Elizabethtown

>go to see elizabethtown alone so I can pretend elizabethtown is my girlfriend
>I want to find perhaps a real girlfriend this time, so I buy a skateboard to take it to theater and put cool clothes on
>I skate inside the theater and pop my up like cool guys do
>it pops a few feet in front of my and scares a kid and his parents
>they scowl at me and I just grin to play it cool
>security guard comes to me and says my skateboard needs to go outside
>I am not sure what to do so I keep grinning to play along
>he says "PUT THE SKATEBOARD OUTSIDE." and points to the door
>I get really anxious and upset when being yelled at so I start sniffling every few seconds but manage to control it so nobody can see and I inaudibly convulse every few seconds
>hide skateboard in the garbage can
>walk up to the ticket counter making sure to look cool, so I pretend to look around as if I just happened to walk over on a whim
>I lean over the counter, and slightly lift my backwards trilby hat to show my eyes
>remember my film noir training and say "You're just no good for me baby, and I'm a guy you don't want to tango with"
>she looks confused and smiles, and asks what movie I want to see
>I don't want to look like a faggot so I ask for one ticket to doogal, one ticket to elizabethtown and another ticket to doogal
>she says "three adults?"
>not sure if 26 is considered an adult so I get really anxious and start sweating
>my face goes red and I open my eyes huge, and groan "YEEESSS" and grab the tickets
>I close my eyes so I can't see anyone's reaction and get embarrassed and feel around for the stairs
>get to the stairs and open my eyes
>go up and spot my theater and there is an usher there asking for my tickets I and I fumble with my tickets for a while and then just give him one
>>118565888
>he says "your theater is over there"
>I don't want to look like an idiot so I go to that theater
>I really want to see elizabethtown so I put on my grouch marx glasses and go back and give him the right ticket
>get into theater and find an empty row so I don't get goosebumps from being near people
>I have a chain coming out of my pocket like a chain wallet but it's securing my bag of spaghetti, and I take it out for a well deserved snack
>pull down my mortal kombat scorpion mask and empty the bag into my mouth
>start moaning in pleasure as I swallow the spaghetti goodness
>some black guys behind me say "YO WITE BOY FAGGOT U BETTA BE SHUTTIN THA FUCK UP"
>I try to play it cool and forget whats going on so start trying to laugh really hard
>forget that there is spaghetti in my throught so I begin choking and spurting spaghetti everywhere
>get up holding onto throat and hamming it up so people think im just joking and being funny
>still choking and I start getting scared so I cry but play it off like im being funny
>fall over onto my UFO pants rip open exposing my butt
>the black guy behind me stands up and starts shaking like the negros do and shouts 'WOOP THERE IT IS'
>disco ball drops from the ceiling and the 'WOOP THERE IT IS' song starts playing
>some kid comes out and kicks me in the stomach screaming "faggot!" which thankfully blows the spaghetti out of my air passage
>it flies into the face of a mexican who's wearing a sombrero
>he stands up and says "its pinata time holmes!" and everyone cheers when they hear this
>ties my to the ceiling and everyone bludgeons me to death
>go home alone