Pinkie Pie = Best Pony

Author: Anonymous
Parts: 1

1/1
>Get new fluffy pony from adoption center.
>Baby fluffy pegasus.
>Barely weaned off fluffy milk.
>Fall in love at first sight.
>Don't even get him home before you have to pull over and play with him in the car.
>"Yay, fwuffy wuv new daddy!"
>Daddy loves new fluffy too.
>Already have safe room built but new fluffy spends barely any time there.
>Always out playing.
>Sleeps in your bed, curled up against your cheek.
>Don't even mind the occasional accident; he'll learn with time.
>Little fluffy pegasus loves watching TV with you.
>Flaps his useless little wings excitedly when he really likes something.
>Favorite show is MLP: FiM.
>everythingwentbetterthanexpected.jpg
"Do you like TV ponies?"
>"Yes! Yes! Wuv daddy but wuv tewwyvision ponies too!"
"Which one is your favorite?"
>"AppweJack!"
>Grab fluffy pony by the tail.
>Stomp down the stairs, bouncing his head off every step.
>"Owwie! Ow! Owwie! Why daddy huwt fluffy?"
>Don't say a word.
>Open furnace door.
>"Nooo!!! Pwease no hot fiwe daddy! Pwease no!!!"
>Don't toss fluffy pony inside.
>Pierce fluffy pony genitals with fishhook.
>Hang him by wire directly in front of open furnace.
>No quick death for you, stinking vermin creature.
>Fluffy pony writhes and screams in agony as he is slowly roasted by furnace heat.
>Fluff actually prolongs his suffering by insulating organs from the heat.
>Death takes hours.
>Fucking AppleJack fan.
>That's not how you spell Pinkie Pie.
>Toss the corpse outside to be eaten by stray dogs.
>Get a cat.
>Cats are badass.
>Cats appreciate Pinkie Pie.