Reader x Alp

"Ugh, it's too hot!" The Alp complained, stomping on the dirt road.

You looked up at the sky. It was drizzling and cloudy.

Fucking Alps...

It's been a week since this Alp asked you to accompany her to the next town.
And then to the next town, and the next...

     'Aren't female Alps supposed to be more... Developed?'
You thought to yourself as you absent-mindedly stared at her ass, which (besides her surprisingly pretty face) was her only outstanding physical feature.

You hoped she *was* a female Alp, and not a girly-boy Alp, otherwise staring at her like this would be totally gay.
                    (not that there's anything wroooong with that)

You can't remember her name, so you've started calling her "Shaft."
Unfortunately, this just makes her whinge more.
And she whinges a lot.

"S-stop calling me that!"
"It's too hot..."
"I'm thirsty..."
"It's too cold! I wanna wear your armour. Gimme your armour!"
"Ew! This soup is too green and it doesn't even taste like anything!"

Over and over and fucking over...

You're certain her actual name was really long and hard to pronounce, but somehow still forgettable.




Some time passes and the two of you come across an inn, and after some bickering and complaining, you decide to go inn.

Pun inn-tended.

You let Shaft enter first, so as not to hear her complain about "ladies first" (again), and stare at her ass (again) while she walks through the door.

There's a few people inn-side (I'll stop, I promise), some are human and some are varying species of manomo, talking amongst each other, drinking, eating, etc.


There's a Weresheep resting her head on the counter, snoozing.

You try to get a reaction out of her.

"...Uh, excuse me, miss?"
The only response is gentle breathing and mumbling about 'scary shears.'

Shaft looks at you, annoyed and says;
"Ugh, why can't you do anything right?"

Bitch.

Shaft quickly raises her hand and slams it on the counter.

"BUT MA THEY'RE VIBRATING!" The Weresheep is roused from her slumber, startled.

Shaft looks annoyed, as usual.
She clears her throat and says "Morning, Sleeping Beauty. Can me and my friend here please have a room?"

The Weresheep looks like she's about to fall back asleep.
Shaft acts flustered.
After a good 30 seconds, the sleepy fluffball behind the counter finally says;

"Yes! Okay. You can have... " She yawned. "... This one!"
She hands you a key before she puts her head against the counter again, asleep.




"Ugh! Why are you so *stupid*?! You can't even wake up a Weresheep!"

The two of you were in your room now, with Shaft laying into you.

"blahblahblah idiot, yap blah stupid assmuncher blah blah wurm-brain blah blah."

Sure, she complains a lot, but she's never torn into you like this.
Has she? You've gotten used to it by now, really.

Why are you even still accompanying her? Oh, right. She's fucking loaded with cash.
...nevermind.

While she's busy complaining, you go into the bathroom to change out of your armour and daytime clothing.

You drown out the loud complaining by thinking to yourself.

'Sheesh. Is she on her period? Do monsters even *get* periods? They probably get "sex periods," but I don't think she's ever gotten one of th-'

The loud noise of a door slamming open interrupts your thoughts.

Shaft has just barged into the restroom, without even knocking.
'Probably too busy complaining,' said you to yourself.

You were just about to take off your undergarments, too.

"..."
Shaft stares at your almost naked, sweaty-from-carrying-all-her-stuff body for more than a few seconds as her face turns Crimson.

You decide to break the silence, and the now-uncomfortable stare.
"Make a painting, it'll last longer."

Shaft's face turns a shade beyond the colour red as she mumbles out a barely-audible "s-sorry..." as she backs out of the restroom.


While you're in your side of the bed (the Weresheep gave you a key with a love heart on it, that was probably a bad sign) it occurs to you;

Shaft has never seen you naked.
Or shirtless.
Or much of your skin at all, really.

While you're thinking about how this sounds out of context you can hear a very quiet, very... "moist" noise from the other side of the bed.

Actually, no, it's quite loud. How did you not hear this?
You stay still and listen further.
...

Your name is being moaned out.
...
Wow.
Fucking.
Wow.

Shaft is fingering herself to you.
At least, you hope she's fingering herself to you and not wanking it to you.

...

Nope, she's definitely fingering herself.
'That's a relief,' you say to you. 'If Shaft was a boy this would be totally, incredibly gay.'

Instinct tells you to, for whatever reason, turn over and stare at her.

Shaft has her eyes closed, so she doesn't notice for a few seconds, but then she probably feels something watching her and stops.

Shaft opens her eyes.

She looks over to you.

She starts quivering.

You keep staring.

Shaft bites her lip, takes her finger(s) out of her cunt, and sits up, still quivering.

You're about to say somethi-

"BYTHEGODSWHYAREYOUSTARINGATMEIHAVENEEDSTOOSTOPSTARINGATMELIKETHAT!!!"

...but Shaft decides to interrupt the fucking *narrator.*

"It'snotmyfaultyou'resostupidlyhotandthati'mattractedtoyouandthatyou'rewaytoocuteformetonotletyougetawayfrommeandblahblahblahblahblahblah"

You're not sure why, but hearing Shaft blame you for being attractive really... Sets you off.

In more ways than one, you notice, as your fleshy great sword starts to rise.


"Andyoudidn'tevenmakeamoveonmejeezandtothinkienduredwearingthesestupisshortshortsjustsoyoucouldstareatmybuttyoustupidshiteatingchickenpieceofshitmotherfucke-"

---Did she just call you chicken?
Nobody.
Calls you chicken.

You grab her by the throat to shut her up and push her back down onto the bed.

"HEYLETGOOFMEYOUSTUPIDSEXYPIECEOFSH-"

You pull your stiff, fleshy weapon out of your pants and slam it on her mouth.

"Shut. Up."

She does so.

Her face turns even further beyond red as your hot, throbbing meat lance is right on her lips.

There's silence for a few moments, a sound you've long forgotten, amidst the constant bickering and complaining Shaft constantly throws at you.

You decide it's time for a reward after enduring all that shit described above.

You roughly stuff every inch of your flesh tower into Shaft's throat.

You look behind you, and see that Shaft has completely soaked the spot under, and around her cunt.

You slowly, ever so slowly, pull out of Shaft's mouth, only to slam back into her throat at the last inch.

You can tell she's enjoying this, you can hear her muffles moaning and the moist, sopping noises from her cunt, of which she's fingering and rubbing.

You continue thrusting in and out of Shaft's mouth for a good while, before cumming down her throat and riding out your ensuing orgasm.

You pull your veiny Eiffel Tower out of Shaft's throat, panting.
Shaft gasps for air and covers her forehead with her palm.

How ladylike.

You can see your skin mace dropping in size, and you pull your pants back up.

Before you can go back to sleep, Shaft suddenly says (through breaths of air)
"Is..hahh..that all...?"

...is she challenging you?

"I bet... haaah... if I milked you with my cunt.... hahh... you'd marry me... hahh.."

Pssh. As if you'd put up with all the nagging.

'..she is awfully pretty, though..'

               Wait, what? No! Imagine the complaining!

'... I wonder what my kid would look like if she was the mother...'

                What? Stop! I'm not writing that!

You crawl over to Shaft's waiting body.

Your trouser-cobra starts to stiffen up again.

                    No! Bros before hoes! Bros before Alps!

You take off her nightie.
You line up your lengthy flagpole with her sopping wet cunt.

                   Stop! Isn't this illegal?!? She used to be a boy! She's an Alp! Stop!

You thrust inwards.
The two of you moan in pure ecstasy.

                      Oh, whatever....




Needless to say, you both slept splendidly that night.
  (The occupants next to your room didn't, though)

As you walk down the stairs and to the exit, Shaft clings to your arm.

...cute.

On your way out, you wave goodbye to the Weresheep proprietor.
She winks to you in response.

Cheeky bitch.