scary movie 5

0
00:00:11,000 --> 00:00:20,000
INDOXXI
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1
00:00:10,988 --> 00:00:12,750
if it's something you do
with every girl.

2
00:00:12,906 --> 00:00:17,509
Every girl? No, no.
I am strictly a one-woman guy.

3
00:00:17,661 --> 00:00:19,787
Well, I don't want to end up
all over the Internet.

4
00:00:19,939 --> 00:00:22,144
I pride myself on keeping a low profile.

5
00:00:22,297 --> 00:00:24,695
My private life is private.
Hm.

6
00:00:26,093 --> 00:00:30,139
Wait. I thought you never did this
before. What are all these?

7
00:00:30,289 --> 00:00:33,176
Oh, uh, just some movies I rented.

8
00:00:33,925 --> 00:00:35,005
"Me and Brandy, Missionary"?

9
00:00:35,164 --> 00:00:37,892
A tale of two girls who become nuns.

10
00:00:38,236 --> 00:00:40,236
What are all those?

11
00:00:40,434 --> 00:00:41,763
Oh, that's just your standard

12
00:00:41,912 --> 00:00:44,311
home security setup.
Basic run-of-the mill.

13
00:00:44,469 --> 00:00:46,947
No big deal, nothing too elaborate.
Everybody has them.

14
00:00:47,107 --> 00:00:49,835
And why do you need security cameras
pointing at your bed?

15
00:00:49,984 --> 00:00:52,303
In case a burglar tries
to steal my sex tapes.

16
00:00:52,461 --> 00:00:53,700
Now, let's get into bed.

17
00:00:53,860 --> 00:00:56,429
Let's just make this quick.
I have a court hearing in the morning.

18
00:00:56,577 --> 00:00:59,385
Judge Henderson?
No. I wish. Thompson.

19
00:00:59,534 --> 00:01:01,614
Mm. That's going to suck for you.

20
00:01:01,812 --> 00:01:04,131
It was a driving mishap thingy.

21
00:01:04,290 --> 00:01:06,211
Do me a favor.
Promise me you won't drive.

22
00:01:06,368 --> 00:01:08,255
That's sweet.
You're worried about me driving.

23
00:01:08,406 --> 00:01:11,485
Mm-mm. I'm worried about me.
I'm a pedestrian.

24
00:01:12,801 --> 00:01:14,131
Ow!

25
00:01:14,280 --> 00:01:16,757
Sorry. That's my sobriety monitor.

26
00:01:18,595 --> 00:01:19,595
Ow!

27
00:01:19,754 --> 00:01:21,754
Sorry. Sorry.

28
00:01:21,912 --> 00:01:23,514
Ankle. Tracking bracelet.

29
00:01:30,209 --> 00:01:32,891
What are you doing?
Huh?

30
00:01:34,085 --> 00:01:37,131
Just... warming up.

31
00:01:39,559 --> 00:01:42,083
You sure we're alone here? Feels like
there's somebody else in this house.

32
00:01:42,237 --> 00:01:44,714
Did you hear that?

33
00:01:44,874 --> 00:01:47,079
That's nothing.

34
00:01:47,232 --> 00:01:48,391
OK, what is that?

35
00:01:48,550 --> 00:01:50,835
Just... unraveling the old hose.

36
00:01:51,787 --> 00:01:53,674
Save it for tomorrow, Raul.

37
00:01:53,825 --> 00:01:55,473
Si, senor.

38
00:02:55,869 --> 00:02:57,676
Wow. That was amazing.

39
00:03:00,182 --> 00:03:03,421
Wow.
Get out of here, Emilio.

40
00:03:06,415 --> 00:03:08,098
Charlie, I'm scared.

41
00:03:08,254 --> 00:03:10,175
Lindsay, sweetie,
there's nothing to be afraid of.

42
00:03:15,566 --> 00:03:17,692
Hey, I got the stuff.
I got to call you back, man.

43
00:03:18,603 --> 00:03:20,365
Ow!

44
00:03:28,753 --> 00:03:30,197
I think I better go.

45
00:03:31,031 --> 00:03:32,838
Really? How about tomorrow? You busy?

46
00:03:37,025 --> 00:03:39,753
I'm going to blow you
across the room.

47
00:03:39,902 --> 00:03:41,232
Sounds awesome.

48
00:04:12,709 --> 00:04:15,710
And thus our story begins.

49
00:04:15,866 --> 00:04:19,389
The large reward offered
for the rescue of Charlie's kids

50
00:04:19,542 --> 00:04:22,111
drew the attention of police,
private detectives

51
00:04:22,259 --> 00:04:24,624
and Red Cross volunteers.

52
00:04:24,777 --> 00:04:27,823
Everyone was on high alert
for these children,

53
00:04:28,014 --> 00:04:29,901
except these two guys.

54
00:04:30,052 --> 00:04:33,495
No, man, Obamacare gives senior citizens
access to cheaper drugs,

55
00:04:33,648 --> 00:04:37,808
free preventative care, and it closes
the Medicare Part D loophole.

56
00:04:37,964 --> 00:04:40,612
And how does that help if I get
shampoo in my dick hole?

57
00:04:40,761 --> 00:04:42,284
What?
Mean to tell me you ain't never got

58
00:04:42,439 --> 00:04:44,088
shampoo in your pee hole?
OK.

59
00:04:44,237 --> 00:04:45,761
Maybe like once or twice.
Yeah, once or twice

60
00:04:45,916 --> 00:04:47,518
when you was playing with yourself.

61
00:04:47,674 --> 00:04:49,436
No, I wasn't playing with myself.

62
00:04:49,592 --> 00:04:51,752
I was showering,
and crazy got up in there.

63
00:04:51,910 --> 00:04:54,751
Bullshit. Cam Newton's
law of gravity is:

64
00:04:56,183 --> 00:04:58,991
Well, either way,
that shit stings like hell.

65
00:04:59,180 --> 00:05:01,829
Sting like a mother, man, it feel
like it's a hornet up in there.

66
00:05:02,254 --> 00:05:04,142
Exactly.
I don't understand why

67
00:05:04,292 --> 00:05:06,055
the shampoo company
can't fix that, man.

68
00:05:06,210 --> 00:05:07,779
They got "No More Tears."

69
00:05:07,929 --> 00:05:09,611
Why they can't make no more
hornets in your dick?

70
00:05:09,807 --> 00:05:13,603
I don't really think they expect you
to use the No More Tears on your dick.

71
00:05:13,763 --> 00:05:15,331
Well, why they call it
Johnson & Johnson?

72
00:05:15,481 --> 00:05:17,959
I got a better question, man.
What the hell are two stoners doing

73
00:05:18,119 --> 00:05:19,846
wandering around
these spooky-ass woods?

74
00:05:19,997 --> 00:05:23,395
Look, it's going to be worth it.
I told you... this is Humboldt County.

75
00:05:23,553 --> 00:05:26,633
This is where all the growers
grow their bomb-ass shit.

76
00:05:26,790 --> 00:05:28,836
You think they're gonna be cool
with us just helping ourselves?

77
00:05:28,988 --> 00:05:30,511
Look, man, we ain't taking no plants.

78
00:05:30,666 --> 00:05:32,632
We're gonna snip a few buds.
You know what I'm saying?

79
00:05:32,784 --> 00:05:34,386
It's gonna grow back
just like a lobster paw.

80
00:05:34,542 --> 00:05:35,781
You know, that's how nature do.

81
00:05:35,941 --> 00:05:37,623
I don't know, man.
Just doesn't feel right.

82
00:05:37,779 --> 00:05:40,018
Man, they ain't gonna care.
Look, man, we're gonna be cool.

83
00:05:40,176 --> 00:05:42,700
We're gonna roll one blunt,
then we're gonna get up out of here.

84
00:05:42,894 --> 00:05:44,815
Just one?
Just one.

85
00:05:46,130 --> 00:05:48,256
They won't care, huh?
Man, just keep running.

86
00:05:48,408 --> 00:05:51,534
Holy shit. Is that a drone? They're
going all Zero Dark Thirty on our ass.

87
00:05:56,440 --> 00:05:58,281
Yo, I think they gone.

88
00:06:00,796 --> 00:06:05,240
Oh, whoa. It's a cabin in the woods.
We need to go hide over in there.

89
00:06:05,431 --> 00:06:06,761
Nah, man, I'm not going in there.

90
00:06:06,910 --> 00:06:08,114
It reminds me of a horror movie
I once saw.

91
00:06:08,308 --> 00:06:11,468
What horror movie?
The one with the cabin in the woods.

92
00:06:11,625 --> 00:06:13,148
Friday the 13th?
No.

93
00:06:13,303 --> 00:06:14,792
The one with the cabin in the woods.

94
00:06:14,942 --> 00:06:16,305
Texas Chain Saw Massacre?

95
00:06:16,460 --> 00:06:18,506
No, the one with the cabin
in the woods.

96
00:06:18,658 --> 00:06:20,068
The Ring.
Uh-uh.

97
00:06:20,216 --> 00:06:22,820
The one with the cabin in the woods.
Blair Witch Project.

98
00:06:23,014 --> 00:06:25,252
No, man, the one
with the cabin in the woods.

99
00:06:25,411 --> 00:06:27,138
The Munsters.
That wasn't in the woods.

100
00:06:27,289 --> 00:06:29,130
They wasn't even a damn movie.
Look, man,

101
00:06:29,287 --> 00:06:30,856
we ain't got time
for this shit right now.

102
00:06:31,006 --> 00:06:32,893
We need to get to that cabin
in the woods.

103
00:06:48,268 --> 00:06:50,348
What the hell is that sound?

104
00:06:50,506 --> 00:06:53,234
Sound like the house settling.
It looked new.

105
00:06:53,383 --> 00:06:55,145
I'm gonna take a look around.
Go ahead.

106
00:06:58,618 --> 00:06:59,618
Ah! What is that?

107
00:07:06,290 --> 00:07:07,700
Ah!
Oh!

108
00:07:08,328 --> 00:07:11,090
Where we shooting?
There.

109
00:07:11,245 --> 00:07:12,530
Where?
The dark!

110
00:07:12,724 --> 00:07:14,133
There?
No, this dark.

111
00:07:14,962 --> 00:07:15,883
Over there.

112
00:07:19,397 --> 00:07:20,921
Dude, what the hell was that?

113
00:07:21,075 --> 00:07:23,804
Big-ass Alaskan king crab
just ran up on me, man.

114
00:07:23,953 --> 00:07:25,601
Crab? Cuz, we banging?
Ja'Marcus,

115
00:07:25,751 --> 00:07:27,877
put the guns down, man.
Put yours down first, homey.

116
00:07:28,028 --> 00:07:31,347
All right, on three. One, two, three.

117
00:07:32,584 --> 00:07:34,152
Damn.
You want to try it again?

118
00:07:34,302 --> 00:07:37,462
Sure. One, two, three.

119
00:07:39,617 --> 00:07:41,219
One, two, three.

120
00:07:43,333 --> 00:07:47,220
Uno, dos, tres.

121
00:07:47,369 --> 00:07:49,449
Man, we could do this shit all day.

122
00:07:49,607 --> 00:07:51,289
Truce?
Truce.

123
00:07:52,684 --> 00:07:55,969
Hey, yo, D'Andre. Look, homey.
It's two little girls.

124
00:07:56,280 --> 00:07:58,246
They're little racist girls, man.

125
00:07:58,398 --> 00:08:01,638
Wearing blackface. Cool with that?

126
00:08:02,234 --> 00:08:05,201
Hey, little girl, what's your name?

127
00:08:08,628 --> 00:08:10,116
What'd she say?
She said, "I wonder what your leg

128
00:08:10,306 --> 00:08:11,591
tastes like."
What? Ah, man!

129
00:08:11,745 --> 00:08:13,108
Little spider girl bit me.

130
00:08:13,263 --> 00:08:14,468
Maybe you're going to get superpowers.

131
00:08:14,622 --> 00:08:16,463
Ain't no black superheroes.
I'm on it.

132
00:08:16,620 --> 00:08:18,063
' Hi-ya!

133
00:08:20,776 --> 00:08:24,458
Yo. D'Andre, I think they're
the missing kids from the news.

134
00:08:24,612 --> 00:08:25,975
How can you be so sure?
Look.

135
00:08:27,289 --> 00:08:29,335
I don't know, man.
Well, if it is the missing kids,

136
00:08:29,487 --> 00:08:31,487
I'm gonna take that reward money,
and I'm gonna buy me

137
00:08:31,685 --> 00:08:34,686
a yacht, fill it with cash,
bitches and a shark.

138
00:08:34,842 --> 00:08:36,171
Why would you want to buy a shark?

139
00:08:36,320 --> 00:08:38,241
Trust me... we're gonna need a shark.

140
00:08:42,993 --> 00:08:45,642
No, this can't be right.

141
00:08:59,337 --> 00:09:00,747
Hi, Mom.

142
00:09:01,655 --> 00:09:03,337
I got to call you back.

143
00:09:04,452 --> 00:09:06,373
No baby, no baby, no baby, no baby.

144
00:09:07,689 --> 00:09:09,052
You're pregnant...
No!

145
00:09:09,207 --> 00:09:13,128
...with anticipation over
the outcome of this iPregnancy test,

146
00:09:13,283 --> 00:09:16,204
which has determined that you are...

147
00:09:16,360 --> 00:09:17,770
You got to be kidding me.

148
00:09:19,557 --> 00:09:20,637
Oh, no.

149
00:09:20,796 --> 00:09:22,319
Not pregnant.

150
00:09:22,514 --> 00:09:24,401
You dodged a bullet, you lucky slut.

151
00:09:24,552 --> 00:09:27,473
Thank you, God. Sweet!

152
00:09:28,708 --> 00:09:31,788
Great news:
They found my brother's kids.

153
00:09:31,944 --> 00:09:33,229
Oh, crap.

154
00:09:33,383 --> 00:09:35,951
We're very fortunate
the older one, Kathy, has retained

155
00:09:36,140 --> 00:09:37,584
most of her vocabulary.

156
00:09:37,739 --> 00:09:39,865
The baby hasn't actually said a word.

157
00:09:40,056 --> 00:09:43,341
Why not?
Because he's a baby.

158
00:09:43,493 --> 00:09:46,936
They've been alone here
over three long months.

159
00:09:47,089 --> 00:09:51,727
I need to warn both of you
that this is not going to be easy.

160
00:09:51,884 --> 00:09:53,964
I'm ready for it.

161
00:09:54,122 --> 00:09:56,646
Hello.
No, no. Wrong window.

162
00:09:56,800 --> 00:09:59,277
Here's where the children are.

163
00:10:03,952 --> 00:10:05,998
- What is she doing?
-  In order to survive

164
00:10:06,150 --> 00:10:09,629
their extreme isolation, the girls
created an imaginary guardian,

165
00:10:09,787 --> 00:10:13,992
a parent figure to feed them,
sing to them. They call her Mama.

166
00:10:14,182 --> 00:10:16,786
But these may help you break through.

167
00:10:16,939 --> 00:10:18,667
And the Ritalin may help, as well.

168
00:10:18,818 --> 00:10:21,102
The proper dosage
for someone their age is...

169
00:10:21,255 --> 00:10:22,540
Wish me luck.

170
00:10:27,089 --> 00:10:28,578
Hey, Lily.

171
00:10:34,642 --> 00:10:36,290
Oh, how cute.

172
00:10:38,798 --> 00:10:41,957
OK.
Kathy.

173
00:10:42,594 --> 00:10:45,037
It's OK, Kathy. Remember these?

174
00:10:45,191 --> 00:10:47,873
You used to wear them
to help you see better.

175
00:10:54,462 --> 00:10:55,950
No, no, no!

176
00:10:57,139 --> 00:11:00,140
Maybe we should get her
some contacts... the soft kind.

177
00:11:03,892 --> 00:11:05,302
Daddy?

178
00:11:06,210 --> 00:11:08,654
No, sweetheart. Not Daddy.

179
00:11:08,847 --> 00:11:10,450
I'm your Uncle Dan. Remember?

180
00:11:10,606 --> 00:11:12,049
And this is Jody.

181
00:11:12,204 --> 00:11:14,170
Jo...

182
00:11:14,322 --> 00:11:17,163
Jody.
No pause between "Jo" and "dy."

183
00:11:17,319 --> 00:11:19,285
Jo...

184
00:11:19,477 --> 00:11:21,875
Dan, we're at an impasse.
I see constant conflict.

185
00:11:22,034 --> 00:11:24,080
It's fine. They'll warm up to you.

186
00:11:24,232 --> 00:11:25,642
Oh!

187
00:11:25,790 --> 00:11:28,268
Hey, hey, hey, little lady,
that's not how...

188
00:11:28,428 --> 00:11:30,076
You little mother...!

189
00:11:33,703 --> 00:11:37,306
Well, everything checks out.
They seem like good kids, Doc.

190
00:11:37,459 --> 00:11:38,744
Just validate our parking.
We'll take them home.

191
00:11:38,897 --> 00:11:41,182
Folks, I wish it were that easy.
You don't validate?

192
00:11:41,335 --> 00:11:43,574
I'm saying the kids
are not yours to take.

193
00:11:43,733 --> 00:11:45,699
Well, you can't win them all.
Let's skedaddle.

194
00:11:45,890 --> 00:11:49,857
That's not fair. They're my brother
Charlie's kids. We deserve them.

195
00:11:50,006 --> 00:11:53,371
Do you? Your wife plays in a punk rock
band, staying out all night long,

196
00:11:53,523 --> 00:11:56,205
high on drugs, sleeping with
a different man every night.

197
00:11:56,360 --> 00:11:59,122
I don't think the courts
are gonna look upon that too favorably.

198
00:11:59,277 --> 00:12:00,607
But...
I was just messing with you.

199
00:12:00,755 --> 00:12:01,994
The kids are yours.
They are?

200
00:12:02,154 --> 00:12:03,598
Did you hear that, honey? They're ours!

201
00:12:03,752 --> 00:12:07,356
On one condition. This house is owned
by the Institute for Case Studies.

202
00:12:07,509 --> 00:12:09,555
Every room is fully wired with cameras.

203
00:12:09,707 --> 00:12:12,310
If you move into the house,
you get the kids.

204
00:12:12,464 --> 00:12:15,351
Can't we just sell the house and put
the kids in a high-end orphanage?

205
00:12:15,501 --> 00:12:17,706
Jody, do you really think
you're out out to be a mom?

206
00:12:17,858 --> 00:12:18,858
Mm-mm. Mm-mm.

207
00:12:19,057 --> 00:12:20,262
Of course she is.
Dan!

208
00:12:20,416 --> 00:12:23,337
Now, no more rock band,
no more silly wig.

209
00:12:23,493 --> 00:12:25,573
It's not silly. It's all a part of me.

210
00:12:25,730 --> 00:12:27,572
And no more tattoos.
What are you doing?

211
00:12:27,768 --> 00:12:30,372
What I had to.
We're a perfect suburban couple.

212
00:12:30,526 --> 00:12:35,288
And so Dan and Jody headed to
their new house with their new children.

213
00:12:35,441 --> 00:12:38,759
But, like a slutty sorority girl
returning from spring break,

214
00:12:38,917 --> 00:12:43,475
they were also bringing home
a hidden evil.

215
00:12:44,711 --> 00:12:47,360
All right, kids,
here's our new house.

216
00:12:47,509 --> 00:12:49,111
And here's Uncle Dan.

217
00:12:49,307 --> 00:12:52,467
Hi. Don't forget about mommy!

218
00:12:52,624 --> 00:12:56,420
Dan, I'm not their mommy.
They can call me Aunt Jody.

219
00:12:56,580 --> 00:12:58,818
Or Jodes, J-Mom, Mrs. Sanders.

220
00:12:59,017 --> 00:13:00,620
Or, if they really want
to call me... Garage!

221
00:13:03,053 --> 00:13:04,542
Here comes Jody and Aidan,

222
00:13:04,691 --> 00:13:06,294
entering the house
for the very first time.

223
00:13:06,450 --> 00:13:10,087
This is where we're going to protect you
and make sure nothing bad...

224
00:13:10,246 --> 00:13:11,814
Oh, my God, Aidan!
I'm sorry. I'm so sorry.

225
00:13:11,964 --> 00:13:13,805
Maybe we should put him in the carrier.

226
00:13:13,962 --> 00:13:18,168
There, see, that's better.
Come on, Aidan. What, what, what?

227
00:13:18,318 --> 00:13:20,603
Relax, it's OK.
Oh, my gosh.

228
00:13:20,755 --> 00:13:22,597
Dan, I lost the baby!
What?

229
00:13:22,753 --> 00:13:25,561
Oh, my gosh, Aidan!
Aidan, where are you?!

230
00:13:25,710 --> 00:13:26,835
- Aidan!
-  Where did you go?

231
00:13:26,989 --> 00:13:31,229
Oh, there he is, OK.

232
00:13:31,385 --> 00:13:33,272
Here's your sister Kathy.

233
00:13:33,423 --> 00:13:34,752
Oh, Aidan, it's OK.

234
00:13:34,901 --> 00:13:36,629
You've just got to talk
in a baby voice.

235
00:13:36,779 --> 00:13:39,985
It doesn't even matter what you say.
OK.

236
00:13:40,136 --> 00:13:42,296
I'm your stepmommy.

237
00:13:43,732 --> 00:13:46,176
I'm not your fricking mommy.

238
00:13:46,330 --> 00:13:48,569
There you go, you're a natural.

239
00:13:48,767 --> 00:13:50,813
What's that smell?

240
00:13:52,524 --> 00:13:55,365
Oh, my God, what do I do?
Oh, oh! Here, this, hold on!

241
00:13:55,561 --> 00:13:58,562
'  Uncle Dan!

242
00:13:58,717 --> 00:14:02,321
' Kathy! Oh, sorry, Ow!

243
00:14:02,514 --> 00:14:06,037
All right, there you go, sweetie.

244
00:14:06,190 --> 00:14:09,555
Is it chilly in here? I felt it
as soon as I entered the room.

245
00:14:09,706 --> 00:14:11,786
Feels fine. Hey, what are these?

246
00:14:11,944 --> 00:14:14,593
This is interesting. What is this?

247
00:14:14,741 --> 00:14:17,345
I don't know, Mama drew that one.

248
00:14:17,499 --> 00:14:20,227
Look, we drew this picture for Aidan.

249
00:14:20,413 --> 00:14:23,493
See? It's Aidan
on a rocket to the moon.

250
00:14:23,649 --> 00:14:27,695
Oh. Sitting on a rocket.
Where's Lily?

251
00:14:31,362 --> 00:14:33,442
Oh, no, sweetie, the other end.

252
00:14:34,359 --> 00:14:35,847
Ooh!

253
00:14:36,956 --> 00:14:39,241
Let's go introduce Aidan
to the rest of the family.

254
00:14:43,150 --> 00:14:44,480
Oh, and there's
our furry family member.

255
00:14:44,628 --> 00:14:47,197
- Yes, Maria.
-  No, Dan, Artie.

256
00:14:47,346 --> 00:14:49,312
Oh, yes, of course, our dog Artie.

257
00:14:49,464 --> 00:14:52,385
Ay, the new baby. I make blessing.
Oh.

258
00:14:59,334 --> 00:15:01,221
OK, OK, that's good, Maria.

259
00:15:02,531 --> 00:15:04,054
Oh, my gosh.

260
00:15:06,007 --> 00:15:07,894
With three new kids
to care for,

261
00:15:08,045 --> 00:15:10,932
Dan really needed
to start performing at work.

262
00:15:11,082 --> 00:15:14,799
Unfortunately he was having
some issues with a colleague.

263
00:15:14,958 --> 00:15:18,516
OK, Caesar, this is
the one, I can feel it.

264
00:15:20,632 --> 00:15:23,917
Eighty-one seconds? Oh, Caesar.

265
00:15:24,069 --> 00:15:26,274
That's your worst time yet.

266
00:15:26,427 --> 00:15:28,904
You're doing even worse
on your creativity test.

267
00:15:29,064 --> 00:15:32,621
I mean, look at all the imaginative
things I made out of blocks.

268
00:15:32,780 --> 00:15:34,224
Like this awesome plane.

269
00:15:39,933 --> 00:15:43,059
Dan, do you have any results yet?

270
00:15:43,210 --> 00:15:45,858
Oh, well, I've been injecting
the primates twice a day

271
00:15:46,007 --> 00:15:49,803
with the I-13 intelligence drug.
I'm hoping in a week or so...

272
00:15:49,963 --> 00:15:52,964
I hope Caesar is not just
a big waste of time and money.

273
00:15:53,120 --> 00:15:56,757
I'm the one responsible to the board.
Just show me one thing positive.

274
00:15:57,715 --> 00:16:00,364
Look. They still throw their shit.

275
00:16:00,512 --> 00:16:02,717
But now they can keep score.

276
00:16:05,428 --> 00:16:08,031
We have to kick-start this thing.
When can we go to human trials?

277
00:16:08,225 --> 00:16:09,952
We're close, but there's
an intermediate step.

278
00:16:10,143 --> 00:16:13,541
If the I-13 works
on these reality wives...

279
00:16:13,699 --> 00:16:16,745
You better check that shit.
Who gonna check me, boo?

280
00:16:25,408 --> 00:16:27,692
We're pinning the future
of our lab on wild beasts.

281
00:16:27,845 --> 00:16:29,686
They're not beasts.

282
00:16:29,843 --> 00:16:32,208
They have feelings, they have families.

283
00:16:32,361 --> 00:16:35,123
Males pee standing up,
females pee sitting down.

284
00:16:35,278 --> 00:16:37,438
These apes are just like you.

285
00:16:37,595 --> 00:16:40,482
And me... you and me, blacks and whites.

286
00:16:40,632 --> 00:16:43,951
More like whites, of course.
We whites are a lighter shade of ape

287
00:16:44,109 --> 00:16:46,950
whereas you are bla... dder infection,
we're all at risk.

288
00:16:47,106 --> 00:16:49,311
So, what were we talking
about again? Vaginas.

289
00:16:49,463 --> 00:16:50,793
Shut up.
Yes, of course.

290
00:16:50,942 --> 00:16:53,341
Caesar has got to show some human
intelligence at that board meeting...

291
00:16:53,499 --> 00:16:56,705
Caesar's probably smarter
than half of those board members.

292
00:16:56,856 --> 00:16:58,141
Dan...
I know what you're going to say.

293
00:16:58,295 --> 00:17:00,977
"If he's so smart,
why is he in a cage?"

294
00:17:01,731 --> 00:17:02,811
You're in the cage.

295
00:17:17,474 --> 00:17:18,963
What?

296
00:17:19,912 --> 00:17:21,594
Oh, you're looking for this?
Uh-huh.

297
00:17:21,750 --> 00:17:22,750
It's my ballerina doll.

298
00:17:23,708 --> 00:17:25,072
You made this?
Mama did,

299
00:17:25,267 --> 00:17:29,393
using twigs, moss, spiderwebs,
sparrow bones, lizard eyes,

300
00:17:29,542 --> 00:17:32,509
all held together with rat droppings.
Oh, geez.

301
00:18:22,529 --> 00:18:25,370
Ah, ah, ah. What... what are you doing?

302
00:18:25,526 --> 00:18:28,004
I just can't deal with these kids.
They're creepy.

303
00:18:28,164 --> 00:18:29,324
We should just take 'em back.

304
00:18:29,482 --> 00:18:32,801
Maybe you guys just need
to find some common ground.

305
00:18:32,959 --> 00:18:35,164
What about that ballerina doll
Kathy's always playing with?

306
00:18:36,116 --> 00:18:37,957
I don't want to talk about the ballet.

307
00:18:39,113 --> 00:18:41,239
I saw what the ballet did to my mom.

308
00:18:42,030 --> 00:18:43,917
She became obsessed.

309
00:18:44,068 --> 00:18:47,705
She even danced the swan
while she was pregnant with me.

310
00:18:51,660 --> 00:18:53,945
Boo, ray, boo!
Shh!

311
00:18:54,138 --> 00:18:57,184
Shh. Hell. You better sit back
before I punch you in your damn throat.

312
00:18:57,334 --> 00:18:58,334
We're trying to enjoy the show.

313
00:18:58,493 --> 00:19:02,256
You go on... shh... shh me again.
I double-dog dare you, hell.

314
00:19:02,409 --> 00:19:04,375
Better ask somebody who I am.

315
00:19:14,837 --> 00:19:16,519
Whoa!

316
00:19:17,314 --> 00:19:19,883
Got it.

317
00:19:21,790 --> 00:19:23,392
Mom was never the same.

318
00:19:24,787 --> 00:19:28,152
That's unlikely
to ever happen again, ever.

319
00:19:28,303 --> 00:19:31,622
Just give it a shot.
Look what I found earlier.

320
00:19:31,780 --> 00:19:33,269
I mean, I know
it's just a local production.

321
00:19:33,418 --> 00:19:38,022
But could be something for you
and Kathy to talk about, could be fun.

322
00:19:38,174 --> 00:19:40,856
You really think so?
Yes.

323
00:19:41,011 --> 00:19:44,295
Well, I suppose I could check it out.

324
00:19:44,447 --> 00:19:47,527
OK. But the minute it becomes
too difficult, I'm giving up.

325
00:19:48,323 --> 00:19:49,448
That's the spirit.

326
00:20:02,989 --> 00:20:05,466
Even though Jody
only returned to the ballet

327
00:20:05,626 --> 00:20:07,229
to connect with the girls,

328
00:20:07,384 --> 00:20:11,227
as she got closer she couldn't help
but get excited at the prospect

329
00:20:11,380 --> 00:20:14,540
of becoming the Swan Queen.

330
00:20:14,697 --> 00:20:16,936
This season we open with "Swan Lake."

331
00:20:17,095 --> 00:20:19,095
As you all know, this piece
has the most challenging

332
00:20:19,252 --> 00:20:23,333
and demanding role in all
of ballet... the Swan Queen.

333
00:20:23,488 --> 00:20:25,057
Sizing up her competition,

334
00:20:25,207 --> 00:20:27,969
Jody knew the battle
would be a tough one.

335
00:20:28,124 --> 00:20:30,090
The white and the black.

336
00:20:30,241 --> 00:20:33,242
Fortunately we have with us
prima ballerina and the lead

337
00:20:33,398 --> 00:20:37,524
in my last 146 productions...
Heather Darcy.

338
00:20:39,792 --> 00:20:42,554
Ah, the seasoned professional.

339
00:20:42,709 --> 00:20:45,108
The still brilliant,
crusty, old, weathered,

340
00:20:45,306 --> 00:20:49,466
leather-faced elder statesman of ballet
to whom these young girls,

341
00:20:49,622 --> 00:20:52,463
less experienced,
more beautiful and delicious,

342
00:20:52,619 --> 00:20:56,415
but still very raw ballerina hopefuls,
look up.

343
00:20:56,575 --> 00:21:00,179
Show these far more desirable children
how it's done, huh?

344
00:21:01,171 --> 00:21:03,330
Music!

345
00:21:09,402 --> 00:21:10,846
Try that thing where you are skipping

346
00:21:11,001 --> 00:21:13,127
and you hop and you spread
your legs a little bit.

347
00:21:16,595 --> 00:21:18,960
Look at that form,
that technique.

348
00:21:19,113 --> 00:21:20,761
I'll never be that good.

349
00:21:22,110 --> 00:21:23,473
I'm Jody, by the way.

350
00:21:23,628 --> 00:21:25,549
Kendra.

351
00:21:27,105 --> 00:21:29,628
Are you going to try out?
Me?

352
00:21:29,782 --> 00:21:33,101
Oh, I don't know.
I mean, I like to dance, but I just...

353
00:21:33,258 --> 00:21:34,986
I don't like to be the
center of attention.

354
00:21:35,656 --> 00:21:38,100
OK, who's next?
Oh, food.

355
00:21:38,253 --> 00:21:39,617
Huh?

356
00:21:54,397 --> 00:21:57,477
It is as if I am seeing ballet
for the first time.

357
00:21:58,153 --> 00:21:59,483
That's not ballet.

358
00:22:04,867 --> 00:22:07,072
The passion, the sensuality.

359
00:22:09,699 --> 00:22:12,142
I can show passion.

360
00:22:12,856 --> 00:22:13,981
Oh, yeah.

361
00:22:15,413 --> 00:22:17,732
Oh, yeah, oh, yeah, oh.

362
00:22:17,931 --> 00:22:20,852
Jody certainly had
her work cut out for her.

363
00:22:21,407 --> 00:22:23,976
That Kendra chick was smokin'.

364
00:22:24,124 --> 00:22:25,807
Do you accept euros?

365
00:22:55,613 --> 00:22:58,819
Kathy, Lily, Aidan?

366
00:23:12,756 --> 00:23:13,802
Jody? Ah!

367
00:23:13,955 --> 00:23:15,478
Oh, sweetie, I'm so sorry.

368
00:23:16,033 --> 00:23:17,760
I'm so sorry.
I'm fine.

369
00:23:17,911 --> 00:23:19,149
It was on the floor.

370
00:23:19,349 --> 00:23:22,634
Ah, probably a screw loose.
I'll fix it.

371
00:23:24,744 --> 00:23:26,267
I feel like there's
something in this house.

372
00:23:26,422 --> 00:23:27,422
Like what?

373
00:23:27,581 --> 00:23:31,468
Like I feel hot, clammy,
foul-smelling breath on my neck.

374
00:23:33,215 --> 00:23:36,614
You need call psychic.
Kill bad spirits.

375
00:23:36,772 --> 00:23:39,818
Ugh.
No, Maria, enough of this stuff.

376
00:23:39,969 --> 00:23:43,094
OK, then I do blessing,
I protect house.

377
00:23:45,963 --> 00:23:48,247
Honey, you really need to relax.

378
00:23:49,079 --> 00:23:50,967
You're just stressed out
about the children.

379
00:23:51,117 --> 00:23:53,959
No, it's this house. I... I feel it.

380
00:23:54,114 --> 00:23:57,433
And Maria's a little off. I mean,
honestly do you really trust her?

381
00:23:57,591 --> 00:24:00,876
Oh, honey, don't worry,
she couldn't hurt a fly.

382
00:24:01,027 --> 00:24:02,790
Look, you have a big day
ahead of you tomorrow.

383
00:24:02,946 --> 00:24:05,310
Let's just get you some sleep, OK?

384
00:24:07,101 --> 00:24:08,261
Love you.

385
00:24:12,536 --> 00:24:15,104
I don't believe this...
our whole house ransacked.

386
00:24:15,253 --> 00:24:17,538
You leave the house unattended
with the doors unlocked

387
00:24:17,691 --> 00:24:18,976
and look what happens.

388
00:24:19,129 --> 00:24:21,858
They didn't take anything.
It's just vandalism.

389
00:24:22,006 --> 00:24:24,245
Every room except
the kids' rooms was trashed.

390
00:24:24,404 --> 00:24:25,404
So you suspect the kids?

391
00:24:25,563 --> 00:24:27,882
It was Mama. Mama did it.

392
00:24:28,040 --> 00:24:31,325
She hates this house.
She hates you.

393
00:24:33,675 --> 00:24:37,437
OK, Maria, this is camera.
Necesito filming.

394
00:24:37,591 --> 00:24:39,478
Thank you for helping me
clean up, sweetie.

395
00:24:39,629 --> 00:24:42,436
Oh, hey, been looking
all over for this thing.

396
00:24:42,586 --> 00:24:44,313
Still got it...

397
00:24:44,464 --> 00:24:46,942
I'm sorry! God, help, honey!

398
00:24:47,141 --> 00:24:50,699
Maria, honey, help! Geez!
Maria, put the camera...

399
00:24:50,858 --> 00:24:53,461
Oh, look at this.

400
00:24:53,615 --> 00:24:56,013
Mom coaching me
when I was a little girl.

401
00:24:56,172 --> 00:24:59,651
Aw...
Always applying the guilt trip.

402
00:24:59,849 --> 00:25:01,576
That got me the lead.

403
00:25:03,285 --> 00:25:04,888
Look, Maria.

404
00:25:05,043 --> 00:25:07,408
Maria, look what I found. What is this?

405
00:25:07,601 --> 00:25:12,363
Oh, uh, that's... a new type
of electric toothbrush.

406
00:25:15,174 --> 00:25:17,743
Graffiti!

407
00:25:17,931 --> 00:25:20,011
Did you see this?

408
00:25:20,169 --> 00:25:23,329
Who does that?
What are we...? Maria.

409
00:25:23,486 --> 00:25:27,373
Maria, por favor.

410
00:25:27,522 --> 00:25:31,159
Miss Jody, Miss Jody,
you call this man... Mr. Blaine.

411
00:25:31,318 --> 00:25:33,284
He helped my sister.

412
00:25:33,476 --> 00:25:35,875
This is a psychic.
Si, he'll help you.

413
00:25:36,033 --> 00:25:37,841
No, what we really need
are more security cameras.

414
00:27:15,406 --> 00:27:16,611
You're still awake?

415
00:27:18,003 --> 00:27:19,208
All right, listen, guys, it's just us

416
00:27:19,362 --> 00:27:21,089
until Uncle Dan comes back
from the hospital.

417
00:27:21,240 --> 00:27:23,559
I don't like it,
you don't like it, I don't like it.

418
00:27:23,718 --> 00:27:26,082
Now go to sleep. I have to be up
early for ballet tomorrow.

419
00:27:32,309 --> 00:27:35,674
You really like ballet, don't you?
Yeah, but I don't want you to go.

420
00:27:35,825 --> 00:27:36,871
Why?

421
00:27:37,024 --> 00:27:39,150
Mama says you're going
to have an accident.

422
00:27:39,302 --> 00:27:43,462
Oh, OK. Is this the same Mama
who trashed the house?

423
00:27:43,618 --> 00:27:45,584
Basically, yes.

424
00:27:51,730 --> 00:27:53,218
Don't go in there.

425
00:27:54,207 --> 00:27:55,128
I wasn't going to.

426
00:27:55,366 --> 00:27:56,571
Just don't.

427
00:27:56,764 --> 00:27:59,413
It's my house, I can if I want.

428
00:27:59,602 --> 00:28:00,761
I wouldn't.

429
00:28:00,920 --> 00:28:02,603
Would.
Wouldn't.

430
00:28:02,758 --> 00:28:04,600
Would, too.
Would not.

431
00:28:04,756 --> 00:28:07,757
You know what? I'm the adult.
You're not the boss of me.

432
00:28:07,913 --> 00:28:08,913
Don't.

433
00:28:30,611 --> 00:28:34,816
I told you
not to let anyone in!

434
00:28:41,759 --> 00:28:43,442
And so Jody was...

435
00:28:43,638 --> 00:28:46,081
Oh, my God, I just smelled that.

436
00:28:46,235 --> 00:28:48,201
It just got to me, yeah.

437
00:28:48,393 --> 00:28:49,995
And so Jody was...

438
00:28:50,151 --> 00:28:52,117
Oh, no, I... I'm sorry,
you have to excuse me.

439
00:28:52,309 --> 00:28:53,434
I got to get some fresh air.

440
00:28:53,588 --> 00:28:55,588
The next section
should explain itself.

441
00:29:10,131 --> 00:29:11,893
All right, attention.

442
00:29:12,049 --> 00:29:13,652
I do not wish to repeat myself.

443
00:29:13,847 --> 00:29:16,451
I repeat, I do not wish
to repeat myself.

444
00:29:16,605 --> 00:29:18,764
I require the sweater
I wear as a scarf.

445
00:29:21,440 --> 00:29:24,168
Ah. Comfortable, huh?

446
00:29:25,915 --> 00:29:28,802
Mm... Mother, please, I am working.

447
00:29:28,952 --> 00:29:32,431
All right, because Heather Darcy
is so old, this season

448
00:29:32,589 --> 00:29:34,396
we will have a new Swan Queen,

449
00:29:34,547 --> 00:29:38,264
and that person is Jody Sanders.

450
00:29:42,698 --> 00:29:46,256
Now, Jody, show us your routine.

451
00:29:46,415 --> 00:29:49,143
No, I'm the Swan Queen.

452
00:29:50,091 --> 00:29:52,898
Watch me. Ah...!

453
00:29:53,048 --> 00:29:55,810
As I was saying, my choice for new...

454
00:29:55,965 --> 00:29:58,091
Her?! Anyone but her!

455
00:29:58,243 --> 00:30:01,800
You might just as well
have picked the janitor!

456
00:30:01,959 --> 00:30:04,687
Me?

457
00:30:12,109 --> 00:30:14,757
Ira, please, not now. OK.
What?

458
00:30:14,906 --> 00:30:16,906
Yes, it was a difficult decision,

459
00:30:17,064 --> 00:30:19,871
but I have always been
attracted to Jody.

460
00:30:20,021 --> 00:30:21,987
How could I not? She has
the body of a fifth-grade boy.

461
00:30:22,179 --> 00:30:25,100
But in the event that she
is unable to dance,

462
00:30:25,256 --> 00:30:29,257
I am naming as her
understudy Kendra Brooks.

463
00:30:33,568 --> 00:30:35,727
All right, that's lunch.

464
00:30:50,071 --> 00:30:52,958
Ooh, this is a nice house.
I'm gonna go find the girls.

465
00:30:55,066 --> 00:30:58,033
Kathy, how did you know I was going to
have an accident today at the ballet?

466
00:30:58,223 --> 00:30:59,348
Mama told me.

467
00:30:59,502 --> 00:31:02,820
OK, well, how did Mama know
I was going to have an accident?

468
00:31:06,574 --> 00:31:09,734
Oh, there you are.
I found this bandage on my head.

469
00:31:09,931 --> 00:31:12,898
Dan, please. I think there is something
going on in this house,

470
00:31:13,048 --> 00:31:14,333
something about this Mama.

471
00:31:14,487 --> 00:31:16,249
I'm gonna call the psychic
Maria told us about.

472
00:31:16,405 --> 00:31:18,053
Jody, do you really
think we need a psychic?

473
00:31:18,203 --> 00:31:19,249
Uncle Dan, come here.

474
00:31:19,402 --> 00:31:21,209
Coming.
I want to show you something.

475
00:31:22,718 --> 00:31:26,560
Uncle Dan, Mama taught me some tricks.
Look what I can do.

476
00:31:27,793 --> 00:31:30,078
- Oh, wow, that's really good, honey.
-  Dada.

477
00:31:30,231 --> 00:31:32,879
Good Lord.

478
00:31:33,028 --> 00:31:36,268
Uncle Dan, look at me.
Evil spirits.

479
00:31:36,425 --> 00:31:37,754
Look, Mr. Dan, look.

480
00:31:37,903 --> 00:31:40,665
Isn't that one of Jody's bathing suits?

481
00:31:40,820 --> 00:31:43,866
You're facing something our
human minds cannot imagine.

482
00:31:44,057 --> 00:31:46,534
Mama.

483
00:31:47,454 --> 00:31:49,454
Let's get you in a robe.

484
00:31:50,730 --> 00:31:52,094
Do you want to hear
about the ballet today?

485
00:31:53,248 --> 00:31:56,771
Mama's helping us get ready.
Oh, OK, I'll brush, too.

486
00:31:59,961 --> 00:32:02,529
Hm. Where did my toothbrush go?

487
00:32:08,912 --> 00:32:11,390
Hey, we don't lick our balls
in this house.

488
00:32:11,549 --> 00:32:13,914
Sorry, won't happen again.

489
00:32:15,505 --> 00:32:16,949
Try as she might,

490
00:32:17,104 --> 00:32:20,264
Jody just couldn't seem
to connect with those kids.

491
00:32:20,421 --> 00:32:23,069
Or get the taste of that
toothbrush out of her mouth.

492
00:32:23,218 --> 00:32:25,821
Was it just eight-year-old teen angst,

493
00:32:26,015 --> 00:32:29,380
or were there otherworldly
forces at work here?

494
00:33:43,737 --> 00:33:45,101
Baby.
Hm?

495
00:33:45,256 --> 00:33:46,415
Babe, I heard something.
What?

496
00:33:46,574 --> 00:33:47,620
I think there's someone in the kitchen.

497
00:33:47,773 --> 00:33:50,501
See? There's nobody down here.

498
00:33:50,650 --> 00:33:52,776
There it is again!
Right there. Go look.

499
00:33:52,928 --> 00:33:57,009
Jody, calm down. See, there's nothing
to worry about. It's just...

500
00:33:57,164 --> 00:33:59,051
Oh, God! Geez!

501
00:34:01,759 --> 00:34:03,362
Dan, I'm calling the psychic!

502
00:34:03,557 --> 00:34:04,603
Ah! Make the call!

503
00:34:06,594 --> 00:34:08,435
Blaine Fulda, professional psychic.

504
00:34:08,592 --> 00:34:09,922
Hi, I'm Jody.

505
00:34:10,071 --> 00:34:12,469
Indeed you are.
Yes. And this is my husband Dan.

506
00:34:12,628 --> 00:34:15,469
Your payment as requested.
$500 in unmarked bills.

507
00:34:15,625 --> 00:34:17,432
And of course, you know Maria.

508
00:34:17,583 --> 00:34:20,107
Hola, Mr. Blaine.
Hi, Maria. How's your sister?

509
00:34:20,261 --> 00:34:22,465
Dead. Demon kill her.

510
00:34:22,618 --> 00:34:24,425
Well, that explains
the unreturned phone calls.

511
00:34:24,576 --> 00:34:27,100
I'm sensing evil.

512
00:34:27,254 --> 00:34:30,175
I'm gonna have to get some of
your personal belongings here,

513
00:34:30,331 --> 00:34:32,979
just so I can check for
demon and ghost residue.

514
00:34:33,128 --> 00:34:34,333
I'm not gonna be able
to lift all those monitors,

515
00:34:34,486 --> 00:34:37,692
but I'll send my cousin tomorrow with
the white van. He can get them in there.

516
00:34:37,843 --> 00:34:39,650
Dan was attacked
by the kitchen last night.

517
00:34:39,801 --> 00:34:42,245
We think it might be Mama.
Kitchen attack?

518
00:34:42,398 --> 00:34:43,922
You could've said that earlier.

519
00:34:44,077 --> 00:34:46,839
If a room turns on you,
it's either a ghost or a demon.

520
00:34:46,994 --> 00:34:51,438
Can a demon take over someone?
Like, live within them?

521
00:34:51,589 --> 00:34:52,999
Damn, that's some scary shit.

522
00:34:53,148 --> 00:34:55,308
So a demon is about
the worst thing you can have?

523
00:34:55,465 --> 00:34:58,194
No, ma'am, an STD is the
worst thing that you can have.

524
00:34:58,342 --> 00:35:01,821
Who do you know who wants to hurt you?
Do you have a jealous colleague at work?

525
00:35:01,979 --> 00:35:03,900
A Facebook friend
you might have ignored?

526
00:35:04,097 --> 00:35:07,177
Maybe you adopted a small
African child named Ikatababwe,

527
00:35:07,333 --> 00:35:09,379
promising to feed
this nigga for 25 cents a day.

528
00:35:09,571 --> 00:35:11,015
But then he needs something to drink!

529
00:35:12,009 --> 00:35:14,327
Anyway, let's begin.
OK.

530
00:35:14,486 --> 00:35:16,851
This is the evil communicator.

531
00:35:17,004 --> 00:35:19,925
When I put this on, I'll be able
to cross over to the other side

532
00:35:20,081 --> 00:35:22,399
and confront the entity.
That will immediately trigger

533
00:35:22,598 --> 00:35:27,156
the final $350 payment of
child support to Tisha Fulda.

534
00:35:27,313 --> 00:35:30,598
And if you guys would just join hands,
close eyes and concentrate.

535
00:35:30,750 --> 00:35:33,956
Empty your mind of all
the thoughts of today's troubles.

536
00:35:35,146 --> 00:35:37,589
Everything that went on,
get that out of your mind.

537
00:35:37,743 --> 00:35:39,903
This is all about the spirit world here.

538
00:35:40,101 --> 00:35:44,340
And three, two and one.

539
00:35:50,410 --> 00:35:52,934
What's happening? Things are starting
to move all by itself!

540
00:35:54,846 --> 00:35:56,448
Breathe! Breathe!

541
00:35:56,604 --> 00:35:58,411
- Wait, I don't think he can breathe!
-  He's a pro!

542
00:35:58,562 --> 00:36:01,403
A sophisticated piece of equipment
like that? Of course he can breathe.

543
00:36:01,599 --> 00:36:03,918
Shit, I couldn't breathe.

544
00:36:04,077 --> 00:36:06,805
Almost killed myself.
All right, I communicated.

545
00:36:06,954 --> 00:36:09,352
It was definitely a demon.
Oh, my God.

546
00:36:10,630 --> 00:36:13,108
Wait a minute. I was wrong.
It's a ghost.

547
00:36:13,307 --> 00:36:14,751
So strong.

548
00:36:15,545 --> 00:36:16,670
Ow!

549
00:36:17,503 --> 00:36:18,708
Help, it's got me!
Dan!

550
00:36:18,862 --> 00:36:20,305
Dan, wake up!
Ma'am, you got to

551
00:36:20,460 --> 00:36:23,825
get out of here. It's evil!
It's pure evil! It's Mama!

552
00:36:44,476 --> 00:36:46,159
Now do you believe
that something's going on?

553
00:36:46,314 --> 00:36:48,633
He got dragged away,
yelling out, "Mama."

554
00:36:48,792 --> 00:36:50,792
He got dragged away?
I don't remember that.

555
00:36:50,950 --> 00:36:54,234
Dan, you were unconscious.
I don't remember that, either.

556
00:36:54,386 --> 00:36:55,910
Look, honey, I don't want to argue.

557
00:36:56,065 --> 00:36:58,031
The important thing is,
we love each other, OK?

558
00:36:58,222 --> 00:37:00,587
No, the important thing is that
this Mama thing could be real

559
00:37:00,740 --> 00:37:02,342
and she might be trying to kill us.

560
00:37:02,498 --> 00:37:05,465
Jod, that guy was a fraud
and that's it. OK?

561
00:37:15,405 --> 00:37:17,565
What's that?
My penis.

562
00:37:17,763 --> 00:37:19,365
No.
Yes.

563
00:37:20,960 --> 00:37:24,166
There, right now, there.
I know. I'm trying.

564
00:37:24,316 --> 00:37:27,556
What the hell is that?
My penis?

565
00:37:28,512 --> 00:37:30,877
What's making that sound?

566
00:38:34,765 --> 00:38:37,084
Dan, what is that?

567
00:38:38,921 --> 00:38:40,409
My penis.

568
00:39:14,525 --> 00:39:17,492
Is that smoke?

569
00:39:21,558 --> 00:39:25,445
Maria! What are you doing?!
You're gonna burn down the house!

570
00:39:25,594 --> 00:39:27,754
Kill bad spirits!

571
00:39:27,912 --> 00:39:31,390
What is going on?
Maria almost burned the house down.

572
00:39:31,548 --> 00:39:32,594
What?
That's it, she's got...

573
00:39:33,906 --> 00:39:38,463
Enough! This is getting out of hand.
You're scaring everybody.

574
00:39:38,621 --> 00:39:40,667
You can't fire her. I mean,
she's been with us for years.

575
00:39:40,819 --> 00:39:42,148
I don't know what to do.

576
00:39:42,297 --> 00:39:44,377
That's discrimination.
OK, now what the hell?

577
00:39:44,535 --> 00:39:47,900
This is completely insane!
It's what she believes in, honey!

578
00:39:48,051 --> 00:39:49,176
Give me that!

579
00:39:49,330 --> 00:39:52,171
You're gonna let me go?!
Your family is not safe!

580
00:39:52,327 --> 00:39:54,453
I'm sorry, Maria,
it's just not working out.

581
00:39:54,605 --> 00:39:57,333
I'll give you a recommendation,
just nothing involving kids

582
00:39:57,482 --> 00:40:00,244
or within a mile of anyone's house.

583
00:40:01,678 --> 00:40:05,360
I can't do this anymore.
I got to go to work.

584
00:40:05,554 --> 00:40:07,122
I don't even understand
what you're saying!

585
00:40:41,438 --> 00:40:43,359
Ow!

586
00:40:43,556 --> 00:40:45,158
Ladies and gentlemen,

587
00:40:45,314 --> 00:40:48,076
for the past two years,
our own Dan Sanders has been

588
00:40:48,231 --> 00:40:50,914
testing the I-13 compound on 30 apes.

589
00:40:51,068 --> 00:40:53,353
Unfortunately, 29 of them turned into

590
00:40:53,506 --> 00:40:56,074
insane, aggressive,
deviant sexual predators.

591
00:40:56,263 --> 00:40:58,263
But one, Caesar,

592
00:40:58,421 --> 00:41:01,501
has experienced a huge leap
in intelligence.

593
00:41:01,658 --> 00:41:03,818
Here he plays three opponents.

594
00:41:04,015 --> 00:41:05,379
Of course, they're apes.

595
00:41:05,534 --> 00:41:10,330
But Caesar's superior capabilities
are the work of one man.

596
00:41:10,489 --> 00:41:14,012
The brains behind
the I-13 project, Dan San...

597
00:41:14,165 --> 00:41:15,495
Are you OK?
I'm fine, Martin.

598
00:41:15,684 --> 00:41:19,082
Ladies and gentlemen,
I'd like to introduce you to Caesar...

599
00:41:19,240 --> 00:41:20,445
You're not getting away from me!

600
00:41:20,639 --> 00:41:22,446
Oof!

601
00:41:26,793 --> 00:41:28,997
Oh, no!

602
00:41:47,732 --> 00:41:49,936
Traffic is backed up
on the Broad Street Bridge,

603
00:41:50,089 --> 00:41:53,533
where apparently police are battling
dozens of apes in a running gunfight.

604
00:41:53,726 --> 00:41:56,772
Our reports indicate that
a scientist at a research laboratory

605
00:41:56,922 --> 00:41:59,844
gave these apes an experimental
intelligence drug.

606
00:41:59,999 --> 00:42:03,523
I'm being told that all available
officers are now on the scene.

607
00:42:03,676 --> 00:42:08,802
But at this time, we are advising all
our viewers to find alternate routes.

608
00:42:08,950 --> 00:42:11,758
I'm now being told
we have the actual 911 call

609
00:42:11,907 --> 00:42:14,067
that first alerted the police
to the situation.

610
00:42:14,265 --> 00:42:16,504
911, what's your emergency?

611
00:42:16,663 --> 00:42:19,266
Oh, my God!
Apes are inside the house!

612
00:42:19,420 --> 00:42:21,580
Calm down, ma'am. What happened?

613
00:42:21,738 --> 00:42:23,659
We were making love and...
Oh, my God!

614
00:42:23,816 --> 00:42:25,737
- They're attacking him!
-  Who are they attacking, ma'am?

615
00:42:25,933 --> 00:42:29,571
Carl! Oh, my God!
Please, help him!

616
00:42:29,730 --> 00:42:31,934
- Where is your husband right now?
-  Carl's not my husband.

617
00:42:32,087 --> 00:42:35,770
My husband's the anchor for
Channel 12 News. He can't know about it.

618
00:42:35,923 --> 00:42:37,492
- OK, ma'am, but we need to...
-  Hurry!

619
00:42:37,682 --> 00:42:39,648
Send help while my husband's
still on the air!

620
00:42:39,800 --> 00:42:42,198
Ma'am, that's not important.
Your life is.

621
00:42:42,357 --> 00:42:44,403
Yeah, you're right.
Why should he care?

622
00:42:44,595 --> 00:42:47,835
I mean, I'm pretty sure he's been
sleeping with his co-anchor, that bitch!

623
00:42:47,991 --> 00:42:49,196
Oh, I'm gonna rip her...

624
00:42:53,786 --> 00:42:55,752
Congratulations, girl.

625
00:42:55,903 --> 00:42:59,347
I knew it was gonna be you.
You're just so perfect, so mechanical.

626
00:42:59,500 --> 00:43:02,068
Watching you dance
is like watching a robot.

627
00:43:02,217 --> 00:43:03,422
Thanks.

628
00:43:05,654 --> 00:43:07,256
So hungry.

629
00:43:09,849 --> 00:43:10,849
Mm.

630
00:43:11,008 --> 00:43:13,373
Is that all?
Pierre has a weight limit.

631
00:43:13,526 --> 00:43:16,333
I'm too heavy. Look at Mara.

632
00:43:16,483 --> 00:43:18,847
She looks great.

633
00:43:20,399 --> 00:43:21,604
Look, are you sure you're OK?

634
00:43:22,677 --> 00:43:24,165
Weird things have been
happening at home.

635
00:43:24,315 --> 00:43:26,520
Kathy said there was
going to be an accident.

636
00:43:26,673 --> 00:43:30,594
Then it happened to Heather.
That's some serious shit.

637
00:43:30,749 --> 00:43:32,953
You should talk to those kids.

638
00:43:33,106 --> 00:43:34,675
Whoa, pizza.

639
00:43:37,901 --> 00:43:42,823
I eat and eat and eat,
and I don't gain a pound.

640
00:44:08,191 --> 00:44:09,873
Heather!

641
00:44:11,228 --> 00:44:12,752
You think you can replace me?

642
00:44:12,906 --> 00:44:17,510
Well, we'll see how you like it
once the swan consumes you!

643
00:44:28,091 --> 00:44:30,012
Damn it!

644
00:44:30,569 --> 00:44:31,932
Door!

645
00:44:33,206 --> 00:44:35,093
Son of a bitch!

646
00:44:37,801 --> 00:44:40,847
Oh, I didn't know
you were such a good builder.

647
00:44:42,157 --> 00:44:43,601
Wow.

648
00:44:44,715 --> 00:44:47,794
Kathy, I want you
to tell me about Mama.

649
00:44:47,951 --> 00:44:50,952
Mama doesn't like it
when you talk about her.

650
00:44:51,108 --> 00:44:52,154
Who is Mama?

651
00:44:52,347 --> 00:44:54,586
She was a woman who
read from an evil book.

652
00:44:54,744 --> 00:44:58,029
Sometimes she comes to us in a dream.

653
00:44:58,221 --> 00:45:00,187
In a dream?

654
00:45:00,339 --> 00:45:02,499
In your dreams, of course.

655
00:45:02,657 --> 00:45:04,498
I wish I could see
what's inside your dreams.

656
00:45:06,213 --> 00:45:09,373
To extract what's in your dreams.
To perform an inception.

657
00:45:10,728 --> 00:45:13,093
Will you drop that?
That's my birth tuba.

658
00:45:16,203 --> 00:45:20,204
Hello. I'm Dom Kolb.
You called about a dream extraction?

659
00:45:20,359 --> 00:45:22,757
Yes. I need to find
out about an evil book.

660
00:45:22,916 --> 00:45:24,076
Mm-hm.

661
00:45:24,275 --> 00:45:26,957
This machine will allow us
access to the dream world.

662
00:45:27,112 --> 00:45:28,442
Let's begin.

663
00:45:32,746 --> 00:45:34,349
So when do we start dreaming?

664
00:45:34,505 --> 00:45:37,153
You never really remember
the beginning of a dream,

665
00:45:37,302 --> 00:45:38,507
do you?
I guess.

666
00:45:38,700 --> 00:45:40,622
OK, then,

667
00:45:40,778 --> 00:45:44,461
this is your first lesson
in shared dreaming. Stay calm.

668
00:45:44,615 --> 00:45:47,297
Sorry. I dropped my phone in there.

669
00:45:48,411 --> 00:45:51,775
You need to clear your subconscious.
And watch what you think about.

670
00:45:51,927 --> 00:45:54,166
Nothing crazy.
Right.

671
00:45:54,325 --> 00:45:57,053
Like having your crotch
burst into flames.

672
00:46:07,112 --> 00:46:10,352
What does that
have to do with Ma...?

673
00:46:10,509 --> 00:46:13,077
Hey!
Oh.

674
00:46:13,945 --> 00:46:17,389
Let's start over.

675
00:46:22,297 --> 00:46:24,263
I'm Jody Sanders.

676
00:46:24,415 --> 00:46:26,495
Yes, my dear. I've been expecting you.

677
00:46:26,652 --> 00:46:28,494
Please, come in.

678
00:46:28,650 --> 00:46:30,299
They call me Christian Grey.

679
00:46:34,445 --> 00:46:36,332
How do you like my blue room?

680
00:46:36,483 --> 00:46:39,404
It's red.
Oh. I'm color-blind.

681
00:46:39,600 --> 00:46:41,838
My decorator assured me that...
Never mind.

682
00:46:44,674 --> 00:46:46,323
Champagne?
Mm.

683
00:46:53,539 --> 00:46:56,903
Hey, Christian, man, golly, man!
I'd like to thank you a lot, man,

684
00:46:57,095 --> 00:46:59,414
for working on my prostrate
like it was a speed bag.

685
00:46:59,573 --> 00:47:02,540
Yes, Michael, I must admit, I was
surprised at your performance, as well.

686
00:47:02,689 --> 00:47:06,008
Not bad for a washed-up, overweight,
facially tattooed...

687
00:47:07,764 --> 00:47:08,810
Do it again.

688
00:47:11,401 --> 00:47:12,924
Oh...!

689
00:47:18,074 --> 00:47:20,642
I have no idea what that one was.

690
00:47:21,431 --> 00:47:23,397
Me neither.

691
00:47:25,267 --> 00:47:27,393
Mama, are you here?

692
00:47:27,545 --> 00:47:31,148
Dom, is that you?
Oh, shit.

693
00:47:31,301 --> 00:47:34,585
You said you'd had a dream
that we'd grow old together.

694
00:47:34,737 --> 00:47:36,465
Right. And we will.

695
00:47:36,615 --> 00:47:39,661
What are you doing here?
Hi.

696
00:47:39,812 --> 00:47:41,892
How could you bring her here?
What about our children?

697
00:47:42,050 --> 00:47:45,573
They're not real.
Yes, they are. Watch.

698
00:47:45,766 --> 00:47:47,812
James, Phillippa!

699
00:47:49,642 --> 00:47:50,450
Ew.

700
00:47:56,396 --> 00:47:58,999
You're not gonna jump, are you?

701
00:47:59,153 --> 00:48:01,881
I hadn't thought about that.
Thank you.

702
00:48:04,907 --> 00:48:05,953
OK, we're not getting anywhere.

703
00:48:06,106 --> 00:48:07,594
What does any of this
have to do with Kathy?

704
00:48:07,744 --> 00:48:09,551
Kathy? I thought you were Kathy.

705
00:48:12,899 --> 00:48:14,104
Oh.

706
00:48:27,844 --> 00:48:32,925
"Gort Klaatu Barada Nikto."

707
00:48:50,541 --> 00:48:52,746
What's happening to me?!

708
00:48:54,497 --> 00:48:57,577
That must have been her.
Mama.

709
00:48:58,693 --> 00:49:00,456
She wants to take us home to the cliff.

710
00:49:01,930 --> 00:49:03,737
What does that mean?
I don't know.

711
00:49:04,887 --> 00:49:06,728
But I trust you'll give me
a favorable Yelp review?

712
00:49:13,998 --> 00:49:15,408
Jody's mission was clear.

713
00:49:15,596 --> 00:49:17,517
The evil book that created Mama

714
00:49:17,674 --> 00:49:21,198
was located in the cellar
of a cabin, in the woods.

715
00:49:21,391 --> 00:49:25,516
If she could find that cabin,
maybe she could find some answers.

716
00:49:25,666 --> 00:49:28,746
If we can find that cabin,
maybe we can find some answers.

717
00:49:28,903 --> 00:49:30,790
OK, calm down. I'm gonna come over.

718
00:49:32,499 --> 00:49:33,784
Kendra?
What?

719
00:49:35,656 --> 00:49:37,577
OK, wait, what's going on now?

720
00:49:37,734 --> 00:49:40,099
I think she's out there!

721
00:49:41,570 --> 00:49:43,650
OK, OK, just... you stay calm!

722
00:49:43,848 --> 00:49:44,928
Front door open.

723
00:49:45,087 --> 00:49:47,213
She's in the house!
Front door open.

724
00:49:47,365 --> 00:49:49,490
OK, stay...
Front door open.

725
00:49:49,682 --> 00:49:51,092
Shut the hell up!

726
00:49:51,241 --> 00:49:52,889
No need for that, bitch.

727
00:49:53,039 --> 00:49:54,926
Bitch?!
Front door open.

728
00:49:55,077 --> 00:49:57,203
No, you did not just call me a bitch!
Front door open...

729
00:50:00,551 --> 00:50:01,961
Honey?
Dan?!

730
00:50:02,110 --> 00:50:06,077
I am so sorry. I didn't know
who you were and...

731
00:50:06,266 --> 00:50:09,948
It's OK, honey, it was an accident.
Right, Caesar?

732
00:50:10,142 --> 00:50:12,870
And of course he can stay here.

733
00:50:16,056 --> 00:50:18,261
Look at that. Caesar wants to help out
around the house.

734
00:50:18,413 --> 00:50:19,413
Aw.

735
00:50:20,012 --> 00:50:22,297
Hey...

736
00:50:28,244 --> 00:50:30,562
I'm sorry, I see an ape,
I come out swinging.

737
00:50:30,761 --> 00:50:33,841
That's understandable.

738
00:50:33,998 --> 00:50:35,521
Here you go.

739
00:50:35,676 --> 00:50:38,643
I am so glad you're OK,
but tonight was a wake-up call.

740
00:50:38,793 --> 00:50:42,589
I think we've got to find that cabin.
OK. I got an idea.

741
00:50:42,749 --> 00:50:46,148
Wait, we fired Maria.
Who's gonna watch the kids?

742
00:50:46,346 --> 00:50:48,823
I already took care of it.

743
00:50:50,182 --> 00:50:52,864
Naughty Nanny's here.
Nice to meet you, Naughty.

744
00:50:53,059 --> 00:50:56,105
This is my wife Jody.
Threesome? That costs extra.

745
00:50:57,175 --> 00:50:59,903
Oh, Jesus. Monkey, too?

746
00:51:00,052 --> 00:51:03,973
Oh, you people are freaks,
but for an extra $100.

747
00:51:04,128 --> 00:51:05,491
What agency did you call?

748
00:51:05,646 --> 00:51:08,215
Oh, they have nurses
and cheerleaders and nannies.

749
00:51:08,363 --> 00:51:10,648
Dan, you called an escort service.

750
00:51:10,801 --> 00:51:13,483
I used the same agency
to book a Santa for Christmas.

751
00:51:13,678 --> 00:51:15,327
Someone called for Santa?

752
00:51:16,475 --> 00:51:18,794
Ho,ho,ho.

753
00:51:20,831 --> 00:51:22,877
Dan, you're watching the kids.

754
00:51:28,423 --> 00:51:32,743
Jody was nervous
about what she might find at the cabin,

755
00:51:32,899 --> 00:51:34,501
but she was comforted by the fact

756
00:51:34,657 --> 00:51:38,101
that Caesar and the girls
were in good hands.

757
00:52:03,905 --> 00:52:06,303
Who do you work for?

758
00:52:07,621 --> 00:52:09,542
Kendra, this isn't
the cabin I was talking about.

759
00:52:09,699 --> 00:52:12,700
I know, I just
thought you needed to relax.

760
00:52:12,856 --> 00:52:13,902
Take one of these.

761
00:52:14,734 --> 00:52:17,382
Um, I don't know.

762
00:52:17,531 --> 00:52:20,338
Oh, come on, they'll only last
a couple of hours, tops.

763
00:52:20,488 --> 00:52:23,648
Kendra, I don't need drugs to have fun.

764
00:52:28,001 --> 00:52:29,081
Let me take a picture.
OK.

765
00:52:29,240 --> 00:52:30,399
Oh, that's so hot!

766
00:52:30,598 --> 00:52:32,247
Yeah!

767
00:52:33,915 --> 00:52:36,483
Yeah, ride it, yeah, yeah!

768
00:52:50,818 --> 00:52:53,500
A dollar will make me holler,
honey boo boo child.

769
00:54:07,054 --> 00:54:10,532
Oh, my God,
rehearsal. I'm late.

770
00:54:10,930 --> 00:54:15,374
Oh, no, oh, my God, oh, my God.
Oh, my God.

771
00:54:31,070 --> 00:54:34,434
Stop, stop!
Oh, Jody, thank God you're here, girl.

772
00:54:34,586 --> 00:54:35,996
I was just dancing and kissing him

773
00:54:36,144 --> 00:54:37,588
'cause I didn't want him
to think about you being late.

774
00:54:37,743 --> 00:54:39,948
Well, I'm the dancer, so I'll do
the kissing around here.

775
00:54:40,140 --> 00:54:41,789
That was amazing.

776
00:54:44,776 --> 00:54:46,015
I want you to have my children.

777
00:54:46,174 --> 00:54:48,539
But, Papa, please,
we want to stay with you.

778
00:54:48,692 --> 00:54:50,977
Back in the car, Gaston.
Aw...

779
00:54:51,129 --> 00:54:52,812
She can't make you forget about me.

780
00:54:52,968 --> 00:54:55,048
I overslept because you
just took off this morning.

781
00:54:55,205 --> 00:54:56,774
This morning?
Yeah, you slept over.

782
00:54:56,924 --> 00:54:59,652
What? Wait a minute, did you have
some kind of lezzo dream fantasy

783
00:54:59,801 --> 00:55:01,801
about me?
Don't act like you weren't there.

784
00:55:01,959 --> 00:55:04,800
We had something special.
We made love last night for hours.

785
00:55:04,956 --> 00:55:06,718
What?
Oh, and now you're gonna tell me

786
00:55:06,874 --> 00:55:08,203
Tiger Woods didn't
come out of my vagina?

787
00:55:11,950 --> 00:55:14,996
Jody.

788
00:55:15,146 --> 00:55:17,034
What?!

789
00:55:17,224 --> 00:55:19,350
Oh, yeah, yeah.

790
00:55:19,502 --> 00:55:21,707
Well, that explains the poison ivy.

791
00:55:21,860 --> 00:55:23,269
Jody?

792
00:55:24,377 --> 00:55:26,582
There you are.
Kendra?

793
00:55:26,735 --> 00:55:28,383
Oh, the door was open
so I let myself in.

794
00:55:28,533 --> 00:55:31,215
It's OK. Look, I'm so sorry.

795
00:55:31,370 --> 00:55:33,894
I really believed something happened
between us last night.

796
00:55:34,047 --> 00:55:37,207
I must have dreamt the whole thing.
Oh, no, we had sex.

797
00:55:37,364 --> 00:55:38,888
But this morning at rehearsal,
you said...

798
00:55:39,042 --> 00:55:40,884
I can't have the whole cast
knowing my business.

799
00:55:41,040 --> 00:55:42,529
I'm already doing half of 'em,

800
00:55:42,719 --> 00:55:44,560
and besides, me and Pierre...
we have this little thing...

801
00:55:44,717 --> 00:55:45,922
Wait, then, what's this?

802
00:55:47,394 --> 00:55:49,076
Beats me... must have
happened after I left.

803
00:55:49,232 --> 00:55:52,551
Oh, yeah!
Girl, you are freaky.

804
00:55:54,387 --> 00:55:56,114
Oh, yeah.

805
00:55:56,305 --> 00:55:58,465
Oh, yeah, get it. Oh, my God.

806
00:56:00,901 --> 00:56:02,708
Oh, shit!

807
00:56:02,859 --> 00:56:05,700
See, I knew she was real.

808
00:56:07,974 --> 00:56:09,974
All right, let's find out
where this cabin is.

809
00:56:11,330 --> 00:56:13,137
Ugh!

810
00:56:27,674 --> 00:56:30,151
What in the hell?

811
00:56:30,311 --> 00:56:32,471
Bad girl.

812
00:56:33,948 --> 00:56:34,948
Oh, what is this?

813
00:56:35,106 --> 00:56:38,664
Oh, my God, it's the same
cabin from the dream. Of course.

814
00:56:40,221 --> 00:56:41,949
So, what are we gonna do
if we find that book?

815
00:56:42,139 --> 00:56:44,788
I don't know, if that's the book
that turned Mama into what she is,

816
00:56:44,937 --> 00:56:47,505
maybe it could
somehow reverse the curse.

817
00:56:47,654 --> 00:56:49,142
OK, we're almost there.

818
00:56:50,451 --> 00:56:53,611
Hey, I'm not going in there.
We have to go inside.

819
00:56:53,808 --> 00:56:57,013
The book is the key
to the nightmare I'm living.

820
00:56:57,164 --> 00:57:00,722
Oh, my gosh, who are you?
I'm Jody and this is Kendra.

821
00:57:00,881 --> 00:57:02,643
We're looking for something
very important.

822
00:57:02,799 --> 00:57:05,037
We all are. Come on in.

823
00:57:10,271 --> 00:57:13,511
♪ Go tell it on the mountain

824
00:57:13,668 --> 00:57:17,828
♪ Over the hills and everywhere
Go...

825
00:57:17,983 --> 00:57:20,507
Everybody, this is Jody and Kendra.

826
00:57:20,661 --> 00:57:22,423
Hello, Jody and Kendra.
Hi.

827
00:57:22,579 --> 00:57:23,818
Pardon me for not standing,

828
00:57:23,977 --> 00:57:26,501
but I'm mending the wing of this bird
that we found in the woods.

829
00:57:26,655 --> 00:57:29,383
OK. Hi, we're in a hurry.

830
00:57:29,532 --> 00:57:31,294
We're actually looking for
a book that could save lives.

831
00:57:31,450 --> 00:57:33,815
Yes, I've got it right here.
Oh, thank God.

832
00:57:33,967 --> 00:57:38,127
Thank him indeed. The Bible.
Here, let me read to you.

833
00:57:38,283 --> 00:57:41,011
Oh, no, no, see,
we're actually looking for...

834
00:57:41,160 --> 00:57:45,002
...the book of evil.
I know evil all too well.

835
00:57:45,156 --> 00:57:47,043
You do?
This weekend's devoted to Mia.

836
00:57:47,194 --> 00:57:48,479
It's a detox weekend.

837
00:57:49,832 --> 00:57:52,116
She's hooked on energy shots.

838
00:57:52,269 --> 00:57:53,872
Oh, yeah, that's a real struggle.

839
00:57:54,027 --> 00:57:55,710
OK, listen,
we're looking for another book

840
00:57:55,866 --> 00:57:58,548
somewhere in this cabin.
Hm. We haven't seen anything.

841
00:57:58,703 --> 00:58:00,385
We gave it a shot,
let's get out of here.

842
00:58:00,541 --> 00:58:02,382
OK, wait.

843
00:58:02,539 --> 00:58:05,619
- Is there a cellar?
-  Great.

844
00:58:10,371 --> 00:58:12,451
There it is.
Oh!

845
00:58:29,072 --> 00:58:30,402
OK, I don't care what it says.

846
00:58:31,830 --> 00:58:33,637
"The curse begins with four words.

847
00:58:33,788 --> 00:58:37,152
Gort Klaatu Barada Nikto."

848
00:58:48,972 --> 00:58:50,382
You're all going to die tonight.

849
00:58:53,648 --> 00:58:55,375
You're all going to die tonight.

850
00:59:09,752 --> 00:59:11,400
"The curse ends with one word.

851
00:59:11,550 --> 00:59:13,152
Adunda."

852
00:59:15,786 --> 00:59:17,115
What the heck?

853
00:59:17,304 --> 00:59:20,748
Why?
I don't have an arm.

854
00:59:22,139 --> 00:59:24,708
For some reason
I cut my tongue in half.

855
00:59:24,856 --> 00:59:28,300
OK, well, let's at least finish
the song. Everyone hold hands.

856
00:59:28,453 --> 00:59:31,693
Except for Eric.
Damn.

857
00:59:31,889 --> 00:59:35,935
♪ Go tell it on the mountain

858
00:59:36,085 --> 00:59:40,245
♪ Over the hills and everywhere

859
00:59:40,401 --> 00:59:42,878
Well, maybe we didn't do it right.

860
00:59:43,038 --> 00:59:45,800
"Gort Klaatu Barada Nikto."

861
00:59:58,543 --> 01:00:00,589
"Adunda."

862
01:00:00,741 --> 01:00:03,389
Why does this keep happening?
Where's my arm?

863
01:00:03,538 --> 01:00:06,015
Is this yours?
That's a left.

864
01:00:06,175 --> 01:00:07,699
That's mine.
Could you hand it to me, please?

865
01:00:07,853 --> 01:00:10,377
I need a right.
Eric chainsawed it off.

866
01:00:10,531 --> 01:00:12,815
Look, I'm sorry.
My... My leg?

867
01:00:12,968 --> 01:00:15,333
No, that's black. It's not mine.

868
01:00:15,486 --> 01:00:18,089
Oh, shit.
I don't know what I'm gonna do.

869
01:00:18,243 --> 01:00:21,084
Oh, cry me a river.

870
01:00:21,240 --> 01:00:23,240
I'm gonna need a little help.
I have to go to the bathroom.

871
01:00:24,557 --> 01:00:28,194
My penis is in the corner.
This is fucked up.

872
01:00:28,353 --> 01:00:29,876
Let me try.

873
01:00:31,710 --> 01:00:36,552
"Gort Klaatu Barada Nikto."

874
01:00:39,422 --> 01:00:40,422
Nothing again.

875
01:00:43,857 --> 01:00:45,506
You know what? Let's go.
Wait, there's a door right here.

876
01:00:45,656 --> 01:00:46,985
Let's go out this way.

877
01:00:47,134 --> 01:00:49,578
OK, cool, we can avoid
the weirdos upstairs.

878
01:00:49,731 --> 01:00:53,210
♪ We're gonna get you

879
01:00:53,368 --> 01:00:56,175
3 Not another peep

880
01:00:58,203 --> 01:01:04,125
Gort Klaatu Barada Nikto.
Gort Klaatu Barada Nikto.

881
01:01:04,437 --> 01:01:06,835
Kendra and I recited
the Latin words over and over

882
01:01:06,994 --> 01:01:09,074
at the cabin and on the way home.

883
01:01:09,232 --> 01:01:12,039
We must have said it a hundred times,
but nothing happened.

884
01:01:12,189 --> 01:01:13,394
What if it isn't the right book?

885
01:01:13,548 --> 01:01:15,866
Maybe the curse
has somehow been lifted.

886
01:01:17,863 --> 01:01:21,228
Luckily for Dan and Jody,
there was someone in the house

887
01:01:21,380 --> 01:01:23,698
who, thanks to the I-13 formula,

888
01:01:23,857 --> 01:01:27,654
had increased intelligence
and superior cognitive ability.

889
01:01:27,813 --> 01:01:30,382
His analytical problem-solving skills
allowed him...

890
01:01:30,531 --> 01:01:33,338
...to ascertain crucial information.

891
01:01:33,488 --> 01:01:38,444
A marvel of modern-day science,
his IQ had surpassed even the most...

892
01:01:38,603 --> 01:01:39,887
Aw, hell.

893
01:02:10,810 --> 01:02:12,697
Why did I think
you could be intelligent?

894
01:02:12,888 --> 01:02:14,888
You're nothing but a dumb animal.

895
01:02:15,046 --> 01:02:16,410
Ow!

896
01:02:16,565 --> 01:02:18,372
Idiot!

897
01:02:20,800 --> 01:02:23,039
- I can talk.
-  Hey, Caesar.

898
01:02:24,716 --> 01:02:27,717
Steve?

899
01:02:27,873 --> 01:02:29,556
Dan's got a mad demon in his house.

900
01:02:30,311 --> 01:02:33,437
Matt Damon's in his house?
No, a mad demon.

901
01:02:33,588 --> 01:02:37,668
I love Matt Damon. Jason Bourne.

902
01:02:37,823 --> 01:02:39,028
Oy.

903
01:02:41,699 --> 01:02:44,825
I should have known not to bring
a wild animal into the house.

904
01:02:45,016 --> 01:02:46,618
I'm... I'm so sorry.

905
01:02:46,774 --> 01:02:48,774
But I believed in Caesar.
I thought he was different.

906
01:02:48,972 --> 01:02:50,097
There's something more to this.

907
01:02:50,251 --> 01:02:53,615
I can feel it.
No, he just... went crazy.

908
01:02:53,807 --> 01:02:57,126
Forget it. But I still think Mama
could be in this house.

909
01:02:57,284 --> 01:02:59,046
But don't you...
We just had a whole night go on

910
01:02:59,202 --> 01:03:02,964
without a single sign of anything.
I guess.

911
01:03:03,957 --> 01:03:05,878
I was just so scared
last night for the kids.

912
01:03:06,035 --> 01:03:07,524
You're coming around.

913
01:03:09,072 --> 01:03:12,516
Am I getting attached to them?

914
01:03:53,707 --> 01:03:55,470
It's the cliff from the dream.

915
01:03:56,145 --> 01:03:58,952
Get in the car now.
Don't make me yell!

916
01:03:59,102 --> 01:04:01,705
Unto thee, Satan,
I sacrifice these children.

917
01:04:01,859 --> 01:04:04,303
Return home to the cliff of...
Holy shit!

918
01:04:06,175 --> 01:04:08,778
Home is at the cliff.
Oh, my God. Girls!

919
01:04:09,651 --> 01:04:13,175
Kathy. It's OK. I saw the cliff.
I know what "home" means.

920
01:04:24,397 --> 01:04:26,124
Whoa!

921
01:04:28,113 --> 01:04:29,556
Come on, girls. Let's go get Aidan.

922
01:04:29,711 --> 01:04:31,552
That's cool.

923
01:04:31,709 --> 01:04:34,074
Lily! Come on.

924
01:04:35,945 --> 01:04:37,832
Aidan! Are you OK?

925
01:04:46,774 --> 01:04:48,501
Uncle Dan! Uncle Dan!

926
01:04:48,652 --> 01:04:50,141
Mama! Mama! Mama!

927
01:04:50,291 --> 01:04:51,416
She's here!

928
01:04:51,569 --> 01:04:54,490
Whoa. Girls, girls, girls.
One at a time. Lily, you first.

929
01:04:57,763 --> 01:04:59,048
Got it. Now Kathy.

930
01:04:59,202 --> 01:05:01,645
Mama! Mama! She's here!
She's gonna kill us!

931
01:05:01,799 --> 01:05:04,198
How many times do I have to tell
everyone there's no such thing as...

932
01:05:30,131 --> 01:05:31,336
Ow!

933
01:05:51,030 --> 01:05:52,632
Maria? What are you doing here?

934
01:05:52,788 --> 01:05:55,629
I was angry you fire me,
so I bake you this.

935
01:05:56,984 --> 01:06:00,064
A shit pie?

936
01:06:00,261 --> 01:06:03,341
Uh, thanks, but...
Hot dog?

937
01:06:05,096 --> 01:06:08,222
No, that's still shit with mustard.

938
01:06:08,373 --> 01:06:12,612
Maybe just a banana, then?
Very much potassium.

939
01:06:12,808 --> 01:06:15,332
So bueno, Mr. Dan.

940
01:06:15,485 --> 01:06:17,770
No, I... I'm sorry.
I should have listened to you...

941
01:06:17,923 --> 01:06:22,322
Mr. Dan, we have our problems,
but I always love you.

942
01:06:22,478 --> 01:06:23,922
So much.

943
01:06:29,471 --> 01:06:32,234
When I see you, I see my father.

944
01:06:34,746 --> 01:06:36,110
Dan. Dan, we have to...

945
01:06:37,224 --> 01:06:40,270
Wait. What's going on here?
I can explain.

946
01:06:41,140 --> 01:06:43,220
There's no time. Mama has the girls.
I know where she took them.

947
01:06:44,416 --> 01:06:46,144
Got to go.

948
01:06:46,295 --> 01:06:47,783
You remind me of my father.

949
01:06:47,973 --> 01:06:49,700
Dan!

950
01:06:52,608 --> 01:06:54,495
Knowing the girls
were in danger,

951
01:06:54,646 --> 01:06:57,886
Dan and Jody sped off,
racing to get to the cliff they...

952
01:06:58,043 --> 01:07:00,248
Oh, my God. What happened to the car?

953
01:07:00,400 --> 01:07:01,844
Where...? Oh, there it is.

954
01:07:01,999 --> 01:07:06,284
They were no longer able to sit idly by
and let a ghost jump off a cliff,

955
01:07:06,474 --> 01:07:08,043
- sacrificing their children with her.
-  Kathy! Lily!

956
01:07:08,193 --> 01:07:10,875
Oh, my God. There they are.
Kathy, Lily, stop!

957
01:07:13,707 --> 01:07:15,833
What do we do now?
Um, I'll just...

958
01:07:15,985 --> 01:07:17,633
...read from this
and change her back to human.

959
01:07:26,534 --> 01:07:28,978
Girls, run! Run! No.

960
01:07:29,132 --> 01:07:30,700
No, not that way. Away from the cliff!

961
01:07:33,168 --> 01:07:34,372
I'm not going to let Mama
take you away again.

962
01:07:34,526 --> 01:07:36,765
Hm?

963
01:07:40,960 --> 01:07:44,847
Lily, stop! Come on.
Come on. Here, girl. Come on, Lily.

964
01:07:46,195 --> 01:07:49,877
Come on. Look. Oh, look. Yeah.

965
01:07:55,425 --> 01:07:59,188
Come on. Look. Oh, yeah. Lily.

966
01:07:59,341 --> 01:08:02,229
Oh, wow. Yeah.

967
01:08:03,417 --> 01:08:04,656
Oh, come on.

968
01:08:05,695 --> 01:08:08,502
Enough! This is crazy.

969
01:08:08,652 --> 01:08:11,256
Lily's not a dog.

970
01:08:11,409 --> 01:08:13,887
She's a beautiful little girl
who I've grown to love.

971
01:08:14,047 --> 01:08:17,490
I love all these children, Mama,
even if they don't all love me.

972
01:08:17,683 --> 01:08:21,889
Lily loves you, too, Jody.

973
01:08:22,039 --> 01:08:23,607
And they belong in this world
with me and Dan.

974
01:08:23,757 --> 01:08:26,360
Because they deserve parents
who aren't decomposing.

975
01:08:27,393 --> 01:08:28,917
Good girl.

976
01:08:29,072 --> 01:08:32,198
All right, enough.

977
01:08:33,307 --> 01:08:35,307
Where's the page?
Damn it, I can't find it.

978
01:08:35,465 --> 01:08:36,909
Forget it.

979
01:08:37,064 --> 01:08:39,064
There, that worked. Maybe not.

980
01:08:58,163 --> 01:09:00,640
Man, we need to stop smoking this shit.

981
01:09:04,716 --> 01:09:06,921
Told you that shark
was going to come in handy.

982
01:09:07,074 --> 01:09:09,312
Thank you. Lily.

983
01:09:10,191 --> 01:09:12,191
Honey, thank God you're all right.

984
01:09:24,856 --> 01:09:27,697
Your cue is coming up.
Oh, Kendra.

985
01:09:30,450 --> 01:09:32,689
Look, it's OK, girl.
Let's forget about what happened.

986
01:09:32,888 --> 01:09:37,048
You are the Black Swan.
No. It's you.

987
01:09:37,203 --> 01:09:41,125
Throwing Mama off the cliff has really
made me reevaluate my priorities.

988
01:09:41,279 --> 01:09:44,405
My family comes first.
You dance the Black Swan.

989
01:09:45,635 --> 01:09:48,113
Because sometimes in life...
OK.

990
01:09:49,791 --> 01:09:54,474
Introducing our new Swan Queen,
Miss Kendra Brooks.

991
01:10:16,204 --> 01:10:19,444
This is not ballet.
No, it the hell ain't.

992
01:10:21,319 --> 01:10:23,047
This some bullshit.

993
01:10:31,949 --> 01:10:34,790
Yeah! Yeah! Yeah!

994
01:10:34,946 --> 01:10:37,867
That's what I'm talking about!
Right? Right?

995
01:10:38,023 --> 01:10:39,432
You know that shit, right?

996
01:10:39,581 --> 01:10:42,582
And so our story ends.

997
01:10:42,738 --> 01:10:44,898
If anything is to be learned from this,

998
01:10:45,096 --> 01:10:48,063
it's that mankind is a pathetic race

999
01:10:48,212 --> 01:10:51,577
and apes need to take over this planet.

1000
01:10:51,729 --> 01:10:55,207
Enjoy Earth while you still got it.

1001
01:11:34,963 --> 01:11:38,645
Well, we'll see how you like it
once the swan consumes you!

1002
01:12:00,057 --> 01:12:03,263
I cannot hold it that long.
It's, like... it's so long.

1003
01:12:37,223 --> 01:12:38,906
We're kissing.

1004
01:12:43,817 --> 01:12:45,897
' Cut! Cut!

1005
01:12:47,613 --> 01:12:49,056
Cut!

1006
01:12:52,808 --> 01:12:53,808
We're kissing.

1007
01:13:13,067 --> 01:13:16,147
Cut!

1008
01:13:29,491 --> 01:13:31,935
- What happened?
-  Guy was in the shot.

1009
01:13:32,088 --> 01:13:34,612
- Ah.
-  Cut!

1010
01:13:34,806 --> 01:13:36,090
But was he dressed like a demon?

1011
01:13:39,201 --> 01:13:40,963
Do the second "my penis"
as a question.

1012
01:13:41,119 --> 01:13:43,199
OK. And then "my other penis"
is a question also?

1013
01:13:43,357 --> 01:13:44,562
Yeah.
OK.

1014
01:13:44,716 --> 01:13:46,637
But remember, you're jumping
to "What the hell is that?"

1015
01:13:46,794 --> 01:13:48,874
I know. I don't know why.
You're jumping... Yeah.

1016
01:13:49,031 --> 01:13:50,759
There's just so many penises.

1017
01:13:50,910 --> 01:13:53,308
Welcome to Hollywood.

1018
01:13:56,344 --> 01:13:58,709
I'm ready for it.
Hey.

1019
01:13:58,862 --> 01:14:00,385
I'm OK with this.

1020
01:14:00,540 --> 01:14:03,461
That's the temporary nurses' shower.

1021
01:14:03,617 --> 01:14:05,538
And we're painting it.
Cut.

1022
01:14:05,695 --> 01:14:08,696
That's the... temporary nurses' shower.

1023
01:14:08,852 --> 01:14:10,500
I'm OK with this.

1024
01:14:14,566 --> 01:14:16,373
Sorry, you guys. I...

1025
01:14:19,881 --> 01:14:21,210
I'm OK with this.

1026
01:14:21,359 --> 01:14:24,803
That's the nurses'
temporary locker room,

1027
01:14:24,955 --> 01:14:26,604
and we're repainting it.

1028
01:14:28,272 --> 01:14:29,557
' Cut.

1029
01:14:36,464 --> 01:14:39,670
Ouch. Hello here!

1030
01:14:42,778 --> 01:14:43,858
B mark!

1031
01:14:44,056 --> 01:14:45,943
- And background.
-  Action!

1032
01:14:48,732 --> 01:14:50,539
Oh!

1033
01:14:56,004 --> 01:14:59,130
Jody! Thank God I caught you.

1034
01:15:00,080 --> 01:15:02,921
I forgot to tell you, now that
you are the Swan Queen...

1035
01:15:06,873 --> 01:15:08,203
Suck my...

1036
01:15:10,790 --> 01:15:12,949
I'll save you, Snoop Dogg.

1037
01:15:13,107 --> 01:15:16,267
My name ain't Snoop Dogg
in this...  movie, man!

1038
01:15:21,499 --> 01:15:23,704
Well, I mean, I...
Sh...

1039
01:15:33,846 --> 01:15:34,846
Stop it!

1040
01:15:35,005 --> 01:15:36,892
We're good. We're good.

1041
01:15:40,000 --> 01:15:43,206
Now prepare for a night
of unparalleled passion.

1042
01:15:43,357 --> 01:15:46,039
Oh, wait, wait, Mr. Grey...
The safe word is "deeper."

1043
01:15:46,194 --> 01:15:47,194
What?

1044
01:15:54,226 --> 01:15:55,386
Damn! Ow!

1045
01:15:55,545 --> 01:15:56,874
Whoa!

1046
01:16:00,979 --> 01:16:02,787
What does all this
have to do with the ballet?

1047
01:16:02,937 --> 01:16:06,461
Ballet?
Yes. Aren't you donating millions?

1048
01:16:06,614 --> 01:16:08,376
Millions? What...? I'm broke.

1049
01:16:08,532 --> 01:16:10,532
Every cent I have
has been put into this room.

1050
01:16:15,085 --> 01:16:17,563
I don't know what I'm going to do.

1051
01:16:17,763 --> 01:16:20,286
Oh, cry me a river.

1052
01:16:20,440 --> 01:16:24,884
I'm going to need a little help.
I don't have a penis.

1053
01:16:43,097 --> 01:16:44,621
It does not come off.

1054
01:16:44,775 --> 01:16:46,821
It does not come off. I'm sorry.

1055
01:16:49,970 --> 01:16:51,891
I'm getting tired of talking
about this...

1056
01:16:52,048 --> 01:16:54,014
In the woods with this man.

1057
01:16:54,166 --> 01:16:57,724
...man, we keep going in
circles, talking about a...  man.

1058
01:16:57,882 --> 01:16:59,212
Let's talk about a...  man,

1059
01:16:59,361 --> 01:17:01,043
- or getting some...
-  getting some...

1060
01:17:01,199 --> 01:17:03,199
Talking about...
these two dudes in the woods.

1061
01:17:03,357 --> 01:17:07,483
If we had a...  here, she could
wash our...  off right now.

1062
01:17:07,633 --> 01:17:10,110
You understand me?
That's the way I would say it.

1063
01:17:13,227 --> 01:17:14,989
Hey, babe, check out
this psychic's book for a clue.

1064
01:17:15,145 --> 01:17:17,907
It really freaks me out.
Come on, there's nothing to be...

1065
01:17:18,062 --> 01:17:19,824
Nuh!

1066
01:17:19,980 --> 01:17:22,709
These books are all...

1067
01:17:22,857 --> 01:17:25,426
There's nothing to be scared...

1068
01:17:30,610 --> 01:17:33,690
...to be scared...

1069
01:17:35,005 --> 01:17:36,335
Oh, there's nothing to be scared...

1070
01:17:36,484 --> 01:17:38,291
Oh, wrong animal.

1071
01:17:39,681 --> 01:17:42,840
...be scared... A dinosaur?

1072
01:17:47,033 --> 01:17:48,999
What does this have to do with...?

1073
01:17:53,347 --> 01:17:54,393
I know. Sorry.

1074
01:17:56,224 --> 01:17:58,270
And... action!

1075
01:17:58,422 --> 01:18:02,025
- What does this have to do with...?
-  Sorry.

1076
01:18:05,694 --> 01:18:09,491
You just keep cupping your boobs.
OK, sorry.

1077
01:18:27,633 --> 01:18:29,633
OK, how do we know who's a witch?

1078
01:18:32,228 --> 01:18:34,388
Do they have a broom?

1079
01:18:34,546 --> 01:18:35,955
Do they have a pointy nose?

1080
01:18:42,338 --> 01:18:46,419
I'm... I'm going to pee my pants!

1081
01:18:54,126 --> 01:18:55,490
So, what, I didn't get the part?

1082
01:18:55,644 --> 01:18:57,532
Where's everybody going?

1083
01:25:06,833 --> 01:25:09,072
I just had the most bizarro dream.

1084
01:25:09,231 --> 01:25:11,435
Demons, apes, a ballet.

1085
01:25:11,588 --> 01:25:13,873
You have a very active subconscious.

1086
01:25:14,026 --> 01:25:16,264
Anyway, the idea took hold.

1087
01:25:16,423 --> 01:25:19,310
Lindsay Lohan's coming over
to spend the night with you.

1088
01:25:19,460 --> 01:25:21,301
Awesome!

1089
01:25:28,411 --> 01:25:29,650
You were driving.