a guest Feb 27th, 2020 107 Never
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- Yaar tu sahi mein bahut acchi dost hai ... What you said today explains a lot of things in my life. I always thought that one thing I am proud of myself is the inside me (since I always knew my outside is not that good). Tujhe to pataa hi hai bada prowd hoke kehta tha main tujhse yeh. But then I was never able to explain myself on why no one see this inside me. Your words today made me realize today that I am not that good inside as I thought I am. I was just convincing myself that I am good from inside to make me feel important. I think i did a good job in playing with myself by repeating it to myself that I am good at heart and diferent from others. I somehow managed to hide the ugliness in me rather than removing it.
- Lekin kehte hai na intentionally to aap zhoot bol sakte ho. But unintentional things reflects real you. I think aaj wahi hua. Thankkkkkkk you very much for being such a good friend of mine by making me realize what I am. Every time you said "Tum Sub ladke" and put me in that category explaining why, it did pinch me badly (Literally like a needle). But it did make me realize that if you are saying this, it is correct. You care so much for me that you cannot be wrong. And what you said made sense. Those thoughts may never have come to my mind but they were hidden somewhere that I did not know.
- I do appreciate what you said dear. But now I do not think I have anything to offer that is good. And now I know that everything I do now will just be the fake me. And I am too scared that this ugly me will keep on hurting you and I reallyyyy reallyyyy do not wish to hurt you at all.
- But one thing I can say sweety is that I never intentionally faked being a good person to you. I somehow faked it to myself. I actually did not try to show you anything that I did not believe I am.
- I do not know why my real self judged you to be characterless. But believe me, just because a jerk says that directly or indirectly, does not make you one. It is his mentality that should be questioned (And thank you very muchhh for questioning it). I really apologize for being this jerk. You have several options to punish this jerk and yet you chose the most mild one for me. Thank you for being such a good friend.
- Every relationship that two human creates( and not created by blood) is always based on certain beliefs about other one and self. Even though I though I believed something, looks like my real self was acting differently.
- You are a gem of a person, Gold inside out. I dont think I can give justice to you or even come close to what you deseve. I am very scared that this inner ugly personality will keep on hurting you. And I do not want to hurt you at all. I did see you in pain today and me breaching the foundation today.
- I can promise you onething. Now that I know there is an ugly me inside, I will try my best to see I can make the real me good as well so that one day you can also put me in my own category rather than the common category "Tum sub log".
- Thank you very much again for making me realize my real me. I really value you as my true friend (Atleast I made this right thing of choosing you as my friend).
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