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Mayclore

The Fluffy Factory: There's One Born Every Minute

May 23rd, 2012
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  1. >You are a young suburbanite.
  2. >Decent job, pretty nice house, very nice car.
  3. >You are sad, despite your success.
  4. >Your cat just died. He had a good, long life.
  5. >Now, though, your nice house seems awfully empty.
  6. >You don't want another cat, not right now. You're not ready.
  7. >The house just isn't the same now that you're alone in it, however.
  8. >You drive past a store everyday that sells fluffy ponies.
  9. >Your brother bought his two ponies from here, and constantly sings its praises.
  10. >It seems nice enough, not like that hellhole public shelter he told you about.
  11. >You've been considering getting a fluffy pony to keep you company, to fight the emptiness.
  12. >Owning a fluffy pony can't be that hard, right?
  13. >They can talk to you, tell you when they're hungry, when they're sick, what they want to do.
  14. >Your brother loves his fluffies dearly, and says they're not hard to take care of, even if they are difficult to train.
  15. >Finally, your curiosity overwhelms you.
  16. >Today, when you get out of the office, you park in front of that store.
  17. >'Sunny Meadows Fluffy Store', the sign up top says.
  18. >You see a board in the window advertising foal amputations and hesitate.
  19. >You've heard of this. Fluffy ponies are legendary for their ability to die.
  20. >Still, cutting the legs off a mostly-sentient creature bothers you a bit.
  21. >After peeking in through one of the plate glass windows, you go finally inside.
  22. >The left side of the store is walled off. There are two openings in the wall where staff are helping customers.
  23. >There is a door between these openings, which seems to be the only way into that part of the building.
  24. >As you look to your right, you see a fluffy paradise.
  25. >The first thing you notice are the bright colors.
  26. >The walls are white, but they have colorful images painted on them
  27. >Most of the back and side walls are lined with spacious, spotless cages, stacked five high.
  28. >Some cages are empty, but most have a single fluffy occupant.
  29. >A few of these are eating dinner. The aroma of spaghetti fills the room.
  30. >Others are just having fun, nosing a ball back and forth, or rolling around and babbling.
  31. >Still others are sleeping, nestled comfortably in clean basket beds.
  32. >On the blue carpeted floor, there is a large pen where some young fluffies play, or hug each other.
  33. >A few other customers are walking around, browsing the selection.
  34. >”Can I help you?”
  35. >You turn to see a...purple-haired punk/goth chick?
  36. >Not the kind of person you'd expect to like cute, fuzzy things.
  37. “I was thinking about buying a fluffy pony...”
  38. >She smiles at you.
  39. >“You've come to the right place. I'm Sarah, the owner,” she says, offering her hand.
  40. >You shake it. She leads you to the cages.
  41. >The fluffies that are awake come to the doors, trying to hug you.
  42. >”New fwiend!”, “Pway!”, “Gif huggies to new fwiend!” they say.
  43. >”Have you ever owned a fluffy before?”
  44. >You just shake your head.
  45. >”Well, I recommend starting with an earth fluffy. Pegasus fluffies are fast and like to jump from high places. Unicorns can be a little fragile.”
  46. >You follow her to the back right corner of the store.
  47. >Young earth fluffies stretch their hooves through the bars, desperate to hug you.
  48. >They bleat inane, but adoring phrases like 'wuv new fwiend!' and 'gif huggies to hooman!'.
  49. >”Here's all the earth fluffies we have at the moment, besides the ones in the pen. If you have any questions, I'll be around.”
  50. >You nod and begin looking at the earth fluffies.
  51. >The majority of them are very outgoing and active.
  52. >You're looking for one that's a bit more subdued, if that's even possible.
  53. >A lime green fluffy with a black mane and tail and blue eyes catches your attention.
  54. >It stands at the door of its cage, beaming at you.
  55. >”New fwiend fo' fwuffy?” it asks. Unlike most of its fellows, it's not trying to hug you.
  56. “Maybe. What things do you like to do?”
  57. >The other fluffies reply loudly about hugs and playing.
  58. >”Wike pway bwocks! Wike nappies!” the lime fluffy says.
  59. “What about running around?”
  60. >The lime fluffy plops down on its haunches, apparently thinking hard.
  61. >”No wike wun. Wike bwocks, wike pway baww.”
  62. >You have to admit, the concept of a pet that you can converse with is turning out to be a bit creepy.
  63. >It sure removes a lot of guesswork, though.
  64. >You begin looking around. Sarah sees you and walks back over.
  65. >”Oh, he's a hugger,” she says upon noticing the fluffy you're looking at. “Most laid back fluffy I've ever seen. Loves his blocks.”
  66. >So it's a colt.
  67. “I noticed. I'd like to start with a less energetic one, just to be sure I can keep up with them.”
  68. >Sarah nods, opening the cage and taking him out. She offers him to you.
  69. >You take the young fluffy and hold him. He's only about seven inches tall at the top of his head.
  70. >His fluffy body conforms to your chest. His legs cling to you.
  71. >”Fwuffy wuv new daddy,” he says. “Fwuffy gif wawm huggies, make daddy happy.”
  72. >He called you daddy. Your heart melts instantly.
  73. “...how much?”
  74. >Sarah motions you over to the left wall, disappearing into the door before appearing again in one of the openings.
  75. >You snuggle the fluffy while she fusses with something out of your sight.
  76. >Suddenly, something occurs to you.
  77. “You guys don't sell adult fluffies?”
  78. >She looks up. “Nope. We specialize in young ones because they're easier to train.”
  79. “I see. Where did you get them all?”
  80. >She puts some paperwork on the desk. “Orphaned strays, breeders that have gone under, overcrowded shelters, places like that. We have some low-volume breeders that supply us too.”
  81. >You look around again at all the happy foals and nod.
  82. >Sarah begins explaining the price.
  83. >The base price for this foal is $35.
  84. >She offers you the amputation service, explaining that it helps keep them safe, but you decline.
  85. >It just doesn't feel right.
  86. >Next, she points at some shelves on the back wall, nestled into the left corner.
  87. >These contain, among other things, starter kits for new fluffy owners.
  88. >The kits have manuals about discipline and care, as well as coloring books and crayons for fluffies to enjoy.
  89. >They also have samples of various brands of fluffy chow for pets to try.
  90. >You go pick one up. That's another $20.
  91. >Next, Sarah tells you that the store has an in-house grooming shop, and asks if you'd like to open an account.
  92. >Your brother uses their service regularly and loves it, so you readily agree.
  93. >You fill out the papers while your fluffy sits on the desk, babbling about how much he loves his new daddy.
  94. “Will he need shots?”
  95. >”He already has them. We make sure every foal gets their shots or has them already when they come here to be sold. That's covered in the owner's fee.”
  96. >You're finished with the paperwork.
  97. >Under 'fluffy name', you've put Lime.
  98. >It sounds lame when you say it out loud to your new pet.
  99. >“Fwuffy name Wime? Wime wike name!”
  100. >Maybe not so lame after all.
  101. >While Sarah goes to file your account info, you browse the shelves with your new fluffy in hand.
  102. >You buy him a nice white collar, a red ball and a set of fluffy-safe blocks that he points out and asks for, as well as a fluffy-safe litter box and special non-toxic litter.
  103. >Sarah and another employee help you with checkout. The latter even takes the stuff to your car for you.
  104. >All told, you just spent $145.
  105. >The gently babbling fluffy clings to you.
  106. >You cannot stop smiling as you get ready to leave.
  107. >”Oh, I nearly forgot,” Sarah stops you. “We can make him a collar tag before you go.”
  108. “Perhaps when I get him groomed. I just want to get him home right now.”
  109. >She nods and smiles. “Okay, have a good day, you two!”
  110. >”Bye nice wady! Wime go wif new daddy now!” he waves at her.
  111. >The chattering fluffy in your arms continues to say he loves you.
  112. >You get in your car and head home.
  113. >Sarah smiles at you and waves as you drive away.
  114. >A new sucker is born.
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