> 01:38:44,250
♪ Because now I know ♪

1676
01:38:44,917 --> 01:38:49,959
♪ Sometimes the path
in front of us is hard to see ♪

1677
01:38:54,750 --> 01:38:59,291
♪ I guess I needed
a little faith in me ♪

1678
01:39:04,375 --> 01:39:09,291
♪ Somewhere along the way ♪