Horse, Sheep, Chicken and Cow p.1

A horse is sitting in his apartment watching MTV.

As he's watching, Dire Straits comes on playing Money for Nothing.

He bobs his head to the music for a while before he suddenly thinks, "It would be great if I could learn guitar and play that riff."

Then he thinks, "Why the hell can't I? It's just a matter of getting a guitar, finding a music tutoring place, and..."

He looks down at his hooves and breaks off.

Then he lowers his eyebrows (do horses have eyebrows?), sets his chin and walks over to the phonebook.

He checks school after school.

The Derby Brothers, Radler's, OmniMusic... He calls every one of them and asks if they'd be able to train a horse. They all laugh him off and hang up.

He's beginning to get discouraged when he finally calls up Wentworth Music, the last one he had resolved to check wtih.

"Hello, this is Bruce Wentworth of Wentworth Music, how can I help you?"

"Hey, Bruce. I'm calling to try to book a few appointments with you guys to learn guitar... Every other place I've tried in NYC can't help me and you're about my last resort."

"Alright, we'll see what we can do. I can assure you, sir, that we are one of the better music schools in the area and we should have no trouble training you. What might be causing so much d-"

"I'm a horse."

The phone stays silent for fifteen minutes, and Horse begins to worry that Bruce, too, has hung up on him.

Then he hears a voice come out.

"Sorry for the wait, sir. I had to check our equipment in the back, and then what we've ordered to have shipped to us. Today's your lucky day, sir." Bruce is getting audibly excited now. "It turns out that we did order various pieces of equipment designed to handle any and all difficulties with training animals such as yourself. We should be getting our first few setups in a few weeks!"

Horse is stunned, and can't find the words to express himself for a few seconds, before managing to stutter out, "Th-that's amazing!"

"Yes, sir! A really lucky find for us - the pieces were made in Japan, and obviously there have been a lot of products invented in Japan in the past few decades that seem to have use but are... Inconvenient, let's say. Apparently some nutter over there decided that farm animals would enjoy making their own music, but then never found a market for what he invented! We got half his stock at a massive bargain. We can train any animal you can think of - horses such as yourself, sheep, rabbits, chickens, hell I'd be willing to bet we could..."

Horse cut him off "Yes, yes, I appreciate all this, but I'd like to book myself some appointments, please."

"Oh, absolutely, sir!" Bruce replies eagerly. "Like I said, they'll be here in a few weeks... Say we book your first appointment a month from now and go from there? Say, the 26th."

"Sounds good, Bruce - I should be available any time after 5. Thanks for going to so much trouble for me."

"It's no problem, sir. I'm always glad to help a new customer. I'll book your appointment right away."

"Alright, I'll see you when it comes around!"

"Have a good night, sir."

"You too, Bruce."